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a fat naked woman with greased thighs July 9, 2007

Posted by anycomments in Commenting Tips, Philosophy.
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I’m just writing this post so I can giggle at the Recent Comments list.

Thanks for the idea, Geezer.

-lauraw

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Comments»

1. Tushar D - July 9, 2007

Lauraw,
I must commend you on your vivid imagination.

**shudders**

2. Sobek is - July 9, 2007

this is crazy

3. Retired Geezer - July 9, 2007

Wow, great minds think alike. I just emailed a couple of the more demented IB dudes with *my* idea for a similar post.

My suggestion;

“I Just Got a Great Hummer”

4. Whipped cream and cherries - July 9, 2007

Mwa ha ha haa

It can get worse.

5. is there anything better than bacon - July 9, 2007

it will get worse

6. Mayonnaise and bacon - July 9, 2007

Yum

7. Rosie - July 9, 2007

Yummier

8. Mayonnaise and bacon - July 9, 2007

Hey bacon,

How’d you get here before me?

Biotch!

9. Ketchup and large curd cottage cheese - July 9, 2007

where’s the party?

10. Rosie is - July 9, 2007

scrub that outta ya head

11. Three specially-trained German Shepherds - July 9, 2007

amateur punks

12. Baked beans and ice cream - July 9, 2007

Yeah baby.

13. Pupster Gets Doggy - July 9, 2007

Biotch!

Indeed.

14. A loaf of bread, a jug of wine - July 9, 2007

picnic!

15. Batman l - July 9, 2007

heh.

16. Melted cheese and sour cream - July 9, 2007

nacho mama!

17. leather straps and a riding crop - July 9, 2007

talent, natural, or refined ability

http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/127430.html

moderately NSFW

18. Dave Puts His Soft Hands To Work - July 9, 2007

I believe we have created a whole new literary genre here.

19. A fat naked woman with hairy nipples - July 9, 2007

grease me up

20. An Ewok - July 9, 2007

Hey, what are you looking at?

21. Laura planted something special - July 9, 2007

didn’t know you rolled that way

22. Wickedpinto after twelve beers - July 9, 2007

True story.

23. Mesablue secretly desires to urinate - July 9, 2007

You guys are killing me

24. Nice Deb - July 9, 2007

Brain cleanser.

25. Nice Deb climbs - July 9, 2007

you too?

goodness.

26. skinbad irons his shirts - July 9, 2007

Some guys just don’t know how to seize an opportunity.

27. Wynona - July 9, 2007

Stop pickin’ on me!

28. Cuffy Meigs - July 9, 2007

You guys are so juvenile.

dammit.

29. Wicked Pinto Had A Beard - July 9, 2007

But he shaved it using hand lotion.
True Story.

30. Michael smokes his meat - July 9, 2007

He does brag on that smoker.

31. Richard Simmons with a bucket of fried chicken - July 9, 2007

Sweat baby!

32. Michael ate his sammich - July 9, 2007

with Dijon mustard

33. Nice Deb isdefinitely NOT - July 9, 2007

Who’s using my name?

Suckas gonna diiiiiieee!

34. Kevlarchick reads trashy novels - July 9, 2007

It enhances the experience.

35. Michael ate his sammich - July 9, 2007

with hot sauce from Belize — Marie Sharp’s!

36. Lipstick - July 9, 2007

Hi guys! How is everyone today?

oh … crap …

37. Lauraw digs for tubers - July 9, 2007

Found in dark, moist places.

38. The Seven Dwarfs have a Mazola party - July 9, 2007

Slip slidin away..

And into the spam bucket.

39. Lipstick paints her toenails - July 9, 2007

hi Lipstick

40. France - July 9, 2007

Do I smell — love?

41. Dave plants his banana tree - July 9, 2007

She’s so earthy.

42. Japan - July 9, 2007

banzai!

43. One of those big blue tarpaulins - July 9, 2007

Ululululululululu!

44. I think I'm going to be sick - July 9, 2007

when this is all played out, you guys have to own up to your creations. Funny, funny stuff. I’m dying.

-lauraw

45. Bart feels most at home - July 9, 2007

mommy!

46. Steven Seagal is . . . - July 9, 2007

I’m just a cook.

47. Apollo 11 lands - July 9, 2007

That’s one small step for Man, one giant le—{slips on greased thigh}

48. Spudder - July 9, 2007

Hey, leave me out of this.

Sick bastards.

49. Pony paws and snorts - July 9, 2007

Thought I was dead, didn’t ya?

50. A hobo - July 9, 2007

Lunch!

51. Retired Geezer shines a spotlight - July 9, 2007

Someday I’ll quit this job in Reno.

52. Hey, isn't that Tushar - July 9, 2007

no, sorry, it’s just a pimple

53. Won't need Vr@gra - July 9, 2007

Well… maybe not.

54. Gen. MacArthur arrives in Manilla - July 9, 2007

I have retur—-who’s frying baloney?!

55. Flyin' Brian lands his chopper - July 9, 2007

That’s not what I meant by “landing strip!”

56. Flyin Brian lands his helicopter - July 9, 2007

Sorry, I’m a little off course.

57. Flyin Brian lands his helicopter - July 9, 2007

Holy Crap!

Who was that?

58. my bet's - July 9, 2007

what is less disgusting, a fat naked woman with greased thighs or your bathroom after compos has visited?

59. Bart tries out his new 7 blade razor - July 9, 2007

It only stings for a moment.

60. Nice Deb - July 9, 2007

Wasn’t me.

61. Nice Deb - July 9, 2007

Hey, stop that!

62. Nice Deb - July 9, 2007

No!

63. Nice Deb - July 9, 2007

Yes!

64. Nice Deb - July 9, 2007

Ooh!

65. Sandy runs his Roomba - July 9, 2007

It gets most of the lint.

66. Hot Carl - July 9, 2007

Am I needed here?

67. Fortune Cookie says "You will find true love" - July 9, 2007

Lucky Numbers 85 24 61 69

68. Dave conceals weapons - July 9, 2007

Don’t even ask.

69. We lost sight of Brewfan after he dove - July 9, 2007

For God’s sake, somebody throw him a rope!

70. Retired Geezer - July 9, 2007

Gotta go pick up FB at the airport for a 3 hour layover.

Sorry to miss all the fun.

Pope out.

71. Allah is all over - July 9, 2007

A virgin is a virgin.

She is a virgin, right?

Ah, what the hell.

72. Pioneers tamed the West - July 9, 2007

It is our Manifest Dest—who ate all the damned Funions?!

73. Eddiebear wears a snorkel while - July 9, 2007

He’s smarter than Brewfan

74. Quint - July 9, 2007

We need a bigger boat.

The eyes!

Oh shit, thats not the eyes!!!

75. Flying monkeys descend - July 9, 2007

Wow, Dorothy’s changed.

76. Haley Joel Osment - July 9, 2007

I see fat people. (with greased thighs)

77. Brewfan fries fish - July 9, 2007

*sniff*

THIS ISN’T TARTAR SAUCE.

78. Mesablue went limp - July 9, 2007

Damn!

79. Brewfan - July 9, 2007

Wonders what all the fuss is about.

We don’t call em corn fed for nothin’.

80. Sir Edmund Hilary ascends Everest - July 9, 2007

It is my karma that I lost my sherpa in the smegma.

81. mesablue - July 9, 2007

I should hope so.

Gotta have some standards.

82. The Orkin Man sprayed - July 9, 2007

I thought I saw spiders!

83. Pony jumps - July 9, 2007

better than sofa

84. Eating Reese's Cups - July 9, 2007

Your chocolate is in my peanut butter!

Wait a minute.

85. Scandi bastard - July 9, 2007

What are you guys doing with my wife?

86. Nice Deb tries a "facial" - July 9, 2007

I hear it’s good for wrinkles

87. Andy Rooney - July 9, 2007

Didjaeverwonder why Crisco is so slippe—-{breaks hip}

88. mesablue - July 9, 2007

That is so no me.

No way I’m getting blamed for that one.

89. mesablue - July 9, 2007

Once again in english — It wasn’t me!

90. You discovered your mom - July 9, 2007

SHUT THE DOOR!

SHUT THE DOOR!

91. Mesa gets all lightheaded when he's - July 9, 2007

hey, any port in a storm, ya know?

92. Jerry Seinfeld - July 9, 2007

And what’s the deal with cellulite? Discount mobile phone service? I mean, what’s up with tha—MY turkeyleg! MINE! BACK! BACK, BEAST!

93. Seriously, dudes, I was just walking by and I tripped, and I landed - July 9, 2007

I hate it when my friends catch me on a moped, too.

94. Bart danced the limbo - July 9, 2007

he’s very flexible

95. Wickedpinto reminisces - July 9, 2007

I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad.

True story.

96. I wonder if they took photos of Amy Polumbo - July 9, 2007
97. Retired Geezer Installs a Swamp Cooler & 52' Ceiling Fan - July 9, 2007

then goes to layover with Flyin’ Brian? WTF?

98. Geoff charts the slope - July 9, 2007

I’m pretty sure this whole thread is regression.

99. Dave in Texas Drips Hot Wax - July 9, 2007

and she *loves* it.

100. geoff tries a wedge of Edam - July 9, 2007

pretty sure you’re right geoff

101. Michael does stream-crossings while - July 9, 2007

I don’t want to get mud on my truck.

102. Smart Geoff Charts All The Points - July 9, 2007

and runs out of lead in his pencil.

103. Spurwing Plover Lands - July 9, 2007

and vows to post at Ace’s again and never return here.

104. Lassie comes home - July 9, 2007

Finally.

105. I saw Santa Claus - July 9, 2007

Ho Ho Ho

106. Lassie comes - July 9, 2007

This would be worse, wouldn’t it?

107. Lassie Finds Timmy In The Well - July 9, 2007

Worse

108. A guy with a small dick - July 9, 2007

It’s the ocean in the motion!

109. Lassie finds mommy in the well - July 9, 2007

Not so bad…

110. Good God, How Did I Get - July 9, 2007

Jes’ mindin’ my own bidness, and then I see this.

geoff

111. Lassie - July 9, 2007

Not my mommy you sicko’s!

112. Knut - July 9, 2007

mommy?

113. A fat hairy naked woman with greased thighs - July 9, 2007

What did you expect?

-Rosie

114. Rosie - July 9, 2007

Hey Deb,

I’ve been here for a while. What took you so long?

We’ve got room for you right here — between us.

115. Bob Barker - July 9, 2007

Hey! This ain’t Nip/Tuck!

116. Geraldo Rivera prefers to be - July 9, 2007

Hey, beats the hell out of Bette Midler

117. A fat naked woman with hairy nipples - July 9, 2007

Hey,

I’m back!

Deb, when did you get here?

And Rosie, you look hot in those lederhosen!

118. How many times has WP woken up - July 9, 2007

is there even a number that high?

119. Wickedpinto - July 9, 2007

Oh my god not again.

120. Wickedpinto - July 9, 2007

I’m not good at this stuff, but LW is right, this is some funny shit.

121. Algore - July 9, 2007

At least I’m not releasing any carbon emissions.

122. Al Gore Plants CO2 - July 9, 2007

and holds *Live Girth* concert

123. Geritol tests it's easy-open bottlecaps - July 9, 2007

She laughs when we hear that little popping sound.

124. Fred Thompson Passes - July 9, 2007

Says he doesn’t need her. He has Jeri.

125. Tushar D Makes First Comment - July 9, 2007

then stays very, very quiet so we don’t use his name. Tactic does not work.

126. Tushar rolls his cigars - July 9, 2007

interesting

127. Dave in Texas prefers his tattoos - July 9, 2007

they hurt less that way.

128. Mike Rowe bathes - July 9, 2007

Dirty job!

129. narziss - July 9, 2007

yuk. pewk.

Now I’ve lost my appetite. Oh wait…I already had my dinner!

130. Mike Rowe bathes - July 9, 2007

grrr…I’m a moron!

131. Tushar does the work Americans just won't do - July 9, 2007

below minimum wage

132. Tushar does the work Americans just won't do - July 9, 2007

And enoys it much more than is sanely possible.

133. Tushar does the work Americans just won't do - July 9, 2007

And brings you a Pim’s and tonic afterwards.

134. This old man, he played five, he played nick-nack - July 9, 2007

paddywack

135. Aww, come on... like no one here has ever been - July 9, 2007

admit it.

136. Bruce Campbell is... - July 9, 2007

Experience it baby!

137. Nothing could be finer then to be in Carolina in the morning - July 9, 2007

As sung by Daffy Duck

138. Cuffy leads the charge - July 9, 2007

REMEMBER THE ALAMO!

139. Skinbad has a mission - July 9, 2007

*bing bong*

140. Bill Clinton - July 9, 2007

I did not have sex with that particular fold on that woman.

141. Pupster has emission - July 9, 2007

Who’s got a handi-wipe?

142. No Way Will I Climb - July 9, 2007

This is silly bawdy stuff — but I’m amused.

143. I can't find the wet spot - July 9, 2007

Somebody got some flour?

144. I love to go a wandering - July 9, 2007

Valerie! Valerah!
Valer ah ah ah ah ah ah…

145. Lady M watches Michael - July 9, 2007

Busted! Buddy!

146. The wet spot - July 9, 2007

Over heeeeeeere!

147. Mrs. Michael found the Bat Cape - July 9, 2007

we’re so retarded.

I love it.

148. I'm sofa king wee todd did - July 9, 2007

But I’m having huuuge fun!

149. Buffalo Bill - July 9, 2007

it puts the lotion on its ski—-{slips, falls down well}

150. There ain't nothing sexier than a hump - July 9, 2007

Hmmmm……

151. No smoking - July 9, 2007

For your own safety!

152. Was that Dave in his pool - July 9, 2007

He needs a bigger floatie

153. Dripping hot wet parafin - July 9, 2007

My mother would totaly crushes on Mike Rowe, and if she found him on that broad, my life would be unliveable for about *checks watch* eternity.

154. Wickedpinto - July 9, 2007

had to reset, I’m too flighty to act otherwise.

155. Lipstick Takes A Cruise - July 9, 2007

She plans to get off at every port.

156. Lauraw left a bottle of ketchup, an oven mitt, and a box of batteries - July 9, 2007

this doesn’t make any sense to me but it will look good.

157. Bart pays triple the normal rate to hop - July 9, 2007

but that’s just because he cares.

158. Wiserbud spent his last paycheck - July 9, 2007

He was lonely

159. Polls Say McCain is losing traction - July 9, 2007

Experts predict he will slide further down.

160. Paul Simon - July 9, 2007

Slip slidin’ away…
Slip slidin’ away…

The nearer your destination
the more ya slip slidin away…

161. how much wood would a woodchuck chuck - July 9, 2007

well, ya know, if a woodchuck could, ya know, actually chuck wood and junk.

162. Mitt Romney Reverses His Position - July 9, 2007

He does not want to lose traction like McCain.

163. Barack Obama seeks unity - July 9, 2007

He’s a healer.

164. Ron Paul proposes a new currency based - July 9, 2007

F-AT CURRENCY!

165. Hillary Clinton Speaks in Tongues - July 9, 2007

Gives away her position on same sex marriage

166. John Kerry Swears He Has Never Changed His Position - July 9, 2007

Any statements that seem contradictory on that point were manufactured by the Republican smear machine.

167. Dennis Kucinich attends COMICON - July 9, 2007

P.I.M.P.

168. Mike Gravel likes to stare at you while - July 9, 2007

Intensity.

169. John Edwards gets his taint waxed by Cristano - July 9, 2007

Two Americas.

170. Between Bill and Hillary, who has spent more time - July 9, 2007

Mmmmmm, greased cankles…….

171. Matt Damon - July 9, 2007

Matt Damon!

172. A Burka - July 9, 2007

Now we know why.

173. Wickedpinto - July 9, 2007

I love you burka

174. Ace no longer likes Bush - July 9, 2007

The immigration bill was the last straw.

175. Angie's sweet, but I bet Brad would much rather be - July 9, 2007

I mean, it isn’t like he signed on for all those freakin’ kids.

176. ...and we'll drive out of a - July 9, 2007

Have you seen my keys?

177. Dick Cheney's You-Know-What locks - July 9, 2007

It can’t be stopped

178. Bon Scott - July 9, 2007

I like Rosie’s big arse. She’s a whole lot of woman.

179. Bon Scott - July 9, 2007

Where’s Angus? I think she crushed the little tosser.

180. Miyagi the beautician - July 9, 2007

Wax on! Wax off!

181. Slumberous growth - July 9, 2007

Here, use my razor.

182. dead lolcat - July 9, 2007

I’m in ur bedz

dying on ur thighz

183. a fat naked woman with greased thighs on a fat naked woman with greased thighs - July 9, 2007

on a fat naked woman with greased thighs, ad infinitum.

184. BrewFan - July 9, 2007

John Edwards gets his taint waxed by Cristano – July 9, 2007

That made me laugh out loud at work. The new guy in the next cubicle got a little scared, I think. Way to go, Cuffy!

185. Iron Crotch Kung Fu « The Hostages - July 10, 2007

[...] I guess I’m stuck on penes today. That and fat naked woman with greased thighs. [...]

186. I'm eating a hearty McDonald's breakfast - July 22, 2007

I told her she could have one of my hash browns.

187. Pupster finds linky-love - July 22, 2007

And Michael’s jealous…

188. ăn tôi - July 23, 2007

^

Just for you, Brew.

189. Rodin's Thinker - July 30, 2007

Just picking up this thread again so all the new readers can see the kind of rigorous cranial activity that normally goes on in here.

190. Sakimichi - August 3, 2007

lol

191. Barry Bonds - August 9, 2007

Home Run!

192. Michael - August 9, 2007

Jeez, I just read this entire thread again and nearly died laughing.

193. lauraw drinks beer and contemplates the future - August 9, 2007

Hope someone can think up another fun headline with which to exploit the ‘recent comments’ column. I’m drawing a blank now.

194. Sliding in the crack - August 22, 2007

grate laffs heer

195. lauraw cries and pounds her fists - November 2, 2007

Damn you! Damn you!
I still haven’t found another good title yet.

196. Cuffy Meigs - November 2, 2007

Winston fails a “sketch the pirate” art school mail-in test

197. Winston fails a “sketch the pirate” art school mail-in test - November 2, 2007

it’s been too long since we did this…

198. Lipstick - November 2, 2007

Hi everybody! What’s so funny?

199. Michael - November 2, 2007

Lipstick, you have to read the “Search Engine Hits” thread to get this.

200. Lipstick - November 2, 2007

I was just making a little joke.

201. amish gets a sitting ovation - November 3, 2007

Howdy folks,

I have no idea what this thread is about but heres a video that i think fits:

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=1111379312&fr=yfp-t-471

Or not.

202. lauraw dries her tears - November 3, 2007

Did you check out the post at the top, Amish? I can’t believe you missed this thread.
You could have added some quality filth to the mix.

203. Colonel Angus - November 3, 2007

Have I been here before?

204. lauraw defrosts frozen chickens - November 3, 2007

Tomorrow I’m making soup.

205. Mr Minority - November 3, 2007

Tomorrow I’m making soup.

Thanks for the heads up. We’ll probably see something about it on CNN later tonight.

206. Dave tosses a dead chupacabra - November 3, 2007

It’s the last gardening week of the season up there.

You have to respect that.

207. imagine tear away underwear - November 3, 2007

Just ponder it.

In color.

208. Michael Sucks - November 4, 2007

just sayin….

209. I had a dream - November 4, 2007

The maid is going to hate me.

210. Lunch is - November 4, 2007

For today’s lunch: chicken cultet parm w/ziti

211. Dave eats his chili out of the navel of - November 4, 2007

Thats a spicy meata-ball! Love ya, big guy :)

212. BrewFan's joke falls flat - November 4, 2007

dammit.

213. lauraw giggles and jumps up and down - November 5, 2007

It’s like a really warm trampoline that you pour leftovers into.

214. lauraw dries her tomatoes - November 5, 2007

The humidity is just right.

215. the best laid plans are - November 5, 2007

What does this mean?

216. George Patton directs tank traffic standing - November 5, 2007

Rommel, you magnificient bastard! I read your boo — {trips over Costco size Crisco can}

217. Rosetta gets all woozy and dreamy-eyed when he's slathering lotion - November 5, 2007

it’s almost like he’s back to his pre-op days.

218. Cuffy Meigs find comfort - November 5, 2007

mother?

219. that's not chili - November 5, 2007

Just a warning, that’s not chili.

220. Has anyone seen Wickepinto since he went and jumped - November 5, 2007

Someone check the folds!

221. George Clooney Opens a Can of Whoop-Ass - November 7, 2007

About all he can handle

222. Fabio Has Taught Nipples - November 7, 2007

Hunchbacks are irresistible!

223. Clooney waxes Fabio's taint - November 7, 2007

Good night and good luck!

224. lauraw's nipple fetish make me want to jump - November 7, 2007

It’s hawt.

225. Michael gnaws on a brillo pad he found - November 7, 2007

Nipples are awesome.

226. lauraw waits patiently for hubby to bring her breakfast - November 11, 2007

I’m really quite hungry.

227. Megan lost her raspberry torte somewhere - November 16, 2007

Welcome to IB, Megan.

228. BrewFan pwns the Most Recent Comments and celebrates by bouncing - November 18, 2007

Hi

229. Mrs. Peel loses her resolve and gives in to her boyfriend - November 18, 2007

*cackle*

230. Packers Beat Cowboys So Badly TO Uses His Sharpie to Write A Suicide Note - November 18, 2007

Headlines From The Future: November 29th, 2007

231. lauraw is eating a meatball parm and trying not to think too much - November 21, 2007

don’t think about it
don’t think about it
just chew

232. Dave in Texas found lauraw sitting - November 21, 2007

I was aroused too.

233. How about a nice turkey sandwich - November 21, 2007

Hold the cheese and the mayo, extra gravy

234. Retired Geezer blows mosquitos on - November 21, 2007

You have no idea how hard this is.

235. I left my condoms and applesauce - November 21, 2007

takes effort, that’s true

236. I want my MTV - November 21, 2007

Mo9ney for nothin’, and your chicks for free.

237. All Michigan can get right now is some fun on - November 21, 2007

How many batteries does it take to beat Michigan?

1-AA

238. Where do you put a holster - November 21, 2007

Concealed Carry

239. I'm roasting marshmallows - November 21, 2007

smores!

240. have you tried The Time Warp - November 21, 2007

but it’s the pelvic thrust, that’ll drive you insaya yayayayyaaaaane

241. Bret Favre is rubbing his nuts - November 21, 2007

John Madden would not approve

242. lauraw found a cave painting of a prehistoric bison painted - November 21, 2007

it’s not really a painting, she had a side of beef and rolled over on it

243. Dave blistered his tongue - November 21, 2007

Not as easy as it sounds

244. Indians taught Pilgrims how to plant corn - November 21, 2007

They used dead fish as fertilizer.

I don’t know what that means.

245. Gravy, mashed potatos, cheese sauce and peas - November 21, 2007

Dude, where’s my stuffing?

246. there's a hairy pus-filled boil - November 21, 2007

mmmm… turducken

247. Assembling a Turducken - November 21, 2007

Any food that begins with ‘turd’ has to be good.

248. there's a hairy pus-filled boil - November 21, 2007

mmmm… turducken

249. a glass of cold gravy with a hair in it - November 21, 2007

your gonna need something to wash that turducken down with

250. paging mr dobalina. Mr. bob dobalina - November 21, 2007

251. Goodness Gracious - Great Balls for Hire - November 21, 2007

Ive heard that there is a fortune to be made selling sperm to sperm banks. And since those finicky bastards at the sperm bank hung up on me when i asked if i could just bring in one of the sheets off of my bed as a deposit, ive decided to start my own business in my home.

Its the American way.

252. Momma! What Is Daddy Doing - November 21, 2007

Well I’ll Be!

253. Dave Wants to Perform a Bikini Wax - November 21, 2007

With his teeth!

254. would you love to see a goat, a canary, and a transient workin for a livin - November 21, 2007

gang bang

255. If being an Ewok Pedearst is Wrong - I dont Wanna Be Right - November 21, 2007

Nub Nub

256. lauraw dresses a turkey - November 22, 2007

-hey.

Where did the little pants made of bread go?

257. I prematurely spilled all my giblets - November 22, 2007

I don’t think it’s fair to call it premature if I’ve been thinking about it all day.

258. There's something and I can't make out what it is - November 23, 2007

It looks like a…SWEET JESUS.

259. I can't tell if that's a dinner roll or a skin tag - November 24, 2007

It seems to be attached somehow but that doesn’t mean much here.

260. I'm wiping my drumstick - November 24, 2007

It’s like a butter sauce.

261. That ain't hollandaise - November 24, 2007

Dave was here.

262. shaving cream doesn't feel as good as my face - November 24, 2007

it’s all about the lubrication

263. I am dipping my moustaches and a pair of tube socks - November 24, 2007

and it feel goooood.

264. "Show me your Goodies Granma!" - November 24, 2007

He screamed into his pillow.

265. Amish reminisces about Dolly Parton and smokes a blunt - November 24, 2007

Where should I stub this out, darlin’?

266. Amish reminisces about Dolly Parton and smokes a blunt - November 24, 2007

Where should I stub this out, darlin?

267. meatballs in a delightful teriyaki sauce - December 11, 2007

I couldn’t stop myself.

268. lauraw pushes a mop around - December 11, 2007

Bath day.

269. Santa Claus shouts "On Comet! On Cupid! On Donner! - December 13, 2007

Dash away all!

270. Retired Geezer - December 13, 2007

^ Very Clever.

*Gives Cuffy a high five*

271. Santa peruses his Christmas list - December 13, 2007

She’s more comfortable than the sofa, and I have places to file stacks of papers.

272. Cathy wraps Christmas presents - December 15, 2007

Fa la la la la la, la la la laaa

Put your finger there while I tie the bow…NO, NOT THERE EWWW

273. Michael is rubbing his snickerdoodle - December 15, 2007

A cookie? Uh, no thanks.

274. A Redtail hawk dive-bombs a squirrel - December 16, 2007

THAT’S NOT A SQUIRREL.

ABORT MISSION. ABORT MISSION.

GAAAAHHH

275. Dave gets so emotional about the holidays after spending the weekend - December 17, 2007

Yeah, but who doesn’t, this time of year?

276. Lionel Ritchie performs - December 17, 2007

You’re once….twice…three times a WHOOPS!..{slips and breaks hip}

277. Mr. Minority skinny dips in an icy lake - December 20, 2007

It’s like a TOITLE!
/costanza

278. Cathy cackles like a total dork while re-reading comments - December 20, 2007

*feelin’ good*

279. lauraw rubs her homemade tortillas - December 20, 2007

yes. homemade tortillas are in fact, code words.

280. Lipstick puts a smiley face using a dozen martini olives - December 20, 2007

shaken, not stirred

281. Cathy baked Snickerdoodle cookies for Michael to eat - December 20, 2007

Happy Holidaze

282. lauraw leaves a Christmas present for Sandy - December 22, 2007

Sandy still have the hots for Condi? He hasn’t mentioned it in a long time.

283. Michael rubs his candy cane - December 22, 2007

hmmmm!

284. Michael hangs the stockings with care - December 23, 2007

There arose such a clatter!

285. sandy hardens his heart - December 23, 2007

Damn.

But no, I don’t have a crush on Condi any more. I’ve moved on.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself, day after day, hour after hour…

286. Pupster furiously humps a fold of flesh - December 24, 2007

Being hung like a chihuahua has its benefits.

287. Rosetta hangs his mistletoe - December 25, 2007

oh hell no I can’t watch this.

288. Amish feels uninspired - December 25, 2007

Funny. This usually perks me right up. sigh

289. Ron Paul got the idea for his blimp while riding - December 27, 2007

RON PAUL!

290. Bart tones his glutes - December 30, 2007

34….35….36….37….38….39…..40

Hold on babe, I gotta rest between sets.

291. Bart spins paranoid conspiracy theories - December 31, 2007

They’re all in on it….Lipstick, Michael, Dave in Texas…all of them.

Stop rolling your eyes at me and LISTEN.

292. Michael plans his escape to Canada while riding - January 3, 2008

To Huckle-bee or not to Huckle-bee… that is the question.

293. Who farted - January 5, 2008

I blame the dog

294. Dickhole, NH voter sleds to poll - January 8, 2008

First in the Nation! I’m casting my ballot for Oba—{slips on a slick of bacon fat}

295. Just so he can lick it off, Michael pours Marie Sharp's Hot Sauce - January 11, 2008

Hope you and Cathy are enjoying your vacation. 41 days until mine. Not that I’m counting…

296. Dr Phil Holds an Intervention - January 13, 2008

297. Dave in Texas is soooo Cold...[How Cold Is He?]...He Made a Campfire - January 18, 2008

Good thing you don’t live up here!

298. Amish watches old movies - January 19, 2008

Comedies are the best because when she laughs, it’s like being on a vibrating bed.

299. Oven-Fried Chicken Monterey « Balance Sheet - January 20, 2008

[...] a 15½x10½x2-inch baking pan.  Place chicken in pan, turning once to butter surfaces.  Roll each thigh in crushed chips and return to baking [...]

300. wd drools and draws bad comics - January 25, 2008

Lady, can I touch your pee-pee?

301. Dave in Texas gives his stump speech - January 25, 2008

She weighs four score and seven tons

302. Mr. & Mrs. Geezer Like Doing The Funky Chicken - February 1, 2008

W.I.W.T.

303. Sobek rubs his salty comment spam - February 12, 2008

Curse you, woman…curse you woman…..ohhhh

304. Sobek practices his Farsi swear words - February 12, 2008

She loves it when I whisper them in her ear.

305. did cuffy meigs get lost - February 18, 2008

haven’t see him in a while

306. It's OK to edit out the penis - February 24, 2008

It’s just an unfortunately-shaped mole, anyway.

307. marco lombardozzi - February 29, 2008

wee!

u r shud be 2

308. How To Serve Man some kickass pork and clams - March 10, 2008

Basically, you start by sauteeing some leeks…

309. Eating corned beef & cabbage - March 17, 2008

Erin go BARF!
/1983madmagazine

310. A pair of 54D's -- Double-D's! -- - March 20, 2008
311. lauraw is making dessert - March 22, 2008

Grand Marnier

312. amish is leading a search and rescue mission - March 22, 2008

Where ya been hunchback?

And where the hell are Mr Minority and Sandy Berger for that matter?

313. Dave in Texas wants to see LauraW - March 22, 2008

that was me goofing on Laura.

314. amish hoisted by his own retard - March 22, 2008

Damn. I hate being fooled by sock puppets. Thats my shtick.

315. lauraw doesn't feel like herself unless she's - March 25, 2008

Sorry guys, the shop has been keeping me very busy. Figures, right when I want to sell it.

Dave, you should see these crazy amps I took in yesterday. One is a small Kustom thingy with like, squishy, shiny, diner-booth upholstery installed on the outside of the cabinet. Looks like the old seats in my mom’s Ford Fairlane 500.

And then there’s this other big one, weighs 105 lbs., the cover says ‘Orange’ on the front of it. I pulled the cover up a bit and the cabinet is actually orange.

Also took in yesterday: Barry Bonds autographed bat with crystal case; Dick Butkus autographed helmet with case; a Bradshaw/ Long autographed football with case; a sword in a frame, a fake rifle in a frame; the keyboard & supporting electronics from a Leslie Hammond organ (that one’s going to the Philippines, kaching!)….

That is how the last couple-three weeks have been going for me. Well, plus all the special Easter kielbasas that had to get flown around the country last week.

Gonna go make myself some eggs now and get crackalackin’ on the stuff that didn’t get finished yesterday.

If I don’t see ya, have a great day peeps.

316. Dave in Texas - March 25, 2008

Orange is a brand, used to be a Brit company, not sure now. They’ve been around since the 60s. I know Jimmy Page has used them from time to time.

317. lauraw steals another minute to bounce around - March 25, 2008

Looks exactly like the big one in this pic.

http://www.orangeamps.com/cabinets/

Should really get in the habit of keeping a camera at work.

318. plugging my Fender strat - March 25, 2008

Never played one, they have a good reputation.

319. Bart is waiting around for people to comment - April 10, 2008

There’s room for one more on here.

At least.

320. the cicadas are swarming - April 28, 2008

kinda slippery here

321. Sobek is Going to Spend his Economic Stimulus - April 28, 2008

Money in the bank.

322. Marlboro Man is wearing chaps - April 28, 2008

Git-a-long! Little Lady!

323. It's damn near impossible to keep these chaps - April 28, 2008

too slippery

324. The Marlboro Man throws a saddle - April 28, 2008

*HAAAACK* *COUGH, COUGH*

*WHHEEEZZE*

*SNRT, SNORT*

*HWUUURKK, PTOOIE*

OK.
Let’s get this rodeo started, Ma’am….

325. All Fours « Balance Sheet - April 29, 2008

[...] 29, 2008 by cranky Stealing an idea from Innocent Bystanders and The [...]

326. A salted rim and mayonnaise - May 5, 2008

Happy Cinco de Mayo, amigos!

327. I saw your kid smoking dope - May 5, 2008

She was pissed that he didn’t bring brownies.

328. I saw your kid spark up a fatty - May 5, 2008

Saw him light a joint, too

329. I spilled my bong - May 5, 2008

And it smells awful

330. Cuffy sets up his Hot Wheels track - May 5, 2008
331. Cuffy embarks on a trauma-triggered killing spree - May 5, 2008

Like that dude that stole the army tank.

332. Lipstick releases three buttered ferrets - May 9, 2008

It’s Love Time.

333. I Shined My Bald Head On - May 9, 2008

Nothing sez love better than a free wax job!

334. skinbad searches for piercings - May 16, 2008

I found one!

Oh- nope, that ain’t it.

Anybody got a wetnap?

335. LauraW likes rubbing baby oil on the Skeletor tat - May 16, 2008

she told me this and I’m telling the WORLD

336. Michael focuses his Lutheran Mind Rays - May 16, 2008

You are getting sleepy…

337. Mrs. Peel checks for Cottonmouths - May 19, 2008

Found one!

Oh, wait , that’s not a- EWWW

338. Flame - May 27, 2008

I’m all for conservation of movement on humans!

339. Flame falls forward - May 27, 2008

Wow! This is fun when grease is involved!

340. Glenn Reynolds finds signs of intelligent life - May 29, 2008

ET phone home!

341. joey crawford lost his whistle - May 29, 2008

Lakers. Can the Celtics hold up their end of the deal? David Stern is a happy man.

342. Kobe's MVP trophy - June 18, 2008

Doesn’t look quite so impressive at the moment.

343. composmentis - June 19, 2008

Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poup

344. compos mentis - June 19, 2008

Yeah, you know, that didn’t turn out anything like I wanted it to. I need a coffee fix in a bad way. Now if I can just slide off this big bitch without waking her up, I’ll get my sorry ass to the kitchen.

345. composmentis adjusts the low rise v-thong - June 19, 2008

unclear on the concept

346. I found a surprise - June 19, 2008

I find that not only is it okay to laugh at my own stupidity, it’s actually necessary if I’m going to make it through the day :P

347. xbradtc has his finger on the trigger - June 24, 2008

I am never going to get tired of this gag.

348. Lauraw pinches - June 25, 2008

but her fingers keep slipping

349. John Hancock signs his name with a Sharpie - July 3, 2008

“When in the course of human events, it becomes neces — who’s frying baloney?!

Happy (early) Independence Day!

350. Pupster is lighting an M80 - July 3, 2008

the tension was palpable…

351. Give me liberty or give me 10 minutes - July 3, 2008

1.5 minutes if you’re Michael. Happy 4th!

352. Michael - July 3, 2008

What do I do with the extra 30 seconds?

353. Michael Moore with a roman candle in his squeakhole - July 3, 2008

Oh say can you see…

354. Mr Minority - July 3, 2008

What do I do with the extra 30 seconds?

Turn over.

355. Where do I put this bottle rocket - July 3, 2008

The fuse keeps going out.

356. Pupster disappeared while going down - July 3, 2008

SSSlllluuuuuuurpppPOP!

357. The redcoats are coming - July 3, 2008

ewwwww.

358. I regret that I have but one load to leave - July 3, 2008

Nathal Hale out.

359. skinbad tests the watermelon theory - July 3, 2008

If you’re spitting seeds after 4 hours seek medical attention immediately!

360. Sobek practices his scary looks - July 4, 2008

I thought that last one frightened her but that was just her burp face.

361. Please! No dogs pooping - July 15, 2008

Ripped from today’s headlines.

362. composmentis plants his boots - July 16, 2008

size matters

363. eddiebear left his hot pocket - July 17, 2008

and he still ate it

364. Dave in Texas searches for the Secret Spot - July 17, 2008

Just praying for Camel Lips.

365. A Shirtless (Yet Not Gay) USC Football Player - July 17, 2008

I prefer other shirtless football players to this.

366. Micheal put a down payment - July 17, 2008

Fixed interest

367. Hugh Jackman writes love letters to the IB ladies - July 19, 2008

I need another can of Krylon…

368. eddiebear moistens his Nagant - July 21, 2008

Wow! That’s a big bore!

369. Retired Geezer squirts WD-40 - July 21, 2008

He won’t use it on his gun, though

370. Twin moose dance in sprinkler - July 27, 2008

Splish-Splash!

371. Peter and Paul - August 2, 2008

Where have all the chocolate chip cookies gone?
She’s eaten them, every one.

372. Dave in Texas displaces 12 gallons of water - August 10, 2008

Ker-Splash

373. Gustav zeroes in - August 31, 2008

can you put shutters on that?

374. Obama organizes a community - September 4, 2008

Sarah Palin field dresses a fat naked walrus.

375. Michael rewrites his blog mission statement - September 21, 2008

“…I had a…had a…a dream…”

*SOB*

376. Joe Biden plays with his over and under - September 21, 2008

Am I cool!?

377. lauraw hides a NSFW video - September 24, 2008

Please do not view this video of a drunken hobo.
Don’t do it.

378. skinbad unfortunately doesn't follow instructions - September 24, 2008

Offisher? The lass thing I ‘member is putting some weeds in my bourbon.

379. nancy pelosi loses 700 billion dollars - September 29, 2008

For a lap dance

380. What can Brown do - October 11, 2008

I think this is gonna call for Additional Handling.

381. A four point buck - October 30, 2008

I’ll mess up your radiator and I’ve still got enough left to do this! How you like me now?!

382. TGWFADD lays - October 30, 2008

Wow! This is really warm!

383. Dave loses all his beer tubing - November 6, 2008

They slipped away from me!

384. Past performance not an indication of future results - November 8, 2008

Well, actually it is. AND HOW.

385. Michael - November 8, 2008

^

That made me laugh.

386. What Lipstick invested - November 8, 2008

stays in Vegas

387. Dave in a hot tub - November 8, 2008

Oh yeah

388. Michael Likes Watching His Asset Grow - November 8, 2008

Oooh baby, I love it when you expose your risk

389. Michael Exploring His Options - November 8, 2008

hold. . hold… oh yeah! yeah! SELL SELL RIGHT NOW BABY!

390. Geezer fried his modem - November 8, 2008

Crap, no intertubes for a week.

391. There's ticking and beeping coming from under a fold - November 10, 2008

Wait….

OK, it stopped.

Nevermind.

392. Michael - November 18, 2008

test

393. Michael's Test - November 18, 2008

Fail

394. Would you rather lay on an abandoned couch or - November 23, 2008

What are those stains? No, I mean the ones on the lady.

395. Michigan Wolverines' Hairless Asses Slide - November 23, 2008

Maybe this is our problem!

396. Pupster sucks a shot of whiskey out of a dimple - November 23, 2008

Gives it a nice bacon-y flavor.

397. Sarah Palin and the Art of Answering Hard Interview Questions Part … - November 23, 2008

[...] Comment on a fat naked woman with greased thighs by Joe Biden … [...]

398. Smear your Cranberries Jezebel - November 27, 2008

Tangy!

399. 3,499 fat, drunk German soldiers - December 3, 2008

Hey, where’d Fritz go?

Anybody see where Fritz slipped off to?

400. Two Boxers in a Clearing - December 16, 2008

we can stand it

401. Innocent Bystanders Catapulting Fruitcakes - December 23, 2008

Reached a consensus on the merits of fruitcake.

402. Lauraw bet her Christmas CD collection - December 23, 2008

Win, place or show?

403. skinbad builds a hot tub - December 23, 2008

You gotta climb up the cinder blocks to get on. And in.

404. Michael - December 23, 2008

When LauraW dies, I plan to show up at her funeral and and speak. I am planning my eulogy for Laura.

The eulogy will be about explaining this thread, and how Laura influenced the lives of so many people.

405. xbradtc screws the barrel in properly - January 24, 2009

gotta do it right

406. Daniel James thinks dirty, sinful thoughts while - February 8, 2009

Let me place my hands upon your sweaty thighs and relieve you of your sin, my sweet, sinful, awesomely desirable child.

fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap……..

407. Steve gets arrested again - February 11, 2009

WAAAAAUUUGHHH!

I KNOW MY RIGHTS!
I KNOW MY RIGHTS!

408. lauraw isn't even playing this fucking game with you, motherfucker, - February 11, 2009

404. Michael – December 23, 2008

When LauraW dies, I plan to show up at her funeral and and speak. I am planning my eulogy for Laura.

The eulogy will be about explaining this thread, and how Laura influenced the lives of so many people.

You better hire a hit man AND a time-machine, Motherfucker, because there is no way YOUR old smoke-addled ass is dying before mine.

Jeeezus.

Dream the fuck on, why don’t you.

409. Dave laughed so hard he hacked up half a lung - February 11, 2009

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

hooo boy!

410. lauraw beats a joke dead and stuffs it into a crease - February 12, 2009

Sincerely though. He’ll be at my funeral?

I don’t think so, Methuselah. You’ve got lines on your forehead older than me.

411. Michael's time-traveling hitman shows up too late - February 12, 2009

Damn!

Missed her again!

412. Michael compares the lines on his face to the lines - February 13, 2009

Goddamn, they’re longer!!

413. Lee Redmond breaks a nail while riding - February 14, 2009

Dang! Just might have to help around the house again after being a lazy bitch for almost thirty years.

414. When Michael dies, lauraw will be spreading his ashes - February 14, 2009

You can’t urn your way into heaven, you know.

415. Widow Cathy will be in prison, no longer able to enjoy riding - February 14, 2009

Didn’t read the effin’ manual on how to plan a perfect murder…

416. skinbad takes shelter from the cold - February 24, 2009

The Scouts don’t need to know about this. What would the patch look like, anyway?

417. Skinbad did a lot of work on his knees to access a warm spot - February 24, 2009

That project was shovel ready.

418. Michael conducts a roll call - February 28, 2009

Hoo-boy. Where were we.
Oh, right.

OK, honey, so I’m gonna call this one ‘midsection #2-d.’

That one over there, guess we’ll go with ‘right thigh #6-b, anterior.’

And this one here? ‘Fluffy Throbstarter #2.’

419. Wicked Pinto and Cathy discuss theology - February 28, 2009

… starting with a discussion on the debate between Luther and Erasmus on the Bondage vs. Freedom of the Human Will

420. Some Fly Fisherman on ESPN2 casts his line - March 6, 2009

Catch and release takes on a whole new meaning here!

421. A soiled Snuggee - March 9, 2009

Love stains.

422. An Enraged Roo - March 9, 2009

Hey, he panicked

423. How to use tomatoes - March 13, 2009

Slice them very thin or they don’t go very far…

424. Dave tests the finger length theory - March 13, 2009

And fails

425. Utah Fundamentalist with a Turkey Baster - March 13, 2009

Shit. Forgot the flour.

426. Fleeing the Potato Famine by crossing the Atlantic - March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

http://tinyurl.com/jqfjl

427. xbrad is slapping his gopher - March 17, 2009

rodent abuse

428. Sobek dropped his goat - March 24, 2009

No animals were harmed in the making of this comment

429. A chocolate suppository - April 6, 2009

Now it’s a party!

430. Michael smoked his meat - April 6, 2009

“perfect gentleman”

431. Michael takes some footage of a very, very secret beer cave - April 8, 2009

Tie a rope around his waist, for the love of Pete!

432. Cathy owns the recent comments while sitting pretty - April 9, 2009

I’ve never had this honor before!

433. Sobek slowly and luridly enunciates the F-word while hitting - April 28, 2009

Freeeench tooooaaast

oh yeahhh baby

434. Pupster thinks he can inoculate himself against swine flu - April 29, 2009

He’s got a wrong idea about what ‘antibodies’ are…

435. Michael flicked his Zippo - May 1, 2009

*FOOP*

MEDIC!!!!

436. Lipstick colors her hair while showering - May 16, 2009

Lemme see… What color this month?

437. Michael obsesses about his Flag Counter while sliding - May 16, 2009

Unhealthy? Who says?

438. Dave plants his banana tree - June 1, 2009

who can resist the forbidden garden…

439. geoff defines 'down' - June 1, 2009

That’s down.

And that’s up.

Want to see it again?

OK…

440. geoff can always find the apex - June 1, 2009

Just find the acute angle.

441. geoff finds the center of the triangle - June 2, 2009

People! It’s not that hard.

Wait a second. Yes it is!

442. geoff issues a correction - June 9, 2009

Just a skosh to the left…oh, that’s much, MUCH better….oh yeahhhh….

443. Dave sets seven shots of tequila - June 13, 2009

I may feel like Hell tomorrow but it’s worth it, dammit!

444. A PowerPoint slide of THE CHART is projected - June 17, 2009

“….those, uh, shaded areas there are neither the work of Obama’s economic team nor additions by geoff…disregard those….”

445. Geraghty searches for Charty Goodness but instead finds himself - June 17, 2009

Whoa.
Economics can wait…what’s your name, gorgeous?

446. Vmaximus - June 17, 2009

Can we make it to 500?
446.
I had a 440 magnum in my Dodge It had a 6 pack on it. That made it a 440+6 king of like this comment.

447. Vmaximus - June 17, 2009

sorry kind of not king of
447.
When I overbored my 440 it came out to a 506 CI. Sorry 446 sucks

448. D'ya think anyone would even notice skinny strappy black stilettos on - June 22, 2009

That is teh sexy right there!

449. Michael makes a DVD - July 3, 2009

“Pleasuring” is not exactly the word I would use though

450. Light a sparkler and see your reflection - July 4, 2009

Happy 4th of July and God Bless America!

451. Sarah Palin resigns - July 6, 2009

I can see Russia from here.

452. where's the mantissa - July 7, 2009

I know it’s in here SOMEWHERE

453. They Might Be Giant Zits - July 7, 2009

somebody get a spatula and a specimen jar.

454. When he's underwater does he get - July 7, 2009

Nobody knows.
Particle Man.

455. Michael Jackson's hell is being buried - July 7, 2009

*Holding his brain in his hand and singing U2’s ‘With or Without You’*

456. mesablue - July 9, 2009

Yee haw!!!

457. Michael and Dave survey the damage, standing high - July 16, 2009

Michael: It’s a pornographic panoramic view of the rubble and flames from up here. Huh. Damn. That used to be my home. *weeping loudly*

Dave: Yeah, my house is trashed too. Hey, do you smell that? Who’s frying baloney?

458. A coked up monkey makes a late appearance - July 23, 2009

DateDateDateDateDateDateDateDateDateDateDateDateDate

459. Random Internet Prig who is required to look down on everything everybody does - July 27, 2009

GOOD LORD, PEOPLE.

I….I….don’t even know where to begin…!!!

….so I guess I’ll start at the toes and work my way up from there…

460. skinbad names his No. 2 - August 6, 2009

Didn’t get undressed in time so I’m going with ‘Spot.’

461. Crasher Squirrel even popped up - August 15, 2009

You don’t want to know where he popped up from!

462. carri lynn holland summer lynn holland autumnmae holland paul mickle holland - August 16, 2009

were mad atthe fat naked naked people ya.

463. Chippy the squirrel - August 18, 2009
464. Chippy the squirrel - August 18, 2009

try this again

465. Lauraw posts a picture - August 18, 2009
466. Lauraw trys again to post a picture - August 18, 2009
467. Have you ever seen a worse case of sarcoptic mange - September 3, 2009

Damn, I hope it’s not catchy.

468. Dave in Texas sarcops a feel - September 3, 2009

*honk honk!*

469. The Periodic Cicada lays her eggs - September 20, 2009

The Cicada Killer Wasp says, “No thanks…”

470. Dave now realizes that he never should have planted Lauraw's water lilies - September 20, 2009

bad idea in so many, many ways

471. Baby Dances to Beyonce - September 25, 2009

this is so totally meta it hurts

472. Wiserbud rubs his face on the tummy rolls of - September 25, 2009

Woot

473. Thomas Paine imitator gets all uppity and self-righteous - October 19, 2009

Verily, she smells of cured pork products and cheese. Thou knowest this to be true.

474. Billy Idol - October 23, 2009

Thighs without a face.
Such a human waste.

475. Jethro Tull - October 23, 2009

Cross-thighed Mary? Is that you?

476. Newt Gingrich shot his wad - October 31, 2009

so she dropped out of the race today

477. Boris the Ferret frolics - November 3, 2009

They’re so fuzzy and warm. The ferrets I mean.

478. I spilled my stimulus - November 6, 2009

oopsie

479. Dave tests his new pool cleaner - November 8, 2009

*queues up some Marvin Gaye*

480. Michael sculpts a replica of Devil's Tower - November 12, 2009

Now honey, imagine instead of mashed potatoes, that this was a tube of liquid MAG-MA.

481. The 5th & 6th dimension Ascended Brotherhood build a space/time portal - November 17, 2009

beam me up, Michael!

482. Dan is worried about finding a Photon Band - November 18, 2009

It’s full of souls! And bacon!

483. Michelle's gown would have even looked good - November 25, 2009

As my granddaddy used to say, even a blind squirrel can find a nut some days.

484. the Masoretes are adding vowel points - November 25, 2009

dead languages don’t wear plaid

485. Dave is hanging his ornament - December 1, 2009

Fa la la la la
La la la la

486. Skinbad tunes up his Stumpjumper - December 1, 2009

It’s all about performance

487. Lauraw is rubbing her hump - December 1, 2009

Oh my

488. With 16 feet of packing tape, two reams of bubble wrap, and a peanut dispenser you can ship a toilet - December 1, 2009

it’s science

489. Michael practices his noodlin' - December 1, 2009

*grunt*
*splash*

Having a difficult time locating the gill, darlin’…oh, there it is…

490. BrewFan throws up a little in his mouth watching Michael practice noodlin' - December 2, 2009

Some things are better left unseen

491. It is critical to fully cover the subject with the New York Times editorial page while allowing a parrot to poop - December 2, 2009

Open wide, Maureen.

492. Michael Mann greases up his thighs - December 2, 2009

You can’t tell where one stops and the other starts.

493. Steve Seagal is so cool, he'll even hit - December 3, 2009

how YOU doin’?

494. geoff sprinkles Marie Sharp's Pepper Sauce - December 3, 2009

I put it on absolutely everything now.

495. Anyone know the best way to remove the snow that accumulates - December 9, 2009

Although, she looks almost peaceful like that.

496. Gentle slaps and kisses are the best way to remove the snow - December 9, 2009

AVALAAAAAAAAAANCHE!

497. mesablue sandblasts his parts - December 17, 2009

Exfoliating is a healthy practice.

498. I see a Christmas cookie - December 17, 2009

oooo.. .coconut!

499. The path to true enlightenment can be found - December 17, 2009

Fat and happy.

500. Rudolph creates a red light district - December 24, 2009

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him desperate.

Merry Christmas, Morons.

501. The Dr. Strangelove - December 27, 2009

How i stopped fearing, and learned to love the fat greasy legs

502. Just how large are the nipples - December 30, 2009

they look like Frisbees….

503. Michael volunteers to find the g-spot - January 6, 2010

Stand back… he’s goin’ in.

504. Scott Brown says NO THANKS to driving his truck - January 18, 2010

When fishtailing on wet surface, turn into the skid.

505. Marsha* Coakley invites phantom Taliban in Afghanistan to join her - January 18, 2010

…choosing her special Cat Woman costume for the junket.

506. Dave wants to build a snowman - February 24, 2010

Every time she giggles it falls down.

507. Michael, a 300 pound homeless transvestite spiritual cleaning Mayan princess, and thou - April 14, 2010

Let the good times roll!

508. Even Tiger Woods wouldn't say no to - May 13, 2010

Would hit this.

509. Even Tiger Woods wouldn't say no to teeing off - May 13, 2010

GAWD. Try this again.

510. Fourteen Somali pirates drown to death - May 13, 2010

That’s our story, comrade.

511. None of her closest friends have ever seen Elena Kagan - May 13, 2010

somebody had to go there.

had to be me.

512. Elliot Spitzer has never paid money for the experiences only achievable - May 14, 2010

No way.

513. Michael prefers the subtle, earthy flavor of mint that has been grown - May 28, 2010

Mmmmmm, mint-flavored sweat.. Or is it sweat-flavored mint?

514. All gave some, and some gave all - June 1, 2010

And she is so very, very, grateful.

515. I left my last full measure of devotion - June 1, 2010

it was the least I could do

516. 3d ACR makes the ultimate sacrifice - June 1, 2010

Brave Rifles!

517. Lonely are the brave - June 1, 2010

did I say lonely? shoot, I meant lucky.

518. It Sucks to Be Muslim - June 1, 2010

Well, it pretty much sucks every where, but especially here.

(How much more meta can you get?)

519. I can give you what you want - June 1, 2010

As long as what you want is potato salad and fried chicken. Anything else you have to negotiate with The Lady Herself.

Meta-whoosie?

520. A fat naked woman with greased thighs - June 1, 2010

it had to be done…

521. Ten least appealing euphemisms for sex - June 1, 2010

Ohhhh yeahhhh

522. someone is just trying too hard - June 1, 2010

and looking back, I see it already was

523. How to use tomatoes - June 1, 2010

silliness.

524. Did someone say they wanted a picture of Kerry Marie - June 1, 2010

the mind boggles. And the stomach churns….

525. Scared White Tourists - June 1, 2010

frankly I understand

526. Angry, Incoherent, Sex-Starved Justin gets off - June 1, 2010

It won’t help…

527. Scared white tourists - June 1, 2010

You can tell by the shoes and cameras that they’re not from around here.

528. Scared white tourists - June 1, 2010

Great Sick, twisted minds…

529. Lines Never Spoken - June 1, 2010

Hey, it smells nice up here….

530. Bot Scouts Celebrate PC 100th World Jamboree - June 1, 2010

is this part of the merit badge requirements?

Also I ain’t doing the Pope joke.

531. Tipper caught Al - June 1, 2010

Guess that’s better than catching him on a fat naked guy with greased thighs…

Also I ain’t doing the Pope joke.

Coward.

532. Gummi Bear Scandal Exposed - June 1, 2010

you wouldn’t think they’d be all that easy to spot, would you?

533. Loser with paint-gun on a flotilla gets caught - June 1, 2010

Bored and wanted to start an international incident.

534. 16 tons of construction materials and concrete were hidden - June 2, 2010

But hey…”humanitarian aid.” Because weapons-trafficking tunnels need hugs, too.

535. I left a handful of mentos and a diet coke - June 2, 2010

you wouldn’t fucking believe what happened after that.

536. Dave's most memorable bass solo was done - June 2, 2010

He might not have rocked your world, but it certainly got a jostle.

537. Ima eat some cold pizza for breakfast - June 5, 2010

gift horse. mouth. Do not look.

538. biber hapı - June 5, 2010

But hey…”humanitarian aid.” Because weapons-trafficking tunnels need hugs, too.

539. reason - June 5, 2010

reason gets the best wifi signal

540. reason does it wrong - June 5, 2010

Aw, shit. I fail at the internet today.

541. Helen Thomas Loses Her Seat in the Slimy Folds - June 7, 2010

*gasp*sputter*

542. Harry Reid will do anything it takes to keep his job, even if he has to do yoga - June 8, 2010

“Gerrymander” her “County Seat,” IYKWIMAITYD…

543. Harry Reid will do anything it takes to keep his job, even if he has to do yoga - June 8, 2010

*the downward-facing-dog yoga pose*

544. biber hapı - June 11, 2010

Aw, shit. I fail at the internet today.

545. California felt the earth move - June 11, 2010

This is serious.

546. Soccer is completely straight and totally gets off - June 16, 2010

unf unf unf…goooooooooooooooooooal!!!!!!!!!

547. With a little extra butter it's pretty easy to move hot women around - June 18, 2010

they just slide all over

548. Elliot Spitzer has a new CNN show where he can offer his opinions - June 23, 2010

Kathleen Parker will likely just sit in stunned terror.

549. Al Gore spilled his massage butter - June 26, 2010

you can’t have too much of a good thing, y’all.

550. geoff searches for emanations - June 29, 2010

THAT’S NOT A FINGER.

551. Cathy finds Michael's penis quite pleasurable - July 2, 2010

I just put everything into brainbleach futures…make me rich, y’all!

552. It might be time to close the comments - July 2, 2010

We have to start making the internet jokesters around here take an oath to Do No Harm.

553. No one can hear you scream - July 2, 2010

…Cathy started it…sorta…

I’m sorry.

554. Not-so-smart penguins find safety - July 12, 2010

how do they she got so fat in the first place?

555. How to celebrate a victory - July 13, 2010

Pop the cork.

556. I just don't have anything nice to wear - July 13, 2010

so I’m goin commando

557. Michelangelo's grave is spinning - July 15, 2010

You won’t believe what they call “art” these days!

558. The CT Moron after-after-AFTER party was held - July 18, 2010

This time the cop took pictures with his own camera too.

559. Michael achieves 9.9 knots - July 29, 2010

For a very, very short period of time.

560. Charlie Rangel - August 5, 2010

Now THAT’S a sweetheart deal!

561. Enas battles a furry, black bell pepper - August 28, 2010

Corn relish?!

562. I hit it with a caper-bomb - August 28, 2010

Direct hit! I can hear it whimpering.

563. I just noticed that for three years Innocent Bystanders have been cavorting - August 28, 2010

Wow. How time flies!

564. Russ tries the "Australia Strategy" - September 7, 2010

he’s just sitting there…… just sitting there, hardly doing anything…….

565. Michelle Obama loses her razor someplace - September 18, 2010

It must be in the folds somewhere…

Wow life with shaved arm-pits
…AND being first lady is just hell!

566. Michael manipulates the timestamps - October 8, 2010

*looks away in revulsion*

567. Lipstick frantically pushes buttons while sirens scream - October 12, 2010

she was NOT trained for this

568. I punched my chad - October 26, 2010

don’t judge me

569. Fusion crust - October 28, 2010

This is why she needs Rag On A Stick.™

570. 17 Minutes Before a Major-Sploady - November 4, 2010

Sheesh! That would have been messy!

571. Grayson Got His Ugly Ass Kicked - November 4, 2010

Great spectator event.

Grayson is a major dickhead.

572. Obama steals $200 Million/day for 10 days for a Junket to India - November 4, 2010

That’s TWO BILLION DOLLARS!!!

Almost $7.00 stolen from EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN —
MEN, WOMEN and CHILDREN and INFANTS in our country.

We are already broke.
We don’t have this money.
What kinda guy would do that?

Michael - November 4, 2010

What kinda guy would do that?

Our President.

573. Geezer painstakingly sets up dominoes, ramps, and cans of marbles - November 9, 2010

When he’s done, pulling her finger will eventually start the coffee machine.

574. skinbad laughs until his sides hurt - November 9, 2010

PLEASE CHANGE THE FILTER!!!!

575. Lipstick finds an interesting hairball - November 9, 2010

But she keeps it in a baggie.

576. Charlie Crist Demands a Recount - November 10, 2010

And some extra time on the tanning bed.

577. lauraw - November 10, 2010

Eh he he heh HEH

578. Scraping some crumbly pie topping I found - November 10, 2010

gonna put this shit on your dutch apple pie

579. Dave cracks walnuts - November 10, 2010

Yeah, right.

580. You don't know fun until you've played Dance Dance Revolution - November 20, 2010

it’s like dancing on a really squishy trampoline

581. Brewfan wishes you all a "Memmy Fmphas" from inside a crease - December 25, 2010

Either that or he’s calling for help. So hard to tell.

582. Skinbad Frolics in the Snow - January 5, 2011

Anybody seen my sled?

583. Laura, Dave, & breakfast cereals are jumping up and down - January 14, 2011

…and getting crumbs in the folds of fat, I’m sure…

584. Cathy - January 14, 2011

Island BAY-CON???

Sitting on top of teh Bacon?

585. IB Book Club holds its first and last meeting - January 17, 2011

Hey, where did the hors d’oeuvres go?

There were two whole platters right here!!

586. Dave's book was diverted - January 29, 2011

But I have the tracking number.

587. Geezer searches for 'pocket gophers' - February 11, 2011

Found one.

588. Geezer searches for 'gopher pockets' - February 11, 2011

FIFY

589. Retired Geezer left his Rodenator - February 11, 2011

flame on!

590. BrewFan learned to Gender Check - February 11, 2011

Now I’m a professional.

591. Michael learned to Bedazzle - February 15, 2011

Need. Bigger. Jewels.

592. The Waffle is - February 23, 2011

Well, not for very long….

593. Obama pushed a reporter - February 23, 2011

Guys, guys, I’m just tryin to find my waffle here

594. Michael taps his Chubby - February 24, 2011

Frothy!

595. Russ wins some kind of eating contest - February 26, 2011

…it ended with some kind of earthquake.
*shrugs*

596. If you really want to get Michael's attention, shine the Bat Signal - February 26, 2011

you’ll definitely get a reaction, but you may not like it.

597. You won't find World Famous Powerlines - February 27, 2011

Maybe some low voltage sparks.

598. *places the signal light just so - February 27, 2011

here batty batty bat-guy

599. Wiserbud strapped a Blazing Saddle - March 1, 2011

Good thing I wore my asbestos thong.

600. Dave had a coughing fit - March 6, 2011

It’s just a cracked rib.

601. Geezer ascends the treacherous ledges - March 8, 2011

Wouldn’t be so treacherous if they weren’t covered with candy bar wrappers.

602. Michael tried a homemade butt tattoo - March 14, 2011

It won’t hurt for long.

603. Michael failed at the Grab and Drag Method - March 18, 2011

Man’s got to know his limitations.

604. Flyin' Brian lands a gig trimming the shrubbery - March 29, 2011

Not really what he was looking for, but work is work.

605. Michael hires some Mexicans to spray a new coat of plaster - April 13, 2011

Tell them to rope themselves together, and count them when they’re done. Last crew went missing.

606. Lipstick planted her bonnet - April 29, 2011

I don’t think she’s gonna want to wear it now.

607. Dave Deploys the Royal Scepter - April 29, 2011

His orbs are happy.

608. Chelsey found a hat - April 29, 2011

It’s shiny.

609. geoff 'procrastinates' - June 21, 2011
610. Lady Gagalaid an egg - June 25, 2011

It’s the Future.

611. Brewfan basks in the glow of his big win - September 24, 2011

Don’t bask too long, man, she looks hungry.

612. No one will save you if you get stranded - October 9, 2011

The ranger ain’t coming, man. And you should pack extra cashews.

613. Get a hold of these Grand Tetons - October 10, 2011

just to stay warm

614. Godzilla - December 5, 2011

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound . . . .

615. Godzilla left a used condom - December 5, 2011

GO GO GODZILLA!

yeah

616. Hooray! The California Murre returns to nest - December 20, 2011

Oh wait…no, it’s just a guy named Murray.
Never mind.
Still, she seems pretty happy about it.

Michael - December 20, 2011

I can’t believe that you people are not taking this important science news seriously.

617. Rosetta is sliding up and down - December 20, 2011

…a skating arena

618. holy shit there's a sprig of mistletoe - December 24, 2011

grody

619. mesablue - December 24, 2011

Santa’s ass…

620. Michael found the rest of the Mayan calendar - January 1, 2012

Thanks goodness! Happy New Year!

621. You might as well eat cake - January 5, 2012

it’s practically the same thing as eating it on a plate

622. buy site traffic - January 7, 2012

I have been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this website. Studying this info So i’m satisfied to show that I have an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling I found out exactly what I needed. I such a lot certainly will make sure to do not overlook this web site and provides it a look on a relentless basis.

623. Hidden cache of spam discovered - January 7, 2012

haaa ha ha ha haaaa!!!

624. Laura lost her Avatar - January 7, 2012

It’s white and pure as the driven snow.

625. I see something that looks like an avatar - January 7, 2012

I think it’s, in there.

626. $3.5m Dollars compensation is in your favor - January 7, 2012

However, send your confidential details to us immediately. Your Full name, Your Direct tel phone number, Your valid identification Passport photocopy,Your Address. Also indicate the payment procedure you want.

627. Anonymous - January 7, 2012

And I provides it a look on a relentless basis.

628. I have an incredibly excellent uncanny feeling - January 7, 2012

Spazzed out on the previous comment.

629. Insert Tab A into Slot B - January 7, 2012

it’s easy to lose your mind in here

630. Retired Geezer - January 7, 2012

I liked Lauraw’s last avatar. The wacky woman who was being mind fondled by the neighbor.

Is that wrong?

631. Retired Geezer says dangit - January 7, 2012

Dangit.

632. lauraw searches for a new avatar - January 8, 2012

yannow, this particular pile of flubbery blubber looks kind of like a face….*aims camera*

633. Five band members with a guitar - January 14, 2012

Now she’s just somebody that we used to pole.

634. somebody left their school lunch - January 25, 2012

I wouldn’t eat that if I was you

635. geoff counts his post - January 26, 2012

One.

636. Michael loses control of his buffer - January 26, 2012

WE NEED A TARP, A TWO-BY-FOUR, AND A BUCKET OF WATER, STATIM!!

637. skinbad - February 1, 2012

I have half an erection

638. skinbad - February 1, 2012

Oh for hell’s sake. I was logged out! I had Salma Hayek rough sex spam on a fat naked woman with greased thighs. I don’t want to be there. Michael–drop 637 down the memory hole and I’ll get rid of “I suck” at the other place.

639. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe says that true happiness is only found - February 2, 2012

Something may have gotten lost in the translation, however.

640. Skinbad really screws up - February 2, 2012

Michael–drop 637 down the memory hole and I’ll get rid of “I suck” at the other place.

Not going to happen, Skinny. Keep us posted if you get a full erection.

641. lauraw giggles and jumps up and down - February 2, 2012

Heh heh, I love this thread so much.

642. Skinbad finds half of a viagra - February 2, 2012

Is it half up or half down?

643. yew gonna eat dat waffle - February 2, 2012

shore looks good!

644. Mitchell - February 4, 2012

There. Now we don’t have to look at that anymore.

645. Mitchell - February 4, 2012

Well that didn’t work for some reason.

646. Mitchell seems to be having problems staying - February 5, 2012

Hold on tight!

647. Brewfan composes his masterly review of the magnificent Caravaggio - February 10, 2012

Lookit dem tig ol’ bitties!

648. I found Van Gogh's ear - February 10, 2012

I thought Caravaggio was a left-handed relief pitcher for the Red Sox?

649. brewfan is rubbing his cheesehead - February 10, 2012

this is why you never get to touch a woman’s boobies

650. Abraham Lincoln slew a vampire - March 19, 2012

with an axe gun!

651. Is that a trident - March 20, 2012

or are you just happy to see me

Michael Slays Sobek - March 20, 2012

His corpse just disappeared into the flesh.

652. digitalbrownshirt squeezes out his lemon juice - April 2, 2012

Welcome to the party, pal.

653. digitalbrownshirt - April 2, 2012

You’re an odd duck.

654. Geezer finds a deer in the cracks of - April 2, 2012

Fortunately we had the Jaws of Life

655. Lauraw's Vet found Sarcoptic Mange - April 17, 2012

Few fleas found on feral foxes.

Feh!

656. Geoff & Tushar take turns smearing curry - May 10, 2012

Good for what ails you.

657. Michael is rolling in the deep - July 18, 2012

And I mean deep!!

658. Civilization reigns supreme - August 5, 2012

…though, to be honest, she doesn’t mind a little marauding.

659. I left my .45 - August 5, 2012

How will I fight off the Kazak hordes now?

660. lars carefully considers his death wish - August 5, 2012

And he may have missed the point of this thread.

661. unclear on the concept - August 5, 2012

yeah well who doesn’t? move along, freak.

662. People should be nicer to Lars - August 5, 2012

I think he appreciates this lady better than most.

663. Lars' mom left him a note - September 14, 2012

Well sure, who doesn’t?

Also it’s plenty joke to make fun of people.

664. Retired Geezer once tried flyboarding - October 7, 2012

You have to be careful not to get stuck in the crevices

665. Barry staked his Debate success - October 17, 2012

“Help me out here, Candy.”

666. Nobody envies the breasts - November 21, 2012

…well, maybe the people who collect vintage beanbag chairs.

667. I'll bet that hawk's claws could get a squeel - November 22, 2012

This joke just never ends

668. Lars spilled some baker's yeast - November 22, 2012

y’all ain’t gonna believe the shit that happened next

669. Michael does the Swoopy thing - December 24, 2012

Twice!

670. geoff wrings out his washcloth - April 19, 2013

It forms a tube . . . .

671. Skinbad killed a bird with a Trident Turbine - May 15, 2013

Skinbad killed a bird with a Trident Turbine

672. IB men test their response times - May 26, 2013

Quicker than they thought it would be.

673. I see laser burns and stretch marks - June 10, 2013

not pretty

674. skinbad left his heated dipstick - June 11, 2013

Slowly I recoil in horror

675. The Prancercise Lady found a kindred spirit - July 21, 2013

C. T. Sistahs.

676. Jerry Brown shows off his surplus - July 29, 2013

WHOAH

677. Laura is rubbing her swollen hump - July 29, 2013

We’ve been doing this for six years. Holy moly

678. lauraw - July 29, 2013

#637 is still the funniest.

679. skinbad bows his head in shame - July 30, 2013

If you say so.

680. Sobek breaks Rule Number 10 - August 19, 2013

He loves him some big girls!

681. 5000 hits from LauraW, all - September 4, 2013

I would like to see the hump and the greased thighs go to war like Godzilla and Mothra.

Yes I would

682. Sobek got punched - September 30, 2013

He wasn’t paying attention.

683. Dave splattered some grease - October 8, 2013

Here’s some handi-wipes.

684. Skinbad's toenail scraped off - January 1, 2014

There were no funny endearments this time.

685. punk - January 2, 2014

After seven years of everybody else getting a turn, figured I’d see what was so great about it. Feels dirty and degrading. And not the good kind of dirty and degrading, either. The bad kind.

686. Punk only lasts two seconds - January 2, 2014

She’s not exactly thrilled with you, either.

687. Geoff names the tiny blind - January 20, 2014

‘Gooey.’

He named it Gooey.

688. Retired Geezer's lambs get lost gambolin’ - February 24, 2014

baaaa!

689. Buzz Geezer rubbed the Baby Bump - March 25, 2014

Wasn’t as fun as it sounds.

690. buy wholesale at&t cell phones cheap - April 6, 2014

As the admin oof this website is working, no uncertainty very soon it will be famous, duee to itts feature contents.

691. I had no idea you could fit a phone warehouse - April 7, 2014

Good to know. Michael, is this your new venture?

692. Sobek tattoos a wren - April 7, 2014

ouch

693. Sobek - April 7, 2014

Actually I had some extra ink, so I did a picture of a wrench, instead.

694. Lauraw writes her Passwords - April 23, 2014

Plenty of space.

695. Sobek pushes the Yo button - June 19, 2014

Not as much fun as Tweeting.

696. Geezer goes all Rumpelstiltskin - June 19, 2014

*snrk*

*wakes up, confuzzled*

…whut?

…wait, what year is it?

…is it time to embarrass other people again?

I’M ON IT

697. Geezer shines some fancy lights - July 17, 2014

I’m a professional.

Best Job Ever

698. Chumpo rides into Sunset - July 19, 2014

splits check at Dawn’s Coffee Grill.


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