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IB Contest – create your own blues name February 28, 2007

Posted by daveintexas in Commenting Tips, Crime, Gardening, Philosophy.

I know.  It’s old.  But it’s still fun.

Much more challenging than the “create your own pron star name” formula (name of your first pet + street you lived on), this one involves a little creativity, and scientific/medical research.  It goes like this:

1.  Name of a disease or infirmity

2.  Name of a fruit

3.  Last name of a US President

My own personal favorite is “Blind Lemon Taft“, but I also like “Jakeleg Strawberry Jackson“.

Those names just got the blues written all over em.

So let’s hear it IBers (and guest readers).  What’s your blues name?

Oh, and since I know you’re curious, my pron name would be Saber Pebble Beach.

I am teh sexay.

UPDATE:  feel free to throw in your pron name too.

UPDATE #2:  lauraw reminded me of another funny.  Next time you read your fortune in a fortune cookie, add the phrase “in bed” to the end of it.  Whatever it is, this always works.

“You wisely believe of the goodness of mankind….in bed“.

“You have a good heart, and are well admired…in bed“.

“You maintain a sense of balance in the midst of great success…in bed“.


1. Fluffy Whitmore - February 28, 2007

Rickety Peach Adams

2. harrison - February 28, 2007

Deaf Melon Buchanan.

When you can’t hear what you’re playin’, that’s the Blues.

3. skinbad - February 28, 2007

Human Papilloma Virus Kiwi Carter

(Cocoa Walker)

4. eddiebear - February 28, 2007

Bald Banana Buchanan

5. eddiebear - February 28, 2007

Mad Melon Madison

6. eddiebear - February 28, 2007

Tall Tomato Tyler

7. skinbad - February 28, 2007

Eddie, the judges are in consultation over whether to allow “tomato.”

Thought you should know.

8. skinbad - February 28, 2007

Nosebleed Cherries Wilson

9. compos mentis - February 28, 2007

eb, yer crackin’ me up dude.

10. compos mentis - February 28, 2007

How about Priapism Richard Simmons Clinton

11. compos mentis - February 28, 2007

Limpin’ Peach Bush?

12. skinbad - February 28, 2007

Compos, the judges are in consultation over whether to allow “Clinton.”

Thought you should know.

13. harrison - February 28, 2007

Hammertoe Huckleberry Harrison

14. Lipstick - February 28, 2007

Goiter Grape Garfield

15. harrison - February 28, 2007

Hammer Toe Huckleberry Harrison

16. daveintexas - February 28, 2007

Asthmatic Blueberry Johnson.

17. compos mentis - February 28, 2007

Constipated Watermelon Cleveland

18. Lipstick - February 28, 2007

Leper Lychee Lincoln

19. Lipstick - February 28, 2007

Canker Cranberry Carter

20. compos mentis - February 28, 2007

Dislexic Fatt Mulp

21. Lipstick - February 28, 2007

Trying again:

Canker Cranberry Carter

22. compos mentis - February 28, 2007

Constipated Watermelon Cleveland.

23. compos mentis - February 28, 2007

Smelly Elderberry Bush

24. Lipstick - February 28, 2007

Flatulant Pear Jefferson

25. Retired Geezer - February 28, 2007

Rabid Raisin Reagan

26. Retired Geezer - February 28, 2007

Hoof in mouth Horse Apple Hoover

27. daveintexas - February 28, 2007

Halitosis Huckleberry Van Buren

28. Retired Geezer - February 28, 2007

Paraffin Pansy Pecos

29. eddiebear - February 28, 2007

Cancerjaw Candy Cleveland

Wispy Watercress Wilson

30. eddiebear - February 28, 2007


Crazy Cantaloupe Coolidge

31. Fluffy Whitmore - February 28, 2007

Obese Strawberry Jefferson

I am really bad at this.

32. eddiebear - February 28, 2007

Passive Pumpkin Pierce

33. Fluffy Whitmore - February 28, 2007

Bruised Apple Kennedy


34. eddiebear - February 28, 2007

Pasty Pumpkin Pierce

35. eddiebear - February 28, 2007

Gangrene Gourd Garfield

36. daveintexas - February 28, 2007

Ok, give it up. Who’s fluffy?

Don’t say your pet cat or I will give you such a knockin.

37. skinbad - February 28, 2007

Bedsores Blueberry Buchanan

Ringworm Raspberry Roosevelt

Heat Rash Apricot Nixon

Scabies Soursop Wilson

Jock Itch Mangos Johnson

38. skinbad - February 28, 2007

Special use of former mayor’s name allowed. Just this once.

Beriberi Berry Barry

39. BrewFan - February 28, 2007

Tourettes son-of-a-bitch, damn, what the hell, why can’t I think of an f’n fruit Carter

(Pepe Allerton)

40. lauraw - February 28, 2007

Fluffy Whitmore is my porno name.

41. mesablue - February 28, 2007

Eczema Apples Buchanen

pron= Herbie Derbyshire

42. mesablue - February 28, 2007

Pus Boil Peaches Eisenhower

43. mesablue - February 28, 2007

Lyme Lime Johnson

44. daveintexas - February 28, 2007

Fluffy Whitmore is my porno name

Got a nice ring to it.

We had a cat named Fluffy when I was a kid but I wasn’t going to use that, no way.

If I had a current p-name it would be Moses Arrowhead.

I kinda like that one too.

45. lauraw - February 28, 2007
46. Retired Geezer - February 28, 2007

Beriberi Berry Barry

I move the nominations be closed… we have a winner.

47. Lipstick - February 28, 2007

I saw that Laura. He DOES have nice hair!

I hope his book does well. He’s very funny.

48. Pupster - February 28, 2007

Mad Cow Mango Madison

Frisky Woodruff

49. kevlarchick - February 28, 2007

Pron: Whiskey Southside. I kinda like that for a chick name.

50. mesablue - February 28, 2007

Dengue Daikon Wilson

Poliomyelitis Pomegranate Pierce

51. Joni Mitchell - February 28, 2007

KC, I could drink a case of you.

52. Retired Geezer - February 28, 2007

pron: Fiesty Beaver

Wait, that’s already taken.

53. NYC Beaver - February 28, 2007

Fiesty Beaver, how ya doin’?

54. mesablue - February 28, 2007

Bulbuous Bart Monroe

55. daveintexas - February 28, 2007

Whiskey Southside.

Yep. Works for me.

56. mesablue - February 28, 2007

My pron name is whey ghey.

57. Mr Minority - February 28, 2007

Crotch Lice Raspberry Jackson

my pron name is: Sam Angelfire

Come on babes, you know you want some of Sam Angelfire!

58. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Necrotizing Fasciitis Lichi Nut Van Buren

Porn name? Yenta Frederick

59. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

At one time in my life, my porn name could have been:

Lyle Lovett

I kid you not.

60. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Mesa, you lived on Ghey street?

61. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Bulbuous Bart Monroe

Wait, wasn’t the second name supposed to be that of a fru…OOOooooooo

Good one, mesa.

62. Russ from Winterset - February 28, 2007

Erectile Dysfunction Banana Van Buren

Whiskey Southside? KC, you are such a MILF.

What’s that? Oh no, I meant “Mom I’d Like to ….have French toast with”

mmmm French toast. With bacon, OJ and a tall glass of 1% milk. mmmmmmm.

one possible pron name for me: Zeke Homestead (at the time, “Homestead” had no name, but “Zeke Rural Route Four” just doesn’t sound good, and you’d have trouble fitting it onto a DVD case).

63. BrewFan - February 28, 2007

Mesa, you lived on Ghey street?

He lives in Illinois. Duh.

64. skinbad - February 28, 2007

Russ, you could have been “General Delivery” That’s kind of cool or kind of gross-depending on how you look at it. “Rural Route” doesn’t sound so good either.

65. BrewFan - February 28, 2007

Here are most all possible pron names for me:

Princess Allerton
Pepe Allerton
Suzy Holly
Tater Woodside
Trouble/Radar McDowell
Lacie/Lassie Sacco

I get around.

66. Mr Minority - February 28, 2007

I get around.

Yeah, that’s what the people at the Animal Shelter are saying. They are also saying your are banned from there. I wonder why?

67. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Erectile Dysfunction Plantain Truman

68. mesablue - February 28, 2007

He lives in Illinois. Duh.

Not any more. I got exiled to Detroit, so nothing you can say could be any worse.

Another one of my porn names is a bit ghey:

Chuck LaPrairie

69. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Let me guess, you now live in Big Beaver Road, right?

70. mesablue - February 28, 2007

I am exactly 8 miles from Big Beaver, which puts me about a block from 8 mile. The studio where eminem recorded his album is right around the corner — it is shut down now as the owner was murdered by a ‘rapper’ who didn’t want to pay his bill. Great town.

Big Beaver Rd. is exit 69 on I-75, I kid you not.

71. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Well aware of it. I once had to make a sales call to a Women’s Clinic on Big Beaver Road. It was just funny when I made travel arrangements, but when I drov ethere and took exit 69, I almost couldn’t go in, I was laughing so hard.

72. BrewFan - February 28, 2007

I got exiled to Detroit, so nothing you can say could be any worse.

Now I feel bad. Even *I* would rather live in Illinois then there.

73. kevlarchick - February 28, 2007

I’m going to post as Whiskey Southside at Ace’s. Wonder how that will go over?

“Tater Woodside” has a redneck edge to it that I dig.
“Zeke Homestead” is also hotly countrified.

Yenta? Wiser, you had a jewish pet?

74. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Yep. She was a real bitch, too. 😉

Actually, she was already named Yenta when we got her from the pound. Best dog we ever had, bar none. Smart, friendly, happy, obedient. To this day, I still don’t understand why the previous family had put her in the pound.

75. Mrs. Peel - February 28, 2007

Well, I’m late to the party, but I had thought of Tuberculosis Strawberry Buchanan. Too many syllables? How about Achondroplasia Mango van Buren?

As for my pr0n name, that would be Lady Evans. Actually not that bad, but not nearly as cool as Fluffy Whitmore or Whiskey Southside.

76. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

Lady Evans. Actually not that bad,

mmmmm, high-class porn. That’s the stuff right there, it is.

77. Mrs. Peel - February 28, 2007

Yeah, I figure Fluffy Whitmore’s a dime a dozen, but Lady Evans is top-dollar.

78. wiserbud - February 28, 2007

I can’t wait ’til Fluffy reads that.

79. Enas Yorl - February 28, 2007

Grout Grape Grant – not bad!

Oh, and pr0n name: OJ Birch. Heh, my name’s got wood! 😉

80. Dave in Texas - March 1, 2007

I’m going to post as Whiskey Southside at Ace’s. Wonder how that will go over?

You’re going to be very popular.

Lady Evans….. didn’t she star in The Big Valley? No wait, that was Linda Evans.

Trivia. John Derek was married to Linda Evans, then Ursula Andress, then Bo Derek.

81. PattyAnn - March 1, 2007

Herpes Banana Clinton
Molly Myrtle (definitely sounds like pron star name)

Dave, Bo evidently has a thing for *John*s’; John Derek and currently John Corbett.

If we’re voting, I vote for Tourettes Fruit Carter.

82. Lipstick - March 1, 2007

Ursula was first, then Linda and Bo.

Why does this useless information stick in my head??

83. daveintexas - March 1, 2007

Ursula Undress was before Linda?

I’m beginning to wonder about the man’s sanity.

HEY. You’re gonna party with KC in LV. I hate that.

I mean I hate that I ain’t gonna be there.

Life sucks sometimes.

84. Sticky B - March 2, 2007

Porn Name: Brenda PO Box 220

You’ll be seeing her on Springer some day.

Blues Name: Hemaroids RubyRed Grapefruit Coolidge

You’ll be seeing him on National Geographic.

85. composmentis - March 2, 2007

You had a pet named Brenda? Bet she could spell hemorrhoids better than you ; )

86. Willy 'brokeback' Mcmillan - August 1, 2007

Maybye some blues group names: Kain Elder and the blueberries. Whailing Patty Hempson and chargin ‘Buck’ Frisksome
Blind deaf dead hank ‘blowtank’ carmichael Mc jones
The hand shank chesnut tree trio.

87. ulises - December 3, 2007

my name is mr. (mexico) blues
the Mexico is opcional
remember me cause’ someday i will be famous!!!!
just another 14yearold bluesman, but i will be famous emailme

88. mr. mexico blues - December 3, 2007

yeah!!!!!!!! mr. blues (me) says to remember mr. blues cause mr. blues will be famous someday!believe it!!!

89. mr. mexico blues - December 3, 2007

originary from guadalajara, jalisco, mexico. my influences are b.b. king, carlos santana (which is from my country, my state and his city is 1 hour away from mine), jhon lee hooker, muddy waters, tab benoit, stevey ray vaughan, and others. the first time i came to the united states of america, i lived in madison wisconsin. (shithole of a town, i want to move to chicago or st. louis or new york or LA or baton rouge or (and especially) new orleans or back to mexico) catholic, wanna go to the rock and roll hall of fame like b.b. king. born & raised mexican from mexican parents in mexican guadalajara soil, peace-loving god-fearing dude of the people guitar player. not famous now but i will be someday. remember me in this message and E-MAIL ME @ u_guitar@hotmail.com NOW!!!!! A.S.A.P.!!!!!!!!!!! blues foreva!!!

90. MAK - March 30, 2010

Anyone can “start,” only the thoroughbred will “finish!”… in bed.

91. jspiker - October 25, 2010

Itchy Apple jackson

Rod O. Steele

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