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Ten Least Appealing Euphemisms for Sex June 8, 2008

Posted by Sobek in Sex.
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1.  The Quaker Quickie

2.  The Two-Thrust Tango

3.  A squidgie

4.  British-style

5.  Polishing the hump

6.  Bringin’ the Pain

7.  Islamically-Correct Burka Banging

8.  The Pre-Planned-Parenthood

9.  Three Orders of Jalepeno Poppers, Four Rounds of Lite Beer, Spare Ribs, a Milkshake & Coitus

10.  Pullin’ a Michael

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1. harrison - June 8, 2008

“The Beast with Two Backs”

2. Pupster - June 8, 2008
3. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Burying the duck….

4. BrewFan - June 8, 2008

Playing Hide the Sausage

5. cathy - June 8, 2008

bearin’ down on the boner

6. cathy - June 8, 2008

gainst-the-wall-skirt-lifter

7. cathy - June 8, 2008

kinky linky

8. lauraw - June 8, 2008

muddin’

9. lauraw - June 8, 2008

gettin’ your Malor on

10. lauraw - June 8, 2008

O’Donnelling

11. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

#9 wins already. I ain’t even tryin.

12. Pupster - June 8, 2008

taking the dog to the beach

13. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Paul Giamatti

14. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Poppin’ some crusty sores……on Paul Giamatti

15. lauraw - June 8, 2008

tunnellin’ the tuna

16. lauraw - June 8, 2008

punch the merkin

17. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Put my hands around your throat and very slowly extinguish your life

18. lauraw - June 8, 2008

fake an orgasm

19. lauraw - June 8, 2008

own the sidebar

20. Michael - June 8, 2008

Giving Dave a chance.

21. lauraw - June 8, 2008

close your eyes and think of someone better lookin’

22. lauraw - June 8, 2008

cut it off

23. lauraw - June 8, 2008

unclogging the gutters

24. lauraw - June 8, 2008

slidin’ around in a pool of vomit

25. lauraw - June 8, 2008

dominating the thread

26. lauraw - June 8, 2008

fallin’ down a well

27. lauraw - June 8, 2008

puttin’ the dog down because he caught rabies….from Paul Giamatti

28. lauraw - June 8, 2008

gettin’ stung in the eye by a hornet

29. Michael - June 8, 2008

The Brewfan minute.

30. lauraw - June 8, 2008

gettin’ cancer

31. lauraw - June 8, 2008

movin’ to Texas

32. lauraw - June 8, 2008

hunkerin’ down in the foxhole

…actually, that one doesn’t sound too bad. Hmm.

Diggin’ the trench

33. lauraw - June 8, 2008

dump the body

34. lauraw - June 8, 2008

crushin’ figs

35. lauraw - June 8, 2008

pushin’ Michael off the sidebar

36. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Discoverin’ he’s tiny

37. lauraw - June 8, 2008

the shameful thing we never talk about

38. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Beatin’ the snake

39. lauraw - June 8, 2008

slashin’ and cuttin’ and bleedin’

40. Retired Geezer - June 8, 2008

Representin’ the Spudders.

41. Sobek - June 8, 2008

Laura, I get the impression you’ve had a lot of disappointment in your life.

42. Retired Geezer - June 8, 2008

Standing up your pal at the airport.

No, wait.

43. lauraw - June 8, 2008

cutting a hole in the sheet

44. lauraw - June 8, 2008

skippin’ foreplay

45. lauraw - June 8, 2008

preparin’ a brief

46. TGWFTDD - June 8, 2008

Cruisin’ for road kill

47. lauraw - June 8, 2008

I get the impression you’ve had a lot of disappointment in your life.

Follow it with “…and this time will be no different.” and you have what Sobek says before foreplay.

48. Retired Geezer - June 8, 2008

skippin’ foreplay

Does that mean that yelling “Brace Youself”, isn’t foreplay?

Who knew?

49. harrison - June 8, 2008

Damn, girl…

50. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Yes…it is too my birthday again already.

51. lauraw - June 8, 2008

stumble over a corpse

52. lauraw - June 8, 2008

hurting the clam very badly and then crying together

53. lauraw - June 8, 2008

takin’ a break

No, for real, I have to take a break. bb in a bit

54. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Damning the torpedo

55. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Storming the beach head

56. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Lighting the candle

57. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

discovering he’s tiny? how’s that a euphemism for sex? wait

*looks up euphemism in dictionary

yeah, ok. have we expanded our sexual terms to mean anything disappointing about sex then?

cuz I got one for tiny.

finding out he’s a pinky

the.worst.ever

58. Sobek - June 8, 2008

Raiding the tomb.

59. Sobek - June 8, 2008

Opening the necronomicon.

60. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Snaking the drain

61. Sobek - June 8, 2008

Summoning Cthulu.

62. Sobek - June 8, 2008

Failing your saving throw against abstinence.

63. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Fruitlessly searching for the man in the boat

64. Sobek - June 8, 2008

Hookin’ up with Rosetta.

65. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

pushin’ Michael off his sister

66. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Cow-punching

67. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Detaching the abdominal muscles

68. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Making the helicopter

69. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Headboard haiku

70. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Makin’ the beast with Ed Asner’s back

71. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Rattling the molars

72. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Bumping humps

73. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

Detaching the abdominal muscles

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That’s just awful!

74. lauraw - June 8, 2008

The Ernest Borgnine bounce

75. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Quid quo HELLO

76. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

stupid drugs knocking me back out i’ll bbl

77. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Um..pro

78. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Dropping the roofie

79. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

Puttin on the Ritz.

fuck. I got NOTHING

80. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Painting like Pollock

81. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Messin’ with Texas

82. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Paraplegic leap-frog

83. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

I am so not in the groove.. DAMMIT.

Ok, “throwing one into the flat”

“Kicking up your heels (self explanatory really)”

A job well done.

Don’t push the Red Button.

84. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

DEFCON One

85. Pupster - June 8, 2008

There’s nothing on TV

86. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Condition PINK

87. Pupster - June 8, 2008

Releasing the hound

88. Retired Geezer - June 8, 2008

Failing your saving throw against abstinence.

Somewhere, Ace just chuckled to himself and wondered why.

89. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

iiit’s a small world after alllll

90. Pupster - June 8, 2008
91. Mrs. Peel - June 8, 2008

I really hope ECC and Catherine aren’t reading this thread.

92. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

You need a new transmission for your girl’s pickup Mr. Dave.

*flaccid*

93. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Breakin’ a bitch

94. Michael - June 8, 2008

Watching reruns on the History Channel.

95. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Communicating some warts

96. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Selfish Time

97. lauraw - June 8, 2008

Thinking about your brother

(both)

98. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

I give. Laura is kicking my ass.

Oh wait, here’s one.

It was a rainy night
When he came into sight,
Standing by the road,
No umbrella, no coat.
So I pulled up alongside
And I offered him a ride.
He accepted with a smile,
So we drove for a while.
I didnt ask him his name,
This lonely boy in the rain.
Fate, tell me its right,
Is this love at first sight?
Please dont make it wrong,
Just stay for the night

99. geoff - June 8, 2008

Bouncin’ on the flesh trampoline

100. Michael - June 8, 2008

Sharing your feelings.

101. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

picking up a can in the yard

102. Sobek - June 8, 2008

The Wet Noodle Waltz

103. Sobek - June 8, 2008

Thinking up inappropriate names for children’s cereal.

104. Lipstick - June 8, 2008

gettin’ your Malor on

Well that’s just like Novocain to the kitty.

105. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

HAHAHAHHAA

106. lauraw - June 8, 2008

That’s it??!!

I work my grotesque hump off coming up with oodles of this shit, and the first ACTUAL LAUGH comes from a side-comment delivered by some random hot blonde??!!

OH. OH. OK.
FINE.

FIIIINE.

I see how it is.

No, really.

No, it’s fine. I’m glad someone was finally able to make you happy. Really Dave. If you’re happy, I’m happy.

*simmering in jealousy*

*thinking about slashing LD’s tires*

107. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

as long as you’re happy toots.

oh, here, member this?

108. lauraw - June 8, 2008

LOUDER

LOUDER

109. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

those crazy squids

110. Michael - June 8, 2008

Gettin’ funky with “Toots”

111. cranky - June 8, 2008

I got nothing.

That’s what she said

112. Retired Geezer - June 8, 2008

Are you done yet?

113. Tushar - June 8, 2008

badgering the beaver

114. Tushar - June 8, 2008

exploring the bat-cave

115. Tushar - June 8, 2008

brushing the bush

116. Lauraw's husband - June 8, 2008

humping the hump

117. Tushar - June 8, 2008

stroking the goat

118. Tushar - June 8, 2008

clearing the throat

119. Tushar - June 8, 2008

filling the bucket

120. Tushar - June 8, 2008

plugging the socket

121. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

oh, here, member this?

These videos actually get me misty when I see them. These men and women sacrifice so much for our country and spend so much time away from their loved ones. I just like seeing them having a good time. I’m so, so proud to be an American. God Bless the U.S.A

*bawl
k, I’ll shut up now stupid drugs

122. See-Dubya - June 8, 2008

Draining the swamp

123. Tushar - June 8, 2008

cunching the punt

124. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

riding the skin bus to tuna town

125. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

here punkin… love this one too

126. Rosetta's husband - June 8, 2008

fingering the dike

127. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

creaking bed syndrome

128. Tushar - June 8, 2008

putting cream on the taco

129. Tushar - June 8, 2008

freaking the beaver out

130. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

here punkin… love this one too

haha, I spent a half hour watching them

131. Tushar - June 8, 2008

taming the shrew

132. Tushar - June 8, 2008

groping the gerbil

133. Tushar - June 8, 2008

feeding the pu$$y

134. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

Latin pool boy and executive’s wife

warden’s wife and escaped prisoner

135. daveintexas - June 8, 2008

Odd fun fact. When I wanted to buy an 88 key keyboard, something with read piano action, for eldest, I got this Yamaha for her.

not sad. Nuh uh. Not one bit.

136. Tushar - June 8, 2008

pu$$y catches a mouse

137. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

nerdy college professor and hot sexy undergrad desperately in need of a “A”

138. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

as an aside, I got an “A” in all my math classes

139. Tushar - June 8, 2008

>>as an aside, I got an “A” in all my math classes

On your own, or…..

140. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

what?

141. pajama momma - June 8, 2008

the devo whip

the angry pirate

*I did get A’s tushar but I’m just teasing as to the reason why

142. Retired Geezer - June 8, 2008

I’m with the band.

143. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

A little “me” time

144. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

slapping leather

145. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

riding the hog

146. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

waxing the lane

147. Tushar - June 8, 2008

enter the dragon

148. Tushar - June 8, 2008

burying the bone

149. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

wasting some condoms

150. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

disappointing the slut

151. Muslihoon - June 8, 2008

Failing your saving throw against abstinence.

Hahahahahaha!

Where’s Rich J?

This is so The Hostages.

152. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

sticking the landing

153. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

once more into the breach

154. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

removing the tampon

155. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

blogging

156. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

feeding the dog

157. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

playing the clarinet

158. Tushar - June 8, 2008

putting the coon into the poon.

159. wiserbud - June 8, 2008

sanding the deck

160. doc - June 8, 2008

Ignoring the stench

161. doc - June 8, 2008

stuffing the donut

162. doc - June 8, 2008

moistening the wick

163. doc - June 8, 2008

slapping little jonny behind the ear

164. doc - June 8, 2008

defying gravity

165. doc - June 8, 2008

rubbing one in

166. doc - June 8, 2008

parting the red sea

167. doc - June 8, 2008

maxing daddy’s credit card

168. doc - June 8, 2008

doing your best bunny impersonation

169. doc - June 8, 2008

shake rattle and roll

170. doc - June 8, 2008

the most exciting 2 minutes in the bedroom

171. doc - June 8, 2008

taking dictation

172. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

Greasing the thighs. (of a fat naked woman.)

173. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

Upgrading the countertops.

174. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

practicing your backhand

175. Pupster - June 9, 2008

The payoff

176. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

exercising at the Y

177. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

teaching her a lesson

178. Pupster - June 9, 2008

Giving the high-hard one

(or in wiserbud’s case, .5 of one)

179. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

gaining a respect and greater understanding for her feelings.

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!

180. Pupster - June 9, 2008

Checking for ticks

181. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

hard?

182. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

going deep

183. Rose Etta - June 9, 2008

Taking it on the chin

184. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

tossing the salad

185. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

taking one for the team

186. Sasquatch - June 9, 2008

The agony of her feet

187. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

making copies

188. Rose Etta - June 9, 2008

Strappin’ on the 2 X 4

189. Rose Etta - June 9, 2008

Looking for my keys

190. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

spelunking

191. lauraw - June 9, 2008

The humiliation game

192. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Passin’ the Clap

193. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

ping pong

194. lauraw - June 9, 2008

breakin’ a hip

195. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Kneelin’ on a nut and apologizin’ profusely

196. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Gettin’ toothy wid it

197. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Makin’ it really sting bad

198. eddiebear - June 9, 2008

Once in a blue moon.

199. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Making her regret her decision

200. daveintexas - June 9, 2008

this won’t hurt a bit

201. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

shaving the cat

202. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Paining the peepee

203. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Blurtin’ out some wrong names

204. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

hoping she’s asleep

205. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Wakin’ her up angry

206. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Throwing a hot dog down a hallway. (Sobek only)

207. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

proving her wrong

208. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Tapping into the Titan Arum.

209. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Celebrating your eleventh birthday.

210. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

going to lunch

211. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Eating the worm.

212. daveintexas - June 9, 2008

wait, I like 205

213. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Making the next Hitler.

214. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Dropping the kids off in the stink hole.

215. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Splitting the mud flaps.

216. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Rape.

217. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Meeting R. Kelly.

218. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Finding your long lost sister.

219. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Feeding the meter.

220. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Rape.

I almost posted that one yesterday but decided it was too Rosetta-ish

221. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Airing a grievance.

222. lauraw - June 9, 2008

What I learned from watching Rosetta’s Mom

223. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

I almost posted that one yesterday but decided it was too Rosetta-ish

You didn’t think of it because of your boob fetish.

224. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Cornholing.

225. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Killing a clown.

226. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

lauraw’s dad returns to prison.

227. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Voting for hope and change.

228. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Pretending to care.

229. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Dying inside.

230. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Menege a Clinton.

231. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

placating

232. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Hopefully not getting AIDS.

233. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

getting ready to rumble

234. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Campaigning for John McCain.

235. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

making the Kessel run in less than three parsecs (I’m almost ashamed to admit that this came to mind)

236. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

rLOVEution!

237. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Poking the placenta.

238. Dave in Texas - June 9, 2008

arrrrrr, swabbing the deck. Battening down the hatches. Hoisting the mizzenmast.

Really, there are hundreds of these.

239. Dave in Texas - June 9, 2008

Prepare to be boarded.

240. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

making the Kessel run in less than three parsecs (I’m almost ashamed to admit that this came to mind

Hahahahaha!! Nice one, Russ.

241. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Listening to Susan Sarandon.

242. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Retiring early.

243. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Investing for the short-term.

244. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Eating Beggin’ Strips.

245. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Flipping your son upside down and putting his penis in your mouth.

246. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Meeting Ron Jeremy.

247. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Auditing and clearing.

248. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Listening to the Special Comment.

249. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

The Foot Fist Way

250. Dave in Texas - June 9, 2008

Fucking Chris Rock

251. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Eating your vegetables.

252. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Marrying OJ Simpson.

253. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Shorting the Vietnamese Dong.

254. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Why didn’t anyone tell me this thread was happening? That’s it. We’re takin’ this to 1000!

255. kevlarchick - June 9, 2008

I read all these and did not see “playing army.”

256. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Giving the dog a bone

257. Rich J - June 9, 2008

shootin squirrels

258. Rich J - June 9, 2008

making love

*spt*

259. Rich J - June 9, 2008

turkish prison delight

260. Sobek - June 9, 2008

May I just point out that we have over 250 comments, and they are all on-topic?

What did I fall asleep and wake up in Crazy Town?

Back on topic:

Falling asleep and waking up in Crazy Town.

261. Rich J - June 9, 2008

falling into a gutter and getting wet and dirty

262. Rich J - June 9, 2008

brown eye surprise

263. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Taint painting

264. Rich J - June 9, 2008

anticipatory ejaculation

265. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Riding the Non-Stop Disappointment Express

266. Rick Astley - June 9, 2008

Getting Rick Rolled.

267. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Beating the spread

268. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Feng: Ping pong, or as the Chinese say: “Ping pong”.

Serving Feng

Playing with balls…of fury

Mastering meeting the dog

(“Sexual intercourse in Chinese is “jiaogou”: “jiao” means “meet” and “gou” here means “marry, copulate” but “gou” with a different tone and character, means “dog”. Errrr, never mind.)

269. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Spread the batter

270. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Cover the tramp stamp

271. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Milk the cow into the bucket

272. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Fun before the pizza delivery – wait for only 29.5 minutes

273. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Justify the shorty robe

274. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Mess the tarp

275. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Play with the houseboy…with toys!

276. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Give Julio the Poolboy his tip

277. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Muslihoon- did you just rent that movie too?

Ordering the Surf and Turf

278. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Going Balls Deep

279. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Quarterback Sneek

280. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Running the Option

281. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Putting it between the uprights

282. Rich J - June 9, 2008

3rd and Short

283. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Running a Hook Pattern

284. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

I watched it some time ago. Awesome movie.

Seeking sudden death (what part of it don’t you understand?)

Giving the Grim Reaper a hard time (little death…get it? Errrr, never mind.)

285. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Bart’s meeting the guys for drinks

286. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Taking a break from reading great books

287. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Bart’s meeting the guys for drinks

288. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Christopher Walken=Feng

Almost busted a gut.

Busting a gut.

289. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pulling a Crazy Ivan

290. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Carnal Tunnel Syndrom

291. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Standing in line at the DMV.

292. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Party at the pereneum

293. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

The Suicide Squeeze

294. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Having a bowl of Kellogg’s Fuck Flakes.

295. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

shocking the monkey

296. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

What do I win for combining sex and cereal names?

Cash?

297. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

determining the sex

298. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Suffocating the Bald Midget

299. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Using a receptacle.

300. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Reupholstering the ottoman.

301. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

emulating the Hostages

302. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Retraining Rosie O’ Donnell.

303. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Siegfrieding Roy.

304. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

emulating the Hostages

Hahahahaha.

305. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Spelunking.

306. Rich J - June 9, 2008

“What do I win for combining sex and cereal names?”

I don’t know, but PJM offered me a blow job the other day. Maybe Sobek could do the same.

307. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Splitting the entree.

308. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Infiltrating the rear echelon

309. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Spelunking.

Fail.

310. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

hijacking the blog

311. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

I don’t know, but PJM offered me a blow job the other day. Maybe Sobek could do the same.

You want Sobek to offer you a blow job?

Homo.

Here’s my new favorite joke:

*Rosetta, to wiserbud: Are you a fag in a cage?

*wiserbud: No!

*Rosetta, pointing at wiserbud: FAG ON THE LOOSE!!! FAG ON THE LOOSE!!!

312. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Running the Gauntlet

313. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Spelunking.

Fail.

Dammit…

314. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Cherry Picking

315. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Using Daddy’s Fingers.

316. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Using Mao Tse Tongue.

317. Tushar - June 9, 2008

mowing the lawn

318. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Riding in the Ford Fellatio.

319. Tushar - June 9, 2008

burying the hatchet

320. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Discriminating against brown people.

321. Tushar - June 9, 2008

stinking up the joint

322. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Oh hey, Tushar. Didn’t see you there.

323. Tushar - June 9, 2008

>>Discriminating against brown people.

Fluttering the brown eye.

324. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Doing the “Jew”.

325. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Rosetta, did you check the comment by your husband?

326. Rich J - June 9, 2008

“You want Sobek to offer you a blow job?”

Only if Sobek’s a hot chick without any mouth ulcers. Otherwise, it’s all yours. Enjoy.

327. Tushar - June 9, 2008

oiling the pole

328. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Bathing in fish sauce.

329. Tushar - June 9, 2008

enlarging the hole

330. Tushar - June 9, 2008

pleasing the prole

331. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Shucking the oyster.

332. Tushar - June 9, 2008

swallowing the mole

333. Tushar - June 9, 2008

dancing around the cave entrance

334. Tushar - June 9, 2008

stirring the honeypot with a sugarcane

335. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Digging a Glory Hole

336. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Sleeping over at Father Pflegers.

337. Tushar - June 9, 2008

stirring the witche’s couldron.

338. Tushar - June 9, 2008

jumping over grand canyon, and falling in.

339. Tushar - June 9, 2008

invading Poland

340. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Pap smear.

341. Tushar - June 9, 2008

marching into Paris

342. Tushar - June 9, 2008

drop a bunker-buster on the cave

343. Tushar - June 9, 2008

smoke-out the snake

344. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Driving the bit through the cobbles

345. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Jack ‘n’ Jill.

346. Tushar - June 9, 2008

shucking and jiving

347. Tushar - June 9, 2008

drilling up the pavement with a jackhammer

348. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Crossing the Rhine

349. Tushar - June 9, 2008

romancing the stone

350. Tushar - June 9, 2008

breaking the Maginot line

351. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Sharing the peace pipe.

(Bart, wiserbud and Rich J only)

352. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pushing through the Clay Layer

353. Tushar - June 9, 2008

blockading the Suez canal.

354. Tushar - June 9, 2008

drilling in ANWR (cold and frigid – get it?)

355. Tushar - June 9, 2008

shooing the Penguins

356. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Biting the lower lip.

357. Tushar - June 9, 2008

deepwater drilling

358. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

hijacking the blog

wiserbud,

Do we own this thread? Should it go in the Hostages Hall of Shame?

Will that irritate lauraw? Hopefully.

359. Tushar - June 9, 2008

putting the camel’s nose into the tent.

360. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Sparging in the Vadose Zone

361. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Giving the dog a bone.

362. Tushar - June 9, 2008

the Exxon-Valdez disaster

363. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Reciting pi to the 100th decimal.

364. Tushar - June 9, 2008

riding the poon pontoon

365. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Yea! I can use technical terms at work as euphamisms for sex. I might learn to like my job again.

366. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

the Exxon-Valdez disaster

Hahahahahaha!!

367. Rich J - June 9, 2008

punching the clock

368. Tushar - June 9, 2008

hoisting the black flag

369. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Sobek’s thread, Sobek’s problem.

Glad you guys came over to lend a hand though.

370. Tushar - June 9, 2008

>>the Exxon-Valdez disaster

Think about it. Narrow channel, massive ship, spillage of toxic liquids.

371. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Spilling Crude Oil All Over Her Prestine Shores

372. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Smack my bitch up.

373. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pump and Treat

374. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Glad you guys came over to lend a hand though.

We’re like the police except for stupid.

375. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

yeah, good thing we’re here. Otherwise this thread would have stayed respectable and junk.

winterizing the pipes

376. Tushar - June 9, 2008

hiding the Ewok

377. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Direct Push

I don’t care if no one else gets it, it’s funny to me.

378. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Pee Wee and the Giant’s Gate

379. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Bobsledding.

380. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Now with more Bob.

381. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Driving Miss Daisy

382. Tushar - June 9, 2008

stuffing the Turkey

383. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

going to the bullpen

384. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Grouting the Hole

385. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Smacking the Gob

386. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

lancing the boil

387. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Sliming the hagfish.

388. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

removing the crust

389. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Firing the Death Star
Angering the Wookie
Failing Lord Vader for the Last Time

Riding the Worm
Letting the Spice Flow
Giving Water to the Dead

Engaging the Warp Drive
Decloaking the War Bird
Violating the Prime Directive

Getting Stuck in the Spam Filter

390. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Twisting the Knife

391. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Pulling the goalie.

392. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

swabbing the poop deck

393. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Driving the Semi through a dark tunnel.

394. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Bend it like rectum.

395. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Jabbing Jabba the Hut in the Gut.

396. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Tagging the Bottom

397. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Looking for the real killer.

398. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.

399. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Shutting up Jar Jar.

400. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Eating organic Arugula

401. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

getting a tummy tuck

402. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Liquor in the rear, have a washcloth near.

403. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Staking the Centerline

404. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Opening a can o’ wartass

405. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Putting some Ice on it.

406. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

going to a whine tasting party

407. Tushar - June 9, 2008

entering the echo-chamber

408. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Playing Dirty Pool

409. Tushar - June 9, 2008

swallowing your pride.

410. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Getting your “Webelos” badge.

411. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Picking Pussy Boogers

412. Tushar - June 9, 2008

letting the fox into the henhouse

413. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

beating the bush

414. Tushar - June 9, 2008

bull in a china shop

415. Tushar - June 9, 2008

beating the thrush

416. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

regretting a thread

417. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Keeping it in the family.

418. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Wasting $25.

419. Rosetta's West Virginia Relations - June 9, 2008

Cousining

420. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

going home again

421. Tushar - June 9, 2008

punching the pilllow

422. Tushar - June 9, 2008

setting the cellphone to ‘Vibrate’

423. Tushar - June 9, 2008

taming the one-eyed snake

424. Tushar - June 9, 2008

spilling the beans

425. Tushar - June 9, 2008

putting the pipe organ in the Cathedral.

426. Dave in Texas - June 9, 2008

emergency room

427. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Galloping in the open Prairie

428. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Scrunt scrapin’

429. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Diving in Texas

430. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Going in with both scrotes swinging

431. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Regrettable Incident

432. Tushar - June 9, 2008

taunting the monkey

433. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Sharing the Syphalis

434. Tushar - June 9, 2008

poking your nose in someone else’s ‘business’.

435. Tushar - June 9, 2008

making banana milkshake.

436. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

going off your diet

437. Michael - June 9, 2008

Wasting a Trojan.

438. Sobek - June 9, 2008

“Opening a can o’ wartass”

Ewwwwwwwwwwww…

I actually think it would be pretty cool if this thread made it into the Comment Hall of Shame at a different blog.

439. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Having a slice of apple pie

440. Tushar - June 9, 2008

grazing in the countryside

441. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

an exercise in futility

442. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Hoe the ho.

443. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Sowing your wild oats, and praying for a crop failure.

444. Tushar - June 9, 2008

stretching a euphemism.

445. Tushar - June 9, 2008

gobbling up the bobblehead doll.

446. Tushar - June 9, 2008

squeaking the dork.

447. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

putting lipstick on the pig

448. Rich J - June 9, 2008

manipulating the actuator.

Wait, that would be a euphamism for beating off.

Wait again, it works because that’s the closest thing to real sex most of you morons get.

449. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

hiding the Torah

450. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Plowing the Field

451. Tushar - June 9, 2008

inflaming the passion of the proletariat

452. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Feeding Rich J’s obsessions

453. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Hoisting on a Pitard

454. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Interpreting the Koran.

455. Rich J - June 9, 2008

going to therapy

456. Tushar - June 9, 2008

reciting the Camel-Sutra

457. Rich J - June 9, 2008

feeding at the trough of capitalism

458. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Inserting tab A into slot B

459. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Party of Five.

460. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

getting your hands on a damn, dirty ape.

461. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

grading the student

462. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Ward disciplining the Beav.

463. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Silencing the lambs.

464. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Learning about the birds and the bees.

465. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

icing the cake

466. Tushar - June 9, 2008

taming the baboon

467. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

dropping the kids off at their mom’s

468. Tushar - June 9, 2008

sending Indiana Jones into the Temple of Doom

469. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Fighting the War On Terror- who could say no to that?

470. Rich J - June 9, 2008

eating muslim babies

471. Tushar - June 9, 2008

raising the voltage, lowering the resistance and plugging the shunt

472. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Killing a terrorist- Everytime you have sex, a terrorist dies.

473. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Making sweet love.

474. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Erecting a monument.

475. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Eating Spam

476. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Connecting the Blade to the Hub

477. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Mounting the nacelle

Again, probably only funny to me.

478. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Developing Pumped Storage Cabability

Work is fun again.

479. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Capability not cabability. Retard.

480. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Needling the canyon

481. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Subverting the Will of the People

482. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Boring the Cylinder and Polishing the Head

483. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Syncing your i-Pud.

484. Tushar - June 9, 2008

polishing the pearl in the Oyster

485. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Visiting the zoo.

486. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Searing the ahi.

487. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Getting Lost in My Own Depravity

488. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Visiting the zoo.

Hahahahahaha!!! That one cracks me up.

489. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Tapping the Hot Springs

490. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Putting my head on your shoulder.

491. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Confusing you and your sister.

492. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Paying a visit to Clay Aiken

493. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Putting it up on the rack

494. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Gigging the Frog

495. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Sending up the bomb

496. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

praying for forgiveness

497. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Clam Baking

498. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Taunting the Tiger

499. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Practicing for prison

500. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Warming up the Wonton

501. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Engaging in Behavior Peculiar to Canadians (what with beavers and meese and all)

502. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Frying the egg roll with yeast

503. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Filleting the Flounder

504. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Behaving like a Frenchman (bottoms only)

505. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Putting a banana in the tailpipe

506. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Doing the goose step, emphasis on goosing

507. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Engaging in fudgelust

508. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Stuffing the Oyster

509. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Sinking the submarine

510. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Slamming the Hood

511. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Playing dead

512. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Tunnel Busting

513. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Making someone religious…calling out for God

514. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Confusing anal sex for love.

515. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Over half-way there.

Making Fondue

516. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Bagging the Bagel

517. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Getting to know each other.

518. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Injecting the Eclaire

519. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Churning the Chunnel

520. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Rosetta keeps touching me and creeping me out

521. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Plugging the Port

522. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

An Italian, Frenchman, and Jew were bragging about their prowess in bed.

The Frenchman said, “I put cheese all over my woman and ate it off her. Then I gave it to her good, and she screamed for five whole minutes.”

The Italian said, “I poured olive oil all over my woman, ate bread off of her, and gave it to her good. She shouted in fulfillment for fifteen whole minutes.”

The Jew said, “I smeared schmaltz all over my woman, we both ate it, and I gave it to her good. She shouted for two whole hours.”

The Frenchman and Italian looked at him in wonder. “That’s impossible! How did you get a woman to shriek for two hours?”

The Jew replied, “I wiped my schmaltz-filled hands on the drapes.”

Which yields…wiping schmaltz on the drapes.

523. Rich J - June 9, 2008

I did this earlier, but it must have gotten stuck in the spam filer:

Eating Muslim Babies

524. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Contributing to global climate change

525. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Rosetta keeps touching me and creeping me out

Hahahahaha!

Jackass.

526. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Acting out the Legend of John Henry

527. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

On that note, making al-Gore very irate indeed.

528. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Wire-lining the Willie

(for you Rough Necks out there)

529. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Genocide

(Get it? Hundreds of potential humans killed? Errr, forget it.)

530. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Making the most of a bad situation.

531. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Climbing the Rig

532. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Going down on the Titanic

533. Tushar - June 9, 2008

diving into the abyss

534. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Pump, Grunt and Snore

535. Rich J - June 9, 2008

To expand:

Climbing the Rig without a Safety Harness

536. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

beating the dead horse yet again

537. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Obeying God (see: Genesis 1:28).

538. Tushar - June 9, 2008

driving wrong way up the one way street.

539. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Having pity/sympathy

540. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Getting Wrapped Around the Drill Stem

541. eddiebear - June 9, 2008

Hitting the rosin bag

542. eddiebear - June 9, 2008

Backdoor slider

543. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Making sweet, beautiful music (which makes no sense because music cannot be tasted or seen…which is just as good, as none of us get any anyway).

544. eddiebear - June 9, 2008

Goal line stand

545. Tushar - June 9, 2008

smoking the pot full of weed

546. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Putting a Bat in the Upper Deck

547. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Getting the Auger Stuck

548. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Driving the Drill Stem

549. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

The goal of being an activist

550. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Breakin’ the Auger Lose

551. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Using the Air Hammer

552. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Trying to get a promotion

553. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Developing the Well

554. Tushar - June 9, 2008

homesteading the tundra

555. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Getting Demoted

556. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Vigorously moving one’s goalpost

557. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Putting 15lbs of Kielbasa in the Meat Locker

558. Tushar - June 9, 2008

gobbling the gollum

559. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Flooding the cave

560. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Falling in the Shaker

561. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Meat Mining

562. Tushar - June 9, 2008

scoring an own goal

563. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

Unintended Consequences.

564. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Pile Driving the Bunker Buster

565. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Blowing an Air Line

566. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Testing the Tensional Strength of My Tool

567. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Touring the Bushland

568. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Trying to get one’s tribe slaughtered (see: Shechem the son of Hamor, the Hivite; Dinah; Simeon; Levi; in Genesis 34)

569. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Sipping from the Fountain of Youth

570. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Angering Pinchas (aka Phinehas) (see Numbers 25:7-11)

571. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Dropping the Tool Down the Hole

572. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Plowing the Pole into Polly’s Plush Peaches

573. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Doing everything sung about in Bloodhound Gang’s “Foxtrot Uniform [etc]“

574. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Filling one’s quiver

575. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Putting a Little English On It

576. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Hammering the Ham into Helen’s Hot Hole

577. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Getting Used to Failure

578. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Tooling Time in Tammy’s Tender Tunnel

579. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008
580. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Wiggling the Worm in Winona’s Wishing Well

581. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Sorry, that should be “Oh My”.

Feh.

Feh-ing away.

582. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Applying for a Conditional Use Permit

583. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Hammering the Ham into Helen’s Hot Hole

Puking.

584. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Seeing if he’s Jewish/Muslim/American Christian

585. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Puking.

I meant Helen Hunt, not Helen Thomas you pervert!

586. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Playing Frogger

587. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Making Satan happy

588. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Fisting Frank’s fanny

589. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Jumping to nauseating assumptions, heh

590. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Fisting Frank’s fanny

?!?!?!?!?

591. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Doing stand-up comedy (’cause they will laugh)

592. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Mr Minority – it’s called alliteration, and I suck at it

593. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Wet-spotting the bed

594. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Striving for Mediocrity

595. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Skipping Class

596. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Being a big beast in bed

597. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Laying Siege to Laura’s Lair

598. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Milking the Bull

599. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Wasting My Lunch Hour

600. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Sucking the head and eating the tail.

601. Rich J - June 9, 2008

horizontal boring

602. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Eating Lunch at Crawdad’s

Any Sacramento morons will know what I’m talkin bout.

603. Michael - June 9, 2008

Romancing the stone

604. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Smelling something fishy

605. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Plunging the cistern.

606. Michael - June 9, 2008

Flirting with squirting

607. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Working nightshift at the morgue.

608. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Sneaking in through the bedroom window while you sleep

609. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Riding the Handbasket to Hell

610. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Waiting for the Tooth Fairy

611. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Enabling My Delusions

612. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Taking Time to Titillate Tina’s Taco

613. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

Cocking the Kimber.

614. William Shatner - June 9, 2008

Do any of you…people….have jobs?

615. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Ramming the Rod in Rhonda’s Roadhouse

616. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Catfish noodling.

617. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Oops.

Catfish noodling.

618. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Peaking Her Interest

619. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Giving you your birthday present.

620. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Loosening a Load in Lola’s Love-canal

621. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Blogging Her Intertubes

622. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

waiting your turn

623. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Block Traffic with my Peterbuilt

624. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Loading Her Chamber, Cocking my Hammer and Blowing it out the Barrel

625. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Working Late at the Office

626. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Jumping into the hottub

627. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Skinny-dipping, emphasis on the dipping

628. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Attending a Conference in Dallas

629. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Freeing Up Some Bandwidth

630. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Going to DC

631. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Running for governor of New York

632. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Becoming IL’s Republican boy wonder

633. Rich J - June 9, 2008

going to a Neil Diamond concert…..no, I, uh, mean Metallica.

634. Rich J - June 9, 2008

making a contribution

635. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Freeing the Masses

636. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Getting what you paid for

637. Tushar - June 9, 2008

riding the express bus to poontown

638. Rich J - June 9, 2008

riding the short bus

639. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Plumping the Depth of Her Deliciousness

640. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Topping Off the Tank

641. kevlarchick - June 9, 2008

Pokin a pickle in a barrel.

That’s wiserbug’s.

642. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Sealing the Cracks

643. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Chucking Wood

644. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Dredging the Canal

645. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Tipping the babysitter.

646. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pumping off the sludge

647. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Wettin’ the Whistle

648. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Organizing The Tool Box

649. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Porting and Polishing the Intake

650. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Gumming Up the Works

651. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Putting Meat in the Meat Grinder

652. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Adjusting the fuel/air mixture

653. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Discharging the Capacitor

654. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Providing torque to the rear end

655. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Throwing a Rod

656. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Bleeding the Brakes

657. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Lubing the Main Bearing

658. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Making Everything Sound Dirty

659. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Adjusting the Rockers

660. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Greasing the thow-out bearing

661. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Slapping in a Racing Cam shaft

662. Rich J - June 9, 2008

that would be “throw-out bearing”. Dammit.

663. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Plumping the Depth of Her Deliciousness

Don’t you mean “Plumbing”?

You plump up to plumb.

664. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Make sexy time.

665. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Burning Rubber on the Drag Strip

666. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Burning a ring

667. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Installing Hooker Headers

668. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

“Afternoon Delight”

“Stairway to Heaven”

“Money!”

“Rocket Man”

669. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

“Highway to Hell”

670. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

“Back in Black”

671. Rich J - June 9, 2008

I’ll try this again:

Installing Hooker Headers

672. Rich J - June 9, 2008

This one’s for Rosetta:

Swapping out the Tranny

673. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

New Bushings on my Tie Rod

674. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Balancing the Drive Shaft

675. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Comment #666 above. How fitting.

676. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Lubing the Rear End

677. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Spending My Unemployment Check

678. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Another one for Rosetta:

Changing the Tranny Fluid

679. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Test-driving the intern

680. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Fencing with pork swords.

(Rich J and Mr. Minority only)

681. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Wiping the Dip Stick

682. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

“Under Pressure”

“Walking the Dog”

“Midnight Rider”

683. Sobek - June 9, 2008

Okay, this has gotten a little too silly, and I’m going to have to insist that you all stop at once.

684. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Making a Cream Pie

685. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Waiting for Godot.

686. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Rosetta:

Crimping the Butt Splice

687. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Locking Sobek in the Closet

688. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pulling the Butt Plug

689. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Taking Sobek to Task

690. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Rosetta:

Cleaning the Rims

691. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Mr Minority:

Misfiring his MiniGun.

692. wiserbugbud - June 9, 2008

That’s wiserbug’s.

She likes me! She really , really likes me!!

693. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pulling the Choke

694. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Packing the Bearings

695. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Squashing the wiserbug.

696. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

“Leave Wiserbug Alone!”

697. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Tossing the Ring into the Mountain of Doom

698. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Hahahahahahaha!!!

Watch it.

WATCH IT ALL!!!

699. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Playing loindarts.

700. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Respecting My Authority

701. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Winning the Pole Position

702. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Pulling the Bart plug

703. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Killing her softly with your love.

704. Rich J - June 9, 2008

going for the 3-10 split

705. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Killing her hurriedly and swiftly with your love

706. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Taking the inherstate

707. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Traveling the back roads

708. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Honing out the Bore

709. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Winning the croc’s approval and approbation

710. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Using Fix-a-Flat

711. Sobek - June 9, 2008

I mean it. We don’t tolerate this kind of nonsense around here. IB is a serious place for serious discussions.

712. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Stomping in the Mosh-pit

713. Pupster - June 9, 2008

Waking the gimp

714. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Exploring the many uses of duct tape

715. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

So, is it fort or for-tay?

Whichever it is, sex isn’t this group’s.

716. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Penetrating Fortress Eve

717. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

impregnating the impregnable

718. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Spearing the Tang Fish

719. Pupster - June 9, 2008

Rocking the Croc

720. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Stud Poker

721. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Playing Chutes & Ladders

722. Pupster - June 9, 2008

Freeing Willy

723. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Boosting the fat chick’s confidence

724. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Harpooning the Whale

725. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Fulfilling the Duties of Wingman

AKA
Wingmanning

726. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Facilitating a Merger

727. Rich J - June 9, 2008

This shit’s like breathing, it just comes naturally.

728. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Defending against a Hostile Takeover

729. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Getting in touch with my inner child

730. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Going for the Triple Crown

731. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Sweating the Pipe

732. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Threading the P Trap

733. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Getting a Nut Off

734. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Torquing Down the Head Bolt

735. eddiebear - June 9, 2008

spelunking

736. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Caging the Puppy

737. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Disciplining the Kitty

738. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Churning butter.

739. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Working on my slice

740. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Turning her gay.

(Mr Minority only)

741. Rich J - June 9, 2008

making blue cheese

742. Rich J - June 9, 2008

crashing my hard drive

743. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Rappelling Mt. Fatmore.

744. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pushing the retard off the subway platform.

745. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Thinking about baseball

746. Sobek - June 9, 2008

“Rappelling Mt. Fatmore.”

Ha!

747. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

I can’t believe nobody used this… OK, I didn’t actually check.

Working on the Night Moves.

748. Rich J - June 9, 2008

repeatedly thrusting my erect penis into her receptive vagina

I guess that’s not really a euphemism, is it?

749. mesablue - June 9, 2008

Blasting the Beef

750. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Doing it human style

751. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Doing it black widow or praying mantis style

752. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Praying mantis style – a whole new meaning to giving head

753. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Becoming a biological investor

754. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Making a deposit

755. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Pushing the retard off the subway platform.

Hahahahaha!

756. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Is anyone else sad that this thread would reach 1,000 faster than the cereal thread?

Eating cereal, if by “eating” you mean “banging” and if by “cereal” you mean “a hot person”.

757. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Steaming up the windows…by all the moisture exuded by begging for 2 minutes of fun

758. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Annoy the neighbors

759. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Use the playground (i.e., swinging)

760. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Touching the hiney.

761. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Find an excuse not to do homework

762. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Ruin the wedding day

763. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Empower and perpetuate the obgyn-medical complex

764. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Foreplay: blow up
Afterplay: deflate
Middle: squeak time!

765. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Find a reason to brandish the Extra Large box of prophylactics

766. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Alright, last one because I have to pack and fly out to Orange County tomorrow.

John Holmes Channels Shirley McClain

767. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Orange County? Auditioning for a yardboy to snag a desperate housewife? I hear that’s what goes on.

Undesperating a desperate housewife

768. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Rosetta Churns his Boyfriend’s Butt Butter with His Swizzle Stick

769. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Actually I am going to OC to fight the County.

770. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Channel Surfing

771. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Kinder und Küche, ja wohl!

As Rosetta knows, this is for men too now! How egalitarian fascists have become!

772. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

His Swizzle Stick

More like his coffee stirrer

Stirring the coffee

773. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

765: The words in italics because they’re in a foreign language, not because I’m quoting someone.

And I left out Kirche because no Church worth its salt would accept the travesty of an operation that the mother-to-be went through in the example, which Rosetta knows very well what I’m talking about.

Which yields: Postlude to walking down the aisle

774. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Stuffing it in the trunk

775. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Going out for one’s job

776. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Getting Lost

777. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

Moving to Idaho.

778. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Billing the Client

779. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Being a lawyer

780. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Expunging the Record

781. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Billing the Client

782. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Killing this thread.

(Muslihoon only)

783. Rich J - June 9, 2008

I thought Mr. Minority had to pack and fly to OC? Slacker.

784. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Taking up the slack

785. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

For Rich J:

Slapping the Slacker in Detention Hall

786. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Plumping the Ballpark frank.

787. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

^ I hope it’s Kosher.

Just sayin’

788. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Milking the Man Meat in Minni’s Mammoth Mound

789. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

Headin’ for Orange County.

Wait, has that been used already?

790. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

O brother, where art thou?

(Mr Minority only)

791. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Invoking the Spirit of Shatner

792. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Plowing the Potato in Patty’s Pleasure Pasture

793. Rich J - June 9, 2008

clubbing the fur seal

794. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Okay Helmet Heads, I am done packing for OC, now I am wasting time until dinner is ready.

I fly out tomorrow morning (First Class all the way! So Eat Shit Proles!!)

795. Rosetta - June 9, 2008

Those first class seats will be nice when you’re stuck on the tarmac for four hours.

Flying sucks donkey junk.

796. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Eatin’ a sammich

797. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

Shamefully Schlonging in Sheila’s Shrunken Shack

798. Retired Geezer - June 9, 2008

Playing with a bundle of joy in a tiny fur coat.

OK, I stole that from Mr. Lipstick.

799. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Seeking Internet Fame

800. Rich J - June 9, 2008

making an art film

801. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Pushing the envelop

802. rudytbone - June 9, 2008

wettin’ the willie

803. rudytbone - June 9, 2008

implementing the “Heat Seeking Moisture Missle”

804. rudytbone - June 9, 2008

Sittin’ in front of the ‘puter, eating cheese puffs, orange stuff on my “stuff” watching pron…..

Oh, wait. Phrases for people having sex…not watching others have sex.

Well, I’m stumped.

805. lauraw - June 9, 2008

It’s not merely ‘phrases for having sex,’ it’s Least Appealingeuphemisms for sex.

Read the title and the first bunch of comments.

As in, you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.

/thread-killing pedant with nothing better to do tonight

806. Mr Minority - June 9, 2008

…you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.

Making Whoopie With Laura

807. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Sowwy, lauraw.

808. daveintexas - June 9, 2008

Unclear on the concept.

(heh, see what I did there?)

809. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Wham, bam, thank you ma’am…SIR?!?!

810. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Ah hah! So, I am the Threadkiller, Postslayer, Last of the lastest, Black hole of comments’ hope!

811. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Riding the Sandworm

812. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Letting the Spice Flow

813. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Giving Water for the Dead

814. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Yay! Enas! I’m so glad to see you!

That would be painful indeed.

815. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

But the spice must flow!

816. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Howdy Muslihoon! I can’t comment from work anymore so I’m late to the party.

Firing the Death Star.

817. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Sorry to hear about the work thing, Enas.

Expending the Force

818. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Receiving Obama’s special initiation oil upon one’s head

819. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Becoming a popular on-screen star with Paris Hilton on a night-vision video

820. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Shooting Womp-rats in Beggar’s Canyon

821. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Taking a shower

822. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Failing Lord Vader for the Last Time.

823. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

“I find your lack of faith in my prowess to be disturbing”

Behold his lightsaber!

824. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Engaging the Warp Drive

825. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Violating the Prime Directive.

826. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

Loading Photon Torpedos

827. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Enas is so classy.

828. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

What I get to see my Internets friends, it’s always a good day.

829. Enas Yorl - June 9, 2008

lol! Thanx Muslihoon!

Reversing the Polarity on the Emitter Array.

830. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

The Emplacement of the Male Reproductive Organ into the Corresponding Female Reproductive Orifice (Which May or May Not Include the Cloaca) and Inserting Thereinto the Male-Originating Genetic Material for the Joining of It with the Female-Originating Genetic Materia, for the Development of Offspring, Creating Thereby, in the Human Reproductive System, a Zygote, Blastocele, Blastocyst, and So On.

Well, it’s not appealing, is it?

831. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.

So let me get this straight…. You’re okay with most of these then? Like, if your husband suggested.ooooo, I dunno…..flirting with squirting?

Oooookaaaaayyyy…. someday, I really gotta meet you.

832. lauraw - June 9, 2008

Mr. Minority was the worst offender. He obviously did not read the post and started coming up with all these alliterative euphemisms.

I want to slap him, but he’s heavily armed and I am a known coward.

someday, I really gotta meet you.

Just walk in! A visit from a friend practically guarantees a huge rush of customers when I am unable to do anything but glance at you apologetically until you finally saunter out the door, foiled due to time constraints.

Sucks for you but I could always use the money dude.

833. Rich J - June 9, 2008

This one’s for wiserbud and all the folks in the San Francisco Bay Area:

Riding Bart.

Very unpleasant indeed.

834. Tushar - June 9, 2008

wiggling the worm

835. Tushar - June 9, 2008

sharing the germ

836. Tushar - June 9, 2008

slathering the sperm

837. Rich J - June 9, 2008

I’ve been giggling about that since I thought of it almost three hours ago on the way home from work. I’m easily amused.

838. Tushar - June 9, 2008

crashing into the berm

839. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Eating Clam Chowder

840. Tushar - June 9, 2008

smoking out the Viet Cong

841. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Poking a dead bloated cow with a sharp stick until it pops

842. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Wide mouth bass swallowing the guppy

843. Tushar - June 9, 2008

pledging the superdelegate

844. Michael - June 9, 2008

…you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.

Man, that is soooooooo like Laura, trying to kill a thread and pussy-whip everyone in the process.

How does a malformed Portuguese pack-and-shipper get the chutzpah to do that?

It’s a mystery to me. But, I think many of the remaining comments on this thread should be designed to offend Laura.

1. Pounding the package.
2. Busting the tape.
3. Tipping the UPS guy.

845. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Humping the …ummmm….hump.

846. Michael - June 9, 2008

4. Overnight delivery.

847. Michael - June 9, 2008

5. There is an extra charge for hair male.

848. Michael - June 9, 2008

6. Tightly packed breakables should be insured.

849. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

why can’t you get this to California by tonight if I pay extra?

850. daveintexas - June 9, 2008

What can Brown do for you?

851. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

incorrectly wrapping your package

852. Tushar - June 9, 2008

Packing the fudge

853. Michael - June 9, 2008

7. Don’t pop the bubblewrap!!

854. lauraw - June 9, 2008

FUCK.

855. Michael - June 9, 2008

8. It’s all about getting the right box to fit the package.

856. Michael - June 9, 2008

9. If the package doesn’t fit, you just stuff in some more (styrofoam pea-) Nuts!

857. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Charging extra for the overweight package

858. Michael - June 9, 2008

10. The secret of packing is to cushion the shock, especially when you are dealing with a big package.

859. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Shipping Biological Samples

860. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Stuffing it in the shipping tube

861. Rich J - June 9, 2008

mishandling a package

862. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Delivering to the wrong address

863. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Damaging the merchandise

864. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Putting on the “this end up” sticker

865. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

declaring the contents for international delivery

866. Rich J - June 9, 2008

putting it in the pouch

867. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Overnight delivery

868. Rich J - June 9, 2008

#859 repeater. Fail.

869. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Shipping Live Animals

870. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Filling out the label

871. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Using FedEx

872. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Stating: But Canada isn’t a foreign country!

873. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Driving the Dirty Route

874. Michael - June 9, 2008

For international deliveries, don’t forget that “customs” tax — on your knees!!!

875. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

For other international customs taxes…don’t forget to bend over.

876. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Calling in a Pick Up

877. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Stacking them 12 deep

878. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Sending a shipment of pharmaceuticals…that’ll take three months to clear customs.

879. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

Chancing a Spring Awakening

880. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

augering out the sump pit

881. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Cash on Delivery

882. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Chancing a Spring Awakening

LOL! The best!

883. Michael - June 9, 2008

#871

Russ, that was just cruel to mention that here.

Thank you.

884. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Russ just screwed up the theme of the moment. Oh well, I was running out of UPS riffs.

Burning of the Slag

885. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

scheduling a meeting with Cheney

886. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Russ just screwed up the theme of the moment. Oh well, I was running out of UPS riffs.

Burning off the Slag

887. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Drilling in ANWR

888. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

tipping the delivery boy

889. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

going into voicemail

890. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

judging the “Cool Facts about John Bolton’s Moustache” thread

891. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Crap!

Ringing the doorbell and dropping it on the porch

892. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

brandishing the pooper scooper………..and you don’t even have a pet!

893. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

taking off and nuking the whole site from orbit, because it’s only way to be sure.

894. Zombie Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

munchin’ on the BRAAAAAAAAINS!

895. Rich J - June 9, 2008

ensuring the survival of the species

896. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

offending Amish

897. Rich J - June 9, 2008

tickling the ovaries

898. Michael - June 9, 2008

judging the “Cool Facts about John Bolton’s Moustache” thread

Fuck you. I judged the *Cool Facts about Dick Cheney* thread, and it is an intertubes classic to this day.

899. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

interviewing Obama

900. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

churning the babybatterbutter

901. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Being at your cervix

902. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

milking the badger

903. Rich J - June 9, 2008

prepping the battle space

904. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

eating the “Old 96er”

905. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

beginning to weep

906. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

calling in an airstrike on your own position

907. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Summoning She Who Should Not Be Named

908. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

posting a diary at Daily Kos

909. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

going 20 for 34 with 2 TD’s and an INT in the wildcard game

910. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

paying for your mistakes

911. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

winning the Super Bowl

912. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

becoming visibly tuminescent while watching “I Spit on Your Grave”

913. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Beating the Patriots

914. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

spackling the drywall

915. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

freezing the warts

916. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

eating 15 ounces of bacon (cooked weight) in 15 minutes

917. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

doing community service

918. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

knocking wiserbud off the sidebar so that you’ll have it all to yourself……VICTORY!!!!

919. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Analyzing the body language

920. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

eliminating kevlarchick as a suspect

921. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

enjoying a fleeting victory

922. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

using your phone as an alarm clock

923. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

hunting down replicants

924. pajama momma - June 9, 2008

winning the Super Bowl

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

925. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

puttin’ on the foil

926. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

dropping a quad

927. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

taking the little woman for a roll in the thistles

928. Michael - June 9, 2008

using your phone as an alarm clock

Dude, you are getting vicious.

929. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

gettin’ intestinal parasites

930. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

retiring to the batcave for a smoke

931. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

settin’ up the jenkem lab

932. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

aggravating your carpal tunnel inflammation

933. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

earning a MS in 14th Century Italian Poetry

934. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

checking your footnotes

935. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

getting even with the Germans for bombing Pearl Harbor

936. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

drunk-blogging

937. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

realizing that it was actually the Japanese who bombed Pearl Harbor, but letting it slide because he’s on a roll

938. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

whipping the crack

939. Michael - June 9, 2008

retiring to the batcave for a smoke

That hurt. That hurt real bad.

940. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

scheduling a Prison Colonoscopy

941. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

polishing her teeth

942. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

realizing that the Kink’s “Lola” isn’t about a smoking hot chick

943. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

demanding a refund

944. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

kneeling before Zod

945. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

realizing TOO LATE that the Kink’s “Lola” isn’t about a smoking hot chick

fixed that for ya

946. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

rocking out to “Muskrat Love”

947. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

cheering for the Giants

948. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

realizing that there are 15 people reading these comments waiting to jump in and try to get #1000 with their name on it

949. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

channeling The Pinto

950. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

grouting the tile

951. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

pounding down the pork

952. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

spending hours coming up with lolcat euphemisms for having sex

953. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

quietly quenching the queef

954. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

closing your eyes and thinking of England

955. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

changing the oil in the mower

956. Michael - June 9, 2008

BTW, Russ, that meat you brought to the IBSBP was awesome. The sausage was really good.

That is why you have not been banned,

957. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

Sucking up to Batman

958. eddiebear - June 9, 2008

winning the World Series

959. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

assuming the worst

960. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

passing off roadkill possum as sirloin steak

961. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

synchronizing the carbs

962. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

playing soccer

963. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

being Keanu Reeves

964. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

renting the winnebago

965. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

letting one slip out on a long elevator ride

966. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

testing the blood sugar

967. lolRuss from Winterset - June 9, 2008

I kan haz whoopy? Kthanxby

968. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

bringing the dingos into the nursery

969. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

dealing with hypoglycemia

970. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

vibrating the concrete

971. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

talking to the hand

972. wiserbud - June 9, 2008

anticipating failure

973. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

diggin’ in the crawlspace

974. wiserbud - June 9, 2008
975. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

unconvincingly proclaiming your heterosexuality

976. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

lazing a stick of dynamite (blatantly stolen from “Real Genius” and Ace’s blog tonight)

977. Michael - June 9, 2008

For the record:

I hate Wiserbud.

I hate him a lot.

978. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

waterboarding a mime

979. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

supersizing the meal

980. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

lancing the boil

981. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

sweeping the leg

982. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

wax on, wax off

983. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

confronting Martin Kove

984. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

catching a fly with chopsticks

985. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

listening to Bananarama

986. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

working it crane-style

987. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Serving on silky pony’s staff

988. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Crushing of Dissent

989. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Journalist writing about Obama

990. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Blowing through the red light

991. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

Realizing that if you absolutely, positively HAVE to go to prison, you want your cellmate to look like Ralph Macchio (because if you drink 8 glasses of toilet wine and squint really hard, he sort of kind of looks like Lori Petty) instead of looking like Bolo Yeung.

992. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Failing biology

993. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

casting a vote for CHANGE!

994. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Being a teenaged male intern with a cell phone

995. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Working as an Israeli national security consultant to the Governor of New Jersey

996. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

stretching a mildly amusing 2 minute SNL skit out into 105 minutes of alleged comedy

997. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

What Obama does to you when a bus is coming your way

998. Rich J - June 9, 2008

lancing the volcano

999. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

admiring the jheri curls

1000. Rich J - June 9, 2008

doing it for the children

1001. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

runnin’ whores in Hondo

1002. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Distracting Imadinnerjacket

1003. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Being a Russian spy

1004. Rich J - June 9, 2008

rushing the passer

1005. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

honoring the hiker, bear-style

1006. Rich J - June 9, 2008

jumping on the bandwagon

1007. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

mixing mohitos

1008. Rich J - June 9, 2008

fucking the bitch

1009. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

OY GEVALT! I suck!

1010. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

remembering what I said in #940

1011. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Breaking…you know.

1012. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

You guys take it all the way, I’m out of ideas.

[At Muslihoon's request, this comment was moved out of the 1,000 position.]

1013. Rich J - June 9, 2008

That’s it. I’m outta here. Talking poo is where I draw the line.

1014. Muslihoon - June 9, 2008

Sorry, Russ. You or Rich should have got it. I was hoping to be 996 or something.

But I will remember this thread for the rest of my life. *beams*

1015. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Foiling my plans for world domination

1016. Rich J - June 9, 2008

Muslihoon sucks schwetty balls

1017. Russ from Winterset - June 9, 2008

Climbing a water tower with a .357…..or a .358. Whatever it takes.

1018. Rich J - June 9, 2008

smoking crack

1019. Rich J - June 10, 2008

Eagerly awaiting the next thread

1020. Russ from Winterset - June 10, 2008

Having your moment of ecstacy turn into blinding shame and feelings of inconsequentiality, while you gather up your soiled clothing and head back to the more respectable comment threads.

1021. Sobek - June 10, 2008

Wow guys, I have to say I wasn’t expecting that.

1022. Retired Geezer - June 10, 2008

*Geezer lights a cigarette*

Hey, wait, I don’t even smoke.

1023. wiserbud - June 10, 2008

I hate Wiserbud. – Michael

HAH! In your FACE, Muslihoon!!

1024. Rich J - June 10, 2008

“Wow guys, I have to say I wasn’t expecting that.”

Your welcome.

1025. Rosetta - June 10, 2008

Riding the storm out.

1026. Pupster - June 10, 2008

Booting-up the spread-sheet program

1027. pajama momma - June 10, 2008

counting to 3

1028. pajama momma - June 10, 2008

getting put in time out

1029. Rich J - June 10, 2008

I will never forgive Muslihoon for stealing my moment of glory, nor Russ for hornin in on my action at the very end of the thread. Bastages both.

1030. Rich J - June 10, 2008

Puttin your foot in it.

Make it stop.

1031. pajama momma - June 10, 2008

after school detention

1032. pajama momma - June 10, 2008

saturday school

1033. Rich J - June 10, 2008

analytical geometry- it’s all about the angle

1034. Will - June 10, 2008

Firing for Effect

1035. pajama momma - June 10, 2008

stepping in dog crap

1036. pajama momma - June 10, 2008

talking to wickedpinto on the phone

1037. Rich J - June 10, 2008

playing cornhole, badly

1038. Muslihoon - June 10, 2008

Seeing as this is Sobek’s thread, in which it is meet to hijack, if anyone wants an mp3 of “El Yivneh Hagalil” (an awesome Hebrew a capella song) by the BYU Men’s Chorus, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll e-mail it to you.

1039. Pupster - June 10, 2008

Singing hebrew acapella

1040. Rich J - June 11, 2008

Victory is mine!

1041. Rich J - June 11, 2008

ps-thx Muslihoon.

your pity is appreciated.

1042. reason - August 17, 2009

“Bringing back an old thread.”

1043. Sobek - August 17, 2009

Thrashing around with a crocodile

1044. reason - August 18, 2009

Weaning the ol’ “replacement heifer”

1045. lauraw - August 18, 2009

Earning the falafel

1046. reason - August 18, 2009

Bringing teh funnay.

1047. Mrs. Peel - August 27, 2009

Swattin’ her wasps

1048. Cathy - August 27, 2009

Ex-caping Batman.

1049. skinbad - August 27, 2009

Fixing her plumbing.

1050. Michael - August 27, 2009

Yielding to her inaccurate comment about how long we have been married.

1051. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

Cashing the check

1052. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

slipping it into neutral

1053. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

barrel racing

1054. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

flying into Hartford

1055. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

trench warfare

1056. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

burying Ted Kennedy

1057. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

voting “present”

1058. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

minesweeping

1059. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

doctor’s orders

1060. Dave in Texas - August 28, 2009

breaking a twenty

1061. composmentis - August 28, 2009

Dave’s having fun

1062. Mrs. Peel - August 28, 2009

Curin’ her cramps

1063. Will - August 28, 2009

Eatin’ her nanner-bread

1064. composmentis - August 28, 2009

Fisting for dollars

1065. lauraw - August 28, 2009

zip lining the valley

1066. lauraw - August 28, 2009

reviving the dead thread

1067. Mrs. Peel - August 28, 2009

Dominatin’ the right sidebar

1068. lauraw - August 28, 2009
1069. Cathy - August 28, 2009

Yielding to her inaccurate comment about how long we have been married.

Puttin’ up with sumbunny’s rounding errors.

1070. Lipstick - August 28, 2009

Kicking the neighbors out of the pool.

1071. lauraw - August 28, 2009

Driving to Madison

1072. Pupster - August 28, 2009

Five

Five minutes

Five minutes too long

1073. Dave in Texas - August 29, 2009

Driving Miss Daisy

1074. Sobek - August 29, 2009

Committing a RICO violation.

1075. Sobek - August 29, 2009

Discussing Thomas Friedman’s oevre.

1076. Sobek - August 29, 2009

Debating theology on-line.

1077. Mrs. Peel - August 29, 2009

Correcting Sobek’s spelling.

(oeuvre)

1078. lauraw - November 28, 2009

Hidin’ the decline

1079. Tushar - January 5, 2010

Dede Scozzafava

1080. skinbad - January 5, 2010

Taking down the Christmas lights/Putting away the tree

1081. lauraw - January 7, 2010

Detonating some underwear

1082. Tushar - January 7, 2010

Melting the Permafrost

1083. Retired Geezer - January 7, 2010

Grooming the Horses.

Wait, what?

1084. Lipstick - January 7, 2010

Packing my duffel bag.

1085. daveintexas - January 7, 2010

Hard freeze warning

1086. Michael - January 7, 2010

Hey Dave, guess which website shows up as the #1 result if you do a Google Images search for “Hugh Jackman”?

1087. wiserbud - January 7, 2010

checking the stats

1088. Lipstick - January 7, 2010

Heading toward Punta Cana.

1089. lauraw - January 7, 2010

Countin’ flags

1090. lauraw - January 7, 2010

Playing ‘ferret vs. big red octopus’

1091. wiserbud - January 7, 2010

marinating the marimbas

1092. Lipstick - January 7, 2010

Switching out the first letters of Punta Cana.

1093. wiserbud - January 7, 2010

tuggin’ on the feeding tube…

1094. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

violating the restraining order

1095. wiserbud - January 7, 2010

calling the bunt

1096. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

calling the bunt

Heh!

Squeeze play?

1097. Pupster - January 7, 2010

Sled dogging.

1098. BrewFan - January 7, 2010

Shovelin’ the driveway

1099. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

Shovelin’ the driveway

aha. ahahaha. ahahahaha!

How about Begging dad for the car keys.

1100. Tushar - January 7, 2010

Counting to 1100

1101. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

Chewing your way out of a dead, bloated killer whale.

1102. Pupster - January 7, 2010

Salting the sidewalk

1103. skinbad - January 7, 2010

Melting the icicle

1104. skinbad - January 7, 2010

Heating up the wassail

1105. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

Putting the carrot in the snowman

1106. BrewFan - January 7, 2010

waxing the ski

1107. skinbad - January 7, 2010

Gassing up the blower

1108. skinbad - January 7, 2010

Trudging through the slush

1109. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

Hahahaha! Gassing up the blower

1110. wiserbud - January 7, 2010

building the one-eyed snowman

1111. d3ft punk - January 7, 2010

Being Mr. Pelosi

1112. Retired Geezer - January 7, 2010

^
LOL at Lauraw 1089 and 1090

Countin’ flags…… snort!

1113. lauraw - January 7, 2010

Amusing the Geezer

1114. skinbad - January 7, 2010

Finishing faster than the Jamaican bobsled team

Riding the Arctic Cat

1115. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

Expecting 7. Getting 3.

1116. Pupster - January 7, 2010

Bringing a figgy pudding

1117. compos mentis - January 7, 2010

hahahaha!

1118. mesa in Texas - January 7, 2010

Driving in the slow lane

1119. Pupster - January 7, 2010

Missing the playoffs

1120. skinbad - January 7, 2010

1115–Wondering why compos is disappointed

1121. Tushar - January 7, 2010

Eating an over-ripened banana.

1122. Retired Geezer - January 7, 2010

Pure Lutheran Doctrine

1123. Michael - January 7, 2010

That was mean, Geezer. Just plain mean.

You are not as nice as you pretend to be.

1124. wiserbud - January 7, 2010

wrapping the kittycat.

1125. Lipstick - January 7, 2010

Going to the airport.

1126. Michael - January 7, 2010

Sharing the pool with the neighbor’s kids.

1127. Lipstick - January 7, 2010

Don’t start that, Michael, they’ll soon think they own it!

See you all in a week.

1128. Pupster - January 8, 2010

playing Wii Fit

1129. American Idols Live Tickets Copps Coliseum - May 14, 2010

American Idols Live Tickets Copps Coliseum…

I agree with Karnack58 the show took a hit when Siobhan went home at least two weeks early. I had her in the top 4 ahead of Aaron and Michael ( he was voted off too) she was never in the bottom three all season till that week… so SammDawg maybe you a…

1130. Mrs. Peel - May 14, 2010

attending American Idol Live

1131. Tushar - May 14, 2010

Discussing various legal positions with Elena Kagan.

1132. reason - May 14, 2010

“Passing Cap & Trade.”

1133. reason - May 14, 2010

LARPing Internet Porn

1134. reason - May 14, 2010

Confirming a Facebook Friend

1135. reason - May 14, 2010

Sockpuppeting a Moronette

1136. Elliot Spitzer - May 14, 2010

Liquidating some assets

1137. Tiger Woods - May 14, 2010

Tuesday.

1138. reason - May 14, 2010

Breachin’ the outer hull

1139. reason - May 14, 2010

Trawling for crabs.

1140. reason - May 14, 2010

Greenhornin’ on the Northwestern

1141. wiserbud - May 14, 2010

Revisiting a dead thread.

1142. Michael - May 14, 2010

Hooking up with Wiserbud

1143. Cathy - May 14, 2010

Budding with Wiser.

1144. Cathy - May 14, 2010

Hamming it Up.

1145. Cathy - May 14, 2010

Launching a sortie of Fatboys.

1146. Cathy - May 14, 2010

Making a meetup.

1147. Cathy - May 14, 2010

Deciphering Rosetta’s Stones.

1148. Cathy - May 14, 2010

Letting Van Go.

1149. reason - May 15, 2010

Watching Cathy Knit.

1150. reason - May 15, 2010

Talkin’ to Lipstick

1151. reason - May 15, 2010

Making Puttanesca.

1152. reason - May 15, 2010

Hiding the Decline

1153. reason - May 15, 2010

Singing Along to Buble

1154. Michael - May 15, 2010

About half an hour ago, I started rereading Laura’s rant that got this thread started, and I was laughing so hard that I was actually crying.

unclogging the gutters

God I love that woman.

1155. reason - May 15, 2010

Making Sense of Anthony Watts

1156. reason - May 15, 2010

…this has a backstory?

1157. Michael - May 15, 2010

I don’t get that. Anthony Watts makes perfect sense.

How about:

AGW in the Love-Tunnel

1158. reason - May 15, 2010

Yes, WUWT is a beacon of logic and clarity in a tempest of misinformation. But, by reading and understanding him, you are dorking Gore in the squeakhole.

1159. Michael - May 15, 2010

…this has a backstory?

Yes, Reason. This thread actually started 1,159 comments ago.

1160. reason - May 15, 2010

Temporarily Allowing a Pop-Up

1161. Lipstick - May 15, 2010

Reasonin’ with reason.

1162. reason - May 15, 2010

Missing the rant.

1163. Lipstick - May 15, 2010

Rantin’ the Miss.

1164. Michael - May 15, 2010

Also, Reason, a number of us, like Dave, Wiserbud, Cathy, and me, have actually made a pilgrimage to Connecticut, where we personally gazed with awe at her malformed, grotesque, humpbacked physique.

But, she turned out to be a really nice and funny person anyway. She is careful not to be all in-your-face defensive about her hideous appearance. She will give you time to stare in horror, and control your gag reflex. You get used to the hump pretty quick, and then hardly notice it. She’s just a sweetie.

That experience makes her comments even funnier.

1165. Lipstick - May 15, 2010

Kaganing.

1166. Retired Geezer - May 15, 2010

Releasing the Kraken.

1167. reason - May 15, 2010

I know, Mike.
I saw the pics.
I seethed with jealousy.

You all are teh coolest people I wish I knew.

1168. Michael - May 15, 2010

Dessert after a bean burrito dinner.

1169. Michael - May 15, 2010

You all are teh coolest people I wish I knew.

If you really want to meet us, and can get a Friday off in July so you can fly in for a Saturday event, send an email to laurawtipsATgmailDOTcom and grovel for an invitation and meeting details available online, including how many of us will be there.

1170. lauraw - May 15, 2010

Reason, I’d be delighted if you would come on over and meet our motley band of Morons.

Michael, will you alter that email addy just a little so spambots can’t find it? Thank you kindly.

1171. reason - May 15, 2010

:)

1172. reason - May 15, 2010

Shaking Hands with the Moron

1173. reason - May 15, 2010

MAEKIN’ POAT.

1174. reason - May 15, 2010

Getting awkwardly fondled.

This actually came from a female friend of mine. She really liked a guy, and finally coaxed him onto a date. She was basically his for the taking, and he had no clue what to do with the situation.

I felt bad for her.
I felt a depth of pity never known before for him.

1175. daveintexas - May 15, 2010

Deep Fried Bacon on a Stick

1176. Retired Geezer - May 15, 2010

Playing the Clarinet.

(it’s probably been used but I ain’t lookin’)

1177. flashbazzbo,s.e. - May 15, 2010

Frammin’ on the jim-jam, frippin at the krotz

1178. flashbazzbo,s.e. - May 15, 2010

I know. that’s actually two, but I was thinking of my younger days when that was possible.

Now it’s pretty much frammin or frippin, and then to bed.

1179. Cathy - May 15, 2010

Reading the Bill.

1180. Cathy - May 15, 2010

Threading a Needle.

1181. Cathy - May 15, 2010

Cleaning up in Aisle 9.

1182. Cathy - May 15, 2010

Making Sausage Pizza.

1183. Cathy - May 15, 2010

Changing Avatars.

1184. Cathy - May 15, 2010

Joining the Tea-Baggers.

1185. reason - May 15, 2010

In regards to someone who gets da ladies, I’ve always been a fan of the phrase, “Gets more ‘tang than an astronaut.”

1186. reason - May 15, 2010

An Evening with The Bidens.

1187. reason - May 15, 2010

Giving the Wife a Reason to Change the Sheets

1188. reason - May 15, 2010

Free Rangin’ the Chicken

1189. reason - May 15, 2010

Vigorously Encouraging the Release of Semen into the Partner’s Uterus for the Purpose of Fertilizing an Egg Residing in Her Fallopian Tube

You’ve gotta admit, it sets a pretty unappealing scene.

1190. reason - May 15, 2010

Crashing an Oceanic Flight to LAX.

1191. reason - May 15, 2010

Batterin’ Some Bacon

1192. skinbad - September 14, 2011

Submitting your jobs bill

Losing the Weiner seat

1193. Retired Geezer - September 14, 2011

Losing the Weiner seat

*nods head*

1194. lauraw - September 14, 2011

Creating a site called AttackWatch and then getting swarmed and held down while the entire goddamn Twitterverse of chortling righties rapes your mouth.

1195. lauraw - September 14, 2011

Seriously, I was on Twitter all day today. Funnest slow day at the store EVER. OMG I was ROTFLMAO.

President Obama is a stutterin’ clusterfuck of a miserable failure.

1196. daveintexas - September 14, 2011

stuttering clusterfucking

1197. Anonymous - September 30, 2011

Going spelunking with professor groin wood in happy time cave


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