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Another Old Fart Puts the Smackdown on Some Punk November 29, 2007

Posted by daveintexas in Crime.
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Fought him off mostly.  But he sure as hell wasn’t taking any shit off of him.

“I don’t know how I got the power,” said the victim, Reinaldo Herrera.

It was a setup, by the victim’s nephew.  Police arrested him and the assailant, 21 year old Santos Zelaya.

Pain train.  Good for you sir.

Comments»

1. dr4 - November 29, 2007

this reminds me – the new guy at aces really sucks. kick his ass dave.

2. daveintexas - November 29, 2007

Oh hell, I thought you meant me.

3. Muslihoon - November 29, 2007

I can’t even load Ace’s pages.

Who’s the new guy?

4. Sir Nuts-a-lot - November 29, 2007

that Gabe guy. hell he may not be that new. i havent been keeping up.

5. Muslihoon - November 29, 2007

What’s Gabe up to now? International law?

6. Sir Nuts-a-lot - November 29, 2007

“What’s Gabe up to now? International law?”

International law?

I dont hate the guy or anything, but his posts are boring. Maybe his commenting skills are better. Wouldnt know. I just skim for the most part.

7. Muslihoon - November 29, 2007

I seem to perceive him to be serious-minded for the most part, with his prose reflecting said aspect. In other words, he writes about interesting stuff but hardly plays the usual AoSHQ themes or memes.

8. Sir Nuts-a-lot - November 29, 2007

“he writes about interesting stuff but hardly plays the usual AoSHQ themes or memes.”

fine. the problem is that i have already read all that stuff at Hot Air or wherever. Its just boring. AoSHQ without the ‘themes and memes’ is pretty much identical to 99% of the republican blogs out their that i dont bother to read. Whats the point?

Hell, the Headlines section with a one line joke for each story is a damn sight more entertaining than his stuff.

Its like going to Protein Wisdom and starting to read a post, looking for the funny, not finding it, and then realizing its by one of those other dudes who are crapping up the blog.

Bait and switch my friend.

Bait.And.Switch.

9. mesablue - November 29, 2007

Gabe is Ace lite.

10. Mr Minority - November 29, 2007

Gabe is Ace lite.

Mesa, I disagree, I think their styles are totally different. Ace is funny, Gabe tries to be at times and doesn’t pull it off.

Gabe is too serious, dry and condescending. I admit he is knowledgeable on some subject (or least more than me) and I can get get info from his posts, but I go to AoSHQ to read Ace stuff (and Dave’s and Laura’s) not Gabe’s. If I want to read his stuff, I’d go to his site.

11. daveintexas - November 29, 2007

I’m neither funny nor smart.

I’m the cypher-guest blogger!

12. Retired Geezer - November 29, 2007

I’m neither funny nor smart.

Yeah, but you have a Crap Tree and a Kimber.

And a Ron Paul sticker, which I think Amish should have added to your Southpark Avatar.

13. daveintexas - November 29, 2007

wait for it! It’s Christmas magic!

14. mesablue - November 29, 2007

Mr. M.,

That’s sort of what I meant. He’s trying to achieve Ace like glory with half the talent and funny. He’s also an insufferable prick. I was just being nice before. I tore into him on one of his posts late one night and all of a sudden I was getting authorization errors when I tried to post. Coincidence, maybe. But, I couldn’t get back in again until a few other people brought it up.

Anyway, go over there and read Jack M.’s post. He pretty much rips Gabe’s head off for being clueless.

15. eddiebear - November 29, 2007

Yeah. Gabe is a lawyer. You can’t trust them as far as you can throw them.

16. eddiebear - November 29, 2007

Wait! Weren’t we supposed to be talking about an old guy beating the hell out of some punk? Now if only the beatdown were accompanied by this song:

17. mesablue - November 29, 2007

Gabe is not a lawyer. He’s a third year law student — huge difference. I deal with those goofballs every year when they do their summer associate work in the law firms.

They have no clue how idiotic they come off when they try to act like they are experts in everything. I get a kick out of running into them a couple of years down the road when they’ve been ground down as first and second year associates who have come to realize that they are years from having an informed opinion on anything.

18. Mrs. Peel - November 29, 2007

Not to join the pile-on, but…aw hell, I’m gonna join the pile-on. I actually don’t dislike his posts all that much, but that’s probably because I typically skim them. But they don’t fit with AOSHQ at all, and he posts almost as frequently as Ace, which has the effect of strongly diluting the brand.

I guess Ace doesn’t care, since he hasn’t addressed it at all, and I’m sure several people have emailed him about it. (I haven’t, but I’ve thought about doing so…the main reason I didn’t is that I can’t see a way for Ace to get out of the situation without hurting Gabriel’s feelings.)

19. mesablue - November 29, 2007
20. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

You know what’s even more entertaining that DinT wearing his “special” helmet & running into the wall over & over again?

Go to a keg party at a an apartment filled with law students & “arrange” for the cops to show up. The resulting line of legal neophytes waiting in line to lecture the responding cops on collateral estoppel, probable cause, and all that legal crap will wind all the way from the front door to the back bedroom.

We got to see this at a party in Iowa City back in ’00. One of my old HS classmates had gone back to get his MBA, and he took us to one of his sister’s law school parties. After the cops came back the third time for noise complaints, we went outside to watch the comedy on a park bench. When the cops asked us what we were doing, I told them “Hey, how often do you get to see a bunch of amateur Matlocks practicing their craft?”, and they just laughed and went back to writing all their tickets.

21. amish posted this while doing the Charleston on top of a flag pole - November 29, 2007

Naw Eddie – this is the song you need to play if two toughs are gonna rumble:

22. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

As far as Gabe goes, I say we should encourage Ace to keep him around.

As long as Gabe’s around, I’m 100% sure that I’ll never be the suckiest blogger on the AoSHQ team.

23. Mr Minority - November 29, 2007

I know I shouldn’t say this, but I actually feel sorry for Gabe. I think he is trying too hard, doesn’t realize he is such an ass and doesn’t realize he puts people off.

I feel sorry for him like you would seeing a retarded dog trying to piss on trees like the big dogs do, and instead dribbles it down his leg. You know what I am saying?

I wouldn’t want to drink a beer with the buttmunch, but I feel sorry for him.

24. daveintexas - November 29, 2007

I shouldn’t say much, but I will say Gabe doesn’t have any banning authority mesa. Probably a bad comment thingy day. Like today.

What do I know? I’m a moron.

25. Amish Marx says "Familiarity breeds contempt...and children." - November 29, 2007

i had no idea the guy was actually this disliked. I just thought he was boring. Which is enough to make me hate him.

Ive read his type of posts at virtually every conservative blog on the net. Theres just nothing new there. And i guess he pulls an Allah occasionally, and becomes purposely contrarian, just to mix things up, but still…he sucks.

26. Mrs. Peel - November 29, 2007

I know what you mean, Mr. M. He’s just a young’un.

*revels in the irony*

27. eddiebear - November 29, 2007

Russ:
Good song as well. When the Missus and I took our swing dance classes, your song and mine were two of the staples.

28. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

I didnt post any music eddie – that handsome devil Amish did.

If i ever do post any tunes it will be something like this:

29. Mr Minority - November 29, 2007

I know what you mean, Mr. M. He’s just a young’un.

*revels in the irony*

Mrs. Peel, there are those that are young and act it, and then there is you who is young, but acts like a mature woman in her 30’s.

30. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

Whoa there, Amish. Don’t be appropriating my good name.

31. Amish = Foiled Again - November 29, 2007

damn. how did you know it was me?

32. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

Who else would have the Weathergirls right at hand?

Other than Bart.

33. C+C Amish Factory - November 29, 2007

i was actually going to link the “300” parody of that video, but those fat black chicks are funnier. I think one of those ladies actually sang the “Everybody Dance Now!” part of that song called…uh…”Everybody Dance Now!” i guess.

The other one wat taken out by a japanese schooner somewhere in the Yellow Sea, i think.

34. Mrs. Peel - November 29, 2007

thanks Mr. M, but I’m afraid that when stressed, I quickly revert to childishness/arrogance. Sort of like…uh…the subject of this discussion…d’oh!

(on another note, several of y’all may have noticed I am MUCH more even-keeled since my sister was safely delivered…I was obviously severely suppressing my worry about her and ended up bitching at a lot of people who didn’t deserve it. Sorry about that.)

(oh, and she broke her tailbone, but she’s doing very well otherwise, and she says it was all totally worth it. And thank goodness, he looks like our side of the family. He actually looks somewhat like me, which really pissed off my sister’s mother-in-law. heh.)

35. Michael - November 29, 2007

damn. how did you know it was me?

Aside from my knowing your IP address, nobody on this site, other than you, would imagine you as a “handsome devil.” Nobody.

I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings.

36. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

The Packers suck.

37. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

Wait.

Where am I from, Wisconsin or Iowa?

Where the fuck is Winterset, anyway?

38. Amish is the meat in a Cilla and Charybdis sandwich - November 29, 2007

I think if i put on some workboots and a nice flannel shirt i could pull of a fairly convincing bull dyke. Which means i could have my pick of Megan or Rosetta.

Or both…

39. Michael - November 29, 2007

I get a kick out of running into them a couple of years down the road when they’ve been ground down as first and second year associates who have come to realize that they are years from having an informed opinion on anything.

O yeah. That’s sort of where you start to become a lawyer.

40. mesablue - November 29, 2007

Exactly.

41. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

Iowa.

Look at the map of Iowa, and see where Interstate 80 meets Interstate 35? Winterset is about 13 miles South & 13 miles West of that point. We’re the home of the Delicious Apple (OK, the REAL home of the Delicious is Peru, but they’re a freakin’ suburb of Winterset, so we’ll take their accomplishments, dammit), the John Wayne Birthplace, and the setting for “The Bridges of Madison County”.

42. send amish, guns, and money - the shit has hit the fan - November 29, 2007

That’s sort of where you start to become a lawyer.

I figured you knew you were a lawyer when that aching in your chest where your soul used to be finally started to subside.

43. Bart - November 29, 2007

Iowa?

That’s worse than Wisconsin. You have no pro sports teams, not even a crappy one like the Packers, who just scored before the end of the 1st half.

27-17, Dallas.

44. eddiebear - November 29, 2007

Sorry Russ. I’m trying to do three things at once.

As for Gabe, I don’t have a oproblem with him. Few on our side truly annoy me. And he has been cordial to me in off site correspondence.

45. Michael - November 29, 2007

I figured you knew you were a lawyer when that aching in your chest where your soul used to be finally started to subside.

I love that Warren Zevon song, btw. It appeals to my stone cold heart. If lawyers rank with guns and money as the solution to fecal fan spray, I’ve found my calling.

46. Amish Boone - November 29, 2007

just a random thought:

wasnt the business card from Paladin the most kickass thing ever?

“Have Gun – Will Travel”

47. Michael - November 29, 2007

Damn, Amish, you’re dating yourself. I remember that from watching the original TV series.

A lot of lawyers think of themselves as gunslingers for hire.

48. Michael - November 29, 2007

Iowa? That’s worse than Wisconsin.

I will rise to the defense of Iowa. The beef there is beyond comparison.

I also noticed on my one trip to Iowa that Des Moines has excellent strip clubs at affordable prices. That was many years ago, so this may no longer be true. But this feature of Des Moines surprised me.

49. Cuffy Meigs - November 29, 2007

Malor? Don’t like him.

50. automanipulative amish - November 29, 2007

Damn, Amish, you’re dating yourself.

weeelll, i wouldnt go that far now. I think ‘fuck-buddies’ is a more accurate description.

51. Bart - November 29, 2007

Brett has left the game with an injury.

Don’t know if he’ll be back.

52. Bart - November 29, 2007

I think his backup is Bart Starr because he’s better than Brett Favre.

53. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

Being a pro sports fan in Iowa is a lot like guest blogging at Ace’s. Chicago, Kansas City, Minneapolis, St. Louis & Milwaukee/Green Bay are just reasonable road trips away, so we get a mix of fanbases here. We can drive into those towns to watch the games, and our property taxes don’t have to go to support the $300 million stadiums & tax abatement for the owners.

We’ve got the AAA Cubs team, the Dallas Stars AHL hockey affiliate, a new NBA D-league team, and the Iowa Barnstormers Arena League team is coming back as an Arena2 franchise (Arena ball got too big for a small market like us, so our team moved to Albany the year after we sent Kurt Warner to the NFL). We’ve got two D-1 football teams (Iowa & Iowa State), plus a kickass 1AA football team (Northern Iowa). UNI & Drake University have D1 roundball too, and our absence of pro teams make people follow high school ball closer than they would otherwise, which is cool.

Plus, Michael is right about our strippers. We’re not Houston, but we do have some talent to show off.

54. dr4 - November 29, 2007

….and Corn! dont forget the corn.

55. Russ from Winterset - November 29, 2007

Corn’s OK, but Soybeans are up to $10 a bushel now, so they’re the schiznit.

56. Michael - November 29, 2007

Damn, Amish, you’re dating yourself.

weeelll, i wouldnt go that far now. I think ‘fuck-buddies’ is a more accurate description.

I nominate the rejoinder by Amish for the IB Commenter’s Hall of Fame™.

If we had one.

57. eddiebear - November 30, 2007

Russ:
As a Rams fan, I am forever grateful for Kurt Warner. Yeah, the Rams suck balls now, but 1999-2001 was surreal.

58. geoff - November 30, 2007

He’s trying to achieve Ace like glory with half the talent and funny. He’s also an insufferable prick.

His first post was pretty decent, as a guest post. I think about 20-30% of his posts since then have been worth a read. But as a regular he doesn’t fit the AoSHQ style at all. If I want to read legal opinions, I far prefer Volokh and of course the IB legal team. They’re more competent and more entertaining.

I was really surprised when Ace offered him a permanent co-blogging position, since he didn’t seem to have much of a track record. In my opinion, DinTX should have been the last co-blogger admitted to the ranks, and JackM should consider some time away to cleanse his spirit.

Also, they definitely need more graphs.

Ace himself seems of a more serious bent these days. Do you suppose he’s considering a repositioning of his blog?

59. Sobek - November 30, 2007

“…the IB legal team.”

That’s it, I’m writing myself a theme song for that one.

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence, but as a first-year associate I always assumed I didn’t know what I was talking about, so that when it turned out I was right, I would be pleasantly surprised. Now that I’ve been out almost three years, I’m more or less managing the office.

I’ve also started systematically reading every single Nevada contract case. We don’t have an intermediate appellate court, and we only became a state in 1865, so it’s only 270 cases. Still, as you can probably imagine, (a) it’s taking a very long time, and (b) it hasn’t gotten me laid even once.

I don’t have any specific problem with Malor. I just don’t usually read his stuff. If I want an obtuse legal opinion, well, I don’t need anyone to help me with that.

60. mesablue - November 30, 2007

Do you suppose he’s considering a repositioning of his blog?

I think he’s been more concerned with repositioning himself. Hopefully, once he gets back to NYC, the old Ace will resurface.

61. daveintexas - November 30, 2007

Mrs. Peel, glad your sis is ok, busted buttbone and all.

62. lauraw - November 30, 2007

A lot of lawyers think of themselves as gunslingers for hire.

Bwaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa
That is so fucking sad.

63. Dave in Texas - November 30, 2007

Yes, I often think “Paladin!” when I chat with legal counsel.

64. eddiebear - November 30, 2007

^ I think “hide my wallet”.

65. skinbad - November 30, 2007

^ I thank my brother for not charging me.

66. Sobek - November 30, 2007

He doesn’t charge you?! That’s it, I’m telling the bar.

67. skinbad - November 30, 2007

Seems like he does a little something for me every five years or so. I try not to abuse it. I offer, he won’t accept. I’m probably more in debt to my kind-hearted veterinarian uncle.

68. Retired Geezer - November 30, 2007

I owe $3000 to the Skin So Smooth paraffin salon.

*sob*

Damn you Dave in Texas.

69. daveintexas - November 30, 2007

damn me indeed.

heh.

70. James - November 30, 2007

I’m new here… My two cents is in response to the gentleman who said the beatdown should feature X song… whatever it was.

I say the beatdow should actually feature the song “Yakkity-Saks”.

aaaaand I’m off.

71. Large Breasted English Women - November 30, 2007
72. More Large Breasted English Women - November 30, 2007

begin chasing after james

73. Large Brested Women - November 30, 2007

. . .Catch James and start rubbing his cranium.

74. Large Breasted Women - November 30, 2007

Then they learn how to spell…crap

75. See-dub - November 30, 2007

Just saw this thread. You guys are harsh. GM’s got an on-air-circumcision-of-a-Zambian-radio-host post up now; that’s prime AoSHQ material.

76. Large Breasted English Women - November 30, 2007

start chasing See-dub.

p.s. Too little too late Gabe.

77. Dave in Texas - December 1, 2007

this got weird.

78. Amish Didnt Run - December 1, 2007

A lot of lawyers think of themselves as gunslingers for hire.

Theres nothing on tv this morning. As usual. The History channel is on in the background. Its a show about John Wesley Hardin. Turns out he was a lawyer. And apparently he was killed by a mexican outlaw who worked part time as a Pond Boy.

That last part wasnt true. He was a lawyer though

79. See-dub - December 1, 2007

Did he snore?

80. dr4 - December 1, 2007

this got weird.

81. dr4 - December 1, 2007

And for Batman and his Sommelier

82. Retired Geezer - December 1, 2007

I’m watching that Shooting show on the History channel too.

I’ve met Bill Oglesby and I’ve had him do ‘action jobs’ on a couple of my single action revolvers. They cost $150 each, but I won them.

83. dr4 - December 1, 2007

yeah thats what im watching too.

Im always surprised to see video footage of real wild west characters. It just seems like the Wild West and the ‘modern’ 20th century should be farther apart.

I feel the same way when im reading a book written in the 1500s talking about the Americas or New World or whatever. It just feels like an anachronism.

Thats weird i know. I still think of the 21st century as The FUTURE.


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