They Assigned the Right Writer to This Story February 12, 2012
Posted by geoff in News.trackback
The WaPo pulls a kind of Tom Swifty:
For a GOP in transition, turmoil is nothing new
-Karen Tumulty
Innocent Bystanders
Anyone Can Blog ~ Commenting Is Hard
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Indeed!
“Minorities to the back of the boat,” said the GOP sternly.
“What we need here is change,” he said hopefully.
*unclear on the concept*
“The GOP has no balls!” RG said testily.
“My beloved GOP is going downhill!” he said condescendingly.
As Keynesian plans fail, small-government ideals will once again gain eminence, claimed the hunchback.
“We will pursue Al Qaeda and the Taliban wherever they hide,” the President droned.
“I don’t care how many prisoners we waterboard,” Cheney sputtered.
“Hey China! We’re coming to take your major food crops!” he said derisively.
“I can’t believe how they give privates all the crap jobs,” he grunted.
“Success at this game is evidence of your sparkling wits,” she effervesced.
“Don’t turn around — there’s a gay guy back there!” he said straightforwardly.
“Fine, if that’s what you really want, I’ll make you a damn three-egg omelet,” he sighed, beaten.
“Now let’s change the topic to individual human transport,” he segued.
“That’s my second colonoscopy this month,” he rebutted.
“No- YOU listen! You’re not getting that load of sand and aggregate until I get paid,” he ground out through gritted teeth.
“This vintage is definitely superior: Note the complete absence of that chemical aftertaste you get from drinking Nite Train” he whined.
“More air on the fire!” he bellowed.
“Can you tell I’m not wearing a bra today?” she asked pointedly.
Oooo, good one, Mark.
Concise.
“Do these jeans make my ass look big?” she tossed out there like a softball waiting to be hit over the outfield fence into the parking lot, where it will shatter the windshield of some poor sap who didn’t even know what was coming.
“Today we isolated the gene that causes stupidity,” the scientist announced dumbfoundedly.
“This is all Bush’s fault”, he kept saying liberally.
Karen Tumulty, BTW, once wrote a story with which I took issue.