Scared White Tourists January 23, 2008
Posted by Michael in Travel.trackback
We had a fun time last night, partying until three a.m. in some dives in San Pedro, Belize.
I had a brief, but interesting conversation on the dock outside a club we were at (the Tackle Box). I was just outside getting some air, smoking, looking at the boats, and I exchanged a few words with this little scruffy-looking black guy, then started to walk away.
He said: “Hey, big man, are you scared of me? Do I look scary?”
I stopped in my tracks, turned around and walked back to him, big smile on my face, stood real close, deliberately invading his personal space. I am about twice as big as he.
“No, you don’t scare me at all,” I said.
So then he politely offered to sell me some coke, which I politely declined. (I got offered ganja or coke five or six times last night.)
It bugged me though, that he thought I was probably intimidated by him just because he was a black guy alone with me at night on a dock in a foreign country. I guess what really bugged me is that he probably had good reason to feel that way. I’m sure he has made a friendly approach to hundreds of white tourists with nothing but a commercial transaction in mind, and correctly observed that many, if not most, are scared.
It reminded of the running joke at AOSHQ about Ace being afraid of brown people. Like must good jokes, it’s funny because there is a core of truth to the humor.
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Innocent Bystanders 
Remember my c-store anecdote from Taipei?
We don’t live there. We react funny.
Also you are a knucklehead and I’m going to mess up the nice towels.
‘Scared? No…i’m Batman.’
I get along with most black people one on one, but as a group i dont care for them much.
White men have become guilt ridden sissies. I think thats why so many white boys try to act black. Because they know they shouldnt be the pussies that they are taught to be today, and black dudes act like they still have a pair. I think most of those ‘gangsta’ type black guys are pussys too though. its just a stupid act. If white people were as mean and racist today as all those black people claim we are they would drop that attitude pretty quick.
Race War!!!
https://michaelscomments.wordpress.com/2008/01/23/scared-white-tourists/#respond
Well i see the MAN is fucking with my links again. Lets try that again:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2014688835
Isn’t it spelled “ganja”?
Whites win again.
Word.
Yes, Sobek.
Michael how big a boy are you?
On second reading i’m starting to think that Michael may have gotten something lost in translation and just ‘invaded the personal space’ of some poor Belizian soda jerk.
He met the Assistant Pool Boy who was instructed to keep him occupied while Julio took care of business, iykwimaityd 🙂
not_steve_in_hb and I about to get in a brawl in a 7-11 parking lot with a couple of young white guys dressed gangsta style. Their friend comes up – young black dude – starts putting on the gangsta show about putting a cap in us, etc.
not_steve_in_hb,”We don’t discriminate. We’ll kick your ass too.”
The three of them slink to their car and drive away.
I envy him, when he gets in a fight he’s like an action hero with his quips. I just get a weird smile and laugh, even when I’m getting hit.
Actually I meant neither_steve_in_hb_nor_not_steve_in_hb.
How long ago was this?
I just get a weird smile and laugh,
At first i read that as “I get a weird smell and laugh”
GLAR until i read it again. i need sleep.
On a sorta related note – i just watched Hard Times/the Streetfighter. Its got Charles Bronson and James Coburn in it. Ive heard about it for years but never got a chance to see it. I liked it a lot. Strother “Im surrounded by mo-rons” Martin and Crispin Glovers dad are in it too.
Bronson doesnt have a lot of witty remarks he just beats the shit out of people. He doesnt shoot anybody in this one, which is i think a first.
Definitely worth a rental.
Im going to bed. Im fuckin beat.
Heres some music:
The new guy in the other thread mentioned this song and it ties into what we’re talking about here.
lauraw –
If you are talking to me, about 4 years ago.
What was the dispute about?
Don’t remember exactly. They made some random drunk wannabe tough guy comments to us and we responded. Never saw them before the 7-11 parking lot.
Lots of guys talk crap depending on the fact that most people avoid confrontations. And most of them find some reason to back down when they realize you are matter of factly ready to fight.
Ah. OK. Just curious about the kind of stuff that induces men to fight. It’s all very mysterious.
Loud mouth drunks bullying and intimidating has been the cause of most of my scraps. Especially, likely when a guy has lots of his friends with him, so he thinks you’ll back down.
– Some guy grabbing my friend’s fiancee’s ass and then making a nasty comment to her when she told him to stop.
– A drunk calling my female coworker/friend a cunt and tryng to physically intimidate her.
– An asshole yelling to every girl around him for 15 minutes that I was the biggest, fattest piece of shit he had ever seen. Less talkative after I grabbed him by the throat, slammed his head against a truck a few times, and punched him in the face until not_steve_in_hb pulled me off.
– Ace checking out some dude’s gf and getting sucker punched in the face leading to an outright brawl.
etc etc etc
>>OK. Just curious about the kind of stuff that induces men to fight.
Alcohol, testosterone, wanting to impress women, stupidity, overestimation of ones physical strength, overconfidence from a few karate lessons when you were 6 year old, some untested theories about ‘one who throws the first punch, wins’, ego…
The list is endless, really.
… someone took the last hamburger from the grill, being Scottish, admitting you’re a Republican in certain company, stupid Dungeon Master stabbed your 14th level cleric in the back with a stupid kobold, guy cuts in front of you in the line to see “Bridges of Madison County, arguments over the atomic weight of selenium …
Yep, endless.
OK! OK!
Sheesh.
… hunchbacks who keep spamming your threads, the filioque, douchebags who hog the X-Box 360, whether England’s greatest prime minister was Pitt the Elder or Lord Palmerson, dude takes up two parking spaces …
…arguments over the atomic weight of selenium …
Don’t even go there. I’m not afraid to go back to prison.
The real question is, what makes girls fight? Those bitches are ruthless.
. . . women.
78.6% percent of fights between men are instigated by women.
it’s mostly about cereal.
Cap’n Crunch CUTS UP THE INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT DOES NOTHING!!!
That’s why we have Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch you wuss!
Them’s fightin’ words…
Fine by me. *Sucker punches Sobek with a fist full o’ Crunch Berries*
How does your mouth feel now muthacruncher?
*beats Enas down with a box of Grape Nuts*
Nothing’s heavier than Grape Nuts, fool.
…always after me Lucky Charms.
muthacruncher….lol
You guys are crackin’ me up 🙂
Batman-
I am so proud of you for not being scared of the black man. In this week between the celebration of Dr King’s birthday and the begining of Black History Month I think this post most eloquently sums up his dream: someday, big fat white tourists won’t be scared of black people trying to deal drugs to them. And it is so good to see all of these familiar faces from the Innocent Bystanders expressing themselves! Watching you all try to talk tough is the most hilarious stuff I’ve read in weeks.
BTW, I’m not stalking you. This was one of the featured posts on wordpress and I checked it out because of the title. That it turned out to be you was simply gravy.
-WD
Men fight cause they like it. It feels good. It’s a release.
Man I just cannot wait to have experiences like this when I go to Israel in September…wait except they are all armed.
*throws powdered sugar and crumbs from bottom of box in Winston’s eyes*
Don’t make me break open a box of “Banana Nut Crunch” on your ass.
You let soggy Grapenuts dry and set up in a bowl, you might as well throw the bowl away. That crap is worse than barnacles.
*flips spoonful of Cream of Wheat at DinT for starting this funny crap*
RWS is going to need a cigarette:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20080124/us_time/theresurrectionofjohnmccain
Winston blasting somebody for talking tough is like Charles Nelson Riley making fun of somebody trying to act butch.
In fact, Winston wouldn’t know tough if it came up and desecrated his “art”
You’ll notice that no one has heard from Enas since I hit him with that box of Grape Nuts. Maybe that was a bit over the line.
Enas! Quick, before you die, eat a bowl of Count Chocula! Sure, you’ll be doomed to live the rest of eternity as a sugar-sucking vampire, but at least you can keep blogging.
What about King Vitamin?
Heh. No I’m fine Sobek. Now I’m gonna get medieval on your ass with a box of Rice Krispies. Get prepared to snap, crackle, and pop.
Remember sleeping over my friend’s house when I was a kid and discovering that other families actually bought all those different kid cereals.
My friend Jennifer opened the pantry door in the morning, and before us were a dozen or more multicolored boxes festooned with all manner of cartoon characters and filled with Variously Shaped Sugars of Many Wondrous Formulations. Think I had three different bowls of cereal that morning.
Pretty sure Mom had to slap me for one reason or another after I went back home.
[…] in a mutated form. For example, today when I was logging into my wordpress account there was an Innocent Bystanders post that drew my eye. I’ve discussed race with the Innocent Bystanders in the past, and in my opinion […]
^sigh. For a guy who cliams not to want to bother us, he sure as hell spends a lot of time over here. And then he distorts what Michael wrote and …..
Ah, hell. It makes my head hurt.
Eddie, in Winston’s opinion, everyone on this blob is a racist. And he says this with a straight face, even though Count Chocula is prominently featured in this thread. Go figure.
I honestly get the feeling he has severe problems and just can’t help himself with this site.
Also, he goes after this thread’s talk about fighting, yet his “comics” involve some disturbing references to beating up people.
See!?! The only cereal character of color mentioned here is a blood-sucking vampire!!! Read between the lines, you racists!
^But aren’t most vampires white?
HI!
Please tell me nobody clicked his link….a narcissistic gasbag if I ever saw one.
Not gonna click- but I assume he’s calling our host a racist, yes?
It bugged me though, that he thought I was probably intimidated by him just because he was a black guy alone with me at night on a dock in a foreign country. I guess what really bugged me is that he probably had good reason to feel that way.
Yeah, that Michael. What a hater.
Is there a reason why troll hasn’t been banned just for general poor reading comprehension?
Lauraw-
Please read comments #2 and #5 and get back to me about reading comprehension. I didn’t call Batman a racist.
Oh, and you are welcome to ban me anytime. That would be awesome considering that I never call you fine folks names or use cusswords. I would love it if you blocked my comments because they vex you so. It would enhance my narcissitic sense of self-importance immeasurably.
-WD
Most excellent. Anybody want to help the gasbag out?
Is there a reason why troll hasn’t been banned . . .
Well, for one thing I was immensely flattered when I went to his blog and found out that we’re a bunch of whippersnappers who didn’t experience the civil rights movement. I really don’t mind being called a racist if he’s willing to knock 30 years off my age. According to Winston, IB is a
Our morning flight to Miami got canceled, so now we’re sitting in the Belize City airport drinking Bloody Mary’s and waiting for a 4:40 flight. Oh well.
“…Innocent Bystanders post that drew my eye. I’ve discussed race with the Innocent Bystanders in the past, and in my opinion they invariably reveal themselves to be quite racist even as they protest their ’innocence’.”
I humbly apologize. He doesn’t say IBers are racist. They are *quite racist*. I don’t gots no reading comprehension either.
Indeed, Winston, I did not understand you to be calling me a racist on this thread. As in the past, however, some jokes fly over your head, like the reference to the South Park episode above. You also continue to lump us together indiscriminately for no apparent reason. Further quoting from your own site:
Can we get back to talking about fights?
*Dumps bowl of Froot loops over Winston’s head*
Michael, don’t come back! It’s bitter cold.
Or just keep drinking vodka. That will cover the shock.
Dood, stop pickin on Winston just because he’s right. He said “they invariably reveal themselves to be quite racist even as they protest their ’innocence’.”
As I’ve documented on my blog, you guys aren’t innocent at all! And you’re racist. Just look at this post:
“…I exchanged a few words with this little scruffy-looking black guy…”
Hello?!? Do i have to draw you a diagramm? That’s so racists and you need to stop seeing color.
Like this 1:
http://bystanderwatch.wordpress.com/2007/10/17/innocent-hypocrites/
*waves wildly–Hi, Cathy!*
One time, my brother was mad at me when I pushed him off the Nintendo we had. He was angry, went to the fridge, grabbed two eggs, and cracked them on my head while I was playing Contra. Not a smart move. We wound up out in the front yard, with me chasing him. He wound up kneeing me in the nuts. I had his head in the grass.
Now, he’s about 5″ and 50lbs bigger than me. And he doesn’t let me forget.
[…] by wahrheiter in Bystanders Suck. trackback The Bystanders are at it again, with their racism. Look at this: “I was just outside getting some air, smoking, looking at the boats, and I exchanged a few […]
I love Contra. Time was I could beat the whole game without losing a single life.
WD’s not worth the banning effort. He would wear it like a badge of honor ala Deb Frisch.
I just talked to Retired Geezer, he’s shipping me some stuff for the IBSBP and Pistol Match. Yaaaay!
*Dumps bowl of Froot loops over Winston’s head*
*picks up one of the fruit loops and eats it*
Hi back at ya, Patty Ann!
…and everybody else too.
This is the first time I have been on a computer in two weeks. I’m sitting at the other end of the little airport restaurant on an ancient desktop unit giggling my butt off reading this thread.
I’ve missed you folks!
How Winnie the Poop could interpret anything Michael said or has done as racist is beyond me.
Poor Michael has succumbed to smokin WINSTON’S, to avoid the Colonials… no Marlboros to be found.
I chuckle… Michael smokin Winstons!
^our Winston would probably be happy.
I’m not clicking either. Someone let me know if he blogrolls that wahrheiter prick. That’s the only thing I’m curious about.
Winston?
YAWN!
Wahrheiter is an uncouth boob. Winston is far too sophisticated and intelligent to blogroll him.
BTW, if we’re going to have cereal wars I will be wielding my Honey Smacks and as the name implies your collective asses will be grass and I will be the lawnmower…
@Sobek
“stupid Dungeon Master stabbed your 14th level cleric in the back with a stupid kobold”
dude, you had me @ DM 😀
Although everyone knows that Disraeli was the best PM ever – they’ve even named streets in Texas after him!!! Gladstone just got a bag.
I can’t believe that all of you overlooked Raisin Bran – those raisins make good projectiles!
BTW, if we’re going to have cereal wars
Shredded Wheat!
Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs!
I sense a crudely drawn and poorly conceived comic book series on the horizon.
Cracklin Oat Bran, beyotch.
*Flings Weetabix without milk or sugar*
Hah!
Tremble before the terrible might of:
Quisp and Quake
I’ve noticed that these Frosted Flakes are grrrrrrrreat for throwing in your enemy’s eyes to blind him.
And thanks, Charleen. I can’t believe no one gave me props for the Scottish thing.
I love Frosted Flakes, but they make my blood sugar spike. I always underestimate how much insulin I need.
You trying to kill me with diabetic ketoacidosis, Sobek?
“Racist comments” #2 and #5.
I get along with most black people one on one, but as a group i dont care for them much.
In other words, Amish doesn’t like their politics?
There is absolutely nothing racist about that. The fact that he can get along with them on a personal basis should tell you that. He just doesn’t go for the liberal politics.
As for Sobek’s comment:
Whites win again.
Word.
That’s called “humor”, Winston. Try it sometime.
Something tells me, that a white guy (like Winston) who obsesses about race, and sees racism at every turn, has some….issues with race himself.
I find it a bit perplexing that reading anything on this blog gives one the ability to portend to know the true nature of anyone else here.
*puts big lump of oatmeal in slingshot and takes aim for warthater’s avatar*
Okay fine, I’ll donate some Honey Nut Cheerios to the cause, but I’m keeping my Crispix for Puppychow.
I can’t believe no one gave me props for the Scottish thing.
Sobek, you and the others had me glar-ing this morning. It was all good.
Something tells me, that a white guy (like Winston) who obsesses about race, and sees racism at every turn, has some….issues with race himself.
NiceDeb — I think you nailed it honey!
Sorry nicedeb, but anything with oats pretty much turns me into a human rootbeer dispenser.
*takes bow*
Oh man! The bow was for Cathy’s comment….
*eats a bowl of Cheerios . . . takes bow*
If I, as a brown person, have a problem with the political activities of the black community in general, does this make me racist?
Which is a moot question, really. Because in reality everyone is racialist; and the most racist people are racial minorities, including blacks and browns. Come and hear my relatives talk about blacks and Hispanics and you’ll see how this is true.
Which makes me sad because we can get away with such rank racism while you whites are constantly bludgeoned with guilt.
*Flings Kashi cereal bars, hard as bricks*
(It helps us that we spew forth our racism in, like, Urdu which outsiders don’t understand. Reminds me of an Indian movie when an Englishwoman stops by an Indian family’s house to say hello, and the woman of the house is insulting her in Hindi in a very nice and polite almost complimentary tone, which the Englishwoman takes to be praise. Hah!)
“You trying to kill me with diabetic ketoacidosis, Sobek?”
Yes, I’m trying to kill you with diabetic keo …. ketocid …
Yes, I’m trying to kill you.
And I didn’t realize until NiceDeb’s comment #88 that one of the comments that offended Winston was my own. The one in which I quote someone else. You ever watch South Park, Winston?
“It helps us that we spew forth our racism in, like, Urdu which outsiders don’t understand.”
See, that’s why I don’t trust brown people, what with your made up languages and all.
Come and hear my relatives talk about blacks and Hispanics and you’ll see how this is true.
Visiting with one of my minority friend’s families, I was startled at how bigoted they were; in this particular instance, toward the Vietnamese. They were quick to take affront at any offenses directed toward themselves, but they called the Vietnamese “gooks” and worse.
My friends and I also experienced many occasions where ethnic parents (Asians and Greeks) wouldn’t let their daughters date outside their ethnicity. Dammit.
You ever watch South Park, Winston?
He has a track record of missing all the jokes and references, and then carefully analyzing all our statements at face value. Beyond being a liar and routinely misreading/misinterpreting what people have said, he has no situational awareness.
In other words, he’s extremely dense?
Compos, I think you scared that Wahrheiter turd away.
blocked my comments because they vex you so
ninja, please. vex? You’re not even interesting.
Well, it is interesting that the person who found other’s comments so vexing on his blog deleted them, and then throws down that gaunlet.
Did I say gaunlet? I meant doily.
Yeah Sobek. You ever heard of a Spitting Cobra? Well I’m like a Shitting Cobra. It’s my superpower. Only I can’t wear a cape.
GLAR compos
I thought Wahrheiter was doofing on Winston?
I just skimmed through this but to whoever it was that linked here saying youre all racists – Im not associated with IB. Not a blogger. i dont post anything here. Nobody elses said anything remotely racist.
Except me. I dont like black people. Im racist. I also dont like the Irish and i really really hate ‘native’ americans.
As a mater of fact i pretty much hate everybody. Some people i just hate a little bit less.
Now im off to watch some movies.
Racist movies.
Oh great…right after I defended him!
There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.
Cereal Wars?!?!?
Did I miss it?
*flings a bucket full of processed Grainola Crunch at everybody*
Did someone say Granola???
Count me in.
Go McCain!
I can’t help it if I am White.
I called my Dr to see if I could get an operation to change me into a middle-age Nepalese Sherpa, but alas there isn’t one.
So, I will be White until I die.
I’ve watched South Park religiously since it came on. As I remember when we arguing about how you folks speak about the disabled I praised South Park in particular for it’s depiction of disabled characters as being one of the best I’ve ever seen on TV. I also fully understand the idea of using jokes as shorthand to make a point. That being said, one of their funnier jokes depicting the Klan involved chanting ‘white power’ over and over again. However, taken out of context, simply chanting ‘white power’ in any other situatuion really isn’t going to be funny and the person doing it shouldn’t expect other people to get their joke. As a comedian, I have found that jokes work much better when I don’t assume the audience is privy to all of my inner thoughts and desires. For example, Geoff, I don’t actually believe that you consciously regard yourself as a racist, but the essay you offered to me as proof of your enlightened viewpoint was rather ignorant-true, you were decrying the racist parties held on college campuses, but you came to the conclusion that they were being caused by people who say that racism is bad. I tore you a new one for it and you accused me of misquoting and distorting you which is really hilarious as I quoted verbatim two paragraphs from the essay and let them speak for themselves. I can’t read your mind and can only deal with the words you have written as I have never met you and don’t know anything about you other than what is written here. As I have said before, if you don’t like how you’re being quoted consider your words more carefully before you press ‘publish’. That being said, here’s what poster #2 said in this thread-
‘2. amish wishes you a happy mlk day – January 23, 2008
‘Scared? No…i’m Batman.’
I get along with most black people one on one, but as a group i dont care for them much.
White men have become guilt ridden sissies. I think thats why so many white boys try to act black. Because they know they shouldnt be the pussies that they are taught to be today, and black dudes act like they still have a pair. I think most of those ‘gangsta’ type black guys are pussys too though. its just a stupid act. If white people were as mean and racist today as all those black people claim we are they would drop that attitude pretty quick.
Race War!!!’
That doesn’t sound to me like someone who has a problem with ‘liberal politics’, Deb. Could you show me where he is talking about the politics of African-Americans? I’m so darn literal and incapable of abstract thought that I just can’t find it there. It seems to me that he’s quite insincere with his ‘happy MLK day’ and that is supposed to be a real knee-slapper because it’s ironic, right? What is it about MLK day that’s so funny? I simply don’t get that joke. Perhaps you could explain to me why that’s so hilarious. Now, I’ve heard people make statements like ‘I get along with most black people one on one, but as a group i dont care for them much.’ before, and every one of them was a racist. One of them was an actual neo-Nazi. So perhaps I’m being insensitive to Amish by not giving him the benefit of the doubt and interpreting what he said into ‘I think many African-American leaders are race hustlers who are only seeking to enrich themselves’ or some similar reasonable statement. I suppose what I’m getting at here is that if you are going to make public statements on race you should consider them carefully and be prepared to defend them-anything else is just being an irresponsible bombthrower and should expect to be called out on them. Regarding what Sobek said, I am familiar enough with his writing to know that he is an irresponsible bombthrower who has no interest in defending his more outrageous statements. I realize he thinks he’s hilarious, but again, it’s a matter of context. If he and I were sitting around over a beer I imagine I would laugh at his jokes as loudly as anyone else, but what he has apparently not learned about the internet is that we cannot hear his tone, see his face, or in any other way measure him by anything other than what he says. Therefore, when he says things like ‘See, that’s why I don’t trust brown people, what with your made up languages and all.’ I don’t bother taking the bait. He’s either lamely trying to be funny or he’s so far gone he’s not even worth bothering responding to. Actually, he’s not worth responding to in either case, but I seem to be doing that here anyway, so I suppose he wins in a way.
Michael, aren’t you a little old to be dressing up like Batman? I don’t think you’re racist and I actually found the original post to make an interesting observation that nobody else here really tried to address, and that is the fear reaction whites often have to blacks. Also, you have to forgive me for assuming that most of you were in your twenties-most of the grownups I know don’t brag about acting tough in convienence store parking lots.
I know many of you are going to complain about how long this post is. I’m sorry to make you read so much. I know how tired your lips must be.
-WD
cliff notes?
I ain’t reading all that shit.
Dave in Texas-
I don’t understand what you’re referring to. I haven’t deleted any comments. You’re welcome to say what you like over there.
Ah, I just saw the Amish history X post (#109). Well, I guess that kind of confirms that I’m not completely insane. Would any of his apologists like to say anything?
WD
Mr. Minority
There’s nothing wrong with being white. Just like there’s nothing wrong with being black. It’s all part of being human.
Bart-
I know. So many words. I’m sorry to vex you so. Was this short enough to read?
-WD
I’m not an Amish apologist, he can defend himself. At least he better.
*heaves a bowl of Mueslix at Amish*
Youre right – im racist – you solved another one Matlock. 😉
They are not my apologists. Nice Deb was just giving me the benefit of the doubt.
This is not my blog. I just post some comments here. Just like you do. These people dont give a shit what you think. I dont give a shit what you think. Youre just wasting your time.
WD,
Why are you taking this shit so seriously?
If you read all the comments on this site, you will find that >95% are sarcasm, ironic, funny and totally not serious.
As far as racism is concerned, it is wrong, but you will have a hard time changing peoples attitudes. It can be done, but very few that have racist attitudes are apt to change them.
I was lucky in that my Father taught me at a young aged to judge a person based on their actions & words, not their race. And that lesson has stuck, whichI have past it on to my sons.
As I have always said: Assholes are Assholes, it doesn’t matter if they are Black, White, Brown, Asian or whatever. and all races have their Assholes.
If he and I were sitting around over a beer I imagine I would laugh at his jokes as loudly as anyone else, but what he has apparently not learned about the internet is that we cannot hear his tone, see his face, or in any other way measure him by anything other than what he says
Does he not realize everyone here is sitting around drinking beers? Or am I the only one drinking?
The audience does know this is all jokes because the audience is the commenters on this blog and they’re all familiar with each other. How can you not get that by now? How do you not understand they are not commenting to entertain you?
If I do have a prejudices, it is against dogs.
Sorry Pupster.
*heaves bowl of Gravy Train at Mr. M*
winstondelgado wrote: “As a comedian, I have found that jokes work much better when I don’t assume the audience is privy to all of my inner thoughts and desires.”
FECAL PARTICLE DENSITY ACTION ALERT!!! REMAIN IN YOUR HOMES!!11!!11
Hey Winston, you clearly do not understand Amish. Irreverent humor is…what he does. And he does it very well, actually. He’s a curmudgeonly, dirty minded perv, but not a racist.
I am getting a weird vibe from you since you keep obsessing about race.
A white guy that spends his time trolling blogs, making accusations of racism where it doesn’t exist….that’s freaky-deaky.
Does he not realize everyone here is sitting around drinking beers? Or am I the only one drinking?
I just finished a package of pop rocks —-YUMMY!
God, I’m sorry, this is so funny I think I feel another cartoon coming on. I mean, for the dude to come back and go ‘yeah, he’s right, I’m a racist’ (TWICE!) after you were apologizing for him is just hilarious. I told you I smelled racism, you said I was a ninny, and dude comes back and says, ‘nope, he’s right. I’m a racist.’ And Pajama Momma, you are completely wrong, this is the highest form of entertainment for me. I am so entertained right now that a pack of monkeys on unicycles would seem boring to me. Please do carry on, y’all. Please explain to me how I misread Amish. Heh.
-WD
Knock it off Amish!
I am so entertained right now that a pack of monkeys on unicycles would seem boring to me.
You know why the ‘monkeys’ are stuck riding unicycles? cause THE MAN wouldnt let ’em have two wheels.
OMG! That was so racist, I’m crying!
you accused me of misquoting and distorting you which is really hilarious as I quoted verbatim two paragraphs from the essay and let them speak for themselves.
I never accused you of misquoting me – I said you misinterpreted what I said. You then said that you had quoted me verbatim. That was true, but it didn’t change the fact that you were apparently incapable of comprehending the quoted material. Hence your misguided interpretation, e.g., “…but you came to the conclusion that they were being caused by people who say that racism is bad.”
You see, that’s the beauty of language – words often have reasonably specific meanings. I said one thing, then you rebutted something quite different and declared victory for yourself. I let it go that time because it wasn’t worth prolonging the conversation with you, but since you’re crowing about it here, I think I’ll let everybody enjoy the spectacle you’re making of yourself.
That was the 3rd or 4th time you made that sort of misreading error before you started again today: I thought this repeated tactic was deliberate evasion at first, but that was apparently giving you far too much credit.
If he and I were sitting around over a beer I imagine I would laugh at his jokes as loudly as anyone else,
… and this is another instance of that complete lack of situational awareness. Where does he think he is? A political blog?
And Pajama Momma, you are completely wrong, this is the highest form of entertainment for me.
Well that’s obvious.
But I’m not wrong. I said they were not commenting to entertain you.
I love pop rocks NiceDeb. I must confess. I’m actually not drinking. I comment like I drink a lot. I’d hate for the audience to misread that and think I’m a drunk.
FYWNQ
Amish is an irascible, sarcastic, scathing, crude, hilarious sonofabitch.
!!!! KISSES !!!!
just watched Kentucky Fried Movie. It wasnt very good. Not even in the same league as the other Zucker movies.
Geoff (n’pals), you can’t talk about politics and then back away when you feel yourself losing and say ‘this isn’t about politics’. It seems that you guys keep trying to assert that this is some sort of a private forum that has special rules that allow you some sort of leeway that nobody else enjoys, but that’s a load of bull$hit. You certainly enjoy counting your hits and links but lose your mind when anyone points out that thoughtlessly blathering in public about very serious issues is grossly irresponsible. You may be in your pajamas but you are talking in public where everyone can hear you and we can talk back. It’s unreasonable to expect that you can say whatever you want without challenge or argument. That being said, could you please explain to me how I misrepresented you? What is it about my paraphrase of your argument that so tweaked you? You’ve accused me of misrepresenting you, but I don’t see how I did.
Nicedeb-I see that you’ve been reading along but you haven’t responded to me. Do you have anything to say further defending the comments Amish made, or do you disavow him?
-WD
I can’t believe Cuffy isn’t here. I expect this sort of stupidity from him.
Amish:comic
Winston:comical
Up next on the movie list:
Devil in a Blue Dress. Hopefully Denzel wont black it up too much.
And then:
Hitchcocks Strangers on a Train. It’s in black and (more importantly) WHITE. God knows im not watching the colorized version of it…
I hope Sobek grows up to be a responsible bombthrower some day.
Has Amish used “Amish Lime Me” yet?
That’s a funny one.
Amish Like Me
Like Like Like
shit!
You’ve accused me of misrepresenting you, but I don’t see how I did.
…and that’s the frustrating part. It’s like pouring gasoline on a fire with you. The more we explain the farther afield you go.
Sorry WG – I don’t really care what you think. I only made the point for everybody else’s entertainment. If they want more clarification, I’ll be happy to provide it, but you’re not worth it.
That’s it for me on this thread. I’ll see y’all on some Winstonless thread somewhere.
Bart, I liked it better when you wanted Amish to be green.
*opens Corona*
Hey Amish, Lime me.
Up thread i said that i hate the Irish too. Its true. I suppose its because im British.
Bart, I liked it better when you wanted Amish to be green.
“Green” as in the color green?
Or “Green” as in sucking Al Gore’s left testicle and buying a Prius green?
Amish can’t be racist you MORON, because he hates everybody!
“…so I suppose he wins in a way.”
Told you. Whites win again.
“… and this is another instance of that complete lack of situational awareness.”
True. I first said “whites win again” in the comment immediately following a link to the South Park episode from which I was quoting. So even if a casual observer wasn’t generally aware of my attitudes about things, said casual observer could have, at a minimum, clicked the link and thought, “oh, he’s quoting something.” Again, that’s what a casual observer might do. But someone who claims general familiarity with what I write is on far more notice.
As to the comment about Urdu being a made-up language, I suppose I could comment that I have a passion for languages, that I am very familiar with central asian languages, and that I could communicate with far more brown people than Winston ever could. Instead, I will just say this: Winston, you misunderstood. I know that Urdu is a real language, spoken by my good friend (and bona fide brown person) Muslihoon. I’m glad that I feel comfortable enough with Muslihoon to make brown people jokes with him. Muslihoon understood the joke. If you did not, well, now you do. You don’t have to think it’s funny, but as of this comment, at least, you can’t pretend that you don’t know it was a joke. If you insist on believing that the statement was evidence of racism (although, let’s be honest, even if I were ignorant of the existence of a language, I fail to see how that would be racist), then you do so contrary to all reason and evidence.
I know why the caged Amish sings
Narrative of the life of Frederick Amish
Their eyes were watching Amish
The color Amish
Uncle Amish’s Cabin
Don’t forget we hate Scandi’s and filthy, stinkin’ spudders!
If you claim not to see color, you’re either a dog or a liar. We may not judge based upon it, but we still see it. I like ’em all. Give me a human variety pack.
Speaking of which, when I was a kid, I loved when my grandmother would buy me one of those Kellog’s variety packs, the ones with the little boxes of cereal. *hits Mr. M in the bean with a full box of Corn Pops.*
^
Although I didn’t really care for the Cocoa flavoured cereals. Is that racist?
Is that racist?
I’m guessing….”YES”.
I know why the caged Amish sings
Narrative of the life of Frederick Amish
Their eyes were watching Amish
The color Amish
Uncle Amish’s Cabin
damnit man youre gonna use up all the good names!
Ive got movies to watch so i havent got time to keep up with this thread. Night everybody.
http://img297.imageshack.us/my.php?image=989u8sf9.jpg
Oh that was funny.
Meet Joe Amish
So, to sum up, Geoff has run off crying ‘I could argue with you but I won’t’, Sobek is suddenly serious, and Nice Deb is putting her fingers in her ears and singing ‘la la la I can’t hear you’. Nice. Very entertaining. Like I said, I came here for the title of the post, but the rest of this has been just gravy.
You guys are so money. But I still miss picking on Cuffy.
-WD
’88. nicedeb – January 24, 2008
“Racist comments” #2 and #5.
I get along with most black people one on one, but as a group i dont care for them much.
In other words, Amish doesn’t like their politics?
There is absolutely nothing racist about that. The fact that he can get along with them on a personal basis should tell you that. He just doesn’t go for the liberal politics.
As for Sobek’s comment:
Whites win again.
Word.
That’s called “humor”, Winston. Try it sometime.
Something tells me, that a white guy (like Winston) who obsesses about race, and sees racism at every turn, has some….issues with race himself.’
‘109. amish history x – January 24, 2008
I just skimmed through this but to whoever it was that linked here saying youre all racists – Im not associated with IB. Not a blogger. i dont post anything here. Nobody elses said anything remotely racist.
Except me. I dont like black people. Im racist.’
Deb-
All I’m hearing is crickets chirping and lame smartassery. You got anything to say for yourself?
-WD
Nobody knows the Amish I seen
Swing lo, sweet Amish
(am I screwing up these lyrics?)
My God, Amish, you’re killing me. Humans shouldn’t be allowed to laugh this loud in the cubicle farm!!!!!
Sobek, I love your kids, they’re gorgeous! I haven’t had time to comment on your lovely blog, b/c I’ve spent all day reading the comments here, but never fear! I’ll be there 🙂
Michael – I don’t know if anyone’s mentioned this while hurling accusations and defenses around, but I hope that you have a wonderful time in Belize!
WD,
See #121, you are an Asshole, I don’t care what race you are, you are an Asshole.
*pisses in Compi’s Wheaties*
I know being reasonable is useless, but I’ll give it one final try.
WD, you said we were talking in public. Yes. This commenting site is comparable to a bunch of pals getting together in a bar for a chat. Would anyone say that’s not a public situation? No. Is it typical for other people in the bar to eavesdrop on the conversation and jump around flinging poo if it isn’t to their liking? No.
Anyway, I think we should watch Guess Who’s Coming to Amish.
And charleen, you are the person next to us in the bar who scoots over to join our silly conversation. Hi!
So Charleen, you like the admitted racist and think he’s hilarious, and Mrs Peel would stick up for her racist friend if he was shouting racist eptithets in a bar. And Mr. Minority thinks I’m an asshole because I call out racists when I see them. Nice. So innocent. Such bystanders. You’re not racists but you just like them a lot.
-WD
Nicedeb? You got anything for me?
-WD
“Sobek, I love your kids, they’re gorgeous!”
Thanks, I’m a big fan, too.
“I haven’t had time to comment on your lovely blog…”
That’s okay, I haven’t had time to blog there. I don’t know if you noticed dates on the last few posts.
And Mr. Minority thinks I’m an asshole because I call out racists when I see them.
No, I think you are an ASSHOLE because you like to come onto this site, and pick a fight over the most innocuous things.
This site is for us and those that think like us (and I don’t mean racists or bigots or whatever you may imagine we are either, you ASSHOLE). People are welcome to join in on the fun, but you show up, being an ASSHOLE, and try to throw a dampener on the fun.
So let me spell it out for you in terms you can understand – FUCK OFF ASSHOLE!
And if you are a comedian, you must be the worst one around. Amish has more comic talent in the piss that drips of his little pecker than you do.
ASSHOLE!
I already answered you, ya goofball!
He’s yanking your chain! And everybody can see it but you.
To All (other than the ASSHOLE)
I am sorry if I went over the top, but I have a low tolerance to sanctimonious ASSHOLES.
And if that makes me a bigot against sanctimonious ASSHOLES, then so be it.
That and dogs (Sorry again Pupster).
I’m gonna Apple Jack somebody’s shit up.
Mr. M and Nice Deb,
You are wasting your pixels and risking a WD infection on your own sites.
Here…have some Chex cereal.
*bonk*
Mr. M, obviously you have never seen an Australian shepherd puppy. They’re more adorable than you can possibly imagine. And their shit doesn’t have parasites that leap into your brain and control you.
To Amish, With Love
I’m Gonna Git U, Amish
In the Amish of the Night
AMISH!
He’s a bad mutha…shut yo mouth!
Mr. M, obviously you have never seen an Australian shepherd puppy.
Mrs. Peel, I am joking about dogs, just to needle Pupster.
The best dog I ever had was a Tri-colored Shelty. And I do like Australian Shepherds, smart dogs, both of them.
Don’t Be a Amish to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
Gin ‘n’ Amish.
I Got 99 Problems, but an Amish Ain’t One.
I like big Amish and I cannot lie.
MC Amish in da hooooouuuuuuuussssssse!
Who Let the Amish Out?
Whoof, Whoof
Got my mind on my Amish and my Amish on my mind.
Mr. Minority-‘pick a fight over the most innocuous things.’
I would agree with you that over here racism is quite innocuous. But then, a white guy who calls himself ‘Mr Minority’ and endlessly blathers about his whiteness wouldn’t know anything about innocuous racism, would he?
Deb, if the best you can do is that he’s yanking my chain, then thank you for playing. I think it’s gone a little far for that now. There’s no way he can really back out and say he’s just joking now. He’s made several unfunny flat out racist statements that really couldn’t be construed any other way. Your continued defense of him really doesn’t speak well for your innocence as a bystander.
Anyway, I see that you’re trying to bury the conversation in empty chatter like a cat covering a turd, and I certainly do empathize with your poo shame. It can’t be fun to have to eat all of those nasty words. I don’t think they tasted too good on the way out so I certainly don’t think they’re going to be appetizing on the way back in. (That’s a South Park reference for those of you who don’t get it.)
Thank you all so much for playing.
-WD
WD,
This is the last comment I will make to you.
You are under the assumption that we actually give a fuck what you think. That is so far from the truth.
Personally, my self esteem, opinions or attitudes towards other people are not based on what you think of me. I don’t care what you think.
If you think I am a racist, I don’t care.
I only care about the opinions of people I respect, and you ain’t one ASSHOLE.
So bugger off and let us continue having our fun without your self righteous whining about us.
Fucking ASSHOLE.
like a cat covering a turd
Guess who the turd is winnie?
Does anyone know where I can get some Boo Berry Crunch?
I think it’s time to tell retard jokes.
Hey Mr. M, I knew you were messing with Pupster. I was just messing with you as well. I have exactly two strong opinions on cats vs. dogs: (1) Pepper, my dog, is awesome and (2) I don’t like allergies.
I think it’s time to tell retard jokes.
But weren’t we going to stop talking about Winston?
Michael, aren’t you a little old to be dressing up like Batman?
Maybe so, but why do you still dress like Tinkerbell?
“I think I feel another cartoon coming on”
You know something Winnie? They have medication for that now. Check into it.
Mr. Minority.
I can tell you don’t care. You don’t care so much THAT YOU ARE SHOUTING PROFANITIES IN CAPITAL LETTERS. You are the very picture of blase disinterest. You are an eminently rational and logical human being.
Heh. Sarcasticus likes you.
And I’ll explain to the rest of you what I explained to Cuffy: when you make ‘retard’ jokes it doesn’t hurt my feelings at all but it certainly doesn’t make you look too cool.
Carry on.
-WD
Sarcasticus likes you.
Damn, I was hoping Douchebaggery would want to bone me instead.
That’s Mr. Lipstick’s favorite game, Ed.
Tinkerbell: Peter! Won’t you come exploring with me?
Peter Pan: But Tink, that cave is far too small for me to get into, you’ll have to explore it by yourself.
Tinkerbell: Like this?
Peter Pan: YES. DEAR SWEET GOD. LIKE THAT. I stand corrected, Tink….I believe I can just barely fit…
I didn’t know until recently that Tinkerbell had another fairy friend named Rosetta:
http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&q=tinkerbell%2Brosetta&um=1&ie=UTF-8
And as for Mrs. EB and I,….
ahhh who am I kidding? It’s tough to have any excitement when a toddler seems to know exactly the “right” time to get out of her bed and bang on the not normally locked door and cry that she needs to use her training potty (and why couldn’t she want to use it at the other times of the day?)
But I digress. Maybe that’s why I have been so angry recently.
clap your hands if you believe in winston.
Hi tink!
*clap* *clap*
That’s Mr. Lipstick’s favorite game, Ed.
Huh? Me no get the joke. Me stupid tonight.
Aw, I messed it up. I guess I thought he was responding to LD, but he was responding to somebody else’s comment…look, I’m just pooped. Is it Friday yet?
Almost, lauraw.
I am sort-of starting to look at houses…it’s a buyer’s market at the moment (*cackles maniacally*), and I have a ridiculous amount of cash socked away, so now’s a fairly good time. The main requirement is that it must have at least one room with a ceiling high enough for my bookshelf (9 feet).
There are no ceilings in Winston Land.
You can reach the stars.
And they will love you so.
of course, I have to buy a new pair of hearing aids week after next, and that will run me about $5200-5400, so…(no, insurance doesn’t cover it. Fortunately, I did get a flex account, so the bulk of the money is pre-tax. Even so, f’n ouch. I should talk to my supervisor and see if I can work some overtime/holiday time.)
Well, time for bed. I have to go to work early tomorrow.
Winston,
I am another brown guy on this blog. Just a commenter, but I know all these people for ages, and they know me. Believe me, as a brown person, I have a better racism detector than you. If I had a feeling that anyone here (including Amish) is racist, I would probably not hang out here. You are detecting racism here, because you are desperate to find it.
I had the misfortune of clicking on your blog before realizing what a turd you are. It seems you are another of those fools who equates Republicans/Conservatives with racists. I have never experienced racism from Conservative Americans, but experienced a lot of hostility from Democrats/Liberals who found out that I am a Conservative.
This blog is a medium for some fun-loving people to hang around and make fun of each other. You are not welcome to poke your nose here. Kiss my hairy brown ass, you douche. Kiss it way up, where it is even more brown.
Lipstick:
I was mocking Winnie. Sorry for the confusion.
We really have to find a way to capture this Winston dude’s essential characteristic – the ability to instantly suck all oxygen out of the room. Think of the amazing firefighting potential. Maybe some kind of foam manufactured from his dead, my eyes glaze over, prose.
Ms. Peel,
I’ve been looking at houses in the Phoenix area for about 8 months now. I just now finally found one that met (most of) my criteria. The bursting housing bubble hit really hard around here.
Everybody talks about how there are all these great deals to be had out there, but I’ll tell you, there is a whole lotta shit out there right now. People in short-sale and foreclosure situtations (a large percentage of the market right now) absolutely trash their homes. I looked at a house selling for close to 200k that should be the set for Saw 5. Then the bank turns around and dumps these things on the market “as-is” for list prices they have no intention of actually selling at. Everybody is so far upside-down on these homes nobody knows what to do.
LW, EB, now I see what happened. I was just confused.
Maybe Mr. Lipstick and I will play Peter Pan and Tinkerbell later. . . And yes, I’LL be Tinkerbell. (I know you guys too well — had to head that one off.)
Steve in HB, how have you been? Haven’t seen you around lately.
That’s a great story. I don’t think “scruffy-looking black guy” is racially pejorative, if he happened to be particularly scruffy-looking.
Dad, hope you had a good trip. call when you are home. Love you.
Tushar, how are the babies doing? Did you ever share a picture of them?
Lipstick –
Been doing very well. Working my ass off subverting the US anti-gambling laws and getting paid. Sounds stupid, but I’ve been working 12 hour days for pretty much 4 months without taking a day off except Xmas. No rest for wicked.
You guys seem to have grown to the point that you’ve attracted your own asshole satellite(s?).
Winston, you’re a comedian? Did you land that position as part of some affirmative action plan, you fucking nagger.
Hey Tushar, how are your twins doing? And the missus?
Tushar D-
Your racism detector sucks. You choose to hear what you want to hear. How do you think these fine folks would talk to you if you disagreed with them politically? Right now they’ve resorted to calling me a fairy, which, as we all know is the absolute pinnacle of commentary. Of course, you have invited me to give you a rimjob which is an awfully personal request to make upon introducing yourself to someone so I’ll assume that is the custom of your people and politely correct you to know that here in America that is considered very rude behavior. Perhaps this is why you have encountered so much hostility in your encounters with liberals. We generally do not appreciate such advances, especially from people we just met. However, I know that there are many conservative who enjoy engaging in these sorts of acts with virtual strangers (some they just met in an airport bathroom, for example). Perhaps that is why you have found such a warm reception here.
Regards,
WD
[…] My racism detector sucks so bad… How bad does it suck? If you read nothing else, check out comments #205-215. If you want to know how bad Tushar D’s … […]
People in short-sale and foreclosure situtations (a large percentage of the market right now) absolutely trash their homes.
I spent a couple of weekends last summer going to open houses (300k range) so i could check out what the builders were doing and even though the homes were only a few years old the two foreclosure homes i saw looked like shit. Holes in the wall, bare outlets, ruined carpets, trashed furniture and even some masonry damage. Not to mention all the little things like missing light covers and intake screens and bent doorstops. I actually felt sorry for the women who were showing them because they spent most of their time apologizing for the condition of the houses.
Of course, you have invited me to give you a rimjob which is an awfully personal request to make upon introducing yourself to someone so I’ll assume that is the custom of your people and politely correct you to know that here in America that is considered very rude behavior.
Dude:
First of all, Tush was joking.
Secondly, nice to see that while attacking conservatives for racism, you blast his heritage and play Mr. Nativist. Well played, sir. Well played.
I would generally give a person the benefit of the doubt and assume you were being sarcastic, but you are so dense and full of yourself, you have forfeited said privileges.
However, I know that there are many conservative [sic] who enjoy engaging in these sorts of acts with virtual strangers (some they just met in an airport bathroom, for example). Perhaps that is why you have found such a warm reception here.
Hey! What happens at the IBSBP stays at the IBSBP!
Sorry, in post 215 please correct ‘conservative’ to read ‘conservatives’. I certainly intended to use the plural. I was just distracted because all of the waif children I have aducted keep tugging at my shirt to be fed no matter how often I kick them away and I made a terrible typographical error. I know what sticklers you all are for precision and I apologize deeply and sincerely for this mistake.
In humble supplication for your forgiveness,
Winston Delgado
Ah, I just saw the Amish history X post (#109). Well, I guess that kind of confirms that I’m not completely insane. Would any of his apologists like to say anything?
FYI, Winston, aside from claiming to be racist, Amish has also told us with a straight face that he has an extensive collection of glass bottles containing his own urine.
I believe your claim to be a comedian. I think you are hilarious. (But not as funny as Amish.)
Thanks, Charleen. We had a great time.
*runs in and waves to everybody*
Hi everybody did you miss me?
*looks around*
*backs slowly out of the room*
BTW, I have a couple of bottles of Amish’s urine.
Just sayin’
Amish is crazy. Everybody knows you are supposed to use your first urine of the morning to wash your paper money so the government can’t track you.
NO! You don’t use the first urine, that stuff is DELICIOUS.
Do you people ever bother to read directions, or what?
>> so I’ll assume that is the custom of your people and politely correct you to know that here in America that is considered very rude behavior. Perhaps this is why you have encountered so much hostility in your encounters with liberals.
Wow! And you call others racist?
Proves my point. Show a Liberal a non-white guy who is Conservative, and the hostility, racial/cultural insults bubble up.
Yo! PattyAnn, Cranky,
the wife and the rugrats are doing great. I want to send you all photos, but not in a public forum accessible to people like Winston.
Or maybe I will send it to the guy who hosts all our mugs. Hopefully that place is a bit more obscure.
I don’t know about YOU, lauraw, but the first urine is the one with the blood in it, and *I* am not a brown vampire like Count Chocula. Some of us need to drink cranberry juice for a while before our excretions are palatable.
Hmmph!
steve and Tush, glad you guys (and associated rugrats) are doing well. I, for one, have missed you. Now all we need is WP and Tattooed Intellectual and we’ll have a party going!
WD’s offensive remark to Tushar reminds me strongly of the time that turd Larry the Urbanite “helpfully” informed him that if he wanted to date our daughters, we would be a lot less nice to him. Are these guys tools, or what?
if he wanted to date our daughters, we would be a lot less nice to him.
Well, yeah, the guy is married with children!
Mrs. Peel, don’t forget that in addition to peoples of various non-strictly-peach-colored visage, conservatives also don’t respect women, and that you are naught but a talking pet for them, who they like to keep around their sites only to make them appear inclusive.
It’s too bad your silly female mind doesn’t grasp how you’re being used as a mascot by those who would enslave you.
Liberals will tell you; they are the way and the light for us weak-minded women. It’s so wrong for women to be conservative. Against our own self-interest. It’s like we’re just begging for social repression.
Don’t you know who your enemies are, Peel??
Oh, yes, that’s it, oppress me right there!
…Sorry, what were you saying?
“send it to the guy who hosts all our mugs”
Please do, Tushar–I’d love to see them.
Mrs, Peel the wickedpinto told me he’d be back February 17th! Don’t ask about the timing–it’ definitely a WP thing.
Laura, liberals generally amuse me, but if you ever lost your mind and became one, I’d be terrified 🙂 Also, send me your mailing address–I’m planning on snipping the vanilla early next week.
I laughed at a poor person this morning. It felt great.
I also shook hands with one of my co-workers, then while he was yammering on about something, I took out a bottle of hand disinfectant and rubbed it on my hands. It didn’t shut him up, but almost!
Oh, yes, that’s it, oppress me right there!
Alright, between that and the Peter Pan thing lw did, I’m going to need a cold shower. Behave! I’m backing up important databases and need to focus.
DinT, heard you guys are going to get some good weather this weekend. Windchill’s been -20 here past couple of days. I don’t mind. Mosquitos don’t like -20 wind chills.
Probably will miss us, Dallas area may get some.
distracted because all of the waif children I have aducted[sic]
Hey, whatever gets you going in the morning.
I like this new cheeky brand of Mrs. Peel we’ve been getting for the past few months.
-don’t get me wrong, I liked the other one too. Variety, spice of life, etc.
She is an enigma, wrapped in an oscilloscope.
shit, I just remembered I need to pack up some firearms… *digs around for pup’s address*
Ok, got it.
*rubs hands together expectantly*
RG and Skinbad have shipped their gift boxes to “Pupster’s Armory and Bait Shop”, anyone else besides Dave?
Lemme see if I got this figgered out…
Winston sees the IB post is at the top of the WordPress list. This enrages him because we are a bunch of losers and don’t deserve the adulation that his intelligent/clever/funny blog deserves.
He thinks “I know, I’ll go over and piss in their cornflakes, because everybody knows they are all about teh Cereal.
If I do that, someone might follow the link to MY blog. If 20 people do that, I could double my traffic for the month.”
Sad, really.
*rubs hands together expectantly*
Pupster calls travel agent for info on a trip to Belize.
Michael – I’m so glad to hear that you had fun! I’ve always loved Central America. Did you get to go diving? Hit the jaguar preserve? Forgive me if I’m wrong (its been a long time since I’ve been to CA) isn’t Belize where they found the large jade head (I want to say at Caracol)?
Mrs. Peel – Well, thank you! It’s so nice to be welcomed someplace new, and my seat at the bar was getting lonely. I just stopped in because of the shout-out on the WP page, and ended up in the middle of a flame war. Can you believe it?
Apparently, just being here tars me with Winston’s racism brush, despite my not saying anything that could even be remotely considered applicable to that moniker…and that makes me a little cranky. I hope y’all forgive me for what I say next…
Winston – In my mind – and this is just my personal opinion, as I do not know you, and have no wish to meet you – this makes you a generalist and a bigot, Winston. Bless your little heart, I hope that you’re happy; bigotry is a very lonely corner. Fortunately for you, folks who are that way, have a overdeveloped sense of self-importance, so you can always feel superior no matter what they say about you.
Although really – cat poo? Who willingly brings cat poo to a conversation?
Sobek – blog more!!! If my brother can harp on me, then I can pass on the nagging 😉
Oh! and how about Down and Amish in Beverly Hills? Bright Lights, Big Amish? it’s better than Winston’s 10 Things I Hate About Amish…
The Color Amish.
^ has already been mentioned. Twice. 😛
I don’t even know what you are doing with the Amish name thing, but I like the sound of “Mo’ Amish, Mo’ Problems”. Even though I know the reference probably doesn’t mean anything to you racist scum.
“I don’t know what they want from me, It’s like the more Amish we come across, the more problems we see”
Come along and ride on a fantastic Amish.
If he and I were sitting around over a beer I imagine I would laugh at his jokes as loudly as anyone else
Er, that beer would be yours only.
Sobek can speak for himself, I am sure, but I’m a little taken aback by how you totally mischaracterized Sobek. I know him well enough to know he was joking around. Indeed, I, a brown person, found his comment to be very amusing.
And for that matter, I love the banter that goes on around here. We know each other well enough to know our intentions. If someone does not want to spend the time to browse and get to know us, then their misunderstanding and mischaracterization are that person’s entire fault and do not in any way reflect this, er, commenters’-site.
Indeed, if Michael’s racist, why would invite me two separate times to go to his house for IBSBP?
You know, to be completely honest, this “racist!” garbage really gets me upset. In the eighteen years I have lived among and interacted with the peoples of The United States, not once–let me repeat that, not once–has any white person made me feel different because of my skin color. Indeed, the people who make me feel different are Hispanics. They blatantly treat me differently than how they treat other Hispanics.
In fact, despite the fact I have always lived in heavily white areas (and mostly Jewish areas at that, despite being brown and from a South Asian Muslim family), I have had to stop and realize that appearance-wise I am different from those around me. If I do not stop to realize, I’d never know there was anything different about me compared to the rest. No one ever treats me differently.
Some brown people are fond of complaining about the racism towards them after 9/11. Rubbish. Right after 9/11, I had white people–teachers, friends, classmates, store workers–in fact stop and ask me if everything is okay, if everyone’s treating me right, that I can talk to them if someone’s mean or rude or racist to me. Strangers even would say this! So, I suppose I was the beneficiary of positive or constructive racism.
Then and even now, I have yet to see this racism people shriek about.
And for that matter, I get quite unhappy when others become outraged for me. If I am insulted or mistreated, I can be outraged enough for myself, thankyouverymuch. I don’t need anyone’s empathy or sympathy or solidarity. Indeed, the assumption that I need someone’s participation or support in this regard is highly offensive. That I find immensely offensive.
No one ever treats me differently.
It’s not respect. It’s fear.
Indeed, if Michael’s racist, why would invite me two separate times to go to his house for IBSBP?
So everybody could see what one of you people looks like in real life.
I’ll have to tell my life-as-a-tourist-cue-ball in Kenya, Uganda, and Congo stories some time. After someone’s gone back to coloring.
>>It’s not respect. It’s fear.
boo!
Do tell, skinbad!
Michael is hoping you will teach him martial arts or magic or the meaning of life. The movies have taught us that you non-white sort are basically killing time waiting for a white guy to come along who you can mentor and teach.
*gazes in awe at Muslihoon and Tushar*
*tries not to think about hairy brown asses*
>>Michael is hoping you will teach him martial arts or magic or the meaning of life.
Steve,
that is the job of them slitty-eyed yellow colored Chinese folks. I can fix your computer though, or sell you a slushee. Do you know we have a ‘Buy a beef jerky, get a slushee free’ deal going on?
>>*tries not to think about hairy brown asses*
Skinbad, that reminds me of a Dilbert comic strip.
Dilbert comes home from work, annoyed as usual, and whines about his day.
Dogbert says, “Try not to think of yourself as a container for transporting bile from one meeting to the next”.
Dilbert ponders this and says, ‘hmm, I never had that thought before’.
Dogbert says, with indignation, “I told you not to!”
How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
^Somebody’s gettin’ tossed out of that trailer.
Close. Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.
“Michael is hoping you will teach him martial arts or magic or the meaning of life.”- Steve in HB
Actually, Michael is hoping you will offer to sell him some discount Marlboros instead of dope or blow.
Indeed, if Michael’s racist, why would invite me two separate times to go to his house for IBSBP?
I was hoping Tushar would teach us to dance like those guys in the Bollywood clips that we posted.
Musli was invited to cook up some curry for us — i.e., something more edible than Dave’s Afterburner Chili.
Charleen,
I check out your blogsite, clicked a link and found the title of “Matt’s El Rancho” (great food, nice place)
You don’t by chance live in the city with “Town Lake” in the middle of it do you?
Question for Tushar:
Are the crib midgets sleeping on a bed of nails yet?
And a more personal question: How do you and the wife have sex on those things?
Veerrry Carefully.
Tushar, I know I asked you this before, but I don’t remember the answer and I don’t remember which thread it was. What are your twins’ names?
Mr Minority, I liked the term ‘crib midgets’! Right now, they are making mom and dad wish they were sleeping on a bed of nails, as long as there is sleep involved.
Sobek, the boys are named Agastya and Atharvan.
The most ancient books of Hinduism are the four ‘Vedas’. Agastya was the sage who wrote the first Veda, called Rig Veda. Atharvan was the sage who wrote the fourth Veda, called Atharva Veda.
Agastya means the one who makes mountains bow before him. Atharvan means the one who worships and can control fire.
Cool names, huh?
The Camptown Ladies sing this song: A-Mish, A-Mish….
>>And a more personal question: How do you and the wife have sex on those things?
You never got curious where the ‘nailed that chick’ phrase came from?
Speaking of inscrutable foreigners, I just got a flyer in the mail for a Chinese restaurant.
“Wu’s Dragon Wang.”
No kidding.
I’ve been giggling for 20 minutes.
Only 20 minutes, huh? I guess that would leave you with plenty of time to get from the Monte Carlo to your house and post this convenient little alibi then, huh?
Heh, they’ll never be able to pin this on me.
(Hope they don’t find the crumpled, gasoline-soaked Wu’s Dragon Wang” flyer in the debris.)
crumpled, gasoline-soaked Wu’s Dragon Wang
That’s too hard to remember. I just ask for the #4 combo meal.
I hear Chinese Dragon Wangs are really small.
Yeah, and an hour after you’ve had one, you’re horny again.
Bwahahaha!!
You’re on fire today, Compos.
Crap.
Wu’s Dragon Wang
And then?…..
They forgot a word at the thing: Chung.
thing = end
And then?…..
Wu answered.
Chinese menus, the source of much amusement.
Why is that Indian guy giggling like a retard? and is he checking out my ass?
Run!!!
There’s a werewolf with a funny accent on the train!!!
There wolf.
Welcome Charleen.
I’m Michael’s wife, occasionally comment, but mostly lurk and laugh and the rest of the guys, gals, and goobers here.
Earlier you responded to a Winston comment, saying… Although really – cat poo? Who willingly brings cat poo to a conversation?
You got a chuckle outta me cause this is NOT the first time he has gotten into it with IB folks and bringing fecal matter into his conversation… That’s why I call him Winnie the Poop.
Hope you can pull up a chair and stay for another round at the bar, so to speak.
Is Michael a bigamist?
Amish, I’m confused, too. I thought See-Dubya was the redundantist.
Welcome Home, Michael & Cathy.
The place wasn’t the same without you.
Actually, it was the same because Michael never stopped commenting and being a budinsky in his vacation.
Okay, he wasn’t really being a budinski. I just like saying that word because I haven’t used it in a while.
>>I thought See-Dubya was the redundantist.
Yeah, I sometimes have giggle-chuckles at his redundundentations.
“redundundentations”
*I am so going to use/steal this word*
Thanks, Bart.
Michael was happy relaxing on the balcony, smoking, blogging to his hearts content.
I read 5 novels, got a great tan, and enjoyed pleasant conversation with nice folk we’ll probably never see again.
We ate great food and partied together at night.
Successful vacation.
I’ve been thinking about our Belize night club story this afternoon and realized that it reminded me of this. Hope y’all enjoy cause nobody leaves without singin da blues.
I got called up by the band leader to do some punta dancin…not bad for a white girl.
Dang, we had fun.
[…] your comments to the last post as they give me a prompt for debriefing my latest encounter with the Innocent Bystanders. I certainly have a better picture of who they are according to the logic of Seraph when he told […]
Well I’m like a Shitting Cobra. It’s my superpower. Only I can’t wear a cape.
That right there is some Funny Shit.
“Only I can’t wear a cape.”
Try washing in cold water with vinegar for those special brown stains.
^or Shout
This is a great thread. Funnay!
Brought back good memories of Belize too.
Yeesh. Did we really waste that much time with that guy?
It was a funny thread, though. Guess the oyster needs an irritant to create a pearl.
300!
Three hundred comments. What the hell has happened to us in the last year or so?
COUNT YOUR COMMENTS!