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The Male Psyche At Its Best February 16, 2007

Posted by Michael in Heroes.
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Beer Cannon 101

Beer Cannon Montage

(Guys, you may want to have some tissues handy.  This is going to choke you up.)

Thanks to Pupster, who is manfully trying to butch up this site now that Dave in Texas has succombed to estrogen poisoning.

Comments»

1. Michael - February 16, 2007

These videos, by the way, are a brilliant example of the “viral marketing” concept we were talking about recently.

2. Michael - February 16, 2007

In other words, the videos were actually produced by an advertising agency that knocked down a few hundred grand to do this. The huge benefit of viral marketing is that the media costs are zero. The video has to be genuinely appealing, and you can’t overtly try to sell something. You’re just trying to enhance your brand. In this case, the brand being enhanced is that of cheap beer, and the distribution channel (Innocent Bystanders) was free.

3. Pupster - February 16, 2007

*sniff*

The beer can-boom box collision gets me every time.

4. BrewFan - February 16, 2007

How come it stops after 38 seconds? I tried to watch it on YouTube and it did the same thing.

5. Michael - February 16, 2007

I’m just guessing, Brewfan, but it could be that your POS computer is running low on virtual memory. It’s not stopping for me. I have an ancient POS computer at home. Periodically, I have to shut down, wait ten seconds to clear my memory, and restart.

6. BrewFan - February 16, 2007

but it could be that your POS computer is running low on virtual memory

Nope. Watched perfmon while the video was running and it never exceeded 50% of cpu or memory capacity.

Periodically, I have to hut down, wait ten seconds to clear my memory, and restart.

Don’t we all.

7. Michael - February 16, 2007

Nope. Watched perfmon while the video was running and it never exceeded 50% of cpu or memory capacity.

That’s because perfmon was using the other 50%.

😉

8. lauraw - February 16, 2007

The montage vid is a work of gawddamn ART.
I’m linking it.

9. BrewFan - February 16, 2007

I went to the MilwBestLight site and watched it there. Awesome. Two thumbs up. I’m going to watch the others. Be back later.

10. Retired Geezer - February 16, 2007

the distribution channel (Innocent Bystanders) was free.

Sooo, we should get, like, Free Beer eh?

11. Russ from Winterset - February 16, 2007

Thank you for this. I am truly moved.

I can’t help being an engineer & noticing that the cans were tumbling on their way to the target in several of the shots. This is an extremely inefficient condition, and some combination of a tighter fitting barrel (with some form of “hillbilly rifling” cut or raised in the PVC) and projectiles with more even weight distribution (sand and empty space in the cans make for an unbalanced projectile, which tends to tumble) should minimize that problem.

Of course, when you’re shooting at food products, boom boxes and porcelain cats from 40 feet away, max, a little tumbling of your projectile is a small problem. Did I hear them say 85 psi as an operating pressure? That doesn’t seem too bad. Should make for a fairly safe operation, which is always good when you’ve got to “make new ammo” as the night goes on.

12. Retired Geezer - February 16, 2007

The beer can-boom box collision gets me every time.

Little known fun factiod: The song playing at the Moment Of Impact was I Can Give You What You Want.

Ask Compos, he knows shit like that.

13. Michael - February 16, 2007

Sooo, we should get, like, Free Beer eh?

If you want to drink that pisswater, go right ahead. Call the brewery and tell them that you can have my six pack.

14. Michael - February 16, 2007

Geezer, you are totally full of it. The song is the 1812 Overture, you just posted a link that does not work, and you apparently don’t know how to spell “factoid.”

15. Lipstick - February 16, 2007

Michael, you sound a little cranky.

What you need is a good paraffin treatment. It’ll calm your nerves and do you a world of good.

16. lauraw - February 16, 2007

Lipstick is right.
I haven’t had one, and I’m trembling with rage.

17. Michael - February 16, 2007

*Michael is desperately fantasizing KC in a bikini with strategic guitar picks missing*

18. Michael's teen-age daughter - February 16, 2007

Daaaad, I’m hoooooome!

I can’t wait to tell you all about my …

OH MY GOD!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??!? EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

19. daveintexas - February 16, 2007

Paraffin treated hands caress a 1911A1 like nobody’s bidness.

20. Retired Geezer - February 16, 2007

Not the Background Music, the actual music playing on the BoomBox was.

*concentrates*

That New Pony Club Song, whatever the name is.

21. Hooke's Law - February 16, 2007

The bad thing about making something out of this out of PVC pipe is that it tends to fail suddenly and catastrophically when overpressured. More than one shop has come to grief through using PVC for compressed air lines.

The cannon itself isn’t so bad, ’cause the air has somewhere to go. It’s that makeshift “pressure tank” they’ve cobbled up.

I wouldn’t be anywhere near this thing when they were charging up the air reservoir.

Just sayin’.

22. lauraw - February 16, 2007

Well, come on. They only did 95 psi.

I think that’s pretty responsible.

23. daveintexas - February 16, 2007

95 is like jumping on the bed.

woof.

24. Hooke's Law - February 16, 2007

Maybe so. Until someone accidentally drops a wrench on the thing, or until a joint that wasn’t well-cemented comes apart, or until….

Then all of a sudden the air in the “tank” wants to be about 7 times bigger than it was just a second ago, and heads in that direction at close to the speed of sound, taking lots of nice little plastic shrapnel pieces with it.

Air pressure and water pressure are two different things.

I think this is cool (bein’ a guy and all), but I wouldn’t be anywhere close to it.

Again, just sayin’.

25. lauraw - February 16, 2007

*COUGHpussyCOUGH*

26. Patton - February 16, 2007

Just as good as advertised. I might even have shed a tear on the montage, though I’m not certain.

27. Brian Day - February 17, 2007

Hooke’s Law,

Yeah, PVC or CPVC is not recommended. There IS though an 185 PSI rated ABS pipe available.
http://www.hipco.com/index.cfm
Search on “Duraplus”

28. sergei - February 17, 2007

you need to get the gunny from “mail call” on this segment. He would definitely be interested.

29. Wickedpinto - February 17, 2007

R. Lee Ermy would shred the wasteful pissant maggot who found a way to waste beer.

30. Murphy - February 17, 2007

AWSOME111

31. Murphy - February 17, 2007

OOPS! Sorry, too much beer, I guess.

32. joated - February 17, 2007

Wickedpinto: They didn’t waste the damn beer! Lok at the first video. They clearly were recycling empty cans from the weekend before. Put sand in the cans to simulate the weight of the beer.

If pissy beer like lite ain’t gonna go to waste around guys who can come up with a cannon like this on the weekend.

33. kevlarchick - February 17, 2007

I think I saw Russ from Winterset in that vid.

34. geoff - February 17, 2007

It’s only a waste of beer if you can’t afford more. Otherwise you can look at it as economic stimulus.

35. tha Ca$peR - February 17, 2007

Great post!

36. BrewFan - February 17, 2007

I agree with geoff; as long as you’re chugging a Honey Weiss, shoot all the Milwaukee Best you can get your hands on.

That reminds me of something we used to do in high school. Any of youse guys ever shoot a beer?

37. Pupster - February 17, 2007

In college, if my roommate and I had the money, we used to buy a 6 pack of Bud Light and a case of Schaefer, drink the Bud Light first to kill our taste buds, cause Schaefer is some god-awful tasting 3 dollar a case beer.

If we didn’t have enough money for both, we just bought the Schaeffer and “shot-gunned” the first two.

Good times.

38. BrewFan - February 17, 2007

Yep. Thats what we used to call ‘shooting beers’. lol!

39. Dave in Texas - February 17, 2007

schaefer = headache beer

40. Retired Geezer - February 17, 2007

Any of youse guys ever shoot a beer?

No, but I have experienced a “Zillchhh”.

Any of you retards even know what that is?
It ain’t alcohol.

I’ll give you a clue, it involves Fire and a swim mask.

41. totaltransformation - February 17, 2007

Despite who made it, it is very funny!

-J. Kaiser

42. portlandflips - February 17, 2007

Ahh Nothing like great American ingenuity at its best. And they didn’t even spill a drop of Beer regardless of the brand. A Bunch of Buddies and an audience to marvel at the event. Doesn’t get much better than that.

43. abu ameerah - February 18, 2007

sweet….

but if i were to build this very same contraption in my backyard… someone would probably call DHS (Dept. of Homeland Security)!

44. Wickedpinto - February 18, 2007

You arguing with DA Gunny? Murphy?

Da Gunny knows.

45. geoff - February 18, 2007

Schaefer: tastes like it’s been filtered through steel wool. But it is durn cheap.

46. daveintexas - February 18, 2007

I used to buy Lucky Lager… in 1978 you could get a case for six bucks.

It had a consistency I would call, hmmm. Slimy. Yeah. That’s the word I’m lookin for. Slimy beer.

47. Michael - February 18, 2007

but if i were to build this very same contraption in my backyard… someone would probably call DHS

You must be Mormon, Abu. Nobody trusts the Mormons.

48. nickk99 - February 19, 2007

that is super cool

49. Russ from Winterset - February 19, 2007

Schafer? Beast Light? Lucky Lager?

Did I just wake up in 1986? Where’s Stroh’s and their mascot “Alex, the beer dog”?

My fave cheap beer? Red White & Blue. In 1987 you could get a case of longnecks at the Keg Shop in Ames IA for less than $5. Five dollars. Fifty dimes. Five hundred pennies. That’s about $0.01 per 1,000 dead brain cells. I can also remember when Keystone came out for the first time in 1989. Randalls’ on the North side had Keystone stacked at the end of the canned food aisle on special for $3 per 12, and I bought one twelver to see if it was pure skunk. It proved to be tolerable, so my roomies and I cashed in all our returnable cans, cleaned the change out of the couch, and bought eight twelve-packs of the swill. We even took one of our cheap steak knives & cut open one of the cans to see if we could spot the “special lining”.

Yeah, we were drunk. What’s your point?

Dubuque Star was a cheap beer that was so far beyond bad taste that you couldn’t wash the taste out of your mouth with a Drano martini. The Star Brewery in Dubuque (over on the Mississippi River North of the Quad Cities) was the place where they filmed that cinematic masterpiece “Take This Job & Shove It”. The beer was so freakin’ bad you had to grit your teeth together while you were swilling it to keep from ingesting chunks of corn. It made Grain Belt taste like Bass Ale, and we only drank it when we couldn’t afford Nite Train or Sterno. It used to go on sale for about $2.50 a twelve, and they had a hard time finding takers for it at that price. I remember getting a bunch of Star longnecks for $5 a case back in high school. We didn’t know any better.

50. Retired Geezer - February 19, 2007

My little sister wowed the neighbors when she sang the Lucky Lager Beer song at age 3. Maybe because she sang it “Nucky Nager Beer”.

I still remember the “Hamms the brew refreshing” song.

Yeah, I watched those commercials on B&W TV… so?

51. Retired Geezer - February 19, 2007

I just remembered the Plastic Overlay we bought to transform our B&W TV into color.
Plastic sheet with a green tinted bottom, blue tinted top and flesh tinted middle. Scotch tape that baby on your screen and WOW!
You really had to use your imagination.

52. BrewFan - February 19, 2007

Red, White, & Blue was decent. The bad, cheap beer of my youth, though, was Old Milwaukee. In the early ’70’s we’re talking about $0.89 a sixer. Really.

53. geoff - February 19, 2007

Once a year I suspend my beer snobbery and drink some of the swill beers as we tube down the Salt River in Phoenix. It’s kind of a point of pride to get some of the skankiest beers we can. One of the benefits is that you can’t tell when river water gets in your beer. That helps prevent the gag reflex you get when you think about the quality of the water – this is the river Ron White was talking about in the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

Most popular American beer while tubing: Strohs!!

54. Dave in Texas - February 19, 2007

Lone Star.

55. geoff - February 19, 2007

Loves to party!!

56. Russ from Winterset - February 19, 2007

Brew, my dad drank Old Mill back when I was growing up. Those stubby little 12 oz bottles. I think that was the first beer I ever sampled as a kid. Maybe that’s why I turned out the way I did.

57. Wickedpinto - February 19, 2007

In ’96 while I was in MOS school at fort gordon, you could get a case of Pabst for Nine FIDDY!.

There was so much Pabst drank, that later, when I would occassionaly reunite with my brothers from gordon, we would refer to the whole experience (easiest Effing training “school” I have EVER attended, and I took a reading comprehension class in highschool) we would refer to it as “operation Papa Bravo Romeo”

And I wouldn’t waste an ounce of the ribbon.

58. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

“operation Papa Bravo Romeo”

Hey, I just learned the alphabet, military-style. It’s fun.

November Oscar / Sierra Hotel India Tango!

India / Romeo Oscar Charlie Kilo

59. daveintexas - February 21, 2007

Yeah, but sometimes it’s an acronym. When a piece of electronic or computing equipment fails around here, we say it’s status is Tango Uniform.

Any idea what that means?

60. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

Tits Up!

(And I didn’t look it up.)

61. daveintexas - February 21, 2007

get outta here.

no way

62. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

Way.

I have very few practical skills and a crapload of trivia in my head.

63. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

We used to write NFG on stuff. I’m sure everybody knows what that means.

Bad lighting instruments or cords we would tie a figure-8 knot in the cord.

64. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

If we got a bad piece of rental gear, I would cut the plug off so they would have to fix it before sending it out again.

Did that Many Times. I guess the statue of limitations has run out by now.

65. Michael - February 21, 2007

I have very few practical skills and a crapload of trivia in my head.

Heh. Lipstick, I’ve always had the impression that you got money young. Either inherited wealth, an economically fortuitous divorce, or an early business score.

I’m not asking. Whatever keeps you in the air with enough cash to get a paraffin treatment for your lovely feet is fine with me.

🙂

66. Michael - February 21, 2007

Did that Many Times.

You are indeed a Man of Substance, Pat. I tip my hat to you.

67. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

We used to write NFG on stuff November Foxtrot Golf! No fucking good, right?

Heh. Lipstick, I’ve always had the impression that you got money young. Either inherited wealth, an economically fortuitous divorce, or an early business score.

I am an International Woman of Mystery. 🙂

68. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

Well, I got tired of getting lighting fixtures and cables that didn’t work. It’s 2am and you’re changing the show from Englebert to Mr. Paul Anka. You need everything that you ordered to work. If something doesn’t work, you won’t be able to call the rental place until 8am to get a replacement.
*stamps feet*
It just isn’t fair.

69. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

I am impressed.

70. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

As for an economically fortuitous divorce, all I got was rents and profits off the money he stole from me.

Almost wrote about it on the forgiveness thread.

71. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

And then you found Mr. LS.

*snif*

a girl in love is the most beautiful thing in the world!

72. Michael - February 21, 2007

As for an economically fortuitous divorce, all I got was rents and profits off the money he stole from me.

Aw. If you would like him to be killed, let me know. I will mobilize the Innocent Bystanders Squadron of Doom™.

73. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

Yes indeed, then I found Mr. LS, whose motto is “What’s mine is ours, what’s yours is yours”. *Sniff* Whatta man.

74. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

Aw. If you would like him to be killed, let me know. I will mobilize the Innocent Bystanders Squadron of Doom™.

Hehe, we can send Wickedpinto to break him, Bart to shave him, Skinbad to drive slooowly over him and Dave to shoot him!

75. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

That is the motto of a man who is smitten goofy in love.

I like him already.

Lemme know if you want me to get all Jack Bauer on shithead.

76. Retired Geezer - February 21, 2007

*scuffs foot*
I could, you know, give him a paraffin treatment.

77. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

on his BALLS

78. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

Aw, I love you guys.

But after a few months of stewing and feeling stupid I decided that this was God’s way of giving a lesson that would save me from something worse later on.

And, as you all know, everything is wonderful now.

Ya big loveable lugs.

79. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

aw shucks. hush

80. Lipstick - February 21, 2007

Hushing. You Bravo Lima Lima.

heh

81. BrewFan - February 21, 2007

The Viet Cong became known as Victor Charlie which morphed into Charlie Cong or just Charlie. The military is an acronym machine! I was a ninety eight golf two lima victor november and darn proud of it! 🙂

82. Dave in Texas - February 21, 2007

*peers into the mailbox for his invitation to the pillow fight*

83. Wickedpinto - February 23, 2007

And then you found Mr. LS.
*snif*
a girl in love is the most beautiful thing in the world!

BLAH *snifff* You PUSSIES *sniff* who have families!!!

*sniff*, *hold back the welling eyes* PUSSIES!

84. Wickedpinto - February 23, 2007

Topicalish,

about half of the girlfriends I broke up with I broke up with because after I slept with them, and we “cuddled” I would pay an overly attentive level of time on her belly.

The few VERY FEW girlfriends who’s belly’s I stared at after sex? Only one was able to carry children.

And that one? LIVED ON ANOTHER FUCKING CONTINENT!!!!

I BREAK BITCHES, not cuz I’m a prick, but because I give them what they want. What I want? is to be man enought to hold a woman I love as she carries my child.

I think even the most worthless man feals the same.

85. Two Stage Cluster Water Rocket! « Innocent Bystanders - October 13, 2010

[…] neither.  Personally, I don’t think they can achieve the appeal of beer cannons, but we will […]


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