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Scientists Tackle New Global Warming Threat July 9, 2007

Posted by Michael in Humor, Science.
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The big new threat is cow burps.

You heard me — cow burps.

Such emissions have joined the list of deadly threats to Planet Earth. It turns out that these bovine menaces have an intolerable carbon footprint.

Here’s some belching behemoths caught in the act of expelling methane to the detriment of life on Earth. Note the recoil effect when they really rip a big one:

happy_cows.jpg

But never fear, Big Science is on the job.

LONDON (Reuters) -Manners aside, getting cows to burp less can help reduce global warming.

Using modern plant-breeding methods to find new diets for cows that make them belch less is a way to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, scientists said on Monday.

The key is developing new varieties of food that are easier for cattle to digest and also provide a proper balance of fiber, protein and sugar, said Michael Abberton, a scientist at the UK-based Institute of Grassland and Environmental Research.

This could open up plant-based solutions as alternatives to reducing stock as farmers look for ways to cut methane emissions amid warming climates, he told a briefing on farming and climate change at London’s Science Media Centre.

Good grief, just damn near anybody looking for a research grant is jumping on the Global Warming Scaremongers Bandwagon these days.

What about cow farts?

I know you are wondering. I sure am.

Turns out that cow farts are not really a big issue.

He noted the average dairy cow belches out about 100 to 200 liters of methane each day, making diet changes a key potential factor in reducing this greenhouse gas.

“There is a common misperception about how methane gets into the atmosphere,” he said. “It is actually through belching rather than the other end.”

I’m wondering exactly what sort of instruments were used to measure that, and how they were installed on the appropriate bovine orifice.

No matter. The bottom line is that we must soldier on to save our planet from Global Warming, whatever it takes. I guess this means that you and I should also attempt to control our own beer-and-pizza-induced methane emissions.

Climate Change : Yahoo! Green

UPDATE 5/10/08: Interesting discussion of methane (cow farts in particular) and other greenhouse gases at Saving Gaia With Bovine Tailpipe intervention.

Comments»

1. First - July 9, 2007

Bart.

2. Bart - July 9, 2007

I just read/heard about RFK Jr’s outrageous remarks.

Coulter was criticized for calling traitors and subversives treasonous.
Kennedy will be embraced. We’re not even allowed to be [i]skeptical[/i]. I’m beyond pissed off.

3. wiserbud - July 9, 2007

Looks like we’ll just have to eat them, I guess.

BBQ at Casa de Wiser!

Somebody get PETA on the phone. They can bring the salad.

4. geoff - July 9, 2007

I hear that scientists went back and forth over which end represented the greater danger. First it was the mouth, then it wasn’t. Finally they hedged their bets, saying it was most likely to be the front end, but the hind end couldn’t be ruled out.

In Global Warming circles, this stance is know as the “Belchin’ Waffles.”

5. Retired Geezer - July 9, 2007

Many of you will remember this picture of Mrs. Geezer having a burping contest with a cow.

6. Bart - July 10, 2007

geoff, all that for Belchin’ Waffles.

Wow. I admire your commitment to your craft.

7. Lipstick - July 10, 2007

Bravo Geoff!

(burrrp)

8. Michael - July 10, 2007

Many of you will remember this picture of Mrs. Geezer having a burping contest with a cow.

RG, your link-whoring does not excuse the fact that Mrs. Geezer is contributing to the death of our planet.

9. geoff - July 10, 2007

geoff, all that for Belchin’ Waffles.

Haven’t commented much today – I was pent up.

10. lauraw - July 10, 2007
11. lauraw - July 10, 2007

I like the ‘fix’ they’re proposing. Kinky.

12. skinbad - July 10, 2007

“Cement Mixer, Putty putty.”

Metal collars and chains. Yea, that’ll solve it.

13. kevlarchick - July 10, 2007

Don’t even get into a burping contest with me. I can shatter glass.

14. wiserbud - July 10, 2007

Don’t even get into a burping contest with me. I can shatter glass.

♥♥ Be still, my heart.♥♥

15. daveintexas - July 10, 2007

Chaining them together?

Dude, put down the shovel already.

KC, my youngest can almost make it through the alphabet in one burp.

I think it’s going to solve a lot of dating problems.

16. kevlarchick - July 10, 2007

*guzzling Pepsi*

17. daveintexas - July 10, 2007

she swallows air for about 3 minutes. I think it adds a nice depth to the overall timbre.

18. Wickedpinto - July 11, 2007

to quote ron white, “I eat the cow.”

19. States Should Lead The Fight Against Global Warming « Innocent Bystanders - July 21, 2007

[…] Minnesota, for example, they could creatively seek ways to address the global warming caused by the burps and farts emitted by their frickin’ dairy cattle. Talks on state-level climate policy were planned for the annual National Governors Association […]

20. andrew brown - October 18, 2007

they r gay

21. Sean - November 18, 2007

yeah well before cows there were millions of buffalo on the prairies. The number of animals hasn’t change so don’t blame cows. Blame yourself for driving the car that you have and gas heat in your house.

22. oh my god - it was the great white amishalo - November 18, 2007

Blame yourself for driving the car that you have and gas heat in your house.

So do you drive a fucking Buffalo or something to work Sean?

Oh thats right – hippies dont have jobs. Tonight im opening up all the windows in my huge republican tax loophole financed house and cranking the thermostat up on my gas heat to a hundred. And if i get to feeling a bit nippy im gonna go out and cut down as many innocent trees as i can, drive em back to my house in my (non emissions passing) flatbed diesel dually and chuck them into my fireplace.

FOAD hippie scum

23. How To Compensate for Cow-Belching « Innocent Bystanders - December 7, 2007

[…] How To Compensate for Cow-Belching December 7, 2007 Posted by Michael in AA – Uncategorized. trackback I have previously posted on the fact that cow-belching threatens our planet!!! […]

24. Anonymous - February 29, 2008

HFGHDFGTSDRDASERDARSRYFGKJJHK;L

25. Muslihoon - February 29, 2008
26. Muslihoon - February 29, 2008

An Israeli ad in Yiddish and English for (ostensibly against HDTV). I thought it was hilarious.

“Gevalt, it’s Sodom and Gemorah /
HDTV it’s against the Torah”

27. Muslihoon - February 29, 2008

By the way, to’evah is usually translated as “abomination”.

28. Muslihoon - February 29, 2008

You’ve heard of iTunes, now behold iJews.

29. Michael - February 29, 2008

Thanks, Musli.

I love this post. It’s one of my favorite posts by me.

The excellent music selection is what makes it great.

30. FreedomLover - April 10, 2008

Thank you guys for being out there. I feel so alone sometimes in a world of sheepish global warming ‘believers’.

31. Michael - May 13, 2008

I feel so alone sometimes in a world of sheepish global warming ‘believers’.

You’re more than welcome. I figure the best medicine is to laugh at them.

32. Jake - May 20, 2008

why is it that the cows are blamed? there wouldent be so many of them if people dident breed them for meat.

33. geoff - May 20, 2008

Don’t be a naive fool, Jake. Those cows have been planning this for a long, long time.

34. Hope - June 6, 2008

Maybe it’s not the cows fault that their belches are highly gaseous, maybe if they were given natural diets rather than grain, or maybe if they weren’t bred and kept in such massive number there would be hardly any affect at all. The problem is factory farms with thousands of cows in a small area, UNNATURAL, a good farm has no more than 30 cows, HEALTHY!

35. Russ from Winterset - June 6, 2008

A good farm has no more than 30 cows? Yeah, that’s a good farm.

Good & bankrupt.

36. Failing Florian - August 1, 2008

I can say with a clean heart and mind that I have nothing to do with the cows and their bleches. Im a Veggie, and this adds on more reason to my list of why I choose this diet of mine. But then again…if I did eat meat I would lower the pop count wouldn’t I? DARN! I fail again…

37. Gerry Brightworth - September 24, 2008

If they find a cure to cow belching, then we can find a cure for human flatulance…….Goog God! I’d pay $2000 American Dollars for a vaccine to stop my flatulance.
Yet Texas A&M University spends research dollars cloning cows.
They don not know where the money lies. No cow’s gonna pay them $2000 for reducing their belching!

Misappropriated Funds in the UnitedStates.

38. no name - November 11, 2008

This is bull shit.

39. uhuh - November 18, 2008

i love dicks 🙂

40. uhuh - November 18, 2008

just kidding i like peter :):) 😉

41. Anonymous - March 15, 2010

Cattle may contribute to global warming – but dont you think we should spend more time reducing our own carbon fotprint instead of using cattle as a scapegoat for our own failings?

42. Cathy - March 15, 2010

but dont you think we should spend more time reducing our own carbon fotprint

You go first. That fotprint — tough to reduce.

But see — you are already giving it a go.

43. Enas Yorl - March 15, 2010

You should probably stop commenting on blogs to help you reduce your carbon footprint too. Because blogs belch carbon.

Particularly this one. Seriously, y’all might want to put in an air freshener around here at least.

44. Lipstick - March 15, 2010

I just burped. Doing my part to destroy the world.

You’re welcome.

45. b b b b b b b b b b A - August 3, 2010

GCHAZ XG YXT C G TYAzb


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