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Marriage is Cheap March 28, 2008

Posted by Michael in Economics.

The reason marriage is cheap is because, when you’re married, you don’t have to spend lot of money to impress the opposite sex.  Little, inexpensive gestures count.   Especially, you don’t have to spend a lot of money on cars.


Can’t seem to catch the attention of that certain someone? You may be driving him or her away before you even open your car door.

That’s because your ride says more about you than you might imagine.

A man pulling up to a ritzy restaurant in a two-seater Porsche 911 sends a signal that he is a determined, highly successful, middle-aged professional. The guy behind the wheel of an Audi RS4 sedan is confident, shopping on Rodeo Drive or making deals on Wall Street.

The point of the article is this: people buy cars like they buy shoes. It’s mostly an image statement, not just transportation. So, guys, do not buy a Volvo. That means you are a mother. Volvos are probably the least sexy car out there.

This cuts both ways:

Women aren’t exempt from scrutiny though. A female in a Lexus RX 350 sport utility vehicle is most likely a college-educated professional who is married with children. But the woman driving a Jaguar XF is a lover of luxury who is just as likely to be single or married.

If you are married, of course, you can buy any old darn car you want. Like a non-sexy Ford Explorer with 4WD, a GPS system, and the Eddie Bauer package which gets you the leather seats. Just because you like it.

Marriage is a great deal.¹

Once again, I will try to enlighten and expand your musical horizons with a topical and excellent music selection. The key lyric: “I identify chicks by the cars they drive.”


¹Excluding the cost of kitchen renovation projects. And children.


1. Enas Yorl - March 28, 2008

Ok. What about the other 97.8% of us single people who can’t afford porsches, lexi, & jaguars?

2. sandy burger - March 29, 2008

I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stand sports/luxury cars. I just can’t. I know that the ladies dig ’em, but I will not go there. I cannot do it.

(No offense to you sports/luxury car owners. I mean, do whatever makes you happy, man. I won’t judge you. Some of my best friends drive sports/luxury cars.)

I used to not believe that sports/luxury cars landed women, but now I’ve seen it firsthand too many times; it actually is true. But that doesn’t make me want to own one. No, it just makes me even more misanthropic than I was before.

Reproductive success be damned, if a woman is impressed by a freakin’ car, she can walk home.

3. dr4 - March 29, 2008

Men dont give a shit what kind of car women drive. Just like we dont give a shit what kind of job women have.

A woman can be riding a unicycle on her way to work at the slaughterhouse and i’ll still slow down to check her out if she has nice enough tits.

4. Sir Paul (and every other man who has ever been married in the history of the Universe) - March 29, 2008

And marriage isnt cheap. You lose (at least) half your shit and all of your freedom the minute you say “I do.”

Take all the money you save not being married Enas and go buy a Porsche. As someone quoted in another thread: “Porsche. It’s a little too small to get laid IN it, but you get laid the minute you get out of it”

5. Bart - March 29, 2008

Did I say it was Caturday?

fawkin-A right I did!

6. lauraw - March 29, 2008

Bart is silly this morning. It’s cute, even though he hate me.

7. Retired Geezer - March 29, 2008

Bart don’t hate you.

He is:

1. Afraid
2. Repulsed
3. Fascinated
4. Enamored
5. All of the Above

8. kevlarchick - March 29, 2008

I guess Mr Kevlar’s old blue pickup without a muffler is not a chick magnet. That’s okay. At least the boy has a job.

9. eddiebear - March 29, 2008

I guess those Saturns I drive tag me as an overwhelmed father.

10. E. Spitzer - March 29, 2008

Why buy a car when you can rent one?

11. daveintexas - March 29, 2008

I like my pickup but I think my favorite truck is the one I gave my youngest kid.

12. Cuffy Meigs - March 29, 2008

Great. Two Volvos. And no kids.

13. Michael - March 29, 2008

Great. Two Volvos. And no kids.

And no sex.

Cuffy, at least get a Crimefighter Vehicle, like the Ford Explorer, which is sort of like a boxy Batmobile.

14. BrewFan - March 29, 2008

Or a sweet F150 if you like your women a little on the trashy side!

15. Cuffy Meigs - March 29, 2008

Won’t say what I had immediately before marriage. Ends with “uh” and it got traded for the Vulva, post-nup.

Basically I’m telling you that you’re all correct.

16. Bart - March 29, 2008

He is:
1. Afraid
2. Repulsed
3. Fascinated
4. Enamored
5. All of the Above

What am I, a chimp exhibit at the zoo?

17. Take your filthy paws off me you damn dirty amish - March 29, 2008

No of course not.

Chimps have more hair. And smell better.

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