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Remember AOSHQ? April 30, 2006

Posted by Michael in Websites.

Has Ace of Spades HQ changed? 

Ace seems the same to me, but some think the blog has changed.  A recent email from Geezer, and a comment in one of Ace's threads by Geoff a few weeks ago, both pointed to the same cause — the corrosive effect of Mike the Troll and his ilk on the atmosphere there. 

Mike is annoying, sure, but that's not the only factor.  Look at Ace's Sitemeter:

 This Year's Visits by Month

That's right, in the last year our buddy Ace has more than doubled his traffic.

Good for Ace, I say.  You're looking at advertising revenue right there, and the hard-working Mr. Spades surely earns every nickel.

I still read Ace almost every day, and don't plan to kick the habit any time soon. Still, I miss the "good old days" when the site had a clubbier atmosphere, and you felt like you knew most of the commenters.  There was genuine shared excitement at AOSHQ during the run-up to an election, threads that just went crazy (the Jeff Gannon thread still stands out in my mind as providing a truly memorable evening of hilarity), great story-telling by the commenters (compos mentis still gets my vote for the funniest comment I've ever seen on a blog), the Paul Anka jokes, the good-natured flame wars, the haiku contests, the endless Dick Cheney gags, the AOSHQ Lifestyle™, and so on.

I'm thinking that when Innocent Bystanders gets to about 250,000 visitors per month, we just won't let anyone else in.  So tell your friends and neighbors to start reading now, before we slam the door, or they will be crying on the outside as soon as we pick up about another 246,000 monthly visits.


1. Gabriel Malor - April 30, 2006

“Has Ace of Spades HQ changed? ”

I’d say, “Yes.” When I go there, I’m getting:

Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

All you other people GO HOME!

2. geoff - April 30, 2006

Yeah, the 509 error is disconcerting – especially since he’s hosted by Pixy Misa, who I would have assumed would have a kinder, gentler means of dealing with it. Probably a DOS attack.

3. mediumatlarge - April 30, 2006

It’s just the set-up for another bleg-a-thon.
“Brother, can you spare a dime for a fellow american down on his luck?”

4. Tom M - April 30, 2006

I was wondering about the DOS possibility as well.
I miss Monty. I hope he is doing well. Does he still have his blog?

5. Tom M - April 30, 2006

So is there a ritual to be preestablished as one of the chosen 250,000?
Is there any bloodletting?
Do I need my own towel?

6. mediumatlarge - April 30, 2006

Brown bag full’o’cash would go a long way, Tom.
Oh, and welcome.

7. Bart - April 30, 2006

If AoS doesn’t come back soon, I’ll be forced to comment here.

8. Dave in Texas - April 30, 2006

You could comment here. With the other two people


I’m pretty sure I haven’t exceeded my bandwidth limit.

9. Bart - April 30, 2006

Thanks for the invite, Dave, but I prefer to perform in front of a large audience. I need at least five people. Michael does not count.

10. Enas Yorl - April 30, 2006

I remember once when Ace specifically called me f’n retard. Sniff. Good times, good times.

11. mediumatlarge - April 30, 2006

Maybe Michael hacked Ace.
I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

12. Bart - April 30, 2006

By the by, DinT, I have made a few visits to your blog.
I checked out the guitars. I know nothing about guitars.

I feel the same way about Harley Davidson motorcylces. They look nice and sound cool, but they don’t do much for me.

Although, last summer I was toying with the idea of getting a Harley.
I decided it wasn’t worth spending $13K for a used HD that I would only ride a few times.

13. geoff - April 30, 2006

BTW, Bart, you’ve been doing a man’s work at AoSHQ fending off the moonbats. Good to see.

14. michael - April 30, 2006

Michael does not count.

Oddly enough, our Sitemeter has the same attitude as Bart.

15. Bart - April 30, 2006

Do you like my new approach, geoff?

I decided to be like The Decider’s dad — kinder and gentler.

16. steve_in_hb - April 30, 2006

geoff –

Why don’t you get your head…out of Bart’s ass…and see….that his approval rating…is only 32%

17. geoff - April 30, 2006


You DOLT. You forgot the CAPS. Not one of you can think of a single good thing to say about CAPS. I swear you are the stupidest lower case people I have EVER met.

18. Bart - April 30, 2006

If IB can get spurwing, I’ll stay for good.

19. kevlarchick - April 30, 2006

The chick contingency is missing from this thread. And I don’t mean cleavage.

20. steve_in_hb - April 30, 2006

I dont have time…to worry about caps like you morons who don’t live near the beach…I have to go to the beach…for cocktails…and try to get…a header…LOL

21. steve_in_hb - April 30, 2006

kevlarchick –

Cleavage is always missed, you can never have too much of it laying around.

22. Bart - April 30, 2006

Did I ever tell you guys about the time when a gay dude called Carl tried to pick me up at Ft. Lauderdale Beach, Florida?

23. steve_in_hb - April 30, 2006

Was he a good kisser?

24. geoff - April 30, 2006

Was he rebelling against an authoritarian father?

25. geoff - April 30, 2006

Ah, Ace is back up.

26. kevlarchick - April 30, 2006

Steve is thinking about his dog Jake.

27. Bart - April 30, 2006

I don’t know if Carl was a good kisser. It did take me a while to figure out that the dude was gay. I was 19 at the time. Bells and
whistles started going off in my head when he asked in a very gay way, “Where’s the parties at, tonight?”

When Carl realized that I was a naive, innocent kid he looked at me in a very odd way. He politely said goodbye and left. He appeared to be very ashamed of himself. It wasn’t until later that all the events made sense to me.

So, yes, I suppose he was rebelling against his father.

28. kevlarchick - April 30, 2006

Takes awhile to get the gaydar properly honed and attuned, I reckon. I had a gay chick hit on me once–recently. I knew she was lesbian and she knew I was straight. What gives?

29. Bart - April 30, 2006

All women are up for girl-on-girl after three drinks.

As Dave would say, it’s science.

30. harrison - April 30, 2006

Just after high school a buddy of mine picked up a lady in a bar and, later, as he was headed for home plate, he found he was in the wrong ballpark. So to speak. He wouldn’t talk about it for years.

31. kevlarchick - April 30, 2006

Bartly, science is not my forte. I turned her down. In front of my class.

32. BrewFan - April 30, 2006

What was the point of that story Bart? That gay men mistake you for one of their own? BTW, what do you think of the savvy draft day moves by the mighty Green Bay Packer?

33. BrewFan - April 30, 2006

Packer = Packers. Although a single Packer usually is mighty.

34. Bart - April 30, 2006

What was the point?

Um, no point, really. Just sharing. Steve mentioned beaches so naturally —
Steve + beaches = gay.

Looks like an 8-8 season for the Pack.

35. BrewFan - April 30, 2006

“Looks like an 8-8 season for the Pack.”

I’m thinking 10-6 with a Wild Card. Not having a proven kicker scares me the most because I’m seeing a lot of close games in our future.

BTW, my folks moved to Florida when I was 13 so I kind of grew up there. I was home on leave from the Army once when some old HS buddies and I decided to do the Strip in Ft. Liquordale. I saw a willowy blonde with shoulder length hair (her back was towards me) and decided to make my move. When ‘she’ turned around it was a he! lol! I bought the dude a beer and took a bunch of crap from my buddies for the rest of the night.

36. michael - April 30, 2006

If IB can get spurwing, I’ll stay for good.

But how? What sort of bait do we need to throw around?

37. michael - April 30, 2006

Today we've had visitors from the U.K., Singapore, China (Hong Kong) and France. Surely we can figure out how to bring in spurwing.

38. Enas Yorl - April 30, 2006

I think Spurwing Plover is a non-migratory bird, but John at WuzzaDem is attracting a speciesbenny bird with very similar habits.

39. Bart - April 30, 2006

Benny Bird?

He’s like a man-child.

40. Feisty - April 30, 2006

Snuggly’s traffic is so high that he barely has time to respond to my dirty emails anymore.

Tragedy incarnate.

God help me if I have to start hitting on Michael to ease the pain.

41. michael - April 30, 2006

Oh great. Now the hookers are trying to slip in ahead of the 250,000 traffic cap.

The Spurs got their butts kicked in the first half against Sacramento tonight.

42. geoff - April 30, 2006

The Spurs got their butts kicked in the first half against Sacramento tonight.

But the Avs won. And the Nuggets are still alive (albeit barely).

43. ace - May 1, 2006

Dirty, treasonous, bastard splitters.

44. daveintexas - May 1, 2006

God help me if I have to start hitting on Michael to ease the pain.

Oh you’ll be way past God’s help.

Bart, last bike I owned was an 81 Yamaha Virago. I got rid of it when I got married and had kids and stuff.

I really miss riding, but I have to admit, the reflexes are a little slower and the grandmas who drive around here do not see bikes.

45. michael - May 1, 2006

Dirty, treasonous, bastard splitters.

OK, I'll be the one to ask.

Does anyone know what a "bastard splitter" is? Why would you split a bastard in the first place? Does this require a chain saw? And how much Val-U-Rite vodka do you have to drink to come up with that concept?

46. Feisty - May 1, 2006

Um, based on context alone, I would guess it means that you’re taking all the loyal Aceypoo bastardly commenters away from Aceypoo HQ, Michael.

47. michael - May 1, 2006

Feisty, sweetheart, that was supposed to be a joke.

48. Feisty - May 1, 2006

Condescending prick. Like I get your goofyass obscure shit.

49. michael - May 1, 2006

last bike I owned was an 81 Yamaha Virago

I quit when my kids were little too. When they got older, I bought a (rather unusual) 1998 Yamaha Royal Star Tour Classic, which is still in my garage. Retro styling with leather bags and all. V-4 power plant; I don’t know of any other bike that has this. The key to a cruiser is the tone quality of the exhaust, and this one is good. Not really loud, but melodious.

I bought it when my kids were about finished with high school, and I figured out that my untimely demise would actually be a financial windfall for all concerned. Stopped wearing a helmet too.

I like biker bars. When I’m riding, if I see a bar with 15 bikes parked outside, I’m stopping for a beer. I’ve never actually had a bad time in a biker bar.

50. kevlarchick - May 1, 2006

Bikers can be unpredictable, but there’s no better ally. We had a biker neighbor and I used to give him bread from our church soup kitchen–just left it on his porch. One day my car broke down and who stopped first? My biker neighbor. He couldn’t give me or my baby a ride, but he waited until the tow truck came. A total gentleman. Lots of bikers out here where I live.

51. Tom M - May 1, 2006

“Does anyone know what a “bastard splitter” is? Why would you split a bastard in the first place? Does this require a chain saw? And how much Val-U-Rite vodka do you have to drink to come up with that concept? ”

More important: do the two halves regenerate into two separate splitters? Are they still splitters when they finish?

52. blogidaho - May 1, 2006

Idaho has no helmet law. Kinda freaked me out when we moved up here and saw all those people riding without them.
Please wear your helmet. You don’t want to end up like Gary Busey.

I’ve been riding motorcycles since I was 14, but I would be askeerd to ride in today’s traffic.
When you get on a motorcycle, it’s like you put on the Cloak of Invisibility… they just don’t see you.

53. Bart - May 1, 2006

True. That’s why bikers want their bikes to be loud. Maybe you can’t see ’em, but you’ll sure hear ’em.
Loud exhausts are for safety. It’s science.

I’ve also always had good times in biker bars. I look and dress nothing like a biker, but we have always get along. Biker chicks dig me; they think I’m cute. And compared to bikers, I am.

54. Russ from Winterset - May 1, 2006

Right now, I’ve got a plethora of bikes in my garage. A 2000 Kawasaki EJ650 (clone of a late 60’s Triumph/BSA), a ’77 Kawasaki KZ 650 (my old bike from college, small project), a ’75 Suzuki GT750 “waterbuffalo”, a ’81 Honda FT500 Ascot that my wife rides, another Ascot parts bike, and an Aermacchi/Harley Sprint 250 C single cylinder major project bike. I try to ride as much as I can, but I also find that other vehicle drivers are either negligently willing to drive over me like an armadillo or actively trying to kill me.

My personal motto: “two wheels good, four wheels bad”.

Of course, most of my riding is two lane highways out here in corn country. If I had to traverse city traffic every day, I might hang it up like some of you have done.

55. michael - May 1, 2006

Russ, I don’t think you’re supposed to say “plethora” when discussing bikes. I think you’re supposed to say “whole fuckin’ buncha” or words to that effect.

56. sandy burger - May 1, 2006

Well, well, well. Look where Bart’s been hanging out lately. I should’ve figured as much.

57. Knemon - May 1, 2006


58. Russ from Winterset - May 1, 2006

When you compare the two side by side, “plethora” scores much lower on the Thatssogay-o-meter than “cornocopia”. Or is there a specific term, like covey of quail or murder of crows?

59. Elzbth - May 1, 2006

It’s a” vrooom” of motorcycles.

60. michael - May 1, 2006

No banjos, Knemon. Bass guitars, a few threads down under the Dualism post.

61. blogidaho - May 1, 2006

Elzbth, good one.

62. Bart - May 1, 2006

Confound you, sandy burger!

63. michael - May 1, 2006

Dammit! If Mike follows sandy burger over here I’m going to be pissed.

64. Slublog - May 2, 2006

Hey, this is your blog. You can just ban Mike’s IP and then hold a fund-raiser to keep him away.

Extortion? Maybe. But no Mike.

65. Wickedpinto - February 20, 2007

That’s right, in the last year our buddy Ace has more than doubled his traffic.

Sorry, My first comment on Aces was a little more than a year ago, and CLEARLY, the adoration of the pinto contributed to his dilution.

Sorry Michael.

I just bring the sexy back, but only on a larger scale.

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