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Axl Rose Bites Security Guard in the Leg AND HE HAS BIG BOOBS June 27, 2006

Posted by Sobek in Humor.
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Well it’s obviously too late to save either of them. We’ll have to shoot them in the head, to save mankind.

Update below the jump:

axl01.jpg

Comments»

1. skinbad - June 27, 2006

Oh, wo ho ho, sweet leg o’ mine.

2. Dave in Texas - June 27, 2006

“He was deemed too intoxicated to be questioned right away,” she said.

I’m always shocked that alcohol seems to play a role in these stories.

3. guns n' roses - February 2, 2007

AXL RULES!!

4. jonathan - January 3, 2008

hey stupid i hate poeple who just suck dick and cause of that they shit on other poeple and that seems to you

5. composmentis - January 3, 2008

Axl Rose is a first-rate asshole, which is why he can’t keep a band together. He’s also a talentless hack, which is one reason why he’s so bitter. The other reason is he like to “just suck dick” as you put it and doesn’t want to embrace who he knows he really is. He’s also stupid due to the fact that he couldn’t keep the one band together that actually made him sound better than a first round reject from American Idol. Did you hear is latest excretion on the radio? Got about a week of air play before it was flushed, which was seven days too late.

So shove it up your ass you juvenile, non-punctuation using murderer of the English language.

6. kevlarchick - January 3, 2008

Axl also had some heinous plastic surgery. Looks like a tranny now.

7. Axl - January 13, 2008

Fuck you.

8. axl rose's #1 fan!!! - February 9, 2008

axl is a really cool guy and does not disverve 2 b made fun of because i know he has a hard life. only because you r not his biggist all time fan like me doesn’t give you the right 2 say dat. im just saying fuck all of you that hate his guts. hes hot and get over it like ur all over ur mom.

9. axl rose's #1 fan!!! - February 9, 2008

axl rose could keep the band togrther but the band quit on him. he is a reallyyyyyyyy awesome resonable guy and i know whats its like 2 b made fun of. every day i carry around a pic {or five} of him and chat ’bout him alot an people mak fun of me. man its fucking not cool. so fuck de fuck off an go suck ur moms dick because hes cool an ur not!

10. BrewFan - February 9, 2008

axl rose is a poo-poo head

11. axl rose's #1 fan!!! - February 9, 2008

fuck you

12. BrewFan - February 9, 2008

See what kind of influence axl has been on you? I think you need counselling and a great big hug.

Oh, and did I mention axl rose is a stinky doody head?

13. axl rose's #2 fan - February 9, 2008

You shut up you mean nasty man! axl rose is the bestest singer and guitar player in the whole universe and everybody must love him or I’ll tell them to get fucked right now!

Can you believe this place axl rose’s #1 fan!!! ?

14. Michael - February 9, 2008

Dear Axl Rose’s #1 Fan:

Sir, I concur with your sentiment that Axl has been unfairly maligned in this post. He is a brave man, an excellent musician, and an example for all of us. His outstanding character is not in the least diminished by the fact that he fucks sheep. That is really nobody’s business.

15. Sobek - February 9, 2008

Keep egging him on, BrewFan. Maybe it’ll boost this post in the rankings.

16. BrewFan - February 9, 2008

I’m all about helping a brother out…

17. Sobek - February 9, 2008

I love the new headline.

18. BrewFan - February 9, 2008

Its a hit magnet. Trust me.

19. Sobek - February 9, 2008

Maybe I should edit the text to point out that Jessica Alba nude virgins naked drunk coeds threesome humidor.

20. BrewFan - February 9, 2008

That should do it. Back on topic: Did you know that axl rose started out as a clarinet player? True story.

21. Sobek - February 9, 2008

I take it that was before he was bitten by a gay zombie.

22. lauraw - February 9, 2008
23. Sobek - February 9, 2008

CURSE YOU WOMAN!!!

Wait a minute.

“It took six people to restrain a naked woman on High Street, San Fernando, yesterday. She was seen around midday walking the street and eventually stopped in front of Value Optical where she proceeded to lie outstretched on the pavement.”

It took six people to subdue someone who was already prone on the ground? Heh.

24. lauraw - February 9, 2008
25. lauraw - February 9, 2008

Remember this guy? She might have acquiesced if he had used a different approach. Like, um, not robbing her. Or improving his appearance, perhaps trying to be a bit more romantic about it.

That kind of thing never happens to me, dammit.

26. Mrs. Peel - February 9, 2008

and i know whats its like 2 b made fun of

I nominate this statement for Most Likely to be True.

27. Michael - February 9, 2008

I nominate this statement for Most Likely to be True.

GLAR!

Heck, I think that comment should go into the IB Commenters Hall of Fame™.

If we had one.

28. IB: Now With 50% More Fecal Particle Density! « Innocent Bystanders - February 10, 2008

[…] 10, 2008 Posted by BrewFan in Commenting Tips, Crime, Websites. trackback Our Fearless Leader wondered out-loud about the possibility of a Comment Hall of Fame. Well, as Assistant <strike>To […]

29. suraj - February 26, 2008

slash come back in guns n roses

30. yo mama - March 12, 2008

I LUV AXL ROSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

31. Sobek - March 12, 2008

Yes, but would you still love him if he bit you on the leg? Which raises the broader philosophical question: can the walking undead feel emotions such as love?

32. Muslihoon - March 12, 2008

If they can feel hungry, why not? But then I suppose “hunger” is more an urge than an emotion. But don’t they all, emotions and urges, come from the same source – some massive biochemical juju?

33. Sobek - March 12, 2008

I say they don’t.

Standard zombie canon suggests that the living dead are animated by the two most primal instincts: eating and reproducing. Even if we lump those two instincts in with love as part of “biochemical juju,” I propose that there are different levels of biochemical juju depending on the specific creature.

For example, dogs are clearly motivated by the primal urges to eat and hump (everything that moves or that doesn’t move). But in addition to that, they exhibit signs of higher consciousness, such as genuine affection for human companions (whether or not that affection rises to the level of “love”). Cats display the two primal urges, and also other emotions, such as pure, malevolent evil. But as the life-form becomes less sophisticated, so does the level of biochemical juju, to the point where you get to viruses, which scientists debate whether they are even alive in any meaningful sense.

The next question is, whether a zombie is more like a person, a dog, or a virus. Certainly a zombie looks like a person (unless it is a zombie dog: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3EMmsh-KdTY). But a statute of a person looks like a person, and yet is very unlike a person. It is not the shape of the thing, but the behavior of the thing. After literally minutes of painstaking research on the subject, none of which I am going to cite right now, I have to conclude that zombies are more like viruses in terms of their behavior. This tends to suggest a more limited level of biochemical juju, and hence a lack of capacity to feel love.

34. Axl - March 12, 2008

I love you too, yo mama. I also love braaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiins…

35. Muslihoon - March 12, 2008

Thank you, Sobek. I feel educated indeed.

36. axl - April 4, 2008

ur all retarded. axl has had a shitty life and he needs to be cut some slack. chill the fuck out

37. slash - April 4, 2008

Axl is a dick, and his facelift is horrible. Here’s what he’ll look like in a few years.

38. Don't have a name - April 16, 2008

weird

39. sweetchildo'his - June 17, 2008

Axl just needs a hug, doesn’t anyone agree? Axl Rose is effin brilliant and I love the hell outta him. He is sooo sexy 😉

40. Victor - June 22, 2008

Fuck all of u bitches!!!!!! Axl rocks!!! He owns all of you!!!

41. clair - July 30, 2008

hey!! don’t say that about axl!!! You’re fuckin assholes!!

42. Michael - July 30, 2008

I love it when dorks show up on an ancient post like this.

43. Muslihoon - July 30, 2008

You’re fuckin asshole

Now, “You’re” is what sort of construction, pray tell?

“You are” as in “Behold, I shall describe you, which is a copulating anus.”
OR
“You are” as in “Behold, now I am using the present continuous tense, describing what one is copulating with (viz., an anus).”

44. Michael - July 30, 2008

Musli, you crack me up.


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