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Modesty Is Dying May 1, 2007

Posted by Michael in Ducks.


Here’s a picture of a model displaying swim wear (by somebody named Zimmerman) during Australian Fashion Week. At the moment, it is prominently displayed in my Yahoo sidebar as one of the most emailed pictures.

I’m wondering what makes this picture so appealing.


1. Her honey-blond tresses.

2. Her big pouty mouth.

3. Her sullen, smoldering eyes.

4. The creative, fashion-forward design of the swimsuit.

5. Something else that’s, erm, in the lower quadrant of the picture.

Call me old fashioned, but I’m thinking the casual public display of camel toe has gone far enough. I get the impression this suit was designed  to maximize the pooter exposure. You gotta wonder if they picked the model with this in mind.

Guys like some mystery  about these things, for Pete’s sake. I’m not interested in getting this much information about a chick’s pooter unless it’s personally relevant  for me under the circumstances. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Here’s my excellent musical selection for this post. C’mon, try it. It’s actually a pretty good song.



1. doc - May 1, 2007

First thing I noticed? Looks like she ate a shitload of cheeze puffs. Carry on.

2. mesablue - May 1, 2007

Tranny hooker.

3. harrison - May 1, 2007


4. Wickedpinto - May 1, 2007

Hooray for ZOIDBERG!!

5. Hermes - May 1, 2007

Sweet Camel toe of Buffalo!

6. JihadGene - May 1, 2007
7. Hermes - May 1, 2007


8. Mr. Johnson - May 1, 2007

Vaginas are scary.

9. Lipstick - May 2, 2007

Are you sure that’s not a dude?

10. Wickedpinto - May 2, 2007

For that to be a guy he needs an abnormaly large scrote, and abnormaly small teste’s.

11. Wickedpinto - May 2, 2007

Won’t mention the unit, cuz well, I can relate. I pack a deuce-deuce. I’m hung like a hamster, I couldn’t satisfy a 9 year old athenian boy, do I need to expand?

Now, I’m gonna cry.

12. Wickedpinto - May 2, 2007

I meant “athenian” in the classical catamite sense, why do I know that?

Now I’m gonna cry more.

13. Wickedpinto - May 2, 2007

honestly, I’d hit that, but I don’t have enough face to eat it.

see. . .well, there are drawbacks to being a frighteningly skinny chick, even if you are hot. Like, your body wants a little more mass, and so it compensates by making your poot look like a klaidsdales hoof, or rather a trans oceanic canal, like say. . . .panama, wrapped up in saran wrap, and tied into neat and organized boyscout knots.

I’m just saying, she’s too young, too hot, and to slim to have a poot that looks like it’s trying to make a political speech.

14. Mr. Johnson - May 2, 2007

I’m thinking collagen injections to get that full pouty look. A pouty pooter if you may. Full DSLs turned 90 degrees. I wonder if the back door is just as pouty. I’ll stop now.

15. Joan - May 2, 2007

See, normally swimsuits would have an extra panel in the crotch in order to prevent showing that much camel-toe. I dare say this was intentional.

16. cranky - May 2, 2007

Shocking! Just shocking.

Got any more like that?

17. Purple Avenger - May 2, 2007

Guys need something left to the imagination. Not burka quantities of imagination, but something.

18. PattyAnn - May 2, 2007

If it was a plaid swimsuit you probably wouldn’t even notice it.

19. composmentis - May 2, 2007

Somebody please give her a sammich to go with those cheetos.

And some kind of sash to go around her waste, er, I mean, waist. A sash would provide a little mystery and she could play peekaboo with it.

20. kevlarchick - May 2, 2007

That is nasty. Where is your mother, little missy? You think your daddy would let you leave the house like that?

And that shade of lipstick is hideous.

21. justlearningman - May 2, 2007

Might be fake!

22. Modesty - May 2, 2007

I’ve been dead for a long time pal.

Except in rural Texas.

23. eddiebear - May 2, 2007

Holy Cow! This is what I miss when a rainstorm knocks out my power.

Curse you, bad weather!

24. roc ingersol - May 2, 2007

It looks like she received a wedgie while wearing granny panties.

25. extrapolater - May 2, 2007

Wait… hold on… you’re so upset about it that you re-posted the picture and are getting massive hits off of it?

I smell bullshit.

26. dr4 - May 2, 2007

And some kind of sash to go around her waste, er, I mean, waist.

you know why the area between a womans boobs and her ass is called a waist?

Because God could easily have fit another set of tits in between there.

27. dr4 - May 2, 2007

Any help would be appreciated.

1)Anybody ever read this? What is it called?

Short Story: Two feudal land owners families have been at war over a plot of land for generations. The two owners seperatly go on hunting trips on the disputed land at the same time. A huge snowstorm begins. The two rivals meet one another, a fight begins, somehow they both end up trapped underneath a fallen tree or something. While trapped they reconcile their differences and vow to put the dispute behind them. They even start a friendly bet over who’s men would rescue them first. They see men coming to their rescue in the distance. Turns out – it aint either of their men – its a pack of wolves.

2)Short Story/Folk Tale: A man is wandering in the wilderness. He’s been travelling for years. He thinks back to the day he left, when his wife told him that she would put a candle in the window every night to help light his way home. The man sees the lights of a small town in the distance that he thinks he can stop to rest at for the night. When he gets closer he sees that it isnt a town, its his home. His wife had put out a new candle for every night that he had been away. Anybody ever read this? What is it called?

3)Photograph. I saw a picture in a book called “Time Life: A century of Pictures” or it was on a television special hosted by Brenden Frazer about photographs. The picture was black and white. It looked to have been taken between the 30s and the 50s. It was a picture of a large group of people on a street corner all looking worried about something. The point of the photo was that there wasnt any major crisis going on that should have all these people so upset, it just so happened that a bunch of unhappy people met on a street corner at one particular time. Any Clue?

4)Photograph. Looking for a picture taken around the turn of the last century, when the Eugenics movement was in full swing, of a group of homeless men carrying placards saying, “Im Illiterate” and “Support Eugenics” and things like that.

5)Music. Looking for the name of the band that does a hard rock version of “If I Only Had a Brain” from the Wizard of Oz. It appeared in a Visa commercial from a few years back. Heres a link to the commercial:


28. skinbad - May 2, 2007

#1–short story sounds like one I read by Saki. I can check on that. That’s the only one that rings a bell.

29. dr4 - May 2, 2007

You nailed it Skinbad!

It’s called “The Interlopers”

I read it in school years and years ago and had forgotten the title.

1 down – 4 to go.

30. composmentis - May 2, 2007

6) Short story: A guy in Texas goes to a local beauty salon for wimmen and treats himself to regular manicures, pedicures, and paraffin treatements. Not long after, his wife comes home early to find him dancing around the living room while wearing a girl’s high school cheerleader outfit and singing Mickey by Toni Basil.

31. dr4 - May 2, 2007

Short Story: A man shits like a bottle of Hershey’s syrup hit by a sledgehammer at a Gallagher show every time he eats anything spicier than a soda cracker.

I think the title may be “The Secret Life of Walter Shitty” or something like that…. any ideas compos?

32. Dave in Texas - May 2, 2007

oh compos you’re so fine,
you’re so fine you blow my mind
hey compos!
hey compos!

hey compos why are you walking funny?

33. geoff - May 2, 2007

Her pooter looks prehensile.

34. dr4 - May 2, 2007

This is an Australian Fashion show geoff, its obviously some sort of marsupial pouch or something.

35. skinbad - May 2, 2007

#4 photo?

36. skinbad - May 2, 2007

Better link. Some info. about the photo.


37. dr4 - May 2, 2007


how the hell did you find that? Impressive.

Did you run across any bigger versions of it by any chance?

38. Dave in Texas - May 2, 2007

Completely OT… there’s a quick time video of the poor dove that met a Randy Johnson fastball… I completely missed this last night.


scroll down under the pics

kc, don’t look at this. Trust me.

39. skinbad - May 2, 2007

I’m a simple man. Google image search for “eugenics.” To check for a bigger, better image, I might try the Library of Congress’s American Memory project. I think the NY Public Library also has a big historical image collection.

40. titus2woman - May 2, 2007

HA HA HA HA HA! *THANK YOU!* for using discreet language too~but OH soo funny! (((((HUGS))))) sandi

41. skinbad - May 2, 2007

You’ll like the book title the hot lady is reading in the first pic here:

Click to access perfecting_mankind.pdf

Haven’t found any bigger versions yet.

42. dr4 - May 2, 2007

I havent found a bigger version either. I did find a pic of a beardless Abraham Lincoln and a young thin Hitler.

Not together. Two separate pictures.

Beardless Lincoln:

43. Not thinking straight - May 2, 2007

you gotta love the toe of the camel, she is def packing !


44. mattgunn - May 2, 2007

umm, the camel toe probably? haha geez

45. Pupster - May 2, 2007

Ok, Skinny has officially freaked me out for the day. That PDF document in comment 41, page 12 of the PDF (14 of the document), I’m pretty sure that’s my Grandma.

I’m going to send it to Dad for verification.


46. Russ from Winterset - May 2, 2007

Amish, I’m thinking that the “If I only Had a Brain” song MIGHT have been done by Me First & the Gimme Gimmes. They do punk covers of tunes like “Over the Rainbow”, “Rocket Man” and REO Speedwagon’s “Take it on the Run”.

47. lauraw - May 2, 2007

Built-in bottle opener.



48. dr4 - May 2, 2007

“Built-in bottle opener.”

Dont get Michael started on another one of his “Thailand” stories.

If its by Me First & the Gimme Gimmes, Russ, i cant find it. Got a link or anything?

For some reason i thought “If i only had a brain” was done by a band called “The Miami Relatives” that appeared on the Sopranos a few seasons ago. Whatever the reason was why i thought this i have forgotten. Turns out that band was actually called “Scout” and as far as i can tell they never recorded the song.

So im back where i started from.

49. Dave in Texas - May 2, 2007

oooh I, could tell you why
the ocean’s near the shore,
I could think of things I’d never thunk before
and then I’d sit, and think some more

50. dr4 - May 2, 2007

So nobody has heard the “Candle in the Window” thing before? There was a CCR song along similar lines.

51. steve_in_hb - May 2, 2007

I generally prefer women who’s breasts protrude more than their pussy does. I’m also not digging her simian length arms.

52. gtwl - May 2, 2007

oh…You know I’m failry young but this is inprudent!

I think a bikini would have done her more justice, and that is just ..no comment

53. WordPress Wednesday News: Almost 1 Million WordPress.com Blogs, Over 4 Million Themes Downloaded, and You Want More News? at The Blog Herald - May 2, 2007

[…] Modesty Is Dying […]

54. Top Posts « WordPress.com - May 2, 2007

[…] Modesty Is Dying Jeebers. Here’s a picture of a model displaying swim wear (by somebody named Zimmerman) during Australian Fashion […] […]

55. OuteasY - May 2, 2007

Why are you interested in getting info about her puter? What a geek.

56. wiserbud - May 2, 2007

looks like a dual-core puter to me.

57. doc - May 2, 2007

I just hate to see this thread die.

58. dr4 - May 2, 2007

i’ll help keep it alive. This is a video of Richard Simmons outtakes. Not really worth watching at first – until he starts laughing. Creepy. Very Creepy.


59. BrewFan - May 2, 2007

looks like a dual-core puter to me.

Looks like a PCI slot as opposed to wiserbud’s floppy.

60. Marsha J. O'Brien - May 2, 2007

Okay, this woman (me) is definitely out of the loop. Is it pooter or puter? By the way, either is just as gross as the word vagina.
FYI camel toes hurt if you are wearing levis.

Daddy told me, ” you can be very sexy if you leave something to the imagination “. Used to dance for an entertainment company that sent dancers to parties for special events (no not one of “those”) – very professional. I did strips – but NEVER down to anything but the same leotard I taught aerobics in, and I never had ANY complaints:)

All the comments made me laugh so hard – thanks!

61. Sean - May 2, 2007

Much as I like revealing clothing … yeah, that’s a bit much …

62. Michael - May 2, 2007

Marsha — it’s “pooter.” The term “puter” is an abbreviation for computer, and was being used as a pun/joke. Some of our many computer geek readers followed up on this with computer analogies in subsequent comments.

63. wiserbud - May 2, 2007

Geek? GEEK?

Okay, yeah, you nailed me. In fact, when I was younger and just starting out, I had a girlfriend who called me her “geek pauper” in the sexiest French accent you can imagine.

So I got had that going for me. Which was good.

64. wiserbud - May 2, 2007

wiserbud’s floppy.

3 1/4 inch floppy, by the way. Not like the 5 1/2 incher you’re used to using, old man.

Wait…. that didn’t come out right…..

65. wiserbud - May 2, 2007

heh, guess I just blew my geek cred there.

66. geoff - May 2, 2007

Okay, yeah, you nailed me.

Business as usual.

67. Site Administration - May 3, 2007

IB Factoid Of The Day:

This post got about 5,000 hits yesterday, which is a lot for Innocent Bystanders.

Site Administration considers this to be a resounding affirmation of Michael’s practice of including excellent Sonific songs in his posts.

Clearly, these songs are generating a lot of traffic.

Never mind that most of you mean-spirited bastards just ignore Michael’s songs and never say anything nice them.

68. eddiebear - May 3, 2007


I doubt the music is what drew us to this post.

I’m just saying.

69. Wickedpinto - May 3, 2007

I just got an e-mail from modest, I will reprint in it’s entirety.

*gasp* remember ME! *gasp* *die*

70. krissnp - May 3, 2007

Interesting blog.

71. Travis Grant - May 3, 2007

I agree completely. We need to get rid of this porn that is on our everyday web and television.

72. neelkanth - May 3, 2007

I do admire the chaste honesty in which the post is put up.Exposure is OK but there should be some limit to it. Exposures these days on media are in many cases far more worse compared to which this one can be taken as moderate.

73. Marsha J. O'Brien - May 3, 2007

Michael, thanks for the clarification! Boy I really was off! I’ve only just had a chance to scan your blog, but I like it – and your humor!
Thanks again!

74. Marsha J. O'Brien - May 3, 2007

By the way, almost forgot, I REALLY LIKE MODEST GLOW. Good words,
positive and relaxing feel to song. Like vocal too. Thanks!!

75. geoff - May 3, 2007

By the way, almost forgot, I REALLY LIKE MODEST GLOW.

Now we know for sure that Marsha’s a sockpuppet.

76. skinbad - May 3, 2007

Flattery will get you everywhere with Michael, Marsha. I hope you have mini-blinds and aren’t afraid to use them.

77. Dave in Texas - May 3, 2007

You like Michael’s humor?

How old are you, and do your parents know you visited here?

78. Brian Purkiss - May 3, 2007

If you’re interested in reading more about modesty and the like, check out The Rebelution.

They’ve got a lot of stuff on there about the various aspects of modesty.

79. Danya - May 3, 2007

No, it’s dead.

80. fictionalcharacter102 - May 3, 2007

I can’t imagine what casual humor will look like in ten to twenty years… topless commercials and regular television programs are just around the corner. Because hey. Let’s face it. Sex sells.

81. fictionalcharacter102 - May 3, 2007

Hm. My name link was to my old site. This one should be correct.
Sorry. Still trying to get the hang of wordpress. Can’t get my avatar to show up either…

82. harrison - May 3, 2007

…in ten to twenty years… topless commercials…

I should live that long.

83. Mr. Johnson - May 3, 2007

We already have topless commercials. Manboobs are everywhere. We need some equality in advertising, I thunk. More woboobage (even just cleavage), less icky manboobage.

84. goldenferi - May 3, 2007

the trend of women dressed like whores is very sad. I find that disgusting. The trend for them to dress like truckers isn’t too good either.

85. unitedcats - May 3, 2007

This is a swimsuit? I wouldn’t have guessed. Count me as someone who is waiting for the pendulum to start swinging back on the modesty issue, some things are best left to the imagination.

86. Lipstick - May 3, 2007


Men need something to work for.

87. dr4 - May 3, 2007

eh… i dont see anything too outrageous about it.

She’s pretty hot, except for the Cheetos lipstick.

88. steve_in_hb - May 3, 2007

Wow, pussy lips really fill the seats with new customers.

dr4 –

She’s no Wilma Deering in terms of looks or committment to spreading the gospel of the cameltoe.

89. BrewFan - May 3, 2007

steve, that guy looked like he had a matching set of vaginas on the sides of his head!

90. Can France Get Any Stupider? « Innocent Bystanders - April 15, 2008

[…] I agree that skinny models are (1) repulsive, and (2) may have a negative effect on the self esteem of insecure […]

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