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No Arms, No Legs, No Problem November 27, 2006

Posted by skinbad in News.
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Saw this on the news last night. It sort of reminded me of the recent IB discussion of mega families. These parents had 11 children and then adopted a baby boy with no arms and legs.  He’s doing pretty well. If heartwarming, feel-good stuff offends you, horseman, pass by.

Keeping the PMS discussion alive November 27, 2006

Posted by composmentis in Sports.
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Some helpful hints for Dave in Texas:

I’m disappointed with the lot of you November 27, 2006

Posted by skinbad in Ducks.

Well, make that half disappointed. Of the two items that caught my eye over the long (away from the computer) weekend, a half-hearted attempt to mention the Boise Zamboni drive-thruers was made. Although R.G. gets a pass for not keeping his thumb on the pulse of all news spudder for the past few days.

HOWEVER, what am I to make of your willful ignorance of this headline:

Experts say panda porn to thank for rise in cubs

After years of painstaking research, scientists say they have unleashed a baby boom among one of the world’s most beloved but endangered animals, China’s giant panda.

A bit of panda porn has helped too, they say.

”It works,” enthuses Zhang Zhihe, a leading Chinese expert, about showing uninitiated males DVDs of fellow pandas mating.

Must I be the one to use the phrase “Eats, shoots, and leaves” for the appropriate comedic effect? Apparently I must. 

The article explains that female pandas are sexually receptive for as little as 48 hours during a year.

Headache, busy, bad time of the month, need a shower, body image issues, I guess you can if you really want to, too tired, talking to mom, just did hair. . . .

Oh, did you want to? Didn’t you hear me last month? Check back sometime next May.

No wonder those effers look so sad. They deserve to go extinct.

Throw Knives At The Celebrity Of Your Choice November 26, 2006

Posted by Michael in Crime, Philosophy.

Keep in mind that you’re supposed to be trying to miss the person.

 If you choose Paris Hilton, your sloppy aim is understandable.

Yoko Ono Calls For Worldwide Healing November 26, 2006

Posted by Michael in News.

 Yoko Ono

Yoko Ono has been doing some deep thinking about how to make the world a better place.

John Lennon’s widow is calling for the anniversary of his death to become a day of worldwide healing.

In a full-page advertisement appearing Sunday in The New York Times, Yoko Ono urges readers to mark the anniversary by apologizing to those who have suffered because of violence and war.

Huh?  I don’t exactly see why the average reader of the New York Times should apologize for violence and war. 

In the open letter, Ono urges readers to take responsibility for failing to intervene on behalf of victims around the world.

So, we failed to “intervene” to stop every war on the planet.  I guess there’s an easy way to do that, and we just forgot to take care of it because we were too busy watching TV.

“Know that the physical and mental abuse you have endured will have a lingering effect on our society,” she writes in a portion of the letter directed to victims. “Know that the burden is ours.” 

Know that you are an idiot, Yoko.   Know that your sanctimony is an embarrassment to the species.

“Let’s wish strongly that one day we will be able to say that we healed ourselves, and by healing ourselves, we healed the world.”

Let’s wish strongly that one day publicity-seeking morons like you will shut the fuck up.

Yoko Ono Calls For Worldwide Healing – CBS News

Environmentalists want you dead; and the sooner the better. November 26, 2006

Posted by Retired Geezer in Religion, Science, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.

 Environmentalists want you dead; and the sooner the better. Did that get your attention? I certainly hope so. For it is the environmental movement’s objective to radically reduce the human population.

Well, probably not *all* of us. I guess they want to keep Barbara Streisand, Ted Turner, Cameron Diaz and George Soros and the rest of the Beautiful People around.

The Mosquito: Environmentalism’s Weapon of Mass Destruction

Mark Nicodemo has the link. 

Can I Groom Your Drive-Thru for a Big Mac? November 26, 2006

Posted by Retired Geezer in Uncategorized.
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LauraW found this gem that happened right under my nose:

Employees fired for driving 2 Zambonis on a fast-food run. 

Nobody on the planet knows more about PMS than me November 25, 2006

Posted by daveintexas in Terrorist Hemorrhoids.

Three sisters.

Three sisters in law.

Two count them two teenage daughters.

This is science.

Julio The Pool Boy At Work November 25, 2006

Posted by Michael in Personal Experiences.

The post by Dave and comments earlier today reminded me that I actually have a picture of Julio The Pool Boy, who has been the subject of remarks here and at AOSHQ for several years. 

Here is Julio hard at work after dark cleaning live oak leaves out of the first pool we ever owned. 


This is early spring (probably February) in San Antonio.   Between the pool and that fence, there is about 18 inches of ground (it slopes down, so you can’t see it here) that was full of Calla Lilies most of the time.  You’re looking at about half the pool.  This is the largest one we ever owned, and eight feet deep off that diving board.  The hot tub (obligatory in Texas) is a little to your left.

Damn those Latin Lovers.  What makes them so irresistible?

Smart Homes A Reality In South Korea November 25, 2006

Posted by Michael in Economics, Science.

Geezer and I were just emailing each other this morning about the net neutrality issue (yes, I am ashamed of this, but Geezer started it), and I mentioned smart home technology.  Then I bumped into this. 

BBC Click Online

More than 100 homes offering smart technology have just been built in South Korea and another 30,000 are planned.

Homes are controlled by adjusting a panel on the wall
Mi Yung Kim and her 10-month-old son Jae Won recently moved into their new smart flat. From the outside, their building looks like just another apartment block, but these new homes in Seoul were built with technology in mind.

The control panel on the wall maps out the apartment so Mi Yung can choose which devices to control.

The control panel looks like this:

Control Panel

The air quality here is important to mother and child and so she pops on the air purifying unit, which could be anywhere in the home, because it gets its instructions from the plug socket.

Each flat makes use of the electricity cables to transfer data as well as power.

Wireless is another option to control multiple appliances, but data through the power lines is probably a better idea.  The home power lines are secure, free from interference, and necessarily connect to every appliance.  And they are already there.  The technology to transmit data over power has been around for awhile; it’s not new.

More importantly (my point to Geezer), the functionality available does not depend on standing in front of that control panel.  You can access it remotely. 

The prospect for Web-enabled smart home services is very real, and it does not have to be expensive.  Imagine you are driving home from a long vacation.  While you are still 200 miles from home, you could grab your Blackberry and turn up the thermostates for your furnace and water heater, check the status of your alarm system, tell the Post Office and your newspaper to resume delivery, and turn on the football game you are rushing to get home for.

All of this is coming.  There is no certainty that the U.S. will be a leader.  We are not leading today.


Armed Cartoonist Surrenders November 24, 2006

Posted by Michael in Crime.

I can’t pass up a headline like that.

Miami Heral Building

Updated: 1 hour, 13 minutes ago

MIAMI – A gun-wielding cartoonist dressed in camouflage surrendered to police at The Miami Herald’s building Friday, more than two hours after arriving and demanding to see an editor of the newspaper’s Spanish-language sister paper, police said.

Jose Varela carried a semiautomatic pistol loaded with 30 rounds of ammunition, police Chief John Timoney said. He said Varela had problems with El Nuevo Herald, where he worked as a contractor, that included its position on Cuban immigrants.

Why would a cartoonist wear camouflage to assault an office building?  That’s just ridiculous.  Is he going to blend in with the potted plants?  I don’t think so.  He should have worn a suit.  Or a clown costume.

‘I’m here to unmask … conflicts’

Varela told a reporter for The Miami Herald during the incident he was “the new director of the newspaper.”

“I’m here to unmask the true conflicts in the newspaper,” Varela told The Miami Herald. “They laugh at exiles here. There are problems with payment.”

Dude, you get paid  to make people laugh.  What’s the problem?

Varela called attorney Joe Garcia several times from inside the building, Garcia told the AP in a telephone interview. Garcia said Varela was concerned about a conflict of interest at El Nuevo Herald.

OK, at least a lawyer is getting some billable hours out of this.

“All that he wants people to know is that he wants the truth to come out,” Garcia said. “I think he needs some time to work some things out.”

No, get out of here.  Really?

AP – Armed man surrenders at Miami Herald

Black Friday 2006 November 24, 2006

Posted by Michael in Websites.

The Christmas shopping season officially begins today.  Looking through the paper, you probably have noticed that there really are some great bargains out there. 

Then, if you are like me, you think about the traffic, finding a parking spot, the crowds, the lines, the hassle.

Then you think about how you will feel like a chump if the stores run out of the item you want, or you have to pay more later when the sales are over.

You need a strategy.  That’s right, a Super Efficient Shopping Strategy that will quickly get you to the stores and back with all the items you want at minimal cost and with negligible bother.  How do you do this?

I don’t know.  I’m staying home.  But if you are interested in the Super Efficient Shopping Strategy, you need only submit your inquiry to the outsourced Innocent Bystanders Advice Department.  Our professional third world advisor is eager to assist you with shopping advice, or advice on any other topic that may interest you.

Submit your question now!