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Tomato Report September 3, 2007

Posted by Michael in Crime, Gardening.
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Periodically, I have been posting reports on the progress of the genuine heirloom tomatoes that were originally sprouted in Connecticut by a genuine horticultural expert and shipped to me by a genuine pack-and-ship professional.

I haven’t posted those reports here. I posted them on the Super Secret Thread That Bart Does Not Know About™. But never mind about that.

I thought I should share this report with everyone. My report is — they look good :

mater.jpeg

Those tomatoes are doomed to a grisly death when I chomp my teeth into them. Oh yes they are. There will be no mercy. I can hardly wait.

Comments»

1. cranky - September 3, 2007

NiceDeb says she has some nice tomatoes.

2. bartwing plover - September 3, 2007

I’m not a huge fan of tahmaidaz (that’s how it’s pronounced around here). But I love the smell of the vines and the leaves.

3. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

There goes your shield of light.

Cranky,
I’m confident most everyone agree’s, though they might be a little overripe.

4. Michael - September 3, 2007

though they might be a little overripe.

Shame on you. You’re an idiot. Really mature ripe tomatoes are what you want. That’s when the texture and flavor are the best.

5. Clarence Beaks - September 3, 2007

I can get you the Orange Juice report ealry, if you want.

6. Michael - September 3, 2007

Underage tomatoes are not soft enough, and somewhat bitter. The mature, juicy, red, ripe and flavorful tomatoes are what you should be looking for.

7. cranky - September 3, 2007

I think Michael is earning points.

Wicked, just wait ’til she gets back. You are in so much trouble, young man.

😛

8. lauraw - September 3, 2007

Wow Michael! I guess you do have enough sun on your deck after all.
I’m so glad they worked out for you.

Have only had one red one here so far, and some durn rodent got to it before me. Grrr.

Lots and lots of green ones, though. Hope the warm weather holds out to ripen them.

9. Retired Geezer - September 3, 2007

I liked to get them cold in the fridge and eat them with salt.

Standing over the sink.

10. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

Cranky, the thing I am most proud of is, that Deb has had at least one search reference for “old lady boobs.” And that was probably my fault. 🙂

11. BrewFan - September 3, 2007

I lost my whole tomato crop this year to blossom end rot. I’m very bummed out about it.

12. Dave in Texas - September 3, 2007

I lost my tomatoes in 87 to a fuckin tomato vulture!

13. lauraw - September 3, 2007

Michael,

You should rename this post and let us play the sidebar game with it.

My vote:

“Mrs. Michael’s perfect cone-shaped tomatoes”

If you’ve got the stones.

What’s going on with the tomato on the lower right of the pic? Is it on the same vine as the others? It doesn’t look like an oxheart, it looks spherical.

14. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

Dork.

15. lauraw - September 3, 2007

I’m rubber, you’re glue

nyaah

16. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

*shield* you got cooties.

17. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

Flora@ understands plants and animals and people. Well sometimes people.

18. Mrs. Michael - September 3, 2007

Lauraw,
I am so happy that these pretties are finally turning color! And happy that you are happy about it too.

I feel like your “grasshoppa” trying to be a worthy disciple of horticulture.

BTW — that one on the far right also has a coneshaped tip. You just cant see it in the pic. It’s pointed toward the opposite side.

19. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

Mrs. Michael, then what is the white thing under that tomatoe with the pasley thing going on?

20. lauraw - September 3, 2007

Thanks, Mrs. Michael.

WP, I think we’ve finally hit on the best way to communicate with each other.

Schoolyard-ese. It was in front of us the whole time.

*wipes a booger on WP’s new blue snowsuit*

21. lauraw - September 3, 2007

What are you doing wearing a snowsuit in August, anyway?

You’re weird.

22. Dave in Texas - September 3, 2007

*spitballs from my spitball machine gun

23. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

Does this mean you have a crush on me?

24. Dave in Texas - September 3, 2007

No, we’re cool.

25. Wickedpinto - September 3, 2007

Stop tapping your toe dave, I was talkig to FloraW.

26. Dave in Texas - September 3, 2007

You say “tomayto”, I say “meet you in stall 3”

27. Mrs. Michael - September 3, 2007

I took a blog-break (I admit) watching the Epilogue/Finale of the show “Ice Road Truckers.”

WP that paisley-thing you see in the photo is one of the fabric strips that are tying the tomato vine to the bamboo stake that is holding the plant upright.

28. Michael - September 4, 2007

Michael,

You should rename this post and let us play the sidebar game with it.

My vote:

“Mrs. Michael’s perfect cone-shaped tomatoes”

That’s actually a very good idea.

But I’m not going to do it. Because I’m pussy whipped. See following post.

29. Wickedpinto - September 4, 2007

I agree with Michael, even though it would be funny as all hell. I think even the hostages would feel guilty taking advantage of that joke.

Maybe we can make up a gay lover for julio, so that it looks like pitty play.

Atticus Sparticus is already taken, but to make Julio gay, would be kinda funny.

30. Wickedpinto - September 4, 2007

YOU SMELL LIKE TUBERS!!! and sound like hornets!!! not to mention, you taste like honey, mmmmmm sweet sweet honey.

31. Wickedpinto - September 4, 2007

Doesn’t change the fact that you look like quasimodo!!!

(I really have to relearn all my AOLian asciigraphsO

32. compos mentis - September 4, 2007

what is the white thing under that tomatoe with the pasley thing going on?

Yeah, with all the “boob” talk, I read that as pastie thing going on.

BTW — that one on the far right also has a coneshaped tip. You just cant see it in the pic. It’s pointed toward the opposite side.

Now if you can just get them going in opposite directions . . . 🙂

33. Retired Geezer - September 4, 2007

(I admit) watching the Epilogue/Finale of the show “Ice Road Truckers.”

That’s another thing you and Mrs. Geezer have in common.

Do you watch the one that Mike Rowe narrates, Dangerous Catch, (?) and Lobster Wars too?

I like Mike Rowe, he’s a man’s Manly Man.
Could you imagine Alan Alda narrating that show?
*shudders*

34. Wickedpinto - September 6, 2007

Mike Row is the narrator behind “The Deadliest Catch.” and is the host of “Dirty Jobs.” He didn’t narrate “lobstermen” the predecessor of “lobster wars” but I don’t like that show, so I haven’t noticed if he’s doing the voice over work for that.

He got his big hosting gig first, on The History Channel, as the host, and narrator for “The Most.”

No I’m not gay, my mom absolutely loves that guy.

35. I Love Tomatoes, and Geoff Is Worthless « Innocent Bystanders - April 29, 2008

[…] I love tomatoes, I’ve had basal cell carcinomas, and I’m interested in skin care (so long as it does […]


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