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The First Annual Innocent Bystanders Super Bowl Party™ — Update No. 1 September 4, 2007

Posted by Michael in News.
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The original schedule of events, beginning at 10 a.m. E.S.T., is here.

I’m fine with you bringing firearms to my house — an afternoon excursion to Pupster’s gun club is in the works in order to discharge weapons. Also, by popular demand, after this event Mrs. Michael will make her paraffin wax bath available for Dave for those with tender hands, in order to soothe the effects of recoil from shooting Dave’s Kimber.

Committed attendees are now as follows (I’m not counting “probably maybes”):

Retired Geezer and Mrs. Geezer

Dave in Texas

Skinbad and Mrs. Skinbad

Michael and Mrs. Michael

Kevlarchick (with spouse?)

Lipstick (with spouse?)

Pupster (with spouse?)

Update:  Russ from Winterset and Mrs. Russ

Pupster, by the way, has a van and is offering to help with transportation from the airport. I still have one open bedroom (with private bath). I’m not sure about Pupster — last I heard he had offered a room to the Skinbads.

We both, of course, have plenty of floorspace in the garage for Wickedpinto to flop.

Comments»

1. Retired Geezer - September 4, 2007

Looking forward to meeting y’all.

Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Michael for your hospitality.

2. daveintexas - September 4, 2007

Shooting a Kimber .45 is like massaging pretty breastages, to use a wonderfully apt expression of the anatomy I heard recently.

There is no recoil angst. It is a damn fine weapon.

And if we want to go do a shoot em up I’d be happy to bring it. I can’t carry in Ohio, but I can possess.

I was thinking about upgrading to the convertible Sebring, if anyone wants to take a midnight run with the top down.

*looking at you Geezer.

3. lauraw - September 4, 2007

Pupster, by the way, has a van

You should probably mention that this van has a nature scene airbrushed on the side of it. And naked-lady mudflaps.

Also, shag upholstery, red dingleberries in the windows, and a bare-breasted Viking Prow with the moniker ‘Luv Barge’ painted on the hood.

Tastefully, of course.

Ladies, beware the scent of chloroform.

4. daveintexas - September 4, 2007

Fuzzy dice.

I love those things.

5. Retired Geezer - September 4, 2007

Man, I hope he has one o’ them Velvet Elvis paintings inside.

With the topless Indian woman, grinding corn in the lower right corner.

Cause I just love that.

6. BrewFan - September 4, 2007

I was thinking about upgrading to the convertible Sebring, if anyone wants to take a midnight run with the top down.

Being February and all I alerted the car rental agency that you like your cars salted. Fresh lime will be provided in the glove compartment.

7. daveintexas - September 4, 2007

oh you got my back.

8. Pupster - September 4, 2007

Very close, just a few minor adjustments…

“You should probably mention that this van has a nature scene airbrushed big chunks of sod on the side of it. And naked-lady Spongebob mudflaps.

Also, shag ripped upholstery, red real dingleberries in the windows carpet, and a bare-breasted Viking Prow duct-taped side-view mirror with the moniker ‘Luv Barge’ Mom’s Taxi painted on the hood scratched into the windshield.” Fixed.

I offered room and board to the Skinbads in exchange for designated driver-ing.

*crickets*

*crickets*

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

I have a guest room available with a private 1/2 bath, must love dogs and kids. No ducks allowed.

Let me know how many of you want to go to the shooting range, and if you bring your own firearms, be sure to bring a ‘case’ for transport, that’s the rules of the range. You can buy paper targets and ammo there, and rent eye and ear protection. Handguns only, no rifles. I’ll bring my .38 Special and .22 revolvers, and a 9mm semi-auto for anyone who wants to give ‘em a try.

pupstersez at yahoo dot com

9. Pupster - September 4, 2007

And yeah, full size van, I can haul you to and from if you don’t want to rent a car, or if you are intimidated by speeds greater than 55mph in HOV lanes.

10. daveintexas - September 4, 2007

Oh fuckin A we get to go shootin!

Geezer! You on this dude? Your wish has come true buddy. I ain’t talkin about a french kiss neither.

11. lauraw - September 4, 2007

*real dingleberries in the carpet…?*

having touble…breathing…call 91…

12. Retired Geezer - September 4, 2007

Your wish has come true buddy. I ain’t talkin about a french kiss neither.

*taps foot excitedly*

Whoa, I think I just experienced a Tear of Seminal Longing.

Just sayin’

13. lauraw - September 5, 2007

Won’t be able to make it, because as the only boss and employee, I don’t get to give myself time off.

After eight years without a vacation, this is my theme song.

Best known version: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rigqvv2Dk1I

Better version: http://youtube.com/watch?v=uC13kSif8lc

I’m going back someday, swear.
How many times can you hear this song?

This is the most wrong version.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=niGxOz0i16I

And this broad? All she is, is a pair of CSL’s and a face. No range. None. But plenty of fans. Of CSL’s.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OjnilzmjyG0

14. skinbad - September 5, 2007

Check email Pups. I’ve got experience driving a van like the one being discussed. It has to have a 3 on the tree tranny and a drop down roof compartment for the two required eight-tracks: Jethro Tull “Storm Watch” when cruising with the boys and Jim Croce’s Best Of when being smooth with the ladies.

“A Tear of Seminal Longing” could give “High in Fecal Particle Density” a run for its money.

15. Russ from Winterset - September 5, 2007

I’ve got to ask the little woman for permission to make the trip, but you can put me in the “definite maybe” column. Is “Bandit the Wonder-dog” welcome? He’d like to come & say “hi” to Casey.

16. Casey - September 5, 2007

Bandit iz wel cum, but I like to growl and bark a bit at first jus to show hooz boss round heer!

17. pony - September 5, 2007

*eye roll*

that silly way to portray animal talk.

ridiculous.

pony think you silly now.

18. Casey - September 5, 2007

Silly. Takes one to know one.

19. Russ from Winterset - September 5, 2007

You know, now that I think about it, I’d probably better leave the Bandito at home. He’s great with other dogs & even ponies, but the trip to the shooting range might be a problem. He’s a pretty good shot, but the constant whining for me to put a laser sight on the .38 and the reminders that “Hey, I’d be a better shot than you are if I only had opposable thumbs.” get pretty annoying.

Pupster, does your range have limitations on what kind of ammo you can shoot? I know that most indoor ranges don’t want you shooting un-jacketed ammo anymore, so I’d have to be selective on what guns I might bring with me.

20. Retired Geezer - September 5, 2007

I know that most indoor ranges don’t want you shooting un-jacketed ammo anymore,

Yeah, we shoot plain ol’ cast lead in Cowboy Action Shooting. They make a big nasty cloud of death, although I’ve heard that there is lead in the primers also.

I shot a perfect 360 in the Nevada Senior Games with my friend’s gun.
He shot a 359.
Yeah, Dave, bring the Kimber.
*chuckles to himself*

21. Dave in Texas - September 5, 2007

I was just gonna buy ammo at the range… didn’t feel like lugging the extra weight.

22. Michael - September 5, 2007

I don’t own a handgun. Can I go to the range and argue with the targets?

23. Russ from Winterset - September 5, 2007

actually, RG, I think the nasty stuff in the primers is mercury. At least it used to be mercury. I could be wrong here, but I do know that mercury was used at one time.

Michael, you should just bring a knife with you. While the rest of us are poking holes in the targets from 25-50 feet away, you can stand up close and stick them repeatedly.

24. Dave in Texas - September 5, 2007

Can I go to the range and argue with the targets?

That works on targets. Not so good on drug-crazed junkies with a knife.

25. eddiebear - September 5, 2007

Can I go to the range and argue with the targets?

That’s too easy. I could insert a lawyer joke, but decorum (and the fact I may or may not attend) precludes me from hitting that low hanging fruit.

26. Retired Geezer - September 5, 2007

Mrs. Geezer has offered to let Mrs. Michael (and KC and Lipstick) shoot her gun.

27. Mrs. Michael - September 5, 2007

Yea!
Thanks Mrs. Geezer.
Sounds like fun!

28. Pupster - September 5, 2007

Un-jacketed ammo? Uh…I dunno, Russ. I always buy the cheap re-loads at the range. What kind of handgun or ammo did you want to bring? Shoot me and email and I’ll ask The Powder Room boys.

pupstersez at yahoo dot com

I am pleased to announce that the Pupster’s will be the host family to Mr. and Mrs. Skinbad of the Utah Skinbads.

On another, totally unrelated topic…does anyone know the best way to kill 30th generation fleas in bedding?

29. harrison - September 5, 2007

On another, totally unrelated topic…does anyone know the best way to kill 30th generation fleas in bedding?

Invite house quests and let them sleep in the infected bed.
When they go home, they’ll take them with ‘em.

30. Dave in Texas - September 5, 2007

That goes for me too, anybody wants some shootin lessons, there will be plenty to go round. I’ll bring a .380 also

31. Russ from Winterset - September 5, 2007

Pupster, I was thinking about bringing my .38 special, but most of the loads I’ve got have unjacketed lead bullets, which might not be welcome at an indoor range. If they’ve got their own .38 special loads, I’ll just buy from them.

I was debating whether to bring a 9mm Makarov, CZ52 in 7.62×25, or a CZ50 in .32 acp as a “second gun”. I figure KC might want to see how the Makarov & CZ50 shoot to see if she’s interested in one of them. All the loads for those pistols are FMJ, so the range having ammo for me is a moot point there. As far as “big bore guns” go, I’ll leave my .45 acp at home & just beg to shoot the Kimber instead.

32. PattyAnn - September 5, 2007

“Shoot me and email”

Somebody’s got something besides superbowl on their mind.

33. Retired Geezer - September 5, 2007

Looks like we’re gonna have good attendance at the range.
Since we don’t want it to interfere with the official plans, could Mrs. Michael kind of start organizing a schedule?

I think I’ll be bringing a .22 a .32 and a 9mm.

Oh and how close is the nearest Wal*Mart?

34. Russ from Winterset - September 5, 2007

You can move me & the little woman over from the “probably” camp to “definitely”.

I called my wife at work today & asked her “Honey, do you want to go visit John & Laurel (John went to H.S. & college with me, and we were in each other’s weddings, while Laurel is our dog Bandit’s original owner) in D.C. around the end of January? Oh yeah, and by the way, there’s a little shindig in Columbus Ohio that would be right on our way home on Superbowl Sunday.” She said yes, but only if “The Old Geezer” is going to be there. She’s a big Spudder fan, and wants to know if our cats B.O.B. and Hilton can guest-blog sometime.

(sooper sekrit note to the Geezers: Letting our cats guest blog would be a bad idea. All they do is whine about the Val-U-Rite Discount Catnip we give them & constantly ask “when’s dinner?”. Plus, I don’t think they’d be as cool about the threats & taunting from Dubya Pee as Spudder has been.)

35. Sobek - September 5, 2007

This sounds like it will be quite the shindig. Why does it have to be in freakin’ Ohio?

36. skinbad - September 5, 2007

Question for the well-armed militia members: What are the basics on flying with a handgun? Other than “don’t walk through the metal detector, you need to run !

37. Dave in Texas - September 5, 2007

You won’t have to beg Russ. Happy to let you shoot the Kimber.

I think KC and the other gals might like to see what the .32 is like.

Sobek, it’s one of the few states that me and the law haven’t had one of those little “misunderstandings” as I like to call them.

38. Dave in Texas - September 5, 2007

Oh, TSA and most airlines say:

Must be in hard sided, locked container. Unloaded. You can carry ammo in a separate container, like the ammo box. All of it goes in checked bag. When you walk up to the ticket counter you declare it, show em it’s unloaded, and lock it up. You fill out a little card they tape to it and you stick it back in your bag.

It’s not that painful.

39. Russ from Winterset - September 5, 2007

The best way to carry handguns on a plane is:

Drive your car instead.

I hear that flying with guns is no big deal, but I’ve heard enough stories about airline employees & even TSA screeners stealing stuff out of luggage that I’d rather mail the guns to Michael’s house before leaving on the trip than fly with them.

Of course, we’ll really be driving, so that question is moot.

40. Dave in Texas - September 5, 2007

actually, pups was kind enough to make that offer, which I will take him up on.

41. kevlarchick - September 5, 2007

I will be driving from Cincy and I can swing by the airport also.

All these guns! How can a girl choose! At one of the ranges near my house you can reserve the place for a “party”. Do you think we could do that at Pup’s place?

Haven’t talked to Mr Kevlar about it yet. You guys might like him better than me and I don’t think I can handle that.

42. Dave in Texas - September 5, 2007

All these guns

And there will be firearms too.

43. Pupster - September 5, 2007

I’ll stop by the range in the next few weeks to talk to them about the Super Bowl Pistol Party. I know they have a pretty strong ‘first come first shoot’ range policy, but I may be able to sweet talk them into a couple of reserved lanes and ammo, target, and safety equipment discounts. They open at 10:00 AM on Sundays, so it might be best to go there first thing and snap up a couple of shooting lanes.

*checks itinerary*

Could we possibly move the champagne brunch, councilor?

Mrs. Pupster is a stay at home, home schooling mom, so if any of y’all want to box up the pistols and ship ‘em to casa de Pupster, there will be someone to sign for them. Drop me an email and I’ll give you my address. It might be best to buy the ammo at the range, and I’ll be happy to get the pricing upon request.

44. kevlarchick - September 5, 2007

10am? We’ll miss church!

Unless we count the hours-long worship service that will occur that evening at the altar of football.

45. Mrs. Michael - September 5, 2007

#44 KC, we’ll miss our Sunday 11:00 a.m.also, but have a Saturday 5:30 p.m. worship we’ve not attended yet.

I can plan to have some breakfast/brunch stuff ready around 8:00 a.m. Sunday so that we can still make it to the range a little before 10:00 if this is what everyone wants.

BTW — This shooting range is less than 7 miles(15 minutes) from our front door.

46. daveintexas - September 5, 2007

what? we have to go to church? I didn’t see that on the itinerary.

can I wear boots?

47. harrison - September 5, 2007

Make sure you have pants and a shirt with those boots.

48. Pupster - September 5, 2007

Mrs. M.- You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You boys listen to what he’s got to say.

DinT – I don’t want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.

Mrs. M. – Dave, you get wise. You get to church.

49. lauraw - September 5, 2007

*Dave back-flipping down the center of the nave of Michael’s Lutheran church*

” The BAND! We have to get the band back together! ”

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lGo9Xe5dPos

50. daveintexas - September 5, 2007

I happen to wear a smokin pair of Wayfarers.

It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses

51. lauraw - September 5, 2007

Damn you, Pupster.

You started it. Nobody loves the Blues Brothers more than me. I owned all their ripped-off music at one time.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ea9mV9EhPvE

52. lauraw - September 5, 2007
53. daveintexas - September 5, 2007

back at ya lauraw, this one was my fav from the Blues Brothers.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UdqFPIWwFjg&mode=related&search=

second fav, Think

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QVImeWXWck0&mode=related&search=

if there’s anything better than Aretha I don’t want to know what it is.

54. daveintexas - September 5, 2007

and yes, that is a Hammond B3 Organ, prominently displayed in both tunes.

Accept no substitute.

55. geoff - September 5, 2007

Whaddya want for nothin’? Hrrrubbberrrr biskit?

Bow bow bow.

56. daveintexas - September 5, 2007

Mrs. Michael, I didn’t mean to be late. No I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

57. lauraw - September 5, 2007

You know Ms. Aretha was enjoying herself, pawing at that fine manflesh.

And she did a better bit of acting in her small part than most of those other musicians did. Chewing gum and acting sassy.

Can’t even stand it, I just love her to pieces.

Matt Guitar Murphy used to play at a club with one of my professors in college. Come to think of it, I think hubby has a story about the guy. Mr. Murphy was pretty well traveled around here at one time.

58. lauraw - September 5, 2007

Sunday I had a coool water biscuit and a Sunday-go-to-meetin’ bun.

(That means I had a watermelong and I took a little lady to church)

BOW BOW BOW

59. lauraw - September 5, 2007

watermelon, dammit

60. daveintexas - September 5, 2007

hee hee. Matt Guitar Murphy will do that to a woman.

Lou Marini, not even close.

Denton boy. You can tell by the nasally voice…

“chicken wire”?

61. Mrs. Michael - September 6, 2007

Sorry I missed the dialog earlier. I was on the back deck enjoying the night air with Mr. Michael.

Church is optional. But you guys make me laugh!

62. Wickedpinto - September 6, 2007

Just wake me up enough to roll out from under the tires before you back out of the garage.

63. Retired Geezer - September 6, 2007

^ Or not.

64. Retired Geezer - September 6, 2007

Count Mrs. G and me in for the meeting of our new Lutheran Overlords.

65. daveintexas - September 6, 2007

I would not make you laugh in church.

You would frown. And give me the stinky eye.

66. Wickedpinto - September 6, 2007

The “stinky eye,” is about repairing the gap between the lutherans and the anglicans.

67. sandy burger - September 6, 2007

I’ve got to admit, I’m kinduv jealous that you weirdos are gonna meet in person.

So, uh… want me to FedEx y’all some party favors?

68. Dave in Texas - September 6, 2007

Not if they come in different sizes.

That’s always a little embarrasing for me.

69. pony - September 6, 2007
70. lauraw - September 6, 2007

oops

71. Dave in Texas - September 6, 2007

hah

72. harrison - September 6, 2007

A-HA!!

73. Retired Geezer - September 6, 2007

*lower lip starts to tremble slightly*

You, you, mean there is no Pony?

74. lauraw - September 6, 2007

Yes, Geezer, there is a pony….a pony that lives on in all of our hearts, and he’s kind and good, and he’s humping the dustbunnies out of a leather recliner.

75. skinbad - September 6, 2007

Yes Retired Geezer, there is a pony.

He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life at its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no pony! It would be as dreary as if there were no Retired Geezers. There would no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

http://www.juntosociety.com/christmas/yesvirginia.htm

76. skinbad - September 6, 2007

Slow on the draw.

77. Retired Geezer - September 6, 2007

Geezer feel better now.

*high fives Skinbad and LauraW*

78. lauraw - September 6, 2007

back atcha

79. Dave in Texas - September 6, 2007

Born in the trailer
And raised in the weeds
Of Western Paducah
On wobbly knees
With mama beside you
To help you along
You’ll soon be a humping a couch.

All the long, lazy mornings
a drug-addled haze
Whipped cream on your withers
Bean dip in your mane
Could never prepare you
For what lies ahead
The run for the sofas so red –

And it’s jump on that sofa
As hard as you can
Pizza is delivered
Your moment’s at hand
It’s the chance of a lifetime
In a life without pants
And it’s high time you joined
In the dance
It’s high time you joined
In the dance –

Hump on fair pony! Hump like the wind

80. lauraw - September 6, 2007

It’s the chance of a lifetime
In a life without pants

*dirty chuckle*

81. skinbad - September 6, 2007

And it’s jump on that sofa
As hard as you can

It’s getting warm in here.

Good’un Dave.

82. Retired Geezer - September 6, 2007

I’ll be in my bunk.

83. Squirmy the Gerbil's Ghost - September 6, 2007

a pony that lives on in all of our hearts, and he’s kind and good, and he’s humping the dustbunnies out of a leather recliner.

Yeah, I got some looks from co-workers when I forgot myself in this quiet setting and laughed out loud at that gem.

Great tome Dave. I, I think I love you. But only in THAT way.

84. Squirmy the Gerbil's Host - September 6, 2007

Yeah, cut that you. You almost got me in trouble — again.

85. Squirmy the Gerbil's Host - September 6, 2007

*cut that out. Quit squirming while I’m trying to type.

86. PattyAnn - September 6, 2007

I think I found the pony. ♫wildfire♫/a>

87. compos mentis - September 6, 2007

PattyAnn, I’d just as soon shove large glass shards through my ears as click that link.

88. PattyAnn - September 6, 2007

Very good judgment, compos. Large shards would probably go through your ears and then down to your nether regions and we all know what would happen then. That would be loose.

89. Wickedpinto - September 6, 2007

(I’m VERY sorry good lady michael)

I think “The Pony” is Julio’s nickname.

90. skinbad - September 6, 2007

PattyAnn’s link has a great picture. That’s a saucy little pony. The photo is SFW, but it does show rubbers.

91. PattyAnn - September 6, 2007

Skinbad, you do know that pony’s a hermaphrodite?

92. daveintexas - September 6, 2007

anybody NOT know that old Fogelberg song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVIxMvBNMFc

kinda sweet. the pics are nice too

93. Retired Geezer - September 7, 2007

Yeah, that was a good song, among many that he did.
Good satire by you too.

94. Russ from Winterset - September 7, 2007

Actually, we might have a hitch in our plans. I’m still planning on coming, but my wife will be six & a half months into a particular medical condition at that time, and we’re debating on how she’ll handle the travel.

95. skinbad - September 7, 2007

Wow. That’s a lot better than “my dog ate my airline tickets.” Congrats, Russ.

96. Russ from Winterset - September 7, 2007

Thanks skinny. We’re still planning on coming to the Super Bowl party (after April, we don’t know how long it’ll be before we can make another road trip, so this might be our last one for awhile), but the details of the trip will be fuzzy until we get closer to February.

97. Dave in Texas - September 7, 2007

Mrs. Russ is knocked up? Awesome!

Many congrats Russ

98. Retired Geezer - September 7, 2007

Hope the Winterset Wildman can make it.

99. Mrs. Michael - September 7, 2007

That’s great, Russ!
Usually at 6-7 months, ya feel pretty great, have a burst of energy,and are not too big yet to be able to ride for long periods of time, but you might need to stop at all the rest areas are along the way.

100. harrison - September 7, 2007

Congrats, Russ!
Who’s the father?

101. Wickedpinto - September 7, 2007

harrison make me laugh out loud.

102. Michael - September 7, 2007

That’s great, Russ!. Usually at 6-7 months, ya feel pretty great, have a burst of energy . . .

Yeah right. The food budget for this event just went up 15%.

:)

103. Mrs. Peel - September 8, 2007

Wow, congratulations, Russ!

slightly related, I have a little nephew on the way, and I just bought him a copy of Where the Wild Things Are, complete with little Max and Wild Thing stuffed dolls. SO cute.

104. Retired Geezer - September 8, 2007

My kids loved me to read “Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb”.
I was very dramatic.

105. kevlarchick - September 8, 2007

Russ you will be a good daddy.

I loved being pregnant; I felt wonderful and ate everything in sight. Hopefully Mrs Russ will feel the same while carrying that precious angel.

106. daveintexas - September 8, 2007

oooo… good point KC. Russ, keep your hands and fingers away from her mouth.

107. daveintexas - September 8, 2007

ahem. the previous remark was a general swipe at pregnant women everywhere, and not directed at any particular individual who may or may not have been pregnant.

this is so not working, is it?

108. lauraw - September 8, 2007

Trouble Brewing.

109. kevlarchick - September 8, 2007

No offense taken Dave. I once polished off 25 hot wings in a single sitting whilst pregnant. I snarled if anyone crossed the plate rubicon.

110. daveintexas - September 8, 2007

did you stick a fork in their hand?

I’ve seen that.

I’m pretty much screwed, aren’t I? It’s ok. You can tell me folks.

111. Pupster - September 8, 2007

25 hot wings? I call that “Tuesday”.

*runs to drug store for EPT*

112. Michael - September 8, 2007

*Michael thinks about the consequences of pregnant attendee*

OK, everybody please bring a side dish.

113. daveintexas - September 8, 2007

some days you get the bear. some days the bear chews the airconditioning compressor to a mealy pulp.

that’s how some days go.