Does Pirate Talk Seem Sexually Suggestive to You? September 19, 2007
Posted by daveintexas in Crime, Gardening.trackback
Arrr, shiver me timbers and batten down the mizzenmast! Swab the deck! Avast and prepare to be boarded!!! Arrrrrrrr!
As lauraw pointed out yesterday, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Make me proud.
Needless to say, the “booty” reference has to come into play here.
Memo? What memo?
http://perfunction.typepad.com/perfunction/2007/09/talk-like-a-cow.html
Shouldn’t that be Memoo? What memoo??
Oh, talk like a cowboy. Nevermind.
*lisping, and gesticulating wildly* Firsssst, I’m going to get a Brazilian wax, just like that ssscrump-dilly-icious hunk of a man Bart! Then I’m going to get a pedicure and a paraffin treatment for my hands so they’ll look FAAAABULOOUUUUSSS! And finally off to the specialist for my weekly colon cleansing. *whispers* I know it’s time cause I had Mexican last night. *much louder* And boy was he MUCHO GRANDE if you know what I mean!! JEEZUS! Forget the tube doc . . . get out the garden hooossssse!
^
Butt Pirate!
You guys are killing me
I can’t get the freakin’hang of this…
arrrrr, Jim boy, climb on up yonder barrel there lad and hoist me an apple….lean yerself way over matey!
Just heard a cute one on the radio:
What’s a pirate’s favorite TV show?
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E RRRRR!
Alright lw, you just lost points for using the word “cute” and for repeating that joke.
I bet that was funny on the radio.
Did someone say cute?
http://i0005.photobucket.com/albums/0005/icanhascheezburger/2007/7/11/16/128286702153609759ICANHASBOOTY.jpg
You know what a pirate’s favorite kind of Scottish sock is?
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Tube socks.
What?
Arrrghhhh ye scurvy bilge rats, hoist me jib up high n tight, and give em a blast with the twelve pounder!!! Arrrrrr
This saucy wench prefers a blast from the long nines.
Arrrr, I’ll be in me bunk mateys.
Arrr, I didn’t make it to me bunk.
Man the bilge pumps!
What did Captain Hook die from?
Jock itch.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buck an ear.
That scurvy butt pirate is eying your poop deck, Cap’n!
This saucy wench prefers a blast from the long nines. you
Arrrr, I’ll be in me bunk mateys.
Arrr, I didn’t make it to me bunk. Man the bilge pumps!
Sweet nibblets that’s funny.
So, Capt’n, where’s yer buccaneers?
Under me buckin’ hat, ye scurvey dog!
Hoist the mains’l ya flea-bitten scalawags, and we’ll be plunderin booty afore the sun is over the yardarm….aaarrrr
A pirate saw his friend walk by with a paper towel on his head. “What’s up with the paper towel?” he called out.
His friend called back, “I’ve got a bounty on me head!”
Damn ye scurvy dogs! Arrrr, you’ve broken the mast! We can’t be p!underin’ booty with a broken mast.
Q. What’s funny about a black pirate?
A. Nothing, ye filthy racist.
Q. Where do pirates pay taxes?
A. The Aye Arrrr S
One more try …
I guess it’s time to recycle my Pirate joke;
(Condensed for Charity)
Guy walks into a bar and sees a Pirate.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your leg”?
“Arrrr, I fell overboard and a shark bit it off”
“Did it have dead eyes?”
“Arrrr, just like a doll”.
OK, I added that last bit.
“Why do you have a hook where your hand should be”?
“Arrrr (this dialect indicates that it is the Pirate speaking), some scurvy dog cut it off with a
OldsmobileCutlass.”“Why do you have a patch over your eye”?
“Arrrr, (Pirate again) a scurvy seagull shit in my eye”.
“A scurvy seagull (guy wants to appear hip by adopting Pirate slang) shit in your eye? How did that make you lose your eye?”
“Arrrrrrrrrr, it was me first day with the hook”.
I don’t know an effen thing about it, but I’ll take a stupid stab at the pirate thing:
Put yer lips to the scuttlebut an drink from the cask,
Then unpop your cork and fill up yer flask.
The barrelman’s fixin’ baggywrinkles atop
All mates to yer stations, ere’s no time to stop.
Hook up all yer bumpkins to brace up the sails
Or you scum er nere drinkin from Pusser’s rum pails.
Stash all loot below under births in the prow
Or its bimmy on bums or keelhauling you now.
Heave monkey fist balls to pull all yer lines in
Cuz it’s cut and run time, you scalawag kin!
What’s the favorite fast food restaurant of pirates the world over?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrby’s
I don’t know an effen thing about it
oh, does anybody think Mrs. Michael is bird doggin us?
You’ve all heard this one before, but it still rocks. This pirate walks into a bar. He’s got a big steering wheel stuck in his groin. So he goes to sit down and order a beer, and the guy next to him looks over and says, “Hey, did you know you got a steering wheel in your crotch?” And the pirate says, “Arrrr, I know! ‘Tis drivin’ me nuts!”
(and by “beer” I meant “rum”)
What does a pirate drive?
a Yarrrrrris