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How To Use Tomatoes July 22, 2007

Posted by Michael in Ducks, Gardening.

Pupster’s post featuring Esquire’s cover photo of John Edwards has had an interesting byproduct. Several of the many blogs that linked IB (about 20 so far, I’m guessing) also visited Esquire’s site, presumably to verify that the pic was not a photoshop.

Once there, they noticed Esquire’s coverage of an Italian TV show chef — Giada De Laurentiis.


On average, this sexy television show chef uses two thirty-two-ounce cans of tomatoes every day. Over the course of a year, that’s…a lot of red sauce. And we’ve got the pictures to prove it.

Huh. Right now, we’re raising a couple of heirloom tomato plants that Lauraw sent us. I’ve been wondering about how they should be served.

Hey, Mrs. Michael, check this out . . .

A Woman We Love: Giada De Laurentiis – Esquire

Speaking of the links that Pupster generated, you can go here for a serious discussion of men’s magazine covers and a critique of the Esquire cover, ostensibly by a former editor of Penthouse.

Sadly, on The Food Network tonight, the talented, charming and stunningly hooterific Rory lost to Amy as the Next Food Network Star.

To be fair, I have to admit that Amy is also talented, charming and, um, charming.


Oh well, I did what I could.


1. harrison - July 22, 2007

That’s-a one snappy tomato!

2. kevlarchick - July 23, 2007

I like her show. Sometimes a little too much cleavage and jiggling when she’s whipping a meringue, however.

3. Dave in Texas - July 23, 2007

It appears some very smart food progamming producer has decided that Justin Wilson isn’t enough of a draw for guys like me.

It sure took them long enough.

4. BrewFan - July 23, 2007

Justin Wilson isn’t enough of a draw for guys like me


5. harrison - July 23, 2007

That’s one snappy tomato!

6. PattyAnn - July 23, 2007

Rory lost? I don’t believe it. I voted for her since you told me to. Didn’t everyone else??

7. BrewFan - July 23, 2007

I have a good feeling about this picture, Michael.

No, not that kind of feeling! I mean this could become the new Louis Reard post and you might be able to salvage some of that dignity that Pupster stole from you.

8. rsdnt@yahoo.com - July 23, 2007

KC, too much cleavage and jiggling? You say this like it’s a bad thing.

9. cranky - July 23, 2007

KC, too much cleavage and jiggling? You say this like it’s a bad thing.

10. Mr Minority - July 23, 2007

too much cleavage and jiggling when she’s whipping a meringue

Ye Hah! Her jiggling and cleavage can whip up my meringue any day.

11. eddiebear - July 23, 2007

She sure is a lot more pleasing to the eye than Paula Deen or Emeril.

Also, I recall a Herb Alpert album cover my dad has that utilize whip cream and a cherry in an impressive fashion.

12. sandy burger - July 23, 2007

It looks like she’s bathing in blood (NTTAWWT).

13. mesablue - July 23, 2007

Amy had good food chops, too. Went to some fancy french school before she moved onto the commune with her family. She also had the best leadership skills. Besides, Rory is no match for Giada in the looks department.

Now, which idiot will win Hell’s Kitchen? And, the next Top Chef is in Chicago — woo hoo!

14. Wickedpinto - July 23, 2007

Sometimes a little too much cleavage and jiggling when she’s whipping a meringue, however.

I’m with Cranky and Mr. Minority.

I think that sobek and michael and the other bible schoarly sorts will accuse of you blasphemy at any moment, and when they do, I will say “I told you so.”

15. Wickedpinto - July 23, 2007

30 Minutes of giada making whipping egg whites, or whole cream in a bra and panties will make it the highest rated cable show of all time.

16. Michael - July 23, 2007



17. Mr Minority - July 23, 2007

It looks like she’s bathing in blood

That reminds me of one of my all time favorite scenes: Ann Margaret being covered in baked beans in the movie Tommy

That was like, so HOT!

18. andy - July 23, 2007

Giada’s attractive, generally, but I’d rather watch Nigella Lawson jiggle and wiggle and whatnot when shaking and baking.

That picture of Giada makes me think she ought to be saying “Redrum! Redrum!”

19. Wickedpinto - July 23, 2007

I told you so.

20. digitalbrownshirt - July 23, 2007

Sometimes a little too much cleavage and jiggling when she’s whipping a meringue, however.


21. digitalbrownshirt - July 23, 2007

Also, I recall a Herb Alpert album cover my dad has that utilize whip cream and a cherry in an impressive fashion.

“Whipped Cream & Other Delights” helped form my heterosexuality as a child. It might be part of my borderline diabetes problem too.

22. BrewFan - July 23, 2007

hey dbs, long time no see!

23. Retired Geezer - July 23, 2007

dbs sent his Xbox360 off to be repaired so now he has buncha free time for blogging.
Come to think of it, so did I.

24. Michael - July 23, 2007

Hi, DBS. Did it stop raining in your neck of the woods?

25. daveintexas - July 23, 2007

Whipped Cream & Other Delights

I am not sure if my mom knew why I loved that album cover so much.

Or if I managed to keep it clean.

Did I say that out loud?

26. digitalbrownshirt - July 23, 2007

It rained today, but we just finished 9 straight days without rain. That’s the longest streak this year.

Still haven’t got the 360 back. Hopefully it’ll be back before COD4 comes out. I’m only half kidding about how long it’s taking. This is the second time it’s been back since we bought it.

27. andy - July 23, 2007

DiT –

Tell your mom it could have been worse; you could have overly enjoyed Soul Asylum’s Clam Dip & Other Delights.

28. Mr Minority - July 23, 2007

Or Dave, you can tell her you were a good boy and refused to have a Flash album because it gave you unpure thoughts.

29. Retired Geezer - July 24, 2007


What a feeeeeling.

30. Sobek - July 24, 2007

I realize that as a heterosexual man I’m supposed to find that picture appealing, but I think it looks absolutely disgusting.

31. BrewFan - July 24, 2007

You have to admit that at least twosome of the parts of that picture have appeal.

32. Dave in Texas - July 24, 2007

andy, you have ruined something magical from my yout.

damn ye sir.

And I’m with Sobek. Is that a dude?

33. Michael - July 24, 2007

some parts of that picture have appeal

Nice teeth, for example. That’s what I keep looking at.

34. sandy burger - July 24, 2007

The Giada De Laurentiis picture should have accompanied this post.

35. sobek - July 24, 2007

I just re-read all of those, Sandy. Good times. Also, LauraW still scares the crap out of me.

36. Wickedpinto - July 24, 2007

I assume sobek, that you are speaking of the red terror?

37. Sobek - July 24, 2007

No, WP. I just mean that the idea of swimming around in tomato sauce is horrifying.

38. Wickedpinto - July 24, 2007

Well you made me think of the red terror, it’s your fault.

I want 17 million in damages.

39. Sobek - July 24, 2007

I’ll pay you in Zimbabwean dollars, two years from now. Sound good?

40. Sobek - July 24, 2007

In Ecuadoran Sucres, 17 million is $680 dollars.

In old Turkish Lire, it’s $13.50.

41. Wickedpinto - July 24, 2007

Ecuadoran is fine.

42. Vanderleun - July 31, 2007

Nothing “ostensible” about my years with Penthouse at all.

43. Bart - December 20, 2007

Why is this one of the top posts?

44. Michael - December 20, 2007

Bart, this post is on the first page of results for a Google Imaqes search for “Giada.”

45. Bart - December 20, 2007


Well then, how do you like them apples.

46. Cathy - December 20, 2007

Bet frolic in tomatoes killed the future of her dress.

Interesting bit of info I heard –> Food Network folks want this gal to tone the shit down a bit, ’cause “foodie” viewers responding are unimpressed.

47. Bart Lagasse - December 20, 2007

Nice tits!

I never watched the show. The only chef I enjoy watching is Bobby Flay. He knows his stuff, especially on the grill.

48. Bart - December 20, 2007

Did my comment get lost?

49. Michael - December 20, 2007

Yeah, it was in the spam filter.

50. daveintexas - December 20, 2007

I miss Justin Wilson

51. Bart - December 20, 2007

That old fart from louisiana?

Was he the guy who was peddling pots and pans on infomercials about ten years and would bang the shit out of the pots to show how tough they were?

52. Cathy - December 20, 2007

Being the nerd, my favorite Food Network “chef” is Alton Brown, who mixes chemistry, science, history, cooking techniques and his amazing humor. He’s done a couple of motorcycle-on-the-road series that were awesome, and his Good Eats shows are entertaining and very informative. Last week I had no ground clove, but because he had encouraged the use of mortar and pestle to grind our own spices, I ground my own last week to make my mom’s ancient recipe for mincemeat cookies. The spice flavor was so much more alive because I ground my own.

I also like Bobby Flay’s Throwdown shows and from way back Molto Mario Batali. I still make a gnocchi recipe from one of Mario’s shows I watched about 10 years ago.

Justin Wilson was easy to watch and learn from. I miss him too, Dave.

53. Cathy - December 20, 2007

Dave, the “Good Eats” show that is starting right now (8:00 EST) is all about PIE! PIE! PIE!

Dude can’t be all bad.

54. sftdhsgfdj - December 20, 2007

All these cooking show hosts are just more of the same liberal media elite.

Did you ever notice that Julia Childs chickens only had left wings?

Its all indoctrination.

One minute youre watching Emeril baking a bundt cake and then Bam! youre a card carrying pinko commie.

Open your eyes people!

55. marco lombardozzi - February 29, 2008

Add Padma Lakshmi and Giada and you have the ingrediants for one very fine sauce.

56. madmilker - March 13, 2008

and jus think….they were to buy cow chips off me a years ago!

57. rhbcazny - April 15, 2008

Great tits!

58. Evil Con Carne - April 22, 2008

cough! cough! no comment…. haha

59. Muslihoon - April 29, 2008

Poor boy has the cough. He needs some chicken soup.

That’s what’s used for coughs, right?

Feh. Here, have some mazta balls and latke. Any excuse is good for matza balls and latke. And kreplach. And charoses. And gefilte fish.

60. Tony - May 1, 2008


61. Tony Piacenza - May 28, 2008

omg omg omg i love youuu you are sooo hott!!!!! i love you i love you. some crazy says that you look like an apple on a toothpick but i so disagree!!!! your so dreamy! i love you call me

62. Tony - June 8, 2008

you haven’t even called me yet!!!!

63. Anonymous - July 23, 2008

She’s so gorgeous!
I love the picture, but I am a little disturbed, that does look really gross to sit in.
Also, if there were meat in that sauce, that would just be nauseating.
Waste of food, Giada, waste of FOOD!

64. Rebel Without a Sauce - July 23, 2008

Somebody here is called Sobek! Why, that’s my favourite of all the defunct Egyptian gods! :O

I’m already pretty advanced at using tomatoes, myself! I’ve been eating them all my life. But I admit that sometimes even I screw it up sometimes! For example:

In the above photo, I fully intended to put it in my mouth, but something just went wrong somewhere between planning and execution. :/

65. skinbad - July 23, 2008

Psst. Ixnay on the efunct-day talk. He still thinks he’s relevant.

66. Atum-Amun-Ra-Horakhty-Ptah-Aten-Khnum - July 23, 2008

Indulge him. It’s fun to watch him think he’s all that and a ball of dung.

67. Tony - July 23, 2008

shutup ya’llll Giada is MINE!!!!!!!

68. jj - September 28, 2008


69. mesablue - October 31, 2008


70. Cathy - October 31, 2008

Howdy back, Mesa.

Happy Halloween, Sweetie.

71. DATCHILANE - December 2, 2008


72. Evil Con Carne - December 9, 2008

Tons upon tons of tomatoe sauce. She probably got rid of her panties after that. But hey at least she one have to worrie about getting sprayed by a skung. Thats what you are supposed to do right. Bath in tomatoe sauce. Or maybe she already got sprayed and the camera crew plus everyone else just couldn’t stand the smell of here but there was no time to get cleaned up. So they came up with a clever idea. Making your shot look hot but at the same time getting rid of the skunk smell. Brilliant!!!!! Unless she is French. French people pay hundreds of dollars to smell like a skunk there. So yeah thats probably it. Peace gang.

73. harrison - December 9, 2008

ECC does WP.

74. reason - July 20, 2009

There is something inherently wrong with expecting a skinny woman to know how to cook. This is why I say unto you, in the ressurection of this thread, one name, and one name alone. Ina Garten.

Reubenesque women are an acquired taste, anyway.

75. Anonymous - November 20, 2009

I think you are the best cook I have ever seen on food network.

76. 14k cross pendant - March 24, 2010

i would like to lick off all that tomato sauce

77. sarfraz akhar - March 25, 2010

Giada Pamela De Laurentiis is an Italian American chef, writer, television personality, and the current host of the Food Network programs Everyday Italian. she is simply awesome.

78. Anonymous - April 26, 2011

I agree with #2 comment.

79. Demian - June 9, 2011

Hot Hot Hot

80. Jami - October 16, 2012

Genuinely no matter if someone doesn’t know afterward its up to other users that they will assist, so here it takes place.

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