Lamest Guest Post Contest July 30, 2006
Posted by Michael in Websites.trackback
I’m just opening this post so that people can start making nominations. The contest is not over until Ace comes back and kicks us out.
I humbly suggest that my posts featuring dinosaurs, Pam Anderson cheesecake, and country music are worthy of your consideration
Gotta admit, though, Geezer’s dragonfly picture is a strong contender.
My biggest concern is that Dave is going to steal the prize with some last-minute pool blogging.
P.S. In the other sweepstakes, I just got my seventh spurwing plover comment.
Update: WOO HOO! Make that eight nine spurwing comments.
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Innocent Bystanders 
Dino post so far. God that was lame.
I actually got an email from the Commissar at Politburo Diktat telling me he thought it was great, and he put up a post just to link it. But, as he pointed out on his blog, it was an inside joke that only about five people would get.
Good enough for me.
Well, the Dino post photo and caption made me laugh.
“Ace laughs, Paul sulks”.
I think a better contest would be, who gets the most spurwing comments.
Of course divided by the ratio of posts/comments.
Just to be fair.
Men plan. God laughs.
*Dave searches his dresser drawer frantically*
“Honey, have you seen my Hugh Jackman underwear? I need to take a picture of it for a post at AoS”.
Of course divided by the ratio of posts/comments.
Nope, not buying that formula. It’s total spurwing comments in whole numbers. I worked for those comments, dammit.
I also feel entitled to some kind of special award for being the first person to post a video on AOSHQ. I know he must have some reason for not doing that, but he neglected to mention it in his “rules.” Hope he’s not too pissed about it.
Men plan. God laughs.
Damn you, Dave! You are going to pool-blog, you bastard. That’s just not fair.
I really loved this comment at Ace’s:
I kind of scanned the IB guest posts and didn’t see Skinbad or any of the IB babes except LauraW and she posts there all the time.
Who else missed the golden opportunity?
Maybe Skinny will be a late-entry into the contest.
Somewhere Skinny said he was going to pass. I think he’s like actually busy with real life or something.
I’d like to think the IB babes are saving themselves for us.
Man proposes, God disposes.
OK, I’m a pedant.
BTW, I’m kicking youse guy’s asses when it comes to number of comments per post at AoSHQ. Bwahahahaha!
BTW, I’m kicking youse guy’s asses when it comes to number of comments per post at AoSHQ. Bwahahahaha!
True Brew.
We *could* have posted some Flypaper Posts like Top Ten lists or Movie posts but we were going for Content.
Wasn’t that what we were doing, Michael?
Brew that lead-off haiku of yours was priceless.
Now that I think about it, I may have pandered to the crowd. And thanks for not mentioning that half the comments in that thread were mine! lol!
Wasn’t that what we were doing, Michael?
Yes, I believe it was.
I, for one, was not going to lower myself to yelling “Flame War” or “Haiku Flame War” or any such nonsense.
I took the high road, and actually found pics of Pamela Anderson sticking her tits out and stuff. And I am not the least bit jealous that Brew is getting all the comments. No sirree Bob.
Not. At. All. Jealous.
And thanks for not mentioning that half the comments in that thread were mine!
Crap, another missed opportunity.
Brew, that’s cause you’re working harder at it than the rest of us.
At least you were until Michael posted that recent crap.
I nominate the Mentos videos – both of them.
Dang I’m right there with you elzbth… those sucked ass.
RL gets in the way of blogging.
In other news, swing dancing totally kicks ass. That is all.
Mrs. Peel, tell us. Did the cute guy show up again?
Of course he did. Did he ask you out?
🙂
‘Reparation for the past, and swing dancing for the future,’ is our motto
Thank You, Ace . . . — Michael
. . . for the opportunity to play with your blog. I still haven’t found your stash of lesbian porn that must be here somewhere, but still, it was fun. Don’t forget to change your password tomorrow. Thanks also…
You all did a great job–I really enjoyed it.
Michael: Ace doesn’t have a rule against embedding videos, he just doesn’t know how to do it. He mentioned a few days ago that he wanted to start doing that.
Now I’ve got to decide where I stand on this voting thing…
You all suck
Michael – just so you know: I have a new nephew (10 days old) named Darwin.
I had NOTHING to do with the name selection.
Pixy,
lol! Now I’m going to have to lobby my daughters to name one of their next kids Martin Luther or something!
I had only one cup of coffee so I posted my nomination over on the AOS site and now that I’ve had two cups of coffee II understand I’m supposed to nominate here.
I enjoyed all the guest blogging (except those awful mentos vids) but since I have to choose I vote for BrewFan for his flame wars one and haiku.
Mrs Peel, let’s take this over to the IB Wimmins and Spurwing Only blog. Tell all about your man!
You are going to pool-blog, you bastard. That’s just not fair.
It’s not about fair, it’s about winning. Screw you bub.
I want to know about this boy Mrs. Peel. And don’t get your dander up again about me calling him a boy. He’s a man to you. He’s a boy to me. Nothing wrong with that.
Is he a nice boy?
Mrs. Peel-
We need to know about this fella you’ve been courtin’ because we have to be sure he’s good enough for you.
You’re like a daughter to us old guys.
*gets weepy*
*stuck in Haiku mode*
The CAPS LOCK is on
Apostrophe key is blocked
It’s Spurwing Plover
harrison, don’t be gettin sappy now, we may have to kill him.
I’d like to think the IB babes are saving themselves for us.
Welp, there goes my lunch.
Nothing could suck harder than the call for civility. That is a violation of the AoS lifestyle.
“I’d like to think the IB babes are saving themselves for us.”
Yeah, that’s it Michael. You’re dead on brotha.
Except for the lovely Mrs Peel, who is saving herself for true love/lust/soul deep intellectual emotional connection.
and a guy who digs babes with one leg.
and can *still* swing dance.
While guest posting.
What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents.
On the topic of IB Wimmins Only comments, here is the harrowing tale of the very first time I was ever asked for a date, back in 1999:
This fellow – we’ll just call him “Darren” – was a senior, while I was a sophomore. I knew him from German club, and had a mild crush on him for some reason or other. On the way out of school one day, I ran into him, and we talked for a few moments. He discovered that I like baseball, and asked me to go to a game with him. I accepted, and he said he’d call me.
I never saw or heard from him again.
…Until last summer, when he emailed me out of the blue asking if I remembered him and saying that he had Astros tickets, so maybe if I remembered him and wanted to get together sometime I could write him back. Apparently, my acceptance was supposed to remain valid for six frickin’ years.
Needless to say, I declined his generous offer.
the very first time I was ever asked for a date, back in 1999:
1999.
My vasectomy was 8 years old by then.
God. They say youth is wasted on the young. Whoever “they” are, they are goddamned right about that.
I meant “that’s an amusing anecdote Mrs. Peel and you sure showed him”.
forgot my manners.
My vasectomy was 8 years old by then.
LMAO!
I’m hitting puberty about now.
Mrs. Peel is the same age as my oldest daughter. What relevance that has I’m not sure. It is a little unsettling though.
Actually, I now think my premature “Thank You” exit post now deserves some consideration for the prize, given that Ace came back a day late, is claiming to be exhausted, and still wants us to do the heavy lifting for him.
it was excessively suck ass
Mrs Peel is not *that* much older than my granddaughter who will arrive here tomorrow.
Dave and Brew only *think* they’re old.
All I know is that Ann Coulter thinks you are all sappy wusses.
And she’s got the gun.
And Jack M can shove civility up his ass.
And, Mrs. Peel, if a guy thinks about you after 6 years of not seeing you, isn’t that a) a compliment, and b) an indication of depth and sincerity? (or c) that the guy thinks really far ahead (see b)) Just askin’.
I saw it more as unbelievable arrogance, because the guy assumed that I would still be available and interested.
What do the IB Wimmins think?
Mrs Peel, I agree with you. That is some arrogance. A guy I was pining over in college rejected my affections, then came back a year later and said “I’m ready for a relationship.”
First of all, that’s a very gay thing for a man to say at a drunken frat toga party; secondly, I wasn’t “waiting for him.” So I sorta chucked and said “sorry pops, I gotta go–see those guys over there? They want me NOW.”
I had the tap to the keg. They were howling at me like hungry wolves. A chick needs to feel “wanted.”
“I’m ready for a relationship. First of all, that’s a very gay thing for a man to say at a drunken frat toga party”
Do you need me to translate that for you?
Damn you Brew. The fact that my toga was soaked down the front with spilled beer is completely irrelevant.
You keep using this word “irrelevant”. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Mrs. Peel, it sounds like he was going through a dry spell, a famine, and that made him think back on the “feast” times and the opportunities he turned down.
IMO, the only way he could have salvaged it was to have admitted that he messed up, acknowledged that you probably have many men who want your company, and begged you for another chance, if you happen to be available.
Not: “Hey dude, I have some tickets, wanna go?”
Maybe he was in a car accident and got amnesia. He might have thought it was just yesterday that he asked Mrs. Peel to a ball game. I swear, you women always want to overlook the most obvious explanations
Unlike you “amnesia prone” guys, we NEVER forget.
Sucks, doesn’t it?
Unlike you “amnesia prone” guys, we NEVER forget
Truer words have never been spoken.
women never forget
no shit, really?
It’s all becoming clear now, but it’s like I’m in some crazy mix-up alternate universe… I am going to call it CrazyWorld.
In CrazyWorld women want to know if they’re fat but if you tell them they get mad!
The answer to that question is always, “My darling, you look as lovely as the day I first laid eyes on you.”
Then while she’s standing there stunned, wondering who you are, you sneak out the room.
In CrazyWorld, men always wipe the seat.
I’m like totally there, Dude.
In CrazyWorld™, they actually vote on the LAMEST guest post at aceofspadeshq this past weekend.
I’m just sayin. Dangling chads and all.
Nominated: Mentos Posts
Vote: 1
It wins.
In CrazyWorld™, one vote decides the winner.
Not so fast. My flame threads were nominated by the lovely and bright Patty Ann
Brewfan’s flame threads
Nominated: yes
Votes: 0
Awwright, first you add these vowel things to your blog header and now your name! Whatupwiddat?!
Are you talking to me?
“Brewfan’s flame threads
Nominated: yes
Votes: 0 ”
What!!!!! This is what Patty Ann said:
“…but since I have to choose I vote for BrewFan for his flame wars one and haiku.”
I think this election is rigged.
If Michael’s in on it, it’s rigged.
In CrazyWorld™, vowels mysteriously appear then disappear for no apparent reason other than having been noticed.
Yes! No! I was talking to Elizab…
waitaminute…
*head explodes*