jump to navigation

Thomas Doerflein, German Zookeeper Who Raised Knut, Found Dead in Apt September 23, 2008

Posted by daveintexas in News.

No cause of death mentioned.  He was 44.




1. Russ from Winterset - September 23, 2008

Wow, little Knut’s stealing dude’s packet of beef jerky….LIKE A VIKING!

2. BrewFan - September 23, 2008

No cause of death mentioned

Probably ran out of beef jerky. I’m just sayin’…

3. eddiebear - September 23, 2008

How will Mesa and Pinto react?

4. skinbad - September 23, 2008

44-year-olds shouldn’t be dropping dead. I’m very serious about this.

5. Horatio Caine - September 23, 2008

I guess he couldn’t bear life any more.

{puts on sunglasses}


6. BrewFan - September 23, 2008


7. skinbad - September 23, 2008

He’s not alive.

puts on sunglasses

He’s the polar opposite.


8. BrewFan - September 23, 2008

These puns are getting a little grizzly…

9. lauraw - September 23, 2008

It isn’t the first time someone so young has died.

*slides on shades*

And it is knut the last.


10. lauraw - September 23, 2008

Can’t believe I resorted to typing such awful punnery.

Anybody want to take turns crushing my fingers in a vise? Be a shame not to share it, and I need somebody to do righty.

No, wait, I can turn the handle with my elbow. Hah! All for me, suckers!

11. daveintexas - September 23, 2008

She turned me into a Knut.

But I got better.


Knuton’s 3rd Law: For every action there is a polar and opposite action.

(I love puns. It is a weakness)

12. Mrs Peel - September 23, 2008

On the topic of Germans, I’m reading Harry Potter und der Gefangene von Askaban. In the English version, the character Percy becomes Head Boy. He gets a bit pompous about it, so when he asks why the Ministry of Magic “are” providing cars to transport the kids to Kings Cross (it’s to protect Harry), his brothers Fred and George say, “It’s because of you, Perce. And the cars will have little flags on the hoods with HB on them…for Humongous Bighead.”

The translator didn’t even try to render that joke (i.e., that Head Boy and Humongous Bighead have the same initial letters) in German.

The German equivalent of Head Boy is Schulsprecher.

I’ll let you connect the dots.

13. xbradtc - September 23, 2008

You’re reading Harry Potter in German? I thought I was cutting edge reading the English version (as opposed to American). What the hell is wrong with you?

14. Barb the Evil Genius - September 23, 2008

I have several of the Hitchhiker’s books, in German. I’ve never bothered to try to work my way through them, though. I will say that the phrase “wedge of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick” does not translate well.

15. Cuffy Meigs - September 23, 2008

Doerflein came from a broken home. His childhood was like the movie Kramer ursus Kramer.

16. daveintexas - September 23, 2008

heh. I can’t bear anymore Cuffs

17. Goldilocks - September 23, 2008

This body is too cold.

18. daveintexas - September 23, 2008

It looks like he was ice-capped

19. Papa Berenstain - September 23, 2008

He was a bearist I tell ya.

20. daveintexas - September 23, 2008

Would that his Stearn-ness could have precluded this furball

21. eddiebear - September 23, 2008

I have no further comment

22. daveintexas - September 23, 2008

It gives me paws to consider. I feel as if his life is bruined.

23. Wickedpinto - September 23, 2008


We all know that knut snuck out, hunted down the fucker who stopped giving him jerky, so Knut decided to try a home recipe he learned from his mom before being abandoned.

The recipe knut was operating off of was “Meat, teeth and screeming.”

24. daveintexas - September 23, 2008

unclear on the concept

25. Anonymous - September 24, 2008

Reading these comments prooves once again to me that Americans are idiots. Too bad you’re more interested in punning than finding out what a tragedy Doerflein’s death is. I guess you’ll have to lose someone you love in order to understand and appreciate.

26. BrewFan - September 24, 2008

Anonymous, you’re welcome to your opinion. We bear you no ill will.

27. eddiebear - September 24, 2008

Bear in mind, that #25 must Knut be from this country.

28. skinbad - September 24, 2008

Might not be an adult either, probably just a cub.

29. eddiebear - September 24, 2008

Now, will this Cub also be on a 100 year losing streak?

30. BrewFan - September 24, 2008

I’m sure Anonymous now knows we don’t panda to Europeans around these parts!

31. eddiebear - September 24, 2008

Watch out. Things could get grizzly around here.

32. Dave in Texas - September 24, 2008

Anonymous! I’m so tore up about Thomas’ death. I just hope he gots himself that big pic-a-nic basket in the sky, you know?

33. Mrs Peel - September 24, 2008

I kinda sympathize with anonymous. On the one hand, I think it would be neat to have my death commemorated with terrible puns, but on the other, I’m not exactly normal, and this thread is a bit heartless.

Maybe anonymous and I are meant for each other. Hey anon, what’s ursine?

34. Dave in Texas - September 24, 2008

awwww, don’t fret now Peely. You’re Doerflein.

35. geoff - September 24, 2008

Anon obviously didn’t read the “License for Irreverence” claws in the blogging contract. If he had, den he wouldn’t have had pawblem.

36. Dave in Texas - September 24, 2008

urso major

37. doc - September 25, 2008

this thread is unbearable

38. Pupster - September 25, 2008

Maybe, in deference to anonymous commenters who are obviously devastated by this tragic news, we should refrain from making such polar-izing statements.

39. Wickedpinto - September 27, 2008

Is it okay if I summarize the IB attitude to #25?

If I may, let me offer this bit of wisdom to anonymous.

I’m sure you care a great deal about a lot of things, but after amish’s mother was eaten by a rabid scorpion, the russerts had to defend their newborn child against an angry black bear, the Sobeks, defeated a multi-tenticled old god, I think you don’t know what you are talking about.

Later, while gustav was ravaging the texas shore, all the Ibers, and hostages and others banded together to defeat zeus himself. The battle was a draw, but even Zeus said “well fought. . . .Well Fought.”

So Anonymous?

I have testicles.

No really I do,
and they are in a pouch of flesh, often refered to as a sac.

and You can lick them.

40. Wickedpinto - September 27, 2008

ACK, not the “russerts” but “the wintersets.”


I tanked a perfectly good riff with one stupid typo.

41. HAiley - March 20, 2010

I hope he isnt I bet Knut is sad

Sorry comments are closed for this entry

%d bloggers like this: