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Ancient Chinese Secret, Hunh? March 24, 2010

Posted by geoff in News.
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Thanks to Hot Air.

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1. geoff - March 24, 2010

Here’s the old commercial, for those in a nostalgic mood.

2. lauraw - March 24, 2010

raaaaaaacist

The editor of that news site should have pulled the plug on this story lest it become embedded in the minds of the populace, stimulating copycat behavior.
Just sayin’.

It’s the sort of tale that sticks out.

*cough*

3. lauraw - March 24, 2010

That was clumsy.

Look, this is what I’m trying to say; if I worked in that reporter’s office, I would have prodded him to squash it.

4. lauraw - March 24, 2010

That’s not right either. Anybody else want to help me get this out? I’m stuck.

5. lauraw - March 24, 2010

*Light bulb moment!*

Ok….no. Nevermind.

6. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Who else wants to take a stab at this? Hello?

7. lauraw - March 24, 2010

I mean, there’s probably reams of medical reports just like this already. Why push it, right?

8. Michael - March 24, 2010

Laura, six out of your last six comments should have been stuffed into the garbage bin. You have reached a new low.

9. Michael - March 24, 2010

I mean, stop and think before you exploit an opening to rudely insert rubbish into the civilized discourse we aspire to here at IB.

10. Michael - March 24, 2010

I mean, who gave you the right to cram your opinions into a forum that was never intended for such abuse?

11. TXMarko - March 24, 2010

Laura, I am amazed that Michael has not already shown you to the exit doorknob.

12. Michael - March 24, 2010

TXMarko, I am tempted to ban her for this. She has rammed her uncouth commenting style into the inner sanctum of a polite commenters’ site, and such rude intrusions should not be tolerated.

I expect an apology from Laura.

13. daveintexas - March 24, 2010

you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all aroun

that’s what it’s arr about.

14. TXMarko - March 24, 2010

As well you should, Michael!

Laura has been intentionally circling around the rim of decency, all the while allowing the winds of destruction to pass through her dusky portal!

15. Mrs. Peel - March 24, 2010

Ok, after reading these comments, I’m definitely not reading the linked story.

16. Michael - March 24, 2010

Good decision, Mrs. Peel. You are a fair flower of Southern Womanhood who should not be exposed to such base information.

Stand firm. Do not look. Do not even peek at such craven practices.

17. daveintexas - March 24, 2010

Don’t feel any obligation, you’re relieved of that.

18. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Your disapproval pierces me.

I could fall into a deep depression.

19. Larry - March 24, 2010

I think sometimes I read this blog just for the comments.

20. daveintexas - March 24, 2010

Was Michael dumping on you?

21. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Really, I could just punch myself.

22. Pupster - March 24, 2010

One in a million shot, Doc.

One in a million.

23. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Sometimes we just can’t hold it all in, and our private demons protrude too much into public view.

24. Michael - March 24, 2010

I think sometimes I read this blog just for the comments.

Larry, look at our tag line (it’s right there below “Innocent Bystanders”). Check out the “About” page. (Top right.)

This site (not “blog”) is only about the comments.

25. geoff - March 24, 2010

lauraw’s really forcing it. She’s totally scraping the bottom of the bowel.

26. Michael - March 24, 2010

Your disapproval pierces me.

I could fall into a deep depression.

OK, that proves my point. Laura is the worst person on the intertubes. She will penetrate your inner recesses, while acting all friendly-like, and deliver some brutal reality before you realize what is happening.

Shun Laura. I’m saying this for your own safety.

27. lauraw - March 24, 2010

You may discharge me as you wish.
Let us lay it open; I don’t give a rip what you do now. I tried to be cheeky, but my humor is a blunt instrument. I have punctured the veil of civility here.

28. Dr. Ruth - March 24, 2010

Goils, yous can always take a nice zucchini…

29. geoff - March 24, 2010

Laura is the worst person on the intertubes.

I still value her probing insight.

30. Dave in Texas - March 24, 2010

I’d like to offer something up, but I don’t think I can add anything beyond what’s already been pushed here.

31. geoff - March 24, 2010

Let us lay it open; I don’t give a rip what you do now.

Nice use of the semi…colon.

32. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Michael enjoys a more polished bon mot. And by ‘bon mot,’ I mean ass-missile.

Yeah, Mike, that was a crack at you.

33. Dave in Texas - March 24, 2010

>> deep depression.

Is that alliteration, or assonance?

34. Michael - March 24, 2010

You may discharge me as you wish.
Let us lay it open; I don’t give a rip what you do now. I tried to be cheeky, but my humor is a blunt instrument. I have punctured the veil of civility here.

I’m cryin’ with laughter.

OK, Laura, you win. I can’t top that.

Plus, Cathy at the moment is hosting one of her Tea Party organizer meetings for Dallas, so I have to go to the Spirit Grille for food.

Bye.

35. TXMarko - March 24, 2010

To ensure the continued smooth movement of this blog, Michael, I would recommend that you should continue to expose these darkened areas to the light.

As a firm and regular blog host, is your natural duty1

36. Michael - March 24, 2010

TXMarko: You have to hit the shift key to get an exclamation point. Otherwise, you look lame.

37. TXMarko - March 24, 2010

Lame? As in gold?

38. TXMarko - March 24, 2010

This is the price of commenting while watching American Idol.

39. Michael - March 24, 2010

This is the price of commenting while watching American Idol.

That must be the worst excuse I have ever heard for a commenting error.

40. lauraw - March 24, 2010

The original article didn’t mention it, but stemming from his vegetable injury were all sorts of unpleasant side-dishes.

41. Russ from Winterset - March 24, 2010

No, the worst excuse would be “I was all hopped up on Chocate Mook and I ignored spelling, punctuation and grammar”.

42. Russ from Winterset - March 24, 2010

Side dishes? Like the pu pu platter?

43. Michael - March 24, 2010

Laura, you are a bad person!!!

44. Michael - March 24, 2010

Chocate mook has been the road to ruin for many people.

45. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Later, at dinner: “Ugh, this tastes like ass.”

46. daveintexas - March 24, 2010

Bubba: Yew gone eat dat pickle?

Earl: No.

47. Tushar - March 24, 2010

I don’t want to insert myself into an argument and get into a tight spot, but what exactly are you people discussing?

48. Michael - March 24, 2010

*note to self — shoot brown people. We don’t need their shit*

49. daveintexas - March 24, 2010

How you tried to come to the gathering this past weekend but couldn’t quite make it all the way up.

50. Tushar - March 24, 2010

Dave,

extremely tight deadlines at work. So tight, forget the CT trip, I couldn’t insert a tiny zucchini in the schedule.

51. Tushar - March 24, 2010

>>*note to self — shoot brown people. We don’t need their shit*

Michael is jealous because unlike me, when he gets shit-faced, you can tell.

52. daveintexas - March 24, 2010

Well that’s a darn shame. We left an opening for you.

53. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Hey, we understand. Sometimes things just won’t fit. Don’t kill yourself trying, man.

54. Tushar - March 24, 2010

Must run. Kids need dad at bed time. The little demons sleep just 7 or 8 hours per day.

55. lauraw - March 24, 2010

Okay, okay.
Time for sleep.

Goodnight gentlemen! It was fun.

Tushar, next meetup will be mid-July. Hopefully by then you’ll have prepared a more appropriately sized aperture in your schedule.

Take your time, work up to it, and use lube.

Wait…what?

56. daveintexas - March 24, 2010

Don’t cram em into anything smaller than they will fit.

57. Michael - March 24, 2010

Michael is jealous because unlike me, when he gets shit-faced, you can tell.

Well, that’s sorta true.

Another reason to shoot at brown people!

*Michael waves pistol in air, looks around*

Shit, I just heard thunder. It is going to rain in Irving. I’m going inside.

I’ll kill Tushar later.

58. Confucious - March 25, 2010

I say…

Man who put vegatables in rectum eventually tosses salad.

59. skinbad - March 25, 2010

I’ll give him credit for intestinal rectitude and moral fiber.

60. wiserbud - March 25, 2010

This thread is just being peppered with silly comments.

61. Richard Gere - March 25, 2010

What a way to go.

62. Goatse Guy - March 25, 2010

Only one zucchini?

Amateur.

63. Russ from Winterset - March 25, 2010

*channels Lawrence from Office Space*

“Hey buddy. Watch out for your cornhole.”

*channels xbrad going after pajama momma*

“Duuuuuuude?!?! It’s a rectum, not a clown car.”

*channels Andrew Sullivan*

“You know what? After further consideration, I may have to explore the Eastern Healing Arts as alternative medicine.”

64. Tushar - March 25, 2010

>>I’ll kill Tushar later.

Michael,
you had your chance in CT in June 09. Your next chance is coming July.

When we met, you gave me some fat cigars. I did not foresee this thread at that time.

65. geoff - March 25, 2010

When we met, you gave me some fat cigars. I did not foresee this thread at that time.

Taking ass-pennies to the next level.

66. lauraw - March 25, 2010

When we met, you gave me some fat cigars. I did not foresee this thread at that time.

*unbidden visual crops up in mind*

Uh. Uh-oh. urk

*turns away and discreetly vomits just a little bit into coffee mug*

‘scuse me.

67. skinbad - March 25, 2010

Sometimes a fat cigar is just a fat cigar. But not always.

Stuff Clinton Said: Special Illustrated Uncensored Edition, with posthumous introduction by Ted “Pants on the Ground” Kennedy (faux leather, disinfectant-impregnated covering)

68. Tushar - March 25, 2010

Laura

granted that the first four letters of my name are funny, but please stop making mental images out of it. It only spoils the taste of your coffee.


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