Moron+Skateboard+Asphalt=Happy Ending! January 3, 2009
Posted by Edward Von Bear in Ducks, Entertainment, Gardening, Handblogging, Man Laws, Sports.Tags: Darwin Smiles, I Really Hate Skatepunks
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Whenever I start feeling low, I just look for videos like this, and I regain that spring in my step.
more about “Moron+Skateboard+Asphalt=Happy Ending!“, posted with vodpod
Jesus built my hotrod AND crashed my skateboard, dude.
Wuss, how do you not learn how to roll into a fall?
Ask dave, you HIT, then bunch, then ROLL!
You end up with more scraps, but they are all smaller ones.
When I was taking hapkido classes, to even get a belt, you had to be physicaly thrown, and then hit, and roll.
If you can’t hit and roll, you don’t get even an EFFING WHITE BELT!
Korean karate (tae kwon do) teaches the same thing. You have to know how to tuck and roll, or you are in trouble in a fight. What you’re doing is shedding kinetic energy with minimal harm. The blocking moves do the same thing. The kicks and punches of tae kwon do are designed to deliver kinetic energy with maximum harm, but defense comes first.
Those classes remind me of “wax on, wax off.” Blocking is more important than punching.
I learned more about blocking in my line classes than in my hapkido classes. You don’t actually block, you spread the impact, by catching the hit on your hand, and spread it across your head and face.
I have never used it, cuz I was more a wrestler than puncher.
also toss in the fact, that I actually prefer to make a scene, rather than actually cause harm. I don’t like hurting people, I’m a puss that way, unless I’m defending a woman, then it’s both a scene and violence.
Does it speak to my maturity level that a truly LAUGHED OUT LOUD at the video. Eddie you’re right, it’s a real pick me up.
p.s. still laughing
I hate skater punks.
That will teach the skater punk to put his shirt on his head-idiot!
p.s. still laughing
“Turn it off, Dude”
*snigger*
cuz he was about to cry.
Poor little skater punk!
^zakley what I wuz thinkin’ Pinto.
I’m pretty good at taking pain, but the truth is that I probably dislike it more than everyone I have ever met.
Not a fan of pain, in fact, I hate it, but I have a sense of humor about it.
“Dude that looks like it hurts!”
“ya think?”
“What the Eff happened to your hand?”
“I was stupid.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Like a motherfucker.”
“yeah, we need to get back to base, can you drive?”
“why”
*shows arm*
“yeah we better get to base.”
I have a habbit of getting hurt in the most unattractive, yet virtually insignficant ways.
though I think my best is,
“shit, I have to go to BAS”
“what happened?”
“think I broke my foot.”
“how”
“stepped in a shitter treanch.”
(I was talking to my training corporal in MCT) and he stepped on my foot, not hard, just stepped on it a little to see if I was full of shit.
I sent him flying.
I go to BAS the next day, and the doc asked me the same questions, and as soon as I took my foot out of my boot, my foot balooned.
“definately looks like a strain” and he grabbed my foot.
I’m a rather large guy, but the doc was bigger than I was. When he grabbed my foot, I grabbed his collar, and damn near threw him like he was the effing comedian in the first pages of “The Watchmen” I just wish I had a window.
Pinto, you should come with a warning…
“Please strap me to the gurney before you touch me.”
you hitting on me? or trying to make michael jealous?
Hitting on you… not a good idea… given those stories.
So what’s your situation?
HAH!
NBC really needs to hulu that bit. Jonah Hill is Effing hilarious.
Isn’t “asphault” a tennis term? When they fall on the line?
Just keep your head on a swivel during fights. Trust me.
yeah, “absorb” and then “grapple” is my normal form.
20 was me. Like a ninja.
Does anyone else try to go anonymous and then lamely forget to change their name?
Can KC grapple me anyday?
You got to keep your head on a swivel during a vicious cock fight!
strong cheek muscles help.
I HEAR! I hear strong cheek muscles help.
I totaly heard that.
or a monkey knife fight
That hurt to watch it.
WP, I TRIED to grapple with you at Michael’s party. You were too drunk and I didn’t want to hurt you.
I grappled with a cheeseball.
yeah, “absorb” and then “grapple” is my normal form.
Actually, I read somewhere that in the extreme fighting competitions, it’s normally the wrestlers that win. All that karate shit does not matter. Wrestlers can take one kick and then get close to go for a submission hold.
Tae kwon do teaches submission holds as well, but I imagine it takes some guts to absorb a hit, move in and use them.
Wrestling is basically bar fighting. Rule 1 is to go to the ground with your opponent as soon as possible. It’s a basic tenet of crimefighting also.
The best fight of my life was when Cathy and I were taking tae kwon do classes with our kids. This was back in St. Louis 20 years ago.
I got to spar with our teacher’s daughter. She was this pretty little sixteen-year-old kid, and she had a black belt. I had the newbie yellow belt.
Her dad warned me before the match to be safe and not to kick or punch with full force. I guess he was concerned because I’m kinda big, and she was very small.
The warning was totally unnecessary. She beat the crap out of me. Every time I tried to land a blow, she already was landing a foot in my face or something.
I would normally feel bad about getting my ass kicked by a teenage girl, but she was really cute, so it was not such a bad experience.
Re #33:
I think I may have already told that story, so I apologize if that was a rerun for you.
Let’s face it, I’m getting old enough that I’m allowed to repeat myself.
Wanna hear about how far I had to walk to and from school, uphill both ways, in blizzards?
Just ask me.
I was Marine.
and you are right, 1 on 1 wrestling wins, but when you are Marine, you are basicaly fighting a whole town.
It requires a lot of meanness. At first, I fought one on one, after my second actually 3rdh or 5th set of scars, I realized, violence is not a game.
I was LUCKY I had nice friends, otherwise I’d be a murderer.
I dunno, the sumo wrestler went down pretty hard in Bloodsport.
I always was able to beat Tyson in Punch Out, so I guess that means something.
And nothing will make a guy who doesn’t know better shit his pants more than seeing a baseball headed right at his forehead.
I was Marine.
I played clarinet in a Boy Scout marching band.
I was LUCKY I had nice friends, otherwise I’d be a murderer.
Same thing with me.
Jeebers, I crack myself up.
#38 is Lutheran humor at its best. You people do not deserve this. You are not worthy.
I grappled with a
cheeseballquart of marshmallow creme.Fixed that for you.
I think I told this before, and it’s a true story.
One of my friends and I were drunk, and he “accidentaly” spit on me, and I believe it was an accident because he spit on my leg, not in the area of my face.
My friend was on the otherside of one of those dining hall tables, and I reached across and grabbed him.
Somehow I managed to lift him up, and have him land on his feet on my side of the table.
we both looked down at the situation after he somehow teleported across the table.
“how the fuck did that happen?”
“what?”
“THIS!”
“Oh I jumped”
“you jump that high?”
“No, you’re that tall?”
“nope.”
Then we stepped away from eachother and looked at the situation, and just couldn’t figure out how we managed it without tipping the table, then we got bounced.
You were too drunk and I didn’t want to hurt you.
You hurt my feelings, bruised my ego and broke my heart.
Random thing.
I’m a pacifist, or rather, I’m largely pacific, because I have very little technical training (other than wrestling, and I’m DAMN GOOD at it, at least freestyle, which is MEAN!) in violence, but, I’m well acquainted with violence, it was the bread and butter of my upbringing.
Most important lesson I learned was “learn to take a hit,” second lesson I learned was “know how to deliver a hit.”
Part of the reason I’m “shy” as cathy says, and part of the reason I laugh at pain, when it’s not a final goal, is because, if _I_ become violent, it’s FUCKING OVER.
I’m batman, I’m rorschach I’m INSANE if I lift a fist.
I’m not GOOD, but I’m final, thats why my friends always fought my fights, because they knew, that if my opponent could piss “wicked” off that much? They were dead.
Sorry, I’m having a memory thing.
I’m not good, but I’m thorough.
I’m sure most of you who have been long timers know the story about me cutting the tip of my finger off?
And PA likes to say whenever someone says “Whats that?” she says” probably pinto’s blood.”
I cause myself harm pretty regularly, I REALLY dislike that situation, but it’s a fact of life being pinto.
Man, the time I was drunk (I know, get out of here) and my buddy was driving me hom, and I punched out his windshield?
Hand, not pretty, not at ALL pretty.
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