Will It Scrub? February 13, 2010
Posted by daveintexas in Crime, Heroes, Nature Shit, Sex, Technology.trackback
Today I shall test out my new power washer on this.
These purple stains come from a combination of chemicals in the pool and leaves that fall off of some purple leaved plants that hang out here looking pretty and making me happy. We
‘ll see what happens when I hit em with the super scrubber. STAY TUNED.
fixed
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Bizarre. What’s the name of the plant? Is it a kind of Perilla?
Hell I don’t know. It has purple leaves and it makes women crazy.
craaaaaaazy
Money plant?
Well duh — they don’t just give you ornamental plants for free.
a man, a stain, a power washer: rehsawrewopaniatsanama!!
Palindromes ain’t so hard.
I like your chances against the purple stain. You go get that stain.
I think it’s pretty and interesting. Let the stain live!
Let’s be careful out there.
Notice how its only on the surfaces with the most evaporation?
It’s been four hours since this project started. I got a baaaaaad feeling that Dave is out there cursing a blue streak and swinging a sledge hammer.
I mean, that rock looks kinda porous. In fact, it looks a lot like the rock used for my pool deck. Which means the stain may have soaked in pretty deep.
I’m thinking muriatic acid was the easy answer.
Here is your problem…. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:KMnO4_in_H2O.jpg
Yeah, that’s what I’m sayin’, muriatic acid will clean up that potassium pomegranate stuff in a jiffy. And won’t hurt the rock at all — it just reacts to organic material.
A pair of rubber gloves and a jug of acid woulda cost a hell of a lot less than that fancy new power washer.
Let’s all agree that we’ll be nice and we won’t make too much fun of Dave when the before and after pictures look identical.
OK, never mind, I didn’t mean that.
I actually paid money to learn about the magical properties of muriatic acid. When we bought this house, it had been vacant a long time, and there were a bunch of ugly stains on the bottom of the pool. I hired a pool guy to get rid of them. All he did was take a length of PVC pipe, put one end on the stain, and pour some acid in at the top. The acid is heavier than water and will sink right down to the stain. If the stain is anything organic, which is almost always the case, it will fizz off like magic. It also worked on some stains that looked like rust to me, like something metal has been left on the floor of the pool. The plaster does not get eroded or damaged at all.
That’s when we bought our own piece of PVC pipe and some heavy duty rubber gloves. You need to keep the acid around anyway just to adjust the ph balance of the pool every once in awhile.
Manganese oxidation is pretty cool. It’s purple when there is potassium. If Dave weren’t peeing in the pool his rocks would be stained black or brown.
The stain has to WANT to change.
Also: have you tried fire?
the sodium bicarbonate is working
I’m pretty sure Dave pees at the property line. That’s me who pees in his pool.
Fire is a good idea Jones. Just dump a whole bunch of gas on it and throw a match.
This will teach Dave take on a problem like that without consulting his pals first.
Right now he’s outside kicking that new power washer around the yard, and trying to think up an excuse for not posting the “after” pictures.
Dave — three words.
Muri. Atic. Acid.
You can just keep some in a spray bottle if the stain starts to come back.
Of course, make sure that spray bottle is well labeled.
No the acid doesn’t dissolve the stain bat brain.
The sodium does.
I scrubbed it. Now letting the chemicals do their magic.
You can probably sell the power washer on eBay.
Did you try fire?
No one has suggested bacon yet.
Hah!
I’ve been laughing about this all afternoon, after a few hours went by with no update.
Does that make me a bad person?
*flips through redneck handbook*
CHAPTER 6
General Cleaning, Stain Removal, and Cure For Shingles Rash
Try a rag soaked in gasoline or turpentine FIRST. Failure to try gasoline or turpentine FIRST may result in being challenged by a neighbor to explain yourself.
Holy moly.
Dave’s not a redneck.
I am frying bacon as we speak.
The purple is dissolving.
*Stands on a bucket and peers over Dave’s fence*
HEY BUDDY, D’JA TRY GASOLINE?
bitch, I flamed it already
Rub some hump on it.
This is the bestest throw-away Saturday post ever.
And I don’t believe that Dave actually tried muriatic acid, because it would have worked. He is just being stubborn and refuses to take my advice. Doesn’t want to admit that a Lutheran could have saved him a bunch of aggravation.
One other critical piece of advice:
No matter how cool the water is coming out of the power washer—-
DO NOT DIP!!!
AIYEEEEEE!!!!! OW OW OW OW OW OW OWWWWW!!!! FACK!!!!!!!!!!
Dave’s Redneck Neighbor, over fence: HEY BUDDY. HEY, HEY. BUDDY HEY.
Dave: (sighs) Howdy. Whut.
DRN: BUDDY WHY’D YA SPEND YER MONEY ON THAT STUFF? GASOLINE WORKS.
Dave: {inspects sole of shoe} This is working.
DRN: AWWW, MAN. I WOULDA BROUGHT YOU SOME GASOLINE. LISTEN, MY BUDDY UP TA ABILENE HAD SOMETHIN’ ON HIS DICK AND GASOLINE CLEARED IT RIGHT UP.
Dave: ….
DRN: YEAH, MAN, HIS UNCLE HEARD ABOUT IT, COME ROUND TO HIS HOUSE WITH A COUPLE FRIENDS, THEY HELD HIM DOWN AND HIS UNCLE PUT A LITTLE GAS ON HIS DICK AND LIT IT ON FIRE. CURED WHAT AIL’T ‘IM.
Dave: I bet it did but that…seems a little extreme. What had he had on his dick?
DRN: {dramatic pause} His cousin. HEEE HEE YUK HAAAWWW HAWW
Dave: {muttering under breath}Merciful Lord, it would be no small sign of your pleasure with me if you would preserve me further from the boisterous and vulgar peregrinations of this human cowpea. {accidentally steps on container of NaSO4, loses balance, falls into pool}
DRN: WELL SHEEE-IT! HAAAWWW HAW HAWWW
the chemical doodad is wrong and I know it, OK? just made that up.
No, it’s good. Neoprene Ancillary Oxycontin Sulphadrenamate.
It’s a household name.
AIYEEEEE IT BURNS!!!!!!!
Neoprene Ancillary Oxycontin Sulphadrenamate.
You just made that up. You can’t fool me.
Also, I binged baking soda, and the chemical formula is NaHCO3.
I was just checking to make sure my recollection was correct.
OW MUTHAFUCKA OWWWW
Plus, every idiot knows that NaSo4 is sodium sulphate. I know that right off the top of my head.
MAKE IT STOPPPP
Dave has changed his story a couple times. He said sulfate, and then he said carbonate.
So I wunged it. It’s been wunged.
Dave has changed his story a couple times.
Well Dave is a
Baptistmoron. Sodium sulphate is inert. Baking soda might actually affect the stain.Not as good as muriatic acid.
muretik ACID is for HIPPIYS who can;t life in REALITY
Dang, have their been any Spurwing sightings lately?
GPDDA<N THE FIRE MTHATFUCKA POQQQQWWWWW
JESUS GOD MAKJE OT STOP
In my head, I imagine Spurwing Plover as some guy who teaches graduate psychology courses at Stanford. He invented the persona just to fuck with everyone and become a legend.
Just as I thought, Michael is trying to kill Dave.
When you mix muriatic acid with potassium permanganate (KMnO4) the result is chlorine gas.
BAM
medic
If you mix it with bleach it will make your tub look like new.
My tubs look fine, thankyouverymuch, and I’m not taking any chemistry advice from you. I suspect your brain has welcomed too many chemicals already.
Hey, Dave updated the post.
*squints*
Damn, you spa looks a lot better. Good job.
my feet are burning
the er nurses are nice……
Dave, you on city or well water?
Isn’t sulfate -2? So you would need two sodium ions, right?
I’m not going to look it up because I’m lazy and sick and want to make soup for dinner instead of doing f’n chemistry.
we don’t know until Dave gives us the actual name of the chemical.
Sodium bisulfate?
…bisulfite?
*shrugs*
He used muriatic acid, like I told him to, and won’t admit that it worked.
Probably was careless and stepped on some that he slopped around, which is why his feet hurt.
Muriatic acid is some nasty shit.
-Stuff Jefferson Meant To Say If He Could, Vol III
uhm, acid creates salts. You don’t wanna be dumping that in a ph balanced pool.
dude.
He is trying to kill you.
Rule #1, Never take advice from someone with vats of acid in their garage.
just sayin. you don’t want to bathe in that shit Michael. It’ll hurt.
keep some baking soda around, Tell Cathy, She’ll know what to do broseph.
you don’t want to bathe in that shit Michael. It’ll hurt.
You gotta be real careful not to inhale it, to tell the truth. It is indeed nasty stuff.
But it works.
It is also required to clean out the fins in the electronic cell that converts salt to chlorine in my pool.
OH FUACKKK… THRE FPLAMES!Q!!!!!
goddammmmot… shit shit shit
But it works.
It made a lot of my problems disappear.
It made a lot of my problems disappear.
Are they still looking for your ex-wife?
*whistlin’*
*with foot, nudges vat of muriatic acid and bones under porch*
SOBEK YOU DID NOT SEE THIS
DON’T BE A HERO
nudges vat of muriatic acid and bones under porch
Laura, honey, let me give you some legal advice.
GET RID OF THE TEETH!
Dental records are a bitch. Anybody who watches CSI will tell you this.
When we get the real final update, can we also get an update on the pool sweep?
Is anyone else bothered by the fact that those chicks seem to have no hips?
Pretty sure that’s just foreshortening because of the angle. If they were turned 90 degrees you’d see chick-shaped people. The blonde in the background especially looks like she might have a booty on her.
Now; if I had a bag of teeth that I wanted to make go away, what would be a good way to ditch them?
that’s easy. crush em in a vise.
When we get the real final update, can we also get an update on the pool sweep?
Some people are just gluttons for punishment.
Somebody should invent a mouthwash that doesn’t make coffee taste so awful afterwards.
Laura,
as a short term solution, have the coffee before the mouthwash.
And always remember that old, unused wells or cisterns at abandoned farmsteads are great places to throw any……..unfortunate….teeth you might have sitting in a buckskin bag on your fireplace mantle.
What? Don’t look at me like that! Doesn’t everyone occasionally daydream about how to dispose of an incriminating body?