Innocent Bystanders

Reasons to quit drinking.

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Go here to see the new Marine Corps commercial.

via Michelle Malkin, who has some backstory on the Corps’ trouble with San Francisco.

doing the job

Via Hot Air today.

Bart…..Bart. Bart. Bart. Bart. Bart. Bart.

Bart. Bart. Bart. Bart…..Bart.

Bart. Bart.

Bart……….Bart. Bart…..Bart. Bart. Bart.

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Explanation: this post is the result of this exchange.

Caption contest?

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Is that Brut you’re wearing?

I give you The Brubakers.

That is all.

Make a bowl of ice cream for later.

God bless you all my friends.

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Yesterday

How many damn times….

OK. Let me set the scene.

Hubby let the dogs out for their evening constitutional. A short while later, we heard activity in the underbrush by the Magnolia tree. Lot of jumping around.

“Think he treed something,” he said, and whistled to retrieve the dogs.

Yankee, my boy, came bounding into the porch with a troubled look on his face. I noticed that his nose and mouth were dripping bubbles, and jumped up out of my seat and started off to the kitchen. Because I know the signs by now. He was suffering.

The smell hit before I reached the door.

The Boy been skunked. Again.

HOW MANY TIMES does a dog have to try to make best friends with a skunk before he gives up?

This makes number five for my Special Retarded Moron Imbecile Non-Savant StupidFuck Idiot Dummy Halfwit Simple Cretinous Feebleminded STUPID DOG.

And always at 10 pm. And always when it’s too cold outside for a bath.

WTF?? I can teach him a simple command and he retains it forever with perfect recall. But he doesn’t remember what led up to the most traumatic evenings of his life?

Friends, I have treated my idiot canine pal with two different commercial preparations tonight, and have not let him into the house yet.

Yet I am sitting here in my home before the computer, and I stink. All that I can smell is tire-fire skunk-nasty. It’s in my nose, it’s in my hair, it’s everywhere. Eyes are burning.

It is on me.

Why should I let him live?

Here is a little test that will help you find out if you are a Republican, a Democrat, or a Texan. Just pick which answer most closely mirrors your likely response to the following situation:You’re walking down a deserted street with your family. Suddenly, an man in black, wearing a kefir and carrying a huge knife comes around the corner. He locks eyes with you, screams “Alahu Akbar!” and “Death to the Infidels”, and brandishes the knife wildly as he runs toward your children. You are carrying a Glock 40-caliber semi-automatic pistol.

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Congratulations to Bobby Jindal, who was just elected governor of Louisiana.  He is the state’s first non-white governor, and the first Indian-American governor in the United States.

The wife and I campaigned for him three years ago when he was very narrowly defeated by Kathleen Blanco, who later proved her ineptitude to the entire nation during hurricane Katrina.  Jindal basically screwed himself out of the job by refusing to answer Blanco’s relentless attack ads, staying on the positive message that he actually has an impressive track record of reform projects.  Louisianans, apparently, weren’t interested.

From his speech tonight:

“I think we’re setting the bar too low when we say, ‘Look, isn’t it great that we haven’t had a statewide elected official go to jail recently?’” Jindal said.

Maybe, but we are talking about Louisiana.  Time will tell.  Again, congratulations, Bobby, and while I hope you live up to your potential, I’ll also point out that you can’t possibly do much worse than your predecessor.

That’s an actual headline from CNN.com.

Reminds me of this  (kinda NSFW, but it was on public radio):