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Does Pirate Talk Seem Sexually Suggestive to You? September 19, 2007

Posted by daveintexas in Crime, Gardening.

Arrr, shiver me timbers and batten down the mizzenmast!  Swab the deck!  Avast and prepare to be boarded!!!   Arrrrrrrr!

As lauraw pointed out yesterday, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Make me proud.


1. eddiebear - September 19, 2007

Needless to say, the “booty” reference has to come into play here.

2. Cuffy Meigs - September 19, 2007
3. Bart - September 19, 2007

Shouldn’t that be Memoo? What memoo??

Oh, talk like a cowboy. Nevermind.

4. compos mentis - September 19, 2007

*lisping, and gesticulating wildly* Firsssst, I’m going to get a Brazilian wax, just like that ssscrump-dilly-icious hunk of a man Bart! Then I’m going to get a pedicure and a paraffin treatment for my hands so they’ll look FAAAABULOOUUUUSSS! And finally off to the specialist for my weekly colon cleansing. *whispers* I know it’s time cause I had Mexican last night. *much louder* And boy was he MUCHO GRANDE if you know what I mean!! JEEZUS! Forget the tube doc . . . get out the garden hooossssse!

5. composmentis - September 19, 2007


Butt Pirate!

6. lauraw - September 19, 2007

You guys are killing me

7. Cuffy Meigs - September 19, 2007

I can’t get the freakin’hang of this

8. daveintexas - September 19, 2007

arrrrr, Jim boy, climb on up yonder barrel there lad and hoist me an apple….lean yerself way over matey!

9. lauraw - September 19, 2007

Just heard a cute one on the radio:

What’s a pirate’s favorite TV show?


10. compos mentis - September 19, 2007

Alright lw, you just lost points for using the word “cute” and for repeating that joke.

11. Michael - September 19, 2007

I bet that was funny on the radio.

12. Bart - September 19, 2007

Did someone say cute?

13. Cuffy Meigs - September 19, 2007

You know what a pirate’s favorite kind of Scottish sock is?

Tube socks.


14. daveintexas - September 19, 2007

Arrrghhhh ye scurvy bilge rats, hoist me jib up high n tight, and give em a blast with the twelve pounder!!! Arrrrrr

15. kevlarchick - September 19, 2007

This saucy wench prefers a blast from the long nines.

16. daveintexas - September 19, 2007

Arrrr, I’ll be in me bunk mateys.

17. Michael - September 19, 2007

Arrr, I didn’t make it to me bunk.

Man the bilge pumps!

18. pajama momma - September 19, 2007

What did Captain Hook die from?

Jock itch.

How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buck an ear.

19. Lipstick - September 19, 2007

That scurvy butt pirate is eying your poop deck, Cap’n!

20. compos mentis - September 19, 2007

This saucy wench prefers a blast from the long nines. you
Arrrr, I’ll be in me bunk mateys.
Arrr, I didn’t make it to me bunk. Man the bilge pumps!

Sweet nibblets that’s funny.

21. Bill M'Arrr - September 19, 2007

So, Capt’n, where’s yer buccaneers?

Under me buckin’ hat, ye scurvey dog!

22. daveintexas - September 19, 2007

Hoist the mains’l ya flea-bitten scalawags, and we’ll be plunderin booty afore the sun is over the yardarm….aaarrrr

23. skinbad - September 19, 2007

A pirate saw his friend walk by with a paper towel on his head. “What’s up with the paper towel?” he called out.

His friend called back, “I’ve got a bounty on me head!”

24. Michael - September 19, 2007

Damn ye scurvy dogs! Arrrr, you’ve broken the mast! We can’t be p!underin’ booty with a broken mast.

25. skinbad - September 19, 2007

Q. What’s funny about a black pirate?

A. Nothing, ye filthy racist.

Q. Where do pirates pay taxes?

A. The Aye Arrrr S

26. Cuffy Meigs - September 19, 2007
27. Retired Geezer - September 19, 2007

I guess it’s time to recycle my Pirate joke;
(Condensed for Charity)

Guy walks into a bar and sees a Pirate.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your leg”?

“Arrrr, I fell overboard and a shark bit it off”

“Did it have dead eyes?”

“Arrrr, just like a doll”.

OK, I added that last bit.

“Why do you have a hook where your hand should be”?

“Arrrr (this dialect indicates that it is the Pirate speaking), some scurvy dog cut it off with a Oldsmobile Cutlass.”

“Why do you have a patch over your eye”?

“Arrrr, (Pirate again) a scurvy seagull shit in my eye”.

“A scurvy seagull (guy wants to appear hip by adopting Pirate slang) shit in your eye? How did that make you lose your eye?”

“Arrrrrrrrrr, it was me first day with the hook”.

28. Mrs. Michael - September 19, 2007

I don’t know an effen thing about it, but I’ll take a stupid stab at the pirate thing:

Put yer lips to the scuttlebut an drink from the cask,
Then unpop your cork and fill up yer flask.

The barrelman’s fixin’ baggywrinkles atop
All mates to yer stations, ere’s no time to stop.

Hook up all yer bumpkins to brace up the sails
Or you scum er nere drinkin from Pusser’s rum pails.

Stash all loot below under births in the prow
Or its bimmy on bums or keelhauling you now.

Heave monkey fist balls to pull all yer lines in
Cuz it’s cut and run time, you scalawag kin!

29. Russ from Winterset - September 19, 2007

What’s the favorite fast food restaurant of pirates the world over?


30. daveintexas - September 19, 2007

I don’t know an effen thing about it

oh, does anybody think Mrs. Michael is bird doggin us?

31. Mrs. Peel - September 19, 2007

You’ve all heard this one before, but it still rocks. This pirate walks into a bar. He’s got a big steering wheel stuck in his groin. So he goes to sit down and order a beer, and the guy next to him looks over and says, “Hey, did you know you got a steering wheel in your crotch?” And the pirate says, “Arrrr, I know! ‘Tis drivin’ me nuts!”

32. Mrs. Peel - September 19, 2007

(and by “beer” I meant “rum”)

33. Stevie Wonder - October 21, 2008

What does a pirate drive?

a Yarrrrrris

34. digitalbrownshirt - March 16, 2012

We’ve got spammers inside the wire.

35. Since It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day… « Innocent Bystanders - September 19, 2012

[…] Here’s a sampling of the comments from five years ago: […]

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