Apocalypse Snow April 13, 2007
Posted by Michael in Heroes, History.trackback
“Proud Liberal Vet” was a famously obnoxious commenter at Ace of Spades HQ, and a fraudulent veteran to boot. He claimed to have performed his military service in Antarctica. Ultimately, Ace banned him.
Yesterday, Dave in Texas was moved to tell the story of Proud Liberal Vet, in a comment thread below.
In order to appreciate this, you need to understand that Dave was home on sick leave, due to knee surgery. He was high on Vicodin and alcohol.
So inspired, Dave ventured to tell the saga of PLV’s service to his country in Antarctica. I thought I should collect these comments in a post, for the sake of posterity.
The story is told in installments. Initially, the narrator is the man who has been sent by the government to kill PLV, a man who strangely identifies with him. Towards the end, the narrator is PLV himself (you will note a new monkey face), reflecting on the grueling, soul-crushing experience of warfare at the southern reaches of civilization.
Every word of this story is the original work of Dave in Texas. I’m pretty sure that he did not copy any of this from a movie or something. The voice is also Dave, which he alters when he shifts characters for the final three episodes.
I couldn’t believe that they wanted this man dead.
. . .
He was being groomed for one of the top slots at Corporation — Admiral, Assistant Director of Human Resources — anything.
You must make the bestest friends of horror.
Wow. I am profoundly moved.
I believe the original transcript is still posted at Mrs. Peel’s old site.
If it weren’t I never would have been able to do this.
The monkey thing is cute but the story is hard to follow…. easier here
(it has drama!)
http://skylarkofvaleron.blogspot.com/2006/03/antarctica-now.html
This post is just brilliant, Michael!
Good Job Dave.
I was wondering what Dave was doing with the Antarctica stuff. I was completely stumped. I chalked it up to the vicodin.
Are you going to do Brick for me now, Dave?
Looks like Dave got a makeover.
Never looked better.
Good stuff.
Genius. Pure effing genius.
I heard Kerouac wrote “On the Road” while high on something or other. Now I think it might have been vicodin.
Well done!
I have to watch that movie someday. I feel all left out.
“Allright, It’s allright, it’s gonna be all right… never get offa sled… Hi walrus, hi walrus…”
Oh dear god, I lol’d.
DiT spoke truth to power in a way not seen since Lech Walesa hopped the fence in the Gdansk Shipyards.
Well played! My brother has told me he and his cohorts get a charge out of pwning guys who either weren’t in the military at all and claim they were or claim they did things they didn’t do. His favorite is when guys claim they were snipers. While wearing glasses. Another one is the guys who claim they are Airborne, yet never wear their jump boots or don’t blouse their pants the Airborne way.
I was a Chairborne Ranger.
I love the smell of an ace-o-lanche in the morning. You know, one time we had a blog shelled, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked on. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ blogger body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole blog. Smelled like – victory.
the setup scene, the attack on the point
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLRj5erjhP8
See if you can spot R. Lee Ermy.
And Kilgore’s famous scene
Brewfan — I could get into the Chairborne Rangers, so I went Chair Assault at Campbell…
I was in the La-z-boy brigade. (stealth division)
Yeah, R. Lee is the pilot who says “spotted a large weapon down below, gonna check it out.” I saw Full Metal Jacket before I ever saw Apocalypse…so I recognized him the first time I saw the movie.
Outstanding!
brilliant
I qualified as ‘Expert’ with the M28 Sharpener, Pencil, 1 each. They nicknamed me ‘Killer’.
Damn. That is some brilliant writing.
[...] Apocalypse Snow “Proud Liberal Vet” was a famously obnoxious commenter at Ace of Spades HQ, and a fraudulent veteran to […] [...]
it’s a great post !!!
keep it up !! l want to read more of your posts..