House Hunting July 13, 2008
Posted by Michael in Personal Experiences.trackback
Yeeeehaw!
We have a house under contract in Dallas. I think this deal is going to go through.
Of course, the single most important criteria in our home search in Dallas was: Would this house be an appropriate place for an Innocent Bystanders Super Bowl Party?
When Mrs. Michael and I are house hunting, she does the initial screen (she looked at over 30 homes this week). Then she shows me the finalists. We give names to the finalists so we can keep them straight and talk about them. At first, we were going to bid on the “Turret House” because it was a very nice new home with little market risk. The “Crepe Myrtle” house was a close second. They were both safe choice; normal houses that would hold their value.
Then, we changed our minds overnight. We have always bought somewhat unusual houses.
So, we bid on the “Barcelona Whorehouse and Gay Dungeon” in Irving (Las Colinas area), which is a much more suitable venue for an IBSBP, and we settled on price with the owners today. It’s a financial stretch for us, but I think it’s a great house.
I empathize with the current owners. They recently spent a ton of money on refurbishing this place to make it their dream retirement home (way more than we spent in Ohio) and then they got relocated to New York. Everything from the floors to the kitchen to the pool finish to the covered patio to every bathroom has been redone. It has been on the market for a long time and is vacant, so it does not show well. With nobody there, they had some sprinkler system problems which browned off some landscaping. A trivial issue, but the home did not show well.
I love finding a house like that. It has a pier-and-beam foundation (a major plus with Texas soils) and a lifetime concrete tile roof (which means the entire structure is more sturdy to bear the weight — good news in tornado season).
The funny thing about this house is the extravagent draperies and lighting fixtures, and really unique wall finishes. The prior owners had a gay decorator who was really making a statement. It’s a hoot.
Congrats!
I’ve always wanted to go to Texas.
You are welcome any time, Musli. You can have your choice between the “Persimmon Bedroom” or the “Golden Bedroom.” It doesn’t matter which one you pick — they are both totally gay and you will have your own bathroom.
Hope you close soon, Michael!
Remember that on the first night after one gets possession of the house, the lord of the house is expected to personally make passionate love to the lady of the house, and the poolboy is to be given a day off.
It is a prudent custom to follow.
It is a prudent custom to follow.
Such wisdom from the ancient culture of India is not to be ignored. I will do as you say.
Am I invited?
Congrats.
But I thought your job was in San Antonio.
But I thought your job was in San Antonio.
It was, but that changed.
Am I invited?
Erm, well, actually, you were not. But now that you’ve made it a public issue, I guess I have to invite you. So, you’re invited. You are definitely going to get the ultra-gay Persimmon Bedroom. But, as an antidote, I’ll take you to a gun range and you can throw some .45 rounds downrange with my Kimber.
Oh. I see.
Sheesh.
OK, Eddie, you’re invited too. You can have the ultra-gay Golden Bedroom. But if Wickedpinto and Mesablue show up, you’re sharing that room with them. Fair warning.
^no problemo.
Actually, my “Oh. I See” was aimed at the job movement thing.
But I’m cool with the gay room thing as well. I have shared a room before.
*oops*. Should I have said that out loud?
And all kidding aside, I am a bit dismayed tonight to hear that InBev’s pursuit of A-B has been successful. I have not purchased an A-B product for a while, owing to the fact the beer was bad, but I know a lot of people who are IT and logistics folks who may get hurt by this.
I know a lot of people who are IT and logistics folks who may get hurt by this.
You are correct to worry about that. InBev got caught up by deal heat, and they over-paid. They are paying a ridiculous premium for A-B. Now they have to justify the deal to the market by proving the “synergies” the deal will produce. Synergies = layoffs. A lot of people in St. Louis are redundant right now.
I’ve been there, done that, in the M&A game. Philosophically, I’m a big fan of international capital mobility. It works long term.
Short term, people get hurt.
Oh, by the way, at the moment, America is desperately dependent on foreign capital investments to keep the dollar viable. China is helping us, because they have a huge risk in dollar-denominated investments. At the same time, China is screwing us with their FX controls that boost exports.
Where is Cedarford? He could explain this to you. Dang, I miss Cedarford. He was funny. Too bad that he was a racist asshole and got banned at AOSHQ.
Glad to hear things are going so well.
I can drive to your new house in 45 minutes (at 3:00AM when there is no traffic or construction work).
I hope Cathy doesn’t miss shoveling snow too much.
Sounds . . . fabulous.
I’d like to stay in the “Whorehouse” wing, if DinTX hasn’t sewn that up already.
There is no way InBev will be able to maintain that $70/share without taking a chainsaw to the North America (read: AB) operations.
I’m just wondering what your frame of reference is for coming up with a name like Barcelona Whorehouse? And Gay Dungeon? That you concatenate the two is even more worrisome.
Nevertheless, congratulations on your newest acquisition, and, as Tushar advises, future merger.
Gay decorator?
*rolls eyes*
Chah. Like anyone would believe that.
I will sleep in the Persimmon Bedroom!!!
Thank you, Michael!
*snap snap*
Mmhmm
Here is the only beer I will drink now.
http://www.schlafly.com/
I will sleep in the Persimmon Bedroom!!!
Excellent! We can be roomies! We can do each othes nails and talk about boys and all kinds of cool junk!
ummm…or not.
That’s cool too.
gotta go.
Hmmm. The Dallas Morning News has an article about somebody making an offer on the Southfork Ranch.
It says “the buyer preferred to remain anonymous, and work a mask and cape during the negotiations”.
Do it have a cave? With quick, hidden access to the main road?
No wiser. I won’t be talking about boys with you. You are WAY outta my league in that area. I will share my new nail polish, however.
If M/M Michael bought Southfork, what would they rename it?
Hmmm…
If M/M Michael bought Southfork, what would they rename it?
Knowing Michael, he would change the name.
Welcome to the <b.Spork!
^ Damn this cheating keyboard, look at what it did!!!
That should be Spork!
I will share my new nail polish, however.
SQUEEEEEEAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!! *clapclapclapclapclapclapclap
True story…my daughter painted my toenails last night. I let her because it made her laugh and I love to see her laugh.
Of course, off it came, as soon as she went to bed. I mean, I’m no fruit or nuthin’.
I was thinking he’d go for something like “Neverland”, but I guess that one’s taken.
^my daughter loves to put lipstick on me. She thinks it’s hilarious.
I then went out and mowed the lawn and went for a run just to reassert my man card
Disgraceland?
Where is Cedarford? He could explain this to you. Dang, I miss Cedarford.
If you want to engage him he hangs out at the Belmont Club. Fair warning; if he shows up here I will delete every attempt to comment he makes.
“Burst Castle”?
“The Fonderosa?”
“The Lossienda”?
Yours is perfect, wiser.
“Whine Manor”?
Yours is perfect, wiser.
Why, thank you, PB. *blush.
I like yours too.
I then went out and mowed the lawn and went for a run just to reassert my man card
Still wearing the lipstick?
Cause that would be awesome.
“I like yours too.”
But you’ve never seen mine.
But you’ve never seen mine.
in my dreams, I have.
Have you ever seen “The Graduate”?
Mrs. Patty Ann, you’re trying to seduce me.
Aren’t you?
Well, duh!
36: yes, I did.
Here’s to you, Mrs. Patty Ann, Jesus loves you more than you will know…
hey! hey! hey! ha! ha! ha!
Where have you gone, Mr. Favre?
Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
What’s that you say, Mrs. Patty Ann?
Brett has left and gone away (not)
Does it have a pool? I’m not coming unless there’s a pool.
Nice Deb,
Not to worry, Casa Michael has a bath-tub as big as an Olympic pool.
And that is in just the downstairs Guest Bathroom.
Yes, it has a pool.
hope you got the mineral rights. that’s becoming important in this area.
By the way, welcome back to Texas.
She wasn’t asking about the pool of fluid left in the gay dungeon.
Michael,
Now that you have seen the Light and moved back to the greatest state in the Union, I need to ask the big question:
Have you bought a good pair of cowboy boots yet?
And I don’t mean a pair of those ghey roper types, I mean a pair of Tony Lamas or Luchesses.
“In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree!” Or something.
It’s got a pool and a pond.
Pond would be good for you.
See the ball gag. Be the ball-gag.
Cuffy does Coleridge! HOT!
It’s easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you’ve got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
You’ll get nothing, and like it!
Last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.
And I don’t mean a pair of those ghey roper types, I mean a pair of Tony Lamas or Luchesses.
I bought the boots the last time I lived here, and still have them. They aren’t real fancy. I think the brand is Justin.
Wiser does Smales.
Not hot.
Justin boots! HOT!
Justin boots! HOT!
Real Texans wear Tony Lamas and Levis!!
Eh, the last pair I bought were Justin Ropers. They’re ok. My go to beat up favs are some old Larry Mahans.
Never was much of a Wrangler 11MWZ guy, but a lot of cowboys would argue with you Mr. M.
So you’d probably have to shoot them.
Hey Michael, you guys need any new office furniture?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZBHZT3a-FA
HAH! I used to do that with bills when the girls were little and had gerbils. They were perfect letter openers.
*snif*
All I see is a link to a youtube video and Dave saying he used to do something with gerbils.
That’s it, I quit the internet.
Did PETA approve that letter opener?
We need a post for July 14th. Laura was too frickin’ lazy to put the rabbit on the main page, so I’ll do it.
Damn. Frickin’ lazy Laura.
I didn’t think it was main-page worthy.
I like to post very exciting and important things on IB, like pictures of plants from two years ago and potato salad reports.
Potato salad? I’m all ears.
he really is you know. those things look like taxicab doors.
Can I post a picture of a sign we saw at a beach on Lake Erie of a dog pooping?
On second thought…maybe The Hostages would be a better place for that one…
^eh, why not do it here? It would be just the kind of humor needed.
How many legs does the dog have?
It’s a silhouette, so you only see two.
I’m assuming that your picture of the pooping dog sign will be accompanied by an insightful explanation of how this relates to matters of public importance. It seems to me, for example, that dogs pooping on beaches are a metaphor for a reckless and irresponsible consumer culture that has led to the Crisis of Global Warming™.
I put up your insightful explanation ’cause it was so good.
When it comes to ears, I have no equal.
Unless Michelle is talking. Then I can’t hear a thing.
Have you bought a good pair of cowboy boots yet?
Speaking of which, I have 3 pairs of cowboy boots that I outgrew years ago but haven’t been able to part with. I can’t recall brand names, but I’m pretty sure a couple of them are Tony’s. One pair is black elephant, one is a rust colored ostrich. One’s a dark red, almost purple lizard. No, not just the ‘tips.’ Anywho, there collecting dust. Won’t get anywhere near there worth on eBay or a yard sale. I’d just as soon give them to someone who will appreciate them.
9 1/2’s all. I’m a size 12 now. That’s right ladies. 12. Those three pair combined are probably worth at least $600.
How big are your feet Mr. M? Michael?
I’m giving them away to any regular IBers who are serious about wearing them. I won’t even charge you S&H.
I should add that one usually wears boots like these at a 1/2 to a full size smaller than an athletic shoe. Shoe size 9 1/2 to 10 1/2 would work well. 11 is probably pushing it.
You had me at “purple lizard”.
I knew I would PattyAnn. I knew I would.
That’s just the way Texas gals roll.
Dang! I’m a 12 too, but thanks for the offer.
Cathy has red cowboy boots, BTW. She loves them.
Compo,
I do wear 9 1/2s! so if you are willing to part with them, I would be perfectly willing to take them off your hands. And I would wear them.
My daily footwear right now is a black pair of Tony Lamas Bull-skin. And every once in a while I’ll wear my gray Boa Backs.
Okay Mr. M. There yours. Glad you can use them and that they’re going to someone who will appreciate them. Give me time to find them. We’ve recently moved so I’ll have to search. You have my email address I believe. Send me your mailing address.
How come yore feet swolled up?
Heeeeey, wait a minute. I thought you lost your torso in a skiiing accident.
what, this is Ebay now?
Freebay.
How come yore feet swolled up?
Old age.
Freecycle
Compos’ List
12 here as well, darnit. People who know me would laugh if I wore them.
So I would wear them.
People who know me would laugh if I wore them.
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but people are too busy laughing at your face to be looking at your boots and laughing at them.
To All,
The trick in acquiring boots is to find a brand or pair that fit. Once you find a pair that fit correctly, they are the most comfortable footwear you will ever find.
I like wearing my boots better than wear sports shoes.
My feet are 8 1/2 EEE. At least I don’t need snowshoes.
They aren’t real fancy. I think the brand is Justin.
If you’re going to shorten it, they go by their last name: They’re called “Ropers.” And my first pair of boots were grey Ropers. Now I’ve got brown Red Wings. Which probably doesn’t seem too Texan, but dang if they’re not incredibly comfortable.
Welcome to Dallas, Michael. Which part of Dallas are you in? I’m pretty close to downtown.
If the deal closes, we’ll be living in Irving.
“The trick in acquiring boots is to find a brand or pair that fit.”
Apparently I’ve never figured out that trick. I’ve never worn a pair of boots that felt comfortable. I always assumed it’s because I’m a
citysuburb slicker.I might have been the only guy in Boston last Sept. wearing a pair of cowboy boots.
Michael in Irving? You’ll have to upgrade your wardrobe with more than just boots.
Isn’t the Dallas Cowboy Detention Facility in Irving?
I’ve never worn a pair of boots that felt comfortable. I always assumed it’s because I’m a city suburb slicker.
It’s probably because you didn’t wear them long enough. I’ve always thought they were terribly uncomfortable for a while. But the longer you wear a pair of boots, the more they shape to your feet, and the more comfortable they get. I had a roommate in law school that used to say his boots felt like a pair of socks.
Isn’t the Dallas Cowboy Detention Facility in Irving?
For the time being. It will be moving to Arlington — across from the Texas Rangers and Six Flags — in 2009.
… You don’t think Michael is moving into Texas Stadium, do you? ’cause that would be sweet.
Hey CM,
I can’t find your e-mail address, could you e-mail me your e-mail address?
“Which part of Dallas are you in? I’m pretty close to downtown.”
Why did not I know this? Oh, nevermind I think I just answered my own question.
Mr. M, I sent it to you, and copied cm
Fanx Dave. I had sent it to him earlier this morning, however your assistance is none-the-less very much appreciated. Wish I could send you a pair of boots as well, but alas, your feet are as big as mine. How about a pair of boxers instead?
Noprob. Actually, mine grew a little too, but not so much. 9 1/2 became 10.
What color boxers?
Brown.
You don’t scare me. I know you tossed those.
Didn’t somebody archive your legendary tale?
I have heard that to break in new boots you should stand in a bathtub full of hot water and then wear them until they are dry.
RG has it.
He archived the story too.
I have heard that to break in new boots you should stand in a bathtub full of hot water and then wear them until they are dry.
For you Yankees that live in colder climes, you need to have a hair dryer that is plugged in while standing in the tub full of water. Every once in a while dip the hair dryer into the water to help heat up the boots.