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When The Masturbating Walrus Dies, What Else Is There To See? June 26, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Ducks, Entertainment, Food, Heroes, History, Humor, News, Science.
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[UPDATE! I provided the proper link. Sorry about that.]
Ayveq the Walrus was a popular attraction at the Coney Island Aquarium. I guess people flocked to see him clap his hands and beg for fish.

Well, maybe not.It appears he was popular for another reason.

Though well-liked long before he discovered the habit that would make him a star, Ayveq’s frequent public self-gratification made him the Coney Island institution’s singular attraction.

Ahh…I see. Well, how did Ayveq die?

“On Saturday night, he was perfect — no problems at all,” said Dohlin, “but the next morning, we could see that he was not right.”

Within one week, he was dead, most likely of a “massive” bacterial infection, Dohlin said.

“We tried everything, but it progressed so rapidly,” he said.

Truly sad. We should all light a candle for poor Ayveq.

Well, I guess there is nothing else now to see on Coney Island in the summer time.

Except for Joey Chestnut eating hotdogs.

Comments»

1. Lipstick - June 27, 2008

Oops. Eddie, your link goes to the Mount Shasta “Worst First Date” story.

I demand to read about the masturbating walrus! Pronto!

2. ian in hamburg - June 27, 2008

So how long before he died did the walrus go blind?

3. doubleplusundead - June 27, 2008

Here’s eddiebear’s post,

http://eddiebear.wordpress.com/2008/06/26/if-you-want-to-see-a-masturbating-walrus/

If any of you IBers want to correct the link.

4. Retired Geezer - June 27, 2008

You could switch both of those pictures and no one would know the difference.

Just Sayin

Has anybody seen Matt Damon lately? Holy crap, he’s AlGore HUGE.

5. BrewFan - June 27, 2008

Thanks ++UD, I fixed it for him. I’m sure he’s working on his next post, “When Shameless Blog Pimps Go Awry”. 🙂

6. eddiebear - June 27, 2008

^or when half asleep guys post waaayyy too late.

7. eddiebear - June 27, 2008

What happened was that I had the story about the mountain climbers ready for a post about “2nd date advice” for Musli.

But, I was distracted with this story. Too bad I just didn’t clear the climbers story from my clipboard.

I know. I know. Loose sh&t.

8. skinbad - June 27, 2008

Koo-uh-koo-uh-kaUHH-chooAAAARRRRGH

9. eddiebear - June 27, 2008

But at least the photos were centered.

10. Muslihoon - June 27, 2008

Our second date is another movie (I don’t think we’ll have time for dinner: I’ll have run from class to pick her up and take her to the theater, which, even though the movie starts at 12:01 am, we’ll just make it as my class ends at 10 and she’s quite a ways away from where my class is).

Unless she wants to come to class with me.

Now, that would be a weird date indeed – class and a movie!

And that is our second date unless I can get something before then, and she and I both want to meet before then. I’ll discuss with her this Sunday. But I have to be careful: a number of my brothers in Christ are getting jealous.

Any advice, as usual, is much appreciated.

Oh, and I don’t think WP knows I’m dating (unless someone told him, which I wouldn’t mind). I should tell him.

11. kristianechappell - June 27, 2008

So, aside from being blind, did it give him hairy flippers?

http://kristianechappell.wordpress.com/

12. Muslihoon - June 27, 2008

And wasn’t the American hot dog eater (mmmmmm, I love hot dogs on poppy seed buns) beat by a Japanese?

Strange, the world is.

13. Muslihoon - June 27, 2008

And isn’t it simply unfair that these champion hot dog eaters are so thin? I want that type of metabolism.

14. eddiebear - June 27, 2008
15. Muslihoon - June 27, 2008

Teeheehee. She loves outdoorsy stuff. I, not so much.

I’ll tell her I’ll climb any mountain for her…just not Mt. Shasta.

Thanks for the story!

16. Lipstick - June 27, 2008

But I have to be careful: a number of my brothers in Christ are getting jealous.

Fuck ’em. They just wish they were you.

17. eddiebear - June 27, 2008
18. Tushar - June 27, 2008

Nothing beats taking your date out for on a Swan-shaped peddle-boat.

19. Muslihoon - June 27, 2008

Her job is at a kids’ bike camp. I should send her that video.

20. eddiebear - June 27, 2008

18: tell me about it. But we were married at the time, so that kinda dulled the enjoyment.

21. Ed - June 28, 2008

dolphins, sea-lions, etc. should only be on display in places that have vast resources and space for them, anything else is pretty cruel. He’s in a much better place now.

22. xbradtc - June 28, 2008

Heh, wordpress.com has this link up on the main page. I’m guessing that’s how ed found our little hidey hole here.

23. Dave in Texas - June 28, 2008

Musli, Lipstick’s advice is just an expression and not meant to be taken literally.

24. eddiebear - June 28, 2008

21 does injustice to all people named Ed.

A better place? How is dying a better place? Or, are you one of those clowns who believes that all animals in a zoo need to be killed like those fools in Germany who wanted Knut euthanized?

25. Muslihoon - June 28, 2008

DiT: Hah! Yeah, taking her suggestion literally would seriously violate the law of chastity.

26. daveintexas - June 28, 2008

it’d violate the “dad is armed” law too pal.

27. Ed - June 28, 2008

dont worry I wont be visiting your retarded blog again, ever..

28. Lipstick - June 28, 2008

Well, on that good news theme, I’m flying to Miami tonight to meet Mr. Lipstick who is working there.

Two and a half days of sun and beach, then two days home to pack for a cruise of the Norwegian fjords.

*leaping with excitement*

I’ll keep an eye out for masturbating walri.

29. eddiebear - June 28, 2008

Ed:

nice to see you answered my question.

Oh, and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

30. Ed - June 28, 2008

go fuck yourself

31. Pupster - June 28, 2008

Ed,

You are a liar, and there is no need for that kind of language. Do you know Win. Sten. Del. spanish cat? You guys would really hit it off I think. He’s an “artist” too.

32. daveintexas - June 28, 2008

Have a great visit Lipstick. Safe travels.

33. Muslihoon - June 28, 2008

Good call-out, Pupster! I was just thinking.

I love those guys. “I’m never coming back!”

“I’m back. But never again!”

“I’m back, for the last time, I mean it!”

“I’m back…” etc.

34. Muslihoon - June 28, 2008

Sounds like so much fun, Lipstick!

I actually like the ship part of cruises more than the destinations and other activities. But that’s just me.

I so wanna go on a cruise! Maybe for my honeymoon (someday).

35. Lipstick - June 28, 2008

Thanks Dave and Musli. I’m sooooooo excited — just had to blabber.

36. BrewFan - June 28, 2008

Have fun, Lips!

37. eddiebear - June 28, 2008

good luck, LS!

38. lauraw - June 29, 2008

Have a great time, Lipstick!

39. Michael - June 29, 2008

Norway? Hey, bring back some lutefisk for us.


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