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The Compliment Thread April 13, 2007

Posted by skinbad in Women Ranting.
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Lauraw seems to be itching to start an IB flame thread which would be reminiscent of Sandy Berger mentioning how uncomfortable it is too watch your aging parents trying to shake their booties or use “hip” talk.

So. I’m all about the love today. Compliment your fellow IBers (be they “commenters” or commenters). The only rule I’m stating is you have to take it. Take it like the pussy you are. You can’t say “stop it, you’re embarrassing me.” If you want to respond, all you can do is say “thanks.”

This could very well be the lamest thread in the history of blogdom. But, if you participate, you can probably make Lauraw do that throw up in her mouth thingy. If steve_in_hb happens by, we can probably cause him to run to his drain to unload a gutfull of spicy jumbalaya. If we never hear from him again, it’s probably because his gold chain got caught in the disposal.

I’ll go first:

Retired Geezer, you are too damn hip for your own good. You’re funny and have a kind heart and we wouldn’t have this little watering hole if it wasn’t for you. Thanks.

UPDATE:

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Comments»

1. HayZeus - April 13, 2007

Awww, a compliment thread. How sweet! I love you all! :D

2. BrewFan - April 13, 2007

Michael,




Nevermind.

3. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Skinbad, your personal hygene is … tolerable.

4. harrison - April 13, 2007

All of you folks live in such faraway places. It makes me happy for you.

5. compos mentis - April 13, 2007

lw, you are have such a wonderful hump. And it’s tooth is a lovely shade of yellow.

6. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

What?

Light-hearted lame flames are our way of saying “I like you”. You want me to come right out and say it?

That’s gay. In a totally gay way.

Gay
gay
gay

7. geoff - April 13, 2007

lauraw, your house smells like hot dirt.

8. compos mentis - April 13, 2007

Dave in Texas calling something gay is like Don Imus telling somebody to get a job.

9. mesablue - April 13, 2007

DIT,

I’d pee in your pool any day.

10. geoff - April 13, 2007

This could very well be the lamest thread in the history of blogdom.

Add a picture of a cat and I think you’ll have it locked.

___________________________________________

–DONE! Thanks for the suggestion Geoff, Skinbad–

11. BrewFan - April 13, 2007

Ok, I thought of something.

Michael,

Mrs. Michael is nice.

12. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

I’ll bet mesa washes his hands in the restroom, most of the time.

13. Michael - April 13, 2007

I always read Pupster’s blog because it’s . . . there.

14. geoff - April 13, 2007

You can always rely on Compos Mentis’s blog – it never changes.

15. kevlarchick - April 13, 2007

Skinny, you’re a sweetie. A darling.

All you boys are sweeties. Big, cuddly, soft, furry, warm teddy bears. Playful puppies in a panting dogpile. Cold wet noses and bad breath. Sloppy, clumsy kissers.

16. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

I am not sweet.

I am a sloppy clumsy kisser though

17. Moses - April 13, 2007

I am a sloppy clumsy kisser though

true dat.

18. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

I think you guys all have IQ’s of at least 70, and I wouldn’t even mind having you over for dinner sometime. It would have to be when the weather is warmer, however, because you all would have to eat outside on the deck. I just got new carpet in my dining room, you understand.
I hope you all like hot dogs!

19. mesablue - April 13, 2007

BrewFan smells like cheese……and sausage.

In Wisconsin that’s a high compliment.

20. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

DiT, your almost psychotic obsession with your tiny little pool and your tiny little blog is….well, cute, in a manly way, I guess.

21. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

And Nice Deb…Your choice of the word “Nice” as part of your web identity truly confirms the point that RWS(?) made a few weeks back about the current use of the term.

22. mesablue - April 13, 2007

I’d trust Michael to represent me in a jaywalking case.

23. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

KC, I really must complement you on your blog. The numerous and fascinating topics that you have posted on truly reflect what I can only imagine is your wonderfully interesting and truly sparkling personality.

24. Michael - April 13, 2007

I like to picture Laura on her knees, eagerly submitting to the task ahead, her face shining in anticipation, her mouth open, her eyes ablaze with excitement, leaning forward and reaching out . . . to pull weeds.

25. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Geezer makes being a spudbilly/spudneck look almost tolerable.

26. Michael - April 13, 2007

the point that RWS(?) made a few weeks back

I think that was Mrs. Peel.

27. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

I think that was Mrs. Peel.

hence the question mark. I was too lazy to check.

28. lauraw - April 13, 2007

In some cultures, it’s considered impolite NOT to projectile vomit on a host’s compliments thread.

29. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

I missed that. What did she say, exactly.

30. mesablue - April 13, 2007

When Ace is sleeping off his latest hobo massacre, Lauraw really adds to the high level we all expect from AoS with her wonderful posts about cats and monkeys.

And, she has a lovely lady hump — when it’s not oozing.

31. eddiebear - April 13, 2007

I liked the Batman Costume.

32. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Nice Deb has a nice mug.

http://www.slublog.com/faces.htm

33. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Wiserbud does not look entirely ugly…. when he has his breathing apparatus on.

34. lauraw - April 13, 2007

So, how’s this working out for ya, Skinny? Nice enough for ya in here? Is it everything you had hoped for?

lol

35. Michael - April 13, 2007

What did she say, exactly.

She said the original meaning of the word “nice” had been lost (as in, a “nice” distinction) and there was no adequate substitute for the term in the English language.

36. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

“She said the original meaning of the word “nice” had been lost (as in, a “nice” distinction) and there was no adequate substitute for the term in the English language.”

Ahhhhh, perfect.

37. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Tushar doesn’t scare me as much as most brown people. I might even let a few cows loose in his neighborhood so he feels more at home.

38. BrewFan - April 13, 2007

I admire the way that mesa metabolizes those antidepressants, what with being a FIB that lives in Michigan and all.

39. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Mesablue, if you do that, my neighbor will ask for goats. And the Korean dude down the road will ask for puppies…. It is a slippery slope.

40. mesablue - April 13, 2007

I use the DIT method of ingesting pharmaceuticals.

41. eddiebear - April 13, 2007

I liked when Laura turned the AoS logo pink. Though I think Sobek’s love of Goth music is ….

42. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Michael is……………….. articulate.

43. mesablue - April 13, 2007

BrewFan, all of us FIB’s want to express our thanks to Brett Favre for putting off retirement for yet another year.

44. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Eddiebear, I really admire the way you convert oxygen into carbon dioxide, so that it can be used by organisms whose existence serves a purpose on this earth.

45. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Mesa, I’m pretty sure the rapid depopulation of Michigan was never intended as a slight against you, personally.

46. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Tushar D, you know what I like about Indians? I like when they get in the kitchen and make me samosas. Mmmmm…

47. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Sobek, if you are ever in New Jersey, drop by. Samosas will be just the starters.

48. Michael - April 13, 2007

IB Factoid Of The Day: At the moment, there are 861,459 WordPress blogs, and “Apocalypse Snow” by Dave in Texas is the #8 post.

49. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Tushar D is….clean.

Well, clean-ish.

50. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Not everything Michael says makes me uncomfortable.

If wiserbud makes a comment on my obsessions, is that obsessive? Or envy? I confuse those sometimes.

Before I “compliment” KC, did you go buy that Glock? Just needed to know.

I have always admired eddiebear’s “Tricky Dick Pic”.

I believe lauraw is one of the better poets that hang out here.

Tushar’s “twins” made twins. Well, ok, the jury is still out. We could have identical, fraternal, or identical fraternal (did you know there was such a thing as IF? My two best buddies in high school were Identical – Fraternal).

I think Brewfan has aged nicely.

Nice Deb does not drink beer, but she can make one helluva convincing prop for a picture.

I love you too HZ.

And Bigfoot Lipstick is off on a beach somewhere, making her man order a drink with an umbrella in it, and tracking potential targets with her forefinger. Probably yelling “BANG BANG” and scaring people.

51. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Dave’s fondness for leather jackets helps keep the cow population under control, so I thank him for that.

52. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Dave, not envy. Trust me.

And please, feel free to stop by casa de wiser anytime you’re in the area. We have a pool and a pond.

Pond would be good for you.

53. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

When Dave in Texas gets his speech slurry, his thoughts incoherent, and his balance dodgy…… Vocodin Martini calms him down.

BTW, they are not identical. Don’t know the genders yet. Hoping for a boy and a girl.

54. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

As far as I remember, Lauraw can, in no way, be considered “nappy-headed.”

55. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

>>As far as I remember, Lauraw can, in no way, be considered “nappy-headed.”

She is Happy-headed though.

56. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Wiserbud, compared to Don Imus you are a reasonably attractive and normal-looking person. And I mean that, big guy.

57. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

ya know, sobek, for a fat chick, you don’t sweat so much

58. carinrose - April 13, 2007

Although I only infrequently visit IB, every time it … (come back later and fill in something nice.)

I mean that.

59. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Wiser, I’ve been meaning to compliment you on your typing and grammar skills. I had no idea you helper monkeys could be trained so well.

60. lauraw - April 13, 2007

You people make me so damn proud.

*poking skinbad with a sharp stick and laughing merrily*

61. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Lauraw, about that stick — don’t you remember you’re not supposed to handle anything sharper than “safe” scissors? I only remind you because I care.

Although I must say, your ability to grasp objects with you prehensile tail is simply amazing.

62. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Sobek, I understand that you have recently moved to a larger home. Are you concerned that Costco is eventually going to want their carriage back or do you feel that you have defiled it enough to make that a moot point?

63. lauraw - April 13, 2007

I’ve never seen a grocery cart with spinners before.

64. BrewFan - April 13, 2007

I admire how lauraw and her hubby work through family issues:

lauraw: “You spend too much money on beer”

Mr. lauraw: “What about that $100 you spent on makeup yesterday?”

lauraw: “I bought those cosmetics so I can look pretty for you”

Mr. lauraw: “That’s what the beer is for.”

65. lauraw - April 13, 2007

Not enough beer in the world, Brewfan.

And my makeup comes in a drywall bucket with a complimentary trowel taped to the side.

CVS makes me go to the back door to get it.

66. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Wiserbud, your concern for my domicile means a lot, coming from you. After all, the way you’ve decorated your dumpster in the alley between the Arby’s and the gay strip club just screams “subdued elegance.”

67. Sobek - April 13, 2007

“And my makeup comes in a drywall bucket with a complimentary trowel taped to the side.”

There’s another thing I admire about you, Lauraw. Thrift.

68. skinbad - April 13, 2007

It is what it is. There’s a lot of love in the room. I’m content.

69. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Nice, huh? You should be here on those rare occasions when I’m able to tap into an unsecured power outlet! That really gets the rats a-jumpin’!

By the way, congratulations on the success of your recent surgery! Do you miss it yet?

70. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

wiserbud’s moniker reminds me of the one truly wealthy relative I have, my momma’s baby brother, who owns two Bud distributorships in Kentucky and Illinois.

Who hasn’t put me in the will, as far as I know, but I’ve been kissing his ass for 40 years.

Not his daughters though. I don’t care what they say either, they’re crazy. Don’t listen to them.

lauraw, you are not allowed to be self-deprecating in a “compliment” thread. That’s our job. Take your medicine and feel a little better so we can kick you some more.

71. carin - April 13, 2007

I didn’t realize that a temporary blog was attached to my sig (carinrose). So, I thank you all for making me realize that I was an idiot, commenting under the wrong “name.”

Again, you guys are … (fill in later)

72. carin - April 13, 2007

And, just because Mesablue is an attractive man who lives in Gaydale, and has posted pictures of a male strip club on his blog, I have only occasionally wondered about his heterosexuality.

73. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

carin,

Your mad computer skillz seem only to be exceeded by the amazing control you have attained over your gag reflex. You must be so proud!

74. composmentis - April 13, 2007

I love all you people. I just wish the short bus could get you here sooner in the mornings.

75. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Apparently Beer distributorships is big money. Univ of Maryland’s Business school is called “Robert H Smith School of Business”. This Robert H Smith is a UMD alumnus, and is the largest (or maybe sole) importer of Heineken.

76. carin - April 13, 2007

No, wiserbud, my husband is proud.

77. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

And Bud beer distributorships are the golden egg. Bud owns the US market, better than 70% share. Miller second at 18, everybody else after that. It ain’t even close.

I hate Budweiser, by the way.

But I love you uncle Rip!!

78. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

Wow….so much love…fighting tears, here people.

79. Sobek - April 13, 2007

“This Robert H Smith is a UMD alumnus, and is the largest (or maybe sole) importer of Heineken.”

The lead singer for the Cure is a beer importer? Huh.

80. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

And that kitten?!!! I’m dying! Toooo cute!

81. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Compos, I admire your ambition. The fact that you continue to strive for your dream of actually driving the short bus, as opposed to simply sweeping it out every evening as part of your “societal integration” program, is truly an inspiration to many of the regulars here.

82. skinbad - April 13, 2007

Doesn’t he sing “Pitchers of you”?

83. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

No, wiserbud, my husband is proud.

Is that what you call her? Good for you! Maintaining as least some small smidgen of femininity must be a very difficult chore for you, considering the not insiginificant amount of facial hair that you fight back every day.

84. Michael - April 13, 2007

I want to thank Carin for not being a ho with nappy hair who is touchy about it.

85. Russ from Winterset - April 13, 2007

You guys are all great. I’m positive that if I happened upon any of you lying on the side of the road with your clothing on fire, I’d take the time to pee on the fire to put it out. That’s how important y’all are to me.

86. composmentis - April 13, 2007

Dave, I know I’ve razzed you about it before, but I actually compliment you for being secure enough in your femininity to openly admit to enjoying paraffin treatments, pedicures, and routinely being plugged at both ends by truckers at several Interstate 10 rest stops. You’re ok in somebody’s book.

87. composmentis - April 13, 2007

Russ, don’t be surprised to find wiserbud on fire, lying in your drive way just so you’ll piss on him.

88. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Carin, I’m proud to know (sort of) the last non-brown person who is still a resident of the City of Detroit.

It must be nice to know that on a cold October night, you can warm yourself by the flames of your neighbor’s burning home.

89. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Ooooh, compos, you scamp. I couldn’t ever let Russ take your place.

90. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

And that kitten?!!! I’m dying! Toooo cute!

{cough}…ahem…{cough}… Deb? That’s a picture of Bart. Just thought you should know.

Cute little mutant though, isn’t he?

91. mesablue - April 13, 2007

I want to thank Bart for making all of us look so much better in comparison.

92. lauraw - April 13, 2007
93. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

Wiserbud, you don’t fool me. That is simply an adorable kitten. This is Bart:

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b299/aaronmcintire/dumbass.jpg

94. lauraw - April 13, 2007
95. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

I wonder if Bart’s ears are burning.

96. Bosk - April 13, 2007

It’s neat that you guys and gals post pics of yourselfs so I can put the names to faces…and it reminds me why I don’t look up at the check out line at the grocery store.

97. Bosk - April 13, 2007

yourselfs….hahahaha that’s worth a little burn right there.

98. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

He’s probably too busy cleaning himself on the back of laura’s couch to have noticed.

99. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Correction. Robert H Smith is not the importer of Heineken. A guy named “Van Munching” is the importer, and UMD has named a building Van Munching Hall.

100. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

it reminds me why I don’t look up at the check out line at the grocery store. – Bosk

Yeah, probably better to stick to bagging those groceries correctly, which can get pretty complicated if you aren’t paying attention, right Bosk? But you seem to be coming along very nicely. Good for you!

101. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Every Saturday evening at 9:30 pm, compos goes to the closest grocery store to buy a package of diapers, and a twelve-pack of Miller Lite.

Do not judge compos.

Accommodate him.

102. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Every Saturday evening at 9:30 pm, compos goes to the closest grocery store to buy a package of diapers, and a twelve-pack of Miller Lite.

It’s a habit he picked up in college, long before he acquired that mail-order bride from Vietnam.

DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE HIM!”

103. Bosk - April 13, 2007

Hey I got the paper or plastic thing down pat!

104. eddiebear - April 13, 2007

Dave:

I applaud your willingness to fight the hegemony of A-B. I am a traitor in my hometown for saying this, but I hate A-B products. They taste bad and induce headaches too easily. Domestically, I am a fan of a local microbrew named Schlafly Bottleworks. I usually avoid the topic by downing Churchill Martinis or my dad’s stash of Maker’s Mark.

Oh, and Sobek, I appreciate your compliment to me for doing whatever it is I do well.

105. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Ofcourse. Diapers and beer have a close relationship

106. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

“DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE HIM!”

After his experience at that soccer game, who can blame him for wearing diapers. I sure don’t.

107. eddiebear - April 13, 2007

Soccer is lame.

108. geoff - April 13, 2007

Looking at Compos Mentis makes me feel handsome. …and continent.

Thanks, CM!

109. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Hey I got the paper or plastic thing down pat!

Your handlers must be so proud of you!

110. A. Weasel - April 13, 2007

Lauraw,
I dont’ care what others may say, real men (like myself) have always enjoyed your pu…..kitten photos.

111. Bosk - April 13, 2007

I’m just not good at this anti-compliment thing. What you all write is pretty damn funny and it’s a good way to spend friday at work.

I’ve got nothing except…. that really is a cute cat and I generally don’t like cats.

112. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

eddiebear, I don’t wish them ill. Just not a fan of their products, for reasons you mentioned.

Anybody here love Rolling Rock? Formerly brewed in Latrobe PA (I think)?

AB bought the brand last year.

Oh they bought the brewery. And closed it.

All they wanted was the brand. It is now filled with Budweiser.

Enjoy!

113. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Drudge is reporting that a bird flew into VP Cheney’s Jet engine. The report says no one was hurt. I doubt the bird agrees.

114. A. Weasel - April 13, 2007

“Oh they bought the brewery. And closed it.”

One of my favorite beers, lost forever to the evil Busch.

115. Bosk - April 13, 2007

Tushar…wait till that report hits huffpo. I bet more than just the bird will be agreeing.

116. geoff - April 13, 2007

Drudge is reporting that a bird flew into VP Cheney’s Jet engine.

Great, now the libs will say that Cheney ran over a bird.

Re lost beers: Coors bought the Caffrey’s plant in Ireland and converted it to making Coors for Europe. Bastidges.

117. compos mentis - April 13, 2007

geoff, I love you. It’s the kind of love that says “Dammit. Who cares if we’re first cousins and we want to have fourteen children.” It’s a love akin to a large jar of creamy peanut butter and an affectionate rottweiler. Oh you, with the wonderful first name that if you added a ‘t ” it would spell get off. How you inspire me!

118. Enas Yorl - April 13, 2007

Cloaking Device disengaged
I’ve lurked on bigger blogs, but never a better one. Well done IB!
Cloaking Device engaged

119. geoff - April 13, 2007

Oh you, with the wonderful first name that if you added a ‘t ” it would spell get off.

I don’t think we should be comparing what happens when we at a “t” to our first name.

120. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Enas, you keep it up with the Star Trek references, and I’m positive that one of these days a live, human female will think it’s cute. Reach for that rainbow!

121. Dave in Texas - April 13, 2007

*sniff*

I detect a tachyon trail. I believe Enas might have been “crop-dusting” just now.

122. Live Human Females - April 13, 2007

STFU, Sobek.

123. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

Oh hi, Compos Mentis, that reminds me….
if you guys decide to come over for dinner….um….you’ll have to use the downstairs bathroom, as we just had the one upstairs remodeled. I hope you don’t mind spiders.

And Compos, ummm….*thinking*…..I think we’ll just set something up outside for you.

124. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

menttis?

125. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Gee, Deb, that was real nice of you to invite those guys over for dinner. Guess your having a little trouble convincing the men in your hometown that, this time, you really mean “dinner,” huh?

126. Enas Yorl - April 13, 2007

Well one did, once. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

127. Barb the Evil Genius - April 13, 2007

I would make a giant tuna casserole for all of you.

128. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Barb, as long as we’re complimenting one another, I’d like to point out that I really respect your courage for having a first name that is synonymous with the poisoned spike on a bee’s butt.

129. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

Oh, whatever, Wiserbud, just let me know what hot dog brand you prefer, Always Save, Value Rite, or should I splurge on some Corn Kings?

I’m more than happy to pay the extra dime a package for you guys.

130. PattyAnn - April 13, 2007

Tushar, always amazes me with his shinola knowlege of things such as Van Munching Hall.

131. composmentis - April 13, 2007

Nice Deb knows her weiners.

132. PattyAnn - April 13, 2007

I’m also impressed that RG can climb aboard a horse at his age.

133. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Very kind of you to make the offer, Deb, but I prefer tacos. Or clams.

You can keep the weiners for yourself. And geoff.

134. PattyAnn - April 13, 2007

wiserbud, you are very, very wily.

135. PattyAnn - April 13, 2007

Crap! I meant to save the shinola reference for composmentis. Now I don’t have anything nice to say about him

136. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Now I don’t have anything nice to say about him

Few people do, sweetie. Few people do.

137. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Since I am so nice and complimentary I will share this public service announcement for those of you close to my neck of the woods who like taking pictures of kids in bluebonnets.

Be careful.

http://daveintexas.wordpress.com/2007/04/13/buttprints-in-the-bluebonnets/

138. eddiebear - April 13, 2007

Nice Deb:

What about Hunter, John Morrell or Nathan’s?

139. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Dave, I commend you on your incredible blog-whoring skills. You take that particular concept to an art form, my friend!

140. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Hey, I’m just lookin out for the folks, that’s all.

heh

141. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

What about Hunter, John Morrell or Nathan’s?

Yeah well, I think for this particular group I shouldn’t have to splurge on the “high end” stuff. I don’t personally go for ostentatious displays of luxury, anyway.

142. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

DIT is a nappy haired blog ho.

143. eddiebear - April 13, 2007

In that case, I think Save-A-Lot has some expired hot dogs that might work.

Or, my friend’s older brother worked at Busch Stadium 2 back in the 1980s. He said that when the Football Cardinals would have a home game and the baseball Cardinals would have a home game the next day, many of the hot dogs served at the baseball game were reheated leftovers from the day before. Even after the Big Red left, the same tradition continued with Cardinals baseball games.
That’s why I never eat at any sports stadium.

144. Nice Deb - April 13, 2007

What’s wrong with left over hot dogs?

145. eddiebear - April 13, 2007

Not at $4.50 (at least) a pop.

146. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Back when our cafeteria was in service, one day chili dogs were the main course. Everybody loves chili dogs, cept these dogs had obviously been left on the loading dock a little too long.

Only it wasn’t obvious. The smell of the chili hid the smell of the dogs, and you had to take a few bites before the red flags went up.

So naturally, me and the first two guys who figured this out, stopped eating them, but as our friends joined us, we’d wait until they got a good two or three bites into the meal before we asked them “do those taste ok to you”?

Their subsconscious brains had already set a trip wire, so when we asked the question out loud immediately they’d say “heeeey” and start sniffing. Well, one sniff of the hot dog and you could tell.

But of course being guys, we just had one more person in on the gig. I’ll bet we had ten guys at the table before we were done with that.

Good times, good times.

147. Michael - April 13, 2007

I would make a giant tuna casserole for all of you.

Someone finally had to say something nasty.

148. lauraw - April 13, 2007
149. sandy burger - April 13, 2007

LauraW is a pleasant person, when she’s in a good mood.

150. sandy burger - April 13, 2007

Dave doesn’t make Texans look any worse than they already did.

151. skinbad - April 13, 2007

I feel terrible when I’m away from all of you. It reminds me a great deal of being here.

152. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

Dear Lord, Lauraw, was that a cat or a bat?

153. sandy burger - April 13, 2007

Honestly, you guys are a great bunch. If this were the real world, I wouldn’t even be all that ashamed to admit that I knew most of you.

154. sandy burger - April 13, 2007

Actually, to be honest, I would love to meet you all in person, provided somebody promised to protect me from Bart.

Y’all crack me up. (

155. A. Weasel - April 13, 2007

Is there such a thing as protection from Bart?

156. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Sandy, if this weren’t a compliments thread I’d warn you to be wary of BrewFan and the whole orcible-fay ay-gay odomy-say.

But since it is, I’ll just point out that one thing I really like about Brewfie is that at least he isn’t a damn dirty spudder.

157. sandy burger - April 13, 2007

Argh!!! Stupid HTML.

I was trying to point out that I was pulling a Hillary Clinton, using Red State vernacular (y’all) to try to fit in here.

Anyhow, before the HTML ate it, I also mentioned that I really do enjoy this site; I like the mix of very different but universally good-natured folks, I like the dorky humor, I like the randomness, and of course I love the classy ladies. Also, I think it speaks volumes of you all that you’re so willing to selflessly and tirelessly keep Michael company; Mrs. Michael deeply appreciates it, as do numerous local social service workers.

158. Carin - April 13, 2007

It’s the commenters here that keep me coming back whenever Ace’s site is down all the time.

159. Sobek - April 13, 2007

Well Sandy, if you want to meet the Bystanders, we could throw a party. Anyone want to break into Lipstick’s house for a soiree?

160. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Actually, to be honest, I would love to meet you all in person

The knock on your door is WickedPinto taking you up on the invitation.

Don’t worry, he usually only stays for about six months.

161. A. Weasel - April 13, 2007

Or until the bar is trashed.

162. Carin - April 13, 2007

Is it just me, or is Ace’s down AGAIN?

163. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Just you.

164. BrewFan - April 13, 2007

Carin,

Its you.

165. BrewFan - April 13, 2007

Sandy,

Someday you’ll have to come up here to Wisconsin and I’ll show you the crawlspace under my house.

166. Michael - April 13, 2007

*Heh. I forgot that Lipstick is away on her honeymoon. She can’t kill me.*

Lipstick looks pretty good for a woman her age.

No, Lipstick, the dress does not make your ass look fat.

Lipstick has lovely hair — when the roots aren’t showing.

I think it’s romantic that Lipstick met Mr. LS when he picked her up at a blackjack table. I give Mr. LS high marks for recognizing a woman who is desperate very special.

167. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

You guys make me smile.

168. Michael - April 13, 2007

Actually, to be honest, I would love to meet you all in person.

If you’re lonely, skinbad can have a missionary on your porch in fifteen minutes.

169. A. Weasel - April 13, 2007

Carin, it’s not just you.

170. PattyAnn - April 13, 2007

(Is Lipstick really on her honeymoon?)

171. Michael - April 13, 2007

I want to compliment A. Weasel for being the turd who spoils a joke honest.

172. A. Weasel - April 13, 2007

Why thank you. Michael

173. Pupster - April 13, 2007

“…always read Pupster’s blog”-Michael

Michael, that’s the nicest thing you’ve written about me. Ever.

I think your one of the best main page commenter’s on this blog. Top 10, easily.

174. A. Weasel - April 13, 2007

Becoming an honest turd is one of my newfound obsessions.

175. Michael - April 13, 2007

(Is Lipstick really on her honeymoon?)

Yes. I would also like to compliment you for your creative use of parentheses for no frickin’ reason at all.

176. sandy burger - April 13, 2007

(Is Lipstick really on her honeymoon?)

Yes.

Does Mr. Lipstick know?

177. Michael - April 13, 2007

Thanks, Pupster. I also wanted to compliment you on your excellent selection of three vehicles that are finalists for your new car. It’s guys like you in our home town that make me feel like hot stuff in my Ford Explorer.

178. jayne - April 13, 2007

I know this is supposed to be for snarky compliments, but when I got home from a really long day and read all of these funny comments, I was/am really glad that this site is here and that all of you clever and funny people comment here. Thank you for for making me laugh, and I also want to thank you all for being my imaginary friends who live in the computer.
Also, only Skinbad could start a flame war that ended up sweet and funny.

179. Michael - April 13, 2007

I want to compliment Jane for spelling her name like a stripper when she’s online.

180. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

It’s spelled like a space cowboy renegade smuggler!

181. Mrs. Peel - April 13, 2007

I’d like to give a shoutout to the doofus in the white Tundra. His skillful cutoff of my illustrious self cleverly distracted me from the fact that it took me 45 minutes to travel 10 miles.

*twitch*

182. Tundra Driver - April 13, 2007

Don’t mention it.

183. Pupster - April 13, 2007

I considered an Explorer Michael, but since Columbus has one of the highest per-capita % of homosexuals outside of San Francisco, Explorers and rainbow flags are scarce and in high demand.

(Some of my best friends…NTTAWWT…etc.)

184. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Whens spudder gonna start posting again?

185. geoff - April 13, 2007

Actually, to be honest, I would love to meet you all in person, provided somebody promised to protect me from Bart.

Still need to have that convention in Las Vegas. Or maybe in TX or OH, since so many people come from those parts.

186. Michael - April 13, 2007

His skillful cutoff of my illustrious self cleverly distracted me from the fact that it took me 45 minutes to travel 10 miles.

You would get more respect in traffic if you had not sold the Jeep.

187. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

I think she typoed geoff. She meant “prison.”

Which would be totaly convenient for me.

188. PattyAnn - April 13, 2007

I think Mrs. Michael wears plaid very well. Tasteful even.

189. kevlarchick - April 13, 2007

Michael I think you should have an IB gathering at your palatial estate this summer.

190. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Daves got the pool and the tempur-pedic.

Though I think the bed is off limits.

191. kevlarchick - April 13, 2007

I will cook up some vittles and bring a cooler of beer.

192. Mrs. Peel - April 13, 2007

Michael, like your hero, you look simply stunning in tights. The kind of stunning that draws a lady’s unbelieving gaze and sends a child crying to its momma.

193. Pupster - April 13, 2007

WP,
I think it’s great that you started posting again. That District Attorney obviously has an ax to grind, and I’m confident you’ll be entirely vindicated by a jury of your peers, should one ever be convened.

I’m sure your defense attorneys will be able to use the sudden disappearance of all 5 eyewitnesses to your advantage. Stay Strong!

194. Michael - April 13, 2007

IB Factoid Of The Day: As measured by WordPress, our best traffic day ever was 5,288 hits. That happened when Ace and WordPress linked the “KFC Advertises To Extraterrestrials” post.

We’re currently at 4,982 hits today, according to WordPress. Once again, we’ve got links from Ace and the WordPress “Top Posts” list, thanks to Dave.

A WordPress “day” is based on GMT, so it will be over in one hour and eighteen minutes.

195. The British Empire - April 13, 2007

A WordPress “day” is based on GMT

That’s right. Who’s the boss?

196. Pupster - April 13, 2007

I call the couch.

(Sorry Pony.)

197. geoff - April 13, 2007

Speaking of how good Michael looks, perhaps its time to relink this completely, thoroughly, unretouched photo.

198. The Couch - April 13, 2007

GET HIM OFF OF ME!!!

199. Russ from Winterset - April 13, 2007

Iowa’s sort of a central location from anywhere. We’ve got enough Lutherans that an extra tuna casserole or two won’t be noticed, but keeping the neighbors from staring at the hairless dude & the hunchback might take some creativity. Plus, we have no fire ants. That’s always a good thing. Of course, you’ll all have to stay in the pool house, which is really a storage shed……………….OK, it’s a big appliance box. It’s not too bad as long as it’s not raining, and I’m planning on running cable out there this summer. So you’ve got THAT going for you…which is nice….I think.

200. Michael - April 13, 2007

I would like to compliment Geoff for cleverly posting that picture on a thread where I can’t say how much I hate him.

201. Russ from Winterset - April 13, 2007

Lauraw, I’m so sorry for using the word “hunchback” earlier. I should have used the more PC term “Posture Challenged” instead. Can you ever forgive me?

202. skinbad - April 13, 2007

I know you’ve got a big dog house with heat.

Michael, a lot of people have felt like “hot stuff” in Ford Explorers. Usually right before they go under from smoke inhalation.

203. Russ from Winterset - April 13, 2007

Uhm, yeah…about the doghouse. Bandit may occasionally have the urge to eat his own poop, but he’s kind of particular about who rooms with him, ya know? I don’t have a problem with y’all crashing there, you understand, but after all, it’s Bandit’s crib now.

204. geoff - April 13, 2007

Iowa’s very pretty in a “corn stalks aligned in neat little rows” kind of way.

I like the way they break it up once in a while with more corn stalks.

205. geoff - April 13, 2007

I would like to compliment Geoff for cleverly posting that picture on a thread where I can’t say how much I hate him.

Was *reeely* wishing WordPress would let us put images in comments.

206. jayne - April 13, 2007

We could all meet in Michigan. Since Michigan lost more residents last year than any other state, we will just about have the whole state to ourselves.

207. Pupster - April 13, 2007

Michigan?

Why not Beirut?

Oops, sorry…

*tries to think of something complimentary*

I hear that Michigan State Troopers are easy to bribe, so…yeah, sounds great!

208. Michael - April 13, 2007

Michael I think you should have an IB gathering at your palatial estate this summer.

No problem. As soon as the kitchen/foyer/bar/hallway/paint-the entire-frickin’-interior renovation project is over, we’re good to go. Should be done by the end of May.

(Originally, it was just the kitchen. This is an example of what is called “scope creep” in the parlance of project management.)

We just need some bucks to fund this bash. Food is not a problem, but the alcohol and Vicodin are going to be expensive.

If memory serves, the necessary funds were going to come from the proceeds of the IB Tee Shirt Sale-A-Thon™ that Geezer volunteered to organize, which is sure to be a huge commercial success. I figure we can substantially boost our profit margin if we stiff Laura for the shipping.

I would like to compliment Geezer for contriving to come up with a lame horse or a sprinkler repair job or something every time he might get started on the IB Tee Shirt Sale-A-Thon™.

209. mesablue - April 13, 2007

I want to compliment Jane for spelling her name like a stripper when she’s online.

Or a very large man who spends an inordinate amount of time in his bunk.

The Man they call Jayne!

Oh, He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain’t hard to explain.
The hero of Canton
the man they call Jayne.

Our Jayne saw the spudders’ backs breakin’.
He saw the spudders’ lament.
And he saw the Magistrate takin’
every dollar and leavin’ five cents.
So he said: “You can’t do that to my people.”
said “You can’t crush them under your heel.”
So Jayne strapped on his hat
and in 5 seconds flat
stole everythin’ Boss Higgins had to steal.

Oh, He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain’t hard to explain.
The hero of Canton
the man they call Jayne.

Now here is what separates heroes
from common folk like you and I.
The man they call Jayne
he turned ’round his plane
and let that money hit sky.

He dropped it onto our houses
he dropped it into our yards.
The man they called Jayne
he stole away our pain
and headed out for the stars!

(Here we go!)

He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain’t hard to explain.
The hero of Canton
the man they call Jayne…

Heh.

The last season of Stargate starts tonight. Woo hoo!

210. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Oh yes!

211. geoff - April 13, 2007

Maybe we need one of those rolling party things, where we travel cross country picking up folk and end up in Washington DC to protest something. Or maybe we could go protest somewhere nice like Cancun or Maui.

212. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Are they gonna kill off atlantis too?

213. Michael - April 13, 2007

IB Factoid Of The Day: I predict that today (based on a GMT day ending shortly) we will beat our previous all-time high of 5,288 hits as measured by WordPress, based on current traffic volumes.

Let’s give some credit to the people googling for pigs. Every day, a bunch of them show up here.

Here’s our search engine hits so far today:

pigs 103
innocent bystanders 70
cell phone 20
genital herpes 15
auburn hair 11
crickets 10
korean girls 9
makin’ bacon 5
Pigs 5
big penises 5

214. Sobek - April 13, 2007

I think we need to go to Rome to protest. I’m sure there’s all kinds of injustice that needs protestin’ in Rome. Also, Florence and the Amalfi coast.

215. geoff - April 13, 2007

We could probably recruit some guys from the pubs in the UK. I volunteer to go give it a try. Um…if I’m late to the protest, just get started without me, kay?

216. Bosk - April 13, 2007

Pupster…funny you should compare Michigan with Beruit.
My wife is from there.Many years ago while doing the usual in-law visit we decided to hit Cedar Point in Ohio.
Driving through Detroit I commented to all in the car how, with all the high rises and their plywooded up windows how it reminded me of Beruit.
I like the U.P. but you couldn’t pay me enough to live in the south of MI.
What a hell hole.

217. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Anyone in dallas?

218. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

I just through up in my mouth a little bit.

219. Bosk - April 13, 2007

Yeah I’m here lurking.

Not.a.good.flamer.

220. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Though I think the bed is off limits

Just don’t fart in it. Otherwise, no prob.

There’s something wrong with us! Something very, very wrong with us! Something seriously wrong with us!

221. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Thanks dave, so Check, off limits.

222. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

No problem. As soon as the kitchen/foyer/bar/hallway/paint-the entire-frickin’-interior renovation project is over, we’re good to go. Should be done by the end of May.

I’ve always wanted to ask her what it’s like to marry a man so much older than herself.

Just out of curiosity.

223. Helen Thomas - April 13, 2007

Geoff,
Bravo on the photo-shop skills.

Did you, DinT and Enas get those glamor photo’s I sent you on St. Patrick’s Day?

Call me.

224. Michael - April 13, 2007

the Amalfi coast.

Good choice. Let’s just avoid Portofino — it’s too expensive. I suggest Santa Marghereta, which is just as nice.

225. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Isn’t there an ice cream brand called portofino? or is it portafina?

mmmmm, that was good ice cream. “white chocolate divinity” indeed.

226. Retired Geezer - April 13, 2007

Holy Crap!
I wander away from Camp Geezer for a few hours and come back to a 200 comment thread!

Uh, here goes:

mesablue is such a gentleman he gets *out* of the shower to take a leak.

Usually.

227. Mrs. Peel - April 13, 2007

I vote for Castiglion Fiorentino.

(so it’s in Tuscany and not on the coast. it’s still well within range of both Rome and Florence. and it’s GORGEOUS.)

I think it’s awesome that you guys have so much time for each other. I, unfortunately, am off to spend my Friday evening with my (hot) boyfriend. It’s annoying how these commitments come up every single weekend.

228. John Denver - April 13, 2007

geoff has excellent taste in music

229. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Geezer was once getting a helicopter ride with his son. Geezer started feeling cold, and tried to switch off the ceiling fan. Good thing Brian spotted that in time.

230. Retired Geezer - April 13, 2007

T-shirt Sale-a-thon?
Heck I still need to write up the post for the Official Innocent Bystanders Bug.
Kevlar Chick nominated the Dung Beetle and it beat out Michael’s ghey Firefly.

231. mesablue - April 13, 2007

WP,

Neapolitan ice cream?

Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream in one carton?

There is a portofino cigar. How about some cigar flavored ice cream?

232. Michael - April 13, 2007

228. John Denver – April 13, 2007[Edit]

geoff has excellent taste in music

That was almost as vicious as Deb threatening us with a tuna casserole.

233. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

I mean name brand mesablue, was like 9 bucks for a quart, but I was babying one of my friends wife while she was sick and he was visiting her parents. Long story, won’t bother telling it, but basicaly I treated her like a baby for about 3 days, and then when she got better I got her the ice cream as a treat before she flew home to spend time with her husband and her family.

The name brand I think was portafina.

234. Michael - April 13, 2007

I’ve always wanted to ask her what it’s like to marry a man so much older than herself.

Mrs. Michael and I were both born in 1952.

She just looks a lot younger than me.

235. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

WickedPinto, someone left you alone with his wife? Hey, weirder things have happened.

236. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Depending on the date of the batman picture, (is that you? I get so confused about this shit sometimes?) you are holding up quite well.

237. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

In a nightclub I’m a T-Rex. In a proper environment, I’m a monk.

238. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Or rather WAS a T-Rex, though I don’t think thats a good comparisson. but the approximate comparisson works.

239. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Still was the best damn Ice-cream I ever had. I’m not a sweets kinda guy, it’s purely mood and crave based, so I eat sweets maybe once a month. But DAMN that was nummy stuff.

240. Michael - April 13, 2007

Depending on the date of the batman picture, (is that you? I get so confused about this shit sometimes?) you are holding up quite well.

Yup, that’s actually me. The pic was taken by Mrs. Michael this year.

I did not have time to properly adjust the ailerons on my arms, and display my triangular ears (which do not look like tick ears or clarinets) because I was on my way to an urgent crime-fighting mission.

241. Barb the Evil Genius - April 13, 2007

That was almost as vicious as Deb threatening us with a tuna casserole.

Hey, that was me threatening with the tuna casserole, dude. I think Deb had a thing for the wieners.

242. Michael - April 13, 2007

Sorry, Barb. I should have known that only a Lutheran would sink that low.

243. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

He’s ALIVE!

244. Michael - April 13, 2007

Right now, we’re at 5,156 hits for the WordPress “day” (based on GMT) which closes in a a few minutes.

Our record is 5,288.

It’s going to be close.

245. Michael - April 13, 2007

BTW, WordPress does not count my hits, so I can’t do anything about this.

246. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Tuna casserole.

WMDs from Ohio.

Next you’ll be flingin the lutefisk.

Whatever the hell that is.

*shudder*

247. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Have Lauraw post a kitten with a link to this post at AoS. That’ll get at least ten hits.

248. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

DiT, I think has something to do with the bed being off limits.

249. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Incidentimundo, we have tornado watches and stuff.

I blame SUVs

250. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

You could have done that mesa, but you’ve blog whored so much in the recent months that they aren’t trusted.

For some reason everyone thinks my links lead to pron, so I have to stand down for a while.

Wiser’s good at the wily relay, and PattyAnn is in training, she could use the experience.

251. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Touchdowns DiT? or is it still just the major watches?

252. PattyAnn - April 13, 2007

Dallas here. Dave is so considerate he pushed that tornado so it skirted us. 2 adults and 3 grandchildren under 8 yo in a 6×6 laundry room for an hour is no fun.

253. Michael - April 13, 2007

I remember the good old days. It was a big deal to push an AOSHQ comment thread over 100.

Dang, I feel old.

254. sandy burger - April 13, 2007

Well, have a nice weekend, internet weirdos.

255. mesablue - April 13, 2007

I was trying to figure out why I was getting a bunch of hits from AoS the other day and it turns out that Dave linked to this post:

http://moralauthority.wordpress.com/2007/04/02/who-loves-ya-baby/

I’ve gone from blog whore to blog pimp.

Dave, foshizzle my nizzle.

256. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Well that was pre-obsessive community based commenting michael.

I think I came in just as it started commenting, but I lurked a bit before, when there were a lot of tickles.

257. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Michael, it is dangerous for IB to run after page hits. If I am not mistaken, this is not a blog, just a watering hole for old friends, with a few nosy people like me poking their nose in here from time to time. Do you really want the attention of the hordes of retards who roam the huge wasteland of teh intertubes?

258. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Dave, foshizzle my nizzle.

Great! Now Snoop is gonna boycott IB, What would LauraW Do?

259. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

touchdowns dude. springtime in Tejas.

mesa, that was some funnay shit. especially the “James Bond” gun eye thing in the first vid.

God, I cannot believe Telly was considered a love doctah when I was 15.

I thought I was. But I couldn’t smoke unless I swiped dad’s Salems

And Salems sucked.

260. Michael - April 13, 2007

Well, we didn’t make the new record. We ended the WordPress GMT day at 5,259 hits, a little short of the 5,288 we needed.

That means that *my post* about “KFC Advertises To Extraterrestrials”
remains the all-time traffic star.

Hah!

Dave, you thought you could unseat me with your lame-ass “Apocalypse Snow” shit. Nice try, but no cigar.

261. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Michael seems like a very good winner.

262. Russ from Winterset - April 13, 2007

(DiT @ 15)

“Who lo..COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE HACK – Spit”

“Who love…COUGH HACK Oh My God these Salems are harsh COUGH WHEEZE”

“Who loves you COUGH baby?”

“Can I touch your funbags now?”

263. Michael - April 13, 2007

Michael, it is dangerous for IB to run after page hits. If I am not mistaken, this is not a blog, just a watering hole for old friends, with a few nosy people like me poking their nose in here from time to time.

That’s a very perceptive comment, Tushar.

Do you really want the attention of the hordes of retards who roam the huge wasteland of teh intertubes?

Tushar, your question deserves an honest answer.

The answer is — no. It’s bad enough that you showed up. This site can’t take a lot of scary brown people.

264. Tushar D - April 13, 2007

Fine! You won’t see my brown face again!

265. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

The answer is — no. It’s bad enough that you showed up. This site can’t take a lot of scary brown people.

LauraW is the resident Mullato.

(I’ve been waiting at least 2 weeks to use that line)

266. Michael - April 13, 2007

Seriously, Tushar, IB is a small site, by design, and it’s going to stay that way.

267. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

………………My life fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos. Ruined dreams. This wasted land. But most of all, I remember The Pool Builder. The man we called “Dave”. To understand who he was, you have to go back to another time. When the world was powered by the prescription painkillers. And the internet sprouted great cities of pipe and steel. Gone now, swept away. For reasons long forgotten, two mighty websites went to war and touched off a blaze which engulfed them all. Without traffic, they were nothing. They built a house of straw. The thundering machines sputtered and stopped. Their leaders talked and talked and talked. But nothing could stem the avalanche. Their world crumbled. The cities exploded. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men. On the interwebthingy it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs took over Balloon Juice & Garfield Ridge, ready to wage war for a tank of juice. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary men were battered and smashed. Men like Dave. The builder Dave. In the roar of a server, he lost everything. And became a shell of a man, a burnt out, desolate man, a man haunted by the demons of his past, a man who wandered out into the wasteland. And it was here, in this blighted place, that he learned to live again…

268. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Sweet!

Road Warrior right? or is it the closing of Thunderdome?

269. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

Wickedpinto: They kill us, we kill them! Kill them! Kill them! Kill! Kill!

The Sobek: Be still my dog of war. I understand your pain. We’ve all lost someone we love. But we do it my way! We do it my way. Fear is our ally. The commenters site will be ours. Then you shall have your revenge.

270. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

yeah, road warrior, wanted to be sure.

271. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

Sandy Berger: Greetings from The Sobek! The Lord Sobek! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!

272. The Comish (sic) - April 13, 2007

WP, I’m in Dallas.

And I think Dreyer’s Ice Cream has a high end brand called Portafino. (I stick with Blue Bell.)

OK, a compliment … hmmm, … Well, considering your personalities, I’d guess you’re all really good at dodging punches by now.

And Sobek, I wanted to compliment you on having the first recorded case of “Sympathetic Lactation” in medical history, compounded with that extra nipple on your belly. Wear that drippy shirt with pride, big guy.

273. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

The Pool Builder: I’m just here for the sammiches.

274. mesablue - April 13, 2007

compounded with that extra nipple on your belly

That’s for the puppy.

275. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

Retired Geezer: Ya have to come, sonny. This is where we’re going.
[Unfolds a multi-panel scenic postcard]

Paradise! Two thousand miles from here. Fresh water. Plenty of sunshine. Nothing to do but breed! And ride horseys! And go swimming! And shooting! And eat sammiches all day long!
[Gives Dave a knowing wink]

276. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

rightwingsparkle: Look, we had a deal. I show you the sammiches, and you see things MY way, right?

Dave: The arrangement was I wouldn’t totally rule out voting for McCain in the primary.

rightwingsparkle: After all I’ve done for you…

[Dave gives RWS a stern look]

Dave: I reckon you got a bargain, didn’t you?

277. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Since Winter mentioned “sammiches” twice, I have thought a number of times that I wanted to save up, take a loan and open a restaraunt (my spelling eats shit like bandit, only more often) called “Soup and Sammich” Everything on the menu consists of a small bowl of soup and a sammich, just enough to get you through the rest of the day.

then I realized that I really really really like breakfast meals and steak, which kinda killed that dream, but I don’t think it would be a bad idea for high volume area.

278. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

before I catch shit for business model, we have a place called “the bread basket” but they don’t sell bread, they have a “bread menu” from which your sammich is made, but they are like carnegie sammiches, and it works for them.

279. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

by “we,” I mean my home town.

280. mesablue - April 13, 2007

They have sammiches in Hammond now?

Used to be they just slapped their meat between two hunks of dirt — and liked it.

281. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

Sobek: I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war.

lauraw (whispering to Kevlarchick): Oh my. Does that boy have a crocodile head, or is it just me?

Kevlar (whisper): It certainly appears so. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.

Sobek: Excuse me, ladies? Can I finish here? I only drove halfway across this godforsaken desert to steal all your sammiches, and I think it’s only common courtesy to listen to what I’ve got to say. Or I could just have my boyz drive around in circles whooping & hollering like a bunch of ‘tards on a field trip if you’d prefer that.

Lipstick: Wow, SOMEBODY woke up on the wrong side of the Nile this morning.

282. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Chill Mesa,

Hit the town again, everything else sucks, but the diversity of food is pretty damn good.

283. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

The Pool Builder: Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul those sammiches. You want to get out of here? You talk to me.

Pupster: Would that vehicle also have room to haul the chips & potato salad? Cuz we really don’t want to eat sammiches without sides, youknowwhatImean?

The Pool Builder: I don’t know. I guess so. How much ‘tater salad are we talking about?

Pupster: Hmmmmm, maybe twenty, twenty-five drums of salad, along with two pallets of chips & a drum full of picante sauce.

Michael: Is there room for a clarinet?

The Pool Builder & Pupster (in unison): NO!!!!!!

284. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

You got el-taco, you used to have 169th street station (best fusion I’ve ever had) you got bread basket (artisan breads and sammiches) you got house of pizza, you got (a few miles away in lynwood) warsaw in, not to mention the polish deli, and the various ethnic churches that have bi-monthly festivals of food.

Lots of nummy nummy nummy shit within 5 or so miles.

285. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Any places with a good Italian beef sammich?

I always have to stop and get one of those when I go home.

They exist nowhere else in the universe.

286. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

Michael: What is it with you, huh? What are you looking for? C’mon, Dave, everybody’s looking for something. You’re happy out there, are you? Eh? Wandering? One day blurring into another? You’re a scavenger, Dave. You’re a maggot. Did you know that? You’re living off the corpse of the old world. Tell me your story, Dave. C’mon. Tell me your story. What burned you out, huh? Build one pool too many? See too many people shilling for RINO candidates? Lose a sammich?

[Dave turns to Michael and gives him an angry glare, while shaking his head at the unfortunately formfitting batman suit he's wearing]

Michael: Oh, so that’s it, you lost your sammich? That makes you something special, does it?

The Pool Builder: What? I’m sorry did you say something? I was just thinking about roast beef & swiss with dijon mustard.

Michael: Do you think you’re the only one that’s suffered? We’ve all been through it in here. But we haven’t given up. We’re still human beings, with dignity. But you? You’re out there with the garbage. You’re NOTHING.

RWS (whispering to The Pool Builder): They’ve got you wrong. You’re not a coward. STUPID, maybe. But not a coward. Now can I interest you in a brochure. It’s titled “50 cool things about John McCain”, and I’ve got a whole box of them here. Hey, where are you going? Don’t run away from me you POOPYHEAD! The election’s only NINETEEN months away you know!

287. Retired Geezer - April 13, 2007

Nothing to do but breed! And ride horseys! And go swimming! And shooting! And eat sammiches all day long!

And… and… we can rub LauraW’s squirrel whenever we want.

288. Retired Geezer - April 13, 2007

Hey Tusher, Michael was just kidding… don’t go.

289. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

Feisty: You’re letting him go! Well, let’s keep his laptop at least!

Michael: He fulfilled his contract. He’s an honorable man.

Feisty: Ok, so who’s going to drive the sammich truck?

Michael: I am. But we’ve got 10 minutes before I have to leave, and I was just thinking maybe…

Feisty: Stop. Right. There. No. Nope. Never. I’d rather let Bartwing Plover shave my head than do the Happy Dance with some dude in a homemade batman suit. Let’s just pretend this conversation never happened. I’ve got to leave now.

Michael: Fine. If you see Mrs. Peel out there, tell her I found the keys to her Cherokee.

290. Retired Geezer - April 13, 2007

lol Russ is on a roll.

291. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

Dave, you thought you could unseat me with your lame-ass “Apocalypse Snow” shit. Nice try, but no cigar.

That was your gift to me Mike. Thankee

And Russ, you have been struck by a Pinto muse tonight. And it’s goood.

mesa, I know italian from the book on the counter. Olive oil, pressed garlic, and thou.

292. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Any places with a good Italian beef sammich?

I like Leonardo’s but make sure you DON’T get the marinara, and make sure that it is dipped.

Drawback is that they are somewhat expensive, and small. A big guy like you needs at least 1 1/2 if not 2 and maybe three.

My chubby ass can put down three before I take a breath, not because I’m that big of a pig, but because they are THAT nummy, in a very simple sammichy sorta way.

I forgot about Mr. Submarine, who have ehhhhhh somewhat blandish sammiches in basic. That can be fixed for the most part if you tell them about simple spicing and mixtures. But they are cheap and STUFFED.

Imagine quiznos (not tosted, almost always dipped) in volume, and less than 1/2 the price.

293. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

And… and… we can rub LauraW’s squirrel whenever we want.

Is that what the kids are calling it now.

294. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

The Pool Builder: If it’s all the same to you… I’ll haul those sammiches

Michael: The offer is closed. Too late for deals.

The Pool Builder: No deals. I want to drive that truck. Please?

Michael: No. You hurt my feelings, and I’m going to drive the tanker myself. I asked Mrs. Peel to drive it with me, but she just snorted & walked out laughing. I’ll show her. I’ll show all of them. Wait ’til they get a load of me

THE NARRATOR: Michael, dude? That’s a line from “Batman”. We talked about this, remember? We’re doing “The Road Warrior” tonight. I’ll do “Batman” for you next week, OK?

The Pool Builder: Honestly, I don’t know what you were thinking, Mike. That line’s not even Batman’s anyway, Jack Nicholson said that.

Michael: Oh, so you’re the Batman expert now?

The Pool Builder: That’s a pretty famous line. You didn’t have to be an expert to know it, you just had to be awake sometime during the late 80’s to remember that one.

THE NARRATOR: Guys? Let’s leave the arguments for next week, OK.

Michael: Fine, whatever.

The Pool Builder: OK by me.

THE NARRATOR: OK, let’s take it from where we left off, alright?

Mrs. Peel (walks into the tent): Hey guys, do I get to drive the sammich truck or what?

Michael: I thought we talked about this. Dave is driving the truck, and you’ll be running interference with your Cherokee to keep Sobek’s goons from getting to the sammiches.

Mrs. Peel: Uhm, Michael…how many times do I have to tell you. I. Don’t. Have. A. Jeep. Never had one.

The Pool Builder: That’s not what I heard.

Mrs. Peel: Who told you that?

The Pool Builder: Monty. He said he read your ad in the “Apocalypse Gazette”. 1997 Jeep Cherokee. Low miles. Slightly modified with all body panels stripped off it and two dead bodies lashed to the front bumper.

Mrs. Peel: That’s not my Jeep.

The Pool Builder: The number in the ad is 1-800-MRS-PEEL.

Mrs. Peel: Bleeping Bleep-tards. I keep telling them to fix that typo. Bleepity Bleeping Bleep!

RWS: Please stop cursing.

wickedpinto: No, don’t stop cursing. Keep it coming, and please slip into this little leather number while you do it.

The Pool Builder & Michael: HEY! Shouldn’t you be OUTSIDE with Croc-boy?

wp: Oops. Gotta go. (jumps onto top of the bus & points @ The Pool Buider) YOU! YOU CAN RUN! BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE! Which reminds me of a story….one time on Okanawa we were out at the bars & “the banana lady” came over to our table……

THE NARRATOR: Too. Much. Information.

wp: Well, excuse me. See you out on the road, sammich-boy.

295. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

NOTE!:

I have NEVER mentioned the bannana show until now.

So who’s the perv?

296. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

No. You hurt my feelings, and I’m going to drive the tanker myself.

What sort of sammiches are shipped in tankers? the jous is shipped in tankers, the sammiches require refrigerated rail cars (invented in my home town by the man who my hometown is named after) Suck that historical blabitty blabbity, really, I don’t have much inspiration, I just wants me a leonardo’s Italian Beef sammich.

CURSE YOU MESA!!!

297. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

need.

sleep.

and some ice on the pin.

it’s coming along nicely y’all. thanks

298. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Bubbles?

299. Michael - April 13, 2007

The commenters site will be ours. Then you shall have your revenge.

In your fuckin’ dream, Russ.

The succession planning for IB works like this:

1. Brewfan
2. . . .
3 . . .
4 . . .
5 . . .

What are the odds that I will toss the keys to a loser like Brewfan?

You get my point.

It could happen. After all, Gerry Ford became the President. But it’s not likely.

300. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

The Pool Builder: I want to drive that sammich truck.

Feisty: And how do you plan to do that? Look at yourself. You couldn’t drive a wheelchair.

The Pool Builder: You wouldn’t happen to have any Vicodin Martinis, would you, Feisty?

Moses The Wonder Dog: woof woof woof

The Pool Builder: What’s that Moses? Did skinbad fall down a well?

Moses The Wonder Dog: woof woof

The Pool Builder: Ace needs help burying a hobo?

Moses the Wonder Dog: woof woof WOOF WOOF

The Pool Builder: Oh, I see. You peed on the couch & ate a whole weed of cheese. That’s interesting.

Moses The Wonder Dog: woof woof?

The Pool Builder: Look, we talked about this. You can’t drive the sammich truck. You’re a dog.

Moses The Wonder Dog: woof?

The Pool Builder: Yes, you’re a dog. And dogs can’t drive trucks. If you want to hop on one of those motorcycles, knock yourself out. Hey, maybe Mrs. Peel will let you sit in the front seat of her Jeep & stick your head out the window.

Mrs. Peel: Bleeping Bleep-tards. I don’t have a bleeping Jeep.

Moses: woof woof woof

The Pool Builder (whispering to MtWD): shhhhhh. I know, but she’s an Aggie. You know as well as I do: Them Folks Just Ain’t Right.

301. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007
302. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

I totaly closed that tag, I think, but I might not have, you know, I have a bit of a history of being sloppy, just odd that it happens this early.

303. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

DAMN! “not have” I meant.

CURSES! Grammar, and language? You may have won this time, but you will always win, no matter what!

304. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

DAMN!

Anyone got a small tarpalin that doesn’t include spudder? I’m such a doof.

*cries*

305. mesablue - April 13, 2007

Hey look!

It’s the first ever and most likely one and only Absolute Moral Authority Name That Superhero Contest!

306. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Michael threatened all of the KC crew about this very thing.

(requisite compliment)

Michael has foresight, because god knows I’m twitching.

307. The Leader of the Northern Tribes (from Winterset) - April 13, 2007

…….and the Pool Builder… He Lives now, only in my memories. And in Texas. I think he might live in Texas.

(narrator stepping out of character here) Look, I hate to leave out the chase scene, since it’s basically the whole reason to watch the movie (I’m gonna pop it in the DVD player right now), but the IMDb site doesn’t have any quotes from that part of the movie, and I’m too tired to do them up right. You’ll just have to IMAGINE how the chase scene went, OK?

This was kindof cool, in a short-bus sort of way. My muse “exploded in my balls like a shotgun filled with handjobs”, and I had to write while the flame burned white hot. Now that it’s burned out, I’m gonna get ready to go to the Iowa State spring football game tomorrow in Ames. We’re tailgating, and I’ve got to bring the Shiner Bock & polish sausages.

May I make a suggestion for anyone else wanting to follow in my footsteps? Caddyshack. Wickedyouknowwho is a dead ringer for Carl Spackler, IMHO.

Nighty night.

308. daveintexas - April 13, 2007

he…..has……recited…the

metanarratiiiiiiive

time to hit the spa. I’ll wipe off the oozy sutures later.

309. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

When you are done don’t forget your parafin treatment, your hot stone massage, your fingernail buff sponge, and your pedicure.

You’ve been in the neighborhood of a tornadoe, you need to pamper yourself.

While you are at it, how about a skin peal? a mud mask and folicle correction treatment?

310. Russ from Winterset - April 13, 2007

wp, the “banana lady” reference came from an old roomie of mine. He graduated with my sister in ’88, & joined the Corps right outta high school. He was in Okinawa right before Gulf I, and he served over there in an artillery unit. The big boys. Crowd pleasers. 155’s.

One of my HS & college classmates joined the JAG corps after law school, and he did his first tour as a defense attorney in Okinawa. He was back here in Winterset in the mid-90’s on his way to his next post in Italy, and we had a bunch of beers one night. Tom started asking John if the “banana lady” was still working in Okinawa, and I got the whole backstory at that time.

311. Wicked Spackler - April 13, 2007

Hellooo, Mr. Gopher…

312. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

Oh, I’m not arguing as to the existence of the bananna lady, she does exist, with many faces.

I’m just saying _I_ was never the one to mention it, as you attributed.

I kept that shit to myself, just like I kept “the sex house”

313. wiserbud - April 13, 2007

well, since this thread has obviously gone spinning wildly out of control, I might as well toss this in:

I will be in New Orleans next week. Anyone want to get together for a drink or ten?

314. Wickedpinto - April 13, 2007

In the quarter, watch out for the swinging legs, unless you are a midget.

315. mesablue - April 13, 2007
316. wiserbud - April 14, 2007

been there, mesa. Cool place. Almost scary.

Think I got asked leave from there too, iffin I not mistaken.

(it was a real tough night.)

317. mesablue - April 14, 2007

wiserbud,

Have you seen the Planet Earth — Shallow Seas episode?

Amazing stuff. I really want to go diving in Indonesia after watching it.

318. wiserbud - April 14, 2007

I haven’t seen that, mesa. But I have read articles (and seen photos) about the diving in Asia and it is one of my goals. That, and Australia. I’ve been to Oz, but was not able to dive. It is a must, as far as I’m concerned.

319. wiserbud - April 14, 2007

But, based on your suggestion and the wonders of the internet ;) , I expect to see Shallow Seas this weekend, however. Looks awesome.

320. eddiebear - April 14, 2007

OK. Instead of Mad Max movies, what about a reference to “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World?” That would actually be more fitting.

321. Retired Geezer - April 14, 2007

I caught the tail end of that movie (Mad World) the other night. Don’t even bother trying to watch it without letterbox or widescreen.

“It’s a Big W, I tell ya”.

322. mesablue - April 14, 2007

Hope you have HD, really made it look spectacular.

There is a scene with dozens of sea snakes and fish hunting a reef together that was really amazing.

323. geoff - April 14, 2007

I think kudos are due Skinbad for launching the fastest-developing thread in IB history (I’m sure Michael will correct me if I exaggerate).

324. Bosk - April 14, 2007

324! 12:18 my time and your all sleeping or hibernating or hanging upside down in the batcave.

325. harrison - April 14, 2007

The birds are up,
The bees are up,
The flowers are up,
The trees are up.
It’s upsy-wupsy time!

326. Barry in CO - April 14, 2007

You are all, all of you- very very special. And I really mean that s***.

327. skinbad - April 14, 2007

Thanks for playing everyone (especially Mad Russ). Good luck to the Iowa State Whatevers.

328. lauraw - April 14, 2007

Can’t believe I picked last night to have a life.

329. Dave in Texas - April 14, 2007

I can’t believe it either. We missed you – kc was in for a while, PattyAnn was ducking tornados. Mrs. Peel went to bed early and Barb threatened us with a casserole.

But Russ was on f’n’ fire last night. I remember those days – the story comes so fast you can’t type fast enough. Ahhh… the good days.

330. kevlarchick - April 14, 2007

Wow. What a night for you diehards. I wonder how The Russ is feeling this morning? I hope he takes a shower soon.

This is more proof that we need to get together this summer, preferably somewhere with a large yard and plenty of grass and trees for these folks to sleep on and under.

331. Dave in Texas - April 14, 2007

Who among us hasn’t awakened in the yard under a shrubbery?

Oh. Just me then?

nevermind

332. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

*cough*pool*cough*
.oO No pool no bikini’s.

333. harrison - April 14, 2007

Who among us hasn’t awakened in the yard under a shrubbery?

Good times, good times.

334. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Good times, good times.

Tuesdays? They are just tuesdays.

335. Pupster - April 14, 2007

WP,
You + bikini = dealbreaker

336. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

I look HAWT in a bikini, but the thong tends to pull out ass hair.

337. Pupster - April 14, 2007

“The rose goes in the front, big guy.”

-H/T someone funnier and more original than Pupster

338. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Kevin Costner is funnier than pupster?

339. harrison - April 14, 2007

Once again WP crosses the line. EWWW!

340. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Sorry for mentioning Kevin Costner.

341. Retired Geezer - April 14, 2007

I like Kevin Costner but he’s not funnier than *any* of the IB posters.

342. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

I know, I know, harrison was right, I was completely over the line with that.

343. lauraw - April 14, 2007

Sorry for mentioning Kevin Costner.

hee hee

344. mesablue - April 14, 2007

Costner was really funny in Waterworld.

The Postman was a hoot as well.

Go play the contest!

Name me!

Not me, but he needs a name and you can win a prize.

345. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Oh! hey! whodathunk? Mesa’s Blogwhoring?
GTFOOH! :)

346. mesablue - April 14, 2007

Wicked,

I’m providing a public service — just get over there.

347. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

I did, you straight headed ho!

348. geoff - April 14, 2007

Did you, DinT and Enas get those glamor photo’s I sent you on St. Patrick’s Day?

– 223. Helen Thomas

All right already! I’ve paid my dues.

349. lauraw - April 14, 2007
350. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Russ from Winterset – April 13, 2007
You guys are all great. I’m positive that if I happened upon any of you lying on the side of the road with your clothing on fire, I’d take the time to pee on the fire to put it out. That’s how important y’all are to me.

I don’t know how I overlooked that the first time through. My personal favorite malphorism along these lines (or is it dysphorism? or whatever) is. . .

“If you were dying of hypothermia? I MIGHT be willing to set you on fire.”

Much much more cruel.

351. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

opening lines are friggen awesome.

A scientist/artist describes beauty in about 30 seconds without the ego of the artistes.

He would have been better off leaving off with something like “As a scientist I’m not immune to the beauty the aesthetes praise, but I see more than just the visual beauty, I see more than what the eye see’s, I work to actually understand that beauty, and that in itself is a testament to beauty” or some shit like that.

352. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Whoever made that last comment, though it came from my IP, my keyboard and my hands was not Wickedpinto!

That guy is gay, and I the real wickedpinto would never say such things, even if I did in fact (which I did, but I blame global warming) type them cuz The real Wicked is not some effete faggot.

Damn, now I have to go into rehab, CURSE YOU GLOBAL WARMING!!!

353. Feisty - April 14, 2007

That is pretty close to Mr. Assface, LauraW. Frightening. Although, 62 is a little old for me. You’d have to throw in threats on my life and vandalism to make it truly my ex though.

354. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Wasn’t there also breaking and entering and theft?

355. daveintexas - April 14, 2007

A little old?

62 is a little old for me.

356. lauraw - April 14, 2007

Does it mean you’re totally corrupt if you think this story is frikkin’ funny?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/04/14/germany.race.ap/index.html

Germans know about the Bronx?

357. daveintexas - April 14, 2007

“You are in the Bronx. A black van is stopping in front of you. Three African-Americans are getting out and they are insulting your mother in the worst ways … Act.”

DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE!!

I suppose I’m totally corrupt too. Particularly the bit about the skulls.

358. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

A black van is stopping in front of you
Why it gotta be black?

DiT, nice Ghetto Boyz reference, but admit it, you never heard the song until you watched “Office Space.”

Thats true isn’t it?

359. daveintexas - April 14, 2007

You are in the Bronx. A black van is stopping in front of you. Three African-Americans are getting out and they are insulting your mother in the worst ways … Act.”

*clears throat* “To be, or not to be. Whether tis better to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…”

360. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

I’m just curious, do you think it was a nappy headed van?

361. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Not that I have reverend al on speed dial (I already dialed, I’m just waiting for confirmation before I press send) I’m just wondering was it a nappy headed van?

362. daveintexas - April 14, 2007

Actually, I think lauraw turned me onto it in this video.

Or I found it for her. Can’t member.

But yeah, up til then I had no clue.

363. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Just to he mesablue happy, I think it’s important that everyone knows that he has a blog.
I’m not sure if everyone knew that.

After all he’s more a fan of the MINOR promotion method. :)

364. lauraw - April 14, 2007

Dave, I never saw that video before.
cool footage though

365. mesablue - April 14, 2007

Yeah,

It’s not like it’s on the blogroll here or anything.

366. kevlarchick - April 14, 2007

WP is cheating on me with another man.

367. mesablue - April 14, 2007

WP is not a chick?

Kill me now.

368. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

OH!
NOW I get it.
I’m Mesa’s whore for his blog pimping, rather than being YOUR whore for pimping your blog.

I’m sorry KC, I’m actually offsetting my denigration, while still taking advantage of Mesa’s whorishness.

Noone will listen to me right now, I need a week or two, Patty is the real source.

Don’t worry KC, you’s always my ho, look at the first comment.

I’s here for you, you’s in charge, remeber that if I leave, you’s in charge.

369. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

I fucking hate gehto language.

In fact, maybe that is why I have developed an affinity for the sista’s in the last couple years. I don’t call them either “ho’s” or “bitches” I’m just a goofy chubby white guy who treats them like people.

Does that work for you LauraW?

OH! I forgot, you aren’t black, you aren’t a ho, and you aren’t a bitch, you are just a liar.

*mope*

(that is actually a joke, noone pile on unless you get the joke please)

370. mesablue - April 14, 2007

WP,

I be da pimp an you be da man ho.

Now get out and earn.

371. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Mesa?
When we meet, it will be a spectactle. Not conflict, just a sorta cartoony cloud as we toss guyish insult at eachother.

You rock brother.

372. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

Kinda like Magic The Gathering, and Pokeimon, where there is a heated battle, and constant conflict, and when it’s done? smiles and laughter and an exchange of trading cards (but you ain’t getting any of my first edition moxes you mother fucker) Just saying.

373. kevlarchick - April 14, 2007

WP don’t even tell me you’re into that gayness. Please man.

I mean card trading.

374. harrison - April 14, 2007

Give up, KC.
We’ve lost him…

375. Michael - April 14, 2007

We’ve lost him…

We’ve lost Wickedpinto?

Damn.

We have also, apparently, lost Bart. And Steve_in_hb. And Amish.

That just pisses me off. Why can’t we lose the people who deserve it?

Like Geoff. Or Mesablue. Lowlife sonsabitches who disrespect Batman.

Just sayin’.

376. harrison - April 14, 2007

Michael, I meant he’s gone gay, not away.
NTTATWWTifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.

377. Michael - April 14, 2007

And Feisty.

Plus, I think I pissed off Tushar. Dang. All I did was make fun of the fact that he was a brown person.

Who knew he was so sensitive?

378. Tushar D - April 14, 2007

Michael, I am still here. I have no problem being called a brown person. It is a standard schtick on AoS. But remember you once called me a Liberal on AoS? That really pissed me off.

379. skinbad - April 14, 2007

He is sensitive, but not about cows. He’s also quite clean and articulate.

380. skinbad - April 14, 2007

Speak of the Kali. Hey Tush, glad Michael didn’t run you off.

381. Tushar D - April 14, 2007

Moo!

382. harrison - April 14, 2007

How now, Brown Cow?

383. Retired Geezer - April 14, 2007

Yeah, I’m glad Tusher has chosen to hang out here too.

Lemme think of something nice to say…

I’m pretty sure that some of the Bollywood movies aren’t goofy.

But that one with the little Dancin’ Demon Dude scares the shit out of me.

384. Russ from Winterset - April 14, 2007

Tushar, Bai-Sahib, it’s good to see that you’re still here.

(cut me some slack on my phonetic Hindi. My old college roomie taught me to SAY three words of Hindi, but he didn’t bother to teach me how to SPELL them.)

385. Michael - April 14, 2007

But remember you once called me a Liberal on AoS? That really pissed me off.

No, I don’t remember that at all. In my mind, you are a very scary shade of brown, but not even slightly liberal. Liberal does not scare me. I can’t imagine how that happened.

Not to worry. I piss people off all the time without knowing it. It’s like, well, — a gift from God.

I think of it as the Lutheran Entitlement. We have some perks as a result of being Theologically Correct.
:)

386. BrewFan - April 14, 2007

Best. Thread. Ever!

I thought dr4 was amish in disguise. No?

387. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

KC lets see you spend 4 months busting your ass to trade out for all the moxes. That’s EFFORT baby.

388. Tushar D - April 14, 2007

Russ, the word is “Bhai Sahib”. You were almost correct.

>>In my mind, you are a very scary shade of brown, but not even slightly liberal. I can’t imagine how that happened.

Michael, you are thinking like a Liberal now. Liberals think that only whites (and especially males) are degraded enough to be conservatives. Rest of the humanity is too divine to go down that path. But their real venom is directed at people like me, who are non-white but conservative. I am proud to be in the company of Justice Thomas, Condi Rice and Michelle Malkin.

389. Russ from Winterset - April 14, 2007

wp, I don’t know what you just said, but I’m getting a mental picture of you dressed as the construction worker from the Village People while you typed it out. NTTAWWT, of course.

390. Michael - April 14, 2007

I thought dr4 was amish in disguise. No?

I was speculatin’ the same thing.

(Of course, I’m speculatin’ on the basis of looking at IP addresses in the All-Knowing IB Dashboard™, and it looks like Amish and dr4 use the same computer, but it’s still just speculatin’.)

391. Michael - April 14, 2007

But their real venom is directed at people like me, who are non-white but conservative. I am proud to be in the company of Justice Thomas, Condi Rice and Michelle Malkin.

Please, Tushar — I believe you. Here’s my wallet. Just take it and don’t hurt me.

392. kevlarchick - April 14, 2007

Russ is just now recovering from last night.

393. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

I can’t believe it’s been more than 12 years since then. I didn’t get into it hard, but I ID’d the hot stuff and I wanted it. only to give them all over in the following weeks to a friend of mine.

394. Wickedpinto - April 14, 2007

If Aces place is dead then it’s anyones game to make the next interactive post to win the top spot from michael.

RG, Quick! post a picture and short anectdote about one of your gay animals!

395. Mrs. Peel - April 14, 2007

Of course amish == dr4. The style is unmistakeable.

Michael, I think the ability to unknowingly piss people off is more of an INTJ thing.

Dave, you are in fact correct that I “went to bed early” last night. mm-hmm.

(also, “bell hooks” == erg. totally obvious. I wonder why he even bothers with the different names. As soon as he posts something like:

“[name]

you are a total fucking moron.”

we all know it’s erg. And he always does that within three or four posts on a thread.)

396. Russ from Winterset - April 14, 2007

KC:

Actually, I’m just now recovering from all the rum I drank this morning. IMPORTANT TIP FOR IB READERS: If you Absolutely Have to drink cheap rum on an empty stomach, mix it with Pepto Bismol instead of Dr. Pepper, and your stomach won’t spin around like an unbalanced washing machine.

The Iowa State CYCLONES managed to win their spring game against the ……….. Iowa State Cyclones this afternoon. The new coaching staff is still getting a handle on what this team can do, and the spring game format was more of a controlled scrimmage/practice than a game.

One thing they did that I kind of liked was award points for good plays regardless of actual scoring. Things like giving the D two points for forcing a punt, giving the O a point for gaining more than 4 yards on first down, and giving bonus points for an especially block/tackle by a lineman on either side. The highlights were limited to an 80 yard breakaway run, a great pass play where a redshirt freshman made a circus catch in the middle of two defenders, and one wicked hit where a safety (who was hurt most of last year) dropped the hammer on a tight end simultaneously with the ball touching his hands.

Of course, after the game I had to stop by the farm & do the chores for Mom & Dad. We’ve got a calf with pneumonia, and he’s getting better – but he’s still coughing like a 3-pack a day smoker. Three cc’s of penicillin hopefully took care of that.

397. Michael - April 14, 2007

If Aces place is dead then it’s anyones game to make the next interactive post to win the top spot from michael.

You’re right, WP. I can’t get through to AOSHQ.

Maybe that means that a nappy-haired ho like Carin will show up.

398. Retired Geezer - April 14, 2007

RG, Quick! post a picture and short anectdote about one of your gay animals!

Uh, OK.
Mrs. Geezer and I worked as Wardrobe People for the Monsters Inc. Ice show. in Boise.

399. Russ from Winterset - April 14, 2007

(I only give details of the football game/scrimmage/practice I witnessed today because I know for a FACT that it gets lauraw’s sap running)

400. Michael - April 14, 2007

Michael, I think the ability to unknowingly piss people off is more of an INTJ thing.

That’s a very perceptive comment, Mrs. Peel. One of the problems we INTJ’s have is that we are way too much into our own heads, and not particularly sensitive to others, unless we deliberately focus. When we focus, we’re really good. But it takes an effort; it’s not something natural.

401. Tushar D - April 14, 2007

What is INTJ? IIRC, it is a personality type. Anybody has a link to that quiz?

402. Michael - April 14, 2007

Uh, OK.

Mrs. Geezer and I worked as Wardrobe People for the Monsters Inc. Ice show. in Boise.

Geezer, WP meant that you need to post a Main Page Comment when AOSHQ is down.

Sheesh. I’ll do it for you.

403. Michael - April 14, 2007

Anybody has a link to that quiz?

Yes, Tushar, you can get your Myers-Briggs personality type (based on Jungian psychology) here.

Don’t think too hard about your answers — just go with your gut.

404. eddiebear - April 14, 2007

Oh. I hit the “AoS is down” thread first. I didn’t realize it was discussed here. Sorry.
I was at the Cardinals game tonight with my wife (my parents watched the Little Princess), freezing my ass off and watching The One Who Got Away And Shouldn’t Have (Jeff Suppan) pwn the Redbirds. Fucking Pujols sucks this year.

I get the feeling the Brewers may have a good season. Suppan will add some serious maturity and experience to that team. Hell, he out dueled Clemens in Game 7 of the 2004 NLCS and his Game 7 performance in last year’s NLCS was the stuff of legends.

405. eddiebear - April 14, 2007

On a better note, I’m about to go on the first semi-serious vacation since my wife became pregnant 2+ years ago (the last one was a trip to my Grandma’s Property in Winter Park, FL. Sure enough, my wife found out she was pregnant a few weeks later.

This one will be to a place my brother recommends for having a clean, safe beach that is easy for a toddler to enjoy-The Indiana Dunes. Any advice on where to go?

406. geoff - April 14, 2007

Of course amish == dr4. The style is unmistakeable.

I always thought so as well. But he toned it down a lot when he came back. I thought that was commendable.

407. Michael - April 14, 2007

The Indiana Dunes. Any advice on where to go?

From the Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore, it’s a thirty-minute drive to the Chapel Of The Resurrection

It’s worth a look. Better yet, go there for a Sunday service.

408. eddiebear - April 14, 2007

Thanks for the heads up. My vacations pre-baby were sightseeing or boating and dodging alligators types. Now, we need to keep a toddler not yet ready for Mickey Mouse occupied in a relatively safe fashion. And I love beaches. We are planning for mid July. I need to get away in the worst way.

409. daveintexas - April 15, 2007

Dave, you are in fact correct that I “went to bed early” last night. mm-hmm.

Don’t be puttin scare quotes around that stuff little missy. You watch your phraseology!

410. mesablue - April 15, 2007

The Indiana Dunes. Any advice on where to go?

Not in the water!

http://www.nps.gov/archive/indu/rip.htm

Just kidding to a point.

Really, it’s a beautiful place. I’ve been there dozens of times with my kids.

For some weird reason, people jump in the water when there are big waves and don’t come back. People think that since it’s just a lake that they shouldn’t be careful. It’s big water. Play in the waves and have fun. Just keep the kiddos in sight.

Warren Dunes is not far off. And, if you like a good burger, Redamak’s — http://www.redamaks.com/site/index.htm in New Buffalo, Mi is one of the best in a great summer atmosphere.

I give the East side of Michigan a lot of grief because I live there, but the Western shore is one of the prettiest places in the country. Big beaches, sand dunes and pretty little lake side towns.

If you really want to make your wife happy, make it up to Saugatuck — http://www.saugatuck.com/index.asp for a day and just walk around.

All within about an hours drive. Just make sure to skip Michigan City and Benton Harbor. Michigan City is outlet malls, but google Benton Harbor and National Guard to know why to drive on by.

411. S. Weasel - April 15, 2007

Great. I’m an INTJ. Does that make me some kind of social retard, or what?

412. Pupster - April 15, 2007

Weasel,

Michael labeling himself INTJ got me interested in the Humanmetrics test back in December.

Enas Yorl was INTJ as well.

I would say “socially different-abled”, but no special parking tag for you my friend.

413. Mrs. Peel - April 15, 2007

yeah, I was reading a profile description of INTJ again yesterday and it made me giggle. There was one bit that went something like “Coworkers and even supervisors who demonstrate incompetence will lose the INTJ’s respect, and the INTJ will let them know about it” or some such.

They (specifically someone) actually guessed me INTP at first, but I was (and am) sooooo INTJ. Mastermind!

414. S. Weasel - April 15, 2007

Personality characteristics can display in unexpected ways, though. Being conscientious and a perfectionist *and* bone lazy, for example, means that I do my best not to take on responsibilities in the first place.

415. Retired Geezer - April 15, 2007

I gotta take that test someday soon.
What is DinT? Cause I wanna be that too.
We’re both all about the fun-nay.

416. Pupster - April 15, 2007

Dave in Texas – EIFP

Extroverted
Injured
Feeling
Pharmaceuticals

417. mesablue - April 15, 2007

ENTJ — The Field Marshall

Respect my authoritay.

418. sandy burger - April 15, 2007

I’m an INtP.

(I used a lower-case t, because I was just one point to the T side; I’m pretty close to being an INfP. But on the other three aspects, I showed a strong preference.)

INTPs make better lovers.
INTJs are best known for shoplifting.

419. lauraw - April 15, 2007

INTJ’s always know the detailed weather forecast, even though they’re hardly ever outdoors. It’s just one of those things they do.

420. Wickedpinto - April 15, 2007

It’s just one of those things they do.

Don’t you mean, “that’s just how they roll.”

421. sandy burger - April 15, 2007

According to Jung, most ENTJs are necrophiliacs.

422. daveintexas - April 15, 2007

DINT

Extrovert asshole. So confident in his ridiculous sense of humor he can eat chocolate and imagine he loses weight. The T is for “tease”.

He’s a doof. Pay no attention.

423. kevlarchick - April 15, 2007

Wow sandy. You and I are kindred souls; I’m the borderline F/T too. Let’s hang out.

424. sandy burger - April 15, 2007

We rock, Kevlarchick!

425. geoff - April 15, 2007

I’m a heavy duty INTP.

426. Russ from Winterset - April 15, 2007

INTP here, but while I was taking the test, Harrison Ford kicked in my door & tried to ventilate me with a big ‘ol pistol. WTF is up with that?

427. Tushar D - April 15, 2007

I am NTJ. But exactly midway between Introvert and Extrovert. I am quite comfortable around people, and equally at ease with myself. Or maybe I am a crowd all by myself.

428. Wickedpinto - April 15, 2007

Weasel,

absolute 100% proof that I’m getting older.

When I clicked your link, I thought, “what a cute puppy” not “great juggs”

I need more ginko-biloba.

429. Wickedpinto - April 16, 2007

I’m ENTJ, looking up it’s analysis now. (these are my qualms with the test)

#43You prefer to isolate yourself from outside noises

I said no, but I have a caveate.

I isolate myself from INSIGNIFICANT sounds. I like a controled silence so that I can hear the mailman, or my mother coming how, I like to feel the door closing on my father or brothers car as they visit, I’m a little more thorough in my sensual understanding that many.

I DO know when my mother returns, I know how her door sounds when she slams it, I know the FEEL of my brothers SUV when it stops by, I make a point of touching my whole environment.

So I can’t really answer this question yess and know. I control my environment, or rather create a static one so that I can do things like I just described without any deliberate effort.

#51 The process of searching for solution is more
important to you than the solution itself

I enjoy the process more, but once the solution is recieved that is what is important. Only selfish fucks will subjugate the solution in favor of the process. If you never achieve solution then the process is meaningless. JOY is in the process, solution is the trophy at the end of THAT road, but knowing peole realize that there is always another path, and more processes to walk, and more solutions to pursue.

#60 You often spend time thinking of how things
could be improved

I WANT them improved, but I’m a white trash drunken bufoon. I accept the situation I created for myself. I HOPE, more than I “think of how” I hope that others can do a better job than I have, cuz I have clearly failed.

#64 You are easily affected by strong emotions

I am not an angry person, and what anger I experience is instant. “wickedpinto is pissed, wickedpinto is over it, it is ended” that is my aggression. When it comes to my love, like the old lions post about the men who have lived and been what I wish I was. Then I love, and it’s impossible for me to ignore that love and adoration. I read this question as one about bad judgements like “pussy? lets get married.” or “you stole pussy, lets fight!” I’m neither, I read the question as the manipulative question it was, but I answered honestly. “no”

430. Wickedpinto - April 16, 2007

I a FRIGGEN RETARD who makes you laugh?

This test sucks!

431. Wickedpinto - April 16, 2007

Clearly I don’t have a 1 thought or judgement, cuz I judged and thought about the friggen questions.

SUCK ME JUNG!

432. Wickedpinto - April 16, 2007

BTW?

That kitty pick? is just too damn cuwote!

CURSE YOU skin!

433. PattyAnn - April 16, 2007

I finally took that test. I’m INTJ as well. Anyone know why so many here are in that group? Should I be scared?

434. S. Weasel - April 16, 2007

I dunno, PattyAnn. I guess if we liked hanging around real, live people, we’d be doing it. If this blog thing passes for your social life, you’re probably INTJ.

Hey, I’m fun at parties. Really. I just don’t *like* them much.

435. Retired Geezer - April 16, 2007

I finally took it but I was conflicted on many answers; Sure sometimes I like to swim with the dolphins but other times I just like to shoot gophers.

Anyway, I’m INFP… Is that cause I’m old?

436. PattyAnn - April 16, 2007

Weasel, this is my social life. I’m like you at parties, though. That’s why my nickname is PartyAnn. Well, it was before I got old.

437. DawmoomiWhoma - March 8, 2010

Where is a good source for finding legal jobs?

438. BrewFan - March 8, 2010

Call Dewey, Cheatem & Howe

1-800-SUE-MOMS

439. become a mermaid - May 25, 2010

There have been so many mermen movies and television episodes around.

440. Katharina96 - November 3, 2010

Servus! Ich bin Katharina
Hey leutz, ich bin gerade erst auf diese seite gestossen.

Tschau
Katharina

441. lauraw - November 3, 2010

Tschau = ciao?

442. ForumStaff - April 22, 2011

ForumStaff

443. ventattetry - December 27, 2011

How do I reserve my African safari and how advance should I do reservations?

444. Tushar - December 29, 2011

ventattetry

just land at Nairobi airport and insult a local. He will chase you through the Savannah. You will get a chance to be cuisine for exotic animals. It will be the trip of a lifetime.


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