Innocent Bystanders
Anyone Can Blog ~ Commenting Is Hard
-
Recent Comments
- digitalbrownshirt on Monasteries On High
- daveintexas on Memorial Day and Survivor’s Guilt
- BrewFan on Memorial Day and Survivor’s Guilt
- Retired Geezer on Memorial Day and Survivor’s Guilt
- Lee on Hot Brazilian Woman In Trouble For Being A Hot Brazilian Woman
- geoff on Memorial Day and Survivor’s Guilt
- geoff on What a Hero Looks Like
- daveintexas on Happy Last Day of School!
- skinbad on Happy Last Day of School!
- daveintexas on Happy Last Day of School!
-
Top Posts
-
Recent Posts
-
Hits Measured by WordPress
- 4,697,753 hits since April 1, 2006
-
Top Clicks
Blogroll
- Ace of Spades HQ
- Bring the Heat, Bring the Stupid
- Doubleplusundead
- Enas Yorl
- Gateway Pundit
- H2
- Iowahawk
- Jerry Baird's Cowboy Seasonings
- Marie Sharps Pepper Sauces
- Mrs. Peel
- Nice Deb
- SobekPundit
- SondraK
- Taxes, Stupidity, and Death
- Uncommon Misconceptions
- Watts Up With That?
- Weasel Times & Stoat Intelligencer
Classic IB Comment Threads
- "Noise"
- a fat naked woman with greased thighs
- A Great Dinner With Men of Honor
- A Pope For Everyone
- Art
- Boy Scouts Celebrate PC 100th World Jamboree
- Bras Don’t Support Bouncing Breasts According to Study
- Carl Sagan Remix
- Compliment Thread
- Conservative Studies on Campus? Conservatives and Liberals Equally Stunned
- Dave in Texas for President!
- Democrats Are Toast
- Diocese Nears Break With Episcopal Church
- Do You Hate Denmark?
- Flying Squirrels
- Freezin Rain Not Done With You Yet, CT
- Girlfriend or Fling?
- Goats With A Buzz
- Health Complaint Thread
- I Can Give You What You Want
- IB Weekend Contest!
- Imaginary Lovers
- It Sucks To Be Muslim
- Lines Never Spoken
- Men Without Chests
- Name This Site Contest
- On Martyrdom
- Rename Schizophrenia
- Save This Dog
- Scared White Tourists
- Sexiest Woman Alive
- Ten Least Appealing Euphemisms for Sex
- The Platonic
- The Poverty Brand™
- Unemployment Predictions for May
Unique Visitors By Country since May 10, 2009 (click for details)
Categories
Archives
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
- November 2007
- October 2007
- September 2007
- August 2007
- July 2007
- June 2007
- May 2007
- April 2007
- March 2007
- February 2007
- January 2007
- December 2006
- November 2006
- October 2006
- September 2006
- August 2006
- July 2006
- June 2006
- May 2006
- April 2006
- March 2006
- Theme: Regulus by Binary Moon.
- Blog at WordPress.com.
- Top
This is your best post yet.
How the heck did this happen.
Oh, and fuck you, Harrison.
Temper, temper…
Can anybody else find this or am I trapped here forever?
You can just keep rereading my brilliant post until I let you out.
I’m bookmarking it.
OK, Laura, but don’t leave the door open so Harrison can get out.
shhhhhh
Woah. It’s like that twilighty show about that zone.
This is embarrassing.
This is scary!
http://tinyurl.com/y8b4k8u
This is like the post that got aborted, and refused to die.
I guess I’m OK with this as long as nobody from The Hostages shows up.
They would actually make fun of me for this.
Yannow, I think I’m just going to . . .
push Laura’s link off the recent comments.
BOOOYAHHH
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
It was a dark and stormy night…
If this ever made the Top Posts list (it won’t), next to the little blue bullet, there will just be an unclickable blank.
Kind of like a secret passageway in an old house.
Very appealing.
*creaking door*
*clanking chains*
*unexpectedly cold air*
Velcome to Michael World! Bwahahahaha!
what’s that smell?
I took the blue pill to get here, and now I’m asking myself the same thing over & over again:
Why oh why didn’t I take the RED pill?
Nobody expects us.
Nice setup, Dave. Russ walked right into that one.
So this is what happens when I touched that one button
If this ever made the Top Posts list (it won’t),
Where is that “can-do” spirit that we have all come to expect from the Bystanders?????
Oh, and this post is proof that Michael is actually just a sockpuppet for PJM.
Lipstick needs one of these:
http://tinyurl.com/ybatwdz
We’re at less than 30 comments, but I still nominate this for “classic IB comment threads”
Has anyone else noticed that, at the top of this thread, it says “posted by Michael in AA…”
How brave of Michael to be so open about his personal demons, doncha think?
This post could use a centered picture.
or another crappy music video.
Can someone let me out, please?
I gotta pee.
or another crappy music video.
Content? Here? In the official IB Black Hole of Entertainment?
Shirley, you jest.
I gotta pee.
Michael? Please hand harrison your empty title. He needs something to fill up.
Stop yer whinin’, Harrison. Just pee over there in that dark spooky corner with all those cobwebs.
That’s LauraW.
Heh. Slow day. We’re up to #4 on the Top Posts list.
This thread has nothing on a fat naked woman with greased thighs.
“Nothing,” I say.
Wax off.
Too late.
T.V. tonight?
BOOM!
Headshot.
How you doing?
hold still.
Answer the question.
sez, “Better, now, thanks.”
this could easily go
no slipping now!
oh yeah baby
it’s just mean!
Sorry. I “went there.”
my last nerve!
Pardon me.
There’s a fly in my soup.
Ooh baby . . .
Dead skunk in the middle of the road.
Loooooove is coming to our song.
My heart stood still.
Don’t worry, be happy.
How do you like your Obamessiah now?
Don’t you cry no more
Where you at?
Udderly predictable
I’m sure he’s done something to deserve it.
But she’s still beautiful to me.
Huh?
yum!
Just checking out that nifty flag counter.
Woo!
Yep.
everybody avert their eyes.
This thread gets a solid B-.
BIZZATCHES
Down in Jamaica
They got lots of pretty women
Steal your money
Then they break your heart
Lonesome Sue, she’s in love with ol’ Sam
Take him from the fire into the frying pan
Man, this thread is great, but we are not getting any links.
Glenn, pay attention!
testing 1, 2, 3
Burning down the house!
Too early to celebrate Valentine’s Day?
was it someting I said?
Use TP!
clap off!
CLAP ON CLAP OFF
There might have been things I missed.
But don’t be unkind.
It don’t mean I’m blind
But, there it is.
looks like we’re done here.
Last one out, please roll over the fat woman with the greased thighs. She’s starting to snore a bit.
homina homina
this thread!
This comment should really be deleted.
I do feel kinda fortunate, though.
I collect spores, molds and fungi. How ’bout you?
Because really, isn’t any thread improved by obscure references to classical Greece?
Drums keep pounding a rhythm to my brain.
*ogling Lipstick*
I’m hungry like the wolf, baby.
I’m a binary man
Armor
Are you clear?
ne f the keys nly works intermittently. I h pe this p st can still be underst od.
Woah. I must’ve blacked out at the ONT. How the hell did I get here?
Curse you, New Comments Thingy!!!
extra small!
bom chicka wow wow
WOODROW!!!
the only reason none of you did this is because you have manners.
I think I might know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy….
is it warm in here? I think it is.
Let’s hope it keeps up and the New Year sees our fortunes change for the better.
Poor little tykes.
brrrrrrrrr……….
kinda cold tho
Why do you hate Mother Gaia?
test, test
Hah!
Take my hand
come with me baby
to love land
let me show you how sweet it can be
maybe if I warm it up
That’s the only way he’s gonna see it…
…of your imaginati on
. . . for keeping this stupid joke alive.
anything to spice the joint up
Bow wow wow.
Woof?
Because I thought this thread had died, but maybe not.
*snaps towel at thread’s ass*
It’s not dead, just boring.
you watch your ass
forever.
and…
More?
Harrison, I still have this thread bookmarked. You don’t own it.
yeah, I said that
Michael.
I’ll bet five bucks that Laura shows up here in the next 24 hours. She still has the bookmark.
Any takers?
the internet!
It’s a sin.
Close! Just off by a few days Michael.
Boring afternoon here. This is when I start rolling my bookmarks over looking for grubs.
How the fuck does one click over to comment on this thread?
I have no idea.
I’ll bet Lamont Cranston could tell you.
BOO MOTHERFUCKERS
hi
Yo
There’s a fine feller-me-lad.
Heh. Do you know how much I love you people for bookmarking this?
Oh Hell I loved you anyway, who am I kiddin.
Ahhh, 8:16 am and already 85 degrees out.
Good morning my dear peeps!
It’s been like that here in CT many times this past month, LD. Weird for us.
Getting a cool rainy break today, thank goodness. We had T-storms yesterday but when I checked later the ground was still parched.
Alvin Greene is stalking this thread.
this is fuckin bullshit
“I’ve been through the blog on a poat with no name…”
There ain’t no one here for to give you no pain.
*BURP!
damn, them fishies were a little greasy
*puts the tracking powder on you for coming in here
uh
ahhh
AH-CHOOOOOOO~!
…honey I don’t think that’s tracking powder…
be sure to try the veal!
I prolly ought to close this thread. You people are acting stupid.
Oh wait, all our threads are stupid.
LEAVE IT OPEN BITCH
shhh
eat hearty!
for a pimp out there.
Love is coming to our song.
Only in WordPress’s world does Carry = Michael
WordPress
…rip off
OW.
they’re very profound, would you like me to share them?
down the soil lightly, else the plant roots will get no oxygen.
me to a glider and let me soar!
Woo-hoo. Found ya! Some morons is slow……
Take me away!
What will they tax next?
Breathing? Talking? Walking? Smiling? Farting?
a fat naked lady with greased thighs
just love it!
…how was the bubble-bath, Dave?
like Shawn.
It’s a dress-up day for work!
kicks somebody’s ass
Someday, you people will get tired of this nonsense, and you will engage in intelligent discourse regarding matters of public importance.
Oh yes, I believe that someday this will happen.
Oh great, who told Risk Funny Dildo about this place? Dude’s got no class.
BOOGETY BOOGETY
Yes, Dave, I still have the bookmark too.
asphalt is a tennis term for when you fall on the line.
yoo hoo Caspar
how YOU doin?
This is your best post yet .
Ima gonna kill you, Harrison.
Harrison gives good hugs. You will not touch him.
Damn!
heh.
Hello, Newman.
Hello, Jerry.
*kicks thread
OW!
*dies in puddle of blood
it’s totally plausible
I wanna punch that little badger fucker in the nose.
pecan pie bitches!
no more bets
Dutch Apple Pie!
You don’t scare me you know.
NOOOOOO CRUMBLES ON APPLE PIE!!!!
See: Democrats
Certs is a candy-mint!
NO! Certs is a breath-mint!
STOP! You’re both right.
Certs is two (bang) two (bang) two mints in one.
On holidays I eat half a piece of pecan pie sitting right next to half a piece of apple pie.
*no crumbly top stuff * just a nice flaky crust that submits to my fork tines in a most beautiful way*
Well, if the crust is properly made and maybe had some crumbs under it. . .
And I totally remember that Certs commercial!
Know what? For real? It’s a breath mint.
And candy mints? They’re breath mints, too.
*shoves mentos and diet coke in Laura’s shirt
THERE’S ONLY ONE REASON TO TURN MINT INTO CANDY!!
TAKE THE VEIL OFF YOUR EYES!!
Retsyn is made from animal fat.
Animal. Fayut.
Yet another reason to kill animals.
For their tasty retsyn.
It’s TWO (click) TWO (click) TWO minks in one!
#201
I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND HERE
NOBODY SAID YOU WERE!!!
SHIT!!!
Harrison, “two minks in one”?
I chortled so loud.
Lipstick: “bark of laughter”
Mr. L: huh?
Lipstick: It’s a long story
Retsyn is made from animal fat.
You are so full of shit. Retsyn is made from copper gluconate and hydrogenated cottonseed oil.
Dave, people can look this shit up online. It’s easy. Somebody invented search engines.
that’s what they want you to believe, sucker.
I, on the other hand, always report the truth.
Gummi Bears are made from rendered pig goop.
I think modern search engines were invented by somebody at Yahoo! Not Google. Yahoo! stands for Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle.
I’m on a first-name basis with their lawyers, so maybe I will check this out.
Google won the search engine war, by the way. Yahoo is now an ad platform. Their search engine is really just Bing rebranded as Yahoo! Bing is Microsoft’s challenge to Google.
Everybody in the industry hates Google.
Look, so there I was in the store, and it had these bottles of wine for like $2.50 and I said to myself that that’s just a bargin ya know? and so I’m like getting these at three and four a pop and I’m slammin’ them down every night and then came the buzz and I got wasted and then maaaaaaaaaaaybe I might have done some drunk commenting and so really who hasn’t am I right or am I right or am I right I’m right right so anyways I’m there maybe doing some drunken things and THAT’S when I notice that maybe the label on these things has some words or something on them…and that’s when I found out they weren’t really wine and more like grape juice with carbonated water in them.
So. Yeah. There’s that.
Also, in other news, turns out since I left college I have the constitution of a 93-year-old grandmother.
If anybody needs me, I’ll be drowning my sorrows away with a bottle of V-8.
I’ll tell you why everybody hates Google.
The advertising/search industry is worth billions in annual revenue. That revenue stream hangs by a narrow thread. The thread is consumer acceptance that their privacy is secure.
Think about it. Your computer, your smartphone, your ebook, your TV, they are all planting cookies and collecting information about you on servers that can accumulate terabytes of information. The network can accumulate enormous amounts of information about you.
If you have a cell phone turned on, we know where you are, and how you can get to the nearest Chinese restaurant. No shit. If you have an iPhone, download the YP.com app and you will see what I mean. Al Qaeda and the Colombian drug cartels have learned the hard way not to use a cell phone too often.
So, one reason why we hate Google is because they are the offenders on privacy issues. They put that money at risk.
Facebook is even worse.
There is a war being fought right now, the objective of which is to come up with an appropriate balance between online privacy vs. utility vs. money.
If anybody needs me, I’ll be drowning my sorrows away with a bottle of V-8.
Jeebers, Mac, don’t do that. V-8 will kill you. It’s made from pig intestines.
Try cranberry juice. It cures vaginal yeast infections, so it’s got to be good for you. I know this from personal experience (not my vagina, but you get my point).
I’ll bet cranberry juice, aside from some Vitamin C, is an antioxidant or something otherwise good for you that will prevent cancer and Alzheimer’s.
Also, cranberry juice tastes pretty darn good with some gin, which is made with juniper berries, and I’m thinking juniper berries also have healthful properties.
wow, you talk a lot.
(raw cranberry juice mixed with water is for treating urinary tract infections, and it does not cure them)
Try cranberry juice. It cures vaginal yeast infections,
Uh, is that just sprayed on?
Dribbled?
Just curious.
Power washer
Oh, CMON DAVE! You are being ridiculous.
Turkey baster.
tomay-to, tomah-to
oh……..my……gawd
Where am I?
Spritzer.
Where am I?
Where would you like to be?
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Where am I?
You are now in an alternate universe that is a part of my thumbnail.
Hello?!?!
It’s dark in here.
I can’t see.
ANYBODY?!?! HELLO?!?! ANYOOOOONE?!?!
Yoo hoo?
Hey, PJ.
As someone who’s been in here for going on a year;
you’ll get used to the dark.
It’s one of Michael’s best posts.
Ok. Who just touched me?
Sorry, I thought this was the mens room.
*puts hands in pockets, turns red*
idunno
those ain’t your pockets.
not that I’m complainin.
I’ll be safe here.
This place looks fine to me.
Seriously, I can’t see what you are all complaining about.
What this party needs is a Bass Player.
I’d say we had gone too far but I can’t see the line.
I have briefly ceased growing.
It’ll be brief.
this place needs a night light
a night light and a ‘stick up’
GO SEE MY MOVIES
WTF? I’m a Leo now?
I was a Virgo. I liked being a Virgo. It was me.
WE’RE IN YOUR SEKRIT POST! EATIN YOUR ROOTS
Ow.
om nom nom nom
KABOOOOOM!!!
Says Michael on the Recent Comments list, but ‘the rodenator’ here.
This thread just gets strangerer and strangerer.
Oh, it was just a lag after Michael’s editing.
HELP HELP WE’RE BEING REPRESSED!
I have returned…
rawrrr
Who is this Harrison fellow?
Your worst nightmare, buttnutt!
Let’s
fill
the recent
comments section
up with
stuff.
“You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.,”
it said.
Boo
-Yah!
Breakin’ a streak
hunchback takes the threaaaaaad
*spikes it in the zoney-area in front of the giant lobster fork*
You nice ladies can do anything you want to.
oh HELLSno
Is this “Harrison” person a sockpuppet for Wickedpinto?
Why thank you, Harrison. More Royal Wedding stuff coming right up!
Include the Horse Chase… that will grab Dave’s attention.
Is this “Harrison” person a sockpuppet for Wickedpinto?
Of course not, elsewise each of those silly little comments would be two paragraphs of babbling inanity.
There was this one time in Okinawa, me and a couple buddies went to this crazy shoe store. I don’t mean the store was crazy, like in that Heinlein book I meant crazy shoes. EFFED up colors, different sizes for the same pair of shoes and all left feet. I was pretty fucked up so I banged a couple of Jimmy Choos in the back room with an umbrella and a monkey.
^ True Story.
100% NO BULLSHIT
*gonna see who notices…*
Caught ya!
Anybody like this?.
Daughter got me the CD some years back. Pleasing harmony and instrumentals. Good stuff.
*waves at Harrison*
*puts finger to pursed lips*
Shhhhhh. Don’t tell ‘em we’re here… Maybe no one will notice.
Not a word…
Wow… perfect timing: The Decemberists are going to be at the Idaho Botanical Garden in about a week.
http://tinyurl.com/2agtvh
Two weeks ago, Mrs. Geezer surprised me with tickets to the Alison Krauss concert at the same place. She has a voice like an angel and the band was awesome.
Hi Geezer! I hope you get to that Decemberists show, and I’ll be beating Jealousy off with a Nerf club.
and Alison Krauss’ voice is amazing.
I’ll post a video I took of a guy dancing goofy at the AK concert. Remember Man of Constant Sorrow from Brother Where Art Thou?
This guy was so goofy (and infectious) that he got the whole crowd up.
I just have to figure out how to edit and upload it from my iPhone to teh interwebs.
1. Transfer video from iPhone to hard drive.
2. Edit with your video editing software that you got for free somewhere on the intertubes.
3. Upload to your free YouTube account. (I don’t think you can upload directly to WordPress — we would have to pay extra for video uploads.)
4. Copy URL and insert video in your post like any other YouTube video.
You’re welcome.
we would have to pay extra for video uploads
Want me to send you a check?
Want me to send you a check?
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
That was precious. You are so sweet.
I almost thought I lost my Zippo a few days ago. I was in a panic, but I found it on the car seat.
Just a couple of weeks ago I got a lifetime supply of flints on Amazon.com for about $12.
Seriously, I thought I was buying a flint dispenser. Turns out, I was buying a case of 24 flint dispensers, each with six flints. It was a flint wholesale deal. I’ll be dead before I use up half of these.
I also splurged and got a new wick. Turns out, I didn’t need one. After reading the instructions, I realized that I just needed to know how to take a needle-nose pliers and tug the current wick up a little higher, and clip off the charred top.
Hey Dave, you want some flints for your Zippo?
I got you covered.
Yeah, I hate running out of those things.
I always keep a spare inside the felt pad of the inside case. One way you can tell newer Zippos from the older ones is the newer ones have a hole in the center of the pad for storing the spare flint. Older ones you just have to stick em under the pad.
Also I am smooching the next chick that comes in here.
…
Sometimes I change the subject like that.
ha h ah ahaaa
*evasive maneuvers*
*POUNCE*
DANG.
Darnit all.
*covers face*
SUCCESS
I bought a Zippo a couple of months ago, so I could hang with the cool kids. Kept it in my backpack for a month but when I checked it recently, the fluid had all evaporated.
I refilled it and wrapped it in Saran Wrap.
*crosses fingers
You have to use them to get any use out of them.
Like these soft smoochable lips of mine.
*materializes suddenly*
*pinches harrison*
*vanishes*
*notices Dave’s lips are still puckered*
Bwaaa haha haaaaaa
OW!!
yeah, damn, total fail on me
I want a margarita and I want it now
Hola.
How YOU doin
You kids knock it off…
*TACKLE*
BAM!
OW!
HA!
BIFF!
MUFFY!
TOTO! AUNTIE EM!
Doctor Livingston?
WATSON!!
you people totally screwed this up. It was a Batman fight scene.
KAPOW!
OOF!
Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?!
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a rat’s ass.
Wait a minute…
Line!
This is why we can’t have nice things, and daddy drinks.
One more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s8l75Oxf1U
HAH!
ICE DONG