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Thai zookeepers use Panda pron to get their boy in the mood March 27, 2007

Posted by daveintexas in Ducks, Economics.
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Hoping to encourage him to mate.

They say he’s sluggish. Feeling mopey. Disinterested. Not in the mood. He is weary of eating tons of bamboo – they have to eat tons because it is low in nutrition.

Well, he doesn’t have a job and he’s a bit overweight. That can be a bit of a buzzkill to anyone.

So for the past several weeks he’s been watching videos of sweet Panda love, which zookeepers hope is both inspirational and instructive.

He’s been kept apart from his baby for a year, part of their plan to get him all juiced and ready to go for the big game, mating season. I can tell you from personal experience that abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

So far he doesn’t seem too excited about watching the videos.

It could be worse. They could make him watch Out of Africa.

That might work. I don’t really know what Pandas like.

Comments

1. Russ from Winterset - March 27, 2007

Maybe he just wants a sammich? I know I sure do. Sammiches are almost – I say almost – as much of an aphrodesiac as viagra, Barry White songs & tequila.

2. kevlarchick - March 27, 2007

Pandas need lovins too. I always wondered about the instructional value of good pron.

3. eddiebear - March 27, 2007

“They could make him watch Out of Africa”

Trust me, when wimmins watch that, all they want to do is cry, eat some ice cream and then complain that the only thing you share with Robert Redford is the blonde hair….

Oh, wait. Never mind.

4. Dave in Texas - March 27, 2007

or maybe some Santana?

5. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

I hated Out of Africa.

6. geoff - March 27, 2007

I sat through a bit of Out of Africa, but I got really antsy and had to give it up. But I normally measure my entertainment in bullets-per-frame, so I had no business even trying.

7. Sobek - March 27, 2007

“…sweet Panda love…”

If there are three more hilarious words in the English language, I have not yet found them.

8. Dave in Texas - March 27, 2007

Something about writing that made me giggle like a retard.

9. Sobek - March 27, 2007

*surprised gasp*

10. kevlarchick - March 27, 2007

Lipstick, I liked the movie for the visuals mainly. Not Robert Redford.

Why any woman would wait around for a randy wanderer who spends more time tracking lion scat than getting laid is beyond me.

Also, “wanderer” = “unable to hold down real job.”

11. Rosetta's sister - March 27, 2007

Panda pron? Works for me!

12. lauraw - March 27, 2007

They don’t have to eat only bamboo. The can tolerate and actually enjoy a little meat now and then.

I bet a nice ribeye would get him in the mood.

13. Dave in Texas - March 27, 2007

That usually works for me, yeah.

Oh, and KC, cut Redford some slack. We don’t know he liked tracking lion scat more than he liked getting laid.

We just know he liked that more than getting laid by Meryl Streep.

I find that a very reasonable position.

14. Michael - March 27, 2007

We just know he liked that more than getting laid by Meryl Streep.

I find that a very reasonable position.

Can’t believe you said that. Every time I watch her, I’m sort of awed by the performance. But I just don’t want to screw her. It’s not like she’s unattractive or something. I can’t figure it out.

15. Michael - March 27, 2007

I mean, seriously. It’s pretty hard to get on the list of Women Michael Doesn’t Want To Screw. It’s a pretty short list. You’ve got to be Rosie O’Donnell or Cindy Sheehan or something to earn this honor.

16. Dave in Texas - March 27, 2007

It’s exactly like she’s unattractive.

17. Rosie O'Donnell - March 27, 2007

There really is a God!

18. Michael - March 27, 2007

Fuck you, Rosie.

Oh wait, I mean . . .

Never mind.

19. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

Oh wait. Crap! I meant I hated that other movie–won an Oscar–what is it? The guy’s face is all burned, Ralph Finnes…

Out of Africa I liked because of Klaus Maria Brandauer, ROWR! That is one sexy dude.

20. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

He was also the villian in Never Say Never.

21. Dave in Texas - March 27, 2007

he also had the clap

22. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

The English Patient! That is the movie I hated!

23. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

And thanks Dave. (sob)

24. Michael - March 27, 2007

Yo, Lipstick. Do you want me to ban Dave? That was a mean thing he said, and I’m lookin’ for a reason anyway.

25. Michael - March 27, 2007

I mean, banning Dave and Michelle during the same week would just keep me chuckling for a long time.

26. Lipstick - March 27, 2007

No, don’t ban Dave

🙂

27. Michael - March 27, 2007

OK, Lipstick. But only because you are protecting him.

28. Michael - March 27, 2007

BTW, Lipstick, that means you are not on the same list as Meryl Streep.

🙂

29. skinbad - March 28, 2007

Meryl Streep looks like Wayne Gretzky. They are both on my list.

30. Wickedpinto - March 28, 2007

I hope the zoo knows that I LENT that to them, and they should return it.

31. kevlarchick - March 28, 2007

I haven’t seen the English Patient. Should I? Will I be banned if I do? Will I be taken off Michael’s short list?

32. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

I’m quite sure I don’t want to be on Michael’s short list.

Also, I have not seen The English Patient.

Also, I do not plan to see The English Patient.

I will say though, on behalf of Mr. Ralph Fiennes, when my wife and eldest went to see him in a play in London a few years ago, eldest went to meet him after the play, and she said he was very cordial.

I still ain’t watching the movie. But it ain’t personal.

33. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

LOL @ Gretzky. That’s true.

34. compos mentis - March 28, 2007

I’m quite sure I don’t want to be on Michael’s short list.

So you want to be on the list of Women Michael DoesWant To Screw.

Van Halen had Diamond Dave.

Innocent Bystanders has Paraffin Dave.

35. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

just keep me off all Mikey’s goddam lists.

36. Lipstick - March 28, 2007

I haven’t seen the English Patient. Should I? Will I be banned if I do? Will I be taken off Michael’s short list?

I’m sure you’re on Michael’s big list, i.e., wimmens he wants to make sweet sweet love to.

Isn’t that why he peeks in your bedroom window?

37. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

Lipstick, attaching the expression “sweet sweet love” to a sentence with Michael’s name in it is profoundly disturbing. I may have to scrub my brain out with a Brillo Pad.

Please, dear God, make it go away.

Oh my God now I’m picturing a clarinet! AIYEEEEE!!!!

38. compos mentis - March 28, 2007

Don’t touch it Dave! You have no idea where it’s been!

Oh who are we kidding. Yes you do.

39. BrewFan - March 28, 2007

Did you know that Out of Africa features Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto? Just fit the pieces together…

40. Retired Geezer - March 28, 2007

Weren’t there also blood-sucking cattle bats?

41. the Connecticut Deer - March 28, 2007

And Klaus krautieboy had the clap. Don’t forget that.

42. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

crap

43. BrewFan - March 28, 2007

lol

44. kevlarchick - March 28, 2007

Lipstick is a bad girl today. Can’t wait to hang out with her again.

45. Dave in Texas - March 28, 2007

pillow party!

46. Lipstick - March 28, 2007

Yeah KC, we need more time next trip so we can get into more trouble!

47. Thai News - April 16, 2007

It does not work actually…


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