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Steve Wants Advice About His Huge Hog -lauraw November 30, 2006

Posted by anycomments in AA - Uncategorized.
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Those of you with experience roasting 100+ lb. hogs on a spit, please put him some knowledge.

 I wish I had this guy’s problems. Anyhoo.

Den Beste has already voiced his opinion on the weighty subject of containing the stuffing. I’m not sure about it, though.

I don’t think I’d eat any pork skin cracklings that came in contact with chickenwire (galvanized, right?), especially since these pigs are usually deeply marinated with a lot of acidic citrus that I think would react badly with the metal coating. And you know, the skin is such a treat.

There is still the matter of a suitable cheap motor and rig-up for turning the spit.

UPDATE: Forgot to tell you; Hog On Ice is an owner-moderated site. He has had some hellacious troll issues in the past. Your comments won’t show up until he checks them through.

Comments»

1. genghis - November 30, 2006

String it up by its hind legs over a sturdy branch. Apply flamethrower as neccessary. Rotate it once in a while. Let the guests have a go at it once in a while (it’s always good to trick the guests into helping you prepare the meal….they enjoy themselves while less work for you)

Stuff before stringing up of course, but when nearly done let everyone have a whack or two at it with a baseball bat to release the stuffing (into a bowl below, of course). Call it a pignata. Also has tenderizing attributes. Award prizes after dinner.

2. genghis - November 30, 2006

I guess I should ask for clarification…he’s not trying to roast his Harley, right? Because that’s a different method altogether.

3. Dave in Texas - November 30, 2006

I know nothing about spit roasted pigs.

Burying them in coals, that I know.

4. Michael - November 30, 2006

Actually, Dave, I would be curious about that. I had a friend in Texas who knew how to do that (learned how as a frat boy), and I was hugely impressed by his acumen. He threw this great party where he had just dug a hole in his yard and cooked an entire pig. It was great. I was also impressed by the fact that he stayed up all night cooking the pig and drinking beer, and then partied his ass off the next day eating pig and drinking beer. That guy was like a god to me.

5. Dave in Texas - November 30, 2006

Then I am a god to you.

Cause I did that in Waco in 1978.

Dig a hole. Fill it with charcoal. Flame on. Throw in a whole gutted pig. Cover up. 5 hours.

Turn in 5 hours. More charcoal. Flame on. Bury it for another 5.

Very. Tasty.

6. janet Reno - November 30, 2006

“Cause I did that in Waco in 1978.

Hey – i did something like that in Waco back in ’93!

small world isnt it?

7. Michael - November 30, 2006

I hate to admit this, Dave, but you have always been a god to me.

I mean, shit, you play bass in Texas bar bands.

Me, I played clarinet in a Boy Scout marching band. I should have been Stan Getz. Plus, I totally lost the Crap Tree War at my house (frickin’ little traitor kids; I can’t believe I’m paying their tuition).

I’m such a loser.

8. Dave in Texas - November 30, 2006

six figure salary mike. you got that goin for you, and that’ll swell your nads way past clarinet lessons.

9. well amish is ever ever class high society - December 1, 2006

“six figure salary mike. you got that goin for you, and that’ll swell your nads way past clarinet lessons.”

Well i may not have a six figure salary like Michael but i do have elephantiasis – so my nads are sitting pretty .Which is nice.

10. Michael - December 1, 2006

six figure salary mike. you got that goin for you, and that’ll swell your nads way past clarinet lessons.

Dude, I’m wipin’ my ass with worthless stock options these days. The other night I gave Feisty fifty bucks because she was whining about her car and all. I was drunk. Now I’m having peanut butter sandwiches for lunch to cover that stupid gesture.

11. geoff - December 1, 2006

Time to run some ads on IB, Michael. It won’t be enough to support Feisty’s car theft habit, but it’ll buy peanut butter.

12. Michael - December 1, 2006

WordPress won’t allow it, Geoff. Besides, if I ran ads there would be some nasty litigation between me and skinbad about who is generating the traffic and how the revenue gets split.

13. Dave in Texas - December 1, 2006

Now I’m having peanut butter sandwiches for lunch to cover that stupid gesture.

Crunchy or smooth?

If you ain’t eatin crunchy peanut butter you don’t have a hair on your ass.

14. kevlarchick - December 1, 2006

I have neither a six figure salary nor elephant sized nads. But I do eat crunchy peanut butter.

15. Dave in Texas - December 1, 2006

My kinda woman! No nads and crunchy PB

16. PattyAnn - December 1, 2006

“pignata” For a second there, I thought Spurwing was commenting.

Peanut Butter? Peter Pan HONEY ROAST. Best.

17. Mr Minority - December 1, 2006

If you ain’t eatin crunchy peanut butter you don’t have a hair on your ass.

Crunchy is for no-brained morons and rednecks. Creamy is the only way to go, it doesn’t tear the bread and mixes better with the jelly, it is a thinking man’s peanut-butter. Brand = Skippy!

18. harrison - December 1, 2006

Choosy Muthas Choose JIF!
Smooth, of course.

19. skinbad - December 1, 2006

if I ran ads there would be some nasty litigation between me and skinbad about who is generating the traffic and how the revenue gets split.

We both know who is generating the traffic: Louis Réard.

20. Dave in Texas - December 1, 2006

smooth?

pussies.

21. Retired Geezer - December 1, 2006

Are Mrs. Geezer and I the only ones who like Peanut Butter and Mayonnaise?

22. kevlarchick - December 1, 2006

Skippy is the shiznit. Super chunk.

When we had pig roasts during high school, the big joke was to hide the pig’s head somewhere in the woods, take your girl out for a *walk* and accidently stumble upon a fly blown bloody pig’s head.

Did they think this was a way to get laid?

23. skinbad stafford - December 1, 2006

And she said “I don’t like spiders and snakes . . . .”

24. geoff - December 1, 2006

Did they think this was a way to get laid?

So *that’s* why it never worked. Women are so mysterious.

25. BrewFan - December 1, 2006

Peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches! Mmmmm…

26. skinbad - December 1, 2006

The Polynesian club on campus does a luau fundraiser every year. They bury a pig. I haven’t seen the preparations for it. We buried a turkey on a survival camp once. We wrapped it in wet burlap and covered it in coals and buried it. Dug it up at the end of the day–very tasty. Then, of course, I bury a duck every now and then. But that’s neither here nor there.

27. kevlarchick - December 1, 2006

I have never buried a duck. I wonder why that is.

28. Russ from Winterset - December 1, 2006

I had to run this by my wife (she’s got an M.S. in meat science from Tennessee), and she had some ideas that I posted over on Steve’s site. When she was in grade school, two of her brothers built a hillbilly hog roaster. I’ve never tried to McGyver one up myself, when it’s so easy to just go rent one from someone who’s already done all the work (and made the damn thing work so I don’t have to waste a hog or two trying to fine tune the cooker).

29. Russ from Winterset - December 1, 2006

Oh and peanut butter? We’ve got crunchy AND creamy in the cupboard. You don’t go golfing with one club, do you? Then why limit your PBJ choices to ONE type of peanut butter?

30. Lipstick - December 1, 2006

Steve has a huge hog?

Just how do you know this Laura? Is your husband aware of this?

31. a-a - December 1, 2006

“had to run this by my wife (she’s got an M.S. in meat science from Tennessee”

Does she have a sister?

32. steve_in_hb - December 1, 2006

Roast the pig huli huli style:

– Couple of minutes on its back, roll on to right side.
– Couple minutes on right side, roll on to belly.
– Couple minutes on belly, roll on to left side.
– Couple minutes on left side, roll on to back.
– Repeat.

I use this same method in bed. Successful completion of this cycle is what led to Feisty building a commemorative beer can pyramid in my bathroom. Typically, I never get past the back stage.

33. Retired Geezer - December 1, 2006

Peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches! Mmmmm…

Preach it, Brother.

34. Dave in Texas - December 1, 2006

crunchy peanut butter on toast.

oh yeah

35. lauraw - December 1, 2006

Hubby likes a peanut butter and bacon sandwich once in a while. Its surprisingly good.

He will also make these quick little snacks, consists of a good cracker (not a saltine) topped with sharp cheddar and a little strawberry jam. I could eat a million of those little things.

Simple but tasty.

36. Michael - December 1, 2006

Peanut butter on a carrot stick!

37. over amishs shoulder and down his back - December 1, 2006

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Peanut butter and Pickles? P.B. and Mayo?! Thats horrible.

The only thing that i can imagine that would taste worse than these ideas would be a peanut butter and man-ass combo found in a federal penitentiary death row salad tossing.

“Hey! youve got man ass on my peanut butter!”

“Hey! youve got peanut butter on my man ass! NOW TAKE IT BITCH!”

38. Dave in Texas - December 2, 2006

Sometimes I put a little butter on the toast before I put the peanut butter on.

Try it. You’ll thank me.


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