Innocent Bystanders

Yep.  With a post on puppies and pooters.

I don’t even have to explain it, do I?

A few days ago, my wife, daughter, and I went pedal boating through the canal system built in Forest Park, which leads to the Grand Basin. The Grand Basin is at the base of Art Hill, with the St. Louis Art Museum and the statue of King Louis IX at the top. Here are a few photos my wife took from the perspective of a pedal boat operated by a lardass who thought he was in better shape than an hour of continuous pedaling in water would prove.

This is one of the fountains in the Grand Basin.

This is a shot of Art Hill and the St. Louis Art Museum.

This is a photo from a little bit ago from the top of Art Hill to provide perspective on the Grand Basin.

And here is a shot I took of the statue of King Louis IX.

In a conclusion that even I could understand, some smart guy wasted a ton of money coming to the conclusion that sexually appealing athletes can make a shitload of money in the advertising business.

The author of this mind-blowing piece mentioned the usual suspects: Amanda Beard, David Beckham, Maria Sharapova, and swimmer Dara Torres. But the much appreciated newcomer to the scene is Paraguayan javelin thrower Leryn Franco, who I had never heard of until today.

Leryn Franco, 26, a javelin thrower from Paraguay, is competing in her second Olympics at Beijing, thanks to her second career, modelling.

“Modelling is a way for me to continue with my sport, the hours are flexible, and you can earn good money through photographic modelling and the catwalk,” Franco told Reuters.

So, what does this athlete look like?

[UPDATE: PHOTO IS NOW BELOW THE FOLD. IT'S CLEAN, BUT I DON'T WANT TO START ANY TROUBLE.]

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I hate to say this, because it’s fashionable amongst AOSHQ morons to constantly revile the MSM.  However, James Traub has published a piece in The New York Times that offers an absorbing (and very well written) explanation of the current hostilities in South Ossetia between Russia and Georgia, based upon his intimate familiarity with the Caucasus region.  According to him, the exchange of ordnance was inevitable — it was just a matter of time before someone pulled the wrong trigger.

This piece is journalism at its best:  Taunting the Bear.

Geoff will absolutely love this essay.  No kidding.  Geoff will love a NYT analysis.

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Ruger Mark III .22.

Somebody, and I think it was Russ, mentioned something about a warning on the side of the pistol. I thought he meant a big sticker. Turns out I didn’t know what he meant. There is a warning about reading the instructional manual engraved on the side of the pistol. And the loaded chamber indicator has “loaded chamber indicator” engraved on it as well. The nerve. Warning people that firearms are dangerous and holding peoples’ hands to tell them when a pistol is loaded?. What’s next? Nagging us that eating raw Crisco is bad for you?

But I digress. As an added bonus, Ruger is offering a discount on NRA membership.

My dad also went with me and bought a Taurus (from Brazil?) 9 round .22 revolver.

Those zombies won’t stand a chance.

I guess I have led a sheltered life, not knowing until today that shooting bowling pins was a big deal.

Anyway, here is a random video I found of this particular activity:
[UPDATE: RG NOTICED THE FIRST VIDEO I FOUND WAS "NO LONGER AVAILABLE". SO, HERE'S ANOTHER RANDOM VIDEO OF A GUY SHOOTING BOWLING PINS.]

A very old Remington Model 33, single bolt action “squirrel rifle”.

I taught all my girls to shoot with this first before we moved on to handguns.

This rifle was given to my dad by his older brother when dad was 12.  Here’s the bolt.  To fire it, you pull that knob on the left out and it locks into firing position.  The safety is a notch that you turn the pin to, so it can’t release.

Probably made around 1925 or so.

UPDATE: Picture of Moses?  Sure!

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You know, I had a tough decision: post close up photos of my feet after running and contrast it with a close up of my feet with my orange Crocs, or this.

While this was not a Kafkaesque situation (personally, I’m an O Henry guy), it does resemble the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, only this time, all options are bad.

Enjoy.

Holland, MI this time of year is a very nice place to visit. While my family and I were there, the temperature ranged from the high 70s to the low 80s, with minimal humidity and a pleasant breeze. And the water, while a bit chilly, was clear and clean. Too bad the winters can be brutal in that area. But I won’t be there in the winter, so who cares?

Oh, and if your daughter REALLY NEEDS her pink My Little Pony purse, and you go to the car to bring it back to the hotel room, try not to encounter drunken rednecks. Just sayin’.

Anyway, here is Lake Michigan, as seen from Tunnel Park, so named because a tunnel dug through the sand dunes is one of the ways to get to the beach.

Then, we went to a local Dutch Village and Windmill Island. Apparently, they make their own cheese there.

Here is the Windmill Island:

Mad Goat Walking Skillz:

Dutch Costumes:

And finally (for now), proof that Holland State Park became teh sexxier  for at least a few hours last week [WARNING: LOTS OF ORANGE CROCS GOODNESS TO FOLLOW]

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Gallup finally does a survey that is relevant.

In recent years, wine had narrowed the gap, including pulling slightly ahead in 2005 (though not by a significant margin), but for the first time since 2002, beer enjoys a better-than-double-digit advantage over wine.

Zombie Dating Services.

Female Collegiate Soccer Players, especially Megan Ohai.

Michigan weather in late July.

Mr. Long Wang.

And finally, science focusing on what is important: the damage women cause their breasts by wearing the wrong undergarments while exercising.

Dr Scurr - who has tested 50 bra designs on hundreds of women over the last three years - believes the speed at which breasts move could be the key to preventing breast pain and damage to fragile ligaments.

Her team has helped design a new, extra supportive bra made with moulded plastic which goes on sale later this year.

“Of the women I have seen during my work I would say only five per cent were wearing the right size bra,” said Dr Scurr.

“Most women wear an underband that is too large and a cup size that is too small. Wearing the wrong size bra can cause discomfort and offers reduced levels of support that can lead to stretching and ultimately sagging.”

Women experience the most discomfort when their breasts accelerate or decelerate, the scientists found.

Yes, I know this important topic has been covered before, but in the public interest, breast health cannot be discussed enough.

Surely I must get some credit during the Lutheran Take-Over of the World for making a pilgrimage to Norway.

Right? Right?

Here is a church

The old churches have models of ships which are pointed toward the sea, to pray for the safety of the fishermen.

So, I’m good, right?

UPDATE:

A wider view of the church:

Thanks to the glory of technology, I am able to spread my unique brand of idiocy to the masses even away from home. Thank you, Algore! Well, I know not everybody is a big sports dork like me, so I have to fight back the urge to tell everyone how South African soccer players are keeping their socks up.

These creative sportsmen have discovered an innovative way of using condoms to secure and keep up their football socks, in the absence of expensive soccer socks, elastic or rubber bands. Condoms strewn on sportsfields in informal settlements have, of late, become a common sight.

Or rugby players such as Todd Carney living the Moron Lifestyle.

Carney was alleged to have urinated on a patron at a Canberra pub in the early hours of Monday.

And I know that golf is not the most popular activity with some of our fine Texas representatives named Dave. But I do know that the mix of music and sports can satisfy almost all of the denizens of this fair site. Especially when it involves the European Ryder Cup team selecting Iron Maiden Drummer Nicko McBrain as a motivational speaker for their upcoming golf tussle with the United States.

Golf legend NICK FALDO was discussing metal as a secret weapon in the forthcoming Ryder Cup. Nick, skipper of the European team, has enrolled IRON MAIDEN drummer NICKO McBRAIN as part of his backroom staff to prepare for battle against the Americans in Kentucky later this year. Faldo told BBC anchor GARY LINEKER he’d signed up Nicko to help motivate the team.

Folks, this is like the harmonic convergence: sports, news, and music! And it’s Maiden, so it has to be good. Besides, who the hell could the U.S. team get to motivate our lads that could top this? Just or the hell of it, here is what the U.S. is up against: