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Heart Of Gold October 28, 2006

Posted by Michael in Music.
18 comments

Feisty Republican Whore Posts Her Picture October 28, 2006

Posted by Michael in Websites.
11 comments

I know you’re curious.

Firefly Fans Fight Back October 28, 2006

Posted by Retired Geezer in Religion, Science.
5 comments

It’s one of them cautionary tales involving Lawyers

“What happens when a film studio and a fanbase get into bed? Fans of Joss Whedon’s Firefly, and the movie by Universal Studios — Serenity — are not amused. After being encouraged to viral market Serenity, the studio has started legal action against fans (demanding $9000 in retroactive licensing fees in one case and demanding fan promotion stop), and going after Cafepress.

The fans response? Retroactively invoice Universal for their services.”

F’n Universal Studios.

Slashdot | Firefly Fans Fight Back Against Universal

Dave’s “Afterburner” chili recipe October 28, 2006

Posted by daveintexas in Food, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.
44 comments

It’s getting cold outside.  Time for a big ol pot of chili.  This is how we make it in Texas.

Afterburner Chili


From memory (I have patented this over many many years).
Ok, 2 lbs ground beef or chili beef.
2 cans pinto beans (or your fav. I’m not picky)
4 cloves of garlic, diced eensy teensy (do it yourself! you will thank me again and again!)
half a sweet onion, diced not quite so fine. You want to chew these little goobers.
5 tbsp chili powder
1 tbsp paprika
1 tsp salt (to taste, I like a little less salt)
1 tsp white pepper
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp ground cumin (I recommend fresh. mmm!)
1/2 tsp
Tabasco. God bless General McIlhenny. Did you know he was a Marine?
OOO-RAY!
1 jalapeno pepper, diced so fine you can’t tell what it was
1 habanero pepper, after filling out the forms from the EPA for handling toxic waste. diced similarly to Mr. Jalapeno. Imagine a cute Veggie Tale face. And cut it off.
4 cans agua (water, you silly caucasians)
1 tbsp masa flour
3 oz. Maker’s Mark (yeah, you could use Jim Beam. But call it your recipe, not mine) (more…)

It’s Friday Again! October 27, 2006

Posted by Michael in Websites.
70 comments

The outsourced Innocent Bystanders Advice Department is standing by to receive your questions.  Any questions.  If you can’t think of any questions, start with the fact that something is seriously wrong with you and you don’t know what to do about it.  Ask about that.  Don’t be shy.  You’re not the only person who is totally screwed up.

Dave@GR Has a Breakdown October 27, 2006

Posted by Retired Geezer in AA - Uncategorized.
1 comment so far

It’s not what you think, or maybe it IS.

Wild Pigs Worse Than We Thought October 26, 2006

Posted by Michael in Crime, Gardening.
40 comments

In light of a recent Innocent Bystanders main page comment and thread regarding the hazardous nature of feral pigs, I have some bad news.  Those sneaky porcine jihadists have resorted to biological warfare.

SWINE BIOWEAPONS!!!

Swine Bioweapons

 (AP) Wild pigs may have spread deadly bacteria onto a California spinach field, sparking an outbreak that killed three people and sickened more than 200 others nationwide, investigators said Thursday. They also said the outbreak appears to be over.

. . . 

Samples taken from a wild pig, as well as from stream water and cattle on the ranch, have tested positive for the same strain of E. coli implicated in the outbreak, Reilly said.

. . .

Wild pigs are one “real clear vehicle” that could explain how E. coli spread from cattle on the ranch to the spinach field less than a mile away, Reilly said. The pigs could have tracked the bacteria into the field or spread it through their droppings, he said.

Blame Wild Pigs For Tainted Spinach?

Pompeii Brothel Reopens October 26, 2006

Posted by Michael in History.
17 comments

Well-travelled commenter Lipstick can now return to her favorite Roman ruin.

Pompeii Brothel

I visited Pompeii on a vacation with Mrs. Michael and the kids about a dozen years ago, when this exhibit was open.  Pompeii  is in a rather run-down area of Italy, but the trip is worth it.  The ruins are truly awesome; a remarkably detailed and fascinating preservation of everyday Roman life that is not available anywhere else on earth.

By Marta Falconi

Updated: 2 hours, 49 minutes ago

POMPEII, Italy – It was the jewel of Pompeii’s libertines: a brothel decorated with frescoes of erotic figures believed to be the most popular in the ancient Roman city.

The Lupanare — which derives its name from the Latin word “lupa,” or “prostitute” — was presented to the public again Thursday following a yearlong, $253,000 restoration to clean up its frescoes and fix the structure.

Pompeii was destroyed in A.D. 79 by a cataclysmic eruption of Mount Vesuvius that killed thousands of people — and buried the city in 20 feet of volcanic ash, preserving Pompeii for 1,600 years and providing precious information on what life was like in the ancient world.

Pompeii’s Most Popular Brothel Goes On Display

Favorite Headline of the Day October 26, 2006

Posted by skinbad in History.
1 comment so far

Bill Clinton stumps on wife’s home turf

 

The Road to Hell October 26, 2006

Posted by Lipstick in Humor, Science.
14 comments

Why don’t you join me there by clicking the link?

You know you want to.

(SFW)

http://hogwhitman.com/2006/10/25/celebrity-endorsements.aspx

How to Put on a Bra October 26, 2006

Posted by Retired Geezer in Gardening.
35 comments

This is how I imagine all the IB Babes put on their bras.

It’s how DinT would put *his* on.

If he admitted to wearing one.

It’s probably SFW

Mating Habits of Idaho Potato Weevils October 26, 2006

Posted by Retired Geezer in Ducks.
81 comments

I’m not sure I speld ‘weevils’ correctly. Sometimes I have trouble with that rule, you know i after e when preceded by v or when sounding like dubbleyou.

First I wrote Weevels but that didn’t look right.

Then I wrote Weevles but I was sure that was wrong.

Weevals? Nope.

Weevuls? I don’t think so.

I’m determined to figure this out without using the spelcheker but the more I look at it, the more confused I get. It’s like if you say a word over and over it starts to sound like gibberish. You can try this in the privacy of your own home. If you’re not home and you are at your place of employment, I recommend trying this in a low voice or even a whisper.

Ready? Let’s get started.

Have you thought of your word? It helps if it has more than 2 sylabals, I mean cylabels, wait… sillables? No, I’m sure there is a y in there somewhere. We’ll let that pass for now but it helps if it has THREE DISTINCT PARTS. This is easier in the English language than in, oh… Hawaiian for instance. In the language of the Hula People, each vowel is important and gets it’s own sillabel. For instance let’s consider the Hawaiian word, Haoli. It is pronounced HA- ah – lough – eee – eee’.

The second ‘eee’ is silent (like the ‘P’ in beer) but for purposes of this demonstration it will be fine.

Haoli is a term of endearment used by the indiginous peoples of the islands to refer to any non-indiginous peoples of the islands. The loose translations is “Muthaf*n richwhitehonkey that we really hate and wish would go away but leave the cash.”

Have you chosen your word yet? I have very subtly left clues for 3 prime candidates… give up?

1. Potato

2. Silibles

3. Haoli

Feel free to choose one of these excellent examples or choose your own, just hurry the f* up.

Let’s begin.

Take a deep breath… close your eyes and imagine you are weightless… floating in the middle of the ocean… surrounded by tiny seahorses…

(I may have ripped off this line from Napoleon Dynamite)

Now say your word. Repeat it slowly and rithmecly rythmecley dang it, with rythm

I know, just sort of chant it like those dudes in the robes I used to see at airports. What’s up with those guys anyhow? I bet they know some weird words that we could use.

But I digress.

Start chanting your Very Special Chosen Word. Slowly at first then rabidly, I mean rapidly. If you’re at work, I recommend something innocuous to chant like “The voices the voices the voices the voicesthevoicesthevoices”. This might have the added benefit of getting you extra days off. (I know that technically this mini-chant is 2 words but I needed to add the extra word to make 3 sillabells. You see?)
Didn’t your word start to sound like gibberish after about 40 times

HAH!

Longtime IB commenter, Compos Mentis, said it best:

Are you trying to say we can’t stay focused? Like we’re some group of ADD addled dipshits who don’t have the capacity to commit to a subject, like we have pudding for brains? Pudding. Pudding. Pudding pudding pudding pudding pudding PUDDING! Kind of a funny word isn’t it. Pudding. I like pudding. Butterscotch, vanilla, banana, chocolate. But not that tapioca crap. “Fish eyes and glue.” That’s what Flo used to call it. Remember Flo from the sitcom Alice. Always telling Mel to kiss her grits. I don’t think I’ve ever had grits. What is grits? What is anything, really? Just a bunch of atoms, protons bouncing inside a nucleus ball with electrons orbitting all over the fucking place. We eat electrons. We are made of electrons. In essence, we eat ourselves. Boy, if I could do that I’d never leave the house! . . . What was I talking about?

So I looked it up and I was right, it *IS* Weevils.

Boy, that’s a relief.

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