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African Lodge Has Some Unique Guests October 4, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Economics, Entertainment, History, Lurkers, Man Laws, News, Travel.
Tags: , ,

I have always wanted to go on a safari to Africa. One of my wife’s cousins and her husband went to the Serengeti on their honeymoon, and the pictures they took next to some gigantic hippo pool are some of the greatest shots I have ever seen.

But, I think the most intriguing place to visit has to be the Mfuwe Lodge in Zambia in November as the mango trees ripen. The reason for that claim comes from the fact that a herd of elephants walk through the hotel grounds to eat from their favorite tree, which happens to be on the grounds of the hotel.

Now the family group, headed by matriarch Wonky Tusk, return every November to gorge on mangos – up to four times a day.

Andy Hogg, 44, director at the Bushcamp Company that runs the Lodge, has lived in South Luangwa National Park since 1982.

But in all his years of dealing with wild animals he has never seen such intimate interaction between man and beast.

‘This is the only place in the world where elephants freely get so close to humans,’ says the 44-year-old.

‘The elephants start coming through base camp in late November of each year to eat the mangos from our trees.

‘When they are ripe they come through and they stand about for four to six weeks coming back each day or second day to eat the mangos.’

Living in the 5,000 square mile national park, the ten-strong elephant herd are led to the lodge each day by Wonky Tusk.

I just hope no mice run through the hotel as the elephants pass through.


1. kevlarchick - October 4, 2008

I’d hate to be on poop scooping duty.

2. the Dung Beetle - October 4, 2008


3. Barry in CO - October 4, 2008

Add this to your bucket list.

I want to see the Northern Lights, a total solar eclipse, and Australia before I take a big bite of Egg McMagnum.

4. BrewFan - October 4, 2008

hahaha KC! That was my first thought too!

5. Mr Minority - October 4, 2008

That’s nothing! I saw a big ol’ herd of elephants run through a mall just to get first dibs on sale items at Lane Bryant!!

6. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

There’s a lot of open space in that room.

7. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008


It’s not like there’s an elephant in the room.

8. Michael - October 4, 2008

I want to see the Northern Lights . . .

That’s awesome. We saw them by accident in the wee hours of the morning while driving through the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in the winter. We were on our way to Wisconsin, to visit Cathy’s brother and attend the baptism of my godson.

The colored curtains of light were really spectacular. This was totally unexpected. Initially, I just noticed that the pavement was illuminated, with no oncoming headlights, so I pulled over to figure out what was going on. We stepped out, and it was an unforgettable experience.

I know I’ve told this story before, but I’m old enough to be allowed to repeat myself.

By way of comparison, Australia is not that awesome. It’s good, but not awesome. If you are going to fly that distance, go to New Zealand. That’s awesome.

Eclipses are pretty boring, in my opinion.

9. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

The midnight sun was pretty cool.

Have dinner, have a drink or cigar and go out at midnight and it’s still light out. Messes with your sleeping patterns, though.

10. Michael - October 4, 2008

The midnight sun was pretty cool.

See, Lipstick, you and I have this travel snobbery competition going on, and you just beat me.

Well, maybe not. I’ve never seen the midnight sun. The best I’ve managed is 11:00+ p.m. twilight in Stockholm’s Old Town, about two days from the summer solstice. I arrived in Stockholm flying east from St. Louis.

Plus, this was a free business trip, and my next stop was Bangkok, and from there home going further east through California (flying over Russia and China during the Cold War), so I actually circumnavigated the globe on a single business trip.

(Heh. Top that, smarty-pants.)

11. the Dung Beetle - October 4, 2008

I sawr the northern lights in Maine in 1985.

And I sawr the midnight sun n of Anchorage in 1986. An ice fog too. Odd stuff that.

12. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Heh. Top that, smarty-pants.

I flew from Singapore to Los Angeles. The long way around.

13. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

On a pleasure trip.

14. Michael - October 4, 2008


Heck with that, Dave. You’ve seen the Fourth of July Parade in downtown Belton, Texas.

It can’t get better than that.

(Michael remembers everything.)

15. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Do dung beetles even have eyes?

16. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Though I don’t know why I’d be bragging about doing such a long flight for pleasure.

17. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Could my avatar be any more boring?

18. Michael - October 4, 2008

I flew from Singapore to Los Angeles. The long way around.

That is not circumnavigation, Miss Smarty Pants. That is pole-hopping. You kinda skipped the Pacific Ocean. That was just bad planning.

19. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Agreed. The cruise line came up with that gem.

20. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Michael, question for you:

Is it crazy to fly to Australia/New Zealand in coach?

I’m in a little travel dilemma between a great cruise line and coach air or a fairly good cruise line and business class.

21. Dave in Texas - October 4, 2008

yes. crazy.

go bus class.

22. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

I’ve seen the southern cross.

And Steven Stills is really full of shit.

Pretty lame.

23. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008


17 hours, On a plane, with variable altitudes (dodging the jetstream)

SUCKS!!! Brushing your teeth 3 or 4 times, when the sink dribbles out about 2 drops of water per minute.

Only thing that makes that plane remotely cool is if you can find a commercial buyer, who you can make out with, and will give you a blow/hand job.

Though, virtually noone wants to make the flight, so coach is just as good as first class. All the legspace you want.

24. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

I want to do that. And I also want the great cruise line with fewer passengers, all inclusive, champagne at all hours, liberal smoking policy, etc.

*Plotting ways to have it all*

25. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

er, I was responding to Dave.

I really don’t want a blow job.

26. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Though I hear it’s nice.

27. Dave in Texas - October 4, 2008

it doesn’t suck.

oh wait.

28. Lipstick - October 4, 2008


29. Michael - October 4, 2008

I’m in a little travel dilemma between a great cruise line and coach air or a fairly good cruise line and business class.

Coach to New Zealand is gonna hurt. You might want to dip into the trust fund to avoid that.

30. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

I’ll take yours lipstick.

31. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

my what?

32. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

oh, I get it now. Just as I hit send. OK, if a good-looking stranger on a plane offers me a blow job, I will send him/her your way, Pinto.

33. Michael - October 4, 2008

my what?

Dumbest IB question ever.

WP, don’t answer.

34. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Yes, Sir.

35. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

You might want to dip into the trust fund to avoid that.

It’s just a little slush fund. Real little. Pin money.

36. Michael - October 4, 2008

Thank you, WP.

37. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Pins made out of tin. None of that fancy stainless steel.

38. Michael - October 4, 2008

Pins made out of tin. None of that fancy stainless steel.

See, Lipstick, that’s just not working. I cleverly suckered you into admitting that you have a trust fund, which you had not previously disclosed, and now you are desperately trying to backpedal in order to deny your fabulous, coddled lifestyle.

Next thing is that you’re going to tell us about how your first husband ripped off all your earnings as an international supermodel, and left you penniless.

Not. Buying. It.

Fly first class to New Zealand. Learn to live with the fact that you are the kind of person us working class stiffs envy and hate.

39. Mrs. Peel - October 4, 2008

I’ve never flown first class in my life. But then, I typically fly Southwest, so that probably explains it.

40. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Only just now, did this part of the article register in my head.

Living in the 5,000 square mile national park, the ten-strong elephant herd are led to the lodge each day by Wonky Tusk.

So every year the herd comes in, and “Wonky Tusk” says “What about Dingle/Norwood?”

41. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

I don’t have a trust fund. Wish I did.

42. Michael - October 4, 2008

I read somewhere that elephant herds are matriarchal. In fact, it may have been one of those books we read when we still had a book-of-the-month club going.

43. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Me too lipstick. Me too.


44. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

They Might be Matriarchial in that the leader tends to be female, but they aren’t like wolf packs, where the female is the harem leader.

Saw a cool ass docu on. . . .I wanna say Discovery, but I think it was Learning Channel, might have been Animal planet, where an elephant got cought in a bunch of vines (yeah vines, not one of those humans are evil things) and it was the leader of the herd, don’t know if it was a male or female.

And the whole heard came to the trapped elephants rescue, slamming into the tree, and pushing at the vines, and the trapped elephant, and basicaly the whole docu was about exactly how complexly elephants internal social attitudes are.

Really an interesting view.

You see and hear this elephant braying into the sky, and all of it’s friends trying to help it out.

There is something about elephants, like dolphins and the great apes. I don’t know how anyone can kill them.

Also heard, in the same docu, I think, about how, one of the way’s people are able to find elephants is by frequenting the area’s where other elephants have been killed/poached, cuz Elephants tend to come back and visit those places.

Elephants ain’t like food animals, they are something different.

45. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Oh, Michael, Mr. Working Class Stiff. Right.

2 gazillion miles on American and flies first class all the time. Lives in a palace. Has a pool, two grills and two dishwashers, tons of servants and a hot wife.

And me with my widow’s mite tucked safely under the mattress.

46. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Also Elephants, unlike most other herbivores, are aggressive defenders. They don’t flee if one of theirs is hurt,they charge.

47. Wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Lives in a palace.

Designed by one of the gayest men on earth.

48. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

Well, yeah, there’s that.

49. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

I did get bumped up to first class once years ago and got to sit next the reigning Miss Universe. She was very nice. Now she’s married to the former president of Argentina, the dude with the sideburns.

50. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

No Blowjob?

51. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Miss Universe is not a giver.

52. Dave in Texas - October 4, 2008

3 grills I think.

a lot.

53. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

I don’t care how many, that Big ass smoker, is just NICE!
Puking lions, not so much, actually kinda disturbing, I have nightmares, and I’ve never been in the pool.

54. Michael - October 4, 2008

tons of servants

Paul the Ancient Hippie Handyman came with the house, and he is kind of a mixed blessing.

55. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Like Laslo from Murphy Brown Michael? (not laslo, that’s “Real Genius” who’s the guy from Murphy Brown?)

56. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Another funny thing, about the IBSBP.

“Is the roast gonna be okay if we go shooting?” Michael asked.
“I’m sure cathy can handle it.”
“I’m cooking the roast.”

I swear to god I never saw michael leave the fucking table.

57. Michael - October 4, 2008

Josh the pool guy is going to get fired. He ignored an algae bloom.

Ferdie the yard guy is OK, as is Gilbert the HVAC guy, Kevin the pool tech, and Duane the sprinkler doc.

I did not actually hire these people. They just showed up.

58. Lipstick - October 4, 2008

hehehehe, no, Miss Universe was not a giver.

She had a bodyguard, but he traveled coach.

59. Michael - October 4, 2008

“I’m cooking the roast.”

If you recall, I did that roast in Mr. Lamm’s Genuine Texas Heavy Metal Barbecue, and it was perfect.

60. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008


“I’m cooking the roast. but there you are sitting on your ass like the rest of us guys, drinking OJ or whatever you were drinking (not booze yet, I think) eating melon, talking about how YOU are cooking!!!

Meanwhile Cathy and good lady geezer are sweating over the stove, and the cutting board, and the kitchen sink, and you just toss out.

“I’m cooking the roast.”

Like it was an effort!

61. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Yeah, thats the smoker I was talking about.

62. wickedpinto - October 4, 2008

Even Mrs. Winterset, who was VERY PREGNANT! did more in preparing the roast than you did!!

She prepped the rub, applied the rub and said, “no, let it rest a minute.”

Then she rubbed again.

Okay, thats kinda hot.

But anyWAYS!

“I’m cooking the roast.”

Only thing you didn’t do to be the stereotypical man was burp and fart.

63. eddiebear - October 4, 2008

^That’s what true skill is all about.

64. Michael - October 5, 2008

Like it was an effort!

It’s a Texas Zen thing, WP. You would not understand. You have to meditate and drink beer while the wimmens work if you want the BBQ to come out right.

65. Michael - October 5, 2008

Plus, I did actually walk outside and throw chunks of wood in there every few hours. That was work.

66. wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

I forgot the comedian, he said “I learned to do laundry when I was in college, so that while I was getting drunk watching the game, and my girlfriend called me lazy I could say ‘I’m DOING THE FUCKING LAUNDRY!!!'”

67. wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Were you able to recover michael?

Didn’t throw a disc or anything?

68. eddiebear - October 5, 2008

Dodgers Win!!!! Cubs suck again!! How’s that curse going!!

69. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008


Mike? You hit Mesa High, I’ll hit him low. Eddie you get anything he can hang himself with.

Peel! You Cuff him (yeah, like we buy that nice girl crap, you know you wanna cuff him)

Cathy, just punch him once or twice, for general purposes.



70. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Everyone else can punch him too, we are just trying to keep him from killing himself.

71. Michael - October 5, 2008

Mike? You hit Mesa High, I’ll hit him low.

You seem to be very interested in aiming at Mesa’s crotch. Just sayin’.

72. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

I’m just too fat to jump.

73. eddiebear - October 5, 2008

Is this the suicide prevention hotline?

74. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

BTW, the whole “fat girls give the best head” thing?



Not true at all.

Though they love, lazy sex, which is ALL COOL!

But everyonce in a while I wanna toss in some cool ass ninja acrobatics stuff, so I prefer hot chicks, who tend to LOVE chickenheading.

75. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

The cubs got sweapt eddie.

76. eddiebear - October 5, 2008

^I know. Awesome!

77. eddiebear - October 5, 2008

78. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Okay, GEEZER!!!

since Eddie is unreliable, you get the right foot, Skinbad, I know you are a tough guy (I have no doubt he is,) you get the right, and the rest of the dangerous objects.


KC!!! Show him your breasts. Just cuz. . . really, we all really wanna see your breasts.

SOBEK!!! Talk about Con LAW!! It’s against the law, or is it?, for us to use sedatives.



79. Michael - October 5, 2008

I’m just too fat to jump.

Aw, WP, I think it’s time for you to let Mesa know how you really feel about him.

“Lovin’ might be a mistake worth making.”

WP, I Hope You Dance.

In fact, I’m going to put up a post for you and Mesa right now.

80. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Pups, you get to gag him.

You know you want to., admit it.

81. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

MoZ, the Silent hostage HATED! the fact I that, at that time, I could dance.


82. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Actually, while MoZ, the Silent Hostage, loved me, hated damn near everything about me, in public.

“You were so shit hot, you knew it, I hated that! I like you better fat, hell, I hope you piss yourself!”

Not cuz she is vindictive, but cuz she wants to be the only one who loves me.

I REALLY fucked up that time.

83. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008


A 17 hour plane flight with MoZ!!

How many laws would we break?

I know it would be a lot, I just don’t know wich ones.

84. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

She’s hornier than I am, especially now.

I don’t even know if the fucking plane would land in one piece.

85. Michael - October 5, 2008

WP, help me out. Is MoZ that abo chick you dated?

Does she lurk at The Hostages?

Good grief, does she lurk here?

*Micheal checks for Austalian IP addresses*

86. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Nah, she got REALY PISSED at me. not likely she’s lurking, but yeah.

MoZ/T is the abo girlfriend.

87. Michael - October 5, 2008

Our last 100 hits don’t have anybody closer to Australia than Indonesia or the Phillipines, so I think you’re OK venting here.

88. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

The one built like a porn star, the one who BADOW BADOW BADOW!!! She’s in her thirties now, bt still one hot ass broad.

89. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Oh, she likes me doing this stuff actually. it’s “flattering” kinda like me saying that thing I said about cathy, only more so.

She’s pissed off at me for other reasons.

90. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Like not nutsing up.

91. xbradtc - October 5, 2008

For dancing with Mesa? Little controlling isn’t she?

92. Michael - October 5, 2008

As you know, WP, I’ve seen Mesa, and he is one good-looking guy. In fact, he is a hunk. You should not beat yourself up about that. Lots of young men fall for someone like Mesa.

93. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008


Do you wanna fuck mesa?

94. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Other than sobek, who is young, so he is an unfair comparisson.

Yeah, Mesa, is the best looking of us.

He is also, I won’t bash him, I will just explain it in the best terms I know.

He’s an OFFICER.

Thats his natural form of interaction.

Once always, it’s a hard habbit to kick.

95. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Now Sobek is a good looking guy! hell, he looks like 5 years younger than he is, and his wife, is such a sarcastic sweety, even though she might not know she is a sarcastic sweety, which makes both her and sobek even more awesome!!!

96. Michael - October 5, 2008

Mike? Do you wanna fuck mesa?

Hey, just bring him to the next IBSBP, and let’s see what happens.

97. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Sobeks obsession with Con law, made me think sobek was like you mike. OLD WORN OUT, DECREPIT, DRUNK AND LAZY, but UNLIKE you, he was young (younger than me) and vibrant.

He actually believes what he says, When did he learn that? Really?

His wife was adorable, and basicaly she was the body guard from “My Body Guard” the movie, when it came to Sobek.

What a SWEET couple, I would say the same about the Skinny’s, but they shoot like they are fucking members of masada.

98. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Who was it who asked us?

Since me and Mesa showed up together, one of you asked me, “so are you and Mesa fucking?”

I THINK it was pup, but,

No, Mesa is a true friend, who I met on the net. You guys are also friends, but Mesa and I have a common history, even if it isn’t with eachother.

99. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

In fact, I think that part of the reason us guys got along so well, is because, well, almost all of us are command types.

Some are command types due to current occupation, and some of us are command types by personality.

Example, the personality commanders are most DEF!!! me and Geezer, and pups, pups is more subtle.

Guy can run a room, so can I, I was better at it, but I’m not a red haired Irish piece of scum. SCREW THE IRISH!!!

the rest of you generaly were the normal every day commanders.

Calm, aloof, and only saying what you want to say when you choose to say it.

But when caught offguard, like. . .comments about your sister.

You soften.

100. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

No offense Russ, I think Russ was the only one who wasn’t a command type, but really?

Who cares?

Russ? you are AWESOME!!! and your wife? she was queen sweety! If it wasn’t Michaels place, and your wife wasn’t so pregnant, SHE would have ruled the roost.

Janice right?

Good lady winterset was so fucking nice, that she REDEFINED nice.

101. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Why can I view pretty much any song from youtube.

But to listen to OTR, I have to struggle?

102. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008


I don’t know if you guys know, I”m an OTR guy, Old Time Radio, as in Radio theater.

Oddly enough this one works in terms of the Title, as well as my opinion about animals. I really feel bad, no, really I do, I Feel bad eating cows, BUT THEY ARE NUMMY!!!!

I don’t care if they can pass the LSATS!!!


But I kinda feel bad about it.

103. Wickedpinto - October 5, 2008

Dear Cows,

I really hope you are not a cognizant species, but do you realize you taste AWESOME!!!

Love eating you,

104. The Cows - October 5, 2008

Well, gee, thanks.

No, wait!

105. Cathy - October 5, 2008

I just read this whole thread.

What a party.

106. skinbad - October 6, 2008

WP doesn’t just run the room, he runs the thread. I’ve been laughing for the last 20 comments.


107. Wickedpinto - October 7, 2008

Lets not include the The Swiss

This might turn into a flamecentric scandi thread.

108. Wickedpinto - October 7, 2008


Onetime I showed one of my tirades against the Irish.

Mom thought it was funny, then I showed her blogidaho, and she saw Geezer.

Mom is conflicted.

109. Wickedpinto - October 8, 2008

I still don’t get the picture!?!?! where is the 800 pound Gorrilla?

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