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For Your Viewing Pleasure, I Present To You…The Laker Girls! July 22, 2009

Posted by Edward von Bear in Ducks, Economics, Man Laws, Sex, Sports.
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This actually made me care about the NBA for about 30 seconds.
Thanks. via With Leather

Comments»

1. John Stansbury - July 23, 2009

Didn’t make me care about the NBA for even that long.

Purpletop McTanchest made me care about the Laker Girls, though.

2. Michael - July 23, 2009

Well, I care about the Spurs, but the absolute worst thing about televised NBA games is that they have some kind of stupid rule where they won’t show the cheerleaders shaking it for more than two seconds, and only about two or three times per game.

WTF?

Are they trying to pretend that these squads aren’t half the appeal of the NBA?

3. John Stansbury - July 23, 2009

Because showing hotties with their unrealistic proportions bouncing and kicking all over the place takes away from the integrity of the game.

Or something.

Like I care. I just love making up names for well–endowed females.

Chesty McBraenstein.

4. Michael - July 23, 2009

I think they should show the dancers during free throws, and then tell us if any points were scored when play resumes.

5. Michael - July 23, 2009

Smiley McRoundass.

6. Michael - July 23, 2009

Pony von Hooterschmidt.

7. Michael - July 23, 2009

Hey, this is fun.

Tiffany O’Titebuns.

8. Edward Von Bear - July 24, 2009

The Round Mounds Of Renown

9. John Stansbury - July 24, 2009

Brestus Chestus

10. composmentis - July 24, 2009

Dave in Texas.

Did I win?

11. lauraw - July 24, 2009

spam bucket?

12. lauraw - July 24, 2009

Crustie McVulva

Jennifer Weepingsores

Megyn Smelly

13. Dave in Texas - July 24, 2009

Paula Abdul.

14. Edward Von Bear - July 24, 2009

Laura:

I think Spam Bucket is a pretty good name as well.

15. John Stansbury - July 24, 2009

Come on, people who run this joint! The people have spoken! They desire a meme to keep them going!

Meme them! Meme them now!

Also, would it be out of bounds to name one of the fictional cheerpersons “Sperm Bucket”? This is the Lakers we’re talking about here. Or would that be beyond the pale?

Just looking for some boundaries here.

16. lauraw - July 24, 2009

In response to the plaintive wailings of a lone loser, today’s Meme Theme is what a complete waste of carbon John Stansbury is.

1) The only thing interesting about Stansbu….ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

17. composmentis - July 24, 2009

Heidi Maintenance

18. Michael - July 24, 2009

2) John Stansbury is mean to puppies.

19. composmentis - July 24, 2009

3) John Stansbury has a total of four syllables in his name. Just like Adolph Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer.

20. Michael - July 24, 2009

4) John Stansbury likes online relationships because they do not require personal hygiene.

21. composmentis - July 24, 2009

5) John Stansbury has been told to go fuck himself so many times that he’s actually become asexual.

22. lauraw - July 24, 2009

6) John Stansbury is so lonely that he has named his right hand

7) John Stansbury’s right hand is named ‘Brewfan’

23. composmentis - July 24, 2009

Eheheheheh!

8) The only bright idea John Stansbury ever had was the time he shoved a lightbulb up his ass without unscrewing it from the lamp first.

24. lauraw - July 24, 2009

8) Stansbury’s mother was so disappointed with the fruit of her womb that she tried to flush him. He was thirteen years old at the time.

25. Dave in Texas - July 24, 2009

When the original John Stansbury stepped up to sign the Declaration of Independence, Franklin handed him a pencil.

26. composmentis - July 24, 2009

8) John Stansbury caught the clap from licking semen off a truckstop restroom floor. The semen was his own.

27. lauraw - July 24, 2009

Franklin handed him a pencil

I’m dying.

28. Michael - July 24, 2009

In school, John Stansbury always had to wear a dunce cap, and it fit perfectly.

29. composmentis - July 24, 2009

John Stansbury is the result of the union between a carnie and a 4-H hog named Peggy Suey.

30. composmentis - July 24, 2009

John Stansbury’s penis is so small that his pediatrician thought he was a girl with an unusually small clitoris.

31. composmentis - July 24, 2009

I’d like to make a motion that numbers 26, 28, 29, and 30 be stricken from the record. Do I hear a second? Teh suxor.

32. Michael - July 24, 2009

What’s wrong with 28?

33. composmentis - July 24, 2009

What’s wrong with 28?

Hahaha! I knew you’d ask that.

It weren’t funny.

34. Michael - July 24, 2009

Bite me. You just didn’t get it.

*sulks*

35. composmentis - July 24, 2009

Dude, no shit, I laugh at most of your comments. Well, the ones that are intended to be funny. But that one went over like the Hindenberg full of Rosetta’s BBF models.

36. Mrs. Peel - July 24, 2009

John Stansbury probably regrets trying to make friends with you people.

You horrible, horrible people.

37. composmentis - July 24, 2009

We kid because we love. Well, I mean, I don’t know John from Adam, but I’m assuming from the few comments he’s left that he’s an alright dude and well,

LAURAW started it!!

Oh, and SHUT UP, PEEL!

38. BrewFan - July 24, 2009

7) John Stansbury’s right hand is named ‘Brewfan’

Hey now!

John Stansbury thinks the Laker Girl Video would be better if it only had Thai tranny hookers trying out.

39. lauraw - July 24, 2009

*suddenly jerks flamethrower to the side and extinguishes flame*

MRS PEEL!

Don’t you know you should NEVER walk into the middle of one of these exercises? You could have gotten hurt! What if I had flamed you?

Hmmm.

What if I had flamed Peel…. *one arched eyebrow*

40. lauraw - July 24, 2009

No no no noooo

No can do.

Won’t do it.

Nawp.

41. Michael - July 24, 2009

John Stansbury probably regrets trying to make friends with you people. You horrible, horrible people.

Oh lighten up, Peel. He was gonna find that out anyway.

42. Mrs. Peel - July 24, 2009

*runs off sobbing*

*collects herself, takes a few deep breaths, comes back*

Um…John Stansbury thinks XKCD is still good despite the recent significant decrease in quality?

43. Michael - July 24, 2009

Oh Peel, I’m laughing so hard it hurts, I’m dyin’ here, I can’t breathe.

44. lauraw - July 24, 2009

Jeepers she can be funny, can’t she?

45. Michael - July 24, 2009

It mighta been just a little better without the question mark at the end. A really hilarious flame like that should be delivered with authority.

46. composmentis - July 24, 2009

Oh, what do you know about funny, Mr. 28.

47. Michael - July 24, 2009

Dang, looks like we actually ran off John Stansbury.

*using the Brando “Stella shout”*

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHN!!!!!*

Dude, we’re kidding. Around here, insults are terms of endearment.

48. Michael - July 24, 2009

Did you know that they have Stella shouting competitions?

I’m going to make a post about it.

49. Dave in Texas - July 24, 2009

KAAAAAAAAAAAAYCEEEEEEEEE!!! HAAY KAAAYCEEEEEEE!

is this working?

50. Michael - July 24, 2009

Apparently not.

51. John Stansbury - July 24, 2009

What a cruel, hateful, vile thing to say! After over 20 years on the internet, I have never — never — been as insulted by anything anyone has ever said about me as I have here. I would go so far as to say that I would have just cause for libel in this case.

Comparing me to an XKCD fan! The nerve.

There’s satire, and there’s hate speech. This would fall in the latter.

52. John Stansbury - July 24, 2009

Or the latter.

The hate speech one.

Whichever that one is.

53. geoff - July 24, 2009

After over 20 years on the internet, I have never — never — been as insulted by anything anyone has ever said about me as I have here.

This fellow has obviously never been the subject of one of Rosetta’s birthday posts.

54. John Stansbury - July 24, 2009

Or the FORMER.

Lord.

See? See what web comics do to my composure?

55. Dave in Texas - July 24, 2009

shut up lawyer.

she totally digs me. I KNOW IT.

well, hope is knowledge.

56. Michael - July 24, 2009

Hey, my Stella shout brought John Stansbury back!

Still no sign of KC.

*smirks*

Just saw an Irving Community Theatre production of H.M.S. Pinafore. (The Irving Arts Center is 1.4 miles from our house.) I was stunned. The acting, set, stagecraft, etc., were all pretty much good community theatre level of production. But the voices were awesome. I would say that about 80% of the singing was Broadway caliber, and this is an amateur production.

I’m saying “theatre” just to annoy Mrs. Peel.

57. Mrs. Peel - July 24, 2009

I’d like to see Pinafore myself. But what I’d REALLY like to see is Hamlet. The only productions of Hamlet I’ve seen advertised around here were modern reimagining-type stuff. Screw that. Give me the original.

Saw Phantom for the first time recently…it wasn’t bad. The Phantom had a great voice – I felt a sizzle when he burst out with his first line, “Brava, brava, bravissima.” But Christine kinda sucked. I just didn’t believe her chemistry with the Phantom at all.

58. Michael - July 24, 2009

We actually saw Hamlet at Stratford on Avon, at the renowned Royal Shakespeare Theatre. As you would expect, Stratford on Avon is a huge touristy destination in England, but it is well worth it. The whole town is so cute and quaint that you suspect it is a Disney property. And the Royal Shakespeare Company only engages superstars.

It is easily the best acting I have ever seen in a live show, but the production was initially disconcerting. They used modern dress and props (e.g., a gun), but they hewed to the Early Modern English of Shakespeare. Go figure. I got used to it pretty quickly. So, Mrs. Peel, I’m just saying don’t let some modern reworking put you off, as long as they stick to the original script and don’t try to update the English.

I saw The Phantom on a business trip to Melbourne maybe 15 years ago, and was blown away, mostly by the stagecraft, which was cutting edge at the time. The Aussies bragged that their Phantom was rated as a peer with the NYC production. I believed them. (Melbourne, btw, is the culture capital in Australia, not Sydney.) Years later, I saw Miss Saigon on Broadway, again a business trip and I was with some Israeli friends. That was a really great evening. I think that is the only Broadway show I have ever seen. Anyway, I was once again amazed at the visual impact and technology that gets invested in these shows. They had the helicopter taking off from the roof of the U.S. embassy at the final evacuation.

They have got to be investing millions of dollars to make these sets work. I’ve heard that the trend continues; people keep raving about The Lion King, for example, and the big deal is the special effects.

59. Retired Geezer - July 24, 2009

My favorite Hamlet is the Mel Gibson Movie. It Rocked!

In other news, if you don’t like this video, you have no soul:

60. Retired Geezer - July 24, 2009

I got to work the Road Version of Miss Saigon, in Boise. I was impressed.

Les Mis is still my favorite Broadway Show.

Powerful.

61. Michael - July 24, 2009

Oh no.

Oh lordy lordy lordy.

Now we have proof positive that Geezer no longer reads the commenters site that he started.

I am devastated.

It feels like my guts just got spooned out by a backhoe.

*Michael curls up into a fetal position under his desk*

62. Lipstick - July 24, 2009

I saw Phantom in L.A. and wasn’t impressed. Most of the rest of my party loved it though. I just couldn’t seem to care about the characters.

LOVED The Mikado by the D’oyly Carte Opera Company, though.

63. Michael - July 25, 2009

Oh lordy lordy lordy.

I actually stole that line from a redneck neighbor of mine, back when I lived in a trailer park. He had just chopped off three fingers with his lawn mower, and kept saying that over and over. Well, the fingers were still kinda dangling, held by shreds of skin. He was just kneeling and looking at his hand, totally freaked out. So I had to wrap his hand, get someone to call an ambulance, and treat him and his wife for shock.

He lost all three fingers.

Trailer park life can be interesting.

But, anyway, that’s just how Geezer has made me feel.

*Michael crawls back under desk and resumes fetal position*

64. Retired Geezer - July 25, 2009

Uh… July 9th… That was the day my Intertube was out.

Or maybe it was the day my grandkids arrived for summer vacation at Camp Geezer.

It Could have been the day I got my iPhone.

No excuse though.

*Geezer dons the Cone of Shame.

65. Mrs. Peel - July 25, 2009

I think the Kenneth Branagh film version is the best.

I saw Wicked on Broadway. It was pretty good.

66. kevlarchick - July 25, 2009

My ears were tingling last night. It was the dulcet tones of Dave’s voice from 2000 miles away. I had a helluva dream…

67. Dave in Texas - July 25, 2009

ohhellyeah

68. Dave in Texas - July 25, 2009

I have a dulcet drawl

69. lauraw - July 25, 2009

*looks up dulcet in M-W*

Huh. I been using the archaic form my whole life.

S’wat happens when you live around ginnies in your formative years.

There’s a carload of screaming brats in the parking lot. This family with out of state plates is pulled over with the back of their SUV open and looking at maps and applying diapers and stuff.

Not nearly enough smackin’ going on over there, if you ask me. And no one has even uttered the dreaded “….I’ll give you something to cry about…”

70. Dave in Texas - July 25, 2009

I need something that cuts smoky grease off of painted exterior surfaces better than soap and water. Suggestions?

(I really should not grill under the back porch)

71. lauraw - July 25, 2009

Fantastik Oxy.

72. Dave in Texas - July 25, 2009

fanks!

73. Pupster - July 25, 2009

I would recommend applying smokey grease to remainder of the exterior for continuity.

74. lauraw - July 25, 2009

I think ‘Smoky Grease’ is a Ralph Lauren paint color.

75. Dave in Texas - July 25, 2009

I think the most important thing to remember here is that KC had a nice dream.

76. Michael - July 25, 2009

It was the dulcet tones of Dave’s voice from 2000 miles away.

That voice from 2,000 miles away in this direction was some guy in Nicaragua.

77. Lipstick - July 25, 2009

Try Goo Gone.


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