Ten Least Appealing Euphemisms for Sex June 8, 2008
Posted by Sobek in Sex.trackback
1. The Quaker Quickie
2. The Two-Thrust Tango
3. A squidgie
4. British-style
5. Polishing the hump
6. Bringin’ the Pain
7. Islamically-Correct Burka Banging
8. The Pre-Planned-Parenthood
9. Three Orders of Jalepeno Poppers, Four Rounds of Lite Beer, Spare Ribs, a Milkshake & Coitus
10. Pullin’ a Michael
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Innocent Bystanders 
“The Beast with Two Backs”
Show my O-face
Burying the duck….
Playing Hide the Sausage
bearin’ down on the boner
gainst-the-wall-skirt-lifter
kinky linky
muddin’
gettin’ your Malor on
O’Donnelling
#9 wins already. I ain’t even tryin.
taking the dog to the beach
Paul Giamatti
Poppin’ some crusty sores……on Paul Giamatti
tunnellin’ the tuna
punch the merkin
Put my hands around your throat and very slowly extinguish your life
fake an orgasm
own the sidebar
Giving Dave a chance.
close your eyes and think of someone better lookin’
cut it off
unclogging the gutters
slidin’ around in a pool of vomit
dominating the thread
fallin’ down a well
puttin’ the dog down because he caught rabies….from Paul Giamatti
gettin’ stung in the eye by a hornet
The Brewfan minute.
gettin’ cancer
movin’ to Texas
hunkerin’ down in the foxhole
…actually, that one doesn’t sound too bad. Hmm.
Diggin’ the trench
dump the body
crushin’ figs
pushin’ Michael off the sidebar
Discoverin’ he’s tiny
the shameful thing we never talk about
Beatin’ the snake
slashin’ and cuttin’ and bleedin’
Representin’ the Spudders.
Laura, I get the impression you’ve had a lot of disappointment in your life.
Standing up your pal at the airport.
No, wait.
cutting a hole in the sheet
skippin’ foreplay
preparin’ a brief
Cruisin’ for road kill
I get the impression you’ve had a lot of disappointment in your life.
Follow it with “…and this time will be no different.” and you have what Sobek says before foreplay.
skippin’ foreplay
Does that mean that yelling “Brace Youself”, isn’t foreplay?
Who knew?
Damn, girl…
Yes…it is too my birthday again already.
stumble over a corpse
hurting the clam very badly and then crying together
takin’ a break
No, for real, I have to take a break. bb in a bit
Damning the torpedo
Storming the beach head
Lighting the candle
discovering he’s tiny? how’s that a euphemism for sex? wait
*looks up euphemism in dictionary
yeah, ok. have we expanded our sexual terms to mean anything disappointing about sex then?
cuz I got one for tiny.
finding out he’s a pinky
the.worst.ever
Raiding the tomb.
Opening the necronomicon.
Snaking the drain
Summoning Cthulu.
Failing your saving throw against abstinence.
Fruitlessly searching for the man in the boat
Hookin’ up with Rosetta.
pushin’ Michael off his sister
Cow-punching
Detaching the abdominal muscles
Making the helicopter
Headboard haiku
Makin’ the beast with Ed Asner’s back
Rattling the molars
Bumping humps
Detaching the abdominal muscles
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That’s just awful!
The Ernest Borgnine bounce
Quid quo HELLO
stupid drugs knocking me back out i’ll bbl
Um..pro
Dropping the roofie
Puttin on the Ritz.
fuck. I got NOTHING
Painting like Pollock
Messin’ with Texas
Paraplegic leap-frog
I am so not in the groove.. DAMMIT.
Ok, “throwing one into the flat”
“Kicking up your heels (self explanatory really)”
A job well done.
Don’t push the Red Button.
DEFCON One
There’s nothing on TV
Condition PINK
Releasing the hound
Failing your saving throw against abstinence.
Somewhere, Ace just chuckled to himself and wondered why.
iiit’s a small world after alllll
I’m goin’ drinking.
I really hope ECC and Catherine aren’t reading this thread.
You need a new transmission for your girl’s pickup Mr. Dave.
*flaccid*
Breakin’ a bitch
Watching reruns on the History Channel.
Communicating some warts
Selfish Time
Thinking about your brother
(both)
I give. Laura is kicking my ass.
Oh wait, here’s one.
It was a rainy night
When he came into sight,
Standing by the road,
No umbrella, no coat.
So I pulled up alongside
And I offered him a ride.
He accepted with a smile,
So we drove for a while.
I didnt ask him his name,
This lonely boy in the rain.
Fate, tell me its right,
Is this love at first sight?
Please dont make it wrong,
Just stay for the night
Bouncin’ on the flesh trampoline
Sharing your feelings.
picking up a can in the yard
The Wet Noodle Waltz
Thinking up inappropriate names for children’s cereal.
gettin’ your Malor on
Well that’s just like Novocain to the kitty.
HAHAHAHHAA
That’s it??!!
I work my grotesque hump off coming up with oodles of this shit, and the first ACTUAL LAUGH comes from a side-comment delivered by some random hot blonde??!!
OH. OH. OK.
FINE.
FIIIINE.
I see how it is.
No, really.
No, it’s fine. I’m glad someone was finally able to make you happy. Really Dave. If you’re happy, I’m happy.
*simmering in jealousy*
*thinking about slashing LD’s tires*
as long as you’re happy toots.
oh, here, member this?
LOUDER
LOUDER
those crazy squids
Gettin’ funky with “Toots”
I got nothing.
That’s what she said
Are you done yet?
badgering the beaver
exploring the bat-cave
brushing the bush
humping the hump
stroking the goat
clearing the throat
filling the bucket
plugging the socket
oh, here, member this?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DqaWdkdFb3Y
These videos actually get me misty when I see them. These men and women sacrifice so much for our country and spend so much time away from their loved ones. I just like seeing them having a good time. I’m so, so proud to be an American. God Bless the U.S.A
*bawl
k, I’ll shut up now stupid drugs
Draining the swamp
cunching the punt
riding the skin bus to tuna town
here punkin… love this one too
fingering the dike
creaking bed syndrome
putting cream on the taco
freaking the beaver out
here punkin… love this one too
haha, I spent a half hour watching them
taming the shrew
groping the gerbil
feeding the pu$$y
Latin pool boy and executive’s wife
warden’s wife and escaped prisoner
Odd fun fact. When I wanted to buy an 88 key keyboard, something with read piano action, for eldest, I got this Yamaha for her.
not sad. Nuh uh. Not one bit.
pu$$y catches a mouse
nerdy college professor and hot sexy undergrad desperately in need of a “A”
as an aside, I got an “A” in all my math classes
>>as an aside, I got an “A” in all my math classes
On your own, or…..
what?
the devo whip
the angry pirate
*I did get A’s tushar but I’m just teasing as to the reason why
I’m with the band.
A little “me” time
slapping leather
riding the hog
waxing the lane
enter the dragon
burying the bone
wasting some condoms
disappointing the slut
Failing your saving throw against abstinence.
Hahahahahaha!
Where’s Rich J?
This is so The Hostages.
sticking the landing
once more into the breach
removing the tampon
blogging
feeding the dog
playing the clarinet
putting the coon into the poon.
sanding the deck
Ignoring the stench
stuffing the donut
moistening the wick
slapping little jonny behind the ear
defying gravity
rubbing one in
parting the red sea
maxing daddy’s credit card
doing your best bunny impersonation
shake rattle and roll
the most exciting 2 minutes in the bedroom
taking dictation
Greasing the thighs. (of a fat naked woman.)
Upgrading the countertops.
practicing your backhand
The payoff
exercising at the Y
teaching her a lesson
Giving the high-hard one
(or in wiserbud’s case, .5 of one)
gaining a respect and greater understanding for her feelings.
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
Checking for ticks
hard?
going deep
Taking it on the chin
tossing the salad
taking one for the team
The agony of her feet
making copies
Strappin’ on the 2 X 4
Looking for my keys
spelunking
The humiliation game
Passin’ the Clap
ping pong
breakin’ a hip
Kneelin’ on a nut and apologizin’ profusely
Gettin’ toothy wid it
Makin’ it really sting bad
Once in a blue moon.
Making her regret her decision
this won’t hurt a bit
shaving the cat
Paining the peepee
Blurtin’ out some wrong names
hoping she’s asleep
Wakin’ her up angry
Throwing a hot dog down a hallway. (Sobek only)
proving her wrong
Tapping into the Titan Arum.
Celebrating your eleventh birthday.
going to lunch
Eating the worm.
wait, I like 205
Making the next Hitler.
Dropping the kids off in the stink hole.
Splitting the mud flaps.
Rape.
Meeting R. Kelly.
Finding your long lost sister.
Feeding the meter.
Rape.
I almost posted that one yesterday but decided it was too Rosetta-ish
Airing a grievance.
What I learned from watching Rosetta’s Mom
I almost posted that one yesterday but decided it was too Rosetta-ish
You didn’t think of it because of your boob fetish.
Cornholing.
Killing a clown.
lauraw’s dad returns to prison.
Voting for hope and change.
Pretending to care.
Dying inside.
Menege a Clinton.
placating
Hopefully not getting AIDS.
getting ready to rumble
Campaigning for John McCain.
making the Kessel run in less than three parsecs (I’m almost ashamed to admit that this came to mind)
rLOVEution!
Poking the placenta.
arrrrrr, swabbing the deck. Battening down the hatches. Hoisting the mizzenmast.
Really, there are hundreds of these.
Prepare to be boarded.
making the Kessel run in less than three parsecs (I’m almost ashamed to admit that this came to mind
Hahahahaha!! Nice one, Russ.
Listening to Susan Sarandon.
Retiring early.
Investing for the short-term.
Eating Beggin’ Strips.
Flipping your son upside down and putting his penis in your mouth.
Meeting Ron Jeremy.
Auditing and clearing.
Listening to the Special Comment.
The Foot Fist Way
Fucking Chris Rock
Eating your vegetables.
Marrying OJ Simpson.
Shorting the Vietnamese Dong.
Why didn’t anyone tell me this thread was happening? That’s it. We’re takin’ this to 1000!
I read all these and did not see “playing army.”
Giving the dog a bone
shootin squirrels
making love
*spt*
turkish prison delight
May I just point out that we have over 250 comments, and they are all on-topic?
What did I fall asleep and wake up in Crazy Town?
Back on topic:
Falling asleep and waking up in Crazy Town.
falling into a gutter and getting wet and dirty
brown eye surprise
Taint painting
anticipatory ejaculation
Riding the Non-Stop Disappointment Express
Getting Rick Rolled.
Beating the spread
Feng: Ping pong, or as the Chinese say: “Ping pong”.
Serving Feng
Playing with balls…of fury
Mastering meeting the dog
(“Sexual intercourse in Chinese is “jiaogou”: “jiao” means “meet” and “gou” here means “marry, copulate” but “gou” with a different tone and character, means “dog”. Errrr, never mind.)
Spread the batter
Cover the tramp stamp
Milk the cow into the bucket
Fun before the pizza delivery – wait for only 29.5 minutes
Justify the shorty robe
Mess the tarp
Play with the houseboy…with toys!
Give Julio the Poolboy his tip
Muslihoon- did you just rent that movie too?
Ordering the Surf and Turf
Going Balls Deep
Quarterback Sneek
Running the Option
Putting it between the uprights
3rd and Short
Running a Hook Pattern
I watched it some time ago. Awesome movie.
Seeking sudden death (what part of it don’t you understand?)
Giving the Grim Reaper a hard time (little death…get it? Errrr, never mind.)
Bart’s meeting the guys for drinks
Taking a break from reading great books
Bart’s meeting the guys for drinks
Christopher Walken=Feng
Almost busted a gut.
Busting a gut.
Pulling a Crazy Ivan
Carnal Tunnel Syndrom
Standing in line at the DMV.
Party at the pereneum
The Suicide Squeeze
Having a bowl of Kellogg’s Fuck Flakes.
shocking the monkey
What do I win for combining sex and cereal names?
Cash?
determining the sex
Suffocating the Bald Midget
Using a receptacle.
Reupholstering the ottoman.
emulating the Hostages
Retraining Rosie O’ Donnell.
Siegfrieding Roy.
emulating the Hostages
Hahahahaha.
Spelunking.
“What do I win for combining sex and cereal names?”
I don’t know, but PJM offered me a blow job the other day. Maybe Sobek could do the same.
Splitting the entree.
Infiltrating the rear echelon
Spelunking.
Fail.
hijacking the blog
I don’t know, but PJM offered me a blow job the other day. Maybe Sobek could do the same.
You want Sobek to offer you a blow job?
Homo.
Here’s my new favorite joke:
*Rosetta, to wiserbud: Are you a fag in a cage?
*wiserbud: No!
*Rosetta, pointing at wiserbud: FAG ON THE LOOSE!!! FAG ON THE LOOSE!!!
Running the Gauntlet
Spelunking.
Fail.
Dammit…
Cherry Picking
Using Daddy’s Fingers.
Using Mao Tse Tongue.
mowing the lawn
Riding in the Ford Fellatio.
burying the hatchet
Discriminating against brown people.
stinking up the joint
Oh hey, Tushar. Didn’t see you there.
>>Discriminating against brown people.
Fluttering the brown eye.
Doing the “Jew”.
Rosetta, did you check the comment by your husband?
“You want Sobek to offer you a blow job?”
Only if Sobek’s a hot chick without any mouth ulcers. Otherwise, it’s all yours. Enjoy.
oiling the pole
Bathing in fish sauce.
enlarging the hole
pleasing the prole
Shucking the oyster.
swallowing the mole
dancing around the cave entrance
stirring the honeypot with a sugarcane
Digging a Glory Hole
Sleeping over at Father Pflegers.
stirring the witche’s couldron.
jumping over grand canyon, and falling in.
invading Poland
Pap smear.
marching into Paris
drop a bunker-buster on the cave
smoke-out the snake
Driving the bit through the cobbles
Jack ‘n’ Jill.
shucking and jiving
drilling up the pavement with a jackhammer
Crossing the Rhine
romancing the stone
breaking the Maginot line
Sharing the peace pipe.
(Bart, wiserbud and Rich J only)
Pushing through the Clay Layer
blockading the Suez canal.
drilling in ANWR (cold and frigid – get it?)
shooing the Penguins
Biting the lower lip.
deepwater drilling
hijacking the blog
wiserbud,
Do we own this thread? Should it go in the Hostages Hall of Shame?
Will that irritate lauraw? Hopefully.
putting the camel’s nose into the tent.
Sparging in the Vadose Zone
Giving the dog a bone.
the Exxon-Valdez disaster
Reciting pi to the 100th decimal.
riding the poon pontoon
Yea! I can use technical terms at work as euphamisms for sex. I might learn to like my job again.
the Exxon-Valdez disaster
Hahahahahaha!!
punching the clock
hoisting the black flag
Sobek’s thread, Sobek’s problem.
Glad you guys came over to lend a hand though.
>>the Exxon-Valdez disaster
Think about it. Narrow channel, massive ship, spillage of toxic liquids.
Spilling Crude Oil All Over Her Prestine Shores
Smack my bitch up.
Pump and Treat
Glad you guys came over to lend a hand though.
We’re like the police except for stupid.
yeah, good thing we’re here. Otherwise this thread would have stayed respectable and junk.
winterizing the pipes
hiding the Ewok
Direct Push
I don’t care if no one else gets it, it’s funny to me.
Pee Wee and the Giant’s Gate
Bobsledding.
Now with more Bob.
Driving Miss Daisy
stuffing the Turkey
going to the bullpen
Grouting the Hole
Smacking the Gob
lancing the boil
Sliming the hagfish.
removing the crust
Firing the Death Star
Angering the Wookie
Failing Lord Vader for the Last Time
Riding the Worm
Letting the Spice Flow
Giving Water to the Dead
Engaging the Warp Drive
Decloaking the War Bird
Violating the Prime Directive
Getting Stuck in the Spam Filter
Twisting the Knife
Pulling the goalie.
swabbing the poop deck
Driving the Semi through a dark tunnel.
Bend it like rectum.
Jabbing Jabba the Hut in the Gut.
Tagging the Bottom
Looking for the real killer.
Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
Shutting up Jar Jar.
Eating organic Arugula
getting a tummy tuck
Liquor in the rear, have a washcloth near.
Staking the Centerline
Opening a can o’ wartass
Putting some Ice on it.
going to a whine tasting party
entering the echo-chamber
Playing Dirty Pool
swallowing your pride.
Getting your “Webelos” badge.
Picking Pussy Boogers
letting the fox into the henhouse
beating the bush
bull in a china shop
beating the thrush
regretting a thread
Keeping it in the family.
Wasting $25.
Cousining
going home again
punching the pilllow
setting the cellphone to ‘Vibrate’
taming the one-eyed snake
spilling the beans
putting the pipe organ in the Cathedral.
emergency room
Galloping in the open Prairie
Scrunt scrapin’
Diving in Texas
Going in with both scrotes swinging
Regrettable Incident
taunting the monkey
Sharing the Syphalis
poking your nose in someone else’s ‘business’.
making banana milkshake.
going off your diet
Wasting a Trojan.
“Opening a can o’ wartass”
Ewwwwwwwwwwww…
I actually think it would be pretty cool if this thread made it into the Comment Hall of Shame at a different blog.
Having a slice of apple pie
grazing in the countryside
an exercise in futility
Hoe the ho.
Sowing your wild oats, and praying for a crop failure.
stretching a euphemism.
gobbling up the bobblehead doll.
squeaking the dork.
putting lipstick on the pig
manipulating the actuator.
Wait, that would be a euphamism for beating off.
Wait again, it works because that’s the closest thing to real sex most of you morons get.
hiding the Torah
Plowing the Field
inflaming the passion of the proletariat
Feeding Rich J’s obsessions
Hoisting on a Pitard
Interpreting the Koran.
going to therapy
reciting the Camel-Sutra
feeding at the trough of capitalism
Inserting tab A into slot B
Party of Five.
getting your hands on a damn, dirty ape.
grading the student
Ward disciplining the Beav.
Silencing the lambs.
Learning about the birds and the bees.
icing the cake
taming the baboon
dropping the kids off at their mom’s
sending Indiana Jones into the Temple of Doom
Fighting the War On Terror- who could say no to that?
eating muslim babies
raising the voltage, lowering the resistance and plugging the shunt
Killing a terrorist- Everytime you have sex, a terrorist dies.
Making sweet love.
Erecting a monument.
Eating Spam
Connecting the Blade to the Hub
Mounting the nacelle
Again, probably only funny to me.
Developing Pumped Storage Cabability
Work is fun again.
Capability not cabability. Retard.
Needling the canyon
Subverting the Will of the People
Boring the Cylinder and Polishing the Head
Syncing your i-Pud.
polishing the pearl in the Oyster
Visiting the zoo.
Searing the ahi.
Getting Lost in My Own Depravity
Visiting the zoo.
Hahahahahaha!!! That one cracks me up.
Tapping the Hot Springs
Putting my head on your shoulder.
Confusing you and your sister.
Paying a visit to Clay Aiken
Putting it up on the rack
Gigging the Frog
Sending up the bomb
praying for forgiveness
Clam Baking
Taunting the Tiger
Practicing for prison
Warming up the Wonton
Engaging in Behavior Peculiar to Canadians (what with beavers and meese and all)
Frying the egg roll with yeast
Filleting the Flounder
Behaving like a Frenchman (bottoms only)
Putting a banana in the tailpipe
Doing the goose step, emphasis on goosing
Engaging in fudgelust
Stuffing the Oyster
Sinking the submarine
Slamming the Hood
Playing dead
Tunnel Busting
Making someone religious…calling out for God
Confusing anal sex for love.
Over half-way there.
Making Fondue
Bagging the Bagel
Getting to know each other.
Injecting the Eclaire
Churning the Chunnel
Rosetta keeps touching me and creeping me out
Plugging the Port
An Italian, Frenchman, and Jew were bragging about their prowess in bed.
The Frenchman said, “I put cheese all over my woman and ate it off her. Then I gave it to her good, and she screamed for five whole minutes.”
The Italian said, “I poured olive oil all over my woman, ate bread off of her, and gave it to her good. She shouted in fulfillment for fifteen whole minutes.”
The Jew said, “I smeared schmaltz all over my woman, we both ate it, and I gave it to her good. She shouted for two whole hours.”
The Frenchman and Italian looked at him in wonder. “That’s impossible! How did you get a woman to shriek for two hours?”
The Jew replied, “I wiped my schmaltz-filled hands on the drapes.”
Which yields…wiping schmaltz on the drapes.
I did this earlier, but it must have gotten stuck in the spam filer:
Eating Muslim Babies
Contributing to global climate change
Rosetta keeps touching me and creeping me out
Hahahahaha!
Jackass.
Acting out the Legend of John Henry
On that note, making al-Gore very irate indeed.
Wire-lining the Willie
(for you Rough Necks out there)
Genocide
(Get it? Hundreds of potential humans killed? Errr, forget it.)
Making the most of a bad situation.
Climbing the Rig
Going down on the Titanic
diving into the abyss
Pump, Grunt and Snore
To expand:
Climbing the Rig without a Safety Harness
beating the dead horse yet again
Obeying God (see: Genesis 1:28).
driving wrong way up the one way street.
Having pity/sympathy
Getting Wrapped Around the Drill Stem
Hitting the rosin bag
Backdoor slider
Making sweet, beautiful music (which makes no sense because music cannot be tasted or seen…which is just as good, as none of us get any anyway).
Goal line stand
smoking the pot full of weed
Putting a Bat in the Upper Deck
Getting the Auger Stuck
Driving the Drill Stem
The goal of being an activist
Breakin’ the Auger Lose
Using the Air Hammer
Trying to get a promotion
Developing the Well
homesteading the tundra
Getting Demoted
Vigorously moving one’s goalpost
Putting 15lbs of Kielbasa in the Meat Locker
gobbling the gollum
Flooding the cave
Falling in the Shaker
Meat Mining
scoring an own goal
Unintended Consequences.
Pile Driving the Bunker Buster
Blowing an Air Line
Testing the Tensional Strength of My Tool
Touring the Bushland
Trying to get one’s tribe slaughtered (see: Shechem the son of Hamor, the Hivite; Dinah; Simeon; Levi; in Genesis 34)
Sipping from the Fountain of Youth
Angering Pinchas (aka Phinehas) (see Numbers 25:7-11)
Dropping the Tool Down the Hole
Plowing the Pole into Polly’s Plush Peaches
Doing everything sung about in Bloodhound Gang’s “Foxtrot Uniform [etc]”
Filling one’s quiver
Putting a Little English On It
Hammering the Ham into Helen’s Hot Hole
Getting Used to Failure
Tooling Time in Tammy’s Tender Tunnel
Saying “Oh No”
Wiggling the Worm in Winona’s Wishing Well
Sorry, that should be “Oh My”.
Feh.
Feh-ing away.
Applying for a Conditional Use Permit
Hammering the Ham into Helen’s Hot Hole
Puking.
Seeing if he’s Jewish/Muslim/American Christian
Puking.
I meant Helen Hunt, not Helen Thomas you pervert!
Playing Frogger
Making Satan happy
Fisting Frank’s fanny
Jumping to nauseating assumptions, heh
Fisting Frank’s fanny
?!?!?!?!?
Doing stand-up comedy (’cause they will laugh)
Mr Minority – it’s called alliteration, and I suck at it
Wet-spotting the bed
Striving for Mediocrity
Skipping Class
Being a big beast in bed
Laying Siege to Laura’s Lair
Milking the Bull
Wasting My Lunch Hour
Sucking the head and eating the tail.
horizontal boring
Eating Lunch at Crawdad’s
Any Sacramento morons will know what I’m talkin bout.
Romancing the stone
Smelling something fishy
Plunging the cistern.
Flirting with squirting
Working nightshift at the morgue.
Sneaking in through the bedroom window while you sleep
Riding the Handbasket to Hell
Waiting for the Tooth Fairy
Enabling My Delusions
Taking Time to Titillate Tina’s Taco
Cocking the Kimber.
Do any of you…people….have jobs?
Ramming the Rod in Rhonda’s Roadhouse
Catfish noodling.
Oops.
Catfish noodling.
Peaking Her Interest
Giving you your birthday present.
Loosening a Load in Lola’s Love-canal
Blogging Her Intertubes
waiting your turn
Block Traffic with my Peterbuilt
Loading Her Chamber, Cocking my Hammer and Blowing it out the Barrel
Working Late at the Office
Jumping into the hottub
Skinny-dipping, emphasis on the dipping
Attending a Conference in Dallas
Freeing Up Some Bandwidth
Going to DC
Running for governor of New York
Becoming IL’s Republican boy wonder
going to a Neil Diamond concert…..no, I, uh, mean Metallica.
making a contribution
Freeing the Masses
Getting what you paid for
riding the express bus to poontown
riding the short bus
Plumping the Depth of Her Deliciousness
Topping Off the Tank
Pokin a pickle in a barrel.
That’s wiserbug’s.
Sealing the Cracks
Chucking Wood
Dredging the Canal
Tipping the babysitter.
Pumping off the sludge
Wettin’ the Whistle
Organizing The Tool Box
Porting and Polishing the Intake
Gumming Up the Works
Putting Meat in the Meat Grinder
Adjusting the fuel/air mixture
Discharging the Capacitor
Providing torque to the rear end
Throwing a Rod
Bleeding the Brakes
Lubing the Main Bearing
Making Everything Sound Dirty
Adjusting the Rockers
Greasing the thow-out bearing
Slapping in a Racing Cam shaft
that would be “throw-out bearing”. Dammit.
Plumping the Depth of Her Deliciousness
Don’t you mean “Plumbing”?
You plump up to plumb.
Make sexy time.
Burning Rubber on the Drag Strip
Burning a ring
Installing Hooker Headers
“Afternoon Delight”
“Stairway to Heaven”
“Money!”
“Rocket Man”
“Highway to Hell”
“Back in Black”
I’ll try this again:
Installing Hooker Headers
This one’s for Rosetta:
Swapping out the Tranny
New Bushings on my Tie Rod
Balancing the Drive Shaft
Comment #666 above. How fitting.
Lubing the Rear End
Spending My Unemployment Check
Another one for Rosetta:
Changing the Tranny Fluid
Test-driving the intern
Fencing with pork swords.
(Rich J and Mr. Minority only)
Wiping the Dip Stick
“Under Pressure”
“Walking the Dog”
“Midnight Rider”
Okay, this has gotten a little too silly, and I’m going to have to insist that you all stop at once.
Making a Cream Pie
Waiting for Godot.
Rosetta:
Crimping the Butt Splice
Locking Sobek in the Closet
Pulling the Butt Plug
Taking Sobek to Task
Rosetta:
Cleaning the Rims
Mr Minority:
Misfiring his MiniGun.
That’s wiserbug’s.
She likes me! She really , really likes me!!
Pulling the Choke
Packing the Bearings
Squashing the wiserbug.
“Leave Wiserbug Alone!”
Tossing the Ring into the Mountain of Doom
Hahahahahahaha!!!
Watch it.
WATCH IT ALL!!!
Playing loindarts.
Respecting My Authority
Winning the Pole Position
Pulling the Bart plug
Killing her softly with your love.
going for the 3-10 split
Killing her hurriedly and swiftly with your love
Taking the inherstate
Traveling the back roads
Honing out the Bore
Winning the croc’s approval and approbation
Using Fix-a-Flat
I mean it. We don’t tolerate this kind of nonsense around here. IB is a serious place for serious discussions.
Stomping in the Mosh-pit
Waking the gimp
Exploring the many uses of duct tape
So, is it fort or for-tay?
Whichever it is, sex isn’t this group’s.
Penetrating Fortress Eve
impregnating the impregnable
Spearing the Tang Fish
Rocking the Croc
Stud Poker
Playing Chutes & Ladders
Freeing Willy
Boosting the fat chick’s confidence
Harpooning the Whale
Fulfilling the Duties of Wingman
AKA
Wingmanning
Facilitating a Merger
This shit’s like breathing, it just comes naturally.
Defending against a Hostile Takeover
Getting in touch with my inner child
Going for the Triple Crown
Sweating the Pipe
Threading the P Trap
Getting a Nut Off
Torquing Down the Head Bolt
spelunking
Caging the Puppy
Disciplining the Kitty
Churning butter.
Working on my slice
Turning her gay.
(Mr Minority only)
making blue cheese
crashing my hard drive
Rappelling Mt. Fatmore.
Pushing the retard off the subway platform.
Thinking about baseball
“Rappelling Mt. Fatmore.”
Ha!
I can’t believe nobody used this… OK, I didn’t actually check.
Working on the Night Moves.
repeatedly thrusting my erect penis into her receptive vagina
I guess that’s not really a euphemism, is it?
Blasting the Beef
Doing it human style
Doing it black widow or praying mantis style
Praying mantis style – a whole new meaning to giving head
Becoming a biological investor
Making a deposit
Pushing the retard off the subway platform.
Hahahahaha!
Is anyone else sad that this thread would reach 1,000 faster than the cereal thread?
Eating cereal, if by “eating” you mean “banging” and if by “cereal” you mean “a hot person”.
Steaming up the windows…by all the moisture exuded by begging for 2 minutes of fun
Annoy the neighbors
Use the playground (i.e., swinging)
Touching the hiney.
Find an excuse not to do homework
Ruin the wedding day
Empower and perpetuate the obgyn-medical complex
Foreplay: blow up
Afterplay: deflate
Middle: squeak time!
Find a reason to brandish the Extra Large box of prophylactics
Alright, last one because I have to pack and fly out to Orange County tomorrow.
John Holmes Channels Shirley McClain
Orange County? Auditioning for a yardboy to snag a desperate housewife? I hear that’s what goes on.
Undesperating a desperate housewife
Rosetta Churns his Boyfriend’s Butt Butter with His Swizzle Stick
Actually I am going to OC to fight the County.
Channel Surfing
Kinder und Küche, ja wohl!
As Rosetta knows, this is for men too now! How egalitarian fascists have become!
His Swizzle Stick
More like his coffee stirrer
Stirring the coffee
765: The words in italics because they’re in a foreign language, not because I’m quoting someone.
And I left out Kirche because no Church worth its salt would accept the travesty of an operation that the mother-to-be went through in the example, which Rosetta knows very well what I’m talking about.
Which yields: Postlude to walking down the aisle
Stuffing it in the trunk
Going out for one’s job
Getting Lost
Moving to Idaho.
Billing the Client
Being a lawyer
Expunging the Record
Billing the Client
Killing this thread.
(Muslihoon only)
I thought Mr. Minority had to pack and fly to OC? Slacker.
Taking up the slack
For Rich J:
Slapping the Slacker in Detention Hall
Plumping the Ballpark frank.
^ I hope it’s Kosher.
Just sayin’
Milking the Man Meat in Minni’s Mammoth Mound
Headin’ for Orange County.
Wait, has that been used already?
O brother, where art thou?
(Mr Minority only)
Invoking the Spirit of Shatner
Plowing the Potato in Patty’s Pleasure Pasture
clubbing the fur seal
Okay Helmet Heads, I am done packing for OC, now I am wasting time until dinner is ready.
I fly out tomorrow morning (First Class all the way! So Eat Shit Proles!!)
Those first class seats will be nice when you’re stuck on the tarmac for four hours.
Flying sucks donkey junk.
Eatin’ a sammich
Shamefully Schlonging in Sheila’s Shrunken Shack
Playing with a bundle of joy in a tiny fur coat.
OK, I stole that from Mr. Lipstick.
Seeking Internet Fame
making an art film
Pushing the envelop
wettin’ the willie
implementing the “Heat Seeking Moisture Missle”
Sittin’ in front of the ‘puter, eating cheese puffs, orange stuff on my “stuff” watching pron…..
Oh, wait. Phrases for people having sex…not watching others have sex.
Well, I’m stumped.
It’s not merely ‘phrases for having sex,’ it’s Least Appealingeuphemisms for sex.
Read the title and the first bunch of comments.
As in, you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.
/thread-killing pedant with nothing better to do tonight
…you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.
Making Whoopie With Laura
Sowwy, lauraw.
Unclear on the concept.
(heh, see what I did there?)
Wham, bam, thank you ma’am…SIR?!?!
Ah hah! So, I am the Threadkiller, Postslayer, Last of the lastest, Black hole of comments’ hope!
Riding the Sandworm
Letting the Spice Flow
Giving Water for the Dead
Yay! Enas! I’m so glad to see you!
That would be painful indeed.
But the spice must flow!
Howdy Muslihoon! I can’t comment from work anymore so I’m late to the party.
Firing the Death Star.
Sorry to hear about the work thing, Enas.
Expending the Force
Receiving Obama’s special initiation oil upon one’s head
Becoming a popular on-screen star with Paris Hilton on a night-vision video
Shooting Womp-rats in Beggar’s Canyon
Taking a shower
Failing Lord Vader for the Last Time.
“I find your lack of faith in my prowess to be disturbing”
Behold his lightsaber!
Engaging the Warp Drive
Violating the Prime Directive.
Loading Photon Torpedos
Enas is so classy.
What I get to see my Internets friends, it’s always a good day.
lol! Thanx Muslihoon!
Reversing the Polarity on the Emitter Array.
The Emplacement of the Male Reproductive Organ into the Corresponding Female Reproductive Orifice (Which May or May Not Include the Cloaca) and Inserting Thereinto the Male-Originating Genetic Material for the Joining of It with the Female-Originating Genetic Materia, for the Development of Offspring, Creating Thereby, in the Human Reproductive System, a Zygote, Blastocele, Blastocyst, and So On.
Well, it’s not appealing, is it?
you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.
So let me get this straight…. You’re okay with most of these then? Like, if your husband suggested.ooooo, I dunno…..flirting with squirting?
Oooookaaaaayyyy…. someday, I really gotta meet you.
Mr. Minority was the worst offender. He obviously did not read the post and started coming up with all these alliterative euphemisms.
I want to slap him, but he’s heavily armed and I am a known coward.
someday, I really gotta meet you.
Just walk in! A visit from a friend practically guarantees a huge rush of customers when I am unable to do anything but glance at you apologetically until you finally saunter out the door, foiled due to time constraints.
Sucks for you but I could always use the money dude.
This one’s for wiserbud and all the folks in the San Francisco Bay Area:
Riding Bart.
Very unpleasant indeed.
wiggling the worm
sharing the germ
slathering the sperm
I’ve been giggling about that since I thought of it almost three hours ago on the way home from work. I’m easily amused.
crashing into the berm
Eating Clam Chowder
smoking out the Viet Cong
Poking a dead bloated cow with a sharp stick until it pops
Wide mouth bass swallowing the guppy
pledging the superdelegate
…you’re supposed to think of a term that is so off-putting or disturbing that it makes sex undesirable after you hear it.
Man, that is soooooooo like Laura, trying to kill a thread and pussy-whip everyone in the process.
How does a malformed Portuguese pack-and-shipper get the chutzpah to do that?
It’s a mystery to me. But, I think many of the remaining comments on this thread should be designed to offend Laura.
1. Pounding the package.
2. Busting the tape.
3. Tipping the UPS guy.
Humping the …ummmm….hump.
4. Overnight delivery.
5. There is an extra charge for hair male.
6. Tightly packed breakables should be insured.
why can’t you get this to California by tonight if I pay extra?
What can Brown do for you?
incorrectly wrapping your package
Packing the fudge
7. Don’t pop the bubblewrap!!
FUCK.
8. It’s all about getting the right box to fit the package.
9. If the package doesn’t fit, you just stuff in some more (styrofoam pea-) Nuts!
Charging extra for the overweight package
10. The secret of packing is to cushion the shock, especially when you are dealing with a big package.
Shipping Biological Samples
Stuffing it in the shipping tube
mishandling a package
Delivering to the wrong address
Damaging the merchandise
Putting on the “this end up” sticker
declaring the contents for international delivery
putting it in the pouch
Overnight delivery
#859 repeater. Fail.
Shipping Live Animals
Filling out the label
Using FedEx
Stating: But Canada isn’t a foreign country!
Driving the Dirty Route
For international deliveries, don’t forget that “customs” tax — on your knees!!!
For other international customs taxes…don’t forget to bend over.
Calling in a Pick Up
Stacking them 12 deep
Sending a shipment of pharmaceuticals…that’ll take three months to clear customs.
Chancing a Spring Awakening
augering out the sump pit
Cash on Delivery
Chancing a Spring Awakening
LOL! The best!
#871
Russ, that was just cruel to mention that here.
Thank you.
Russ just screwed up the theme of the moment. Oh well, I was running out of UPS riffs.
Burning of the Slag
scheduling a meeting with Cheney
Russ just screwed up the theme of the moment. Oh well, I was running out of UPS riffs.
Burning off the Slag
Drilling in ANWR
tipping the delivery boy
going into voicemail
judging the “Cool Facts about John Bolton’s Moustache” thread
Crap!
Ringing the doorbell and dropping it on the porch
brandishing the pooper scooper………..and you don’t even have a pet!
taking off and nuking the whole site from orbit, because it’s only way to be sure.
munchin’ on the BRAAAAAAAAINS!
ensuring the survival of the species
offending Amish
tickling the ovaries
judging the “Cool Facts about John Bolton’s Moustache” thread
Fuck you. I judged the *Cool Facts about Dick Cheney* thread, and it is an intertubes classic to this day.
interviewing Obama
churning the babybatterbutter
Being at your cervix
milking the badger
prepping the battle space
eating the “Old 96er”
beginning to weep
calling in an airstrike on your own position
Summoning She Who Should Not Be Named
posting a diary at Daily Kos
going 20 for 34 with 2 TD’s and an INT in the wildcard game
paying for your mistakes
winning the Super Bowl
becoming visibly tuminescent while watching “I Spit on Your Grave”
Beating the Patriots
spackling the drywall
freezing the warts
eating 15 ounces of bacon (cooked weight) in 15 minutes
doing community service
knocking wiserbud off the sidebar so that you’ll have it all to yourself……VICTORY!!!!
Analyzing the body language
eliminating kevlarchick as a suspect
enjoying a fleeting victory
using your phone as an alarm clock
hunting down replicants
winning the Super Bowl
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
puttin’ on the foil
dropping a quad
taking the little woman for a roll in the thistles
using your phone as an alarm clock
Dude, you are getting vicious.
gettin’ intestinal parasites
retiring to the batcave for a smoke
settin’ up the jenkem lab
aggravating your carpal tunnel inflammation
earning a MS in 14th Century Italian Poetry
checking your footnotes
getting even with the Germans for bombing Pearl Harbor
drunk-blogging
realizing that it was actually the Japanese who bombed Pearl Harbor, but letting it slide because he’s on a roll
whipping the crack
retiring to the batcave for a smoke
That hurt. That hurt real bad.
scheduling a Prison Colonoscopy
polishing her teeth
realizing that the Kink’s “Lola” isn’t about a smoking hot chick
demanding a refund
kneeling before Zod
realizing TOO LATE that the Kink’s “Lola” isn’t about a smoking hot chick
fixed that for ya
rocking out to “Muskrat Love”
cheering for the Giants
realizing that there are 15 people reading these comments waiting to jump in and try to get #1000 with their name on it
channeling The Pinto
grouting the tile
pounding down the pork
spending hours coming up with lolcat euphemisms for having sex
quietly quenching the queef
closing your eyes and thinking of England
changing the oil in the mower
BTW, Russ, that meat you brought to the IBSBP was awesome. The sausage was really good.
That is why you have not been banned,
Sucking up to Batman
winning the World Series
assuming the worst
passing off roadkill possum as sirloin steak
synchronizing the carbs
playing soccer
being Keanu Reeves
renting the winnebago
letting one slip out on a long elevator ride
testing the blood sugar
I kan haz whoopy? Kthanxby
bringing the dingos into the nursery
dealing with hypoglycemia
vibrating the concrete
talking to the hand
anticipating failure
diggin’ in the crawlspace
for Michael
unconvincingly proclaiming your heterosexuality
lazing a stick of dynamite (blatantly stolen from “Real Genius” and Ace’s blog tonight)
For the record:
I hate Wiserbud.
I hate him a lot.
waterboarding a mime
supersizing the meal
lancing the boil
sweeping the leg
wax on, wax off
confronting Martin Kove
catching a fly with chopsticks
listening to Bananarama
working it crane-style
Serving on silky pony’s staff
Crushing of Dissent
Journalist writing about Obama
Blowing through the red light
Realizing that if you absolutely, positively HAVE to go to prison, you want your cellmate to look like Ralph Macchio (because if you drink 8 glasses of toilet wine and squint really hard, he sort of kind of looks like Lori Petty) instead of looking like Bolo Yeung.
Failing biology
casting a vote for CHANGE!
Being a teenaged male intern with a cell phone
Working as an Israeli national security consultant to the Governor of New Jersey
stretching a mildly amusing 2 minute SNL skit out into 105 minutes of alleged comedy
What Obama does to you when a bus is coming your way
lancing the volcano
admiring the jheri curls
doing it for the children
runnin’ whores in Hondo
Distracting Imadinnerjacket
Being a Russian spy
rushing the passer
honoring the hiker, bear-style
jumping on the bandwagon
mixing mohitos
fucking the bitch
OY GEVALT! I suck!
remembering what I said in #940
Breaking…you know.
You guys take it all the way, I’m out of ideas.
[At Muslihoon’s request, this comment was moved out of the 1,000 position.]
That’s it. I’m outta here. Talking poo is where I draw the line.
Sorry, Russ. You or Rich should have got it. I was hoping to be 996 or something.
But I will remember this thread for the rest of my life. *beams*
Foiling my plans for world domination
Muslihoon sucks schwetty balls
Climbing a water tower with a .357…..or a .358. Whatever it takes.
smoking crack
Eagerly awaiting the next thread
Having your moment of ecstacy turn into blinding shame and feelings of inconsequentiality, while you gather up your soiled clothing and head back to the more respectable comment threads.
Wow guys, I have to say I wasn’t expecting that.
*Geezer lights a cigarette*
Hey, wait, I don’t even smoke.
I hate Wiserbud. – Michael
HAH! In your FACE, Muslihoon!!
“Wow guys, I have to say I wasn’t expecting that.”
Your welcome.
Riding the storm out.
Booting-up the spread-sheet program
counting to 3
getting put in time out
I will never forgive Muslihoon for stealing my moment of glory, nor Russ for hornin in on my action at the very end of the thread. Bastages both.
Puttin your foot in it.
Make it stop.
after school detention
saturday school
analytical geometry- it’s all about the angle
Firing for Effect
stepping in dog crap
talking to wickedpinto on the phone
playing cornhole, badly
Seeing as this is Sobek’s thread, in which it is meet to hijack, if anyone wants an mp3 of “El Yivneh Hagalil” (an awesome Hebrew a capella song) by the BYU Men’s Chorus, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll e-mail it to you.
Singing hebrew acapella
Victory is mine!
ps-thx Muslihoon.
your pity is appreciated.
“Bringing back an old thread.”
Thrashing around with a crocodile
Weaning the ol’ “replacement heifer”
Earning the falafel
Bringing teh funnay.
Swattin’ her wasps
Ex-caping Batman.
Fixing her plumbing.
Yielding to her inaccurate comment about how long we have been married.
Cashing the check
slipping it into neutral
barrel racing
flying into Hartford
trench warfare
burying Ted Kennedy
voting “present”
minesweeping
doctor’s orders
breaking a twenty
Dave’s having fun
Curin’ her cramps
Eatin’ her nanner-bread
Fisting for dollars
zip lining the valley
reviving the dead thread
Dominatin’ the right sidebar
It’s old, Peel.
https://michaelscomments.wordpress.com/2008/06/08/ten-least-appealing-euphemisms-for-sex/#comment-158396
mwaa ha haaa
Yielding to her inaccurate comment about how long we have been married.
Puttin’ up with sumbunny’s rounding errors.
Kicking the neighbors out of the pool.
Driving to Madison
Five
Five minutes
Five minutes too long
Driving Miss Daisy
Committing a RICO violation.
Discussing Thomas Friedman’s oevre.
Debating theology on-line.
Correcting Sobek’s spelling.
(oeuvre)
Hidin’ the decline
Dede Scozzafava
Taking down the Christmas lights/Putting away the tree
Detonating some underwear
Melting the Permafrost
Grooming the Horses.
Wait, what?
Packing my duffel bag.
Hard freeze warning
Hey Dave, guess which website shows up as the #1 result if you do a Google Images search for “Hugh Jackman”?
checking the stats
Heading toward Punta Cana.
Countin’ flags
Playing ‘ferret vs. big red octopus’
marinating the marimbas
Switching out the first letters of Punta Cana.
tuggin’ on the feeding tube…
violating the restraining order
calling the bunt
calling the bunt
Heh!
Squeeze play?
Sled dogging.
Shovelin’ the driveway
Shovelin’ the driveway
aha. ahahaha. ahahahaha!
How about Begging dad for the car keys.
Counting to 1100
Chewing your way out of a dead, bloated killer whale.
Salting the sidewalk
Melting the icicle
Heating up the wassail
Putting the carrot in the snowman
waxing the ski
Gassing up the blower
Trudging through the slush
Hahahaha! Gassing up the blower
building the one-eyed snowman
Being Mr. Pelosi
^
LOL at Lauraw 1089 and 1090
Countin’ flags…… snort!
Amusing the Geezer
Finishing faster than the Jamaican bobsled team
Riding the Arctic Cat
Expecting 7. Getting 3.
Bringing a figgy pudding
hahahaha!
Driving in the slow lane
Missing the playoffs
1115–Wondering why compos is disappointed
Eating an over-ripened banana.
Pure Lutheran Doctrine
That was mean, Geezer. Just plain mean.
You are not as nice as you pretend to be.
wrapping the kittycat.
Going to the airport.
Sharing the pool with the neighbor’s kids.
Don’t start that, Michael, they’ll soon think they own it!
See you all in a week.
playing Wii Fit
American Idols Live Tickets Copps Coliseum…
I agree with Karnack58 the show took a hit when Siobhan went home at least two weeks early. I had her in the top 4 ahead of Aaron and Michael ( he was voted off too) she was never in the bottom three all season till that week… so SammDawg maybe you a…
attending American Idol Live
Discussing various legal positions with Elena Kagan.
“Passing Cap & Trade.”
LARPing Internet Porn
Confirming a Facebook Friend
Sockpuppeting a Moronette
Liquidating some assets
Tuesday.
Breachin’ the outer hull
Trawling for crabs.
Greenhornin’ on the Northwestern
Revisiting a dead thread.
Hooking up with Wiserbud
Budding with Wiser.
Hamming it Up.
Launching a sortie of Fatboys.
Making a meetup.
Deciphering Rosetta’s Stones.
Letting Van Go.
Watching Cathy Knit.
Talkin’ to Lipstick
Making Puttanesca.
Hiding the Decline
Singing Along to Buble
About half an hour ago, I started rereading Laura’s rant that got this thread started, and I was laughing so hard that I was actually crying.
unclogging the gutters
God I love that woman.
Making Sense of Anthony Watts
…this has a backstory?
I don’t get that. Anthony Watts makes perfect sense.
How about:
AGW in the Love-Tunnel
Yes, WUWT is a beacon of logic and clarity in a tempest of misinformation. But, by reading and understanding him, you are dorking Gore in the squeakhole.
…this has a backstory?
Yes, Reason. This thread actually started 1,159 comments ago.
Temporarily Allowing a Pop-Up
Reasonin’ with reason.
Missing the rant.
Rantin’ the Miss.
Also, Reason, a number of us, like Dave, Wiserbud, Cathy, and me, have actually made a pilgrimage to Connecticut, where we personally gazed with awe at her malformed, grotesque, humpbacked physique.
But, she turned out to be a really nice and funny person anyway. She is careful not to be all in-your-face defensive about her hideous appearance. She will give you time to stare in horror, and control your gag reflex. You get used to the hump pretty quick, and then hardly notice it. She’s just a sweetie.
That experience makes her comments even funnier.
Kaganing.
Releasing the Kraken.
I know, Mike.
I saw the pics.
I seethed with jealousy.
You all are teh coolest people I wish I knew.
Dessert after a bean burrito dinner.
You all are teh coolest people I wish I knew.
If you really want to meet us, and can get a Friday off in July so you can fly in for a Saturday event, send an email to laurawtipsATgmailDOTcom and grovel for an invitation and meeting details available online, including how many of us will be there.
Reason, I’d be delighted if you would come on over and meet our motley band of Morons.
Michael, will you alter that email addy just a little so spambots can’t find it? Thank you kindly.
🙂
Shaking Hands with the Moron
MAEKIN’ POAT.
Getting awkwardly fondled.
This actually came from a female friend of mine. She really liked a guy, and finally coaxed him onto a date. She was basically his for the taking, and he had no clue what to do with the situation.
I felt bad for her.
I felt a depth of pity never known before for him.
Deep Fried Bacon on a Stick
Playing the Clarinet.
(it’s probably been used but I ain’t lookin’)
Frammin’ on the jim-jam, frippin at the krotz
I know. that’s actually two, but I was thinking of my younger days when that was possible.
Now it’s pretty much frammin or frippin, and then to bed.
Reading the Bill.
Threading a Needle.
Cleaning up in Aisle 9.
Making Sausage Pizza.
Changing Avatars.
Joining the Tea-Baggers.
In regards to someone who gets da ladies, I’ve always been a fan of the phrase, “Gets more ‘tang than an astronaut.”
An Evening with The Bidens.
Giving the Wife a Reason to Change the Sheets
Free Rangin’ the Chicken
Vigorously Encouraging the Release of Semen into the Partner’s Uterus for the Purpose of Fertilizing an Egg Residing in Her Fallopian Tube
You’ve gotta admit, it sets a pretty unappealing scene.
Crashing an Oceanic Flight to LAX.
Batterin’ Some Bacon
Submitting your jobs bill
Losing the Weiner seat
Losing the Weiner seat
*nods head*
Creating a site called AttackWatch and then getting swarmed and held down while the entire goddamn Twitterverse of chortling righties rapes your mouth.
Seriously, I was on Twitter all day today. Funnest slow day at the store EVER. OMG I was ROTFLMAO.
President Obama is a stutterin’ clusterfuck of a miserable failure.
stuttering clusterfucking
Going spelunking with professor groin wood in happy time cave