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Technology Made Me Miss Mass October 27, 2008

Posted by Retired Geezer in Man Laws, Science.

Ok, it wasn’t ‘Mass’, it was just plain-old non-Lutheran church, but that title doesn’t have quite the alliteration that the present title does.

On to the story.

We have one of those fancy high-tech clock radios that has 2 separate alarms for 2 different radio stations, even weekday and weekend alarms. The best feature is, it automatically changes the time when Daylight Savings Time rolls around so I don’t have to. It used to work just dandy. That is, until the morons in Congress changed the start and end days for DST.

In 2005, Reps. Edward J. Markey of Massachusetts and Fred Upton of Michigan drafted legislation that would extend daylight-saving time nationwide. Congress approved the amendment, which called for clocks to be sprung forward three weeks earlier in the spring and one week later in the fall. The change went into effect in 2007.

Apparently the microchip in my clock hasn’t gotten the memo because it keeps setting the time back, one week early in the fall and 3 weeks later in the spring.

When 2am Sunday morning rolled around, my clock backed up the time to 1am. Later when the alarm went off at 7am, it was really 8am in the Spud State. Fortunately we realized it before we drove 20 miles to church. Since we missed the first service, we casually got ready and went to the later service.

I looked on the Intertube to see if there was a way I could reeducate my clock in the error of its ways. No Joy.

My clock was built before anyone had even thought of changing the duration of DST, therefore, there is no way to reeducate it. I could buy a new clock that’s programmable for that feature but the old one works fine and I don’t want to spend an extra $100 until I see who wins the election. I might need that money for bibles or ammo or something.

Yes, it’s a pain in the patootie to remember to change it 4 times a year… “Four times a year, Geezer?”

  1. Advance it one hour in the fall when it erroneously retards it a week early.
  2. Retard it one hour when it forgets to do it at the proper time.
  3. Advance it one hour in the spring when it fails to advance it on its own.
  4. Retard it one hour when it advances it on the ‘regular’ date.

Oh and by the way, DST doesn’t save any energy, in fact it cost the residents of one state an extra 8.6 million dollars due to such reasons as “heaters being on earlier in the morning and air conditioning units being on longer in the afternoon”.

Here’s an interesting site that has all sorts of anecdotes about Daylight Savings Time:

Did you know that DST confusion caused 3 terrorists to blow themselves up instead of their intended targets, two busloads of people?

Did you know that some guy used DST to get out of the Draft?

Did you know that there are riots at some bars by followers of the AoS ™ Lifestyle, during the DST switch?

Well, that’s all I got.

All together class; Spring Forward – Fall Back!


1. Pupster - October 27, 2008


After I read the headline, I was worried you had took advantage of advances in plastic surgery and were moving to Massachusetts to enter the Miss America pageant.

Eh. That was a long way to go for a lame joke. PITHY FAIL!

2. Retired Geezer - October 27, 2008

lol, it’s interesting to see how your mind works, Pups.

*sends note to Michael: investigate Pupster’s Hard Drive after the LM ™.

3. Cathy - October 27, 2008

Pretty Pic, Geezer.

Your Bibles and Ammo remark got a snigger outta me.

Been thinking about you guys a lot.

4. Retired Geezer - October 27, 2008

We’re hoping we can make it to the next IBSBP.

It’s been beautiful weather for blowing out sprinks. Should start freezing in a week or two.

5. sandy burger - October 27, 2008

Modernity misled man, modifying morning mission. Despite disinformation, DST delayed, didn’t deny, deity’s due.

Great. Now I hate myself.

6. skinbad - October 27, 2008

We’ve got a bell tower on campus. It’s having the same problem. An old English prof told me he told every new college president that 50% of their job was making sure the bell tower and the water fountain stayed in working order. There’s some truth to that.

7. Dave in Texas - October 27, 2008

1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.

3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard. [a]

4 Their voice [b] goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,

5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.

That is a beautiful pic RG. Thanks brothaman.

(passage from Psalms 19).

8. skinbad - October 27, 2008

It is a nice pic. R.G. should do a calendar with power pole pictures.

9. Michael - October 27, 2008

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

For many millennia, mankind has looked to the sky and apprehended the presence of God. It’s what theologians call “natural revelation.” In our heads, an ordered cosmos demands a creator. Thus, globally, there have been cults that were fascinated by the sun and moon and stars, and worshiped them. I’ve seen their dedication from Stonehenge to Mesa Verde to Chichen Itza. Astronomy was central to the theology of ancient cultures which are important in the Bible, from Egypt to Babylon.

They made the fundamental mistake of confusing the creation with the creator.

Still, the fact remains that the skies declare the glory of God. It’s an intuitive recognition that appalls the scientific cynics, never mind that their universe of random forces cannot explain the sky they see. Increasingly, physics is having to deal with the fact that the universe is not chaos.

Big Bang my ass. That’s just a dodge. Who lit the fuse?

10. Michael - October 28, 2008

it was just plain-old non-Lutheran church

If you went to a real Lutheran church, where Pure Lutheran Doctrine™ is preached, maybe you could get DST straight.

11. Retired Geezer - October 28, 2008

Big Bang my ass. That’s just a dodge. Who lit the fuse?

We’re attending a 13 week, 1 hour video presentation, The Truth Project. That pretty much sums up the last week’s program.

12. PattyAnn - October 28, 2008

“Your Bibles and Ammo remark got a snigger outta me.”


13. Wickedpinto - October 28, 2008

The Big Bang is a creation myth taught in science classes.

I thought we were opposed to creation myths being taught in science classes. (by “we” I meant the all knowing atheists who are scientists because they don’t believe in god.)

14. Dave in Texas - October 28, 2008

>>Big Bang my ass. That’s just a dodge. Who lit the fuse?

my chli did. And the bang thereof was great indeed.

15. Wickedpinto - October 28, 2008

Is that your afterburner recipe?

16. Retired Geezer - October 28, 2008

Is that your afterburner recipe?

As prepared diligently by Michael and Cathy.

17. Retired Geezer - October 28, 2008

I forgot to commend Sandy Burger at #5, it was priceless.

18. BrewFan - October 28, 2008

We’re attending a 13 week, 1 hour video presentation, The Truth Project. That pretty much sums up the last week’s program.

I went through it and am now leading it. Excellent reaffirmation of the Christian world view.

19. BrewFan - October 28, 2008

Also, Del Tackett was born in Texas but actually grew up in Idaho.

Now you know.

20. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

Crassly moving to the secular, do you guys know that to fly to Australia in business class it costs $1,000 an hour?

I think we’ll slum it in economy. Sheesh.

21. BrewFan - October 28, 2008

do you guys know that to fly to Australia in business class it costs $1,000 an hour?

WTH! Does that include a ‘happy ending’?

22. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

No, but it should.

Dave and Michael are all “Go Business Class”. Holy crap!

23. BrewFan - October 28, 2008

Well, they’re rich. Don’t listen to them.

24. Michael - October 28, 2008

Australia is fun but overrated, in my opinion. Skip it. If you’re going to pay that much to fly that far without a cigarette, New Zealand is a way better destination. Go south. We got off the plane in Auckland, picked up a car, and took a ferry to Nelson. From there we did B&Bs going south on the west coast of the South Island, along the sea side of the Southern Alps, down to the fjords. It was spectacular — one of our best trips ever. The Southern Alps are the most stunning vertical rise from sea level to glaciers that you can see on this planet.

In New Zealand, you can have fun by making insulting remarks about the French. They don’t like them. I think I posted a comment once about the French mining a Greenpeace ship in Auckland’s harbor, so I won’t repeat it. It’s an appalling story of French arrogance and trade pressure, and the New Zealanders were still pissed about it when we were there. I got a couple of beers bought for me by making derogatory remarks about the French.

25. Michael - October 28, 2008

Well, they’re rich. Don’t listen to them.

*opens Quicken*

*closes Quicken*


Brew, did you know there’s this economic crisis going on?

26. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

We’re starting in New Zealand and will spend most of the time there, then 2 stops in Tasmania and then Melbourne and Sydney.

We will be happy to dis the French, thanks for the tip!

27. Michael - October 28, 2008

Tasmania is cool! It’s very rural, and has this rolling landscape with all manner of trees from the eucalyptus family that is very striking.

Melbourne has more good food than any place I have ever been. You can go inland from there and see Fern Gully and the wine country.

The main tourist thing in Sydney is The Rocks — an historic district that is the site of the original penal colony (erm, “colonial settlement”). It’s pretty interesting.

28. Lipstick - October 28, 2008


A friend tells me that the local beer in Tasmania is excellent. That is the extent of my research so far.

29. Mrs Peel - October 28, 2008

Is Mr. Throbbing Stick going with you this time, LS, or is it another family trip?

Can’t wait to see your pictures.

30. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

Penal colony

*snort, giggle*

31. Michael - October 28, 2008

There is also casino gambling, but forget that and get out to the small towns, stop in a pub, and insult the French.

32. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

It’s a family trip, but this time my sister and I will have our own cabin and Dad will have his own. No more ass cream next to our toothpaste and no more not sleeping because of the loud snoring.

There was a half price sale and we grabbed it.

33. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

get out to the small towns, stop in a pub, and insult the French

Dang Michael, you’re a man after my own heart.

34. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

That was beautiful.

35. Michael - October 28, 2008

Lipstick, you should travel with Cathy and me. We would have a hoot. Let me know if you want a guided tour of Belize. We’ll get you dancing in some ramshackle Garifuna town.

36. Mrs Peel - October 28, 2008

Our professor was talking about a picket fence filter today, but he pronounced the i kind of like a long e, and then proceeded to draw the most phallic-looking picket fence I have ever seen. I had a lot of difficulty not giggling.

Aw, but toothpaste next to the ass cream presents so many possibilities!

37. Michael - October 28, 2008

OK, I’m just kidding about dancing with the Garifuna. They are dirty dancers. Especially Margaret in Seine Bight, who likes to turn her back to you, bend over, and grind her (ample) ass into your groin. Margaret sorta expects you to push back.

This sort of dancing may be a bit much for a delicate heiress such as yourself, Lipstick.

38. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

Lipstick, you should travel with Cathy and me. We would have a hoot.

I could totally see that and it would be a blast.

Someday we should arrange an IB cruise with a special group rate.

39. TattooedIntellectual - October 28, 2008

If you’re driving in NZ make sure to pay very close attn to the road rules, people turning left have right away.

And yeah Michael, after that description of a “vacation”, I’m not buying the “not rich” meme 🙂

40. TattooedIntellectual - October 28, 2008

Dude, right away=right of way.

And given the way my head is not connected to reality today. Really double-check that advice. You know what, maybe you should just ignore it.

41. Michael - October 28, 2008

Someday we should arrange an IB cruise with a special group rate.

Actually, what might be fun and affordable for many IBers is a Mississippi Riverboat cruise. I’ve heard good things about this. Cathy and I were talking about doing it, but we got transferred out of St. Louis before it happened.

42. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

Delicate heiress my butt. We’re flying Economy.

43. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

A riverboat cruise would be fantastic!

44. Mrs Peel - October 28, 2008

I read a blog post a while back in which a blogger was discussing what it means to be rich. She said she knew a guy who had his investments set up to give him about 40k per year, which is enough to live on where he lives. So he’s in his 30s and the only work he has to do is make phone calls about his investments while he relaxes by the pool. Meanwhile, she also knows a couple that make well over six figures together, but they are in debt and live paycheck to paycheck because they have an enormous house, fancy luxury cars, and all kinds of fripperies for the kids. So, who’s really “rich”?

Anyway, I’d like to be rich, but I don’t think it’s going to happen on my salary, so now I’m hoping to make my fortune by marriage.

1. Meet a rich guy
2. ???
3. Profit!

45. Michael - October 28, 2008

And yeah Michael, after that description of a “vacation”, I’m not buying the “not rich” meme

We get to Belize with my frequent flier miles, and the country itself has a relatively underdeveloped tourist industry and is pretty affordable, especially if you give up bourbon and drink the local rum.

You’re right that you must be careful driving in NZ, or anyplace where they drive on the wrong side of the road. You just can’t relax and revert to instinct, or something very bad can happen.

I almost died in London, stepping onto a crosswalk while automatically looking to my left. A comrade grabbed my coat and yanked me back in time to avoid me getting flattened by a bus coming from the right, just inches from the curb.

He told me that a few American tourists get killed that way in London every year.

46. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

Churchill got run over in New York by looking the wrong way.

When I was in London they had very helpful directions painted in the crosswalks by the curb: “Look Left”, etc.

Saved my daydreaming butt many times.

47. TattooedIntellectual - October 28, 2008

It took a solid 2 months in Wellington to get used to the cars coming from the “wrong” direction when crossing the road.

I hear you Mrs Peel about rich being relative, and I could live pretty darned high on the hog w/ 40k a year.

48. Dave in Texas - October 28, 2008

I almost got nailed by a car in London doing that look the wrong way thing too.

Worse though, in Taipei, at the big eight and 12 lane intersections, they have cross traffic “bus only” lanes. I was lookin the right way, except for the bus coming from the left. Which also almost nailed me.

49. eddiebear - October 28, 2008

Speaking of casinos, in Amsterdam, they have one , and I recall the literature stating that people had to be dressed up to attend. No dirty jeans or t-shirts like in STL.

50. eddiebear - October 28, 2008

I always was fascinated how in Copenhagen and Amsterdam the bicycle lanes featured helmetless people, including ladies in skirts and heels, zipping past you on bikes.

51. eddiebear - October 28, 2008

My wife went through the Quarantine Area in Sydney, and said it was the spookiest thing she had ever been in.

52. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

How long did your wife have to stay in quarantine?


53. eddiebear - October 29, 2008

^bad choice of words.

It was part of a tour her and her twin sister did that took them through Hawaii, Australia, NZ, and Fiji.

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