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I Can Give You What You Want August 29, 2013

Posted by Retired Geezer in Music.
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[Asst. Site Administrator Note (8/29/2013): As we cruise to 5MM how about a little blast from the past! Thanks to RG’s last post for jogging my failing memory

NOTE FROM SITE ADMINISTRATION: Comments closed at 2,000 in honor of a marathon commenting binge by Amish to get there. Amish deserves to get the last word. Kudos also to Bart, who was the driving force in keeping the thread alive.

[Asst. Site Administrator Note (8/20/2007): Hey, its a tradition. And remember IB Ladies; BrewFan Can Give You What You Want!]

[Asst. Site Administrator Note (6/18/2007]: I have bumped this to the top once again due to … ok, I bumped it to the top to annoy Michael. Lets be honest.]

[Asst. Site Administrator Note (2/26): I have bumped this to the top so Michael has easy access in case he wants some good music while he’s catching some rays and/or sampling the local ganja.]

[Asst. Site Administrator Note(2/2): I have bumped this to the top due to overwhelming popular demand. Bwahahahaha]

[Asst. Site Administrator Note(5/5/11): Because I can. And its Cinco de Pony.]

OK Michael… It’s ON.

Geezers; We’re at the Cutting Edge of Popular Music.

About these ads

Comments

1. Michael - December 2, 2006

Put it in the Music category!

2. Retired Geezer - December 2, 2006

I always forget that little step.

*kicks dirt*

3. Bart - December 2, 2006

Ugh. And you were doing so well, Geez.

4. Retired Geezer - December 24, 2006

Oh yeah, this has made it into the Top Posts category.

5. Michael - December 24, 2006

How the heck did this happen?

*Goes to check Dashboard*

6. Michael - December 24, 2006

No link — search engine hits.

7. chekk0r - December 30, 2006

who is that?
name and single pls!

8. geoff - December 30, 2006

I think it’s “Ice Cream” by New Young Pony Club.

9. Retired Geezer - December 30, 2006

geoff’s right.

I kinda like the tune.

10. geoff - December 30, 2006

Very 80’s.

11. Anonymous - January 1, 2007

Intel

12. composmentis - January 4, 2007

Sweet. I could hang 25 candy canes off my wiener right now.

Okay, 3. Geez just what were you browsing for when you, ahem, came across that little number?

13. spudder - January 5, 2007

I didn’t realize candy canes came in miniature sizes.

14. starman - January 8, 2007

I like it. Love the woman in the blue dress. A real turn on to see her there.

15. strohberries - January 8, 2007

i’ve been hunting that stupid but addictive tune for a long time now. i’ve been to yahoo answers and the whole bloody world keeps telling me the song from the intel commercial is mr. dabada. so i ended up here. water looks nice. wha goes one here? and as for that video, almost as retro as ‘groove is in the heart’, if anyone remmbers that turkey!

16. Retired Geezer - January 8, 2007

When I first saw the commercial for Intel, I thought the soundtrack was Fergie.

17. Benni - January 8, 2007

Can I help me please?
Which group sings this song “I Can Give You What You Want” ?

18. Retired Geezer - January 8, 2007

It’s “Ice Cream” by New Young Pony Club.

Just like geoff said in comment #8

19. MeL - January 8, 2007

Hey Retired Geezer,
are you sure that is New Young Pony Club?
I don’t found the song at the i-net?!?

Green Day rock’s

20. Retired Geezer - January 8, 2007
21. MeL - January 9, 2007

Ok I found it!:-)
Thanks

Green Day rock’s

22. lauraw - January 17, 2007

That really is a fun little video.

23. BrewFan - January 17, 2007

Wouldn’t it be nice if all the music posters here had such good taste?

24. lauraw - January 17, 2007

You know what I dig the most? The clothes.

I remember those fun clothes we used to wear. We never looked nasty. Nice fabrics, everything covered, kind of funky crazy, but still way classier than what the kids are hardly wearing these days.

Shit.

I’m old!

25. skinbad - January 17, 2007

I don’t want to shock anyone, but I think there is some sort of sexual innuendo going on with that video. Maybe I’m wrong. I’ll have to watch it again.

26. lauraw - January 17, 2007

And the hairstyles! Pin it all up on one side, tumbling curls, bangs, all of it I love it I love it.

27. lauraw - January 17, 2007

No, I’m pretty sure the whole thing is an allegory about the girl’s cooking skills.
Quite clever to use ‘candy’ as a metaphor for how good her cooking is.

28. Retired Geezer - January 17, 2007

No, I’m pretty sure the whole thing is an allegory about the girl’s cooking skills.

Soooo… the part with the chocolate dripping into her mouth, sort of a “Girrrls like chocolate” meme?

But what about the Girl on Girl backrub, huh?
How about that?

29. BrewFan - January 17, 2007

But what about the Girl on Girl backrub, huh?
How about that?

Symbolic of the constant struggle against the Patriarchy!

30. Dave in Texas - January 17, 2007

I think it’s one of the better music vid posted here.

So many are such tripe.

31. Bart - January 17, 2007

lauraw is becoming a wacky aunt.

32. harrison - January 17, 2007

lauraw is becoming a wacky aunt.

Just now?

Great vid, BTW.

33. Lipstick - January 17, 2007

This reminds me, I haven’t had a body wave with bangs in a long time.

And whatever happened to my legwarmers?

Ah, memories! Thanks for posting this.

34. BrewFan - January 17, 2007

And whatever happened to my legwarmers?

Did you ‘Flashdance’ around the house in those Lipstick? :)

35. Lipstick - January 17, 2007

Why yes. Yes I did.

What a feeling!!

36. Lipstick - January 17, 2007

I took my passion and I made it happen.

Yes indeedy.

37. BrewFan - January 17, 2007

Why yes. Yes I did.

Don’t be embarrased; you’re in good company. To this very day, Dave slips into his new socks and does the very same thing.

38. Retired Geezer - January 17, 2007

Dave slips into his new socks and does the very same thing.

You left out his New Underwear.

But not this week because he’s retaining water.

39. Michael - January 17, 2007

I think it’s one of the better music vid posted here.

So many are such tripe.

You are just transparently trying to piss me off, Dave. It is obvious that you are jealous of me. Was it not me who broadened your musical horizons by exposing you to Barbie Girl?

Yes. Indeed it was.

40. Michael - January 17, 2007

They key to the Barbie Girl video, by the way, is to watch it at least once while you are focusing exclusively on “Ken” in the background. Otherwise you will miss some of his gags. That guy is frickin’ hilarious.

41. Dave in Texas - January 17, 2007

It was that transparent?

dang.

Carry on, clarinet warrior.

42. lauraw - January 17, 2007

lauraw is becoming a wacky aunt.

Now, Snapper, back in my day, we din’t sass our old’uns.
Now, I’m gon’ haf ta strap ya.
Open yer drawers, now. It’ll tech you a lesson, but it won’t hur–

HOLY SHIT Y’ALL THE BOY GOT NO HAIR ON ‘IM
BILLY BOB, JOHN-BOY, BOBBIE-SUE, C’MERE AN’ LOOK

43. Dave in Texas - January 17, 2007

you forgot Earl

44. Retired Geezer - January 18, 2007

Mrs. Geezer still has some leg warmers.
I still have my fannypack.

Just sayin’.

45. steve_in_hb - January 18, 2007

“HOLY SHIT Y’ALL THE BOY GOT NO HAIR ON ‘IM
BILLY BOB, JOHN-BOY, BOBBIE-SUE, C’MERE AN’ LOOK”

Lauraw –

A friend of mine grew up in a pretty tough area where the men amused themselves by having neighborhod boys bareknuckle box while they bet on who would win. He also apparently developed pubic hair at an early age. His father used this to win money from unsuspecting people who couldn’t believe a little kid had pubic hair.

He would be out and about in the neighborhood and when his father had a bet arranged he would whistle for him – “One whistle meant I should come ready to box, and another meant I should come ready to show my balls.” Makes me happy I had a normal childhood.

46. lauraw - January 18, 2007

I knew a couple kids who were retrieved nightly by whistles. My mom would simply yell our names, which was Not Cool.

47. lauraw - January 18, 2007

Hi. Still here.

48. Retired Geezer - January 19, 2007

This video kind of grows on you, doesn’t it?

The 80’s were kind of a fun period.

49. Retired Geezer - January 19, 2007

I just did a Google search:
This post is #3 out of 98.6 million.

Results 1 – 10 of about 98,600,000 English pages for i can give you what you want

50. lauraw - January 19, 2007

That’s awesome, Geezer!

51. composmentis - January 19, 2007

I haven’t had a body wave with bangs in a long time.

I haven’t had bangs in a long time.

52. Dave in Texas - January 19, 2007

I haven’t had bangs in a long time.

are we talking about hair?

53. composmentis - January 19, 2007

That was one of those things that, when I wrote it, I honestly thought, “I wonder if Dave in Texas will comment about whether I’m talking about my hairline or sexlife.”

You did not disappoint amigo.

And yes, we are talking about hair. On my noggin.

54. BrewFan - January 19, 2007

It is catchy. I sing it to Mrs. BrewFan.

55. kevlarchick - January 19, 2007

My dad had an incredible whistle. Carried for miles. Wish I could do it.

56. daveintexas - January 19, 2007

I’m on my game dude.

On an aside, in my neighborhood in Huntsville Alabama, there were five buddies named “David”.

We all ran home to dinner on unique dad whistles.

True.

57. Retired Geezer - January 19, 2007

I never could master the ‘two fingers in the mouth’ whistle. I knew chicks that could do it but not me.

How many IB’ers can do it?

58. daveintexas - January 19, 2007

mrs Dave in Texas could split your eardrum with the two fingered whistle.

I have never figured it out.

But I will by golly. I surely will!

*pizza’s here!!!*

59. Lipstick - January 19, 2007

On an aside, in my neighborhood in Huntsville Alabama, there were five buddies named “David”.

I have a cousin named David in Huntsville. About your age too, or a bit older. Just for a kick, I’ll email you the last name. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

60. daveintexas - January 19, 2007

I remember them all Lipstick. Email away.

We all lived south of Huntsville, off Memorial Drive.

61. Michael - January 19, 2007

I reckon there’s just no point in posting anymore, if we’re just going to keep reviving dead threads.

62. sandy burger - January 19, 2007

I can do a lot of intesting things with two fingers. But, alas, whistling is not one of them. Learning that trick is on my todo list.

63. BrewFan - January 19, 2007

Can’t do the two-fingered whistle. Can’t talk like Donald Duck.

Life is cruel.

64. lauraw - January 20, 2007

Hi.

65. The Question That Inspired the Song - January 21, 2007

Can you make it stop snowing?

66. Abominable Snowman - January 21, 2007

Suck it!

67. Retired Geezer - January 21, 2007

You too can have 6-pack abs like the Abdominal Snow….
Oops, never mind.

68. Retired Geezer - January 21, 2007

Can’t talk like Donald Duck.

Comedian John Byner (yeah, I worked him), could do the funniest voice I ever heard.
He should have gotten a job doing cartoon voices in The Simpsons.
Maybe he did.

69. composmentis - January 22, 2007

Well, somebody’s gotta create post # 69!

70. Retired Geezer - January 22, 2007

I wonder if the New Pony Club has any other catchy tunes.

71. composmentis - January 22, 2007

Could be, but I can’t imagine any being catchier than this.

72. harrison - January 23, 2007

This vid ROXXOR!!1!!!1!

73. BrewFan - January 23, 2007

Its very deep. What do you suppose the three hot chicks sitting on a pile of candy symbolizes? Is it an attempt to confront the post-modern view of feminity?

74. Retired Geezer - January 23, 2007

I like the way the keyboard player bumps her instrument.

Rythmically.

75. lauraw - January 23, 2007

There’s got to be a Steven Seagal joke in here somewhere.

76. Michael - January 23, 2007

Is there a way to close this thread?

77. lauraw - January 23, 2007

What’s the problem?

78. Harelipped Dog - January 23, 2007

MARKMARKMARKMARKMARKMARKMARK!!!!!

79. lauraw - January 23, 2007

I’m pretty sure you’re going to Hell, Dave.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I’ve soiled myself.

80. Dave in Texas - January 23, 2007

everybody loves that gag

81. Harelipped Dog - January 24, 2007

Not everymody, you son of a mitch!

82. Wickedpinto - January 24, 2007

Thank goodness my alcoholic stomach can’t maintain a meal for more than 6 hours, otherwise I wouldn’t have had a bucket next to my chair.

83. Dave in Texas - January 24, 2007

MARKMARKMARKMARRRRRRLLLLL

84. Dave in Texas - January 24, 2007

oops

85. compos mentis - January 25, 2007

Drink me like a liquor
C’mon and dip your dipper

You know, I’m beginning to think there might be some undertones of a sexual nature in this song.

86. Retired Geezer - January 25, 2007

You know, I’m beginning to think there might be some undertones of a sexual nature in this song.

Not really. Note the various Carousel themes.
I think those demonstrate a yearning for Lost Childhood.
Happier times when candy was cheap and plentiful.

(Note the other thread on this in which IB’ers proclaim their favorite sweets)
Not to get all Psychoanalytical on myself but I think anyone can see that my favorite candy, Ice Cubes, clearly demonstrates a need to be dominated by an Ice Princess.

Like LauraW.

87. skinbad - January 25, 2007

It’s by the new young PONY club. That’s reason enough to like it. Also reason enough to suspect it’s about nothing but sex.

88. Michael - January 25, 2007

No, skinbad, “pony” simply reinforces the “lost joys of childhood” theme that Geezer so perceptively pointed out. I really don’t see anything of a sexual nature in that song, and I’m somewhat disturbed that your mind is so clearly in the gutter with respect to these charming young ladies.

89. Retired Geezer - January 25, 2007

“pony” simply reinforces the “lost joys childhood” theme that Geezer so perceptively pointed out.

*sticks scrawny chest out proudly*

90. Bart on the couch - January 25, 2007

Speaking of psychoanalyzing,

a yearning for Lost Childhood

Why are you looking at me when you say that?

I’m constantly thinking about the past. My past.

I have vivid flashes of past events, mostly inconsequential, in my life. I suppose everyone has flashbacks, but mine seem to take me back to the event like it was yesterday.

If I were to psychoanalyze myself, I would say this:

For each year I age, time seems to move faster. And the increases in speed seem exponential. It’s scaring me and I want a time-out. I want time to stop for a little while.

I make jokes about dead celebrities, once in a while. The funny part about it is that it really bothers me. Everytime I hear of an icon, who I grew up with, die, causes me to re-evaluate my own mortality. Like sand through the hour glass, and all that.

91. Michael - January 25, 2007

Everytime I hear of an icon, who I grew up with, die, causes me to re-evaluate my own mortality. Like sand through the hour glass, and all that.

You are soooo close to turning this into another religion thread. I got eighteen Bible verses with my personal commentary lined up already.
:)

92. Retired Geezer - January 25, 2007

Like sand through the hour glass, and all that.

Uh, isn’t that something from a Soap Opera?

Not that *I* would know that.

93. Michael - January 25, 2007

We had Mrs. Michael’s Cowboy Casserole for dinner tonight. And meatloaf! Mmmmm good.

94. Lipstick - January 25, 2007

Like sand through the hourglass, so go the Days of Our Lives…

I remember my grandmother used to watch The Secret Storm. Anybody remember that?

95. lauraw - January 25, 2007

Bart, get in line.

Our bodies are made of temporary meat.
Deal with it as we have.
By shrugging, and wrinkling in a happy way.

You can’t always tell an asshole when they’re young, but you sure as Hell can peg them by their wrinkles when they’re old. Them sourpusses do get permanent, my friend.

my favorite candy, Ice Cubes, clearly demonstrates a need to be dominated by an Ice Princess.
Like LauraW

I’m not chilly at all, just a lil’ shy. Come into the igloo, and have a cup of tea while I size you up and decide what to say.

96. Bart the meat bag - January 25, 2007

That’s very comforting, lauraw. Thanks.

Hey, look, Lipstick just made a spurwing ploverism.

97. Retired Geezer - January 25, 2007

*sits on the edge of a snow cube*

I’ll have the Sleepy Time, if that’s OK.

98. Bart - January 25, 2007

And I don’t walk around with a puss on my face all depressed. I just tend be reflective. More than I’d like, to be quite honest.

99. geoff - January 26, 2007

Skip depillation for a week – that’ll take your mind off the past and let it focus on the very irritating present.

But seriously, I find that keeping a diary helps with the reflective thing. You write it down, close the book (or file, in my case) and move on. At least that’s the way it works for me. I only write something every few months, when I need to sort things out and gain perspective on where I’m going versus where I’ve been.

For day-to-day frustrations, I just go kick trolls.

100. compos mentis - January 26, 2007

And I don’t walk around with a puss on my face

Well, maybe you should. I know that would cheer me up lickity split!

101. Retired Geezer - January 26, 2007

But seriously, I find that keeping a diary helps with the reflective thing.

OK, I’ll give it a go.

Dear Diary, today it was frosty and the red-tailed hawk banged into the window while chasing after the sparrows clustered around the bird feeder. The chickens chikkins laid out in the sun and the dogs went around looking for chikkin poop. Uhhggh!!!!!! Spudder the cat killed another baby bunny. Mrs. Geezer is getting ticked about it too. Saturday night there will be a Blogger dinner in Boise. I will tell them about all my Pretend Internet Friends here at Innocent Bystanders. They will pity me.

102. harrison - January 26, 2007

When you go to your blogger dinner, tell them about this great video!
They’ll love it!

103. Retired Geezer - January 26, 2007

Most of them have already linked it.

We have gud taste in I-Dee-Ho.

104. geoff - January 26, 2007

Blogger dinner in Boise. Did you have to reserve a table for two?

105. BrewFan - January 26, 2007

Well, maybe you should. I know that would cheer me up lickity split!

groooaaaannnnn!

106. Wickedpinto - January 26, 2007

Mom?

:)

107. Retired Geezer - January 26, 2007

I think Clayton Cramer will be there.
He’s probably one of Idaho’s most popular bloggers.
Michelle Malkin even has him on *her* Blogroll.

108. Michael - January 26, 2007

Good grief. A dinner just for filthy stinkin’ spudders who blog. I’m not sure the fabric of space and time can survive a conversatiion that boring.

109. Retired Geezer - January 26, 2007

I’m not sure the fabric of space and time can survive a conversatiion that boring.

Dude, did you forget what I used to do for a living?

Here’s a photo of our last Idaho Blogger Meeting

110. compos mentis - January 26, 2007

There’s only one reason that those gorgeous gals would allow that lucky bastard in their dressing room with them like that, and it’s not the hawaiin shirt or the glasses.

He’s gay.

BrewFan, suck a fat one you comment critic ;)

111. Bart - January 26, 2007

Re: Geezer’s photo.

The girl in the forefront looks more like the Joker than the Dutch guy Ace posted about.

112. compos mentis - January 26, 2007

Theatre make-up has to be thick and bold.

You’re a classy guy Geez, otherwise I doubt they would have been comfortable taking that photo. Lucky dog. Nice tan btw.

113. RG's Sockpuppet - January 28, 2007

RG was very trustworthy.

114. harrison - January 30, 2007

I just HAD to hear it again!!

115. Anna-Lys - January 31, 2007

Very colorful, if nothing else :-)

116. lauraw - January 31, 2007

*laughing*

*holding sides and pointing at Michael*

117. Retired Geezer - January 31, 2007

Anna-Lys is a member of the Swedish Bikini Team, (but to my surprise, so is Dave in Texas).

She is on my Blogroll.

118. skinbad - January 31, 2007

Can we bump this to the top while Michael is out? Brew?

119. Anna-Lys - February 1, 2007

We can always try :-)

120. American Listening Public - February 2, 2007

I JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF IT!! THANKS!!

121. daveintexas - February 2, 2007

Speaking of which, anybody heard from Michael lately? Is he on a cruise or something?

122. BrewFan - February 2, 2007

I’m thinking rehab.

123. Dave in Texas - February 2, 2007
124. harrison - February 2, 2007

OT: Phil predicts early spring

Natch. Global Warming, ya know.

125. skinbad - February 2, 2007

Thanks for the bump! I’m going to rock out with my, um, sock out.

126. Lipstick - February 2, 2007

Global warming!!! We’re DOOMED!!!!!

127. Dave in Texas - February 2, 2007

Vegas may not be the best place to assess the GW situation, I’m thinkin

128. Phil Conners - February 2, 2007

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today.

129. Retired Geezer - February 2, 2007

Wow, not only in the Top Five Posts on Innocent Bystanders but in Sweden too!

130. Bart - February 2, 2007

The blog is not even a year old and you’re already posting re-runs.

131. Retired Geezer - February 2, 2007

Re-runs?
Dude, this is a musical celebration of Life, Joy and Babes.
Go Pluck Thyself. ;-)

132. geoff - February 2, 2007

Bart should change his moniker to EpiLad.

133. Michael - February 2, 2007

I’m just on a business trip; will get home tomorrow night. I tried to give everyone advance notice in a thread somewhere and an email to the Main Page Commenters.

134. Dave in Texas - February 2, 2007

I was on a business trip last week.

Damn it’s cold up there near where you live.

Stupid cold!

135. BrewFan - February 2, 2007

No shiite, sherlock. The forcasted *high* for Super Bowl Sunday here in the great state of Wisconsin is -1. Yikes!

136. Retired Geezer - February 2, 2007

I’m just on a business trip;

Yeah, we know. But that’s just not as funny as saying that Pony is coming back. (Return of the King)

137. Dave in Texas - February 2, 2007

I thought Pony died last week.

Who was that horsey that died?

I hope it was “Widowmaker”.

bastard horse

138. pony - February 2, 2007

pony feel much better

139. lauraw - February 2, 2007

You know, the worst part about pony was my exaggerated idea of what it must be to be a randy male (horse); it could not survive for very long once everybody knew it was a girl doing it.

The reverse-thinking just got too weird.

140. Dave in Texas - February 2, 2007

no shit

141. The Couch - February 3, 2007

I realllly missed you.

142. Anna-Lys - February 3, 2007

Are You at home now Michael?

143. The Pool Boy - February 3, 2007

*jumping over fence*

Thanks for the warning Anna-Lys.

144. Michael - February 3, 2007

Are You at home now Michael?

No, I’ll get home late tonight.

145. The Pool Boy - February 3, 2007

Andele!!!!

146. Max - February 4, 2007

kinda shotty greenscreening there at the end, but i like the song

147. Bart - February 4, 2007

The Colts are going to win by two touchdowns.

148. Bart - February 4, 2007

^
speeking of ponees.

149. Bart - February 5, 2007

The post that wouldn’t die.

150. Retired Geezer - February 5, 2007

The Colts are going to win by two touchdowns.

Nice prediction, Bart. Close enough.

151. Bart - February 6, 2007

Yeah, if they didn’t flub the extra-point, I would have been closer.

152. BrewFan - February 6, 2007

When was this video made? It seems so hip*. So now*.

*Lets be honest; I wouldn’t know hip or ‘now’ if they bit me in the ass and shook my hand.

153. Retired Geezer - February 6, 2007

I wouldn’t know hip or ‘now’ if they bit me in the ass and shook my hand.

That’s just incorrect.
You are the Founder of Blog Wisconsin, which as far as I know holds the record for the most posts and a comment thread lasting OVER A YEAR.

Take that Instapundit.

154. Hank Hill - February 6, 2007

Yep.

155. BrewFan - February 6, 2007

You are the Founder of Blog Wisconsin

Can you spell legacy?

156. Brett F - February 6, 2007

I can.

It’s spelled r-e-t-i-r-e n-o-w b-e-f-o-r-e y-o-u p-l-a-y y-o-u-r w-a-y o-u-t o-f t-h-e H-a-l-l O-f F-a-m-e.

157. compos mentis - February 7, 2007

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?”
“No,” he replied, “Arthritis.”

158. Paul Simon - February 9, 2007

Slip slidin’ awayyyy

159. Retired Geezer - February 9, 2007

Hey Compos, did you know where Paul Simon got his inspiration for one of his songs, “Mother and Child Reunion”?

160. Patton - February 9, 2007

re: The video, via Michael’s helpful link @Ace’s

Unspeakably foul, but thanks for the effort. Yeesh – she’s got all the tonal control of Madeline Khan in Blazing Saddles.

161. steve_in_hb - February 9, 2007

Hey Patton –

Lay off Lilly – she inspired a whoel subclass of porn.

Lili Von Shtupp: Is it true how zey say zat you people are… gifted?
[Lights go out, sound of zipper opening]
Lili Von Shtupp: Oh. It’s twue. It’s twue. It’s twue, it’s twue!

162. Lipstick - February 9, 2007

I’m so tired,
Tired of being admired. . .

163. steve_in_hb - February 9, 2007

I’ve been with 1000’s of men
Again and again
They promise the moon
They always coming and going
Going and coming
And always too soon
Right girls?

164. BrewFan - February 10, 2007

Geezer, we’re waiting…

165. Retired Geezer - February 10, 2007

Hey Compos, did you know where Paul Simon got his inspiration for one of his songs, …

Ooops, sorry.
Here’s the story. Paul Simon went into a Chinese restaurant and was reading the menu.
He was struck by the poetry of one of the dishes.
A Chicken and Egg delicacy called:
“Mother and Child Reunion”

That just makes me smile.

166. BrewFan - February 10, 2007

Thanks :)

167. Retired Geezer - February 12, 2007

I gotta remember how to do YouTube so I can post video of me Dancing onstage in Las Vegas with Showgirls.

I could be Famous.

I posted a little video of my Granddaughter accidentally shooting powerful shotgun loads, less than 6 months ago, and it’s received over 15,000 hits already.

168. Dave in Texas - February 12, 2007

Did you warn that kid? Jeez those things must have left a mark.

169. Retired Geezer - February 12, 2007

It was as much a surprise to me as it was to her. She made the mistake of picking up the empty hulls and putting them in her ammo belt. They looked OK to her until she pulled one out to load into the breech.
I handed her a couple of the low-recoil loads but the guy running the timer handed her some of his hi-base loads.
I definately like the way she hunkers down and leans into it after the first hot load.
Still pushes her back quite a bit though.

Yeah, she had a bruise but she cowboy’d up and finished the next 3 days and actually Won the Junior Top-Gun Shootout.

170. harrison - February 13, 2007

We

171. harrison - February 13, 2007

Must

172. harrison - February 13, 2007

Not

173. harrison - February 13, 2007

Let

174. harrison - February 13, 2007

This

175. harrison - February 13, 2007

Post

176. harrison - February 13, 2007

Fade

177. harrison - February 13, 2007

Away!

178. Retired Geezer - February 13, 2007

Not Fade Away?

Wasn’t that an old Buddy Holly tune?

179. BrewFan - February 13, 2007

Did you know Buddy Holly died in Wisconsin?

180. BrewFan - February 13, 2007

OK, *technically* the plane crash was in Iowa but Iowa is a suburb of Wisconsin so thats how I arrived at my conclusion.

181. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

Ooh! It’s back in the Top Posts list!

Movin’ on up!

182. Dave in Texas - February 13, 2007

It’s been a while and some of you retards are new here, so if you want to read one of Ernie Pyle’s most beloved stories, here you go.

http://www.pbs.org/weta/reportingamericaatwar/reporters/pyle/waskow.html

Captain Henry T. Waskow was from Belton Texas, just a piece down the road from me. There is a school named after him. I didn’t know who he was until I read this a few years ago.

183. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

Touching story. Ernie Pyle was born just a piece up the road from me. It really is a small world.

184. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

Whoops. Clicked the wrong link. Again :)

185. Retired Geezer - February 13, 2007

just a piece down the road from me.
was born just a piece up the road from me.

I’ve been meaning to write a post for a couple of weeks about the whole up/down phenomenon. I’ll try it out on you anal retentive fine scholars.

We moved from Vegas up to Idaho. We go down to visit our grandkids in California.

Is this a Guy Thing?
Doesn’t Up = North?
I think there may be special dispensations granted for differences in altitude.
“Skinbad drove his family from Salt Lake up to Park City for some powder skiing.”
Park City is East of SLC but higher in altitude therefore an exception is granted.
When speaking of East and West, doesn’t the term “over” apply.
“I drove Mrs. Geezer over to Seattle to eat Oyster Shooters.
Even though Seattle is lower in altitude than the Spud State, it feels odd to say “We’re going down to Seattle”.
There may, however, be other factors in play here. We sometimes drive to the community of Emmett, Idaho. It’s directly North of us but we have to drive over a little mountain to get there. We never say “We’re going up to Emmett, we always say “over”.

Well, that’s kind of my outline. What’s your thoughts?

186. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

I think you have way too much free time Geezer.

Seriously, North means up, south means down. Anyone who uses up to head south is deserving of a smack on the forehead. And yes, it’s a guy thing, since most women have no sense of direction. That’s why they had to stick close to the cave and pick berries and nuts instead of hunting, so they wouldn’t get lost. And/or eaten.

187. CroMagnon woman - February 13, 2007

*the bird*

188. Dave in Texas - February 13, 2007

Yes, N=up, S=down. No brainer.

Want to have some fun today? Ask 10 men to point in the direction of north. Bet you 8 outta 10 get it right.

Now go ask 10 women.

Stir. Enjoy.

189. skinbad - February 13, 2007

I agree with R.G.’s thesis–with the caveat that anytime you leave a suburb and go into the city you are going “downtown.”

“Uptown” is just too ghey for words.

190. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

Unless you’re going to Manhattan.

191. skinbad - February 13, 2007

Most women would get it right here, Dave. They know they go “up north” to go shopping in Provo. Asking if they can point to the direction they go to spend money is like asking a bird dog to point–it just comes natural.

Also, the big, close mountains are east, the farther away mountains are west. If it’s a cloudy day, I don’t know how you flatlanders manage.

192. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

Actually, my wife’s really good with knowing directions. She’s a mid-west farmer’s daughter.

193. Dave in Texas - February 13, 2007

I should have added a codicil.

First ask them to point north.

Then ask them to point toward the mall.

Anecdotal evidence – last time I did this I got 20% women pointing to the correct north (one woman, I swear to God, pointed straight up in the air), and 80% on “point to the mall”.

194. Retired Geezer - February 13, 2007

“Uptown” is just too ghey for words.

Yeah, but what about that Ace Troll Downtown Lad?
Special dispensation I’m thinking.

195. skinbad - February 13, 2007

I’m with you R.G.

Think of former NBA bomber “Downtown” Freddy Brown.

“Uptown” Freddy Brown? Not on your life.

196. geoff - February 13, 2007

Up is North except when near the mountains, where it is West (if you live where I do). Once you get close to places with significant elevation changes, “up” takes on its normal meaning.

197. Dave in Texas - February 13, 2007

Agreed, uptown is really a manhattan word.

And a manhattan is also bourbon and vermouth.

Watch out for those, they are ass kickers

198. Retired Geezer - February 13, 2007

OT (but what isn’t?)
I just noticed an airplane doing a racetrack pattern out my window. I went out and took some photos of it.
Looked like he was trying to dump some fuel before making an emergency landing.
I called the news and they said it was because Boise was fogged in.
Kind of surprising because we have Extreme Clear visability out here now. We had dense fog this morning though.

Oh, you want to see some pictures?

The TV station wanted me to send them the pictures. I’ll let you know if they get on the air.

199. Michael - February 13, 2007

At the moment, this post has gotten over 2,580 hits.

200. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

And 200 comments.

201. compos mentis - February 13, 2007

Anybody going to play this song for their sweety tomorrow. It’s VD day doncha know.

202. Rosetta - February 13, 2007

This songs sucks.

On the other hand, it has a shit load of cowbell.

In summary, one of the best songs ever.

i-Tunes has a playlist on the site with the best 75 songs ever with cowbell. It’s pretty funny.

203. Michael - February 13, 2007

This song sucks.

Rosetta, you are being duped. The best song ever posted on this site was not Geezer’s lame submission here. It was Barbie Girl!!!

(Scroll down past the contest rules for the video.)

204. Michael - February 13, 2007

That video represents the most creative use of electrician’s tape that has ever occurred on this planet.

205. compos mentis - February 14, 2007

This song sucks.

Oh yeah! Well . . . then why is it that this post has remained in the Top Posts list for so damned long then huh? De gustibus non est disbutandem and all that my lesbiantastically monickered amigo.

206. lauraw - February 14, 2007

I found a message in my work email from someone named Rosetta F. and almost plotzed ‘How did he get this address??’

But no, it was Rosetta, the receptionist gal at my hairdresser. I’m thinking of getting the paraffin hand treatment.

207. daveintexas - February 14, 2007

Is that anything like the Aunt Jemima treatment?

208. skinbad - February 14, 2007

AC/DC was having a lot of trouble trying to make “Whole lot of Rosetta” sound good. They had to compromise. I saw it on VH1.

209. Bart - February 14, 2007

RG, I just went over to mueart and I noticed a piece of artwork by Ana Lys.

It’s a vagina, right?

210. Bart - February 14, 2007

I have a question for Hay Zeus.

Remember when the America’s cup became really popular in the early ’90’s? What happened to it?

I never hear boo about it anymore.

(Remember the guy, Dennis?, with those ridiculous looking lips?)

211. Retired Geezer - February 14, 2007

It’s a vagina, right?

That’s what DinT and I thought… Mrs. G said the same thing.

Tunnel o’ Love.

212. compos mentis - February 14, 2007

I have always been taught that the more you read, the more knowledgable you will become. After reading some of the posts in this thread, I’m not so sure that’s true.

213. Dave in Texas - February 14, 2007

Oh man did she ever jump my shit for pointing that out.

Like it ain’t obvious. Georgia O’Keefe, hel-looo?

214. lauraw - February 14, 2007

It’s a vagina, right?

***holding sides, laughing my ass off**

Oh Bart, Bart, Barty Bartster. You slay me.

215. compos mentis - February 14, 2007

Where may I view this art?

216. Bart - February 14, 2007

It’s from a link in RG’s comment in the Attention post.

217. Michael - February 14, 2007

Or just click on Ana-Lys’ name when she comments and scroll down until you find the most pooterific painting you’ve ever seen.

218. compos mentis - February 14, 2007

Tunnel of Enigmas eh? Yep, that’s a vag alright. Speaking of clam dams, I give you . . . wait, I’ll make it a new post.

219. composmentis - February 15, 2007

Sure is quiet in here today.

220. Retired Geezer - February 15, 2007

Sure is Quiet in here today

Maybe we can get another Q meme going.

221. wiserbud - February 15, 2007

that’d be qwazy!

222. harrison - February 15, 2007

Sure is quiet in here today.

Yeah. Too quiet.

223. kevlarchick - February 15, 2007

lauraw, do the paraffin thing! Hot wax, hand wrap, and all that scaly winter skin melts away. Heaven.

224. Dave in Texas - February 15, 2007

OK, I just want to learn here.

What is the “paraffin thing”?

It sounds, unpleasant. Paraffin is like, a waxy oil thing that burns. Do I have that right? Is it like lighting a pile of gunpowder?

225. composmentis - February 15, 2007

lol Dave.

226. skinbad - February 15, 2007

paraffin: (n) flightless seabird.

227. composmentis - February 15, 2007

Aren’t you thinking of a puffin?

*alright, I just farted and it smells like guts. I better go check to make sure my large intestine didn’t fall out.*

228. Bart - February 15, 2007

Hay Zeus never answered my question.

I have another question.

How does Steven Hawking spend most of his time?
I suspect he surfs the net for prOn almost all day long.

229. compos mentis - February 16, 2007

It’s going to be sad when this thread slips into obscurity.

230. lauraw - February 16, 2007

I know KC. I heard that your skin feels like softy soft baby skin after the treatment. In this bitter weather my hands are starting to look pretty rough even with moisturizer and gloves.

231. Dave in Texas - February 16, 2007

I don’t know about this paraffin thing (because nobody’s given me the four eleven yet!), but my skin was rough, blackened, and partially hair free after the gunpowder incident.

232. geoff - February 16, 2007

my skin was rough, blackened, and partially hair free

…but chicks dig that.

233. Dave in Texas - February 16, 2007

well yeah, s’why I still do it.

234. lauraw - February 16, 2007

Dave, you get a nice manicure and a hand massage (lovely!) and they dip your whole hand in melted paraffin wax. Then they wrap it up and you kind of stew for a while.

When they pull off the paraffin, your hands are silky soft and beautiful. I don’t know how long they stay that way, but I have to try it. Sounds therapeutic. I already know that I like hand massage.

Best part of a manicure.

235. daveintexas - February 16, 2007

Really?

That sounds nice.

You know anybody down here that does that?

Oh wait, Mrs. Dave says Body Works does these…

*calling*

236. daveintexas - February 16, 2007

I think I shall have a paraffin treatment at 1:45 CST.

Perhaps my feet as well. I don’t know, we’ll see.

Consider it a scientific experiment. I am curious.

Yes I am.

237. geoff - February 16, 2007

Um…Dave? With this following so closely on the heels of your Sports Illustrated confession, well, um…I’m developing a mild concern here.

Maybe the wife and daughters have finally worn you down. I recommend an immediate dose of guy-type video and replacing the martinis with beer.

If things get ultra-dire, read a Gor book.

238. compos mentis - February 16, 2007

It’s finally happened. All the estrogen in DinT’s house has finally osmosized into his skull. Pretty soon he’ll be getting $100 perms and discussing Oprah with the women at the boutique.

So, which color of ink you going to use to track your own cycle Davina?

239. Dave in Texas - February 16, 2007

I’m not listening to you brutes.

I’m going to go have my hands and feet pampered.

Then I’m going to go out to the range and run 300 rounds through my SKS commie assault weapon.

240. Retired Geezer - February 16, 2007

I’d sure like to see that “Wacky Aunt” magazine again.

I didn’t get my issue this month.

Ooops, I guess that could be taken a different way.

241. kevlarchick - February 16, 2007

Dave your hands and feet will be very oily when you’re done. Those are natural and healthy oils, of course. Just consider that when you’re handling the metal.

242. Bart - February 16, 2007

How do you all feel about guys with beards w/no mustache?

Quite frankly, I do not like them.

243. lauraw - February 16, 2007

The beard you are describing is the Amish look and my humble opinion is that it’s ridiculous.

But then again I don’t like most facial hair, except for a neatly kept moustache.

244. Michael - February 16, 2007

But then again I don’t like most facial hair, except for a neatly kept moustache.

What about my nose hair? Any exception for that?

245. lauraw - February 16, 2007

I suppose if it were trimmed into a tasteful topiary shape, that would be OK.

246. skinbad - February 16, 2007

How do you all feel about guys with beards w/no mustache?

If the beard is mostly under the jaw, the scientific name is a “Bork.”

Research shows cats don’t care for them at all.

http://www.sree.net/stories/feline.html

247. Bart - February 16, 2007

Yes, but I axed how you feel about the person who is sporting that type of beard, not the beard itself.

248. Tim Hardaway - February 16, 2007

I hate them.

249. lauraw - February 16, 2007

Guess I would have to say then that I dislike them unless they are legitimately Amish.

250. Dave in Texas - February 16, 2007

lauraw,

go get the paraffin treatment.

trust a brotha.

251. Scotty - February 16, 2007

Captain! Sensors have detected a spike in estrogen levels in this thread!

252. lauraw - February 16, 2007

You did not.

253. Michael - February 16, 2007

I suppose if it were trimmed into a tasteful topiary shape, that would be OK.

Too much work. I just braid it.

254. Dave in Texas - February 16, 2007

Oh I did too.

Wore my boots and cowboy hat to the spa.

And it was fabulous.

255. BrewFan - February 16, 2007

Did you ask them to play ‘Love Shack’ while you got your nails done?

256. geoff - February 16, 2007

I think we need to put together a testosterone care package.

257. lauraw - February 16, 2007

I don’t care to know what is in the package or how it is administered.

So are your hands lovely and refreshed? Do you feel pretty?

258. Dave in Texas - February 16, 2007

I feel pretty.

Oh so pretty.

I feel pretty, and witty, and,

pretty darn good.

259. Retired Geezer - February 16, 2007

I feel pretty.

OK, now quit biting your nails.

260. geoff - February 16, 2007

The rose goes in front, big guy.

261. lauraw - February 17, 2007

Ha!

262. Dave in Texas - February 17, 2007

That might be one of the funniest lines from a film ever.

263. lauraw - February 17, 2007

“Those aren’t pillows!”

-Planes, Trains, And Automobiles

264. Bart - February 17, 2007

So this afternoon I went to the tanning place.

When I walked in a little girl (who was there waiting for her mom to tan) said, “Don’t go in 1 or 3.”

I said, “Okay.”

She said, “My Barbies are in there. Barbie is in 1 and Ken is in 3.”

By this time, the girl who works there came around the corner and giggled, “She has her Barbies tanning,” and proceeded to show me.
Sure enough, there they were, Barbie in bed #1 and Ken in bed #3.

The little girl had originally placed Ken in booth #7, but when the girl who works there saw me pulling up to the store, she moved Ken to bed #3. Which makes sense, because she knew that I wouldn’t want to tan with Ken in #7.

And when I was shown the dolls tanning, the little girl was slightly miffed and instructed me and the employee that we should “knock first” before going into the rooms.

265. Bart - February 17, 2007

*click

RG left the light on again.

266. compos mentis - February 17, 2007

Wore my boots and cowboy hat to the spa.

Jesus Fucking Brokeback Mountain Christ.

267. Retired Geezer - February 18, 2007

I bet he drove his Chevy to the Levee too.

268. Bart - February 18, 2007

This one time, in Jujitsu class, a group of us were all gathered around the Sensei while he explained a move to us. The Sensei, out of nowhere, smacked one of the higher ranks across the face.

The Sensie always reminded us to keep up our hands. He said, “Keep your hands up,” to the shocked student. The rest of us raised our hands.

Lesson: Keep your hands up. Always be ready for a strike. Keep your hands up.

269. Mr. Miyagi - February 18, 2007

Keep your reg up!

270. Bart - February 19, 2007

Who needs new posts when you have this?

271. Retired Geezer - February 19, 2007

Good point, Bart.
I’m risking bandwidth overload with this but I figure only the regulars check out this thread anyway.

Vermin on the Roof

272. Lipstick - February 19, 2007

heh heh. Good one RG.

273. harrison - February 19, 2007

Peace through superior firepower.

274. Bart - February 19, 2007

I remember that show (and by definition, that means that spurwing plover also remembers that show) and it was great. Sort of a Police Squad type of sitcom.

275. Bart - February 20, 2007

They already started selling Peeps at the supermarket.

276. Yellow Smooshy Thing - February 20, 2007

*Peep*

277. The Comish (sic) - February 20, 2007

I’ve always hated Peeps. Cadbury Cream Eggs, on the other hand….

278. Bart - February 20, 2007

I never liked peeps, either. But it would bother me if they stopped making them.

279. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

Did you ever see that “Peep experiments” page?
I posted it on my moronblog a year or two ago.

280. sandy burger - February 21, 2007

I finally watched that video, and now a few of your comments actually make some sense.

281. Bart - February 21, 2007

Easter is like only ten weeks away, you should re-post the peeps thing.

Pretty soon we’ll be decorating for Christmas.

282. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

OK, done.
Just click on my name.
It’s pretty funny because it treats the whole thing very seriously.
I like the Quintuplet Conjoined Peeps.

283. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

Peeps.

Better living through chemistry.

284. compos mentis - February 21, 2007

I used to love Peeps, especially the rabbits. A three bite process: first the ears, then the head, then the body. Or just stuff the whole damned thing in yer mouth and wait for the sugar rush.

Also, reminds me of this.

285. lauraw - February 21, 2007

they’re better if you let them dry out a little bit.

286. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

Newsflash: Hidden camera reveals clandestine meeting in Vegas with KevlarChick and Lipstick.

SFW

287. compos mentis - February 21, 2007

I’ve seen that RG. I hope she’s alright. Don’t know what they’re standing on, but it sounds like wood when her head thumps against it. Video cameras have definitely made a lot of today’s youth even dumber than they already would have been.

288. lauraw - February 21, 2007

So glad nobody filmed all the stupid shit we did when we were kids.

Though I’d love to have seen Little DinT discovering the true nature of gunpowder.

289. kevlarchick - February 21, 2007

No joy on the link, Geezer.

Thank god.

290. wiserbud - February 21, 2007

KevlarChick and Lipstick.

SFW

Really? Then why bother?

291. Bart - February 21, 2007

Purple peeps are unnatural. They should all be yellow.

Does Ana-Lys(terine) even know what a Peep is?

Europeons simply can’t appreciate the wholesome goodness of everything peep.

292. Pupster - February 21, 2007

RG,
Your link made me do a spit take.

Well done.

293. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

LOL RG!

294. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

I could have invented Jackass.

295. the peeps - February 21, 2007

Post is currently at #2 and climbing.

Peeps.

Is there anything they can’t do?

296. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

The more I re-read the Peep post, the more I appreciated the work that went into it. Those people had to be real doctors judging from the language they used.

Love the Conjoined Quintuplet Peep operation.

297. compos mentis - February 22, 2007

I could have invented Jackass.

You’re mom and dad took care of that.

Ha! See what I did there?? See? I made a joke at your expense using your comment as the set up. Keep pitching ‘em underhanded and right down the middle parrafin boy.

298. Dave in Texas - February 22, 2007

I think you meant “your”, not “you’re”.

STEEEEE-RIKE ONE!

299. composmentis - February 22, 2007

Well POOP!

300. Dave in Texas - February 22, 2007

eh heh heh heh

301. Pupster - February 22, 2007

It’s hard to take a victory lap with your pants around your ankles.

Not impossible, just hard.

302. composmentis - February 23, 2007

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”

The grasshopper replies, “You have a drink called Larry?”

303. Retired Geezer - February 23, 2007

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”.
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

304. composmentis - February 23, 2007

Three gay men are holding the cremains of their former, respective lovers and discussing what they plan to do with them.

“My beloved Franklin simply loved the ocean, so I’m making a special trip to the Bahamas so I can scatter his ashes into the beautiful water there.” says the first.

The second adds, “My Armonde was a great downhill skier, so I’m going to Aspen so I can release his ashes into the pure white snow there.”

The third lisps, “Well my Stephen was such a fantastic lover. I’m going to dump his ashes into a pot of jalepeño chili so he can tear my ass up just one more time!”

305. composmentis - February 23, 2007

Sheesh! I tell one gay joke and the place empties out faster than my bowels at a soccer game. Where is everybody?

306. Michael Richards - February 23, 2007

Sheesh! I tell one gay joke and the place empties out faster than my bowels at a soccer game. Where is everybody?

Tell me about it.

307. kevlarchick - February 23, 2007

I’m here compos dear.

308. Retired Geezer - February 23, 2007

I can’t vouch for the rest of them but Dave and I are treating Bart to a paraffin treatment today.

309. Lipstick - February 23, 2007

I’m here. My internet connection has been Tango Uniform lately.

Just put a big piece of beef in the Crock Pot, so dinner is taken care of. Yes, you’re all thrilled at that news I’ll bet. . .

310. wiserbud - February 23, 2007

One advantage of the gay jokes is that they seem to keep Rosetta at bay.

311. composmentis - February 23, 2007

Mmmmm . . . beef. Sounds good lipstick. Carrots and taters? Maybe some hard rolls or sourdough bread?

Hi kc. What ya up to?

RG, I’m sure Bart appreciates it. Giving him a coffee enema too?

wiser, do you think Rosetta is actually Bart’s alter ego?

312. Lipstick - February 23, 2007

The beef is flying solo this time, I’m out of carrots and taters. Guess it’s Velveeta and shells for the side. (White Trash Side Dish, heh)

Just beef, beef broth, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, dry onion soup mix, paprika, ground pepper, garlic powder, a hint of curry, and Italian seasoning. Last time it was dull, so I added a bit of powdered red pepper from Basque Country.

Bam!

313. geoff - February 23, 2007

Crock Pot

Crock Pot. Hmmm. Crock Pot. (shrugs)

I think you’re taking the military alphabet thing a little too far.

314. Lipstick - February 23, 2007

It’s for cooking — you know, that stuff your wife does while you study thermo-particles-transference. And stuff.

315. Retired Geezer - February 23, 2007

Hey Site Admin, my latest Blog Pimp slid into the Spam Bucket.

316. harrison - February 23, 2007

Maybe it’s a hint…

317. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2007

Here’s a NSFW blog pimp.

Dude gets bitten in the crotch by a Police Dog (supposedly).

318. Retired Geezer - February 24, 2007

I would have just posted it here, but we *do* have standards.

319. cm - February 27, 2007

He can’t give her what she wants
He can’t make her heart beat short
He can’t make her ice cream
They could be a sweet team
Geezer was in kc’s dream. Boy!!

He could be the sauce she craves
But he had to go rake hay
Deep Purpled love theme
Blackmoore’s axe and black jeans
Three hot sisters ready to play!

They can give him what he likes
Pink flamingos, feral cats, oh my.
But his horses are sick
Instead of uglies bumps fists
Leaves the sisters high and dry

He can give them what they want
Richie Blackmoore’s fanny is real taunt
What’s the rest of kc’sdream?
Sick like Syd and Nancy?
Wicked as a joy ride jaunt?

What you want.
Geez can’t give you what u want

320. Retired Geezer - February 27, 2007

*blushes*

Aw shucks.

321. BrewFan - February 27, 2007

Compos, thats worth a post of its own!

322. Bart - February 28, 2007

Is this the end?

323. Bart - February 28, 2007

It appears so, Bart.

Bart, why don’t you take us out with your usually choice of the right music video for the right thread at the right time?

Dig it (I know you will):

324. geoff - March 1, 2007

Is this the end? …or just the beginning?

Naw, it’s the end.

Firesign Theater

325. Jim Morrison - March 1, 2007

This is the end, my friend

326. Retired Geezer - March 5, 2007

This is the end, my friend

Eff that, Jimbo. You’re just pissed because you got buried in Fwance and all the Tarts rub their coochies on your tomb.

327. skinbad - March 5, 2007

Damn, R.G. That’s just about Ploverian.

. . . got buried in FWANCE and all the TARTS rub their COOCHIES on your tomb. SQUAAARK!!!!

328. daveintexas - March 5, 2007

Jimbo?

329. Retired Geezer - March 5, 2007

Thanks Skinny…
Usually True Genius is not recognized until after death.

330. Retired Geezer - March 5, 2007

Jimbo?

Oops, I slipped and revealed my close personal relationship with Jim Morrison. Kind of like you and the Wolverine.

331. Lipstick - March 5, 2007

Ploverian! lol! Good one Skinbad.

332. daveintexas - March 5, 2007

what’s a coochie?

333. compos mentis - March 5, 2007

what’s a coochie?

It’s a growth you get when you’ve had too many pedicures and parrafin treatments.

334. lauraw - March 5, 2007

Hunh? I thought it was a kind of pastry.

335. lauraw - March 5, 2007

“I’ll have a coffee, a bear claw, and…Oooh! Gimme that last cooch over there. That fresh?”

336. Russ from Winterset - March 5, 2007

“That fresh”?

If you have to ask, then obviously your……..oh nevermind.

337. composmentis - March 5, 2007

I thought it was a kind of pastry.

lw, sometimes there’s yeast involved. But then, you probably don’t want to eat it.

338. Pupster - March 5, 2007

Sorry if it’s already been brought up, but did you guys see this commercial?

339. Retired Geezer - March 5, 2007

Pupster, thanks for linking that commercial.
What a Coincidence!
I think that might even be the same Band!

340. Bart - March 6, 2007

Have you ever just been going about your bisness and you hear a song, a song that perfectly fits the mood you’re in at that exact moment in your life? And when you hear the song, you stop what you’re doing and enjoy the moment.

It’s a moment of tranquility, refelction, and perfection. Tonight I had one of those moments.

Ignore the video. Just listen to the music. The piano in the beginning will mesmerize you.

(The artist is Metisse. I dig her. She’s like the new Enya.)

341. Bart - March 6, 2007

A boom boom bâ
A boom boom bâ
A boom boom bâ
A boom boom bâ

Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou

A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Are my dreams to be all I can do?
Lay o lay above, lay o lay below
And he said Annie will show them a new way
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou

A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Are my dreams to be all I can do?
Lay o lay above, lay o lay below
And he said Annie will show them a new way
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou

A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê

Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou

A boom boom bâ
Aligna donguiri ma digné
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé for a y bâmê
A boom boom bâ
Aligna donguiri ma digné hé !
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé for a y bâmê

Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou …

342. George Bush - March 6, 2007

I decide when this post will die. I am the decider.

343. Retired Geezer - March 7, 2007

Have you ever just been going about your bisness and you hear a song, a song that perfectly fits the mood you’re in at that exact moment in your life?

Yes, yes I have.
Usually for me it’s that song by the New Young Pony Club.
That was a mellow song, Bart. Kind of reminds me of Enigma

I’m just guessing at these, but they *could* be true:

Lipstick – Popsicle Toes – Michael Franks.
Mrs. Peel – White and Nerdy – Weird Al Yankovick
Dave – Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd
Sobek – Theme from Crocodile Hunter
WP – Highway to Hell

Any Others?

344. Bart - March 7, 2007

Gregorian chant music was hip for a little while, a few years back.

Yes, mellow is the key for me. My moments of serendipity only happen late at night when my head is spinning from the day’s events.

345. Bart - March 7, 2007

This works, too.

346. Bart - March 8, 2007

And this.

347. da peeps - March 9, 2007

(Back to #2)

Yellow Peeps
Purple Peeps
Pink Peeps

348. Retired Geezer - March 10, 2007

One horned, one eyed, flying purple PEEP eater.

349. Big Navel Lobby PSA - March 11, 2007

When’s the last time you cleaned your belly buttons?

350. Retired Geezer - March 12, 2007

350. hah!

351. Pupster - March 14, 2007

A prostitute walks into a bar and spies a middle-aged gentleman drinking alone. She plops down beside him, leans in close to his ear and whispers,” I’ll do anything you want for two-hundred dollars…”

He looks her over, pulls $200 out of his wallet and says,” Paint my house.”

352. Retired Geezer - March 14, 2007

Blonde answers an ad to paint a porch for $200. The wife asks the husband, “Does she know that the porch wraps all the way around the house to the back?”
Blonde finishes in about an hour and comes to the front door.
“I finished painting but it’s not a porch, it’s a Lexus.”

Try the veal.

353. Retired Geezer - March 17, 2007

Innocent Bystanders Action Alert:
Buggered by Batman

Last year, there was widespread fear in Zanzibar concerning the return of the popobawa, a dwarf with a Cyclops eye, small pointed ears, bat wings and talons, notorious for swooping into houses and raping men. The name is derived from the Swahili words for bat and wing.

354. Bart - March 25, 2007

What do you think about speed reading? Is it possible?

Remember the informercials with the people moving their hand down a page in a book really fast and reading a page in about 5 seconds? I think it’s all bullcrap. There’s no way to accurately comprehend written material without at least carefully reading every word.

I wish I could read faster. I’m a very slow reader.

355. Evelyn Wood - March 26, 2007

Moron.

356. Bart - March 26, 2007

Evelyn, you bitchhhh, do you not know who I am?

Your speed-reading tutorial is a sham.

From what I’ve read, the do’s and don’ts of reading are:
Do widen your field of vision and try to look at large groups of words at a time.
Do use your eyes like a camera and take a photographs of the page.
Don’t sound-out each word in your head.

Crap. I always say each word in my head as I read them; it helps me put the words in proper context.

357. Michael - March 26, 2007

Try to stop moving your lips, Bart.

358. Bart - March 26, 2007

I tried that.

It doesn’t help.

Jerk.

359. Bart - March 26, 2007

Oh, and I’m part Sicilianio, so my hands move, too.

That’s pronounced, See-chee-leee-ah-noh, btw.

360. Retired Geezer - March 26, 2007

When I speed-read, I only move my eyes.

I tried keeping my eyes straight ahead and just moving my head but it hurt my neck.

Plus I’m almost certain I looked like a doofus.

361. Asshole - March 26, 2007

Just out of curiosity, what ethnic origin is the other half, Bart?

362. lauraw - March 26, 2007

Ohhh nuts

363. Bart - March 26, 2007

Vulcan.

364. lauraw - March 26, 2007

Ah. Polish, eh?

365. BrewFan - March 26, 2007

Q: How do you tell the groom at a Polish wedding?*

A: He’s the one in the clean bowling shirt

*Being from Milwaukee gives me an implied license to tell Polish jokes. This is the home of the Polish Moon afterall.

366. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

I just watched the worst movie ever made.

“Napoleon, like anyone could even know that”.

No Really!

We just watched “Blowup”, from 1966.
Worst piece of pretentious crap ever.
Won some awards, even.

It had Mimes for crying out loud.

Worst. Movie. Ever.

367. sandy burger - March 27, 2007

I have a relative who reads very quickly. It’s impressive. I doubt it’s something that can be learned, though; she’s been that way since she started reading as a child.

368. Mrs. Peel - March 27, 2007

Half-Blood Prince, under 3 hours. ‘Nuff said.

Time for work.

369. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

Any movie that opens up with a dozen Mimes hanging all over a jeep that’s speeding around the city, whooping and hollering and banging on the jeep, can’t be good.

Any movie that ends with a dozen Mimes playing a ‘pretend’ tennis match for an audience of one, can’t be good.

Any movie that has *both* elements, sucks big time.

And just so you know that I’m not a hater toward English movies, we watched Little Voice the other night on Satellite and it was pretty good. I highly recommend it.

Anyone else have any comments on Blow-Up or Little Voice or The Half-Blood Prince?

370. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

I rented the new Bond movie. The suckitude factor was high.

371. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

The suckitude factor was high.

Aw crap. I just rented it last night but we haven’t watched it yet.

372. Sobek - March 27, 2007

One of these days I’ll get around to reading the comments to this post. One of these days.

373. lauraw - March 27, 2007

Just read #12 and #13.

374. lauraw - March 27, 2007

#45’s a keeper too

375. lauraw - March 27, 2007

157
302, 303

How interested in the development of the paraffin hand treatment meme are you?

Would you like to see some scientific experiments performed on marshmallow peeps?

376. Sobek - March 27, 2007

Working my way through, I see some discussion about north = up and south = down.

I was arguing with a guy about Hebrew influence and migrations into Egypt during the time of the patriarchs, and I quoted from a book to prove a point I was trying to make. The quote said something about Hebrews in lower Egypt, and the other guy jumped on that and said something like “ah hah! We’re talking about northern Egypt!”

Of course, upper Egypt is actually the south, which is why the Nile flows into the Mediterranean instead of the Med flowing into the Nile. I used his natural man-instincts against him — it was like judo.

377. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

I used his natural man-instincts against him

That’s how all the Wimmins at DinT’s house maintain control.

378. skinbad - March 27, 2007

I was arguing with a guy about Hebrew influence and migrations into Egypt during the time of the patriarchs

Hell, who hasn’t?

379. Sobek - March 27, 2007

Done. Man, we’re a bunch of lunatics. I need to stop hanging out here.

380. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

Aw crap. I just rented it last night but we haven’t watched it yet.

It was the love scenes that made us gag. Mr. LS summed it up in an email:

“When will you let me in?” “You have your armor up again.” “Just hold me… waaaah!” Lesbian relationship- and both chicks were ugly…

381. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

But I think Daniel Craig has the makings of a good, tough Bond.

Plus he has a hot bod.

382. Michael - March 27, 2007

I just watched “Blood Diamond” — the civil war in Sierra Leone. It’s good. You have to ignore the typical irrational Hollywood cant about how Western consumerism results in third world misery. Otherwise, it’s a really good movie.

383. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

You have to ignore the typical irrational Hollywood cant about how Western consumerism results in third world misery.

We just got back from seeing “Shooter”, same deal.

Point of Impact is the Excellent book by Stephen Hunter, from which the movie is based. I highly recommend *any* of his books. Even Mrs. Geezer liked the book (and the movie).

384. Bart - March 27, 2007

Test your liguistics skills.
Without using a translator or smoogle, translate the following:

Latin
In principio creavit Deus caelum et terram

Portuguese
No princípio criou Deus o céu e a terra

Spanish
En el principio creó Dios el cielo y la tierra

French
Au commencement Dieu créa le ciel et la terre

Italian
In principio Dio creò il cielo e la terra

385. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.

Is that right?

386. Dave in Texas - March 27, 2007

Manicure and parrafin scheduled for Friday at 3:30 CDT

387. Michael - March 27, 2007

Manicure and parrafin scheduled for Friday at 3:30 CDT

No Dave, I don’t think you’ve correctly translated Bart’s sentence. Lipstick is probably closer to getting it.

388. Dave in Texas - March 27, 2007

Yep.

389. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

Saw some good trailers at the movies today. We’re looking forward to seeing:

Live Free or Die Hard. – Bruce rides again.

Fracture – Anthony Hopkins plots the perfect murder.

Next – Nicolas Cage can see his future.

Well, the trailers looked promising anyway.

390. Bart - March 27, 2007

Well done, Lipstick.

How about some Old English?
(Don’t look it up, you can do this.)

Fæder ure þu þe eart on heofonum,
Si þin nama gehalgod.
To becume þin rice, gewurþe ðin willa, on eorðan swa swa on heofonum.
Urne gedæghwamlican hlaf syle us todæg, and forgyf us ure gyltas, swa swa we forgyfað urum gyltendum.
And ne gelæd þu us on costnunge, ac alys us of yfele

391. geoff - March 27, 2007

The Lord’s Prayer

392. Michael - March 27, 2007

Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

393. Michael - March 27, 2007

Dang you, Geoff!

394. Bart - March 27, 2007

I’m pleasnatly surprised that these symbols can be seen in WordPress.

þ — is called ‘thorn.’ It sounds like the th in thunder.
ð — is called ‘eth.’ It sounds like the th in the word ‘thy.’
Notice the difference between the sounds? One is voiced, ‘thy’ and ‘that,’ which means it is pronounced with a glottal vibration. The other, ‘thigh and thunder, is unvoiced, whcih means it is pronounced without vibration.

This can also be demonstrated with the g. The voiced g is heard in the word ‘legislate.’ Unvoiced g is in the word ‘get.’

395. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

…but deliver us from evil.

I think the actual translation is “…Deliver us from The Evil One“.

The Greek is something like “Tan Paniron”.
OK, I’m just going on old memory.
I’ll look it up.
BRB

396. Retired Geezer - March 27, 2007

Hah!
I was close.

του πονηρου

397. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

You guys are amazing.

I guessed it at and forgyf us ure gyltas

398. Michael - March 27, 2007

I think the actual translation is “…Deliver us from The Evil One“.

Well yeah, duh, but I was translating the Old English, not the Greek.

Poser.

399. Bart - March 28, 2007

Taken from Wiki.

Apparently, that version is from the middle of the 11th Century.

1066 AD is the year marked as the time of the end of Old English. So it’s reasonable to consider to the above version of the Lord’s Prayer either Old or Middle English.

400. Bart - March 28, 2007

In modern Icelandic. Notice that they still use the thorn, þ, and the eth,ð.

Faðir vor, þú sem er á himnum.
Helgist þitt nafn, til komi þitt ríki,
verði þinn vilji, svo á jörðu sem á himni.
Gef oss í dag vort daglegt brauð.
Fyrirgef oss vorar skuldir,
svo sem vér og fyrirgefum
vorum skuldunautum.
Og eigi leið þú oss í freistni,
heldur frelsa oss frá illu.
[Því að þitt er ríkið, mátturinn og dýrðin
að eilífu amen.]

Icelandic, is an offshoot of North Germanic, whereas English is derived from West Germanic.

Now, with modern German, you’ll see how closely it is related to modern English.

Vater unser im Himmel,
Geheiligt werde dein Name.
Dein Reich komme.
Dein Wille geschehe, wie im Himmel so auf Erden.
Unser tägliches Brot gib uns heute.
Und vergib uns unsere Schuld,
wie auch wir vergeben unsern Schuldigern.
Und führe uns nicht in Versuchung,
sondern erlöse uns von dem Bösen.
Denn Dein ist das Reich und die Kraft und die Herrlichkeit in Ewigkeit. Amen.

401. BrewFan - March 28, 2007

Who knew that Bart was really Noam Chomsky’s sock puppet?

402. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër ?

403. compos mentis - March 28, 2007

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is generically known as Naproxen, Amoxil is Amoxicillin and Advil is Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

404. lauraw - March 28, 2007

http://shopping.msn.com/content/shp/?ctId=8356,ptnrid=164,ptnrdata=301868&GT1=9229

I can’t believe the skinny jean is still in. That’s just retarded.

There’s like, six girls on Earth who don’t look ridiculous in the skinny jean (LD is one of them).

BTW, LD, was it you who was willing to take a couple lotus tubers off me?

It’s almost time to tip over the tubs and divvy these things up.
And Geezer gets a waterlily too, IIRC, though that job’s still a couple months away.

405. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

See the løveli lakes

406. Retired Geezer - March 28, 2007

And Geezer gets a waterlily too, IIRC

*Mrs. Geezer jumps up and down like a Miniature Schnauzer with a bladder problem*

Uh, yeah, we’re ready.

407. lauraw - March 28, 2007

:)

408. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

The wøndërful telephøne system

409. lauraw - March 28, 2007

Of course, if Dave has set the precedent, my tuber shipment will guarantee a freek deep freeze in Idaho and Nevada this July.

410. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

Yes, I keep peering into the pot for signs of life.

It’s very murky in there.

411. Retired Geezer - March 28, 2007

guarantee a freek deep freeze in Idaho and Nevada this July.

Tell me about it. We had temps in the 80’s last week but now the highs are only going to be in the 40’s this week. The mountains got a lot of snow yesterday and the friggin’ wind has been blowing for 3 days.

We got rained on when we went out to the foothills for our horsey ride. Good thing Mrs. Geezer had our Official Aussie Drover Coat Slickers in the horse trailer. I looked like the Man From Snowy Hair Follicles.

I’ll be pimping that on my moronblog in a day or so.

412. Lipstick - March 28, 2007

BTW, LD, was it you who was willing to take a couple lotus tubers off me?

Long story short: I decided against doing a water thing in the garden. Too many complications for this climate.

You’re so kind, and I thank you.

413. Dave's co-workers - March 28, 2007

Yes, I keep peering into the pot…

We knew it was you!

414. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

Is “water thing in the garden” code lingo for something hot?

I was just curious.

415. Geezer's Tweezers - March 28, 2007

was it you who was willing to take a couple lotus tubers off me?

Head Lice yes, Deer Ticks yes but I draw the line at Tubers.

416. Lipstick - March 28, 2007

Is “water thing in the garden” code lingo for something hot?

No, although one time when the water main broke and the toilets were inoperable, Mr. LS gave new meaning to “watering the garden”.

417. another bedroom dj - March 30, 2007

Anyone pick up on the resemblance between the nightrider tune and this one? bass line-cow bell combo? or is just memory playing tricks?
ya, STROHBERRIES, the first thing I thought of was the dee-lite vid.
at least I found it. I have to say that the bits cut for bbc program promo insert is better than the whole choon (don’t fling eggs at me!)

418. lauraw - March 30, 2007

Aww, that’s too bad LD. I was thinking of your climate and wanted to suggest you bury a big plastic tub in the ground and plant in that, which would help with the evaporation aspect.

But the watering would still be a big chore I guess :(

Gonna see if I can sell all these tubers then. I must have a couple-three hundred dollars worth of plant material in those tubs.

419. Retired Geezer - March 30, 2007

You could offer discounted shipping…

420. lauraw - March 31, 2007

A girl’s gotta eat. If they won’t pay enough for the tubers, I’ll make it up on the shipping end.

421. Retired Geezer - April 1, 2007

Happy Anniversary (and April Fool’s Day) to all the IB clan.

422. Retired Geezer - April 3, 2007

Now is the time at The Flea IB when we dance.

423. lauraw - April 8, 2007

Happy Easter, Geezer.

Touch my monkey!

424. Retired Geezer - April 8, 2007

Touch my monkey!

Uh, can I rub your squirrel… just for luck?

425. composmentis - April 20, 2007

This post is back in the top ten baby!

426. Retired Geezer - April 21, 2007

*happy dance*

You just can’t keep a good music video down.

I still can’t see those sexual innuendoes that everyone keeps mentioning.

Other than the girl bumping into her keyboard.

427. lauraw - April 22, 2007

Mwaaa ha ha ha haaaaa

THE THING THAT WOULD NOT DIE

428. dr4 - April 22, 2007

THE THING THAT WOULD NOT DIE

Did somebody post a Rolling Stones video?

429. Comment stuck in the spam filter - April 22, 2007

forgot about the multiple links thing again

430. Ralph Wiggums - April 28, 2007

Will you be my mommy? You smell like dead bunnies.

431. sandy burger - May 17, 2007

What a week it’s been. And it’s only Wednesday!

I’d better unwind with a little NYPC…

432. compos mentis - May 18, 2007

New Young Pony Club
I can give you what you want
Back in the top ten

433. Retired Geezer - May 18, 2007

Thanks for reminding me.

*does little happy dance*

*falls down*

whoa, got up a little too quickly.

434. mesablue - May 25, 2007

Just can’t get enough of this song.

435. Retired Geezer - May 26, 2007

Have you ever listened to it backwards?

Totally mindblowing.

436. Bill Clinton - June 1, 2007

These New Young Ponies gals look like potential interns!

437. lauraw - June 2, 2007

I thought Bill liked his ladies more, er, substantial.

438. Michael - June 2, 2007

It just isn’t right that this video gets more hits than a classic like Barbie Girl.

439. lauraw - June 2, 2007

BTW Michael, if you’re ever looking for your old friend C-ford the Paleoconservative, he is posting as ‘Chris Ford’ on that Newsbusters link I left at Ace’s (in the comments to the mummified baby post).

440. Michael - June 2, 2007

Thanks, Laura, but I think I’ll pass. It’s taken me a long time to get over my man-crush on C-ford. I don’t want to open old wounds.

I left you a Mater Report at BlogWisconsin earlier today.

441. Retired Geezer - June 2, 2007

Is the missing part of that name a type of Tree?

As in C- Sinai hospital?

442. Michael - June 2, 2007

Yes, RG. We’re trying to avoid attracting any attention, on the assumption that he googles his name.

443. Bart's stupid pain in the ass dad - June 4, 2007

Did I leave my glasses in here?

Anybody seen my glasses?

444. Sobek - June 4, 2007

Keyboard chick looks bored out of her mind.

445. Michael - June 4, 2007

Anybody seen my glasses?

I think I saw your glasses at Garfield Ridge. Or maybe HayZeus has them. I saw them somewhere.

446. lauraw - June 5, 2007

http://blowingsmokethemovie.com/archives/2007/06/try_not_to_laug.php

I would never. Never.

omigod, nuh- uh.

First, there’s a fundamental lack of respect going on in this video. I’d like to see the tables turned. Shit would be different, you betcha.

Second, Mr. W is teh pranxter. I can’t compete with the evil man-brain. There would be Hell To Pay.

And why doesn’t this idiot carry extra keys since it happened the first time?

447. Dave in Texas - June 5, 2007

I don’t get it.

After like, I don’t know, the 4th time, why doesn’t he break down the door?

448. compos mentis - June 6, 2007

They can’t have been married for all that long. That and he has the patience of Job. After the “pookie-bear” stupid nickname phase of their relationship passes, I predict they’ll find her buried in the crawl space with that video camera shoved up her ass.

449. wiserbud - June 6, 2007

First, there’s a fundamental lack of respect going on in this video. I’d like to see the tables turned. Shit would be different, you betcha.

I saw this on AFV (hey, my son loves it) and they actually won $10k for this video. As they were being interviewed, they said that they do this stuff to each other constantly. But she figured out to video it.

I thought it was hilarious. Of course, if I did this to my wife, she would would whip out a big ol’ can of whoop-ass on me.

450. Retired Geezer - June 6, 2007

Mrs. Geezer and I play jokes on each other all the time.

Well, maybe it’s just me.
Maybe I play jokes on other people too.

One of the funniest practical jokes was when my Granddaughter was visiting here for the summer when she was about 10 years old.
We had the idea to send her back home to her parents in disguise.
We went to the thrift store and bought a dress suitable for a little Mexican girl’s first communion and some really tall shoes.
We made some ‘fake braces’ with a little piece of tinfoil.
Some skin tone darkener and makeup.
I almost forgot to mention that we dyed her hair from blonde to black.
They didn’t recognize her at the airport.

I wonder why they don’t send the grandkids up any more.

451. lauraw - June 6, 2007

My mom used to babysit for her girlfriend sometimes when me and my sister were little. The girlfriend’s kids were Franky and Sandra.

One day she folded up a handkerchief, smeared a little ketchup inside the folds and played with it so it looked like blood just starting to soak through the kerchief. She tied this around Frankie’s head.

When Franky’s mom came to pick up her kids, my mom patiently explained that Franky was absolutely fine, there was no reason to be alarmed, and but perhaps maybe you should take him to the Hospital just in case.

That turned into a bad scene. I don’t think that woman spoke to my mom again for like a year. Hysterical bitch.

452. wiserbud - June 6, 2007

Geez, that’s awesome.

My kids spend a couple of weeks every summer at their grandparents. My FiL has a great sense of humor, but my MiL is all about “Proper Manners and Etiquette.”

So the week before they went, I made my kids promise that when grandma serves Jello for dessert (which guaranteed she would do at least one night) I wanted them to look at each other, say “1..2..3” and just stick their faces in the bowl and start slurping up the Jello.

When they got back, they told me that they almost killed grandpa ’cause he laughed so hard, up until grandma shot him a look that probably froze him to the bone. She was not amused, it seems. I was dying. And so proud of my young-uns.

My in-laws are coming to my place tonight and staying for a few days. We are serving Jello for dessert. If you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know why.

453. daveintexas - June 6, 2007

lauraw, me and you mom would have gotten along famously.

454. lauraw - June 6, 2007

She’s pretty damn funny. My little friends loved her.

455. lauraw - June 6, 2007

Geezer’s takes the cake though. Devious and time consuming.

456. daveintexas - June 6, 2007

she could have put on a recording of “Frankie and Johnnie” in the background.

457. Retired Geezer - June 6, 2007

Here’s a little picture we took before we put her on the airplane.

She looks like Dorothy before the tornado hit.

458. Retired Geezer - June 6, 2007

Now she looks like this.

459. lauraw - June 6, 2007

I still cant believe you dyed her hair when she was just ten.

460. Retired Geezer - June 12, 2007

You have to know my daughter’s sense of humor to know that I wouldn’t get in *too* much trouble.
Hey, they sent them all back the following summer. ;-)

461. lauraw - June 17, 2007

hey whassup

462. lauraw - June 17, 2007

Happy Father’s Day, sweetness.

463. daveintexas - June 17, 2007

to all dads, everywhere. allabest

464. Retired Geezer - June 17, 2007

Best wishes to all the dads.

It’s an awesome responsibility with incredible rewards.

465. geoff - June 17, 2007

Right back atcha, everybody. Take care.

466. skinbad - June 18, 2007

It doesn’t have pigs, as does that fine post on Culture for the Unwashed Masses, but it’s a catchy little tune.

467. Retired Geezer - June 18, 2007

Yeah, it could use a little more Wildlife.

Does anybody have any Indian Runner Ducks hanging around?

468. skinbad - June 18, 2007

YES! And we have a couple of babies. A couple of others hatched and didn’t make it through the first day. But two are looking good. I’ll have to put a pic up.

469. Sobek - June 18, 2007

I’d just like to point out that we’re getting close to 500 comments.

470. lauraw - June 18, 2007

Yup.

471. Sobek - June 18, 2007

Of course, if Geezer had originally posted this video alongside a challenge to write cool facts about Dick Cheney’s cock, maybe we would have hit 500 a long time ago.

472. lauraw - June 18, 2007

yep

473. Sobek - June 18, 2007

So is there some substantive difference between “yep” and “yup”? I remember Vanilla Ice said “yup” a lot back in the day — was he from Connecticut?

474. Dave in Texas - June 18, 2007

Weird coincidence. Vanilla Ice (Rober Matthew Van Winkle) grew up in north Dallas, and went to school with my youngest sister.

Strange, because we say “yep” here.

475. skinbad - June 18, 2007

We say “you bet.”

476. Sobek - June 18, 2007

I say “fo’ shizzle,” but that’s just so the kids will think I’m trendy.

477. BrewFan - June 18, 2007

We say, ‘yah hey’

478. Dave in Texas - June 18, 2007

I say “What’s up my ninja”?

It’s true. I say that alla time.

479. Retired Geezer - June 18, 2007

We say “you bet.”

I knew that was gonna be Skinbad before I read the author.

He actually meant to say “You Betcha” but he didn’t want to appear too Country.

480. Sobek - June 18, 2007

Also acceptable: Sho’ Nuff

481. skinbad - June 18, 2007

Cowboy Action Shootin’ on the news last night:

http://kutv.com/roughingit/local_story_167204634.html

Someday I’ll try it.

482. geoff - June 18, 2007

Also acceptable: Sho’ Nuff

Who is the master?

483. geoff - June 18, 2007

That, of course, is from The Last Dragon.

You betcha.

484. lauraw - June 18, 2007

Mmm hmm.

485. Sobek - June 18, 2007

*dramatic pause*

I am!

486. lauraw - June 18, 2007

You certainly are.

In theory.

487. daveintexas - June 18, 2007

What is that trend, exactly?

No wait, don’t tell me. Just write it down on a piece of paper and burn it.

488. Bart - June 18, 2007

I liked it better when I could use this thread for my personal observations.

Eveyone Out!

O-U-T

Out!

489. lauraw - June 19, 2007

Unlike every other fucking thread, Bart?

No. This is a community garbage thread. Like the other two community garbage threads that you know nothing about.

oh shit

490. Bart - June 19, 2007

Oh look, the crazy cat lady is ridiculing my comments.

491. Bart - June 19, 2007

Go to bed.

492. The Spam Filter - June 19, 2007

You know, I could prevent this thread from reaching 500 comments if I wanted to. Just try me, people. Just keep pushing my buttons.

You’re all on f’n notice!

493. Bart - June 19, 2007

Four ninety-tree.

494. lauraw - June 19, 2007

Oooo- Rah

495. Bart - June 19, 2007

Still up?

Go to bed.

496. Pupster - June 19, 2007

No smokes and no beer make Pupster something-something.

497. geoff - June 19, 2007

Had an odd set of cool coincidences this weekend. I’m driving up to Silverthorne in a grumpy mood (fighting traffic in Boulder and innumerable other delays), when all of a sudden ELP’s version of Fanfare for the Common Man comes on the radio. I’ve never heard it played on the radio before, so it was a real treat and my mood improved instantly.

That evening we’re in this Old Chicago’s in Silverthorne, when my wife notices that at long last my all-time favorite beer is on tap there. Saweeet!!

So she and I are hanging out in the bar later that night (while the kids watched cartoons in the room), and all of a sudden the Atlantic Family Live at Montreux version of Pick Up the Pieces comes on. I haven’t heard that on the radio since 1979, when it played on the now-defunct KADX jazz station in Denver.

Just a weird and very welcome set of fortuitous happenings, all within about 10 hours.

498. Bart - June 19, 2007

I have a rendezvous with destiny.

499. Bart - June 19, 2007

My mission is clear.

500. Bart - June 19, 2007

Number 500.

501. lauraw - June 19, 2007

OK, I’m going to bed. You talked me into it.

Goodnight peeps.
Dream good dreams tonight.

502. compos mentis - June 19, 2007

Hey, we’re over the hump! (No offense lw) We’re on our way to a thousand comments on this baby.

Congratulations RG. Pretty soon, this post will have more comments than you have ear hairs.

503. Retired Geezer - June 19, 2007

*Geezer takes up position with tweezers*

504. compos mentis - June 19, 2007

You know Geez, hopefully people will have read my comment prior to reading yours or else your comment may paint some odd pictures. :)

505. Dave in Texas - June 19, 2007

didn’t work.

*mind scrub*

506. sandy burger - June 19, 2007

geoff:
That evening we’re in this Old Chicago’s in Silverthorne, when my wife notices that at long last my all-time favorite beer is on tap there. Saweeet!!

Well, actually, Geoff, lots of bars have Budweiser.

507. geoff - June 19, 2007

Well, actually, Geoff, lots of bars have Budweiser.

I spit upon your weakened chin parts.

508. Bartw - June 19, 2007

*Geezer takes up position with tweezers*

You have no idea how much it pleases me to know
that I have reached you.

509. Retired Geezer - June 19, 2007

my wife notices that at long last my all-time favorite beer is on tap there

I started drinking Guinness because none of my kids liked it.
It’s kind of spendy but I like it.

510. daveintexas - June 19, 2007

Geezer, just spit on the bottles.

You have to tell them for that to work though.

511. Retired Geezer - June 19, 2007

Geezer, just spit on the bottles.

Like this?

Oh, you said spit

512. lauraw - June 20, 2007

Houseflies
Houseflies that like people

are the most annoying houseflies in the woooorld

513. compos mentis - June 20, 2007

Just remember lw, that everything in creation serves a purpose. The housefly’s purpose is obviously to annoy the shit out of you.

514. Retired Geezer - June 20, 2007

Cause that’s the way God planned it.

515. Retired Geezer - June 20, 2007

You should get one of those Electronic Flyswatters.

All you have to do is touch a fly with one and they instantly drop to the floor and spin around in a cute little break-dance.

Then die.

It’s what passes for entertainment here in I-dee-ho.

516. Dave in Texas - June 20, 2007

That purpose thing is so true.

Here is my purpose:

http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html

517. Bartstick - June 20, 2007

I bet each of us knows a person who owns a cat named Simba.

518. Retired Geezer - June 20, 2007

We have a fish named ‘Spot’.
He frolics among the Tuber stems that LauraW sent us.

519. Bart Geezer - June 20, 2007

Come on.

You don’t know, or knew, a single person with a cat named Simba?

Or Madison?

Or Allie?

Or Blackie?

Or Patches?

520. Retired Geezer - June 20, 2007

He frolics among the Tuber stems that LauraW sent us.

Uh, I should have said ‘stems of the Tuber’ so you don’t get the idea that all that’s left is stems.

521. lauraw - June 20, 2007

I had a fish named Spot. She was AWOL when we took the plastic hoop-greenhouse covering off the pond this Spring. I blame the bullfrog.

Big Red, Speckle, and Mrs. Wallace Stevens are all still there and fine, though. And all their children, as far as I know. I don’t keep track of the offspring.

Interesting thing happened at work today. I took Yankee (my cattle dog) out to pip behind the neighbor’s store where there’s woods and stuff for him to sniff.

Just beyond the path behind that store, under the edge of the woods, I saw some stuff.

Several loosely-knotted garbage bags half-full of whatever, lying on the ground. A big burlap blanket draped over a shopping cart full of more stuff.
Look, I’m from Hartford.

I know a bum-nest when I see one.

While I was digesting the scene I felt this creepy feeling.
Where’s the bum? Where is he?

Is he sleeping on the other side of that hump of stuff where I can’t see him? Where is he?
Then the realization that I’m in the woods behind a parking lot where nobody goes and nobody can see me.

Gonna have to tell on him and turn him out.

Sorry, Bum. I can’t have it. No.
I feel kind of guilty.

But NO.

522. Russ from Winterset - June 20, 2007

I have a conundrum. I think. Not that I’m totally sure what a “conundrum” is, but the word sounds good, and I’m sticking with it for now.

I purchased a ’93 Ford Explorer right after Christmas. It’s VERY low mileage (was less than 50k when I got it), but sinmce it’s so old & inexpensive it works as a good farm vehicle for me. Yesterday I was cleaning under the front seats and along with $1.36 in sticky change, I found an undeveloped roll of Kodak Advantix film. I have no idea who owned this vehicle before I did, since I bought it from a dealer in Osceola who probably bought it at an auction.

I’m now faced with a big decision. Do I throw out the film, develop it myself, or attempt to find the original owners? I don’t want to simply throw it out, but tracking down the owners might be difficult. And developing the film? I. Don’t. Think. So. There are some things that you see that you just can’t un-see, and I don’t want to take a risk that this film has ANY of those images on it. Especially since that for all I know W.P. recently traded in a green/beige Explorer 4door.

Advice, anyone?

523. Retired Geezer - June 20, 2007

I’d develop it but first I’d tell the photo shop guy the circumstances.

You know, just in case it’s WP’s film.

524. Retired Geezer - June 20, 2007

We have a little garter (garden?) snake that lives around the pond. Mrs. Geezer has kind of a fear of snakes. I told her that she should just ‘Name’ the snake so it would make it more of a person snake.
Wait, that’s not right.

Anyway, Elizibeth is now the name of the snake.

Speaking of Elzbth, I haven’t seen her in a while.
She didn’t run off with Bart, did she?

525. lauraw - June 20, 2007

Pull the film out of the cannister to overexpose it to shit and then rewind it and chuck it.

Out the car window on a roadside you rarely pass and that doesn’t have highway cameras.

Geezer, the area around my pond is completely aslither in Spring with Garter snakes. They startle me when I muck around out there, but they’re good steady friends to the garden.

Be a good idea to put in a few toad houses, though, in case the snakes eat too many of the baby toads.

526. Russ from Winterset - June 21, 2007

Laura, the advantix film doesn’t spool out of the roll like regular 35mm film, so that’s not an option. I hate to just throw it out, because what if it’s got someone’s first birthday on it, or the last Thanksgiving with Uncle Junior before he died?

Of course, it could also have pictures of Ma & Pa’s bondage gear & fetish wear. That’s the problem, I can’t throw it out, but I dare not see what’s on it. I guess I’ll call the dealer tomorrow & see if he can help track down the original owners.

527. Sobek - June 21, 2007

All right guys, enough of this silliness. Let’s get back on topic, shall we?

528. skinbad - June 21, 2007

If you would have bought Mrs. Peel’s Cherokee you wouldn’t have this problem.

529. geoff - June 21, 2007

The *real* question is: what do you *want* the film to have on it?

530. bart mentis - June 21, 2007

Nevermind elzbth, where’s civetta?

531. Dave in Texas - June 21, 2007

She got 15 years for gettin it on with the captain of the football team.

532. compos mentis - June 21, 2007

Gonna have to tell on him and turn him out.

He saw you back there with your dog. He’ll know it was you that ratted him out and caused him to lose his only place of refuge.

You’re going to cause that last little thread in his frazzled brain to snap and he’ll blame YOU.

Or not.

533. lauraw - June 21, 2007

I don’t want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2383711.html?menu=news.quirkies

534. lauraw - June 21, 2007
535. geoff - June 21, 2007

Unbelievable. An “addiction” to heavy music gets this guy disability?

Maybe we should do all our blogging from Sweden…

536. the customer's voice in Lauraw's head - June 21, 2007

You know the homeless man saw you when you found his nest.

You know he’ll want to get even with you for ratting on him.

You know the police won’t do anything about it until after he comes for you.

The shovel & quicklime are out in the garden shed. You know what to do with them.

…oh yeah, I almost forgot. Will this package get to Miami by Saturday if it’s picked up today?

537. sandy burger - June 21, 2007

Personally, Russ, I’d just throw out the film. But then, I’m both lazy and heartless. I’ve also lost many of my old photos, and I can’t say it’s really caused me any life-altering harm.

Bart, I have never known anybody with a cat named Simba. But then, I’m a cave-dwelling recluse.

538. lauraw - June 21, 2007

I know that little pre-adolescent boys are often cruel and heartless to animals, but when grown men do it…

Video at the link.

http://www.local6.com/news/13542271/detail.html

539. compos mentis - June 21, 2007

Ditto on the cat thing. Then agin, I don’t know many who have cats.

As for the film, I’d get it developed. Screw going to the trouble of trying to track down the owner. There may not be anything on it anyway. If there is, THEN if you’re so inclined, try to find the owner.

If there’s any Tranny Granny stuff on it, well, you have a funny story to tell over cocktails next time.

540. compos mentis - June 21, 2007

This may sound strange, but I think hunting teaches respect for and value of life. These people obviously have none. People suck sometimes.

541. daveintexas - June 21, 2007

Goddam jerks (the ray assholes). Every one of em oughta be punched in the nuts. On the half hour.

Some people are just no damn good. There, I said it.

542. bart burger - June 21, 2007

Gas is down to $2.84/gal in my area.

Still cost me $80 to fill up the luvmachine, though.

543. lauraw - June 21, 2007

**ppppbbbhhttt**

luvmachine?

BWAAA HA HAAA HAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*gasping for air*

*passing ou

544. bartwing plover - June 24, 2007

Latinas think I’m GUAPO.

545. lauraw - June 24, 2007

I think that term is considered antiquated speech.

I’m pretty sure the idion for good-looking is ‘bueno’ now.

546. lauraw - June 24, 2007

idiot
idiom

/whatever

547. Retired Geezer - June 24, 2007

*scratches bald spot*

Conyo.

548. daveintexas - June 24, 2007

baldo

549. bartwing plover - June 24, 2007

Um, no, lauraw.

Guapo is still used by Spanish speakers.

I heard it yesterday. I understand a lot of Spanish and can speak a little, too. I was in an office getting something notarized and the girls were talking about me in Spanish.

One of them said, “We’re talking about you.”

I said, “I know.”

I clearly heard the word “guapo” and they were wondering if I was married.

She said, “Ohhh, then we better stop talking about you, hahahaha. We think you’re cute.”

I was disappointed, though. They didn’t say muy guapo.

550. Bartpinto - June 24, 2007

But I did find it interesting that she didn’t use the word “handsome,” which is the literal translation. But cute is good, especially at my age.

551. BrewFan - June 24, 2007

my mierda de toro machina is humming. Loud.

552. BrewFan - June 24, 2007

Maybe that should have been machina mierda del toro, but really, who cares?

553. lauraw - June 24, 2007

Ah, well, maybe it’s a regional Latin-American thing.

The lady who told me that was a Cuban right off the boat, when Castro let some people go during the Clinton years.

I was a pretty good Spanish speaker once immersed and I’d get rolling with her, being a work buddy. But she interrupted me once and told me nobody used ‘guapo’ anymore.

554. El Guapo - June 24, 2007

I still use it.

555. lauraw - June 25, 2007

Or maybe it was ‘hermoso?’

You know, it could have been ‘hermoso.’

556. compos mentis - June 25, 2007

Isn’t that some kind of cocktail?

Quiero que usted me quiera! — Robin Zanderchez

557. Retired Geezer - June 25, 2007

Somos pocos pero estamos locos.

We are few but we are crazy.

Should be the IB motto.

558. compos mentis - June 25, 2007

How about We’re all here cuz we’re not all there.

559. c34140a623e85573b099b05aaf0de6e0 - June 25, 2007

c34140a623e85573b099b05aaf0de6e0

c34140a623e85573b099b05aaf0de6e0

560. BrewFan - June 25, 2007

The NUMBERS!

561. Retired Geezer - June 25, 2007

*resetting timer*

Whew, that was close.

562. Dave in Texas - June 25, 2007

RG, How about “no cerveza, no trabajo”?

563. BrewFan - June 25, 2007

I’m a Lost junkie. I never watched the show despite all the good stuff I’ve heard from family and friends. I recently joined NetFlix and am in the process of getting caught up. I am at Season 2, the fourth episode. The next DVD is enroute!

564. mesablue - June 25, 2007

Has the atomic bomb blown up the entire island yet?

565. Retired Geezer - June 25, 2007

Brew, have you ever seen that video “Addicted to Lost”?

It’s the Robert Palmer “Addicted to Love” song with video from the series.

I don’t watch the show but I liked it.
I’m sure you can find it easily.

566. BrewFan - June 25, 2007

I haven’t seen that. As soon as I’m caught up I’ll google it. Right now I’m hoping season 3 will come out on DVD before season 4 starts.

567. Bart Geezer - June 25, 2007

568. El Bartolo - June 28, 2007

I’ll be commenting in the thread that apparently you Americans
can’t be bothered to comment…

in.

569. Bart in Winterset - July 1, 2007

*twiddling thumbs*

570. Tom - July 2, 2007

just heard this remixxed at one of the hotter clubs/bars in melbourne, australia.

just about every girl in the building was grooving to this

571. Retired Geezer - July 2, 2007

Thanks for the info, Tom.

How about sending us the file?

572. Bart - July 5, 2007

I finally bought a new phone.

Leaving Nextel.

Nextel sucks.

573. Sobek - July 5, 2007

The Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheesburger. 99 cents. ‘Nuff said.

574. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

Anybody have a recommendation for how to cook beef tips?

575. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

rare

576. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

Ha!

medium well

577. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

punk

578. Mrs. Michael - July 5, 2007

Slowly! Very slowly. Like good sex!

Lipstick is right — medium well — and done slowly. With assurance… patiently… like good sex. Take your time. You’ll get there.

579. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

nobody wants steak jerky.

I can’t believe I’m responding to this now… I’m going to go slap myself in the face.

ow

580. Bart - July 5, 2007

medium rare, not well.

Pink in the middle.

Like sex.

581. Michael - July 5, 2007

Also, when you are slowly simmering the beef tips, use red wine and onions. Like good sex.

Dave, beef tips are not steak.

582. Mrs. Michael - July 5, 2007

Kiss all your pink parts (Christian Slater) — but I still think beef tips need to be completely done — medium well.

583. Mrs. Michael - July 5, 2007

Dave — did slapping yourself in the face feel good?

584. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

I had it in the crock pot on low for about 5 hours and they seem done. And dry.

1 lb. steak tips, 1 can beef broth, some dashes of soy sauce and spices.

Dry as a bone. I fling my apron in despair.

585. Bart - July 5, 2007

Anything medium or > medium = burnt.

Who likes dry, tastless meat?

Pink and juicy.

Like sex.

586. Bart - July 5, 2007

Steak tips in the crockpot?!?!?!

Blasphemy!

Are you making stew?

Steak MUST be grilled.

Like sex.

587. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

Anybody else think that Michael is getting lucky tonight?

She’s all saucy and sexy!

588. Bart - July 5, 2007

The poolboy is also named Michael?

589. BrewFan - July 5, 2007

Anybody else think that Michael is getting lucky tonight?

*crickets chirping*

590. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

Einstien, beef tips can be a variety of cuts, from tenderloin to blade, do you imagine me a meat philistine? I don’t know my way around a cow?

Which is why, they should be seared and cooked quickly, or cooked for hours.

Honestly. You insult me now. Yes, the crap at Krogers called tips is probably a rough cut.

I’ve chased cow. I know the good parts. And what to do with the not so good parts.

591. Michael - July 5, 2007

Beef tips can be slowly simmered in a pan to make them tender, like sex.

Throw some stewed tomatoes in there with the red wine and onion, and they won’t dry out. Also like sex.

592. Michael - July 5, 2007

I’ve chased cow.

Chased? Hell, you stump-broke a few of them.
:)

593. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

You can simmer old foreskins in a pan to make them tender you goof.

Anything cooked slowly over low heat will be tender.

Except bone.

594. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

These are Cattleman’s beef tips.

We hauled a cooler full of meat home from El Paso.

595. Retired Geezer - July 5, 2007

Hell, you stump-broke a few of them.

Amazing what a couple of onions and a little red wine will do.

And could we get back to Lipstick flipping her apron up again?

596. geoff - July 5, 2007

Who likes dry, tastless meat?

Paul Pelosi?

597. Michael - July 5, 2007

Note to Elzbth:

In case you happen to read the recent comments on this thread, you do not want to know what “stump broke” means. Trust me about this.

598. Bart - July 5, 2007

I haven’t eaten a cheeseburger in 3 months.

I’ve been eating chicken breasts (2-3 lbs) for supper every night.

Off the grill, of course.

599. Mrs. Michael - July 5, 2007

Lipstick,
Sorry about your beet tips. I suspect that Dave is on to something about quality of the meat. But that is okay. I never thought beef tips were considered high quality meat anyway.

It sounds like it needed to be tenderized. It might have needed more acid from something like wine, tomatoes, mustard, onions, to help break down the meat fibers. The soy sauce could have actually made it tougher, since it is high in sodium and can draw out the moisture. Salt at the end after it has cooked — is what I have heard from our son the culinary-dude. Sorry…

Suggest you not eat it tonight — instead — add a can of stewed tomatoes and onions and have it another night.

600. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

I don’t know what stump broke means either.

It’ll be fun to ask Mr. LS and see his look of surprise.

601. Retired Geezer - July 5, 2007

The soy sauce could have actually made it tougher, since it is high in sodium and can draw out the moisture. Salt at the end after it has cooked

Preach it, Sister.

602. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

Thank you Mrs. Michael !

603. Russ from Winterset - July 5, 2007

I don’t know if you can call what you get from a Texas steer “beef”. OK, I mean, sure, if you had Grissom & the CSI team to a DNA analysis of what’s on your grill, it MIGHT come back as “bovine”, but it’s not really beef.

REAL beef comes from the midwest, preferably Iowa. Hell, our DEER taste more like real beef than Texas cattle do. Why do you think Texans came up with BBQ, anyway?

To hide the taste of the glorified armadillo meat they call “beef”.

604. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

Wow, this explains a lot of my kitchen mishaps.

605. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

I wrote #604 before seeing Russ’s comment!

606. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

Bart, you’re eating 2-3 lbs of chicken every night?!

607. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

Look, I didn’t mean to get all cow on this thing, but I know my way around a churrascharia card.

“Beef tips”, as advertised under the plastic, you’d best cook em like a brisket if you don’t want bloody, and that means 4 hours way low heat.

If you can handle the rarity, sear em for 30 seconds and eat.

Same tenderness.

608. Bart - July 5, 2007

Yeah, every. single. night.
I’m on a high protein/high calorie diet.

Still have my love handles, but for the first time ever
I’m actually showing muscular definition.

For breakfast: Cheerios and steel cut oats.
I also eat 4 dozen hardboiled eggs/week.

Go get yourself some protein powder. It’s a good thing.

609. Lipstick - July 5, 2007

Thanks for the “tips”

har-de-har-har

610. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

Thanks for the mammaries.

– B. Hope.

611. lauraw - July 5, 2007

Cereal or oatmeal in the morning makes me put on fat. I love-LOVE- muesli but I haven’t touched it in years because of that. No matter how small a portion I ate- 1/4 cup! – I would feel the difference in my waistline in a week or two.

Lunchtime carbs (I eat lunch between 9-11 am) seem to have no effect.

Timing really is everything when you’re fine-tuning a diet.

612. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

I am timing the ice cream now… 2am. NO EARLIER

613. Michael - July 5, 2007

I saw Bob Hope live at the Veiled Prophet Fair in St. Louis on the Arch grounds.

Sorry, I know he was a great supporter of the military and all, but I couldn’t figure out why anyone ever thought that guy had any talent.

614. Bart - July 5, 2007

I look at those carbs as fuel.
And I better be burning that fuel or it sits in my tank (tummy).

So I make sure I don’t miss any training (workouts).

615. daveintexas - July 5, 2007

What did you say counselor?

What did you say about Bob Hope?

*eyes narrow*

I never saw him perform live, always saw the packaged Hope. But I did meet him once, with my dad, and one of my dad’s co-workers who was with the 5th SOF in Vietnam from 1967-69. Hope was signing books in a shop in North Dallas. Dad’s friend said “Mr. Hope, I saw you in Da Nang and I just wanted to shake your hand sir”, and Hope jumped up, sprang up, and thrust his hand out and said “No. I want to shake your hand. It’s a privilege”.

He may not have been the funniest guy in the world, or the most talented, but he had a genuine love for American servicemen and put his time and his fortune into it. That day I understood his sincerity.

Humbling.

616. geoff - July 5, 2007

2-3 lbs of chicken? Isn’t that a boatload of estrogen?

Oh.

617. Bart - July 5, 2007

:D

And I thought my pecs were getting bigger.
All this time I was growing boobs.
:(

618. Mrs. Michael - July 5, 2007

Okay — give me crap, but I alway thought Bob Hope was SEXY. I loved watching him with Bing Crosby in the Road movies. He was tons funnier and sexier than Bing.

Many years ago during Viet Nam my cousin in the Navy sang in the Navy choir on Bob Hope’s show. Hope always took the risk and put himself on the line for the troops.

Like Dave said — he came across as humble, but also sweet and incredibly funny — and I think that appeals to women.

619. Cuffy Meigs - July 5, 2007

holymotherofgod. ‘kay, I’m new to IB lurking/commenting. I see “I Can Give You What You Want” incessantly in the new comments area. {Click}. 600+ comments (!) and the original video is kaput. Recent comments are about beef tips, Bart’s perky breasts and Bob Hope.

I am lost.

620. geoff - July 5, 2007

This thread is an expression of the music video rivalry between Michael and Retired Geezer. Every time Michael goes out of town, RG bumps it and encourages everybody to comment on it to make it a Top Post again.

Recent comments are about beef tips, Bart’s perky breasts and Bob Hope.

That happens on every thread.

621. Cuffy Meigs - July 5, 2007

Ahhhh, it’s all coming together now {tapping steepled fingers}.

622. Bart - July 5, 2007

I just wanted to talk about my new PDA phone. :(

623. geoff - July 5, 2007

Yeah, forgot to mention that Bart keeps trying to squat on this thread and claim it for his own.

OK Bart – which phone didja get?

624. Michael - July 5, 2007

RG bumps it

RG does not bump it. He is to classy to do that.

It’s that prick Brewfan who keeps bumping it, just to piss me off.

625. geoff - July 5, 2007

Here’s a new link to the video.

626. Michael - July 5, 2007

Yeah, forgot to mention that Bart keeps trying to squat on this thread and claim it for his own.

I’m OK with that, so long as everyone is careful to make sure that Bart does not learn about the two super-secret threads where we talk about him behind his back.

They’re not at IB, Bart, so don’t bother searching for your name here.

627. Cuffy Meigs - July 5, 2007

great. thanks geoff–I was hoping the whole “video kaput” thing would excuse me from reading the entire thread. Time to open a new bottle of vino for this endeavor…

628. Bart - July 5, 2007

…which phone didja get?

I don’t think you really care, geoff.

Okay, I got the T Mobile Dash. It’s an old model, but those are the ones you can get new for free.

629. Cuffy Meigs - July 5, 2007

{3:09 later}

alright, that video actually reinforced a stereotype of mine: musical chicks always look at what they’re playing. The keyboardist AND the drummer gals kept making sure they were hitting chords/keeping time.

Switching to tequila…

630. Russ from Winterset - July 5, 2007

Bob Hope is Old School. Sure, he didn’t make you lose bladder control laughing, but he could share the spotlight with almost anyone, and he was one of those guys who figured that making his co-stars look good was just as important to the success of the picture as looking good himself. As far as his USO appearances go, he could have gone up on stage & read the freakin’ phone book for all the audience cared. He wanted to be there to entertain the troops, and the troops all appreciated what he was trying to do. Plus, he always brought quality womenfolk with him.

Brew, you’re eating 2-3 pounds of chicken a day? That’s, like, a whole chicken (either a small one w/the bones in, or a whole regular sized one de-boned). It sounds like you’re burning the calories just as quickly as you’re takin’ them in, correct?

Now Sobek, I’ve got no problem picturing HIM eating that much chicken…..in a single sitting even. I’ve seen “The Crocodile Hunter”, “Live & Let Die” and even that Lion vs. Water Buffalo vs. Crocodile video on the interwebthingy – so that’s no shock to me.

631. Michael - July 5, 2007

Thanks, Geoff. I fixed the post with your new YouTube link.

632. Bart - July 5, 2007

…you’re burning the calories just as quickly as you’re takin’ them in, correct?

Actually, that’s my last meal of the day. :(
I go to bed right after eating. (I know, not good).

But I wake up hungry! My metabolism is getting quicker on account of all the protein shakes I drink.

633. geoff - July 5, 2007

Okay, I got the T Mobile Dash.

And how does this phone make you feel?

634. Michael - July 5, 2007

FYI, Cuffy, the music video rivalry on this site began with the fact that the the cretinous unwashed proletarians who visit this site inexplicably rejected my excellent nomination for the Innocent Bystanders theme song.

635. Michael - July 5, 2007

Since then, there has been a conspiracy to deny me the praise that I am due for the excellent Sonific music selections which frequently grace my posts.

Oh yes. I know it’s a conspiracy, and I suspect that Dave in Texas is at the center of it.

636. Bart - July 5, 2007

You’re not gonna start the sonific crap again, are you?

637. Cuffy Meigs - July 5, 2007

Well, Michael.

There I was, hip deep in a 600+ thread, slugging it out in the salt mine. And I take a break to listen to your excellent nomination.

The last thing I need is a couple of dudes lipsynching Barbie Girl while performing Erotic Dance.

Back to the gulag…(I’m at ~250!)

638. Retired Geezer - July 5, 2007

Double thanks to Michael and Geoff. I had no idea that link was busted.

Bart, I can understand switching from Nextel. That flippin deedle-deet tone after you quit talking drives me nuts.

I’m as excited about my new Samsung phone as some people are with the new iPhones. It’s got a 2meg camera that takes excellent photos and a cool feature that allows me to put phone numbers on a REJECT CALL LIST. When someone on the list calls me, the phone doesn’t ring and they get routed to my voice mail but it doesn’t record their message.
Saweeet!
I’ve gotten about 25 telemarketers and 1 obnoxious client on the list. (I made the mistake of giving someone a freebie and now they expect it every time they call)

639. Retired Geezer - July 5, 2007

And how does this phone make you feel?

Well Doc, I wake up and she’s leaving the cave. I’m standing by the waterfall and it just makes me…

*breaks down*

640. Bart - July 5, 2007

2 meg camera? That’s great.
The Dash only has a 1.3meg cam and vid cam.

641. Retired Geezer - July 5, 2007

1.3 megs is a lot better than 640×480, that’s what I had for years.

I think my phone is called a Sync, it has a slot for micro SD chips. I have a 2gig chip now with 150 songs on it.
And I can create my own ringtones on my coughMac and drag them to my chip.

Here’s Mrs. Geezer’s ringtone.

(and all the IB Babes said “Awwwwwww, that’s so sweet”.)

642. Cuffy Meigs - July 6, 2007

Done—all 641 messages.

I learned a lot tonight. {twisting knob behind back} Many unique individuals here. {shuffling backwards} So many informative stories—stories of parrafin wax {hinges squeaking}, speed reading {creaking floor }, and pink, sexy beef tips {sprints from room}.

643. Lipstick - July 6, 2007

Stay Cuffy. We’re all harmless.

umm, pretty much.

644. Cuffy Meigs - July 6, 2007

Ain’t skeered. Many I know from Ace’s; others…well howdy do!

645. Lipstick - July 6, 2007

Glad to have you here.

Nighty night.

646. queeg plover having trouble with prepositions - July 6, 2007

Maybe we can get another Q meme going.

Anyone remember in what thread that was…

in?

“Attention” thread?

647. Retired Geezer - July 6, 2007

*looks around for Michael*

Psssst, Cuffy, go visit my moronblog and get the lowdown on Paraffin.

648. Sobek - July 6, 2007

Cuffy, I didn’t start reading this thread until it was up to almost five hundred posts. Now I feel whole … complete.

649. Michael - July 6, 2007

Cuffy, if you actually read this entire thread, it’s possible you might fit in here.

Maybe.

There’s just one more thing I would like to know.

When you read, do your lips move?

650. Cuffy Meigs - July 6, 2007

Nope, I use my hands. Like a half-Sicilian.

Cuffy’s Drunk Reading Comprehension: A+

651. Michael - July 6, 2007

Nope

Run! Run for your life!!!

652. compos mentis - July 6, 2007

We never did get back to Lipstick flippin’ up her apron.

653. Mrs. Peel - July 6, 2007

Cuffy, now go to the Top Posts list in the sidebar and read my enduring classic, The Most Horrifying Commercial Ever. We’re at a loss to figure out why that keeps popping into Top Posts, as there aren’t any google search terms that might explain it. (At least according to Michael.) But it sure is popular.

654. daveintexas - July 6, 2007

How did we miss that cm?

655. BrewFan - July 6, 2007

It’s that prick Brewfan who keeps bumping it, just to piss me off.

You’re the wind beneath my wings.

656. Lipstick - July 6, 2007

We never did get back to Lipstick flippin’ up her apron.

I purposely did not say “flipping it up”, cause I knew you pervs would latch onto that!

657. wiserbud - July 6, 2007
658. compos mentis - July 6, 2007

Lipstick, you say that like it’s a bad thing.

Dave, we’re getting older and forgetfuller.

659. geoff - July 6, 2007

Infamous Q thread

That was a funny thread. But now I can’t even remember which ones I did. A memory like a baby duck…

660. Bart - July 6, 2007

#5 and #10 were mine.

As usual, Bart gets the ball rolling…

661. Retired Geezer - July 7, 2007

I’m going to open a contest on my moronblog; I’m getting close to 200,000 fools visiting my site.

Sitemeter:
Total …………………. 196,397
Average per Day ……………. 464

To be eligible, you have to be a regular commenter here at IB.
Not necessarily a main page commenter, just somebody that hangs out and adds comments every now and then.
The closest eligible person to the 200,000th visitor wins.

The prize: Your choice of either:
Idaho Coffee Mug
or
The Fiesta Bowl DVD which cost me $20.
FYI they always have that game playing on wide screen TV’s in every Wal*Mart in Idaho.
It’s the Law.

Should reach the magic number within the next week.

Now all I gotta do is remember how to figure out which visitor is which. I honestly forgot how I did it back in December 2005 for my 50,000th visitor.

Any suggestions?

662. Michael - July 7, 2007

Go to your Sitemeter, click on Recent Visitors By Detail, click on the “1” at the beginning of your most recent visitor, and you’ll see where that visitor is in the running total at the top of the page. You’ll have to catch No. 200K while that visitor (and adjacent ones) are still in the most recent 100.

As soon as you get past 200,000, I guess you’ll have to publish IP address information of the 20 or so visitors closest to 200K and see if any IBer claims it. This assumes that IBers are capable of figuring out their own IP address, which could be a problem.

663. lauraw - July 7, 2007
664. Retired Geezer - July 7, 2007

Thanks, I forgot the last step.
I want to make sure one of my fakey internet friends wins.
I don’t want to give the prize away to some Scandi who stumbled onto my site by doing a Google search for ‘Paris Hilton’s Pooter or World’s Ugliest Dog’.

That search might yield the exact same results, come to think of it.

665. Retired Geezer - July 7, 2007

Good one, LauraW.
What are those Episcopalites thinkin’?

Approaching comment 666…

Seems apropros.

666. Satan - July 8, 2007

I love that lady!

667. daveintexas - July 8, 2007

Crazy priest’s super-bishop sez “nuh uh baby”.

http://hotair.com/archives/2007/07/06/guess-what-you-cant-be-a-muslim-and-a-christian-and-a-priest-at-the-same-time-after-all/

her local bishop is still an idiot, which is why there’s a lot going wrong in that church.

668. Bart - July 8, 2007

It’s a fine church…

for leftism, multi-culturalism, and progressivism.

Not for Christianity, though.

669. daveintexas - July 8, 2007

Oh duh, I read the article laura linked and it already had the suspension write up.

I are retardif.

670. lauraw - July 8, 2007

I ate all the tapioca.
Sorry.

It was good.

671. daveintexas - July 8, 2007

selfish jerk

672. bart burger - July 9, 2007

Do buildings still omit the 13th floor, or has that tradition gone by the wayside, too?

673. Sobek - July 9, 2007

The new courthouse in Las Vegas doesn’t have a 13th floor.

674. Bart - July 15, 2007

Anyone want an Nextel i730?

I’m getting rid of it on ebay, but I’ll gladly give it to anyone here.

It’s a Nextel, so I guess it means you need to have Nextel service
unless you want to change the SIM card. I dunno.

675. Bart - July 15, 2007

Let me know before I get a bid on it. I can’t unlist it after a bid has been placed.

It will be fun to get your address.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just kidding.

;)

676. lauraw - July 15, 2007

Is Bart your real first name?

Because I feel you as more of a ‘Thomas.’

677. cranky - July 15, 2007

RG, I am # 199,549. Guess today is the big day.

678. Retired Geezer - July 15, 2007

Cranky, thanks for reminding me.

Go here for the contest / prize information.

Comment 661

Try to get a screen capture if you can. I may not be around the computer when that happens.

Been a busy weekend.

679. Bart - July 15, 2007

199,633.

680. Russ from Winterset - July 15, 2007

199,649

681. BrewFan - July 15, 2007

199,692

682. BrewFan - July 15, 2007

If I wasn’t so doggone lazy I’d write a quick program to make 318 http requests to your blog. Maybe if the reward was greater… :)

683. Michael - July 15, 2007

Maybe if the reward was greater…

I have to say, those prizes are both roughly equivalent to a thimble full of navel lint. Geezer should up the ante.

684. Retired Geezer - July 15, 2007

Yeah, I know they ain’t all that, but that BSU Fiesta Bowl DVD is the shiznit here in the Spud State.

The new NCAA Football 2008 video game has Jared Zabranski on the cover.

Enas Yorl won a blogidaho.com ballcap for being my 50,000th visitor. He sent me a picture of himself wearing it in Vegas.

685. Retired Geezer - July 15, 2007

In related news, here’s a picture of me in a Tux with my daughter who is hotter than Haley Mills.

686. Michael - July 15, 2007

Hayley!

687. Michael - July 15, 2007

that BSU Fiesta Bowl DVD is the shiznit here in the Spud State.

Cute girl, RG.

Your glasses, on the other hand, have kind of an ’80s look. Time to update.

688. daveintexas - July 15, 2007

Geezer, I’m so glad to see your daughter got all of her good looks from you.

Because from the other pictoral evidence I’ve seen, Mrs. Geezer kept all of hers.

689. BrewFan - July 15, 2007

She is pretty, Geezer. I hope she doesn’t harbor any hard feelings towards you from her childhood because her ‘Take Your Daughter To Work Day’ reports were banned in Boston. :)

690. Russ from Winterset - July 15, 2007

199,734

691. Retired Geezer - July 15, 2007

Yeah, she’s still pretty good looking for pushing 40.

I like DinT’s line. Gotta remember that one.

692. Lady Michael - July 15, 2007

Pretty girl, RG.
She also has sweet eyes. Kind and smart too!

693. lolbart - July 15, 2007

Re: RG’s daughter

Meeowz

694. lauraw - July 16, 2007

Oh, those blue, blue eyes…lovely.

There’s blue eyes and green eyes, blondes and redheads on both sides of my family (my sister inherited lovely hazel-green eyes), but I just had to be born a morena (not exactly like the spanish people use it)…

695. Retired Geezer - July 16, 2007

Looks like it might be tomorrow morning for the lucky 200,000th visitor.
I’ll declare the closest IB’er to that number the winner.

696. Retired Geezer - July 16, 2007

We’re hitting the road shortly to go back to the Spud State. Looks like y’all are on the honor system since I’ll be traveling.

697. geoff - July 16, 2007

199926

698. geoff - July 16, 2007

199947

699. BrewFan - July 16, 2007

I’m 199,999!

700. harrison - July 16, 2007

I was 200,018. I guess that’s what I get for going out for lunch.

701. Michael - July 16, 2007

Looks like Brew’s the winner, unless this guy is an IB commenter:

Domain Name spro.net ? (Network)
IP Address 204.229.119.# (SolutionPro)
ISP Westnet
Location
Continent : North America
Country : United States (Facts)
State : Idaho
City : Nampa
Lat/Long : 43.5669, -116.5899 (Map)
Language English (U.S.)
en-us
Operating System Microsoft WinXP
Browser Internet Explorer 6.0
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.30)
Javascript version 1.3
Monitor
Resolution : 1280 x 1024
Color Depth : 32 bits
Time of Visit Jul 16 2007 3:32:45 pm
Last Page View Jul 16 2007 3:32:59 pm
Visit Length 14 seconds
Page Views 1
Referring URL
Visit Entry Page http://blogidaho.blogspot.com/
Visit Exit Page http://blogidaho.blogspot.com/
Out Click Leapin’ Lizards

[video src="http://blogidaho.biz/lizard.wmv" /]

Time Zone UTC-7:00
Visitor’s Time Jul 16 2007 1:32:45 pm
Visit Number 200,000

702. Retired Geezer - July 17, 2007

I’m thinking Brew gets the prize. I don’t know of anybody in Nampa who even reads my moronblog.

So what do you want Brew, the BSU Fiesta Bowl DVD or the Authentic (made in China) Idaho Coffee mug?

I’m pretty sure if Digital Brown Shirt won, he wouldn’t pick the DVD because he lives in Oklahoma.
;-)

703. BrewFan - July 17, 2007

Doesn’t it bother the rest of you Idahoians that Boise thinks its a state? Anyway, as much as I’d like to have that Potatohuskers video, I think I’d like to have the coffee mug even more. Thank you.

P.S. You can also help me come up with an excuse I can give my customer for why I visited the Sitemeter web site 1,386 times yesterday :)

704. bartwing plover - July 17, 2007

send Brew your CAT.

705. Retired Geezer - July 17, 2007

*taping Spudder in a UPS box*

Yep, here’s your mug.

706. Bart - July 19, 2007

That reminded me of a song.

Geezer just came up with an idea for a great thread:

That Reminded of This Song…

in which we could all post songs that remind us of the previously posted song.

For example, RG’s song reminded of this song:

707. Bart - July 19, 2007

Atheism to assholes in 80 comments.

That’s why I comment in here.

708. compos mentis - July 19, 2007

lofl Bart!

709. sandy burger - July 19, 2007

Bart’s song reminded me of this song:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=a1sf2CzEq0w

710. Bart - July 19, 2007

sandy’s got it.

sandy’s song reminded of this song:

711. daveintexas - July 19, 2007

Not all atheists are assholes. But all atheists have assholes.

712. guy who just had a rectumectomy - July 19, 2007

There is no God.

713. Pupster - July 19, 2007

Dave’s comment reminded me of this song.

714. Little Johnny - July 19, 2007

Rectum, hell.
Damn near killed ‘im.

715. Michael - July 19, 2007

Bart’s song reminded me of this song.

716. Michael - July 19, 2007

Pupster’s song reminded me of, well, Pupster.

717. Michael - July 19, 2007

For the convenience of Bart, I have added this post to the blogroll.

718. Wickedpinto - July 19, 2007

BY FRIGGEN CRIMINY!!!

I need to kick up my KC blogwhoring.

719. Bart - July 19, 2007

Thanks, Michael.

Sometimes it’s a pain in the ass to do a search for this post.

Your song reminds me of this song:

720. Michael - July 19, 2007

Bart’s song reminds me of this song.

721. Michael - July 19, 2007

By the way, Bart, you continue to get a trickle of hits on “Bart’s Bodybuilder Chicken.” Kind of makes me wonder what people are looking for when they see that title.

722. Bart - July 19, 2007

Then it’s a good thing I never told you where to find topless pics of myself on the internet. You surely would have accompanied the recipe with a pic.

723. Michael - July 19, 2007

Oh Bart, don’t be silly. I found that picture a long time ago.

724. Bart - July 19, 2007

Eek! You’re one click away from the right forum.

Your song reminds of this song:

725. Michael - July 20, 2007

So, Bart, you get your lovin’ on the run?

Your song reminds me of this song.

726. Bart - July 20, 2007

Wings.
Niiiiice.

I retort:

727. Michael - July 20, 2007

What? What’s that Bart?!?

You seem to be in the mood to talk about walking.

728. Michael - July 20, 2007

Bart, you think you are hot shit at finding YouTube songs, but I can do this all night.

729. Michael - July 20, 2007

Oh, Memphis was the capital of Egypt, so we’re talking about Egypt.

730. Retired Geezer - July 20, 2007

Michael, good one at #727, Walk Away Renee.
The comments are well worth reading also.
What was that, a Farfisa organ they were playing?

731. lauraw - July 20, 2007

Michael,
Can’t believe I’m typing this, but you ain’t got whatever magic Bart has for picking cool old vids.

I have to go purge now.

732. compos mentis - July 20, 2007

How does one purge after binging on a bunch of old videos?

733. Bart - July 20, 2007

Michael doesn’t understand that, as a good virtual dj, you must pick the right song for the right time.

They understood this 42 years ago…

734. cranky - July 20, 2007

It’s getting crazy in here.

735. Michael - July 20, 2007

Can’t believe I’m typing this, but you ain’t got whatever magic Bart has for picking cool old vids.

Philistine!

*Michael sulks*

736. Bad Company « Balance Sheet - July 20, 2007

[…] Jul 20th, 2007 by cranky Michael beat me to it in his competition with Bart for what song reminds someone of another song. […]

737. Michael - July 20, 2007

It’s getting crazy in here.

Cranky, I can’t argue with that.

738. Cuffy Meigs - July 20, 2007

Still sulking?

739. cranky - July 20, 2007

Is it late and you’re walking around perhaps worried about the remodeling job that never ends?

740. Bart - July 20, 2007

Charles Lane died on 7/9 and no one told me?

I predicted his death earlier this year.

Sure, he was 102. But I still predicted his death.

741. cranky - July 21, 2007

NiceDeb and/or PattyAnn wondered if you had predicted the imminent demise of Mr. Lane, Bart. Your streak continues and we are in awe of your awesomeness.
:P

742. Sobek - July 21, 2007

Bart’s prediction reminds me of this song:

743. Bart has a short attention span - July 24, 2007

Guess what series I just got from Netflix.

The Ghost Busters (1975)!

The crew from F Troop star in this zany comedy.
Larry Storch.
Forrest Whitaker.
And a guy in a gorilla suit.

That’s pretty zany, if you ask me.

744. bartwing plover - July 28, 2007

Remeber SEALS & CROFTS?

Disregard the video; it’s senseless. Just listen to the song.
(I dunno, maybe GEOFF will like it.)

745. Bart - July 28, 2007

Forrest Whitaker?

WTF was I thinking.

Of course I meant Forest Tucker.

746. Michael - July 28, 2007

Disregard the video

Whaddaya mean, disregard the video?

Dang!

(Mildly NSFW, by the way.)

747. Bart - July 28, 2007

Is it mild prOn?

Ha ha, I didn’t even watch it.

But yeah, I guess geoff would like it.

748. BrewFan - July 28, 2007

I’m listening to Clarinet Concerto/Adagio right now. Can you find that Bart? It reminds me of you-know-who.

749. BrewFan - July 28, 2007

Its nice music to listen to while I work on my MIL’s estate. Did I tell you that I have a nice lady estate attorney assisting me? She’s terrific and very thorough. She also slices like a f’n hammer when it comes to dealing with real estate brokers.

750. Bart - July 28, 2007

No, but I can offer you a better piece of music.

Jazz Suite No. 2

And here is No. 1 being ruined by, I think, a clarinet.

751. Michael - July 28, 2007

Jazz Suite No. 2 was awesome, Bart.

752. lauraw - July 30, 2007

Hello.

753. Retired Geezer - July 30, 2007

I made one of those pond filters you told me about yesterday.

The water gets pumped right into a whiskey barrel, with a liner. The water swirls around, travels through some spongy stuff and then pours out the top, back into the pond.
How important is the friendly bacteria?

754. lauraw - July 30, 2007

They feed on dead algae and other crud. As they break down the cell walls of the algae, some of the substances they release are very healthful for the pond, particularly a substance that is identical to hydrogen peroxide.

That is the stuff which kills single cell algae (the stuff that doesn’t float but turns all the water translucent green) and makes your pond look pretty.

The more surface area you can give the bacteria to live on, the better.

Sometimes we buy an enzyme/ bacteria preparation to throw into the water, and it does help digest some of the crud and stuff at the bottom of the pond. But it does nothing for green water. Nitrifying bacteria are everywhere and you don’t have to buy them.

755. lauraw - July 30, 2007

Oh, and they keep the fish from poisoning themselves with their own ammonia, too.

756. Retired Geezer - July 30, 2007

The more surface area you can give the bacteria to live on, the better.

I cut up some new ‘swamp cooler pads’ that look like they are made of artificial spongy material, (as opposed to straw pads).

So, where do I buy the friendly bacteria and what is it called?

757. lauraw - July 30, 2007

Just Paypal me $50 and I’ll send you a big box full of bacteria, pal.

I’m good that way.

758. lauraw - July 30, 2007

The box may appear to be empty and slightly damp when you get it, but trust me.

759. geoff - July 30, 2007

So, where do I buy the friendly bacteria and what is it called?

Bart.

760. Retired Geezer - July 30, 2007

Bart

Made me chuckle… several times.

OK, I sent the money to LauraW.

Bart in a box… can’t wait.

761. lauraw - July 30, 2007

*snaps on a rubber glove with dramatic flourish*

762. Retired Geezer - August 1, 2007

Hey, I made a filter for the pond.

763. lauraw - August 1, 2007

That hole-in-the pipe thing is brilliant. Wish we had thought of it when we had a similar half-barrel setup. That thing emptied back into the pond a couple times when we lost power.

Now we have a small pond dug in the ground next to the big one that serves as the upflow filter/ floating water hyacinth bed.

764. Dave in Texas - August 1, 2007

*snaps on a rubber glove with dramatic flourish*

Well there’s a sound that makes every man a little weak in the knees.

765. Retired Geezer - August 1, 2007

Believe it or not, the water looks cleaner today. I can actually see the tupperwear container that the tuber is in.

766. lauraw - August 5, 2007

Good morning, starshine!

It’s a gorgeous day here today.

767. Retired Geezer - August 5, 2007

It’s a gorgeous day here today.

It hasn’t gotten here yet.

*looking east patiently*

768. Sobek - August 6, 2007

I sunburned my scalp while hiking last Saturday. My hair protected most of my head, but not along the part. Ouchie.

769. Bart - August 6, 2007

I’m posting this here…

for posterity.

NSFW!

770. BrewFan - August 6, 2007

Are you going to spam every thread with this Bart? Frankly, its not that interesting.

771. Bart - August 6, 2007

Hey, Gore Vidal, I’ll be the judge of what is or is not interesting.

772. Lipstick - August 6, 2007

Oooo, Sobek, sunburn along the part hurts!

You keep saying to yourself that it shouldn’t be that bad, but it sucks.
Especially when you forget and run a brush or comb along it.

773. Sobek - August 6, 2007

Yes it does. And Saturday was a hot one in Las Vegas (actually I was down near Laughlin, which was a little bit worse), so I should have known better.

774. lauraw - August 6, 2007

I’ve never heard of sunburn along the part before!

But I live in New England and have hair like a mon chi chi, so.

775. Retired Geezer - August 7, 2007

Laughlin and Bullhead City are usually 10 degrees hotter than Vegas.

My memories of Laughlin; a zillion cars trying to negotiate one flippin main road.

776. compos mentis - August 7, 2007

I’ve never heard of sunburn along the part before!

Geezer, you have any problem with the part in your hair getting sunburned? Yeah, me neither.

777. Retired Geezer - August 7, 2007

Uh, ‘part’, is that the place between the remaining follicles?

778. Sobek - August 7, 2007

There’s a mountain called Spirit Peak, which is just outside of Laughlin. On a clear day, you can supposedly see mountain ranges in three different states (Nevada, California, Arizona and Utah), but it was too hazy to see Utah when I was there. The view was still magnificent. There were maybe six hawks up there that flew really close to us. It was way cool.

779. compos mentis - August 7, 2007

Speaking of Utah, I may be heading to Salt Lake City in October. Isn’t one of you guys in that area?

780. Retired Geezer - August 8, 2007

That would be Doctor Skinbad.
Ask him for a tour of The Hive.

781. Pupster - August 8, 2007

Compos,
Don’t sign anything.

782. Dave in Texas - August 8, 2007

Don’t spend a lot of time looking for liquor stores.

783. compos mentis - August 8, 2007

Uh oh. I was already told there’s not much to do in SLC. If I can’t even drink, what the hell am I going to do??

784. compos mentis - August 8, 2007

What’s The Hive ?

785. Dave in Texas - August 8, 2007

uhm…

786. Not Dave in Texas - August 8, 2007

Don’t lick your car!

787. skinbad - August 8, 2007

Compos, generally speaking, out toilet facilities are quite good. I can also see that you’re loaded up with as much free reading material as you would like. I’m about 2 hours from SLC. If work allows, the baconators are on me.

788. Sobek - August 8, 2007

I’m in SLC on occasion. Let me know when you’ll be there and I might buy you a baconator,* too.

* Offer applies to sandwich only. Value meals or upgrades are sole responsibility of the consumer. Offer does not include taxes. Cash value of this offer is .0000000001 cents. Not available in some states.

789. Enas Yorl - August 8, 2007

On a clear day, you can supposedly see mountain ranges in three different states (Nevada, California, Arizona and Utah)

Lawyers don’t count so good.

790. Dave in Texas - August 8, 2007

hee hee

791. kevlarchick - August 8, 2007

We’re supposed to hit 100 degrees today and tomorrow, which has not happened here since 1999. Some hot.

792. BrewFan - August 8, 2007

Global Warming!!11!!11

793. Dave in Texas - August 8, 2007

I haven’t checked since last week, but up until Friday at least, no place in Texas has hit 100 this summer. We’re flirtin with it now, since the rains have paused for a few days. 99-100 is pretty normal for Texas in August.

In unrelated news, Delta flight attendant pulled from plane in Lexington for drinking.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070806/ap_on_re_us/flight_attendant_arrested

794. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

In news related to Dave’s unrelated news, marmoset smuggled aboard plane under hat: http://perfunction.typepad.com/perfunction/2007/08/awwww-cutest-st.html

795. Sobek - August 8, 2007

“Lawyers don’t count so good.”

Crap.

796. Retired Geezer - August 8, 2007

marmoset smuggled aboard plane under hat:

That’s better than a kitten in your pants, which is how DinT normally does it.

797. Dave in Texas - August 8, 2007
798. lauraw - August 8, 2007

I smell a Lifetime Movie of the Week, Dave.

Baa-aa-aa-ad Witness

Not without My Fodder

799. BrewFan - August 8, 2007

I smell a Lifetime Movie of the Week, Dave.

Me and Ewe

800. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Shear Terror

801. skinbad - August 8, 2007

Lambo

802. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

The Burning Ba-aa-ad

803. daveintexas - August 8, 2007

Don’t listen to them lyin-ass sheep.

804. lauraw - August 8, 2007

A Mutton For Punishment

805. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Sheeping With the Enemy

806. Retired Geezer - August 8, 2007

I have obtained actual SFW photos of Dave in Action.

807. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Mommy Shearest

808. BrewFan - August 8, 2007

Silence of the Lambs

What?!

809. BrewFan - August 8, 2007

Sheeper

Starring Wooly Allen

810. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

The Incredible Wool-liteness of Being

811. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Dye Hard

812. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Cuffy’s killing me!

813. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Lambshank Redemption

814. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Dirty Hairy Sheep

815. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Men In Black Sheep

816. geoff - August 8, 2007

Veal Genius

817. lauraw - August 8, 2007

My Big Fat Greek Sheep

818. lauraw - August 8, 2007

I’m gonna have to call that a technical foul, Geoff

819. skinbad - August 8, 2007

A Fist Full of Lanolin

820. geoff - August 8, 2007

What’d I do this time?

821. skinbad - August 8, 2007

Lard of the Flies doesn’t quite work either

Tallow Hal

822. geoff - August 8, 2007

DinTX sings the national anthem:

…o’er the ram parts we watched

823. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Veal ain’t the same critter.

LOL Skinbad! Argh. Been trying to figure out how to work lanolin into one of these.

824. Retired Geezer - August 8, 2007

Like water for wool.

825. Retired Geezer - August 8, 2007

The Barn Supremacy

826. geoff - August 8, 2007

Oops – you’re completely right. Food has always been my bane. Well, that and medical stuff. Yes, food and medical stuff have always been my two banes. Plus fashion, of course. OK, so my three banes are food, medical stuff, and fashion…

827. Retired Geezer - August 8, 2007

^ and Music?

828. skinbad - August 8, 2007

I’m going rural on you now:

Dockstoppers

R.G. can explain.

829. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Tango & Cashmere

830. lauraw - August 8, 2007

12 Angry Sheep
Raiders of the Lost Sheep
The Usual Sheep

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Sheep

831. skinbad - August 8, 2007

Wool Rider

832. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Cuffy’s in the zone.

833. skinbad - August 8, 2007

After Dark, My Sweet

What?

834. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Merino Royale

835. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

<The Gabardine Candidate

836. geoff - August 8, 2007

Mutton Rouge

837. lauraw - August 8, 2007

The Saltlick on The Bridge Over The River Kwai

838. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

All About Ewe

839. geoff - August 8, 2007

Good Will Herding

840. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Wool Metal Jacket

841. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Steven Seagal is…Humping A Sheep While Eating A Turkey Leg

842. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

The Shorn Identity

843. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Fleece Academy 3: Baaaack In Training

844. compos mentis - August 8, 2007

You guys are killing me.

The Good, the Baaaaaaad, and the Ugly.

845. compos mentis - August 8, 2007

National Lambchop’s Vacation

846. compos mentis - August 8, 2007

I Know What Sheep You Did Last Summer

847. compos mentis - August 8, 2007

or I know what ewe did last summer

848. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Shaveheart

849. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Some Like It Hot And It’s Pretty Hot Inside A Sheep

850. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Wool Hand Luke

851. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Dial S For Sheep-Fucking

852. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

12 Angora Men

853. skinbad - August 8, 2007

Locked Stock and Two Smoking Bedrolls

Brokeback Mutton

854. lauraw - August 8, 2007

Fodder Of The Bride

855. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Brokeback Mutton, Fodder of the Bride—HA!

856. lauraw - August 8, 2007

NICE, skinbad!

857. lauraw - August 8, 2007

NICE, skinbad!

858. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

All Quiet on the Worsted Front

859. lauraw - August 8, 2007

??

860. PattyAnn - August 8, 2007

The Shearing

Re-baaaaa-ca

Hot Fuzz (is this one cheating?)

861. PattyAnn - August 8, 2007

In The Bleat Of The Night

862. Dave in Texas - August 8, 2007

where have I been today?

The Wackiest Sheep in the Army

Who’s Afraid of Virginia’s Wool?

The Ruminant

863. geoff - August 8, 2007

In The Bleat Of The Night

Good ‘un.

864. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Finding Neverlanolin

865. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

Captain Corelli’s Lanolin

866. PattyAnn - August 8, 2007

Lambada, the Forbidden Dance

That’s all I got. Cuffy, you’re amazing.

867. lauraw - August 8, 2007

City Slickers II: Legend Of Curly’s Hole

868. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

{sheepishly} Thanks, PattyAnn!

869. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

GAAAAH! Curly’s Hole!!

870. geoff - August 8, 2007

Pasture, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

871. skinbad - August 8, 2007

Yeah. I think I’m done.

*hat’s off to Cuffy*

872. PattyAnn - August 8, 2007

LOL @ Curly’s Hole

873. geoff - August 8, 2007

I agree, skinbad – Cuffy dominated the pun genre. I particularly liked 12 Angora Men and Merino Royale.

874. lauraw - August 8, 2007

I’m done too. Haven’t got a bit of work done today!

875. Cuffy Meigs - August 8, 2007

I have so much work to do…

876. geoff - August 8, 2007

Lessee, browse the web a little more or do a boring microchannel cooler design?

Hmm, I wonder what’s going on over at Ace’s . . .

877. BrewFan - August 8, 2007

Good work, Cuffy!

878. Michael - August 8, 2007

Cuffy:

I tip my hat to you, sir.

879. retiredgeezer - August 8, 2007

Lambskin – the Cuffy Connection

880. bartwing plover - August 9, 2007

Here are a couple of awesomely uplifting songs from the awesome and spiritual, late, Billy Preston. Put your hands in the air and celebrate life, my little birdies.


(pay no attention to the dood playing the guitar — he’s a nobody)

And this is an old standby sing-a-long favorite:

881. Bart - August 9, 2007

At the very very end of the first song, Eric Clapton breaks into a different tune on his guitar.

Do y’all know what it is?

I’ll post it in a minute as soon as I can find it.

882. Cuffy Meigs - August 9, 2007

Sunshine of Your Love

That’s when Jimmy decided to whack everyone in Goodfellas.

883. Bart - August 9, 2007

Indeed it is, Cuffys!

Or, you can watch The Master perform it (no lyrics)

884. kashifalvi - August 18, 2007

did the song get an award yet ……???

885. Retired Geezer - August 18, 2007

did the song get an award yet

*puffs out scrawny chest with pride*

Well, yeah, for the most comments on a Music Video (long form), at Innocent Bystanders.

So we got that going for us.

886. Retired Geezer - August 21, 2007

Mrs. Geezer and I just got back from a City Council meeting.

It lasted 5 hours!

The last item on the agenda concerned the 378 acres to the east of Camp Geezer.

Bottom line… nuttin’ happenin’ for 7-10 years.

*breathes sigh of relief*

887. lauraw - August 21, 2007

What progress/ possible source of jobs did you Geezers squash now?

888. Wall Mart - August 21, 2007

Coming soon…

889. The Sewage Plant - August 21, 2007

I’ll be back.

890. Parking Garage - August 21, 2007

You can’t hold be down forever!

891. Vast Pointless Wilderness of Dirt And Scrub - August 21, 2007

Me and Geezers, BFF!!!1!!

892. Trailer Park - August 21, 2007

Hey, neighbor!

893. Trailer Court - August 21, 2007

What? You think you’re better ‘n me? My mobile homes are all ‘manufactured’ too, you know. And we gots wheels!

894. harrison - August 21, 2007

Damn trailers are everywhere.

895. Trailer Court - August 21, 2007

Get outa my head, Harrison.

896. harrison - August 21, 2007

Don’t you have a job or something?

897. State of Idaho Hospital for the Criminally Insane - August 21, 2007

Jason Slept Here.

898. State of Idaho Hospital for the Criminally Insane - August 21, 2007

That spam bucket is driving me…well…crazy!

899. Camp Casey North - August 21, 2007

All We Are Saying
Is Give Peace a Chance

900. Secret Government Chemical Testing Facility - August 21, 2007

Look, you don’t see anything, if you know what’s good for you.

901. Future Location of the Annual Aceapalozza Festival - August 21, 2007

You bastard. You think you can keep them out of here forever?

902. Area 52 - August 21, 2007

It’s perfect!!!

903. The Go Kart Track - August 21, 2007

Hey Horses, wanna race?

904. Cubs World Series Victories - August 21, 2007

Hah! I’ve got you all beat!

905. Nuclear Waste Facility - August 21, 2007

Our half-life is longer then yours; we’ll be back!

906. The Pig Farm - August 21, 2007

They didn’t like us next to the mosque.
They tried to kick us out of Texas.

How are the tax laws in Idaho?

907. PETA Headquarters - August 21, 2007

Are there any fuzzy animals to save?

908. Teeth In Arkansas - August 21, 2007

Pikers!

909. Fuzzy Animals. - August 21, 2007

Don’t worry, we got it covered.

910. Paris Hilton - August 21, 2007

Is there Real Trendy Shopping nearby?

911. eddiebear - August 21, 2007

^And what do you consider “trendy”?

912. The Guy who takes the photos of nude people - August 21, 2007

Looks like a very photogenic place.

913. Retired Geezer - August 21, 2007

And what do you consider “trendy”?

Hell, we got Wal*Mart, Target AND Penneys.

914. Retired Geezer - August 21, 2007

Speaking of Blog Pimping Music Videos…

I already emailed this to some of you.

Fun, Fun, Fun with the Geezers.

915. Howler Monkey Refuge & MeowMix Plant, LLC - August 21, 2007

Did I miss something?

916. Truck Stop / Porn Shop - August 21, 2007

One stop shopping. Not so clean restrooms.

917. pony - August 21, 2007

pony hate truck

918. One Truck Pony - August 21, 2007

How feel bout camel

919. pony - August 21, 2007

Camel is slut

920. Al-Jihad Victory of Islam Mosque and Train-...er, Cultural Centre - August 21, 2007

Looks like a nice plot of land.

First the Geezers’, then the world caliphate! Ulululululululu!

921. Our Lady of Mecca (a future apparition) Cathedral Basilica - August 21, 2007

You go ahead, Mo; you just go on ahead.

922. Tushar D - August 21, 2007

900+ Comments?
WTF happened here?

923. Pony - August 21, 2007

WTF happened here?

Michael gone.
We play.

924. pony - August 21, 2007

THAT NOT ME

925. LOLPONY - August 21, 2007

Iz n ur komintz
bein ur sokpupet

926. Brewfan's couch - August 22, 2007

Halp! k?

927. compos mentis - August 22, 2007

This thread has degenerated into nothing more than idiotic drivel put forth by drooling retards.

Thought I’d come in sounding like Michael since I know we all miss him so muAHAHAHAAAHAAAA. Yeah, couldn’t say that with a straight face.

928. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2007

miss who?

929. harrison - August 22, 2007

This thread has degenerated into nothing more than idiotic drivel put forth by drooling retards.

*snif* That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.*snif*

930. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

This thread has degenerated into nothing more than idiotic drivel put forth by drooling retards.

Your point beng?

931. compos mentis - August 22, 2007

Eggzaktlee.

932. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

This thread has degenerated into nothing more than idiotic drivel put forth by drooling retards.

Well, then my job here is done.

933. BrewFan - August 22, 2007

This thread has degenerated into nothing more than idiotic drivel put forth by drooling retards.

And how exactly is this different from any other thread at IB?

934. compos mentis - August 22, 2007

Eggzacktlee.

935. lauraw - August 22, 2007

Hey wiserbud, you like motorcycles?

936. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

(I’ll bite)

Sure. Used to have a couple. Not into them as much anymore.

Why?

937. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

This thread has degenerated into nothing more than idiotic drivel put forth by drooling retards.

Wait! I think we have yet another motto for the site

938. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2007

I’ve had a couple too, but not for 20 years.

939. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

Funny how, as we get older, the thought of dying in a spectacular flaming pile of wreckage just doesn’t hold as much appeal as it used to, huh Dave?

940. Drooling Retard - August 22, 2007

This thread has degenerated into nothing more than idiotic drivel put forth by drooling retards.

Oh yeah? You’re a poopy head.

941. Observer Michael - August 22, 2007

He wiserbud, do you like gladiator movies?

942. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

Hey Michael, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

943. lauraw - August 22, 2007

Well, I’m gonna miss meeting you at Acepalooza and there’s a little social gathering in Meriden on Saturday that my hubby and I will be attending.
There will be some bikers there…

944. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

This weekend, I will have the extraordinary pleasure of attending my soon-to-be-2-year-old nephew’s birthday party in upstate NY.

Ya know, this life I lead…. it’s pretty f’in awesome.

945. compos mentis - August 22, 2007

There will be some bikers there…

…and you thought they might like to make wiserbud their bitch?

946. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

…and you thought they might like to make wiserbud their bitch?

sounds better than pissing away an entire weekend for a 2-year-old kid’s 3-hour birthday party…

947. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2007

the thought of dying in a spectacular flaming pile of wreckage just doesn’t hold as much appeal as it used to, huh Dave?

No shit. It took me 20 years to convince Mrs. D in T to let me have one again. I was all set, until a friend of mine got knocked off of his hog and creamed his knee.

It occurs to me that even if nobody hits me, my reflexes aren’t quite what they once were.

948. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

The last few times I was on a bike, I spent more time thinking about the morons who could back out of a driveway in front of me or change lanes on the highway without looking or run a stop sign, than I did enjoying the ride. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there are more of these idiots on the road every day and I’m just not as comfortable as I used to be not having the additional protection provided to me by a car.

I was real close to buying a Harley a few years back, until a friend of mine had his leg torn off by a van that turned left in front of him as he was going through an intersection.

That was it for me. No more bikes.

949. lauraw - August 22, 2007

Oh man. What the Hell is up with kid’s birthday parties these days?

I was lucky to get a cake, and people today are throwing all-day soirees for one-year olds, complete with entertainment.

You don’t need thirty adults to celebrate a kid’s birthday. And all the damn toys….I swear these people are just selling most of them on Ebay.

950. Retired Geezer - August 22, 2007

Mrs. Geezer and I still have our dirt bikes, actually they are “Trials Bikes”.

Here’s an entertaining video of stuff neither one of us could do.

951. skinbad - August 22, 2007

I almost killed a biker a week ago. I was merging onto a terrible on-ramp where you get on and immediately have to jump over two lanes or you end up missing the freeway. I glanced back and saw a bike coming up fast and let him go then merged over. Well, his buddy on a second bike was riding right behind him and I didn’t see him. Luckily he had room to slide over. He gave me a look which I deserved. It’s a rotten feeling. I’ve had one and sold it. Probably won’t buy another.

952. kevlarchick - August 22, 2007

I have never ridden on a motorcycle. Not high on my list.

And kid’s parties? Waaay overdone. It seems like every year parents up the ante cause the kid expects it. Well kid, you can thank your momma for giving birth to you and give HER a gift.

953. compos mentis - August 22, 2007

Bikes don’t belong on the interstates. A la Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, they belong on back roads and two lane highways.

I was on I-95 heading into Chicago around 4 p.m. a few months ago. Traffic wasn’t bad at all and I was cruising at 80 when this crotch rocket when flying past me on the right, cut in front of me, then another one did the same. Scared the shit out of me because I had no idea they were coming. They must have been going at least 150. Seriously.

I had a bike in college. My wife says I can’t get another until our baby, who’s 7, is out of the house and no longer dependent upon me. In the meantime, I think I’m going to go the Geezer way and get a dirt bike.

954. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

My wife and her sisters are sooooooo competitive with each other. It has extended to children’s birthdays. Our daughter’s 1st birthday was at a big hall we had to rent to one up her sister. Then, we had 2 separate parties (one for each side) for her 2nd. Now, her twin sister is having her eldest son’s 3rd birthday this weekend, nd she is renting an inflatable hopper thing, animals and clowns. Oh, and no booze, which angers me.

955. Retired Geezer - August 22, 2007

My belief is that motorcycles have a built-in Cloaking Device.

People don’t see them or if they do, they don’t care because they figure they won’t get hurt because they are in a car.

I have had people pull out in front of me, twice. Good thing I was alert and going the speed limit.

956. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

We never did this for our kids. Sure, we invited the relatives and frineds that lived within 30 minutes or so, offered barbecue and beer, and just let the cousins run around and have fun together. Pretty much just a family get-together.

Now, we have to have family members travel from hours away, make an entire weekend out of it, and anyone who doesn’t show up is considered rude or uncaring. Plus, everyone just has to be involved with every single little moment of Jrs. special day. God forbid we just kick back, toss down a couple of beers and talk about baseball or something during the party. Noooooooo, we need to totally and completely be a part of the wonder and joy that is their precious one’s special day.

Ugh, I’m already getting pissed about the whole deal.

957. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

Ya think I might start something if I sent the parents to this website?

958. lauraw - August 22, 2007

Great site.

The whole phenomenon is effin’ ridiculous.

You know how your wife can ‘one-up’ her sisters next year, Eddie?
If she just has a simple affair in your kitchen for each child on their birthday, with nuclear family only, no guests. Just a nice cake and some presents and the birthday song.

When her sisters find out, they’ll be green with envy.

959. lauraw - August 22, 2007

…or would that be considered child abuse, these days?

960. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

I wish.

961. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2007

I had a bike knocked out from under me when I was 19, woman clipped my front wheel while I was just waiting to turn left. Sheesh.

On a personal note, if you have a sore knee, getting it shot up full of cortisone and lidocaine feels pretty goddang good. I almost feel like dancing.

Almost.

962. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

I was answering #958.

963. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

Bubbles!!!

964. Pupster - August 22, 2007

Rub a little paraffin on it.

965. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

What really aggravates me (besides no booze) is that I am banned from the inflatable hopper thing. Something about the time some friends and I broke the Whopper Hopper at the BK back in college.

966. wiserbud - August 22, 2007

Oh, screw that, eddie. Iffin I’m gonna really experience the whole deal, the inflatable hopper is an integral part that is not to be missed. Just be sure to toss the real little ones out first.

967. Dave in Texas - August 22, 2007

geez, I forgot all about my narco-blogging on hydrocodone and Tito’s.

The colors were spectacular.

968. skinbad - August 22, 2007

Our (little) kids get a low key “party” every other year–maybe McDonalds or swimming with their friends. The odd year it’s just a family affair. Just try to tell them they had a party last year when they didn’t. You can’t fool them for a second. I’m kind of bad at holidays all around. I really don’t feel bad about it.

969. Bubbles the Scary Clown - August 22, 2007

I work cheap.

970. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

I guess my biggest thing is that I have been told that if I do jump in the hopper and break it, I’m paying for it.

I just remember a party for my cousin back a few years ago when my uncle fell asleep during a clown show. The exchange was and still is priceless.

971. eddiebear - August 22, 2007

Oh, and skinny just reminded me. The food for this party. They’re having it catered! WTF?!?

972. skinbad - August 22, 2007

lolcollegefreshman

im on ur campuz
taken ur parkin plaz

(classes started today)

973. kevlarchick - August 22, 2007

Let the hazing begin, eh Skinny?

974. sandy burger - August 22, 2007

Many motorcycle riders annoy the crap out of me. They should go with the flow of traffic and realize that they’re harder to see, rather then stressing everyone out by driving way faster than everyone else and darting between cars like they’re invincible. Yeah, it’s their neck on the line, but it’s my peace of mind. It’s inconsiderate.

I’m in my mid thirties, and I’m already a crotchety old man.

975. geoff - August 22, 2007

(classes started today)

Mine, too. Oh my aching cerebellum.

976. BrewFan - August 22, 2007

Watch Good Morning America (not sure what morning, but soon) and you will see daughter BrewFan. She will be a little speck at the top of the D as hundreds of college students with too much time on their hands spell out UND in honor of the school’s 125th anniversary.

977. Bart - August 22, 2007

It’s probably old to y’all, but it’s first time I read it. I liked it. :D

A Diary Review: Moving South, 2007
May 30, 2007 :
Just moved to Huntsville, Alabama from Chicago, Illinois.
Now, this is a city that knows how to live!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place!
I watched the sunset from a park while lying on a blanket.
It was beautiful.
I’ve finally found my home.
I love it here.

June 14, 2007 :
Really heating up.
Got to 100 degrees today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
I’m turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30, 2007:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. The yard is a breeze to maintain!
No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but
I love living in Huntsville.

July 10, 2007 :

The temperature hasn’t been below 100 degrees all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least it’s kind of windy, but getting used to the heat and
humidity is taking longer that I expected.

July 15, 2007:

Fell asleep by the pool.
(Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson, though.
Got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

July 20, 2007:

Morgan (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000
leather upholstery.
I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now smells like Kibbles and shi**.
I learned my lesson, though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25, 2007:

The wind sucks.
It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!
And it’s hot as hell!
The home air-conditioner is on the fritz, and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order the parts.

July 30, 2007:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
The monthly house payment is $1,500 and we can’t even go inside.
Why did I ever come here?

August 4, 2007:

It’s 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today for a cost of
$900.
The temperature gets down to 78 degrees, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it’s about 95 degrees.
I hate this stupid city.

August 8, 2007:

If another wise ass person cracks, “Hot enough for
you today? I’m going to strangle him. Damn heat.
By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes
are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat

August 9, 2007:

Tried to run some errands after work.
Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the ol’ car.
I thought my ass was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

August 10, 2007:

The weather report might as well be a damn recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny.
It’s been too hot to do anything for two damn months,
and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn desert?
Water rationing will be next, so I might as well watch $1,700 worth of
cactus just dry up and blow into the damn pool.
Not even cactus can live in this damn heat.

August 14, 2007:
Welcome to HELL!!!
The temperature got to 105 degrees today.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for you today?”
My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Freaking South.

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

978. Mrs. Peel - August 22, 2007

I love the heat. There’s nothing more miserable than cold weather. Every day this week, I’ve stepped outside and thrown my arms out and my head back with a huge smile on my face, not to mention sighing with pleasure when I sit down in my toasty car. That’s so often the best moment of the day.

Around here, it’s been pleasant only these last couple of weeks. Otherwise, it’s been a miserably cold and rainy year.

979. Bart - August 22, 2007

The Texas Rangers kicked ass today.

They beat the Orioles 30 to 3!

980. Retired Geezer - August 22, 2007

Mrs. Geezer and I just got back from the Idaho Fair.
Free concert tonight – Charlie Daniels.
Great guitar player and fiddler. Excellent band.
Crowd loved him.
He really talked up the Military.
I had the pleasure of doing Lighting for him about 7 years ago. He always opened up his dressing room before the show for us to hang out and get pictures and snacks.

Tomorrow’s free concert – Josh Turner, the guy with the deep voice who sings Long Black Train.

Friday free concert – REO Speedwagon.

981. victim of a mis-spent youth - August 23, 2007

Kevin Cronin on Lead Vocals, Gary Richrath on Guitar, Neal Doughty on the keyboards, Bruce Somethinorother on the bass, and the name of the drummer as vanished into the fog.

982. Retired Geezer - August 23, 2007

I think that was the lineup the last time I worked REO. They opened for Styx.
I liked Styx better, I knew most of their songs.

983. forged rite - August 23, 2007

“Josh Turner, the guy with the deep voice who sings Long Black Train.”

That’s a great song, deserves to be linked –

Here’s a great Gary Allen song that came out about the same time –

984. Retired Geezer - August 23, 2007

FR, thanks for the excellent link.

985. Retired Geezer - August 23, 2007

And, uh, how did you dodge the Spam Filter?
Usually when you include more than one link in a comment you’re grabbed.

986. forged rite - August 23, 2007

I don’t know. It showed up right away without a problem.

987. Akismet - August 23, 2007

I just like f’n with you all.

988. compos mentis - August 23, 2007

sighing with pleasure when I sit down in my toasty car,

Agreed. Threre are times when it feels like the arctic at my desk. When I go out and get into my car, it feels good to defrost. Like a lizard on a rock.

I love the change of seasons though. The transition to jacket weather in the fall. Snow in the winter. How warm a 60 degree day feels in the spring.

989. Mrs. Peel - August 23, 2007

Yeah, my family calls me “the lizard.” The trouble is that my surface area to volume ratio is very high, so I lose heat very efficiently. (If you model the human body as a cylinder and neglect the top and bottom, then the surface area is 2*pi*r*h and the volume is pi*r^2*h, so the surface area to volume ratio varies as 2/r; so the smaller your radius, the larger your ratio.) And it doesn’t help that I have zero muscle, so my body isn’t very dense, making it even easier for me to lose heat. This is why my hands and feet are frequently cold – my body has to reduce the circulation to my extremities so I don’t lose too much heat.

All that is a long-winded way of saying that any future Mr. Peel had better be prepared to spend his nights with icy cold feet tucked between his calves.

990. kevlarchick - August 23, 2007

uh, I’m cold most of the time too.

We refer to my daughter as a lizard because she’ll eat a gigantic meal that bloats her stomach, and then she won’t eat anything for two or three days. Like a python swallowing a goat.

991. compos mentis - August 23, 2007

lol kc.

any future Mr. Peel had better be prepared to spend his nights with icy cold feet tucked between his calves.

Most guys can handle that. Especially with the surface area is 2*pi*r*h and the volume is pi*r^2*h talk. It’s provacative :)

992. eddiebear - August 23, 2007

My wife has to sleep under blankets even this time of year. She complains the house is too cold in August. And we have a brick house.

993. Dave in Texas - August 23, 2007

They beat the Orioles 30 to 3!

Somebody over at AoS told me they left 19 on too (you’d expect a high number in a game like that). Would have been interesting if they could have pulled some more clutch hitting.

Ah the Rangers. I hate being a Ranger fan.

994. eddiebear - August 23, 2007

And the best part is that the O’s were up 3-0 at one point.

Oh, and the Texas guy who pitched the last 3 innings got a save.

995. Dave in Texas - August 23, 2007

Into the 3rd inning I believe.

996. wiserbud - August 23, 2007

Seriously, Dave, 30 runs isn’t enough clutch hitting for you?

Some people are just never satisfied.

997. wiserbud - August 23, 2007

uh, I’m cold most of the time too. – Kevlarchick

c’mere, honey. I’ll warm you up.

998. BrewFan - August 23, 2007

Oh, and the Texas guy who pitched the last 3 innings got a save.

That proves what a ridiculous stat that ‘saves’ are. Nobody should get a save unless they face the batter that represents the game winning run.

999. compos mentis - August 23, 2007

Do you all realize we’re only two comments away from a 1,000 on this post?

1000. compos mentis - August 23, 2007

I knew that would happen. Brew posted before mine hit.

1001. skinbad - August 23, 2007

When (often) my wife gets cold, I can see the hair on her arms stand up. Bart would be turned off. It’s kind of a useful early warning system for me.

1002. Cuffy Meigs - August 23, 2007

When my wife starts quoting Pythagorus and reciting the quadratic equation, I turn to jelly.

1003. Retired Geezer - August 23, 2007

Especially with the surface area is 2*pi*r*h and the volume is pi*r^2*h talk. It’s provacative

Tubular, Dude.

1004. lauraw - August 25, 2007

RE # 943
K, so we just got back from the thing. With the bikers. Not ‘some’ bikers. All bikers.

I stuck out like a sore thumb in my Summer duds. There were members of two motorcycle gangs/’clubs’ there. Diablos and one other. It was a party that the owners of the Harley shop throw. I’m friends with the owner’s old lady.
I threw a $20 in the Toys for Tots thing that they do.

Everybody was very nice. Low key. Lots of wicked bikes. The guys were roaring out at intervals and going for rides, coming back, etc.

Lots of really good food too. Some of them are hunters so there were delectable venison preparations on chafing dishes.

I made fun of myself on the way back home, ‘Oh, I think I’ll change out of my work clothes. Don’t want to wear jeans to Tracy’s nice party!’ Hubby got a good laugh at that.

It’s important to get out, meet new people, gain some culture and expand your horizons.
As long as you haul ass before sunset.

1005. Retired Geezer - August 25, 2007

We went to a Biker rally recently that Mickey Jones was Emcee of.

Had a “Loudest Pipes” contest that made your heart thump. Some girl won it. They had a cop act like he was giving her a ticket. Fun stuff.

1006. Bart - August 27, 2007

Did you know there is a neat site for watching the latest movies?

It’s great if you don’t mind poor picture quality, shaky camera, and seeing the back of some a-hole’s head who can’t sit still in his fucking seat.

But seriously, it ain’t bad for sampling some movies that you really had no intention of ever watching, such as Spiderman 3, Knocked Up, Shaun of the Dead, The Simpsons, or Transformers.

I just did watch Shaun of the Dead. It was pretty good, actually.

1007. Retired Geezer - August 27, 2007

Yeah, I enjoyed uh…. appreciated Shaun of the Dead, too.

I normally don’t watch torture/slasher films. I’m more into character studies type action movies.

Heat – friggin’ great
Inside Man – Excellent

That’s just for starters.

1008. geoff - August 27, 2007

Shaun of the Dead rocked. Totally. But then I liked Resident Evil.

1009. Retired Geezer - August 27, 2007

I liked RE too but I can’t handle the movies where kids are being hurt or those Saw movies.

RE videogame on the Xbox360 and Wii were even a little too violent for me.

1010. Retired Geezer - August 27, 2007

I can’t handle the movies where kids are being hurt

Except for Jurassic Park, I was sooo rooting for the dinosaurs.

And the re-make of Invasion from Mars with Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning. Yeah and all the other movies with bonehead kids.

Wow, I just realized I hate kids.

1011. Michael - August 27, 2007

Friday free concert – REO Speedwagon.

I’m so jealous.

I heard them when I was in college. I’ll bet they still kick ass with Ridin’ The Storm Out.

1012. Daniel - August 28, 2007

TY!
I’ve went nuts looking for this song, but eventually gave up

1013. Retired Geezer - August 28, 2007

I like the intro where it sounds like the Air Raid Siren from The Time Machine.

1014. The Morlocks - August 28, 2007

I like the intro where it sounds like the Air Raid Siren from The Time Machine.

Yeah, us too.

Dinner is served.

1015. Meena the hott girl in the future - August 28, 2007

Meena scared.

1016. BrewFan - August 28, 2007

Geezer? Do you realize you’re commenting on your own comments made to a Comment on a Commenting Site? NTTAWWT.

1017. Geezer and his sockpuppets - August 28, 2007

Man, that Meena was a Babe.

I’ll be in my bunk.

1018. Retired Geezer - August 28, 2007

^ Brew, does it count if I use Mrs. Geezer’s computer part of the time?

1019. Retired Geezer - August 28, 2007

I’ll bet they still kick ass with Ridin’ The Storm Out.

That song reminds me of 2 other songs. (Isn’t that Bart’s thread?)

Don’t fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
and
(When the Bullet Hits the Bone) by Golden Earring.
Whatever the real name of that song is.

1020. BrewFan - August 28, 2007

Brew, does it count if I use Mrs. Geezer’s computer part of the time?

No, that does not count. Nor do multiple personalities. But then thats a different thread… :)

1021. compos mentis - August 28, 2007

Twilight Zone RG.

Now go launder your sockpuppets.

1022. eddiebear - August 28, 2007

Needs more cowbell.

Actually, my nephew’s party was a trip into the surreal. MySIL bought (not rented. Bought) a helium tank to inflate these 5 foot tall Micky Mouse balloons. Problem was, they were poor quality and started to explode. Then, the hopping thing was too small for any more than 3 toddlers at one time, and my SIL’s husband didn’t provide beer. And that a^&hole would sit and make fun of the gifts people bought.

Oh, but I did fall asleep for bout 30 minutes in the back rom. That was the best partof the party.

1023. eddiebear - August 28, 2007

Dammit! My keyboard is sticking. I really don’t spell this poorly.

1024. Michael - August 28, 2007

Please do not tell us how the keyboard got sticky. Please.

1025. BrewFan - August 28, 2007

I think eddie is a bean counter so his keyboard is probably just wore out from rejecting expense account reimbursement claims :)

1026. Retired Geezer - August 28, 2007

Twilight Zone

*smacks forehead*
I knew it but I kept thinking “Outer Limits”, nahh that ain’t right.

1027. Retired Geezer - August 28, 2007

…my SIL’s husband didn’t provide beer. And that a^&hole would sit and make fun of the gifts people bought.

Trouble Brewing.

1028. Retired Geezer - August 28, 2007

Oh, and one more thing, “Meena and the Morlocks” would have been a killer name for a band.

Of course you would need a chick singer.

Or not.

1029. bartwing plover - August 28, 2007

Remeber styptic pencils?

Everyone’s dad had when we we’re growing up. Nowadays, not so much.

1030. bartwing plover - August 28, 2007

Anyone care to guess a to why?

Have razors improved so much that we don’t cut ourselves, anymore?

1031. Depressed Goth Chick - August 28, 2007

Have razors improved so much that we don’t cut ourselves, anymore?

I have no trouble.

1032. Michael - August 28, 2007

Remeber styptic pencils?

Yeah, actually I have one to this day in my travel kit, just as insurance so I don’t show up for an important meeting with bits of toilet paper on my face in order to avoid bleeding like a stuck pig.

*Michael tries to expunge bad memory*

1033. Retired Geezer - August 28, 2007

What the heck is that stuff? Powdered Alum or Aluminum?

I think it’s the same stuff they put into anti-perspirant deodorants.

1034. geoff - August 28, 2007

My dad had one. I sure could use one.

Hey! Amazon’s got ‘em!

1035. kevlarchick - August 28, 2007

Quote of the day from the notorious and sometimes hilarious Uniball, over at Ace’s:

“This news is kind of a bummer but not quite big enough to make me take a break from fucking, making money, and drinking.”

1036. Retired Geezer - August 29, 2007

Might as well post this Larry Craig link here.

Scroll down to the second photo of the urinals.

1037. Bart - August 29, 2007

Okay, a few tings:

1. I watched 19 minutes of the Simpsons movie yesterday. It was just plain awful. I couldn’t take anymore mor than 19 minutes.

2. Received the 300 dvd from Netflix and watched half of it lastnight. It is awesome!

3. Here is a cute hip-hop song. Cute in a silly stupid way.

I got it from my mama
I got it from my mama
I got it from my mama

The song proves yet again that we ran out of original lyrics way back in the ’70’s, (in the ’50’s for country/western songs. The obvious exceptions are aaaayyyyyyy marcarena and who let the dogs out? WHO? WHO?, of course.

But long gone are the genius lyrics such as Freebird and Sitting on the park bench, snots running down his nose, and this classic:

They asked us to stay for tea and have some fun,
Oh, oh, he said that his friends would all drop by, ooh.
Why dont you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see,
And baby, baby, baby, do you like it?

Good stuff, indeed.

1038. Retired Geezer - August 30, 2007

I’ve seen 300 at the movies, twice. I just bought the 2-disc DVD.

It’s not for everybody but we enjoyed it.

1039. BrewFan - August 30, 2007

Bart, if the Brewers only win 80 games I’m blaming you. Just thought I’d warn you.

*starts filling Nair bottles with pepper spray*

1040. Retired Geezer - August 30, 2007

I’ll help…

*starts filling pepper spray bottles with Nair*

No, wait.

*starts filling Nair bottles with Propecia*

1041. Bugs Bunny - August 30, 2007

Acme Hair Growth Tonic ™ works better doc.

1042. Bart - August 31, 2007

Well, the Brewers are certainly doing their part to fulfill my prophecy.

Look on the bright side, Brew. They went all the way to August 30th until they got a sub-.500 record. Which is nice.

1043. Retired Geezer - September 8, 2007

Mrs. Geezer is watching some English Dog Trainer on Animal Planet.

There is a terrier who pees all over everything when the owners leave the house.
He even got up on the counter and peed on the bread box.

He’s been doing it for SEVEN YEARS.

W. T. F.

???

1044. BrewFan - September 9, 2007

Look on the bright side, Brew. They went all the way to August 30th until they got a sub-.500 record. Which is nice.

September 9th, 2007. Sole possession of first place in the NL Central. w00t!

He’s been doing it for SEVEN YEARS.
I never cease to be amazed about how indulgent people are with their pets; to the point of risking their own health and well being.

1045. BrewFan - September 17, 2007

September 17th and after tonight (fingers crossed!) we’ll be in first place. Its been 15 years since the last time September meant something to the BrewFans of the world.

Tonight will be our 77th win Mr. Bart with 13 more to play. Care to revise your prediction? :)

1046. Bart - September 17, 2007

Actually, no, I’ll stick with what I predicted.

But I do wish you and the Brewers luck; I like seeing different ball clubs in the playoffs.

More importantly, the Redskins need to win this game. Joe Gibbs deserves a big win.

1047. Bart - September 19, 2007

Does Target or WalMart replace watch batteries?

Do they sell the tools to open the watch case?

1048. composmentis - September 19, 2007

Yes. Sometimes they’ll give you the tool in order for you to remove the cover yourself. Liability issues. Bottom line, you can get it replaced at Wal*Mart or KMart. I assume Target is the same.

1049. Bart - September 19, 2007

Thanks, I’ll try Target since it’s the closest. Then I’ll report back my progress.

1050. Michael - September 19, 2007

^
I’m on the edge of my chair.

1051. compos mentis - September 19, 2007

lol. Yer such an ass Michael.

1052. Retired Geezer - September 19, 2007

Just be careful about the waterproof seal. I replaced my battery last week and didn’t get the o-ring in correctly. It leaked.

I had to take it apart, let it dry and put it back together.
Here’s a tip; put some Permatex RTV caulking around it to help.

1053. BrewFan - September 19, 2007

I like to buy watches that are so cheap that when the battery dies I just throw it away.

1054. Bart - September 19, 2007

I’ll keep the o-ring thing in mind, RG. By the way, I expected a little more from you, seeing as how you deal with o-rings a lot.

Yes, the best way to go is to buy throw-aways. But a man needs to own a decent watch. It’s a requirement by the ladies. *weeps* Why are we so oppressed by The Woman?

1055. Bart - September 19, 2007

Don’t misunderstand me. Never would I buy a Rolex or any expensive designer/name watch, no matter if I could afford it or not.

I did, however need to buy a decent watch ($250) to wear with formal clothes. My sport-watch really doesn’t go, if you know what I mean. So, Brew, geoff, and the rest of you geeks need to get rid of your Casio calculator watches when dressing up.

1056. Retired Geezer - September 19, 2007

I always bought a calculator watch, the kind that you could store telephone numbers in.
Now I store my phone numbers in… my cellphone, which also has a calculator and an alarm and date reminder.

I just buy Mud watches now but I always need the ‘Countdown Timer’ feature to remind me of ‘ongoing’ tasks. I can set it for 5 minutes when I put the hose in the horse trough. I’ve forgotten and driven away before.
There was a heck of a lot of water on the ground when I got back.

1057. Bart - September 19, 2007

So…

I went ahead and ordered pants, socks, underwear, and boots online. You might be asking yourselves, “Self, why does Bart feel so comfortable about ordering clothes and footwear online?”

Well, I find a product and I stick with it. For example, I’ve been wearing Levi’s 505s forever. I go through about 5 pairs every 2-3 years. No need for trying them on, I know exactly how they will fit.

The underwear is a different story. My usual brand/type was discontinued. Now I have to experiment with other brands. Ordering underwear online is still okay because it’s not like you can try on underwear at the store. And I’ll never return underwear, ever.

1058. Bart - September 20, 2007

For the last 6 months I’ve been wearing holey underwear, holey socks, and holey jeans. The problem is bleach, I think.

Using bleach ruins clothes. It doesn’t completely rinse from your clothes. The acid keeps deteriotating the fabric. The strange part is as soon as a hole starts, it grows exponentially. Within weeks the garment is trashed.

The first thing to go on my Levi’s?

The belt loops. Then the crotch. Then the thighs. Followed by the back pockets.

1059. compos mentis - September 20, 2007

You know what else ruins clothes? Methane.

Geezer, I hope your o-ring is doing better.

1060. Retired Geezer - September 20, 2007

Bart, don’t use so much bleach, it fades the colors. Just use a cap full to sanitize things.

I’m still on my Levi boycott. Can’t remember why anymore.

I only buy Wranglers now, because that’s what the Bull Riders wear and I want some associative Testosterone.

Oh and Carharts. That stuff wears like iron.

1061. Dave in Texas - September 20, 2007

there’s something very predictable about 505s. I can buy them anywhere and they always fit, exactly like all the others.

I don’t bleach anything though, when my undershirts start to look a little less white, I toss em.

I’ve bought clothes online for years, there’s a certain brand of dress trousers that have been good to me for a long time. I also have dress shirts made (when they do the buy 3 get 4 deal at P Frederick).

1062. Bart - September 20, 2007

In the past week, I heard 2 people pronounce the word clandestine as CLAN-des-tyne. I pronounce it clan-DES-tin and have always heard it pronounced that way.

1063. Karnac - September 20, 2007

Your pronunciation is correct spy breath

1064. Bart - September 20, 2007

I just got a mad craving for a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich with a glass of milk.

I haven’t had a glass of milk in years.

1065. Retired Geezer - September 20, 2007

I haven’t had a glass of milk in years.

Really?
I used to drink milk a lot until about 5 years ago.

I still enjoy it occasionally, especially with cookies.

How can you eat a Peanut Butter sandwich without a glass of milk?
Isn’t that a law or something?

1066. Lipstick - September 20, 2007

Why would you bleach jeans?

1067. Bart - September 20, 2007

Good question.

I think another guy told me it was good to use a little bleach in every load of laundry.

1068. sandy burger - September 21, 2007

I haven’t had a glass of milk in years.

Me neither. I can’t stand the stuff, especially the way it coats the inside of my throat.

Know what else I haven’t had in years? A pair of jeans. I’ve been a slack man, ever since I was a teenager. Only difference is, when I was a teenager, my slacks were baggier.

1069. Retired Geezer - September 21, 2007

good to use a little bleach in every load of laundry.

I can see using a cap full just to kill random bacteria but using a lot will really fade out your colors.

1070. compos mentis - September 21, 2007

Why would you bleach jeans?

Garbage farts.

1071. Bart - September 21, 2007

I just got a craving for a Digiorno’s Supreme pizza.
For a frozen pizza, they’re pretty good.

I think my current diet of chicken breast every single night for the last 5 months is starting to have a backlash effect on me. I’m craving foods I haven’t had in a long time. <—brilliant conclusion, huh?

*No, this has nothing to do with the comment above.

1072. pajama momma - September 21, 2007

I just got a craving for a Digiorno’s Supreme pizza.

That’s what I’m having tonight. Uh except mine’s just cheese.
I don’t know whether you’ll even see this or not,but I’m currently training for a 1/2 marathon and I heard you work out. Any advice on eating. Or do I need chicken every night till I run in February?

1073. Bart - September 21, 2007

Well, chicken is very high in protein and low in fat. Ideally, you want to have a clean diet, no matter for what type of physical acvtivity you’re preparing.

I think if you eliminate ALL of the junk food, dairy products, and bread, you should be good to go. :D

1074. pajama momma - September 21, 2007

ha! You didn’t say beer. I’m ok then

1075. Bart - September 21, 2007

Wow, a 1/2 marathon?

Dang, that’s still 13 miles!

1076. kevlarchick - September 21, 2007

Alcohol in all forms is very clean. Vodka especially.

1077. pajama momma - September 21, 2007

I’m too much of a wuss to do the whole marathon. Or I’d be doing some serious bragging. I’ve been using a personal trainer since March, but now I’m on my own. Well, except for the other people doing the training with me

I wish I could do hard alcohol, but I”m not a pretty drunk when I do that. Let’s just say I’ve broken my nose three times and don’t want to do it again.

1078. daveintexas - September 21, 2007

Bart, do chocolate dude. Lots and lots of milk chocolate.

Look what it did for Belushi man.

1079. BrewFan - September 21, 2007

Wow, pjm! When you drink do you start bar-room brawls?

1080. pajama momma - September 21, 2007

No, wah! I’m a klutz

1081. Bart - September 21, 2007

I bought the pizza, but I also bought 3 racks (3.18lbs) of pork loin back ribs. The pizza is in the freezer. The ribs are now slowly cooking on my grill as I write this.

Fuck you, chicken!. I need a break from your tasteless white meat.

1082. lauraw - September 21, 2007

Bart, I suspect you’ve been adding bleach directly to the washer while it’s full of clothes. Could be wrong.

I only use bleach on whites/ lights. I add the bleach to the water in the beginning of the fill, and then add the clothes later, when the basket is at least half full of water. It’s a paranoia thing. When I lived with my grandmother, she had a 1960’s washing machine that would absolutely grind up clothing. I had to learn the gentlest way to treat everything.

Even though my new machine has an auto-dispenser for bleach, I don’t use it because it adds the bleach while the clothes are churning. All it takes is one direct drop to eat a hole in your duds.

1083. Retired Geezer - September 21, 2007

I use the same method for adding bleach. I also have another little trick that I do with the fabric softener dispenser which sits on top of the agitator.
While the empty washer is filling, I take two capfuls of water and put them in the fabric softener dispenser. Then I add a capful of the FS and fill it up to the line with more water.
Why? because the FS in undiluted form could clog the holes in the dispenser. By adding the water first, I avoid that possibility.

Yours very truly,
Martha Geezer

1084. Bart - September 22, 2007

I add the bleach (about a capfull) while the washer is filling. When the washer stops filling, I add the detergent. Clothes are added last. Why?

Because when the agitator is running, the clothes will distribute themsleves evenly, thus creating a balanced load.

1085. lauraw - September 22, 2007

You’re so wise.

Like a tiny Buddha, covered with hair.

1086. Mrs. Peel - September 22, 2007

lauraw, heh.

Well, time to study for my math test.

1087. Dave in Texas - September 22, 2007

Get one of these and you’ll never worry about adding things or balanced loads again.

http://www.whirlpool.com/catalog/product.jsp?src=WASHERS&cat=115&prod=1005

Less water used, less fuss. And bonus, spin speed is higher than standard top loaders, so drying time is cut by 30-40%. You can dry a load in the same time it takes for you to wash one.

1088. lauraw - September 22, 2007

The belt loops. Then the crotch. Then the thighs. Followed by the back pockets.

Wear patterns on jeans are oddly interesting to me. My best girlfriend always gets a little threadbare spot in the same place several inches to the left of her zipper. This happens on all different brands of jeans and even some heavy slacks.

She has no idea how she is making this happen.

Mine go at the knees everytime. Gardening.

1089. daveintexas - September 22, 2007

I’m sure it’s some combination of body shape and predominate movement patterns… probably TMI but back when I was even fatter than I am now, the first place to go was always upper inner thigh.

Now it seems to be the place where the back pocket is sewn to the seat of the jeans, the top points left and right. I got no clue.

1090. lauraw - September 22, 2007

Must be making contact with chairs there.

1091. daveintexas - September 22, 2007

Funny, I’ve been sitting here analyzing it a bit, when I sit down, the seat of my jeans is pulled downward a bit in the back, I think it’s just that extra little tug that shows itself as the fabric ages and weakens, and that’s the first place that begins to show it.

It’s science.

1092. Retired Geezer - September 22, 2007

Mine go at the knees everytime.

Mine too, now it’s kneeling down fixing sprinks but before it was always kneeling down plugging in stage lights.

Oh yeah and right front pocket where my self-defense tool clips.

1093. Retired Geezer - September 22, 2007

I posted a picture of Mrs. Geezer, topless, on my moronblog. It’s back in her Mud Wrestling days and it’s SFW.

Is anybody besides WP gonna be suckered into going?

1094. Bart - September 22, 2007

Well, for me it’s understandable why the crotch area wears out so quickly. I’m not sure about the beltloops, though.

when I was even fatter than I am now

Dude, you’re not fat. You were a lot trimmer than I had anticipated.

1095. daveintexas - September 22, 2007

Thanks pal. I’m not bitchin, I feel one helluva lot better about myself at 48 and almost 80 pounds lighter than I did at 45.

Let’s just say I’m not quite where I want to be, but I can see the goal line.

I hope Romo can see it tomorrow too.

oh, and if you want the memorial Dave and Bart Palooza photograph, email me at gooberintexas -at- gmail -dot- com

we look good.

Is anybody besides WP gonna be suckered into going?

uh, yes. should I apologize now, or later? and will this mess up any squishy hugs I was so looking forward to?

1096. Michael - September 22, 2007

I posted a picture of Mrs. Geezer, topless, on my moronblog.

RG, your blog pimping has hit a new low.

*Michael wonders how to get a topless picture of Mrs. Michael*

1097. lauraw - September 22, 2007

for me it’s understandable why the crotch area wears out so quickly

Yeah, well, you should stop doing that in public.

1098. Retired Geezer - September 22, 2007

the crotch area wears out so quickly

Might want to have the Ph tested on your urine.

Just sayin’

1099. lauraw - September 22, 2007

Listen to Geez, he knows.

Crotch-rot is no laughing matter, son.

1100. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman - September 22, 2007

Tonight, you men will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl’s name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol’ Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You’re married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful.

1101. harrison - September 22, 2007

Damn, Sarge. That’s just sick.

1102. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman - September 22, 2007

WHO SAID THAT? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT? WHO’S THE SLIMY LITTLE COMMUNIST SHIT, TWINKLE-TOED COCKSUCKER DOWN HERE WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT? NOBODY, HUH? THE FAIRY FUCKING GODMOTHER SAID IT. OUT-FUCKING-STANDING. I WILL PT YOU ALL UNTIL YOU FUCKING DIE. I’LL PT YOU UNTIL YOUR ASSHOLES ARE SUCKING BUTTERMILK

[grabs Harrison by the shirt] WAS IT YOU, YOU SCROUNGY LITTLE FUCK, HUH?

1103. lauraw - September 23, 2007

Dude, chill.

*waves a Kit-Kat bar under Gunny’s nose*

Buddy. That’s good chocolate. And crispy wafers.
Hey.

More to life, man.

1104. harrison - September 23, 2007

Thanks, Lauraw.
That guy’s wound way too tight.

1105. lauraw - September 23, 2007

You got it toots.

1106. daveintexas - September 23, 2007

mmmm, kit kats!

anybody want to read some poems?

1107. mesablue - September 23, 2007

A Tragedy
Theophilus Marzials

Death!
Plop.
The barges down in the river flop.

Flop, plop.

Above, beneath.
From the slimy branches the grey drips drop,
As they scraggle black on the thin grey sky,
Where the black cloud rack-hackles drizzle and fly
To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop
On the black scrag piles, where the loose cords plop,
As the raw wind whines in the thin tree-top.

Plop, plop.

And scudding by
The boatmen call out hoy! and hey!
All is running water and sky,

And my head shrieks — “Stop,”

And my heart shrieks — “Die.”
* * * * *
My thought is running out of my head;
My love is running out of my heart,
My soul runs after, and leaves me as dead,
For my life runs after to catch them — and fled
They all are every one! — and I stand, and start,
At the water that oozes up, plop and plop,
On the barges that flop
And dizzy me dead.
I might reel and drop.
Plop.
Dead.
And the shrill wind whines in the thin tree-top
Flop, plop.
* * * * *
A curse on him.
Ugh! yet I knew — I knew —
If a woman is false can a friend be true?
It was only a lie from beginning to end —

My Devil — My “Friend”
I had trusted the whole of my living to!

Ugh; and I knew!

Ugh!

So what do I care,
And my head is empty as air —

I can do,

I can dare,

(Plop, plop

The barges flop

Drip drop.)

I can dare! I can dare!
And let myself all run away with my head
And stop.

Drop.

Dead.

Plop, flop.
Plop.

1108. daveintexas - September 23, 2007

*one hand clapping*

awesome

1109. lauraw - September 23, 2007

I recognize that style of poetry.

That there is midnight on Thursday with Canadian Whisky-head.
Unmistakeable.

1110. daveintexas - September 23, 2007

CILL, My landlord

1111. Michael - September 23, 2007

My bet:

Theophilus Marzials = Mesablue in high school when he was a member of the Poetry Society.

That’s almost as pathetic as playing a clarinet in the Boy Scout Marching Band.

Yo Mesa, we’re you also in the A/V Club? You know, those guys who pushed the projector carts between classrooms.

1112. Michael - September 23, 2007

Dang, I just googled Theophilus Marzials, and there is a real poet who wrote that crap. There goes my theory about Mesablue.

That’s OK. I say Mesa is a nancy boy just because he knew about it.

CILL, My landlord

Dave, would you please switch to intelligible English for a change?

1113. daveintexas - September 24, 2007

Dude, you don’t remember Eddie Murphy doing that bit?

Random fun facts about Dave in Texas

#23 I have to trim my nails about once every 7-10 days.

#38 I also need a haircut about every 3-4 weeks. Stuff grows fast.

Pity that doesn’t trend elsewhere.

1114. harrison - September 24, 2007

You need to take that nail-trimmer to your upper lip.
Just sayin’.

1115. Bart - September 25, 2007

676. lauraw – July 15, 2007
Is Bart your real first name?

Because I feel you as more of a ‘Thomas.’

Yes. Just Bart. Not Bartholomew.

You’re more of a “lisa” than a lauraw. Or maybe a Christine.

1116. Bart - September 25, 2007

stupid non-working quote feature

1117. lauraw - September 25, 2007

Huh.

My sister’s name is Christina, and we’re pretty much opposites.

1118. Retired Geezer - September 25, 2007

Hey Bart, I showed you mine, when do I get to see yours?

Photo, that is.

DinT needs your approval.

1119. Bart - September 25, 2007

Ya, go ahead Dave.

Hey, I got some of my new underwear today. Not really happy with them. One of the underwear is striped – vertically. They look like a 1920’s men’s swimsuit. :(

And I’m too fat to fit into mediums. :( :(

1120. Michael - September 25, 2007

I don’t really care what Bart looks like.

Unless, of course, the pic shows Bart in a Speedo and oiled so that we can appreciate his smooth hairless physique.

1121. Bart - September 25, 2007

*cringes*

We can forget about me posting a pic in my new underwear.

1122. mesablue - September 25, 2007

I wanna see. Not the oily stuff, though. We’ll leave that for Rosetta who is now officially a Hostage. Feel free to make him unwelcome.

1123. daveintexas - September 25, 2007

I don’t think you people can handle him.

He’s like the Rock. With a bad attitude.

Fat? Where? I looked pal, I didn’t see an ounce.

(oh shit I was checkin Bart out)

1124. Michael - September 25, 2007

Maybe, Bart, my previous comment is subject to misinterpretation. I assumed you would recognize that I have an aesthetic interest only. Surely that is clear.

1125. daveintexas - September 25, 2007

crawfishing Michael.

I understand. He’s a stud.

Still… *frowns

1126. lauraw - September 25, 2007

BUNK

1127. daveintexas - September 25, 2007

yeah, total bunk

1128. lauraw - September 25, 2007

Fat? Where? I looked pal, I didn’t see an ounce.

You should have grabbed his ass. Ace called me to tell me that Bart has an enormous amount of jiggly fat on his ass. Said it was disgusting.

In the background of the phone call, it sounded like somebody was hitting a raw chicken with a spatula, really fast.

Aaaanyway.

1129. Bart - September 25, 2007

Oy, what’s this about, now?

Cheeky monkeys.

1130. Michael - September 25, 2007

In the background of the phone call, it sounded like somebody was hitting a raw chicken with a spatula, really fast.

That’s actually a very good way to tenderize a chicken. It gives the meat a particularly pleasant texture.

Just in case you hear that at my house.

1131. daveintexas - September 25, 2007

jiggly fat on his ass

that might have been mine.

1132. Bart - September 25, 2007

I haven’t posted good music vids in a while.

Here’s a fun song to sing in the shower. If you’ve ever had or have an Italian grandparent, this song will be very familiar.
Here’s a hint: Nel blu di pinto di blu

Do you know what it is?

1133. Bart - September 25, 2007

^^^

Chrysler named a car after that frikkin song!

1134. Michael - September 25, 2007
1135. Michael - September 25, 2007

In fact, the version by the all-girl Vanilla Mood strings from Japan is better.

In short, Bart, you picked the absolute worst version of that song which is available on YouTube.

1136. daveintexas - September 25, 2007

oh duh, Volare. woh oh

1137. Bart - September 25, 2007

Are you frikkin high, Michael?

I posted the original Italian version; the timeless classic.
You crazy.

I got one word for you: sonorific.
You can’t criticize ANYBODY’s choice of music.

1138. Bart - September 25, 2007

Another thing: I was raised to believe that there were two kinds of people in this world: Italians (particularly Sicilians) and everyon else.

You, Michael, are definitetely not Italian.

1139. Michael - September 25, 2007

Bart, you are a cultural Philistine. I weep to think that my most excellent musical selections from Sonific have been offered to you. It has been a vain exercise. I have been casting pearls before swine, in the forlorn hope that I could expand your musical horizons.

1140. TattooedIntellectual - September 25, 2007

That Vanilla Mood shit is scary!!!

1141. Michael - September 25, 2007

Just watch those Japanese girls rock out to “Volare”, and you will see that the original Italian version is a piece of crap. You know nothing about music, my friend.

1142. TattooedIntellectual - September 25, 2007

Those Japanese girls look like they’re on a serious number of legal and illegal drugs and somebody is playing puppetmaster. It’s just weird.

1143. Michael - September 25, 2007

That Vanilla Mood shit is scary!!!

Are you kidding? You must be another cultural Philistine.

When I see these young Japanese women performing with such skill and musical artistry, I cannot help but be overwhelmed by the conclusion that I’d hit it they are truly great musicians.

1144. daveintexas - September 25, 2007

waits for the sequitor

1145. geoff - September 25, 2007

That’s actually a very good way to tenderize a chicken.

The ever-changing lexicon of IB. First we had “bury the duck.” Now…

1146. TattooedIntellectual - September 25, 2007

Skill and musical artistry. Is that what you call looking almost exactly like anime? And yep, call me a cultural philistine. Besides, I prefer Paolo Conti.

1147. daveintexas - September 25, 2007

I look nothing like that.

1148. Bart - September 25, 2007

Moving on…

Let’s switch gears and listen to something fun.
This video is a familiar song, but this version is much less gay.

1149. Bart - September 25, 2007

Did I say less gay?

Oops.

1150. geoff - September 25, 2007

That was awful, Bart, though I’ll admit I bailed after 45 seconds.

1151. Bart - September 25, 2007

Only 45 seconds?
Shoulda given it 58 seconds. You woulda heard the nifty chorus.

1152. geoff - September 25, 2007

Couldn’t take her delivery, even with her writhing about on the stage. I’d much prefer Japanese anime girls.

1153. Bart - September 26, 2007

I can’t get used to these contact lenses. I thought after a few days I wouldn’t notice them. But they just don’t feel comfortable. It’s annoying. Is this normal?

Peel mentioned that she tried several brands/types. How long does it take to know they suck? In other words, after, say, 8 hours of discomfort, can I say they suck and I want different lenses?

1154. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

Have you ever worn contacts before? If you’ve never worn them before it could take a week or two to get used to them.

If you’ve worn contacts and you’ve had 8 hours of discomfort then there’s something wrong.

1155. Bart - September 26, 2007

It’smy first pair, pj.
I’m on day 10; they still suck.

1156. lauraw - September 26, 2007

I’ve never felt uncomfortable in lenses unless they were momentarily dry, or there was a foreign object/ dust on the lens.

How permeable are they?

1157. compos mentis - September 26, 2007

You don’t have them in backwards do you?

1158. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

I think they’re no bueno bart
seriously
are they soft or hard? softs the way to go. even if you have astigmatism they have soft for people now.
It’s true that you can put them on inside out and it hurts like a beeyotch when you do that and they have to be oh so clean as well

1159. lauraw - September 26, 2007

That is so painful he wouldn’t have been able to stand it for a second.

1160. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

I’ve gone a day with it and just thought my eye was irritated
Hey. I never said I was a bright one ok?

1161. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

you’re right though lauraw, nobody’s retarded enough to put it in backwards for 10 days, right?

1162. Cathy - September 26, 2007

Bart — I’m thinkin, those contacts aren’t good for you.

Suggest you get back to the eye-doctor or wherever and have them try a different type.

I tried 3-4 different types before I found ones I really liked. Mr. Michael and I both use Focus Night & Day — we leave them in for months, sleep in them, etc. They don’t irritate — in fact we don’t even feel them in.

1163. Bart - September 26, 2007

How permeable are they?

I have no ideer. They are Acuvue Oasys.

http://www.acuvue.com/acuvue_oasys.htm

You don’t have them in backwards do you?

No. The backwards thing was explained and shown to me by the nice people at Pearle Vision.

are they soft or hard?

You mean the lenses, right?
Yeah, they’re soft.

1164. Bart - September 26, 2007

filter ate my comment

1165. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

ditch the lenses

1166. Bart - September 26, 2007

Cathy, I think Peel uses the same brand, Focus. They are made by Ciba Vision?

I think the Pearle I go to only carries Acuvue.

1167. Bart - September 26, 2007

I’ll try again…

How permeable are they?

I dunno. They are called Acuvue Oasys.

You don’t have them in backwards do you?

No. That was explained to me when I got the lenses.

1168. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

I wear acuvue2 ‘s and I love them. All a matter of personal preference

1169. Cathy - September 26, 2007

Bart
Ditto with pajama momma — ditch em things, honey!

You are right — Ciba Vision. But we go to Pearle and were able to get the Focus Night & Day kind.

BTW — I’ve been stupid enough to put my L in my R and my R in my L. It hurt, but I kept puttin up with it for a few days thinking it was allergens or dust in the air. Duh! No wonder I couldn’t see well!

You could try taking them out, cleaning them and switching them in your eyes just to see if this is the problem.

1170. daveintexas - September 26, 2007

Both my kids wear acuvue2, they seem to like them.

I haven’t tried contacts in 20 years, and back then they sucked. I never got used to them.

In 1987 I had radial-keratotomy, and didn’t need glasses for 15 years… then the reading thing started up, and my distance vision weakened a bit, enough for some correction. Oh well, it was a good run while it lasted.

Now? trifocals. bottom for reading, middle for computer work and a little distance at the top. They’re so much lighter than the heavy lenses I used to wear back when my vision really sucked, so they don’t bug me all that much.

1171. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

Dave, radial keratotomy is soooo 80’s

1172. daveintexas - September 26, 2007

hey, it was the technology of the day. all the doc needed was a pair of pliers, a shot of Jack to steady the nerves, and a hacksaw

1173. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

did you bite the bullet too?

1174. Bart - September 26, 2007

You could try taking them out, cleaning them and switching them in your eyes just to see if this is the problem.

I understand the importance of keeping the lenses seperate for L and R. But as of now, both of my lenses are the identical for each eye.

I got one pair (a trial pair) from the doc. They last for 2 weeks. I go back to the doc on Saturday for a check-up and to buy a supply of lenses. I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to keep using this type, OASYS.

That’s why I was asking if it was normal to constantly feel the lenses in your eyes. If it isn’t, then I must try other types.

1175. Bart - September 26, 2007

Trifocals?

Now I’m depressed. The doc told me that eventually I’d need bifocals. Why was I born with retarded eyes*? Do they make bifocal contact lenses?

*ace’s joke

1176. Cathy - September 26, 2007

Dave
The last few years technology has improved drastically — lenses are so much more porous and able to breathe better. You could ask to be fitted and see what happens.

I use “mono-vision” — meaning that one eye is used to focus on distance and the other for close-up. It works okay for many people. You think that both eyes could not be working together — but they really do. Some folks don’t like mono-vision and can’t get used to it.

Bart
I have a friend who wears contacts that are bifocals. And my eye doctor told me about them too. Each lens gives the eye the ability to focus on closeup and distance. I think they are a bit more expensive. It’s worth checking out if you end up having to wear them.

1177. daveintexas - September 26, 2007

for some reason I was reminded of that scene from Young Frankenstein, where Frankenstein is giving Igor shit about grabbing the wrong brains…

Gene Wilder: Damn your eyes!

Marty Feldman: Too late!

1178. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

Bart after 10 days you should not feel them anymore. I too have identical vision in each eye. In fact I’m so cheap I put them in the same case section each night. Why waste the solution?

random story. I actually had a boyfriend drink my contact lenses at a stayover. what a dumbass.

my fault for putting them in a glass of water, but who just picks up a glass of water and drinks it? hello?

1179. Michael - September 26, 2007

Mr. Michael and I both use Focus Night & Day

They’re great. Put them in and you don’t know they’re there. In a few months, when you notice that you’re trying a little harder to to read street signs, you replace them.

1180. Bart - September 26, 2007

random story. I actually had a boyfriend drink my contact lenses at a stayover. what a dumbass.

pj pinto?

Wait.

Stayover? We used to call it shacking up.

1181. Bart - September 26, 2007

Or are you talking about a booty call?

1182. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

I so knew that sounded like a pinto story. no you silly goose, it was a slumber party with pillow fights and everything. we even decorated cookies

1183. Michael - September 26, 2007

what a dumbass. . . who just picks up a glass of water and drinks it?

Erm, the kind of guys you date, apparently.

1184. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

yes, but not the kind I married

1185. Pupster - September 26, 2007

Bunk.

(The cookies drove me over the edge.)

1186. Michael - September 26, 2007

Oh pj, you can tell us the truth. Your husband is a dumbass too, right?

I know this because, well, every wife on earth is married to a dumbass.

1187. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

hahaha, depends on the day

1188. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

and if he was smart that day, he brought home chocolate

1189. Cathy - September 26, 2007

I know this because, well, every wife on earth is married to a dumbass

So are these dumbasses dumb because they got married?
Or were they like that before they took the plunge too?

Inquiring minds wanna know this stuff… O Great One.

1190. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

haha, I didn’t even think of it that way Cathy.

1191. Pupster - September 26, 2007

Trouble brewing…

1192. TattooedIntellectual - September 26, 2007

1174 Bart.

I wear contacts on a daily basis. I’ve got Acuvue2 at the moment which isn’t my favorite but it’s a bit hard to swap when you’re halfway around the world :) I wanna give the Focus Night & Day ones a go. The Oasis ones are designed to be extremely permeable to O2, but in order to accomplish that they’re thicker than normal and don’t taper much around the edge. I wore a pair for about 8 hrs and was back in the doc’s office insisting on something else. Personally, they were not comfortable lenses.

1193. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

I’m afraid about wearing the night and day. It scares me to wear lenses 24 hours a day. You guys have just had no problem with them whatsoever?

1194. Cathy - September 26, 2007

None. Nada.

These things are much more porous than most other lenses by a factor of — oh maybe 10.

(I’m just pullin that factor out of my rear. But I remember being quite impressed with the number and realizing that is why we can keep wearing them so long and through the night.)

1195. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

Oh I really need stuff that goes to 11, but I might make an exception in this case

1196. Cathy - September 26, 2007

btw — I’ve been wearing the Focus Night & Day contacts for about 3 or 4 years now. They were a farily new product back then. You can only use certain types of cleaning/wetting solution so they don’t get damaged.

I don’t even take them out when I shower, swim or snorkel either — but I don’t open my eyes right into the water either.

1197. Cathy - September 26, 2007

PJ
I could pull a new number out of my rear if you’d like.

…… ELEVEN!!!!

1198. Cathy - September 26, 2007

farily new = fairly new
duh.

1199. daveintexas - September 26, 2007

Eleven is just better.

— Nigel Tufnel

1200. pajama momma - September 26, 2007

Oh well now that you’ve pulled an eleven I think I’m going to the eye store…..or optometrist or whatever

I do not like waking up in the morning and not seeing. It would be nice when my kids came into my room in the middle of the night that I could see which one it was before they jumped on my stomach.

1201. lauraw - September 26, 2007

Just checked, and my 1-year supply of lenses says ‘Vertex Sphere’ on it as the brand. Quite comfortable. Reasonably priced.

They’re daily-wear, though. I don’t like the idea of sleeping with these things on. YMMV.

The handsome young eye doctor prescribed them along with Complete™ ‘no rub’ type lens solution. He looked into my eyes and said, “But Laura, I want you to rub.

Don’t think I will ever forget that.
Excuse me.
Bunk.

1202. daveintexas - September 26, 2007

heh

1203. Retired Geezer - September 26, 2007

I use “mono-vision” — meaning that one eye is used to focus on distance and the other for close-up.

Nobody ever heard of it back then (15 years), but Mrs. G and I use mono-vision glasses for shooting. Our right lens lets us see the front sight and our left lens is for distance. It’s a little trippy at first but after 15 minutes it seems normal.

1204. lauraw - September 26, 2007

Final bit: Bart’s face will not be harmed a bit by a pair of bifocal specs perched on there. Daresay it might be a good thing.

Men do not look dorky with glasses on, like so many women do. They look smart and authoritative, somehow.

Bastids.

1205. BrewPackFan - September 26, 2007

I wonder what kind of contacts the New Young Pony Club wears?

1206. Bart - September 27, 2007

The Oasis ones are designed to be extremely permeable to O2, but in order to accomplish that they’re thicker than normal and don’t taper much around the edge.

YES YES YES, that’s the 411 I was looking for. They do feel thick. My eyelids are resting on the edge of the lens, so they’re constantly riding on oand off of the edge. Seeing as how it’s my first pair, I didn’t know if that was normal. Thankyou, tattoo! :)

I’m afraid about wearing the night and day.

Yeah, you know why? The “eye store” people scare the bejeesus out of you when they say it’s not good to wear the contacts when you sleep. They terrify with scary words such as “bacteria.” Well, that’s what they told me.

Men do not look dorky with glasses on

I don’t really feel dorky, I feel inferior. Plus, I can’t get used to having the damn things on my face. I’m constantly pushing them up — that’s when I feel dorky.

*oh look, my #1163 comment finally showed up

1207. Michael - September 27, 2007

The “eye store” people scare the bejeesus out of you when they say it’s not good to wear the contacts when you sleep.

That’s bullshit from a bygone era. The Night & Day lenses are highly permeable and ultra-thin films that do not interfere with normal lubrication. Once they’re in, you blink for about fifteen seconds, and then you can’t even feel them.

1208. Michael - September 27, 2007

The Night & Day lenses are not cheap. However, they tell you to replace them every month, but actually they are good for three or four months before you notice that they’ve worn out and you need a new set.

1209. Michael - September 27, 2007

I also have the “monovision” setup, where my left eye does near vision and my right eye does far vision. It’s pretty cool, compared to glasses where you have to tilt your head to get the right angle. With monovision, your brain automatically selects the eye that is capable of focusing depending on what you are looking at. There is no effort, and no loss of depth perception or 3D effect.

1210. Michael - September 27, 2007

Another big benefit of contacts is that you can get cool sunglasses over the counter for $200 rather than spending a fortune for prescription sunglasses. This radically cuts the cost of beach time, when you want to be checking out the chicks whilst pretending to read a book.

1211. Bartpinto - September 27, 2007

Michaelpinto?

Buying expensive sunglasses (+20) is, well, foolish.

Maybe you’re different, but sunglasses only last me a few months. I lose or break them. My rule: when I find a good pair of cheap shades, I buy a few pairs.

The best pair of sunglasses only cost me $9.99 at Auto Zone. I shoulda bought 10 pairs. Yep, they’re already broken. :(

By the way, speaking of cheap stuff, I went to Old Navy today and bought 3 shirts for only $23.49.

1212. lauraw - September 27, 2007

Yah, me ‘n my best friend Lisa are gonna hit the Outlet shops this weekend. She said everything is a bargain right now.

1213. Retired Geezer - September 27, 2007

your brain automatically selects the eye that is capable of focusing depending on what you are looking at.

I read bout an interesting experiment where they had test subjects wear glasses (goggles?) that inverted the images. They could only see through the lenses. After a period of time (don’t remember if it was hours or days), their brain ‘flipped’ the images so they saw normally.
When they removed the goggles, they saw everything upside down for a period of time.

1214. lauraw - September 27, 2007

That’s craaaaazy.

1215. Dave in Texas - September 27, 2007

I can do that with a bottle of tequila

1216. pjmomma - September 27, 2007

What can’t you do with a bottle of tequila Dave?

1217. Michael - September 27, 2007

What can’t you do with a bottle of tequila Dave?

I’m thinking that this is not information Dave should share.

1218. Dave in Texas - September 27, 2007

You can’t bring it to a staff meeting.

Learned that the hard way.

1219. Michael - September 27, 2007

You can’t make a decent martini.

1220. sandy burger - September 27, 2007

Speaking of martinis, I’ve recently become a vodka martini man. I like it slightly dirty.

1221. Michael - September 27, 2007

I like it slightly dirty.

Are you really talking about martinis?

1222. Retired Geezer - September 27, 2007

Note to Self: Appletini’s kick my ass.

Pope out.

1223. Pupster - September 27, 2007

On the rocks, Sandy? ‘Cause that’s my (latest) drink of choice, too.

And I own a Roomba. And I like cheeseburgers. Are you mocking me?

1224. Michael - September 27, 2007

And I own a Roomba. And I like cheeseburgers. Are you mocking me?

No. Anyone who publicly admits to owning a Roomba is pretty much exempt from mockery. It would be like pulling the wings off a fly.

1225. Lipstick - September 27, 2007

Roombas are great!

And they make a Scooba which is fantastic on bare floors. It does a better job than a sponge mop and bucket. I’m a fan.

1226. sandy burger - September 27, 2007

Well, I haven’t tried it on the rocks. But maybe today’s my lucky day.

I do not like cheeseburgers, though. So, even though my hopes were high, it turns out you’re not my long-lost twin after all, Pupster.

1227. sandy burger - September 27, 2007

Roombas are great!

Our numbers are growing.

By the way, I’ll have to try one of those appletinis RG was talking about. Sounds like part of a complete breakfast.

1228. Pupster - September 27, 2007

*high fives Lipstick*

Michael, Roomba’s are seriously cool. Maybe I’ll bring mine to the IB Pistol Party to clean up and deliver martini’s.

1229. Lipstick - September 27, 2007

And Pups and I are pretty even on the candidates too.

They also make a garage Roomba which Mr. LS loves. It picks up bolts, palm fronds and all sorts of stuff.

1230. Pupster - September 27, 2007

*high fives Sandy*

I thought you were a cheeseburger every-day guy? Maybe long lost cousins or something.

On the rocks makes the drink a little weaker with the melting ice, but it stays cold longer, and, I’m sorry…I just can’t get used to drinking out of a martini glass. Unsophisticated.

I don’t order a dirty vodka martini rocks, most of places where I barstool perch would have to come back for further instructions. “Vodka, rocks, throw in some olives and olive juice for me.”

“Yeah, I know it’s dollar draft night.

1231. Bart - September 27, 2007

I thought you were a cheeseburger every-day guy?

No, that’s me. Well, it used to be me. Now I’m a chicken breast every day guy.

1232. Pupster - September 27, 2007

No offense Bart…but even with the cheeseburger thing, I don’t’ think we are kin.

I’m Bizarro Bart.

1233. Michael - September 27, 2007

I’ll have to try one of those appletinis RG was talking about. Sounds like part of a complete breakfast.

Dude, go to a martini bar first. Take note of who is ordering appletinis. You will observe that the patrons of this beverage are:

1. Chicks

2. Men, who are talking to other men. They are very well groomed. Their nails have been manicured, and their hands have been bathed in paraffin wax. They dress like they have a GQ subscription. Their hair is perfect (reference to Werewolves of London is intended).

You get my point. Do not drink an appletini.

1234. Bart - September 27, 2007

If y’all are comfortable numb from your martinis, or, in sandy’s case, sens, or, in wickedpinto’s case, Cool Whip can fumes, this song will sound nice.

Was this already posted?

1235. daveintexas - September 27, 2007

strangely enough, I am a Jackson Browne fan.

don’t hold it against me

1236. TattooedIntellectual - September 27, 2007

If you can find 42 Below Feijoa Vodka in the States mix it w/ a bit of apple juice. Very yummy!

1237. Michael - September 27, 2007

don’t hold it against me

I don’t. I like the old Jackson Browne stuff too. “Running on Empty” is a rock classic, in my opinion. I saw him live a few years ago (long after his prime, when he was the opening act for Tom Petty).

Another cool thing about Jackson Browne is that he sorta discovered and promoted Warren Zevon, giving Warren a lot of exposure that made him a major act for a while.

Bart’s link to “The Pretender” drew my eye to the sidebar, where I spied a video of Jackson Browne and Warren Zevon doing my second-favorite Zevon song (right behind “Lawyers, Guns & Money”) — “Mohammed’s Radio.”

I don’t know anybody else who loves this song, but I do. I’m going to put it up on the main page.

1238. Retired Geezer - September 27, 2007

You get my point. Do not drink an appletini.

*smacks forehead*

No Wonder it kicked my ass… it was foreign to every molecule of my being.

1239. BrewFan - September 27, 2007

Welcome to the Jackson Browne fan club. His best album was Late for the Sky with For Everyman a close second in my not so humble opinion.

1240. Cathy - September 27, 2007

I like Jackson Browne — so I won’t be holding it against anybody…
…whatever it is.

1241. Bart - September 27, 2007

Okay, but 99% of the reason for me to link the song was an excuse to use the WP/Cool Whip can joke.

1242. Michael - September 27, 2007

99% of the reason for me to link the song was an excuse to use the WP/Cool Whip can joke.

That was pretty good, actually. You got a chuckle from me.

It occurs to me that we need a shorthand expression to replace LOL, which was become intolerable. I propose “GLAR” to acknowledge a noteworthy joke, signifying that you have giggled like a retard.

GLAR, Bart!

1243. daveintexas - September 27, 2007

didn’t we all yak about Late for the Sky a while back?

loved the tune, but everybody in the band said “screw this, it’s too depressing”.

How long have I been sleeping?

1244. Mrs. Peel - September 28, 2007

By the way, Bart, yes, my contacts are Oasys. I was switched to them recently when I complained of dry eyes and poor tear quality. I recently had occasion to put in some old Acuvues, and WOW, what a huge difference. The Oasys contacts keep my eyes so much more moist and are incredibly comfortable.

But you should not be able to feel the contacts. So yeah, go back to the optometrist.

And yes, there are bifocal contacts. My mom wore them for a while before she did the monovision thing. It may take several tries to get them exactly the way you want them; she spent most of a summer changing out different types and prescriptions before she found something that worked.

1245. Bart - September 28, 2007

Oh, I thought you were using the Focus’. So you keep the Oasys’ in your eyes for 4 months?!?!?

Today was awful with the contacts. Two hours with them and my eyes actually hurt. I go for my 2 wk check up tomorrow. I’ll ask if I can try a few different brands.

1246. Bart - October 1, 2007

Contat lens update:

Saturday, I was given a few samples to try. So far, I’ve tried Ciba’s Focus Dailies…felt great for about an hour, then very bad.

Then I tried Acuvue Dailies. Great for about two hours and then crappy.

Right now I’m using Acuvue Moist Dailies. They feel great and I hardly notice them. If I can make it past 4 hours without discomfort, that’ll be awesome. The last contacts I’ll be trying are a pair of Focus Night & Days.

1247. lauraw - October 2, 2007

I hope you’re giving yourself enough time between trials so that you aren’t trying out new lenses on already-irritated eyes.

BTW, any tips on building muscle mass for a lady who recently noticed a loss and is pushin’ 40 yrs. old?

I think I’m OK on the exercise end of things (just started back up the other day), but I’ve always eaten whatever I wanted, lots of meat and eggs, the greasy the better, veggies as craved, and rarely take supplements for anything.

When I was seriously into fitness I did the protein powder schtick, but it just made me feel horribly icky. I prefer food.

Does it really have to be chicken breasts forever and a day? I’m already on the skinny side and not looking to have some great bikini body. Just strength.

1248. Michael - October 2, 2007

BTW, any tips on building muscle mass for a lady who recently noticed a loss and is pushin’ 40 yrs. old?

You’ve got to lift. To just build mass, fewer reps and more weight is better than many reps and low weight. You have to go till it hurts and the tissue is exhausted. I used to be very skinny, and learned something about this. Lifting literally tears the muscle fibers, and the mending process builds mass. Which is why you don’t do it every day. The average person, if they are doing it right, needs a day for the tissue to recover. I used to alternate lifting with some kind of aerobic exercise.

To build endurance-type strength, the opposite is is true — less weight, more reps. But you don’t necessarily need endurance. You need to be able to heft those grandfather clocks and motorboat engines with confidence.

1249. Michael - October 3, 2007

BTW, lifting works better in your 30s than it does for kids. It’s hard for high school football players to bulk up.

1250. Mrs. Peel - October 3, 2007

Hell, NO, Bart. I have NEVER worn contacts for more than a day except by accidentally falling asleep. Don’t listen to Michael about wearing them for 4 months at a time. You’ll experience considerable protein buildup on the lens, which can lead to bacteria growing in your eye, which is NOT a good thing.

If you spend all day staring at a computer, the problem may be that your eyes are getting dry, because no matter how great the contacts are, they can’t keep your eyes as moist as if you weren’t wearing them. Try Optive drops. I find that most drops just leave my eyes even drier and my contacts cloudy, but the Optive ones are awesome. I keep them in my briefcase and in my purse.

lauraw, total gym. It’s Chuck Norris-approved. You can probably get a cheap older one off ebay. Calisthenics are also good. Here are some I found when looking for a way to trim down.

1251. Michael - October 3, 2007

Hell, NO, Bart. I have NEVER worn contacts for more than a day except by accidentally falling asleep.

Mrs. Peel is full of it — she is talking about yesterday’s technology and has never tried Focus Night & Days. They are very thin and flexible, highly permeable, and completely safe. Ask your optometrist. You can put a drop of contact cleaner on them while they are installed, like eye drops, to clean them off if you think they’re getting smudged.

The worst thing about contacts is taking them out and putting them in. I can’t imagine doing that every day.

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