I find this amusing April 18, 2010
Posted by skinbad in Crime, Economics, Travel.trackback
Bring your bikes to Salt Lake City. This place is full of bike enthusiasts.
Quibble: yes, some enthusiasts have bolt cutters.
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Becker told the summit that cycling is “integral to having a high-quality community.”
…and Becker’s bike contributed to that high-quality.
The summit was devoted to a variety of issues facing cyclists.
Theft?
Grimy pant legs caught in gears?
Ass-grab-and-runs (like hit-and-runs)?
Cat callers?
Flat tires?
Inclement weather?
Needing deodorant… and a comb?
No place for shopping bags?
No thanks!
Irony is so ironic sometimes.
…and sometimes ironic irony is made of iron.
Looks like bike enthusiasts touched a raw nerve for Cathy.
Michael didn’t arrive at your first date on a bicycle, did he?
Michael didn’t arrive at your first date on a bicycle, did he?
Quite the contrary.
I was the brilliant one who purchased the bike and tried to be all green & environmental and self-righteous. I was the one who got my pretty pant-leg caught in the greasy-gears… got my butt grabbed, which almost caused me to swerve into a ditch… I got rained on… And keeping the grocery shopping down to only what I could fit into my backpack got kinda old… real fast. Probably the best of the worst thing was that I got my pretty bike stolen… so that was the end of that. God spoke to me, I guess.
Did I mention the issue of smelling bad and needing a comb? No? Let’s not go there.
Grimy pant legs caught in gears?
-It’s called a chainguard
Ass-grab-and-runs (like hit-and-runs)?
-Ladies love bicycle butts
Cat callers?
-See above
Flat tires?
-Kevlar lined tires (standard for commuting) don’t flat
Inclement weather?
-It’s called a jacket pansy and of course fenders.
Needing deodorant… and a comb?
-Not really a problem if someone dresses and rides accordingly. A package of baby wipes and basic toiletries is probably the most someone whom knows what they are doing would ever need to not reek.
No place for shopping bags?
-Never heard of panniers or even baskets?
No thanks!
-Don’t knock bicycling for practical purposes until you’ve tried it. And if one must continue to hate on bicycles, please remember that the more people cycle, the less traffic, and more street parking will be available for your car.
*shoves a broomstick into the spokes of the front wheel as Blue Falcon cruises by.
Hey, does that one have airbags?
Daveintexas, that was uncalled for. Somehow I don’t think you’d take too kindly to some jackass throwing a brick through your windshield on the highway. That’s the equivalent to piking a cyclist. Both are deadly serious and I don’t see how anyone could find either humorous.
That’s because you don’t know me.
I don’t see how anyone could find either humorous
I laughed because I could envision a pretentious, smug, drive-by snark artist hurtling through the air.
I know him. Let’s just say that Dave’s sense of humor is, um, stupid.
Daveintexas, that was uncalled for.
For the record, it didn’t actually happen.
Both are deadly serious
But are blog comments deadly serious?
Relax, biker.
Babywipes? LOL! Falcon-smart-ass in Bahhhhh-ston makes this suggestion? Doubt he/she has tried cycling in Texas’ 100+ degree heat traveling longer distances & larger cities.
btw-I will knock it. I have tried it.
Boston? Small. I’m counting the ways.
*still trying to figger what a jacket pansy is*
Think they sell one of ‘em at the Bass Pro Shop in Grapevine?
Yeah most people try to avoid aholes.
“Both are deadly serious and I don’t see how anyone could find either humorous.” Any driver who had to share the road with a cyclist would find it hilarious. Do cyclists obey any of the rules of the road? Ever?
Ass-grab-and-runs (like hit-and-runs)?
-Ladies love bicycle butts
Ladies usually don’t like to be grabbed my creepy weirdos. I speak from experience here.
Needing deodorant… and a comb?
-Not really a problem if someone dresses and rides accordingly. A package of baby wipes…
I’m trying to leave my creepy weirdo past behind me so no way am I travelling with a package of baby wipes.
Daveintexas, that was uncalled for.
Au contraire. You were smearing your smuggery all over the thread. You even got some on Cathy. That’s unacceptable.
Now Brewfan, he knows me. So he’d tell you not only would I find it humorous, I’d throw a brick at your head after you landed.
My employer provides showers, so some people commute by bicycle and shower when they get to work. If your employer doesn’t provide showers or the commute is too long, it’s simply impractical for all but the most avid bikers.
Combining fitness with transportation is fantastic, but for most living situations, cars are much more convenient. I drive to work, and I only live a few miles away.
Do cyclists obey any of the rules of the road?
The problem I usually see is stop signs. They don’t want to lose their momentum, so they often just zip on through.
I’m not trying to be smug. I leave that to the uber libs across the river in Cambridge and over the border in Brookline.
Um I notice you seem to think ‘Boston’ is rather small. You do know that when people talk about Boston they generally aren’t talking about the city proper but everything within the metro highway belt which is a good 20 miles outside the city limits right? Boston in terms of scale really = SanFrancisco only with fewer homeless people and ‘queer culture’ and more corrupt politicians in addition to colleges.
Commutes less than 18 miles in weather between 20-85 degrees on streets where the speed of traffic is roughly 20-25 miles an hour (that’s most busy city streets on a block grid) or has about 5ft on the edge of a travel lane work fine. I don’t think cycling is practical in most rural areas or any place where 80% humidity and 80+ degree weather are the norm for the majority of the year.
Don’t mock the baby wipes either (pretty much any unscented skin wipe). If you’ve ever been stuck in hot weather/failed A/C / horrible bus/train/cab they are a lifesaver to duck into a restroom and wick away sweat before it smells. Not spending an entire work day feeling filthy and not pissing off your co-workers is a pretty good idea.
Now if everyone here wants to hate those damn hipsters on poor fitted brakeless track bikes ‘ironically’ running stop signs, redlines, crosswalks, traveling the wrong way on one way streets, texting while riding/smoking/drinking PBR, and pretty much doing everything they can to ignore public safety in the name of being douchebags, that I can get on board with.
Wow, you talk a lot.
Sorry Dave
Now if everyone here wants to hate those damn hipsters on poor fitted brakeless track bikes . . .
I love those hipsters. Makes my whole day when I can sideswipe one into the curb with the mirror on my big ole beat up SUV.
You do know that when people talk about Boston they generally aren’t talking about the city proper
Bostonians are.
By the way, Blue Falcon, be a mensch and take your wife out to dinner at the Top of the Hub. I hear the food and the view are great.
(My son works as a sous chef there.)
Hate? Nah… I’m not on board with that.
Bored? Um. Yea.
*rolls eyes*gets a beer*
If Andy is in the kitchen, tell the waiter to tell him you know his Dad (Michael is my real name). Maybe you’ll get some extra rolls or something.
*rolls eyes*gets a beer*
Mmmmm. Beer.
Atkinsing again. Sigh.
Can’t we combine our efforts and pike BFiB and then throw a brick at him?
Brad, let’s see what kind of tip he leaves at Top of the Hub before we do that.
That was really a bad start with BFiB, whose heart is probably in the right place. Let’s try this again:
So . . . . . . you seem to like bicycling, huh?
Atkinsing again. Sigh.
What about a wine, Geoff?
And if you can’t have a wine, just whine. K?
And if you can’t have a wine, just whine. K?
That’s my current plan. Everybody’s going to be around tonight, right?
I keed. I’m like a rock.
*sob*
♫I am a rock. I am an eyeeeealand.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.♪
That was possibly the most fatuous Simon & Garfunkel song ever, amongst an otherwise laudable body of work.
Michael, you haven’t heard “Baby Driver” off the BOTW album
Since the bike dude got offended and left, can I turn this conversation into something a little more about ME?
I spent some time in the Baaastun area whilst in the Army (Ft. Devens, to be precise). During the winter of 1978-79, which is generally accepted as the worst winter evah… unless this last one beat it out.
Never been to the Top of the Hub, but I did get to see Ted Nugent at Faneuil Hall and spent some time in the Combat Zone….
Jones, of course I have, but BOTW is such a really impressive breakthrough album that I hate to say anything bad about it.
spent some time in the Combat Zone….
I did not hear about a recent war in Boston.
TXMarko were you an ASA kinda guy?
I did not hear about a recent war in Boston.
Oh, it wasn’t recent, Michael. This was 1978.
Brew, Yessir.
98J. Electronic Warfare Non Communications Interceptor.
I remember years ago watching a movie with my wife which was supposed to be in Vietnam during the war, but was actually shot in Thailand. In one scene, a cop was chasing a bad guy through the whorehouse area of Saigan, but it was actually the Patpong area in Bangkok. I had been to Bangkok several times on business.
So, the chase goes past a stripper/hooker/sex show club I had visited on a goofy night out with the guys, and I was all excited. I said, “Hey, I recognize that place! I’ve been there!!!” I think it was called King’s Castle or something like that.
I had some splainin’ to do.
I had some splainin’ to do.
It was all strictly business, I am sure!
I was just trying to establish a good relationship with my clients. I hardly noticed all those nekkid wimmen doing bizarre things.
During the winter of 1978-79, which is generally accepted as the worst winter evah
That was my first winter there as well. When I was out there a few weeks ago, everyone was telling me that the latest winter was one of the mildest they’ve ever had.
I was a 04B(North Vietnamese)/98G Voice Intercept Op
In the early years of Nam, I was Clarinet, Boy Scout Marching Band, Portage Trails Council.
You guys are pussies.
I didn’t get offended, was busy cooking dinner, and then doing the dishes since I don’t have a dishwasher. (Yeah, I’m that poor and can’t stand our horribly unreliable and unsanitary transit system, that’s part of the reasons the bike)
Do all threads here turn into open threads at some point?
Do all threads here turn into open threads at some point?
Pretty much. One of the rules at IB, the “commenter’s site,” is that there are no off-topic comments.
Regarding your poverty, don’t be a whiner. Save up a few bucks and dine at Top of the Hub.
Boston is actually pretty well served by MBTA, in my opinion. Not many cities have a transit system that extensive. D.C. and San Francisco come to mind, but not many.
I’m stuck as an independent contractor without the option of receiving unemployment. Keeping a saving account as full as possible is only insurance I have to not default on the mortgage of my shoebox condo.
In other words:
Does Top of the Hub still have a discounted night on Mondays or whatever was their slowest night of the week?
In the early years of Nam, I was Clarinet, Boy Scout Marching Band, Portage Trails Council.
In the early years of Nam, I was trombonist, High School Marching Band, and Boy Scout (Order of the Arrow).
Vietnam was over by the time I enlisted in ’78. Brew, RADAR intercept & Analysis was my gig.
At least we weren’t 05H Diddy-Bops….
The neighborhood I live in has notoriously difficult to find street parking and really expensive garages. Pretty much the only budget options are walk, ride, or take the MBTA.
The T has decent coverage. It’s the being able to rely on it to get you somewhere on time (damn you Green Line) and in the summer time not arriving at work smelling like the few hundred people sardined in with you when the A/C failed. With the air movement front cycling I’m typically fresher getting to work during the hottest days in comparison to taking the subway/buses.
When I first started biking I was surprised how what was a 40-45 minute commute with transfers and waiting on platforms turned into 15-20 minute ride. It probably doesn’t help either that my office is located such that, without a direct route, one has to go downtown to switch subway lines and then transfer at another station to a bus in a rather roundabout manner.
Yeah, well…..I’d have served in ‘Nam too; however enlisting & traveling halfway around the world & then tromping around through the jungle day after day would have been somewhat difficult with my Mom’s strict “NO, you may NOT cross the highway & go play in the park downtown” policy. (I was only 4 years old in ’72)
Blue Falcon, I’m cool with you choosing your bike-culture.
We’ve been to Boston several times because have a family member who lives there. He got rid of his car shortly after moving there because it was such a hassle to have a car. But he moved into the city and uses public transportation to make up for it. On the down side, it’s not easy for him to leave the city for little trips or take vacations. His personal transportation freedom is very limited, but he is still young and he gets by occasionally bumming rides from friends.
Your choices of a bike and public transportation may be great options for you in Boston, but they simply do not work for a major percentage of Americans… and that should be okay.
I tried the bike thing. I’m not critical of those who adopt a bike culture and find it works for them. I just have a problem with bike-people who think they can self-righteously foist it on the rest of us when we honestly know better what works for us.
Blue Falcon, I personally would not hazard my health by riding any type of 2-wheeler in the Boston area.
The Rotaries alone are enough to make you want to invest in a lot of protective sheetmetal.
“I just have a problem with bike-people who think they can self-righteously foist it on the rest of us when we honestly know better what works for us.”
I agree. The people who are 100% anti-car don’t seem to understand that trucks and people in rural areas need access for any semblance of an economy to work. The vast distances outside of centralized cities require independent modes of high speed transportation, that seems to be lost on most of the hyper ‘green’ no combustion zealots.
Bikes should be an option in cities and suburbs where they make sense to reduce short commuting trips. Not the only option, but one option of many to help dilute congestion.
What is also highly problematic is that the DOT and congress critters keep putting all sorts of funding towards hyper expensive tourist rail trails. Removing useful rail bed and replacing it with an expensive entirely new roadway in the process. Instead they should be using the money for improve road maintenance and large networks inner or inter city commuter bike lanes on existing roads. We are talking about a minimal cost of extra paint and a better pothole patching which benefits everyone. The same idiots then wonder why highways are clogged a few years later because the capacity for passenger/rail freight is gone and there are no other transportation options.
Didja see the 9-alarm fire at 485 Beacon Street the other week?
That was just down the block from my old frat.
Well, Blue Falcon. I challenge you to get involved in local politics and make a difference right where you live in this very issue that you have some understanding about and the passion to effect change.
I’m just getting started, but have been welcomed with open arms. There’s a lot of work that gets done without most of us even knowing about it. Most local elections go through with very little support because people are so apathetic. We conservatives are learning that with a little ‘community organization’ we can turn the tides.
We have tons to learn from those who have been faithfully serving our community for many years. But these folks make great mentors. They are good conservative people out there fighting the very issues of which you speak — and they could use an extra dude or two in the fight.
Tip O’Neill said it: All Politics is Local. So keep in mind YOU can make a difference.
Blue Falcon:
Cathy is correct. If a little known Republican in Massholeland can win a Senate seat, you can do whatever you set your mind to as well.
Right now, Cathy is a board member of the Irving Republican Women’s Club.
Meaning, she pretty much runs Texas. It’s scary.
Eddie! Michael! Hush…
Heard kinda creepy account of that Massachusetts Senate race that made my head spin around a few times…
…then I spewed pea soup.
A Polling place was on an old burial/witch trial spot?
my Mom’s strict “NO, you may NOT cross the highway & go play in the park downtown” policy. (I was only 4 years old in ‘72)
Russ, you could have been practicing with your kazoo to make it into a Webelos Marching Band, and thus doing your part to defend America against its enemies, foreign and domestic.
With all due respect, I question your patriotism, sir.
Boise is a pretty bike-friendly town. There are places you can ride along the river (the Greenbelt) where you don’t have to cross paths with a car for 25 miles.
Many public roads have a white line along the side of the road for the ‘bike lane’. What pisses me off is the bikers will not stay in the lane, they force you to drive 20 mph until oncoming traffic allows you to pass.
That’s just not right.
We have about 10 bikes at Camp Geezer. We were going to have a bikeathon when Clan Skinbad came to visit but it didn’t work out.
They need to come back.
Hey Geez. I wanna come for a visit and bring Batman, but we don’t think it will happen this year… maybe next, huh.
Geezer, how long is the biking season in Boise?
You know, when the snow is less than waist-deep?
Down here in Tejas, we have events like the Hotter’N Hell 100, an annual bike ride for 100 miles in 100+ degree heat.
http://www.hh100.org/
Camp Geezer is a great place. The company and the Rock Band are top notch. I don’t think we can go until gas is $4.25/gallon again. We timed that one just right. It looks like we’ll get another opportunity.
btw – Russ, your comment about the crossing the highway made me laugh. Love’s ya and say HOWDY to the family.
Bicycle related story: Winterset is located about 30 miles Southwest of Des Moines, and in addition to Interstates 35 and 80, you can get to the Big City by traveling NE on a twisting 2-lane blacktop county highway that goes up & down hills all the way. It used to be a great ride on my motorcycle a few years ago, but the surface is a little too messed up to really give you a good ride anymore. Anyway, local bicycle clubs got this road designated as a “shared roadway”, and when the weather’s nice, large groups of them go for recreational rides on the highway.
I have absolutely NO problem with sharing the road with them; however a large portion of the riders are “slobs”. They ride in big “Tour de France” packs that take up the entire damn lane, they don’t wear loudly visible clothing, and they all seem to have a chip on their shoulder about cars. Last spring, a local farmer clipped one of them with one of the two anhydrous tanks he was towing (he came over a hill and came up behind a large group, so he swerved into the other lane to miss them but the second tank clipped a rider on the way by), and many of those bicycle douches were loudly accusing this guy of DELIBERATELY targeting a bicyclist. They were agitating to get a septugenarian arrested for attempted murder.
In July, the old man who used to live two doors down from us (Janis bought some toys for Mo Money at a garage sale he had last year) killed a bicyclist on the same road and attempted to cover it up. He was eventually caught & charged, but he killed himself before they could schedule a trial. The pressure of dealing with a wife who had Alzheimers, his drinking problem AND the accident was too much for him.
Lets just say that I’m not exactly down with bicyclists & their “we’re just the same as you are” arguments.
I’m ok with ‘sharing the road’, as long as the bikes are going the speed limit, not 20 mph under it.
… and in the bike lane.
… with big gaudy flags
… and glittery handlebar streamers (like DinT has)