I have no fork, and I must scream. September 19, 2010
Posted by skinbad in Crime, Family, Food, Handblogging, History, Honor, Law, Personal Experiences, Religion.trackback
Nooo!
Nooooo!!
Noooooyearghhhbllaaa!!!!
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
What did I see this morning while the waffle iron was heating and I was gathering the necessary implements?
What the fork???
Yes, the Sacred Waffle Fork that has been with me nigh on twenty years (and has served waffles in Ohio and Idaho) has been compromised. No child will admit culpability and the missing piece has not been found. Yes, waffles were made and waffles were consumed, but if my kids would have taken a good look at my face, they would have noticed my smile looked out of place. You know the rest.
It does look kind of hazy, doesn’t it? There’s a big brush fire south of us.
What the Fork?!
Forkulus!
Fork barrel spending.
My kingdom for a fork.
Fork of July.
Fork it over.
Fork he’s a jolly good fellow.
Fork and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
Fork Motor Company
Fork crying out loud. I own the Recent Comments!
Yea!
Cathy is softening up the comment thread for me. It’s like cloud seeding. Thanks Cathy!
Fork and Mindy
Slouching Towards Arugula by Judge Robert H.Fork
Forkin’ Welcome!
Oh Beautiful Fork Spacious Skies…
sucka
Innocent Fork-Standers
What a forking shame.
Has Dave got his fork-skin caught in that backhoe yet?
Hey Skinbad!
Was wondering where you had toddled off to.
I like the little arrow on the fork to tell you which side to use. Exceedingly helpful.
Skinbad brought the Sacred Fork to Camp Geezer just to whip up the waffles.
Mrs. Skinbad brought some delightful homemade Plum syrup.
Yum
*Instructions on Fork*
“Do not insert in eye”
Skinbad = Ruprect?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7P5qJAI9BIc#t=00m46s
if my kids would have taken a good look at my face, they would have noticed my smile looked out of place. You know the rest.
Do you mean the kids should notice the tracks of your tears?
Wait a minute, maybe you mean you’re going to stab those kids in the back.
Good idea. Do it now before the college tuition bills start showing up.
I saw Smokey Robinson live about 15 years ago. It was a convention event sponsored by MTV/VH1. He was an older man at the time, and well into the gospel preacher phase of his life. But his show was still awesome, and it was just cool to see a living legend.
It’s interesting to look at old soul music acts. They introduced the elements of showmanship, choreography, and costumes to popular music. Meaning, they did not just stand onstage and play guitars, like their white competitors. We see their influence today, carried to the extreme, in acts like Lady GaGa.
Anyone know where smokey got his name? Using wooden forks on the grill perhaps? Old dude can still rock and be a legend at the same time.
I like the little arrow on the fork to tell you which side to use. Exceedingly helpful.
I stopped using the arrow after the first ten years. You just kind of get a feel for it.
Best fork EVAH!
I know the feeling Skinny. I have a long plastic that looks like the Kool Aid man. He is stained and got melted on the oven burner, but I will not get rid of him.
A fork too far?
A farwell to forks?
Do I forkin’ amuse you?
Fork you AND the horse you rode in on.
Fork Worth
South Fork
Fork Knox
Forksgiving
Forktunate
Go Fork it.
The Fork Network
Monster Forks
Dirty Forks
Forkin A!
Forky Chicken
*sneaks up behind Cathy and pinches her*
*RUNS LIKE HELL*
Ali Babba and the Forky Thieves
Markey Mark and the Forkey Bunch
The Fork Seasons Hotel
Annette Forkachello
Lauraw Fork President 2012
Rosetta pitches fork!
Forky Five Caliber
Top Forky Hits
Fork lift
I don’t think Cathy really knew what Michael’s been up to lately:
http://tinyurl.com/2w42j7s
*adds red bustier, green gloves and green miniskirt to shopping list*
Fork your eyes only.
An eye fork an eye.
if ( fork() == -1 ) {
system(“mplayer scream.mp3″);
}
Michael needs to take Cathy out for a nice chicken dinner–or maybe to Belize.
Michael needs to take Cathy out for a nice chicken dinner–or maybe to Belize. for waffles.
FIFY
No child will admit culpability and the missing piece has not been found.
Skinbad, do you by chance own an electric dishwasher? It appears you may due to the slight melted curve of the tool handle in question.
If you do, check the bottom right-hand corner inside the washing-area of the appliance.
It may hold the treasure you seek…
Michael needs to take Cathy out for a nice chicken dinner…
Popeyes? Or Church’s?
“No child will admit culpability…”
Give me ten minutes with each of ‘em. I’ll get the truth.
*checks private stash of sodium pentathol*
Good eye, TX. It’s true that my utensil has more of a pronounced angle than it did when I was younger. The bend has been there for a few years. From what
Retired Geezer tells meI’ve heard, this is normal.Blabbermouth
I have a photo of Sobek when he wa a naked baby. Well, nearly naked. He was wearing a diaper that had slid to the ground. I’m not sure what that has to do with a bent fork with a brooken tine but the image popped into my mind?
*Hmmm…how to scan and download an old photo?*
>>Good eye, TX. It’s true that my utensil has more of a pronounced angle than it did when I was younger. The bend has been there for a few years. From what
Retired Geezertells me I’ve heard, this is normal.Utensil? Is that what the kids are calling it now-a-days?
>>*Hmmm…how to scan and download an old photo?*
Ha ha ha! Sobek is going to get the full monty!
OBF, now we know where Sobek’s good sense of humor comes from. Has he ever done his Apu (from Simpsons) impression for you?
*Hmmm…how to scan and download an old photo?*
Pffft, please. We’ve met your kid.
Nobody here wants to see a picture of a lemur in a dirty diaper.
Tushar – he has. Funny but totally inappropriate but funny, but he shouldn’t have gone and done it, but funny, I’m not supposed to laugh, but I did. Political correctness is making me a little schizoid.
Baby crocs are much more cute that the bigger dudes but you’re right they’re still pretty ugly.
*puts away photo*
Aw, don’t feel bad.
Here’s one of my baby pics: http://bit.ly/2oZ8Ku
I was pooping in the tub.
How cute.
You were nearly bald back then, Laura!
>>Political correctness is making me a little schizoid.
Political correctness has no place here at IB. Everyone’s ethnic heritage is fair game here. Except Michael’s. A horrified silence falls over this place whenever anyone broaches the topic of where Michael hatched from. One theory suggests a torrid romance between a Manatee and a Sasquatch.
We’re called Personatees now, you misogynist human-centric bastard.
Ain’t NOTHING wrong with your utensil, bubba.
>> The bend has been there for a few years. From what
Retired Geezer tells meI’ve heard, this is normal.Well, yeah, if by a “few” years you mean 42.
One theory suggests a torrid romance between a Manatee and a Sasquatch.
Hey now!