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Training To Fight The Zombie Invasion August 16, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Ducks, Economics, Entertainment, Family, Man Laws, Music, News, Personal Experiences, Travel.

Last night, my father, oldest younger sister, and I went to a local range for our local mandatory anti-zombie training. I practiced with my Mosin Nagant and my .22 Ruger.

I only fired 20 Rifle shots, and 40 Ruger shots because loading that rifle was something I had to get used to and after the two 10-round magazines that came with my Ruger were expended, I still have to learn how to load a .22 magazine quickly.

As you can see, I still need a lot of practice. But this is fun, and I want more.

Oh, and those zombies don’t stand a chance.

Pistol Shooting.

Rifle Shooting


1. BrewFan - August 16, 2008

Would you like me to edit your post?

Would you like me to edit your post?



2. eddiebear - August 16, 2008

Did I do something wrong?

3. Pupster - August 16, 2008

4. eddiebear - August 16, 2008


I think.

5. Dave in Texas - August 16, 2008

Nice. What distance?

6. eddiebear - August 16, 2008

^ the range only had 25m for pistol, and 50m for rifle, since it was indoors.

But, I think that is all the distance I’ll ever need.

7. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

Good shootin’ eddie. Just remember when the fecal matter hits the fan for real that body shots on zombies are about as effective as piano lessons for your cat. Go for the head.

8. kevlarchick - August 16, 2008

Head shots. Double tap. The zombie will not rise again.

Nice shootin eddie.

9. Dave in Texas - August 16, 2008

That’s good shootin at those distances Ed.

Those zombies are totally fucked.

10. Michael - August 16, 2008

Head shots. Double tap.

Actually, I think the generally accepted tactic for close range small arms combat is called the Mozambique Drill. The idea is that it takes three shots to reliably stop a determined attack and minimize the risk of return fire. You deliver a double tap to the thoracic cavity, to induce shock and make the attacker pause, then a head shot to drop him. More than two hits on the chest is generally ineffective, even if they will eventually be lethal. You just want your attacker to hold still for the head shot. The head shot should aim for the soft tissue around the eye/nose area, to avoid a bullet deflecting off the skull.

I read that somewhere.

11. Michael - August 16, 2008

Of course, the cardinal rule of gun fighting is that you should fire first.

12. Retired Geezer - August 16, 2008

Great shooting Eddie. You will probably win a trophy at the next IBSBP.

They make a little plastic thingy to help you load those Ruger magazines. It looks like a square donut that you insert the magazine into. You hold the magazine in one hand and push the donut down with your thumb. Works great.

13. xbradtc - August 16, 2008

There’s nothing to add to your pistol shooting. You’re good to go there. Your rifle grouping needs some work. You’re fine in the vertical plane, which tells me you mostly have your breathing down, but the horizontal dispersion indicated either trigger pull, or likely, stock-weld, which is always a problem with bolt actions. Practice mounting your rifle to your shoulder again and again, trying to get the exact same position of your cheek to the stock. See if that doesn’t tighten it a bit.

14. Retired Geezer - August 16, 2008

^ yeah, what xbradtc said.

15. eddiebearsucksass! - August 16, 2008

there wont be any zombies! eddiebear sucks!

16. eddiebear - August 16, 2008


I always had trouble zeroing. Hitting the target and the dime washer exercise was no problem.

17. eddiebear - August 16, 2008


The range fellas told us that if we did one head shot, we would get a warning. A second head shot, they would boot us out.

18. Retired Geezer - August 16, 2008

Nancy Pelosi runs a gun range?

19. Enas Yorl - August 16, 2008

I don’t get it. Why would they care what part of the target you shoot at?

20. lauraw - August 16, 2008

Redneck Yankees are a lot like their Southern brethren.


21. lauraw - August 16, 2008

frickin’ spam bucket mofo

22. Sobek - August 16, 2008

Are you serious? They tell you what parts of the target you can and can’t shoot?

And what if your aim just sucks? Only people who can hit a target get to use the range?

Did I just write a comment comprised entirely of questions?

23. Pupster - August 16, 2008

Some ranges don’t let you do head shots because that part of the target is so close to where you clip it to the target holder, which could cause a ricochet or damage the clip that holds the paper.

24. daveintexas - August 16, 2008

^ what Geezer said.

My outdoor range careth not, the indoor ones usually do.

To elaborate; lots of ranges use hangars made of heavy steel, with clippy things ttached to em. Don’t want a bullet bouncing offa those hangy things.

Also I done fished out ya comment Lauraw

25. Pupster - August 16, 2008

Well, I am wearing camo shorts, no Hawaiian shirt though.

*knocks back shot of Metamucil*

26. Michael - August 16, 2008

Actually, the clips are not a problem; they are easily replaced. They don’t want you firing at an upward angle because, near the end of the range, you could sever the cables that move the target, and this is a pain-in-the-ass repair for them. The first time I warmed up my new Kimber, I was specifically warned about this because I’m 6’4″, and they wanted me shooting vertically level or down at the target. They threatened me with a substantial bill if I dinged the cable. I was using those targets that have five bullseyes, and I was instructed to shoot the bottom three and then turn it upside down to use the other two.

27. daveintexas - August 16, 2008

Wasn’t referring to the clips, the angle iron brackets that hold em.

Bad bullet bounce. Mess up ya whole day.

28. Michael - August 16, 2008

Bad bullet bounce.

That makes sense. I don’t think my range in Ohio had any heavy metal hanging off the cable. Just aluminum. Which, if you think about it, is probably a pretty good idea.

29. daveintexas - August 16, 2008


30. Retired Geezer - August 16, 2008

Now I understand the rationale for not allowing head shots. Thanks for putting me some knowledge.

31. Retired Geezer - August 16, 2008

I was using those targets that have five bullseyes, and I was instructed to shoot the bottom three and then turn it upside down to use the other two.

Those are really the best targets to practice on. You can get a good look at your groupage and determine if you are yanking the trigger.

32. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

Eddie, I would guess that your problem with your rifle groups is that the stock trigger on the Mosin Nagant, to use a technical term among firearms afficianados, sucks ass. If you don’t mind putting a little extra jack into your rifle, you could get an aftermarket trigger for it. I know that Huber used to make a kit for the Mosin that really smoothed out the trigger pull, but I’m not sure if they’re still in business. If you go over to SurplusRifle.com, they’ve got an entire section on the Mosin Nagant rifle, with tech articles about how other people “tweaked” their rifles.

Brad’s right, in that a vertical scatter means that you’re either not holding the rifle properly, or it’s a problem with your trigger pull. Since I KNOW that the stock Mosin trigger is somewhat fucked, I’m assuming that it’s the biggest part of your problem. If the new trigger doesn’t fix the problem, we can work on tucking the stock in properly to your shoulder next time you’re on the range. The good thing about fixing the trigger is that even if that’s not the problem here, you’ll like a good trigger one hell of a lot more than the stock one.

33. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

I found the website for Huber.


I’m thinking about getting one for my Mosin carbine.

34. The Zombie - August 16, 2008

I think Russ and Brad are full of shit.

35. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

Bring it, Zed-Head. I’ll tattoo a .22 smiley face in your forehead just for fun, brain-breath.

36. The Zombie - August 16, 2008

I’m eating your cows, corn-bacondork!

37. lauraw - August 16, 2008

Fanks Dave.

38. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

Zombie themed rock ‘n roll? Yeah, we’ve got that.

OK, you wouldn’t think that the last one was about zombies…but what the hell do you think he was telling Renee to walk away from in the song? That’s right…………..Zombies! Clearly he was dealing with the traditional George Romero “slow zombies” vs. the “28 Days Later fast zombies”, or else the song would have been titled “RENEE!!!Run Like a Muthafucker!”

39. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

Another movie that was supposed to feature Clint Eastwood fighting a Zombie Lee Van Cleef, but the censors objected to the scene where Van Cleef ate some guy’s brains in a barfight, so Sergio Leone just said “Fuck it. Cut the Zombie angle. Lee, play Angel Eyes as a human, and we’ll sell the zombie footage to Tom Savini & George Romero. They’ll use it in one of their movies.”

40. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

A video from the band Zombie Nation, featuring Sobek in his best “Final Arguments” suitcoat.

41. Russ from Winterset - August 16, 2008

NOT a zombie related song, but you’ve gotta admit that if Phil Lynott had come back as a zombie, he’d be the rockin-est undead brain-eater out there.

42. Zombie Wolfman Jack - August 16, 2008

As long as you got the curves baby, I got the angles!

43. Sobek - August 16, 2008

Don’t knock the suit. That thing has won me more jury verdicts than you can imagine.

44. Sobek - August 16, 2008


45. Sobek - August 16, 2008


Last night I was driving my kids home. I called my brother and got his answering machine. So I sang (i.e. screamed) a few lines from this song, just to let him know how much I respect and value him as my sibling. When I hung up, Kidd-os #1 and #2 both said in unison, “what did you do that for!?!?” They think I’m kind of silly.

46. eddiebear - August 16, 2008

Brad & Russ:

Thanks for the tips. After reading them, I looked in the mirror at the bruise patterns on my right shoulder, and they were a little bit too much to the right and more on my shoulder proper than should be.

I have one more box of 20 of my M-N ammo to shoot. I will try a tighter shoulder action next time, and if that still doesn’t lead to a tight shot group, I will see about Russ’ suggestions when I go back to the store to get more ammo.

47. Michael - August 16, 2008

Actually, Sobek, that Cranberries song was the best zombie song ever. You should have put that on the main page. I’ll do it for you.

48. Russ from Winterset - August 17, 2008

Get a slip-on buttpad for the rifle, eddie. It makes all the difference in the world when you’ve got that big hunk of wood & steel slamming into your shoulder every shot.

Remember, the Mosin Nagant was fielded by Russia, where the soldiers at least 6 months out of the year could be wearing coats while firing it. So you’re not a pussy for getting a recoil pad.

I went to a Appleseed match last summer where I fired 180 rounds out of my Swiss K31 in about 4 hours time. My shoulder was so raw from that shooting that I switched up after Saturday and used my .357 lever action carbine for all the shooting on Sunday. Shooting a major cartridge like the 7.62x54R from a bolt action rifle is a heavy load, so be good to your shoulder and it will be good to you.

49. Russ from Winterset - August 17, 2008

I can’t believe that I left White Zombie off my list. I always liked “Welcome to Planet Mother*&^%er” better than “Thunder Kiss”, but they’re all good.

50. eddiebear - August 17, 2008


I will go to the store soon and get one.

51. Russ from Winterset - August 17, 2008

Do it. You can see what 20 rounds without one can do to your shoulder. If you’ve got masochistic urges, there are more enjoyable ways to work them out than battering your shoulder into hamburger with a 100 year old rifle.

52. Russ from Winterset - August 17, 2008

When you go to the store, don’t just get the cheapo PVC slip on buttpad that you’ll see first. Get one that’s leather, or at least “pleather”, and one that has a strap to cinch it up when you fit it to the rifle. When you’re peering downrange at a target using those antiquated sights, the last thing you want is your rifle squirming against your shoulder like a gerbil anxiously straining to get out of Andy Sullivan’s rectum. A solid fit against your shoulder means you’ll have a stable sight picture, and it translates into more hits.

I learned this the hard way, and I’ve got a couple cheapo slip on buttpads in a drawer downstairs that I’m gonna pawn off on someone next time I go to the range.

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