I Can Give You What You Want August 21, 2007
Posted by Retired Geezer in Music.trackback
NOTE FROM SITE ADMINISTRATION: Comments closed at 2,000 in honor of a marathon commenting binge by Amish to get there. Amish deserves to get the last word. Kudos also to Bart, who was the driving force in keeping the thread alive.
[Asst. Site Administrator Note (8/20/2007): Hey, its a tradition. And remember IB Ladies; BrewFan Can Give You What You Want!]
[Asst. Site Administrator Note (6/18/2007]: I have bumped this to the top once again due to … ok, I bumped it to the top to annoy Michael. Lets be honest.]
[Asst. Site Administrator Note (2/26): I have bumped this to the top so Michael has easy access in case he wants some good music while he's catching some rays and/or sampling the local ganja.]
[Asst. Site Administrator Note(2/2): I have bumped this to the top due to overwhelming popular demand. Bwahahahaha]
OK Michael… It’s ON.
Geezers; We’re at the Cutting Edge of Popular Music.
Put it in the Music category!
I always forget that little step.
*kicks dirt*
Ugh. And you were doing so well, Geez.
Oh yeah, this has made it into the Top Posts category.
How the heck did this happen?
*Goes to check Dashboard*
No link — search engine hits.
who is that?
name and single pls!
I think it’s “Ice Cream” by New Young Pony Club.
geoff’s right.
I kinda like the tune.
Very 80’s.
Intel
Sweet. I could hang 25 candy canes off my wiener right now.
Okay, 3. Geez just what were you browsing for when you, ahem, came across that little number?
I didn’t realize candy canes came in miniature sizes.
I like it. Love the woman in the blue dress. A real turn on to see her there.
i’ve been hunting that stupid but addictive tune for a long time now. i’ve been to yahoo answers and the whole bloody world keeps telling me the song from the intel commercial is mr. dabada. so i ended up here. water looks nice. wha goes one here? and as for that video, almost as retro as ‘groove is in the heart’, if anyone remmbers that turkey!
When I first saw the commercial for Intel, I thought the soundtrack was Fergie.
Can I help me please?
Which group sings this song “I Can Give You What You Want” ?
It’s “Ice Cream” by New Young Pony Club.
Just like geoff said in comment #8
Hey Retired Geezer,
are you sure that is New Young Pony Club?
I don’t found the song at the i-net?!?
Green Day rock’s
Ah yep
Ok I found it!:-)
Thanks
Green Day rock’s
That really is a fun little video.
Wouldn’t it be nice if all the music posters here had such good taste?
You know what I dig the most? The clothes.
I remember those fun clothes we used to wear. We never looked nasty. Nice fabrics, everything covered, kind of funky crazy, but still way classier than what the kids are hardly wearing these days.
Shit.
I’m old!
I don’t want to shock anyone, but I think there is some sort of sexual innuendo going on with that video. Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll have to watch it again.
And the hairstyles! Pin it all up on one side, tumbling curls, bangs, all of it I love it I love it.
No, I’m pretty sure the whole thing is an allegory about the girl’s cooking skills.
Quite clever to use ‘candy’ as a metaphor for how good her cooking is.
No, I’m pretty sure the whole thing is an allegory about the girl’s cooking skills.
Soooo… the part with the chocolate dripping into her mouth, sort of a “Girrrls like chocolate” meme?
But what about the Girl on Girl backrub, huh?
How about that?
But what about the Girl on Girl backrub, huh?
How about that?
Symbolic of the constant struggle against the Patriarchy!
I think it’s one of the better music vid posted here.
So many are such tripe.
lauraw is becoming a wacky aunt.
lauraw is becoming a wacky aunt.
Just now?
Great vid, BTW.
This reminds me, I haven’t had a body wave with bangs in a long time.
And whatever happened to my legwarmers?
Ah, memories! Thanks for posting this.
And whatever happened to my legwarmers?
Did you ‘Flashdance’ around the house in those Lipstick?
Why yes. Yes I did.
What a feeling!!
I took my passion and I made it happen.
Yes indeedy.
Why yes. Yes I did.
Don’t be embarrased; you’re in good company. To this very day, Dave slips into his new socks and does the very same thing.
Dave slips into his new socks and does the very same thing.
You left out his New Underwear.
But not this week because he’s retaining water.
I think it’s one of the better music vid posted here.
So many are such tripe.
You are just transparently trying to piss me off, Dave. It is obvious that you are jealous of me. Was it not me who broadened your musical horizons by exposing you to Barbie Girl?
Yes. Indeed it was.
They key to the Barbie Girl video, by the way, is to watch it at least once while you are focusing exclusively on “Ken” in the background. Otherwise you will miss some of his gags. That guy is frickin’ hilarious.
It was that transparent?
dang.
Carry on, clarinet warrior.
lauraw is becoming a wacky aunt.
Now, Snapper, back in my day, we din’t sass our old’uns.
Now, I’m gon’ haf ta strap ya.
Open yer drawers, now. It’ll tech you a lesson, but it won’t hur–
HOLY SHIT Y’ALL THE BOY GOT NO HAIR ON ‘IM
BILLY BOB, JOHN-BOY, BOBBIE-SUE, C’MERE AN’ LOOK
you forgot Earl
Mrs. Geezer still has some leg warmers.
I still have my fannypack.
Just sayin’.
“HOLY SHIT Y’ALL THE BOY GOT NO HAIR ON ‘IM
BILLY BOB, JOHN-BOY, BOBBIE-SUE, C’MERE AN’ LOOK”
Lauraw –
A friend of mine grew up in a pretty tough area where the men amused themselves by having neighborhod boys bareknuckle box while they bet on who would win. He also apparently developed pubic hair at an early age. His father used this to win money from unsuspecting people who couldn’t believe a little kid had pubic hair.
He would be out and about in the neighborhood and when his father had a bet arranged he would whistle for him – “One whistle meant I should come ready to box, and another meant I should come ready to show my balls.” Makes me happy I had a normal childhood.
I knew a couple kids who were retrieved nightly by whistles. My mom would simply yell our names, which was Not Cool.
Hi. Still here.
This video kind of grows on you, doesn’t it?
The 80’s were kind of a fun period.
I just did a Google search:
This post is #3 out of 98.6 million.
That’s awesome, Geezer!
I haven’t had a body wave with bangs in a long time.
I haven’t had bangs in a long time.
I haven’t had bangs in a long time.
are we talking about hair?
That was one of those things that, when I wrote it, I honestly thought, “I wonder if Dave in Texas will comment about whether I’m talking about my hairline or sexlife.”
You did not disappoint amigo.
And yes, we are talking about hair. On my noggin.
It is catchy. I sing it to Mrs. BrewFan.
My dad had an incredible whistle. Carried for miles. Wish I could do it.
I’m on my game dude.
On an aside, in my neighborhood in Huntsville Alabama, there were five buddies named “David”.
We all ran home to dinner on unique dad whistles.
True.
I never could master the ‘two fingers in the mouth’ whistle. I knew chicks that could do it but not me.
How many IB’ers can do it?
mrs Dave in Texas could split your eardrum with the two fingered whistle.
I have never figured it out.
But I will by golly. I surely will!
*pizza’s here!!!*
On an aside, in my neighborhood in Huntsville Alabama, there were five buddies named “David”.
I have a cousin named David in Huntsville. About your age too, or a bit older. Just for a kick, I’ll email you the last name. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?
I remember them all Lipstick. Email away.
We all lived south of Huntsville, off Memorial Drive.
I reckon there’s just no point in posting anymore, if we’re just going to keep reviving dead threads.
I can do a lot of intesting things with two fingers. But, alas, whistling is not one of them. Learning that trick is on my todo list.
Can’t do the two-fingered whistle. Can’t talk like Donald Duck.
Life is cruel.
Hi.
Can you make it stop snowing?
Suck it!
You too can have 6-pack abs like the Abdominal Snow….
Oops, never mind.
Can’t talk like Donald Duck.
Comedian John Byner (yeah, I worked him), could do the funniest voice I ever heard.
He should have gotten a job doing cartoon voices in The Simpsons.
Maybe he did.
Well, somebody’s gotta create post # 69!
I wonder if the New Pony Club has any other catchy tunes.
Could be, but I can’t imagine any being catchier than this.
This vid ROXXOR!!1!!!1!
Its very deep. What do you suppose the three hot chicks sitting on a pile of candy symbolizes? Is it an attempt to confront the post-modern view of feminity?
I like the way the keyboard player bumps her instrument.
Rythmically.
There’s got to be a Steven Seagal joke in here somewhere.
Is there a way to close this thread?
What’s the problem?
MARKMARKMARKMARKMARKMARKMARK!!!!!
I’m pretty sure you’re going to Hell, Dave.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I’ve soiled myself.
everybody loves that gag
Not everymody, you son of a mitch!
Thank goodness my alcoholic stomach can’t maintain a meal for more than 6 hours, otherwise I wouldn’t have had a bucket next to my chair.
MARKMARKMARKMARRRRRRLLLLL
oops
Drink me like a liquor
C’mon and dip your dipper
You know, I’m beginning to think there might be some undertones of a sexual nature in this song.
You know, I’m beginning to think there might be some undertones of a sexual nature in this song.
Not really. Note the various Carousel themes.
I think those demonstrate a yearning for Lost Childhood.
Happier times when candy was cheap and plentiful.
(Note the other thread on this in which IB’ers proclaim their favorite sweets)
Not to get all Psychoanalytical on myself but I think anyone can see that my favorite candy, Ice Cubes, clearly demonstrates a need to be dominated by an Ice Princess.
Like LauraW.
It’s by the new young PONY club. That’s reason enough to like it. Also reason enough to suspect it’s about nothing but sex.
No, skinbad, “pony” simply reinforces the “lost joys of childhood” theme that Geezer so perceptively pointed out. I really don’t see anything of a sexual nature in that song, and I’m somewhat disturbed that your mind is so clearly in the gutter with respect to these charming young ladies.
“pony” simply reinforces the “lost joys childhood” theme that Geezer so perceptively pointed out.
*sticks scrawny chest out proudly*
Speaking of psychoanalyzing,
a yearning for Lost Childhood
Why are you looking at me when you say that?
I’m constantly thinking about the past. My past.
I have vivid flashes of past events, mostly inconsequential, in my life. I suppose everyone has flashbacks, but mine seem to take me back to the event like it was yesterday.
If I were to psychoanalyze myself, I would say this:
For each year I age, time seems to move faster. And the increases in speed seem exponential. It’s scaring me and I want a time-out. I want time to stop for a little while.
I make jokes about dead celebrities, once in a while. The funny part about it is that it really bothers me. Everytime I hear of an icon, who I grew up with, die, causes me to re-evaluate my own mortality. Like sand through the hour glass, and all that.
Everytime I hear of an icon, who I grew up with, die, causes me to re-evaluate my own mortality. Like sand through the hour glass, and all that.
You are soooo close to turning this into another religion thread. I got eighteen Bible verses with my personal commentary lined up already.
Like sand through the hour glass, and all that.
Uh, isn’t that something from a Soap Opera?
Not that *I* would know that.
We had Mrs. Michael’s Cowboy Casserole for dinner tonight. And meatloaf! Mmmmm good.
Like sand through the hourglass, so go the Days of Our Lives…
I remember my grandmother used to watch The Secret Storm. Anybody remember that?
Bart, get in line.
Our bodies are made of temporary meat.
Deal with it as we have.
By shrugging, and wrinkling in a happy way.
You can’t always tell an asshole when they’re young, but you sure as Hell can peg them by their wrinkles when they’re old. Them sourpusses do get permanent, my friend.
my favorite candy, Ice Cubes, clearly demonstrates a need to be dominated by an Ice Princess.
Like LauraW
I’m not chilly at all, just a lil’ shy. Come into the igloo, and have a cup of tea while I size you up and decide what to say.
That’s very comforting, lauraw. Thanks.
Hey, look, Lipstick just made a spurwing ploverism.
*sits on the edge of a snow cube*
I’ll have the Sleepy Time, if that’s OK.
And I don’t walk around with a puss on my face all depressed. I just tend be reflective. More than I’d like, to be quite honest.
Skip depillation for a week – that’ll take your mind off the past and let it focus on the very irritating present.
But seriously, I find that keeping a diary helps with the reflective thing. You write it down, close the book (or file, in my case) and move on. At least that’s the way it works for me. I only write something every few months, when I need to sort things out and gain perspective on where I’m going versus where I’ve been.
For day-to-day frustrations, I just go kick trolls.
And I don’t walk around with a puss on my face
Well, maybe you should. I know that would cheer me up lickity split!
But seriously, I find that keeping a diary helps with the reflective thing.
OK, I’ll give it a go.
Dear Diary, today it was frosty and the red-tailed hawk banged into the window while chasing after the sparrows clustered around the bird feeder. The
chickenschikkins laid out in the sun and the dogs went around looking for chikkin poop. Uhhggh!!!!!! Spudder the cat killed another baby bunny. Mrs. Geezer is getting ticked about it too. Saturday night there will be a Blogger dinner in Boise. I will tell them about all my Pretend Internet Friends here at Innocent Bystanders. They will pity me.When you go to your blogger dinner, tell them about this great video!
They’ll love it!
Most of them have already linked it.
We have gud taste in I-Dee-Ho.
Blogger dinner in Boise. Did you have to reserve a table for two?
Well, maybe you should. I know that would cheer me up lickity split!
groooaaaannnnn!
Mom?
I think Clayton Cramer will be there.
He’s probably one of Idaho’s most popular bloggers.
Michelle Malkin even has him on *her* Blogroll.
Good grief. A dinner just for filthy stinkin’ spudders who blog. I’m not sure the fabric of space and time can survive a conversatiion that boring.
I’m not sure the fabric of space and time can survive a conversatiion that boring.
Dude, did you forget what I used to do for a living?
Here’s a photo of our last Idaho Blogger Meeting
There’s only one reason that those gorgeous gals would allow that lucky bastard in their dressing room with them like that, and it’s not the hawaiin shirt or the glasses.
He’s gay.
BrewFan, suck a fat one you comment critic
Re: Geezer’s photo.
The girl in the forefront looks more like the Joker than the Dutch guy Ace posted about.
Theatre make-up has to be thick and bold.
You’re a classy guy Geez, otherwise I doubt they would have been comfortable taking that photo. Lucky dog. Nice tan btw.
RG was very trustworthy.
I just HAD to hear it again!!
Very colorful, if nothing else
*laughing*
*holding sides and pointing at Michael*
Anna-Lys is a member of the Swedish Bikini Team, (but to my surprise, so is Dave in Texas).
She is on my Blogroll.
Can we bump this to the top while Michael is out? Brew?
We can always try
I JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT!! THANKS!!
Speaking of which, anybody heard from Michael lately? Is he on a cruise or something?
I’m thinking rehab.
OT: Phil predicts early spring
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070202/ap_on_re_us/groundhog_day
OT: Phil predicts early spring
Natch. Global Warming, ya know.
Thanks for the bump! I’m going to rock out with my, um, sock out.
Global warming!!! We’re DOOMED!!!!!
Vegas may not be the best place to assess the GW situation, I’m thinkin
Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today.
Wow, not only in the Top Five Posts on Innocent Bystanders but in Sweden too!
The blog is not even a year old and you’re already posting re-runs.
Re-runs?
Dude, this is a musical celebration of Life, Joy and Babes.
Go Pluck Thyself.
Bart should change his moniker to EpiLad.
I’m just on a business trip; will get home tomorrow night. I tried to give everyone advance notice in a thread somewhere and an email to the Main Page Commenters.
I was on a business trip last week.
Damn it’s cold up there near where you live.
Stupid cold!
No shiite, sherlock. The forcasted *high* for Super Bowl Sunday here in the great state of Wisconsin is -1. Yikes!
I’m just on a business trip;
Yeah, we know. But that’s just not as funny as saying that Pony is coming back. (Return of the King)
I thought Pony died last week.
Who was that horsey that died?
I hope it was “Widowmaker”.
bastard horse
pony feel much better
You know, the worst part about pony was my exaggerated idea of what it must be to be a randy male (horse); it could not survive for very long once everybody knew it was a girl doing it.
The reverse-thinking just got too weird.
no shit
I realllly missed you.
Are You at home now Michael?
*jumping over fence*
Thanks for the warning Anna-Lys.
Are You at home now Michael?
No, I’ll get home late tonight.
Andele!!!!
kinda shotty greenscreening there at the end, but i like the song
The Colts are going to win by two touchdowns.
^
speeking of ponees.
The post that wouldn’t die.
The Colts are going to win by two touchdowns.
Nice prediction, Bart. Close enough.
Yeah, if they didn’t flub the extra-point, I would have been closer.
When was this video made? It seems so hip*. So now*.
*Lets be honest; I wouldn’t know hip or ‘now’ if they bit me in the ass and shook my hand.
I wouldn’t know hip or ‘now’ if they bit me in the ass and shook my hand.
That’s just incorrect.
You are the Founder of Blog Wisconsin, which as far as I know holds the record for the most posts and a comment thread lasting OVER A YEAR.
Take that Instapundit.
Yep.
You are the Founder of Blog Wisconsin
Can you spell legacy?
I can.
It’s spelled r-e-t-i-r-e n-o-w b-e-f-o-r-e y-o-u p-l-a-y y-o-u-r w-a-y o-u-t o-f t-h-e H-a-l-l O-f F-a-m-e.
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?”
“No,” he replied, “Arthritis.”
Slip slidin’ awayyyy
Hey Compos, did you know where Paul Simon got his inspiration for one of his songs, “Mother and Child Reunion”?
re: The video, via Michael’s helpful link @Ace’s
Unspeakably foul, but thanks for the effort. Yeesh – she’s got all the tonal control of Madeline Khan in Blazing Saddles.
Hey Patton –
Lay off Lilly – she inspired a whoel subclass of porn.
Lili Von Shtupp: Is it true how zey say zat you people are… gifted?
[Lights go out, sound of zipper opening]
Lili Von Shtupp: Oh. It’s twue. It’s twue. It’s twue, it’s twue!
I’m so tired,
Tired of being admired. . .
I’ve been with 1000’s of men
Again and again
They promise the moon
They always coming and going
Going and coming
And always too soon
Right girls?
Geezer, we’re waiting…
Hey Compos, did you know where Paul Simon got his inspiration for one of his songs, …
Ooops, sorry.
Here’s the story. Paul Simon went into a Chinese restaurant and was reading the menu.
He was struck by the poetry of one of the dishes.
A Chicken and Egg delicacy called:
“Mother and Child Reunion”
That just makes me smile.
Thanks
I gotta remember how to do YouTube so I can post video of me Dancing onstage in Las Vegas with Showgirls.
I could be Famous.
I posted a little video of my Granddaughter accidentally shooting powerful shotgun loads, less than 6 months ago, and it’s received over 15,000 hits already.
Did you warn that kid? Jeez those things must have left a mark.
It was as much a surprise to me as it was to her. She made the mistake of picking up the empty hulls and putting them in her ammo belt. They looked OK to her until she pulled one out to load into the breech.
I handed her a couple of the low-recoil loads but the guy running the timer handed her some of his hi-base loads.
I definately like the way she hunkers down and leans into it after the first hot load.
Still pushes her back quite a bit though.
Yeah, she had a bruise but she cowboy’d up and finished the next 3 days and actually Won the Junior Top-Gun Shootout.
We
Must
Not
Let
This
Post
Fade
Away!
Not Fade Away?
Wasn’t that an old Buddy Holly tune?
Did you know Buddy Holly died in Wisconsin?
OK, *technically* the plane crash was in Iowa but Iowa is a suburb of Wisconsin so thats how I arrived at my conclusion.
Ooh! It’s back in the Top Posts list!
Movin’ on up!
It’s been a while and some of you retards are new here, so if you want to read one of Ernie Pyle’s most beloved stories, here you go.
http://www.pbs.org/weta/reportingamericaatwar/reporters/pyle/waskow.html
Captain Henry T. Waskow was from Belton Texas, just a piece down the road from me. There is a school named after him. I didn’t know who he was until I read this a few years ago.
Touching story. Ernie Pyle was born just a piece up the road from me. It really is a small world.
Whoops. Clicked the wrong link. Again
just a piece down the road from me.
was born just a piece up the road from me.
I’ve been meaning to write a post for a couple of weeks about the whole up/down phenomenon. I’ll try it out on you
anal retentivefine scholars.Well, that’s kind of my outline. What’s your thoughts?
I think you have way too much free time Geezer.
Seriously, North means up, south means down. Anyone who uses up to head south is deserving of a smack on the forehead. And yes, it’s a guy thing, since most women have no sense of direction. That’s why they had to stick close to the cave and pick berries and nuts instead of hunting, so they wouldn’t get lost. And/or eaten.
*the bird*
Yes, N=up, S=down. No brainer.
Want to have some fun today? Ask 10 men to point in the direction of north. Bet you 8 outta 10 get it right.
Now go ask 10 women.
Stir. Enjoy.
I agree with R.G.’s thesis–with the caveat that anytime you leave a suburb and go into the city you are going “downtown.”
“Uptown” is just too ghey for words.
Unless you’re going to Manhattan.
Most women would get it right here, Dave. They know they go “up north” to go shopping in Provo. Asking if they can point to the direction they go to spend money is like asking a bird dog to point–it just comes natural.
Also, the big, close mountains are east, the farther away mountains are west. If it’s a cloudy day, I don’t know how you flatlanders manage.
Actually, my wife’s really good with knowing directions. She’s a mid-west farmer’s daughter.
I should have added a codicil.
First ask them to point north.
Then ask them to point toward the mall.
Anecdotal evidence – last time I did this I got 20% women pointing to the correct north (one woman, I swear to God, pointed straight up in the air), and 80% on “point to the mall”.
“Uptown” is just too ghey for words.
Yeah, but what about that Ace Troll Downtown Lad?
Special dispensation I’m thinking.
I’m with you R.G.
Think of former NBA bomber “Downtown” Freddy Brown.
“Uptown” Freddy Brown? Not on your life.
Up is North except when near the mountains, where it is West (if you live where I do). Once you get close to places with significant elevation changes, “up” takes on its normal meaning.
Agreed, uptown is really a manhattan word.
And a manhattan is also bourbon and vermouth.
Watch out for those, they are ass kickers
OT (but what isn’t?)
I just noticed an airplane doing a racetrack pattern out my window. I went out and took some photos of it.
Looked like he was trying to dump some fuel before making an emergency landing.
I called the news and they said it was because Boise was fogged in.
Kind of surprising because we have Extreme Clear visability out here now. We had dense fog this morning though.
Oh, you want to see some pictures?
The TV station wanted me to send them the pictures. I’ll let you know if they get on the air.
At the moment, this post has gotten over 2,580 hits.
And 200 comments.
Anybody going to play this song for their sweety tomorrow. It’s VD day doncha know.
This songs sucks.
On the other hand, it has a shit load of cowbell.
In summary, one of the best songs ever.
i-Tunes has a playlist on the site with the best 75 songs ever with cowbell. It’s pretty funny.
This song sucks.
Rosetta, you are being duped. The best song ever posted on this site was not Geezer’s lame submission here. It was Barbie Girl!!!
(Scroll down past the contest rules for the video.)
That video represents the most creative use of electrician’s tape that has ever occurred on this planet.
This song sucks.
Oh yeah! Well . . . then why is it that this post has remained in the Top Posts list for so damned long then huh? De gustibus non est disbutandem and all that my lesbiantastically monickered amigo.
I found a message in my work email from someone named Rosetta F. and almost plotzed ‘How did he get this address??’
But no, it was Rosetta, the receptionist gal at my hairdresser. I’m thinking of getting the paraffin hand treatment.
Is that anything like the Aunt Jemima treatment?
AC/DC was having a lot of trouble trying to make “Whole lot of Rosetta” sound good. They had to compromise. I saw it on VH1.
RG, I just went over to mueart and I noticed a piece of artwork by Ana Lys.
It’s a vagina, right?
I have a question for Hay Zeus.
Remember when the America’s cup became really popular in the early ’90’s? What happened to it?
I never hear boo about it anymore.
(Remember the guy, Dennis?, with those ridiculous looking lips?)
It’s a vagina, right?
That’s what DinT and I thought… Mrs. G said the same thing.
Tunnel o’ Love.
I have always been taught that the more you read, the more knowledgable you will become. After reading some of the posts in this thread, I’m not so sure that’s true.
Oh man did she ever jump my shit for pointing that out.
Like it ain’t obvious. Georgia O’Keefe, hel-looo?
It’s a vagina, right?
***holding sides, laughing my ass off**
Oh Bart, Bart, Barty Bartster. You slay me.
Where may I view this art?
It’s from a link in RG’s comment in the Attention post.
Or just click on Ana-Lys’ name when she comments and scroll down until you find the most pooterific painting you’ve ever seen.
Tunnel of Enigmas eh? Yep, that’s a vag alright. Speaking of clam dams, I give you . . . wait, I’ll make it a new post.
Sure is quiet in here today.
Sure is Quiet in here today
Maybe we can get another Q meme going.
that’d be qwazy!
Sure is quiet in here today.
Yeah. Too quiet.
lauraw, do the paraffin thing! Hot wax, hand wrap, and all that scaly winter skin melts away. Heaven.
OK, I just want to learn here.
What is the “paraffin thing”?
It sounds, unpleasant. Paraffin is like, a waxy oil thing that burns. Do I have that right? Is it like lighting a pile of gunpowder?
lol Dave.
paraffin: (n) flightless seabird.
Aren’t you thinking of a puffin?
*alright, I just farted and it smells like guts. I better go check to make sure my large intestine didn’t fall out.*
Hay Zeus never answered my question.
I have another question.
How does Steven Hawking spend most of his time?
I suspect he surfs the net for prOn almost all day long.
It’s going to be sad when this thread slips into obscurity.
I know KC. I heard that your skin feels like softy soft baby skin after the treatment. In this bitter weather my hands are starting to look pretty rough even with moisturizer and gloves.
I don’t know about this paraffin thing (because nobody’s given me the four eleven yet!), but my skin was rough, blackened, and partially hair free after the gunpowder incident.
my skin was rough, blackened, and partially hair free
…but chicks dig that.
well yeah, s’why I still do it.
Dave, you get a nice manicure and a hand massage (lovely!) and they dip your whole hand in melted paraffin wax. Then they wrap it up and you kind of stew for a while.
When they pull off the paraffin, your hands are silky soft and beautiful. I don’t know how long they stay that way, but I have to try it. Sounds therapeutic. I already know that I like hand massage.
Best part of a manicure.
Really?
That sounds nice.
You know anybody down here that does that?
Oh wait, Mrs. Dave says Body Works does these…
*calling*
I think I shall have a paraffin treatment at 1:45 CST.
Perhaps my feet as well. I don’t know, we’ll see.
Consider it a scientific experiment. I am curious.
Yes I am.
Um…Dave? With this following so closely on the heels of your Sports Illustrated confession, well, um…I’m developing a mild concern here.
Maybe the wife and daughters have finally worn you down. I recommend an immediate dose of guy-type video and replacing the martinis with beer.
If things get ultra-dire, read a Gor book.
It’s finally happened. All the estrogen in DinT’s house has finally osmosized into his skull. Pretty soon he’ll be getting $100 perms and discussing Oprah with the women at the boutique.
So, which color of ink you going to use to track your own cycle Davina?
I’m not listening to you brutes.
I’m going to go have my hands and feet pampered.
Then I’m going to go out to the range and run 300 rounds through my SKS commie assault weapon.
I’d sure like to see that “Wacky Aunt” magazine again.
I didn’t get my issue this month.
Ooops, I guess that could be taken a different way.
Dave your hands and feet will be very oily when you’re done. Those are natural and healthy oils, of course. Just consider that when you’re handling the metal.
How do you all feel about guys with beards w/no mustache?
Quite frankly, I do not like them.
The beard you are describing is the Amish look and my humble opinion is that it’s ridiculous.
But then again I don’t like most facial hair, except for a neatly kept moustache.
But then again I don’t like most facial hair, except for a neatly kept moustache.
What about my nose hair? Any exception for that?
I suppose if it were trimmed into a tasteful topiary shape, that would be OK.
How do you all feel about guys with beards w/no mustache?
If the beard is mostly under the jaw, the scientific name is a “Bork.”
Research shows cats don’t care for them at all.
http://www.sree.net/stories/feline.html
Yes, but I axed how you feel about the person who is sporting that type of beard, not the beard itself.
I hate them.
Guess I would have to say then that I dislike them unless they are legitimately Amish.
lauraw,
go get the paraffin treatment.
trust a brotha.
Captain! Sensors have detected a spike in estrogen levels in this thread!
You did not.
I suppose if it were trimmed into a tasteful topiary shape, that would be OK.
Too much work. I just braid it.
Oh I did too.
Wore my boots and cowboy hat to the spa.
And it was fabulous.
Did you ask them to play ‘Love Shack’ while you got your nails done?
I think we need to put together a testosterone care package.
I don’t care to know what is in the package or how it is administered.
So are your hands lovely and refreshed? Do you feel pretty?
I feel pretty.
Oh so pretty.
I feel pretty, and witty, and,
pretty darn good.
I feel pretty.
OK, now quit biting your nails.
The rose goes in front, big guy.
Ha!
That might be one of the funniest lines from a film ever.
“Those aren’t pillows!”
-Planes, Trains, And Automobiles
So this afternoon I went to the tanning place.
When I walked in a little girl (who was there waiting for her mom to tan) said, “Don’t go in 1 or 3.”
I said, “Okay.”
She said, “My Barbies are in there. Barbie is in 1 and Ken is in 3.”
By this time, the girl who works there came around the corner and giggled, “She has her Barbies tanning,” and proceeded to show me.
Sure enough, there they were, Barbie in bed #1 and Ken in bed #3.
The little girl had originally placed Ken in booth #7, but when the girl who works there saw me pulling up to the store, she moved Ken to bed #3. Which makes sense, because she knew that I wouldn’t want to tan with Ken in #7.
And when I was shown the dolls tanning, the little girl was slightly miffed and instructed me and the employee that we should “knock first” before going into the rooms.
*click
RG left the light on again.
Wore my boots and cowboy hat to the spa.
Jesus Fucking Brokeback Mountain Christ.
I bet he drove his Chevy to the Levee too.
This one time, in Jujitsu class, a group of us were all gathered around the Sensei while he explained a move to us. The Sensei, out of nowhere, smacked one of the higher ranks across the face.
The Sensie always reminded us to keep up our hands. He said, “Keep your hands up,” to the shocked student. The rest of us raised our hands.
Lesson: Keep your hands up. Always be ready for a strike. Keep your hands up.
Keep your reg up!
Who needs new posts when you have this?
Good point, Bart.
I’m risking bandwidth overload with this but I figure only the regulars check out this thread anyway.
Vermin on the Roof
heh heh. Good one RG.
Peace through superior firepower.
I remember that show (and by definition, that means that spurwing plover also remembers that show) and it was great. Sort of a Police Squad type of sitcom.
They already started selling Peeps at the supermarket.
*Peep*
I’ve always hated Peeps. Cadbury Cream Eggs, on the other hand….
I never liked peeps, either. But it would bother me if they stopped making them.
Did you ever see that “Peep experiments” page?
I posted it on my moronblog a year or two ago.
I finally watched that video, and now a few of your comments actually make some sense.
Easter is like only ten weeks away, you should re-post the peeps thing.
Pretty soon we’ll be decorating for Christmas.
OK, done.
Just click on my name.
It’s pretty funny because it treats the whole thing very seriously.
I like the Quintuplet Conjoined Peeps.
Peeps.
Better living through chemistry.
I used to love Peeps, especially the rabbits. A three bite process: first the ears, then the head, then the body. Or just stuff the whole damned thing in yer mouth and wait for the sugar rush.
Also, reminds me of this.
they’re better if you let them dry out a little bit.
Newsflash: Hidden camera reveals clandestine meeting in Vegas with KevlarChick and Lipstick.
SFW
I’ve seen that RG. I hope she’s alright. Don’t know what they’re standing on, but it sounds like wood when her head thumps against it. Video cameras have definitely made a lot of today’s youth even dumber than they already would have been.
So glad nobody filmed all the stupid shit we did when we were kids.
Though I’d love to have seen Little DinT discovering the true nature of gunpowder.
No joy on the link, Geezer.
Thank god.
KevlarChick and Lipstick.
SFW
Really? Then why bother?
Purple peeps are unnatural. They should all be yellow.
Does Ana-Lys(terine) even know what a Peep is?
Europeons simply can’t appreciate the wholesome goodness of everything peep.
RG,
Your link made me do a spit take.
Well done.
LOL RG!
I could have invented Jackass.
Post is currently at #2 and climbing.
Peeps.
Is there anything they can’t do?
The more I re-read the Peep post, the more I appreciated the work that went into it. Those people had to be real doctors judging from the language they used.
Love the Conjoined Quintuplet Peep operation.
I could have invented Jackass.
You’re mom and dad took care of that.
Ha! See what I did there?? See? I made a joke at your expense using your comment as the set up. Keep pitching ‘em underhanded and right down the middle parrafin boy.
I think you meant “your”, not “you’re”.
STEEEEE-RIKE ONE!
Well POOP!
eh heh heh heh
It’s hard to take a victory lap with your pants around your ankles.
Not impossible, just hard.
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The grasshopper replies, “You have a drink called Larry?”
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”.
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
Three gay men are holding the cremains of their former, respective lovers and discussing what they plan to do with them.
“My beloved Franklin simply loved the ocean, so I’m making a special trip to the Bahamas so I can scatter his ashes into the beautiful water there.” says the first.
The second adds, “My Armonde was a great downhill skier, so I’m going to Aspen so I can release his ashes into the pure white snow there.”
The third lisps, “Well my Stephen was such a fantastic lover. I’m going to dump his ashes into a pot of jalepeño chili so he can tear my ass up just one more time!”
Sheesh! I tell one gay joke and the place empties out faster than my bowels at a soccer game. Where is everybody?
Sheesh! I tell one gay joke and the place empties out faster than my bowels at a soccer game. Where is everybody?
Tell me about it.
I’m here compos dear.
I can’t vouch for the rest of them but Dave and I are treating Bart to a paraffin treatment today.
I’m here. My internet connection has been Tango Uniform lately.
Just put a big piece of beef in the Crock Pot, so dinner is taken care of. Yes, you’re all thrilled at that news I’ll bet. . .
One advantage of the gay jokes is that they seem to keep Rosetta at bay.
Mmmmm . . . beef. Sounds good lipstick. Carrots and taters? Maybe some hard rolls or sourdough bread?
Hi kc. What ya up to?
RG, I’m sure Bart appreciates it. Giving him a coffee enema too?
wiser, do you think Rosetta is actually Bart’s alter ego?
The beef is flying solo this time, I’m out of carrots and taters. Guess it’s Velveeta and shells for the side. (White Trash Side Dish, heh)
Just beef, beef broth, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, dry onion soup mix, paprika, ground pepper, garlic powder, a hint of curry, and Italian seasoning. Last time it was dull, so I added a bit of powdered red pepper from Basque Country.
Bam!
Crock Pot
Crock Pot. Hmmm. Crock Pot. (shrugs)
I think you’re taking the military alphabet thing a little too far.
It’s for cooking — you know, that stuff your wife does while you study thermo-particles-transference. And stuff.
Hey Site Admin, my latest Blog Pimp slid into the Spam Bucket.
Maybe it’s a hint…
Here’s a NSFW blog pimp.
Dude gets bitten in the crotch by a Police Dog (supposedly).
I would have just posted it here, but we *do* have standards.
He can’t give her what she wants
He can’t make her heart beat short
He can’t make her ice cream
They could be a sweet team
Geezer was in kc’s dream. Boy!!
He could be the sauce she craves
But he had to go rake hay
Deep Purpled love theme
Blackmoore’s axe and black jeans
Three hot sisters ready to play!
They can give him what he likes
Pink flamingos, feral cats, oh my.
But his horses are sick
Instead of uglies bumps fists
Leaves the sisters high and dry
He can give them what they want
Richie Blackmoore’s fanny is real taunt
What’s the rest of kc’sdream?
Sick like Syd and Nancy?
Wicked as a joy ride jaunt?
What you want.
Geez can’t give you what u want
*blushes*
Aw shucks.
Compos, thats worth a post of its own!
Is this the end?
It appears so, Bart.
Bart, why don’t you take us out with your usually choice of the right music video for the right thread at the right time?
Dig it (I know you will):
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dbI5K0AzNHI
Is this the end? …or just the beginning?
Naw, it’s the end.
Firesign Theater
This is the end, my friend
This is the end, my friend
Eff that, Jimbo. You’re just pissed because you got buried in Fwance and all the Tarts rub their coochies on your tomb.
Damn, R.G. That’s just about Ploverian.
. . . got buried in FWANCE and all the TARTS rub their COOCHIES on your tomb. SQUAAARK!!!!
Jimbo?
Thanks Skinny…
Usually True Genius is not recognized until after death.
Jimbo?
Oops, I slipped and revealed my close personal relationship with Jim Morrison. Kind of like you and the Wolverine.
Ploverian! lol! Good one Skinbad.
what’s a coochie?
what’s a coochie?
It’s a growth you get when you’ve had too many pedicures and parrafin treatments.
Hunh? I thought it was a kind of pastry.
“I’ll have a coffee, a bear claw, and…Oooh! Gimme that last cooch over there. That fresh?”
“That fresh”?
If you have to ask, then obviously your……..oh nevermind.
I thought it was a kind of pastry.
lw, sometimes there’s yeast involved. But then, you probably don’t want to eat it.
Sorry if it’s already been brought up, but did you guys see this commercial?
Pupster, thanks for linking that commercial.
What a Coincidence!
I think that might even be the same Band!
Have you ever just been going about your bisness and you hear a song, a song that perfectly fits the mood you’re in at that exact moment in your life? And when you hear the song, you stop what you’re doing and enjoy the moment.
It’s a moment of tranquility, refelction, and perfection. Tonight I had one of those moments.
Ignore the video. Just listen to the music. The piano in the beginning will mesmerize you.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lfI6GCm9fF0
(The artist is Metisse. I dig her. She’s like the new Enya.)
A boom boom bâ
A boom boom bâ
A boom boom bâ
A boom boom bâ
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Are my dreams to be all I can do?
Lay o lay above, lay o lay below
And he said Annie will show them a new way
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Are my dreams to be all I can do?
Lay o lay above, lay o lay below
And he said Annie will show them a new way
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Aligna donguiri ma digné
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé for a y bâmê
A boom boom bâ
Aligna donguiri ma digné hé !
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé for a y bâmê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou …
I decide when this post will die. I am the decider.
Have you ever just been going about your bisness and you hear a song, a song that perfectly fits the mood you’re in at that exact moment in your life?
Yes, yes I have.
Usually for me it’s that song by the New Young Pony Club.
That was a mellow song, Bart. Kind of reminds me of Enigma
I’m just guessing at these, but they *could* be true:
Lipstick – Popsicle Toes – Michael Franks.
Mrs. Peel – White and Nerdy – Weird Al Yankovick
Dave – Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd
Sobek – Theme from Crocodile Hunter
WP – Highway to Hell
Any Others?
Gregorian chant music was hip for a little while, a few years back.
Yes, mellow is the key for me. My moments of serendipity only happen late at night when my head is spinning from the day’s events.
This works, too.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xqUXDdJ3C-c
And this.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5N2Oorhq0ek
(Back to #2)
Yellow Peeps
Purple Peeps
Pink Peeps
One horned, one eyed, flying purple PEEP eater.
When’s the last time you cleaned your belly buttons?
350. hah!
A prostitute walks into a bar and spies a middle-aged gentleman drinking alone. She plops down beside him, leans in close to his ear and whispers,” I’ll do anything you want for two-hundred dollars…”
He looks her over, pulls $200 out of his wallet and says,” Paint my house.”
Blonde answers an ad to paint a porch for $200. The wife asks the husband, “Does she know that the porch wraps all the way around the house to the back?”
Blonde finishes in about an hour and comes to the front door.
“I finished painting but it’s not a porch, it’s a Lexus.”
Try the veal.
Innocent Bystanders Action Alert:
Buggered by Batman
What do you think about speed reading? Is it possible?
Remember the informercials with the people moving their hand down a page in a book really fast and reading a page in about 5 seconds? I think it’s all bullcrap. There’s no way to accurately comprehend written material without at least carefully reading every word.
I wish I could read faster. I’m a very slow reader.
Moron.
Evelyn, you bitchhhh, do you not know who I am?
Your speed-reading tutorial is a sham.
From what I’ve read, the do’s and don’ts of reading are:
Do widen your field of vision and try to look at large groups of words at a time.
Do use your eyes like a camera and take a photographs of the page.
Don’t sound-out each word in your head.
Crap. I always say each word in my head as I read them; it helps me put the words in proper context.
Try to stop moving your lips, Bart.
I tried that.
It doesn’t help.
Jerk.
Oh, and I’m part Sicilianio, so my hands move, too.
That’s pronounced, See-chee-leee-ah-noh, btw.
When I speed-read, I only move my eyes.
I tried keeping my eyes straight ahead and just moving my head but it hurt my neck.
Plus I’m almost certain I looked like a doofus.
Just out of curiosity, what ethnic origin is the other half, Bart?
Ohhh nuts
Vulcan.
Ah. Polish, eh?
Q: How do you tell the groom at a Polish wedding?*
A: He’s the one in the clean bowling shirt
*Being from Milwaukee gives me an implied license to tell Polish jokes. This is the home of the Polish Moon afterall.
I just watched the worst movie ever made.
“Napoleon, like anyone could even know that”.
No Really!
We just watched “Blowup”, from 1966.
Worst piece of pretentious crap ever.
Won some awards, even.
It had Mimes for crying out loud.
Worst. Movie. Ever.
I have a relative who reads very quickly. It’s impressive. I doubt it’s something that can be learned, though; she’s been that way since she started reading as a child.
Half-Blood Prince, under 3 hours. ‘Nuff said.
Time for work.
Any movie that opens up with a dozen Mimes hanging all over a jeep that’s speeding around the city, whooping and hollering and banging on the jeep, can’t be good.
Any movie that ends with a dozen Mimes playing a ‘pretend’ tennis match for an audience of one, can’t be good.
Any movie that has *both* elements, sucks big time.
And just so you know that I’m not a hater toward English movies, we watched Little Voice the other night on Satellite and it was pretty good. I highly recommend it.
Anyone else have any comments on Blow-Up or Little Voice or The Half-Blood Prince?
I rented the new Bond movie. The suckitude factor was high.
The suckitude factor was high.
Aw crap. I just rented it last night but we haven’t watched it yet.
One of these days I’ll get around to reading the comments to this post. One of these days.
Just read #12 and #13.
#45’s a keeper too
157
302, 303
How interested in the development of the paraffin hand treatment meme are you?
Would you like to see some scientific experiments performed on marshmallow peeps?
Working my way through, I see some discussion about north = up and south = down.
I was arguing with a guy about Hebrew influence and migrations into Egypt during the time of the patriarchs, and I quoted from a book to prove a point I was trying to make. The quote said something about Hebrews in lower Egypt, and the other guy jumped on that and said something like “ah hah! We’re talking about northern Egypt!”
Of course, upper Egypt is actually the south, which is why the Nile flows into the Mediterranean instead of the Med flowing into the Nile. I used his natural man-instincts against him — it was like judo.
I used his natural man-instincts against him
That’s how all the Wimmins at DinT’s house maintain control.
I was arguing with a guy about Hebrew influence and migrations into Egypt during the time of the patriarchs
Hell, who hasn’t?
Done. Man, we’re a bunch of lunatics. I need to stop hanging out here.
Aw crap. I just rented it last night but we haven’t watched it yet.
It was the love scenes that made us gag. Mr. LS summed it up in an email:
“When will you let me in?” “You have your armor up again.” “Just hold me… waaaah!” Lesbian relationship- and both chicks were ugly…
But I think Daniel Craig has the makings of a good, tough Bond.
Plus he has a hot bod.
I just watched “Blood Diamond” — the civil war in Sierra Leone. It’s good. You have to ignore the typical irrational Hollywood cant about how Western consumerism results in third world misery. Otherwise, it’s a really good movie.
You have to ignore the typical irrational Hollywood cant about how Western consumerism results in third world misery.
We just got back from seeing “Shooter”, same deal.
Point of Impact is the Excellent book by Stephen Hunter, from which the movie is based. I highly recommend *any* of his books. Even Mrs. Geezer liked the book (and the movie).
Test your liguistics skills.
Without using a translator or smoogle, translate the following:
Latin
In principio creavit Deus caelum et terram
Portuguese
No princípio criou Deus o céu e a terra
Spanish
En el principio creó Dios el cielo y la tierra
French
Au commencement Dieu créa le ciel et la terre
Italian
In principio Dio creò il cielo e la terra
In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.
Is that right?
Manicure and parrafin scheduled for Friday at 3:30 CDT
Manicure and parrafin scheduled for Friday at 3:30 CDT
No Dave, I don’t think you’ve correctly translated Bart’s sentence. Lipstick is probably closer to getting it.
Yep.
Saw some good trailers at the movies today. We’re looking forward to seeing:
Live Free or Die Hard. – Bruce rides again.
Fracture – Anthony Hopkins plots the perfect murder.
Next – Nicolas Cage can see his future.
Well, the trailers looked promising anyway.
Well done, Lipstick.
How about some Old English?
(Don’t look it up, you can do this.)
Fæder ure þu þe eart on heofonum,
Si þin nama gehalgod.
To becume þin rice, gewurþe ðin willa, on eorðan swa swa on heofonum.
Urne gedæghwamlican hlaf syle us todæg, and forgyf us ure gyltas, swa swa we forgyfað urum gyltendum.
And ne gelæd þu us on costnunge, ac alys us of yfele
The Lord’s Prayer
Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Dang you, Geoff!
I’m pleasnatly surprised that these symbols can be seen in WordPress.
þ — is called ‘thorn.’ It sounds like the th in thunder.
ð — is called ‘eth.’ It sounds like the th in the word ‘thy.’
Notice the difference between the sounds? One is voiced, ‘thy’ and ‘that,’ which means it is pronounced with a glottal vibration. The other, ‘thigh and thunder, is unvoiced, whcih means it is pronounced without vibration.
This can also be demonstrated with the g. The voiced g is heard in the word ‘legislate.’ Unvoiced g is in the word ‘get.’
…but deliver us from evil.
I think the actual translation is “…Deliver us from The Evil One“.
The Greek is something like “Tan Paniron”.
OK, I’m just going on old memory.
I’ll look it up.
BRB
Hah!
I was close.
του πονηρου
You guys are amazing.
I guessed it at and forgyf us ure gyltas
I think the actual translation is “…Deliver us from The Evil One“.
Well yeah, duh, but I was translating the Old English, not the Greek.
Poser.
Taken from Wiki.
Apparently, that version is from the middle of the 11th Century.
1066 AD is the year marked as the time of the end of Old English. So it’s reasonable to consider to the above version of the Lord’s Prayer either Old or Middle English.
In modern Icelandic. Notice that they still use the thorn, þ, and the eth,ð.
Faðir vor, þú sem er á himnum.
Helgist þitt nafn, til komi þitt ríki,
verði þinn vilji, svo á jörðu sem á himni.
Gef oss í dag vort daglegt brauð.
Fyrirgef oss vorar skuldir,
svo sem vér og fyrirgefum
vorum skuldunautum.
Og eigi leið þú oss í freistni,
heldur frelsa oss frá illu.
[Því að þitt er ríkið, mátturinn og dýrðin
að eilífu amen.]
Icelandic, is an offshoot of North Germanic, whereas English is derived from West Germanic.
Now, with modern German, you’ll see how closely it is related to modern English.
Vater unser im Himmel,
Geheiligt werde dein Name.
Dein Reich komme.
Dein Wille geschehe, wie im Himmel so auf Erden.
Unser tägliches Brot gib uns heute.
Und vergib uns unsere Schuld,
wie auch wir vergeben unsern Schuldigern.
Und führe uns nicht in Versuchung,
sondern erlöse uns von dem Bösen.
Denn Dein ist das Reich und die Kraft und die Herrlichkeit in Ewigkeit. Amen.
Who knew that Bart was really Noam Chomsky’s sock puppet?
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër ?
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is generically known as Naproxen, Amoxil is Amoxicillin and Advil is Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
http://shopping.msn.com/content/shp/?ctId=8356,ptnrid=164,ptnrdata=301868>1=9229
I can’t believe the skinny jean is still in. That’s just retarded.
There’s like, six girls on Earth who don’t look ridiculous in the skinny jean (LD is one of them).
BTW, LD, was it you who was willing to take a couple lotus tubers off me?
It’s almost time to tip over the tubs and divvy these things up.
And Geezer gets a waterlily too, IIRC, though that job’s still a couple months away.
See the løveli lakes
And Geezer gets a waterlily too, IIRC
*Mrs. Geezer jumps up and down like a Miniature Schnauzer with a bladder problem*
Uh, yeah, we’re ready.
The wøndërful telephøne system
Of course, if Dave has set the precedent, my tuber shipment will guarantee a freek deep freeze in Idaho and Nevada this July.
Yes, I keep peering into the pot for signs of life.
It’s very murky in there.
guarantee a freek deep freeze in Idaho and Nevada this July.
Tell me about it. We had temps in the 80’s last week but now the highs are only going to be in the 40’s this week. The mountains got a lot of snow yesterday and the friggin’ wind has been blowing for 3 days.
We got rained on when we went out to the foothills for our horsey ride. Good thing Mrs. Geezer had our Official Aussie Drover Coat Slickers in the horse trailer. I looked like the Man From Snowy Hair Follicles.
I’ll be pimping that on my moronblog in a day or so.
BTW, LD, was it you who was willing to take a couple lotus tubers off me?
Long story short: I decided against doing a water thing in the garden. Too many complications for this climate.
You’re so kind, and I thank you.
Yes, I keep peering into the pot…
We knew it was you!
Is “water thing in the garden” code lingo for something hot?
I was just curious.
was it you who was willing to take a couple lotus tubers off me?
Head Lice yes, Deer Ticks yes but I draw the line at Tubers.
Is “water thing in the garden” code lingo for something hot?
No, although one time when the water main broke and the toilets were inoperable, Mr. LS gave new meaning to “watering the garden”.
Anyone pick up on the resemblance between the nightrider tune and this one? bass line-cow bell combo? or is just memory playing tricks?
ya, STROHBERRIES, the first thing I thought of was the dee-lite vid.
at least I found it. I have to say that the bits cut for bbc program promo insert is better than the whole choon (don’t fling eggs at me!)
Aww, that’s too bad LD. I was thinking of your climate and wanted to suggest you bury a big plastic tub in the ground and plant in that, which would help with the evaporation aspect.
But the watering would still be a big chore I guess
Gonna see if I can sell all these tubers then. I must have a couple-three hundred dollars worth of plant material in those tubs.
You could offer discounted shipping…
A girl’s gotta eat. If they won’t pay enough for the tubers, I’ll make it up on the shipping end.
Happy Anniversary (and April Fool’s Day) to all the IB clan.
Now is the time at
The FleaIB when we dance.Happy Easter, Geezer.
Touch my monkey!
Touch my monkey!
Uh, can I rub your squirrel… just for luck?
This post is back in the top ten baby!
*happy dance*
You just can’t keep a good music video down.
I still can’t see those sexual innuendoes that everyone keeps mentioning.
Other than the girl bumping into her keyboard.
Mwaaa ha ha ha haaaaa
THE THING THAT WOULD NOT DIE
THE THING THAT WOULD NOT DIE
Did somebody post a Rolling Stones video?
forgot about the multiple links thing again
Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies.
What a week it’s been. And it’s only Wednesday!
I’d better unwind with a little NYPC…
New Young Pony Club
I can give you what you want
Back in the top ten
Thanks for reminding me.
*does little happy dance*
*falls down*
whoa, got up a little too quickly.
Just can’t get enough of this song.
Have you ever listened to it backwards?
Totally mindblowing.
These New Young Ponies gals look like potential interns!
I thought Bill liked his ladies more, er, substantial.
It just isn’t right that this video gets more hits than a classic like Barbie Girl.
BTW Michael, if you’re ever looking for your old friend C-ford the Paleoconservative, he is posting as ‘Chris Ford’ on that Newsbusters link I left at Ace’s (in the comments to the mummified baby post).
Thanks, Laura, but I think I’ll pass. It’s taken me a long time to get over my man-crush on C-ford. I don’t want to open old wounds.
I left you a Mater Report at BlogWisconsin earlier today.
Is the missing part of that name a type of Tree?
As in C- Sinai hospital?
Yes, RG. We’re trying to avoid attracting any attention, on the assumption that he googles his name.
Did I leave my glasses in here?
Anybody seen my glasses?
Keyboard chick looks bored out of her mind.
Anybody seen my glasses?
I think I saw your glasses at Garfield Ridge. Or maybe HayZeus has them. I saw them somewhere.
http://blowingsmokethemovie.com/archives/2007/06/try_not_to_laug.php
I would never. Never.
omigod, nuh- uh.
First, there’s a fundamental lack of respect going on in this video. I’d like to see the tables turned. Shit would be different, you betcha.
Second, Mr. W is teh pranxter. I can’t compete with the evil man-brain. There would be Hell To Pay.
And why doesn’t this idiot carry extra keys since it happened the first time?
I don’t get it.
After like, I don’t know, the 4th time, why doesn’t he break down the door?
They can’t have been married for all that long. That and he has the patience of Job. After the “pookie-bear” stupid nickname phase of their relationship passes, I predict they’ll find her buried in the crawl space with that video camera shoved up her ass.
First, there’s a fundamental lack of respect going on in this video. I’d like to see the tables turned. Shit would be different, you betcha.
I saw this on AFV (hey, my son loves it) and they actually won $10k for this video. As they were being interviewed, they said that they do this stuff to each other constantly. But she figured out to video it.
I thought it was hilarious. Of course, if I did this to my wife, she would would whip out a big ol’ can of whoop-ass on me.
Mrs. Geezer and I play jokes on each other all the time.
Well, maybe it’s just me.
Maybe I play jokes on other people too.
One of the funniest practical jokes was when my Granddaughter was visiting here for the summer when she was about 10 years old.
We had the idea to send her back home to her parents in disguise.
We went to the thrift store and bought a dress suitable for a little Mexican girl’s first communion and some really tall shoes.
We made some ‘fake braces’ with a little piece of tinfoil.
Some skin tone darkener and makeup.
I almost forgot to mention that we dyed her hair from blonde to black.
They didn’t recognize her at the airport.
I wonder why they don’t send the grandkids up any more.
My mom used to babysit for her girlfriend sometimes when me and my sister were little. The girlfriend’s kids were Franky and Sandra.
One day she folded up a handkerchief, smeared a little ketchup inside the folds and played with it so it looked like blood just starting to soak through the kerchief. She tied this around Frankie’s head.
When Franky’s mom came to pick up her kids, my mom patiently explained that Franky was absolutely fine, there was no reason to be alarmed, and but perhaps maybe you should take him to the Hospital just in case.
That turned into a bad scene. I don’t think that woman spoke to my mom again for like a year. Hysterical bitch.
Geez, that’s awesome.
My kids spend a couple of weeks every summer at their grandparents. My FiL has a great sense of humor, but my MiL is all about “Proper Manners and Etiquette.”
So the week before they went, I made my kids promise that when grandma serves Jello for dessert (which guaranteed she would do at least one night) I wanted them to look at each other, say “1..2..3″ and just stick their faces in the bowl and start slurping up the Jello.
When they got back, they told me that they almost killed grandpa ’cause he laughed so hard, up until grandma shot him a look that probably froze him to the bone. She was not amused, it seems. I was dying. And so proud of my young-uns.
My in-laws are coming to my place tonight and staying for a few days. We are serving Jello for dessert. If you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know why.
lauraw, me and you mom would have gotten along famously.
She’s pretty damn funny. My little friends loved her.
Geezer’s takes the cake though. Devious and time consuming.
she could have put on a recording of “Frankie and Johnnie” in the background.
Here’s a little picture we took before we put her on the airplane.
She looks like Dorothy before the tornado hit.
Now she looks like this.
I still cant believe you dyed her hair when she was just ten.
You have to know my daughter’s sense of humor to know that I wouldn’t get in *too* much trouble.
Hey, they sent them all back the following summer.
hey whassup
Happy Father’s Day, sweetness.
to all dads, everywhere. allabest
Best wishes to all the dads.
It’s an awesome responsibility with incredible rewards.
Right back atcha, everybody. Take care.
It doesn’t have pigs, as does that fine post on Culture for the Unwashed Masses, but it’s a catchy little tune.
Yeah, it could use a little more Wildlife.
Does anybody have any Indian Runner Ducks hanging around?
YES! And we have a couple of babies. A couple of others hatched and didn’t make it through the first day. But two are looking good. I’ll have to put a pic up.
I’d just like to point out that we’re getting close to 500 comments.
Yup.
Of course, if Geezer had originally posted this video alongside a challenge to write cool facts about Dick Cheney’s cock, maybe we would have hit 500 a long time ago.
yep
So is there some substantive difference between “yep” and “yup”? I remember Vanilla Ice said “yup” a lot back in the day — was he from Connecticut?
Weird coincidence. Vanilla Ice (Rober Matthew Van Winkle) grew up in north Dallas, and went to school with my youngest sister.
Strange, because we say “yep” here.
We say “you bet.”
I say “fo’ shizzle,” but that’s just so the kids will think I’m trendy.
We say, ‘yah hey’
I say “What’s up my ninja”?
It’s true. I say that alla time.
We say “you bet.”
I knew that was gonna be Skinbad before I read the author.
He actually meant to say “You Betcha” but he didn’t want to appear too Country.
Also acceptable: Sho’ Nuff
Cowboy Action Shootin’ on the news last night:
http://kutv.com/roughingit/local_story_167204634.html
Someday I’ll try it.
Also acceptable: Sho’ Nuff
Who is the master?
That, of course, is from The Last Dragon.
You betcha.
Mmm hmm.
*dramatic pause*
I am!
You certainly are.
In theory.
What is that trend, exactly?
No wait, don’t tell me. Just write it down on a piece of paper and burn it.
I liked it better when I could use this thread for my personal observations.
Eveyone Out!
O-U-T
Out!
Unlike every other fucking thread, Bart?
No. This is a community garbage thread. Like the other two community garbage threads that you know nothing about.
oh shit
Oh look, the crazy cat lady is ridiculing my comments.
Go to bed.
You know, I could prevent this thread from reaching 500 comments if I wanted to. Just try me, people. Just keep pushing my buttons.
You’re all on f’n notice!
Four ninety-tree.
Oooo- Rah
Still up?
Go to bed.
No smokes and no beer make Pupster something-something.
Had an odd set of cool coincidences this weekend. I’m driving up to Silverthorne in a grumpy mood (fighting traffic in Boulder and innumerable other delays), when all of a sudden ELP’s version of Fanfare for the Common Man comes on the radio. I’ve never heard it played on the radio before, so it was a real treat and my mood improved instantly.
That evening we’re in this Old Chicago’s in Silverthorne, when my wife notices that at long last my all-time favorite beer is on tap there. Saweeet!!
So she and I are hanging out in the bar later that night (while the kids watched cartoons in the room), and all of a sudden the Atlantic Family Live at Montreux version of Pick Up the Pieces comes on. I haven’t heard that on the radio since 1979, when it played on the now-defunct KADX jazz station in Denver.
Just a weird and very welcome set of fortuitous happenings, all within about 10 hours.
I have a rendezvous with destiny.
My mission is clear.
Number 500.
OK, I’m going to bed. You talked me into it.
Goodnight peeps.
Dream good dreams tonight.
Hey, we’re over the hump! (No offense lw) We’re on our way to a thousand comments on this baby.
Congratulations RG. Pretty soon, this post will have more comments than you have ear hairs.
*Geezer takes up position with tweezers*
You know Geez, hopefully people will have read my comment prior to reading yours or else your comment may paint some odd pictures.
didn’t work.
*mind scrub*
geoff:
That evening we’re in this Old Chicago’s in Silverthorne, when my wife notices that at long last my all-time favorite beer is on tap there. Saweeet!!
Well, actually, Geoff, lots of bars have Budweiser.
Well, actually, Geoff, lots of bars have Budweiser.
I spit upon your weakened chin parts.
*Geezer takes up position with tweezers*
You have no idea how much it pleases me to know
that I have reached you.
my wife notices that at long last my all-time favorite beer is on tap there
I started drinking Guinness because none of my kids liked it.
It’s kind of spendy but I like it.
Geezer, just spit on the bottles.
You have to tell them for that to work though.
Geezer, just spit on the bottles.
Like this?
Oh, you said spit
Houseflies
Houseflies that like people
are the most annoying houseflies in the woooorld
Just remember lw, that everything in creation serves a purpose. The housefly’s purpose is obviously to annoy the shit out of you.
Cause that’s the way God planned it.
You should get one of those Electronic Flyswatters.
All you have to do is touch a fly with one and they instantly drop to the floor and spin around in a cute little break-dance.
Then die.
It’s what passes for entertainment here in I-dee-ho.
That purpose thing is so true.
Here is my purpose:
http://www.despair.com/mis24×30prin.html
I bet each of us knows a person who owns a cat named Simba.
We have a fish named ‘Spot’.
He frolics among the Tuber stems that LauraW sent us.
Come on.
You don’t know, or knew, a single person with a cat named Simba?
Or Madison?
Or Allie?
Or Blackie?
Or Patches?
He frolics among the Tuber stems that LauraW sent us.
Uh, I should have said ’stems of the Tuber’ so you don’t get the idea that all that’s left is stems.
I had a fish named Spot. She was AWOL when we took the plastic hoop-greenhouse covering off the pond this Spring. I blame the bullfrog.
Big Red, Speckle, and Mrs. Wallace Stevens are all still there and fine, though. And all their children, as far as I know. I don’t keep track of the offspring.
Interesting thing happened at work today. I took Yankee (my cattle dog) out to pip behind the neighbor’s store where there’s woods and stuff for him to sniff.
Just beyond the path behind that store, under the edge of the woods, I saw some stuff.
Several loosely-knotted garbage bags half-full of whatever, lying on the ground. A big burlap blanket draped over a shopping cart full of more stuff.
Look, I’m from Hartford.
I know a bum-nest when I see one.
While I was digesting the scene I felt this creepy feeling.
Where’s the bum? Where is he?
Is he sleeping on the other side of that hump of stuff where I can’t see him? Where is he?
Then the realization that I’m in the woods behind a parking lot where nobody goes and nobody can see me.
Gonna have to tell on him and turn him out.
Sorry, Bum. I can’t have it. No.
I feel kind of guilty.
But NO.
I have a conundrum. I think. Not that I’m totally sure what a “conundrum” is, but the word sounds good, and I’m sticking with it for now.
I purchased a ‘93 Ford Explorer right after Christmas. It’s VERY low mileage (was less than 50k when I got it), but sinmce it’s so old & inexpensive it works as a good farm vehicle for me. Yesterday I was cleaning under the front seats and along with $1.36 in sticky change, I found an undeveloped roll of Kodak Advantix film. I have no idea who owned this vehicle before I did, since I bought it from a dealer in Osceola who probably bought it at an auction.
I’m now faced with a big decision. Do I throw out the film, develop it myself, or attempt to find the original owners? I don’t want to simply throw it out, but tracking down the owners might be difficult. And developing the film? I. Don’t. Think. So. There are some things that you see that you just can’t un-see, and I don’t want to take a risk that this film has ANY of those images on it. Especially since that for all I know W.P. recently traded in a green/beige Explorer 4door.
Advice, anyone?
I’d develop it but first I’d tell the photo shop guy the circumstances.
You know, just in case it’s WP’s film.
We have a little garter (garden?) snake that lives around the pond. Mrs. Geezer has kind of a fear of snakes. I told her that she should just ‘Name’ the snake so it would make it more of a
personsnake.Wait, that’s not right.
Anyway, Elizibeth is now the name of the snake.
Speaking of Elzbth, I haven’t seen her in a while.
She didn’t run off with Bart, did she?
Pull the film out of the cannister to overexpose it to shit and then rewind it and chuck it.
Out the car window on a roadside you rarely pass and that doesn’t have highway cameras.
Geezer, the area around my pond is completely aslither in Spring with Garter snakes. They startle me when I muck around out there, but they’re good steady friends to the garden.
Be a good idea to put in a few toad houses, though, in case the snakes eat too many of the baby toads.
Laura, the advantix film doesn’t spool out of the roll like regular 35mm film, so that’s not an option. I hate to just throw it out, because what if it’s got someone’s first birthday on it, or the last Thanksgiving with Uncle Junior before he died?
Of course, it could also have pictures of Ma & Pa’s bondage gear & fetish wear. That’s the problem, I can’t throw it out, but I dare not see what’s on it. I guess I’ll call the dealer tomorrow & see if he can help track down the original owners.
All right guys, enough of this silliness. Let’s get back on topic, shall we?
If you would have bought Mrs. Peel’s Cherokee you wouldn’t have this problem.
The *real* question is: what do you *want* the film to have on it?
Nevermind elzbth, where’s civetta?
She got 15 years for gettin it on with the captain of the football team.
Gonna have to tell on him and turn him out.
He saw you back there with your dog. He’ll know it was you that ratted him out and caused him to lose his only place of refuge.
You’re going to cause that last little thread in his frazzled brain to snap and he’ll blame YOU.
Or not.
I don’t want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2383711.html?menu=news.quirkies
Police investigate frozen Patty.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-06-20-frozen-criminal_N.htm
Unbelievable. An “addiction” to heavy music gets this guy disability?
Maybe we should do all our blogging from Sweden…
You know the homeless man saw you when you found his nest.
You know he’ll want to get even with you for ratting on him.
You know the police won’t do anything about it until after he comes for you.
The shovel & quicklime are out in the garden shed. You know what to do with them.
…oh yeah, I almost forgot. Will this package get to Miami by Saturday if it’s picked up today?
Personally, Russ, I’d just throw out the film. But then, I’m both lazy and heartless. I’ve also lost many of my old photos, and I can’t say it’s really caused me any life-altering harm.
Bart, I have never known anybody with a cat named Simba. But then, I’m a cave-dwelling recluse.
I know that little pre-adolescent boys are often cruel and heartless to animals, but when grown men do it…
Video at the link.
http://www.local6.com/news/13542271/detail.html
Ditto on the cat thing. Then agin, I don’t know many who have cats.
As for the film, I’d get it developed. Screw going to the trouble of trying to track down the owner. There may not be anything on it anyway. If there is, THEN if you’re so inclined, try to find the owner.
If there’s any Tranny Granny stuff on it, well, you have a funny story to tell over cocktails next time.
This may sound strange, but I think hunting teaches respect for and value of life. These people obviously have none. People suck sometimes.
Goddam jerks (the ray assholes). Every one of em oughta be punched in the nuts. On the half hour.
Some people are just no damn good. There, I said it.
Gas is down to $2.84/gal in my area.
Still cost me $80 to fill up the luvmachine, though.
**ppppbbbhhttt**
luvmachine?
BWAAA HA HAAA HAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*gasping for air*
*passing ou
Latinas think I’m GUAPO.
I think that term is considered antiquated speech.
I’m pretty sure the idion for good-looking is ‘bueno’ now.
idiot
idiom
/whatever
*scratches bald spot*
Conyo.
baldo
Um, no, lauraw.
Guapo is still used by Spanish speakers.
I heard it yesterday. I understand a lot of Spanish and can speak a little, too. I was in an office getting something notarized and the girls were talking about me in Spanish.
One of them said, “We’re talking about you.”
I said, “I know.”
I clearly heard the word “guapo” and they were wondering if I was married.
She said, “Ohhh, then we better stop talking about you, hahahaha. We think you’re cute.”
I was disappointed, though. They didn’t say muy guapo.
But I did find it interesting that she didn’t use the word “handsome,” which is the literal translation. But cute is good, especially at my age.
my mierda de toro machina is humming. Loud.
Maybe that should have been machina mierda del toro, but really, who cares?
Ah, well, maybe it’s a regional Latin-American thing.
The lady who told me that was a Cuban right off the boat, when Castro let some people go during the Clinton years.
I was a pretty good Spanish speaker once immersed and I’d get rolling with her, being a work buddy. But she interrupted me once and told me nobody used ‘guapo’ anymore.
I still use it.
Or maybe it was ‘hermoso?’
You know, it could have been ‘hermoso.’
Isn’t that some kind of cocktail?
Quiero que usted me quiera! — Robin Zanderchez
Somos pocos pero estamos locos.
We are few but we are crazy.
Should be the IB motto.
How about We’re all here cuz we’re not all there.
c34140a623e85573b099b05aaf0de6e0
c34140a623e85573b099b05aaf0de6e0
The NUMBERS!
*resetting timer*
Whew, that was close.
RG, How about “no cerveza, no trabajo”?
I’m a Lost junkie. I never watched the show despite all the good stuff I’ve heard from family and friends. I recently joined NetFlix and am in the process of getting caught up. I am at Season 2, the fourth episode. The next DVD is enroute!
Has the atomic bomb blown up the entire island yet?
Brew, have you ever seen that video “Addicted to Lost”?
It’s the Robert Palmer “Addicted to Love” song with video from the series.
I don’t watch the show but I liked it.
I’m sure you can find it easily.
I haven’t seen that. As soon as I’m caught up I’ll google it. Right now I’m hoping season 3 will come out on DVD before season 4 starts.
I’ll be commenting in the thread that apparently you Americans
can’t be bothered to comment…
in.
*twiddling thumbs*
just heard this remixxed at one of the hotter clubs/bars in melbourne, australia.
just about every girl in the building was grooving to this
Thanks for the info, Tom.
How about sending us the file?
I finally bought a new phone.
Leaving Nextel.
Nextel sucks.
The Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheesburger. 99 cents. ‘Nuff said.
Anybody have a recommendation for how to cook beef tips?
rare
Ha!
medium well
punk
Slowly! Very slowly. Like good sex!
Lipstick is right — medium well — and done slowly. With assurance… patiently… like good sex. Take your time. You’ll get there.
nobody wants steak jerky.
I can’t believe I’m responding to this now… I’m going to go slap myself in the face.
ow
medium rare, not well.
Pink in the middle.
Like sex.
Also, when you are slowly simmering the beef tips, use red wine and onions. Like good sex.
Dave, beef tips are not steak.
Kiss all your pink parts (Christian Slater) — but I still think beef tips need to be completely done — medium well.
Dave — did slapping yourself in the face feel good?
I had it in the crock pot on low for about 5 hours and they seem done. And dry.
1 lb. steak tips, 1 can beef broth, some dashes of soy sauce and spices.
Dry as a bone. I fling my apron in despair.
Anything medium or > medium = burnt.
Who likes dry, tastless meat?
Pink and juicy.
Like sex.
Steak tips in the crockpot?!?!?!
Blasphemy!
Are you making stew?
Steak MUST be grilled.
Like sex.
Anybody else think that Michael is getting lucky tonight?
She’s all saucy and sexy!
The poolboy is also named Michael?
Anybody else think that Michael is getting lucky tonight?
*crickets chirping*
Einstien, beef tips can be a variety of cuts, from tenderloin to blade, do you imagine me a meat philistine? I don’t know my way around a cow?
Which is why, they should be seared and cooked quickly, or cooked for hours.
Honestly. You insult me now. Yes, the crap at Krogers called tips is probably a rough cut.
I’ve chased cow. I know the good parts. And what to do with the not so good parts.
Beef tips can be slowly simmered in a pan to make them tender, like sex.
Throw some stewed tomatoes in there with the red wine and onion, and they won’t dry out. Also like sex.
I’ve chased cow.
Chased? Hell, you stump-broke a few of them.
You can simmer old foreskins in a pan to make them tender you goof.
Anything cooked slowly over low heat will be tender.
Except bone.
These are Cattleman’s beef tips.
We hauled a cooler full of meat home from El Paso.
Hell, you stump-broke a few of them.
Amazing what a couple of onions and a little red wine will do.
And could we get back to Lipstick flipping her apron up again?
Who likes dry, tastless meat?
Paul Pelosi?
Note to Elzbth:
In case you happen to read the recent comments on this thread, you do not want to know what “stump broke” means. Trust me about this.
I haven’t eaten a cheeseburger in 3 months.
I’ve been eating chicken breasts (2-3 lbs) for supper every night.
Off the grill, of course.
Lipstick,
Sorry about your beet tips. I suspect that Dave is on to something about quality of the meat. But that is okay. I never thought beef tips were considered high quality meat anyway.
It sounds like it needed to be tenderized. It might have needed more acid from something like wine, tomatoes, mustard, onions, to help break down the meat fibers. The soy sauce could have actually made it tougher, since it is high in sodium and can draw out the moisture. Salt at the end after it has cooked — is what I have heard from our son the culinary-dude. Sorry…
Suggest you not eat it tonight — instead — add a can of stewed tomatoes and onions and have it another night.
I don’t know what stump broke means either.
It’ll be fun to ask Mr. LS and see his look of surprise.
The soy sauce could have actually made it tougher, since it is high in sodium and can draw out the moisture. Salt at the end after it has cooked
Preach it, Sister.
Thank you Mrs. Michael !
I don’t know if you can call what you get from a Texas steer “beef”. OK, I mean, sure, if you had Grissom & the CSI team to a DNA analysis of what’s on your grill, it MIGHT come back as “bovine”, but it’s not really beef.
REAL beef comes from the midwest, preferably Iowa. Hell, our DEER taste more like real beef than Texas cattle do. Why do you think Texans came up with BBQ, anyway?
To hide the taste of the glorified armadillo meat they call “beef”.
Wow, this explains a lot of my kitchen mishaps.
I wrote #604 before seeing Russ’s comment!
Bart, you’re eating 2-3 lbs of chicken every night?!
Look, I didn’t mean to get all cow on this thing, but I know my way around a churrascharia card.
“Beef tips”, as advertised under the plastic, you’d best cook em like a brisket if you don’t want bloody, and that means 4 hours way low heat.
If you can handle the rarity, sear em for 30 seconds and eat.
Same tenderness.
Yeah, every. single. night.
I’m on a high protein/high calorie diet.
Still have my love handles, but for the first time ever
I’m actually showing muscular definition.
For breakfast: Cheerios and steel cut oats.
I also eat 4 dozen hardboiled eggs/week.
Go get yourself some protein powder. It’s a good thing.
Thanks for the “tips”
har-de-har-har
Thanks for the mammaries.
- B. Hope.
Cereal or oatmeal in the morning makes me put on fat. I love-LOVE- muesli but I haven’t touched it in years because of that. No matter how small a portion I ate- 1/4 cup! – I would feel the difference in my waistline in a week or two.
Lunchtime carbs (I eat lunch between 9-11 am) seem to have no effect.
Timing really is everything when you’re fine-tuning a diet.
I am timing the ice cream now… 2am. NO EARLIER
I saw Bob Hope live at the Veiled Prophet Fair in St. Louis on the Arch grounds.
Sorry, I know he was a great supporter of the military and all, but I couldn’t figure out why anyone ever thought that guy had any talent.
I look at those carbs as fuel.
And I better be burning that fuel or it sits in my tank (tummy).
So I make sure I don’t miss any training (workouts).
What did you say counselor?
What did you say about Bob Hope?
*eyes narrow*
I never saw him perform live, always saw the packaged Hope. But I did meet him once, with my dad, and one of my dad’s co-workers who was with the 5th SOF in Vietnam from 1967-69. Hope was signing books in a shop in North Dallas. Dad’s friend said “Mr. Hope, I saw you in Da Nang and I just wanted to shake your hand sir”, and Hope jumped up, sprang up, and thrust his hand out and said “No. I want to shake your hand. It’s a privilege”.
He may not have been the funniest guy in the world, or the most talented, but he had a genuine love for American servicemen and put his time and his fortune into it. That day I understood his sincerity.
Humbling.
2-3 lbs of chicken? Isn’t that a boatload of estrogen?
Oh.
And I thought my pecs were getting bigger.
All this time I was growing boobs.
Okay — give me crap, but I alway thought Bob Hope was SEXY. I loved watching him with Bing Crosby in the Road movies. He was tons funnier and sexier than Bing.
Many years ago during Viet Nam my cousin in the Navy sang in the Navy choir on Bob Hope’s show. Hope always took the risk and put himself on the line for the troops.
Like Dave said — he came across as humble, but also sweet and incredibly funny — and I think that appeals to women.
holymotherofgod. ‘kay, I’m new to IB lurking/commenting. I see “I Can Give You What You Want” incessantly in the new comments area. {Click}. 600+ comments (!) and the original video is kaput. Recent comments are about beef tips, Bart’s perky breasts and Bob Hope.
I am lost.
This thread is an expression of the music video rivalry between Michael and Retired Geezer. Every time Michael goes out of town, RG bumps it and encourages everybody to comment on it to make it a Top Post again.
Recent comments are about beef tips, Bart’s perky breasts and Bob Hope.
That happens on every thread.
Ahhhh, it’s all coming together now {tapping steepled fingers}.
I just wanted to talk about my new PDA phone.
Yeah, forgot to mention that Bart keeps trying to squat on this thread and claim it for his own.
OK Bart – which phone didja get?
RG bumps it
RG does not bump it. He is to classy to do that.
It’s that prick Brewfan who keeps bumping it, just to piss me off.
Here’s a new link to the video.
Yeah, forgot to mention that Bart keeps trying to squat on this thread and claim it for his own.
I’m OK with that, so long as everyone is careful to make sure that Bart does not learn about the two super-secret threads where we talk about him behind his back.
They’re not at IB, Bart, so don’t bother searching for your name here.
great. thanks geoff–I was hoping the whole “video kaput” thing would excuse me from reading the entire thread. Time to open a new bottle of vino for this endeavor…
…which phone didja get?
I don’t think you really care, geoff.
Okay, I got the T Mobile Dash. It’s an old model, but those are the ones you can get new for free.
{3:09 later}
alright, that video actually reinforced a stereotype of mine: musical chicks always look at what they’re playing. The keyboardist AND the drummer gals kept making sure they were hitting chords/keeping time.
Switching to tequila…
Bob Hope is Old School. Sure, he didn’t make you lose bladder control laughing, but he could share the spotlight with almost anyone, and he was one of those guys who figured that making his co-stars look good was just as important to the success of the picture as looking good himself. As far as his USO appearances go, he could have gone up on stage & read the freakin’ phone book for all the audience cared. He wanted to be there to entertain the troops, and the troops all appreciated what he was trying to do. Plus, he always brought quality womenfolk with him.
Brew, you’re eating 2-3 pounds of chicken a day? That’s, like, a whole chicken (either a small one w/the bones in, or a whole regular sized one de-boned). It sounds like you’re burning the calories just as quickly as you’re takin’ them in, correct?
Now Sobek, I’ve got no problem picturing HIM eating that much chicken…..in a single sitting even. I’ve seen “The Crocodile Hunter”, “Live & Let Die” and even that Lion vs. Water Buffalo vs. Crocodile video on the interwebthingy – so that’s no shock to me.
Thanks, Geoff. I fixed the post with your new YouTube link.
…you’re burning the calories just as quickly as you’re takin’ them in, correct?
Actually, that’s my last meal of the day.
I go to bed right after eating. (I know, not good).
But I wake up hungry! My metabolism is getting quicker on account of all the protein shakes I drink.
Okay, I got the T Mobile Dash.
And how does this phone make you feel?
FYI, Cuffy, the music video rivalry on this site began with the fact that the the cretinous unwashed proletarians who visit this site inexplicably rejected my excellent nomination for the Innocent Bystanders theme song.
Since then, there has been a conspiracy to deny me the praise that I am due for the excellent Sonific music selections which frequently grace my posts.
Oh yes. I know it’s a conspiracy, and I suspect that Dave in Texas is at the center of it.
You’re not gonna start the sonific crap again, are you?
Well, Michael.
There I was, hip deep in a 600+ thread, slugging it out in the salt mine. And I take a break to listen to your excellent nomination.
The last thing I need is a couple of dudes lipsynching Barbie Girl while performing Erotic Dance.
Back to the gulag…(I’m at ~250!)
Double thanks to Michael and Geoff. I had no idea that link was busted.
Bart, I can understand switching from Nextel. That flippin deedle-deet tone after you quit talking drives me nuts.
I’m as excited about my new Samsung phone as some people are with the new iPhones. It’s got a 2meg camera that takes excellent photos and a cool feature that allows me to put phone numbers on a REJECT CALL LIST. When someone on the list calls me, the phone doesn’t ring and they get routed to my voice mail but it doesn’t record their message.
Saweeet!
I’ve gotten about 25 telemarketers and 1 obnoxious client on the list. (I made the mistake of giving someone a freebie and now they expect it every time they call)
And how does this phone make you feel?
Well Doc, I wake up and she’s leaving the cave. I’m standing by the waterfall and it just makes me…
*breaks down*
2 meg camera? That’s great.
The Dash only has a 1.3meg cam and vid cam.
1.3 megs is a lot better than 640×480, that’s what I had for years.
I think my phone is called a Sync, it has a slot for micro SD chips. I have a 2gig chip now with 150 songs on it.
And I can create my own ringtones on my coughMac and drag them to my chip.
Here’s Mrs. Geezer’s ringtone.
(and all the IB Babes said “Awwwwwww, that’s so sweet”.)
Done—all 641 messages.
I learned a lot tonight. {twisting knob behind back} Many unique individuals here. {shuffling backwards} So many informative stories—stories of parrafin wax {hinges squeaking}, speed reading {creaking floor }, and pink, sexy beef tips {sprints from room}.
Stay Cuffy. We’re all harmless.
umm, pretty much.
Ain’t skeered. Many I know from Ace’s; others…well howdy do!
Glad to have you here.
Nighty night.
Maybe we can get another Q meme going.
Anyone remember in what thread that was…
in?
“Attention” thread?
*looks around for Michael*
Psssst, Cuffy, go visit my moronblog and get the lowdown on Paraffin.
Cuffy, I didn’t start reading this thread until it was up to almost five hundred posts. Now I feel whole … complete.
Cuffy, if you actually read this entire thread, it’s possible you might fit in here.
Maybe.
There’s just one more thing I would like to know.
When you read, do your lips move?
Nope, I use my hands. Like a half-Sicilian.
Cuffy’s Drunk Reading Comprehension: A+
Nope
Run! Run for your life!!!
We never did get back to Lipstick flippin’ up her apron.
Cuffy, now go to the Top Posts list in the sidebar and read my enduring classic, The Most Horrifying Commercial Ever. We’re at a loss to figure out why that keeps popping into Top Posts, as there aren’t any google search terms that might explain it. (At least according to Michael.) But it sure is popular.
How did we miss that cm?
It’s that prick Brewfan who keeps bumping it, just to piss me off.
You’re the wind beneath my wings.
We never did get back to Lipstick flippin’ up her apron.
I purposely did not say “flipping it up”, cause I knew you pervs would latch onto that!
Infamous Q thread
Lipstick, you say that like it’s a bad thing.
Dave, we’re getting older and forgetfuller.
Infamous Q thread
That was a funny thread. But now I can’t even remember which ones I did. A memory like a baby duck…
#5 and #10 were mine.
As usual, Bart gets the ball rolling…
I’m going to open a contest on my moronblog; I’m getting close to 200,000 fools visiting my site.
To be eligible, you have to be a regular commenter here at IB.
Not necessarily a main page commenter, just somebody that hangs out and adds comments every now and then.
The closest eligible person to the 200,000th visitor wins.
The prize: Your choice of either:
Idaho Coffee Mug
or
The Fiesta Bowl DVD which cost me $20.
FYI they always have that game playing on wide screen TV’s in every Wal*Mart in Idaho.
It’s the Law.
Should reach the magic number within the next week.
Now all I gotta do is remember how to figure out which visitor is which. I honestly forgot how I did it back in December 2005 for my 50,000th visitor.
Any suggestions?
Go to your Sitemeter, click on Recent Visitors By Detail, click on the “1″ at the beginning of your most recent visitor, and you’ll see where that visitor is in the running total at the top of the page. You’ll have to catch No. 200K while that visitor (and adjacent ones) are still in the most recent 100.
As soon as you get past 200,000, I guess you’ll have to publish IP address information of the 20 or so visitors closest to 200K and see if any IBer claims it. This assumes that IBers are capable of figuring out their own IP address, which could be a problem.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/T/TWO_RELIGIONS?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=US
Thanks, I forgot the last step.
I want to make sure one of my fakey internet friends wins.
I don’t want to give the prize away to some Scandi who stumbled onto my site by doing a Google search for ‘Paris Hilton’s Pooter or World’s Ugliest Dog’.
That search might yield the exact same results, come to think of it.
Good one, LauraW.
What are those Episcopalites thinkin’?
Approaching comment 666…
Seems apropros.
I love that lady!
Crazy priest’s super-bishop sez “nuh uh baby”.
http://hotair.com/archives/2007/07/06/guess-what-you-cant-be-a-muslim-and-a-christian-and-a-priest-at-the-same-time-after-all/
her local bishop is still an idiot, which is why there’s a lot going wrong in that church.