Save This Dog – posted by Dave in Texas April 2, 2006Posted by daveintexas in AA - Uncategorized.
His life is in your hands.
They got him when I was out of town. Called it in so to speak. Daddy, we got a puppy.
An effin Beagle.
He has chewed through, oh let’s see, three places in the sofa, about a thousand rolls of toilet paper, 5 chair legs, every sprinkler control cover (AND the wiring), my last briefcase, most of the door trim on the back door, one of my dress shoes, 5 DVDs, 7 pillows, and 3 belts. He barks incessantly at squirrels, which frankly I can’t give him too much grief over but shut the hell up already! He will always leap up on my bed when I’m not around to tell him not to, and he always come sucking up all apologetically when I yell at him to get his furry ass OFF the bed. He is a relationship abuser. I figure so far he’s been about a $3400 problem, but he’s on his game and he’s not done.
I do not expect much of a return on my investment. Actually, I think I’m about to write him off and take my loss like a man. And you know what that means. He’s about to join the choir invisible. His metabolic processes are about to cease.
You can save this dog. You know you want to. Just look at him. He isn’t a bad dog. He’s a kid. With a dog crack habit or something, hell I don’t know what’s wrong with him. If I did I would have fixed it already. So it’s desperate measure time. He’s going to die. He is and that’s that.
Unless you step in. You can intervene. You can save him. I will pay you, ok, pretty much whatever you want up to my damages, and shipping, just to take him off my hands. I’ll tell everybody here he ran away. That’s plausible, given his “oh look, the door’s open” behavior, hell we spent an hour coaxing him back last time. And given the damages, and the money spent, I’m sure I can convince the fam we can’t do this again.
Otherwise, it’s a bullet to the head. Those of you who know me and squirrels, know I’m capable of it. So what do you say? I’ll give you a week. He’s a goner after that. I mean, he’s got his moments, but I can’t take it anymore. You can though, he’s much better than he was and I’m just bitter about the past. Save him. You know you want to.