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Fred Thompson Promises The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History October 23, 2007

Posted by Michael in Humor.

If Elected


My fellow Americans, in the coming presidential election, the voters of this nation will plot a course for the future. There are many candidates, each of whom brings a different vision of that future. But only one has the conviction and strength to lead this great country. Only one is a popular television and film actor ready to face the challenges of the 21st century head-on. And, most importantly, there is only one candidate with a bombshell trophy wife nearly a quarter-century younger than himself.

Fred’s got my vote!

If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source


1. kevlarchick - October 23, 2007

So, Michael, where is a pic of the woman? I don’t know what she looks like, and all fake racks, fake tans, and trophy wives look alike to me.

2. kevlarchick - October 23, 2007

I also understand she has her law degree. Strike two.

3. eddiebear - October 23, 2007

Personally, I find smart wimmins hot

4. daveintexas - October 23, 2007

interesting photo.

she’s a bit of a cypher, ain’t she?

5. Bart - October 23, 2007

I don’t think Onion is funny. I’d say they’re on par with Stewart and Colbert. Juvenile humor eludes me.

6. Bart - October 23, 2007

It’s more like juvenile humor pretending to be social commentary, which is even more assinine.

7. Mr Minority - October 23, 2007

Jeri may be hot but she is also one sharp cookie. Don’t let he all natural, most tantalizing, bountiful rack fool you, she has it upstairs.

8. Michael - October 23, 2007

So, Michael, where is a pic of the woman?

I’m at your service, ma’am.

Jeri Thompson

9. Michael - October 23, 2007

Juvenile humor eludes me.

We need to get another fart joke thread going, just for Bart. There’s nuthin’ better than fart jokes.

10. daveintexas - October 23, 2007

That’s a pretty uggo chick.

I’m just sayin.

11. Lipstick - October 23, 2007

Did somebody say fart jokes?

12. kevlarchick - October 23, 2007

I’m sure she’s a sharp woman, but she needs a decent top to cover those creatures. Sheesh.

13. Lipstick - October 23, 2007

Yeah, that photo is gong to haunt the campaign.

(And various guys in their bunks.)

14. daveintexas - October 23, 2007

This is what we call “unclear on the concept” counselor.

15. BrewFan - October 23, 2007

Hey Bart, is that your face or did your pants fall down?*

*Juvenile Humor, Thomas Jefferson (5th ed.)

16. daveintexas - October 23, 2007

I swear that woman is uglier than Mamie.

Why the hell is she wearing a suit and a tie??

17. BrewFan - October 23, 2007

I swear that woman is uglier than Mamie.

Granted Mamie was a bowser but no First Lady will ever be uglier then this one.

18. cranky - October 23, 2007

Hey BrewFan, what is it about Democrat women that causes the ugly to cluster like that?

19. daveintexas - October 23, 2007

she ain’t uglier than that pic Mike put up.

dude, are you like, unclear on the concept?

20. Uglo-American - October 23, 2007


21. Mrs. Peel - October 24, 2007
22. eddiebear - October 24, 2007

^And what’s wrong with that?
As for The Onion, it was like Stewart at one time. They were funny, but Bush Derangement Syndrom set in and drove them crazy to the point of unfunniness.

23. Bart - October 24, 2007

Doesn’t anyone remember when the Daily Show was funny?

It was when Craig Kilborn was on it. He was funny, the show was politically neutral. And that blonde chick, Beth Littleford was a hoot.

24. eddiebear - October 24, 2007

^ Yeah, but he was always fighting with Lizz Winstead (I think that was her name). She wanted to be more partisan. I think she wound up for a time at Air America.

25. lauraw - October 24, 2007

I liked Kilborne too. I was watching his show when whatsisface Olbermann talked shit about Bristol, CT which supposedly caused him to get fired from ESPN.

Hey, I just checked out youtube, they have a whole bunch of the old Kilborne Daily Show promos up there.

He was cute.

26. lauraw - October 24, 2007

Too bad I can’t spell Kilborn

27. Craig Kilborn - October 24, 2007

Aww, don’t worry about it schmoopy, people goof it up alla time.

I was thinking I should just go ahead and add the e.

28. lauraw - October 24, 2007

Craig, is it wrong that this news story made me laugh?


There’s just something so wonderfully awful about it.

29. Craig Kilborn - October 24, 2007

If it’s wrong dear, I don’t want to be right.

Mixing them up would have solved the photographer’s so called “problem”.

30. Retired Geezer - October 24, 2007

In my school photos they lined us up according to our ability to factor trinomial squares.

Mrs. Peel would have been first.

Just sayin’

31. daveintexas - October 24, 2007

In our class picture in high school they had to use one of those panoramic camera thingys that slowly moves from left to right (I graduated with 1000 people, it was a big ol school).

Me and my friend Russell Schroeder, a great American, can be seen in the left of the picture and the right. My hair is a little more messed up in the right picture of me.

32. lauraw - October 24, 2007

I can see why you had to have so many beatings as a child.

33. Sobek - October 24, 2007

Laura, the photo and caption at that link are bizarre. Also, aren’t you only supposed to threadjack my posts? Here I thought I was special.

34. lauraw - October 24, 2007

Momentary lapse. You most assuredly are special.

35. daveintexas - October 24, 2007

Beatings? Oh yeah. But my folks just rolled there eyes at the picture thing.

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