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Another Reason to Avoid Australia October 28, 2008

Posted by Michael in News.

Aside from the world’s worst concentration of venomous snakes, you have to deal with this:

No more hope and change for you, little bird.

No more hope and change for you, little bird.

The pictures show the spider with its long black legs wrapped around the body of a dead bird suspended in its web.

Giant spider eating a bird caught on camera

The startling images were reportedly taken in Atheron, close to Queensland’s tropical north.

Despite their unlikely subject matter, the pictures appear to be real.

Joel Shakespeare, head spider keeper at the Australian Reptile Park, said the spider was a Golden Orb Weaver.

Giant spider eating a bird caught on camera – Telegraph


1. Mrs Peel - October 28, 2008

Why am I the only person who thinks that’s awesome? Maybe because I like spiders and don’t particularly like birds…(Hummingbirds, sure, and cardinals and bluebirds, but really, most birds are pests.)

Random: We had the Halloween dance at swing dancing last weekend, and one guy dressed as Uncle Sam. So I ran up to him, pointed, and exclaimed, “I want you!” (I know him a little bit – enough to know he would know I wasn’t serious and would laugh.) He did laugh, and I asked him if he’d been asking girls to dance with that line, and he said he thought they would get upset, “but you could get away with it.” Heh.

Later, when the people who had worn Halloween costumes promenaded to show them off, he kept stopping to point to random guys and say, “I want you!” I was amused.

2. Mrs Peel - October 28, 2008

oh, and it’s geoff’s birthday, so you guys should go over and wish him a good one.

3. Lipstick - October 28, 2008

I want you. . . to kill that huge spider.


4. Cathy - October 28, 2008

Thanks for the heads-up about the Birthday Guy, Peel.

5. eddiebear - October 28, 2008

Isn’t there some spider in Australia that actually tries to hunt humans and can kill damn near instantly? I think it’s something called the funnel spider, but I’m not sure.

Right now, we are starting to see those wolf spiders in and near the house.

6. Retired Geezer - October 28, 2008

I think Australia has more poisonous snakes than anyplace else.

7. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

I want you. . . to kill that huge spider.
I was a Marine, and I’m crazy, but I’m not fucking insane, your on your own with that fucking thing!!!!

Australia has more poisonous snakes, more, and the most, poisonous spiders, and it has the only ANT that can kill people!!!

8. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Ant, singular.

9. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Lipsticks situation?

I don’t know, cuz she better call peel to take care of that son of a bitch.

I literaly slept with a girlfriend only after I picked up a scorpion that got into her house.

I would rather bath in scorpions than fuck with this 8 legged ninja.

10. Mrs Peel - October 29, 2008

Oh, he won’t hurt you. Look at him! He’s so sweet. All he wants is to devour that bird alive.

(I know it’s dead, but spiders generally do eat live prey.)

I really hate scorpions, though. Not sure why, especially considering I’m a Scorpio and have a pattern of freckles on one arm that looks kinda like part of the constellation Scorpius. (I also have the Little Dipper on the other arm.)

11. composmentis - October 29, 2008

This photo is proof that there is nothing but chaos in the universe and we’re all going to die cataclysmically. Faaack!

Mr Shakepeare said he had seen Golden Orb Weaver spiders as big as a human hand but the northern species in tropical areas were known to grow larger. Spiders as big as your face with webs head high. Walking through the woods, enjoying the moment, and suddenly you’ve got a fucking black and yellow terror nibbling on your nose.

It actually is awesome. Further proof that the universe is a hostile, impersonal jungle.

Pinto – it’s the Funnel Web Spider. Aggressive and deadly. Large fangs that can pierce a human fingernail.


12. Anonymous - October 29, 2008

I’m with Mrs. Peel on this one. Awesomey awesomeness covered in awesome sauce. Stoopid bird prolly had it coming. /shakes fist

Thanks for posting this, Michael.

+1 that the photographer’s name is Shakespeare

13. doc - October 29, 2008

doh – anon be I

14. sandy burger - October 29, 2008

it’s the Funnel Web Spider

Here’s a wikipedia article about that thing. Horrible.

15. Dave in Texas - October 29, 2008

Giant f’n’ spiderwebs.


16. daveintexas - October 29, 2008

we should ship some of those spider-eating wrens from lauraw’s place to Sydney.

17. Michael - October 29, 2008

Erm, Dave, Skinbad beat you to the giant spiderweb story (by about one hour).

18. Dave in Texas - October 29, 2008


No. I didn’t THINK so.

19. Michael - October 29, 2008

OK, he only beat you by 10 minutes.

20. skinbad - October 29, 2008

That was a humorous thread. Tears of seminal longing, turgid nipples, and Michael nannying me about the size of the photo.

Good times.

21. Dave in Texas - October 29, 2008

and “taut”

I love that word.

22. BrewFan - October 29, 2008

Looking at that old thread made me realized we haven’t seen Mr. M around these parts recently. Must be having his sex-change surgery.

23. skinbad - October 29, 2008

Mr. M > Mrs. M = (M)are???

The estrogen seems to be toning him down. “She” is quite pleasant.

24. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Pinto – it’s the Funnel Web Spider. Aggressive and deadly. Large fangs that can pierce a human fingernail.

I know what the funnel web spider was, if you were talking to eddies “Isn’t there some spider in Australia that actually tries to hunt humans” that was Eddie not me.

I’m talking about the hunting ANT!
SINGULAR! ONE ANT! is aggressive and venomous enough to kill a human (almost only children, and maybe some grown women like cathy who are about the same weight as a fucking blueberry muffin)

I forget what the ant is called. something with “Jumper?” I wanna say, but I don’t know.

25. Blueberry Muffin - October 29, 2008

about the same weight as a fucking blueberry muffin


26. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

Technically the funnel web spider is a tarantula and it’s found in/near Sydney/eastern Aus. A badge huntsman spider can also mess you up pretty badly.

Not entirely certain which ant WP’s talking about. Bulldog ants are fucking HUGE and pretty aggressive but unless you’re allergic, not a huge deal.

The only other one I know of that’s really poisonous is a harvester ant, but just one of the 20 some odd species is really a problem.

27. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

Tattooed — should I take an overnight excursion to Mt. Cook?

28. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

I don’t know the aunt, but there is an aunt who kills people in AU, might be the bulldog, I don’t know.

29. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

aunt? I know the aunt who will kill you, that’s Carol, don’t fuck with aunt carol. I meant ANT.

30. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

Who am I kidding? With all those scary spiders and killer ants, I’ll just cower on the ship.

31. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

are you cold Lipstick?

And Hey? HOws things? Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to touch you, I know, things are tough.

So, uh. . . you know?

Whats your situation?

32. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

Lipstick, what are your other options? Mt Cook’s pretty cool, but there are other things that I would do first.

33. Cathy - October 29, 2008

*tempted to get a parakeet*call it Pinto*teach it to say what’s your situation*

34. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

Cathy, I think for the full impact, you would need to get a sulfur-crested cockatoo. Lots of shrieking.

35. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

TI, the excursion is available from Christchurch and here is another option:

From the port of Lyttelton, drive through the city of Christchurch and across the fertile Canterbury Plains. Cross the Waimakariri River via the Gorge Bridge and travel through the Oxford area to the secluded Riverside Lodge. Here you will board a large Hamilton jetboat for a spectacular 14-km (9-mile) river cruise deep into the heart of the Waimakariri Gorge. Along the way, your knowledgeable captain will provide interesting commentary and point out photo opportunities.

Upon arrival at the boundary of Flock Hill Station, disembark the jetboat and proceed in 4-wheel drive vehicles on bush clad slopes up into the high country toward Flock Hill Station. The 19-km (12-mile) journey through the vast 14,163-hectare (35,000-acre) property includes numerous photo stops featuring spectacular river gorges and the jagged peaks of the Southern Alps. Learn about the colourful history of this remote and isolated area as your journey takes you along part of the original stagecoach road, built by early pioneers to gain access to the gold fields on the West Coast.

Thanks for your advice!

36. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

Pinto, my situation is today is Mr. LS’s 39th birthday. (I’m a cougar)

37. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

I’d have to go w/ the Flock Hill Station option. Waimakariri River is absolutely gorgeous.

Of all the mountain options Mt Cook isn’t one I’d take.

38. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

Thank you so much, TI, I really appreciate your advice.

39. Mrs Peel - October 29, 2008

😦 I just discovered that when I updated LyX, I lost the files of some stories I had written. They weren’t any good, of course, but they were mine, and now they’re gone forever. I also lost some papers I wrote for school, which is annoying because if I ever wanted to make a technical writing portfolio, I would draw from those.

(The problem was that the older version of LyX couldn’t save files in the My Documents directory because of the space in the directory name. So I placed a document directory within the LyX directory. When I upgraded to the newer version of LyX, which can save files in the My Documents directory, the document directory I had made was deleted. That was months and months ago, and I only just now discovered that that happened, which is why I can’t recover the files – I’ve cleaned the disk since then.)

40. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

Lipstick, are you stopping on just the South Island, or any stops on the North?

41. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

We start in Auckland, then Napier, Wellington, Christchurch, Port Chalmer and cruise Milford Sound.

42. Mrs. Peel - October 29, 2008

Ha-HA! They’re NOT gone forever! I put them on my backup drive! YAY!

Anyway, yeah. I wanna go to Australia and NZ too. Can I stow away with you, Lipstick? I’m real small and I don’t use ass cream.

43. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

Wellington’s got some really nice stops. If you can, enjoy the waterfront and Lambton Quay–tons of really cool shopping. The Beehive is very cool from outside even if you don’t get the chance to do the gov’t tour.

I’ve heard that Milford Sound is just amazing. It’s on my list of things to do eventually.

Any chance of getting near Kaikoura?

44. Cathy - October 29, 2008

Here’s Obama Infomercial for those who missed it.


45. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

Any chance of getting near Kaikoura?

Not that I can see at this point. Thanks again for the tips.

I’m real small and I don’t use ass cream.

heh, and I’m sure you don’t snore and fart a lot too! Come on along, we’ll fit you in.

46. Michael - October 29, 2008

I’ve heard that Milford Sound is just amazing. It’s on my list of things to do eventually.

It is amazing. You will see scars on the sides of the fjord caused by tree avalanches. The lush vegetation basically just grows on bare vertical rock, and occasionally a tree falls and causes an entire swath to rip off and fall into the water. These scars are in various phases of restoration (i.e, just lichens to small plants beginning to take root to trees establishing a foothold).

That area of NZ and the Olympic Peninsula in Washington are, I’ve been told (on the Olympic Penisula), the two temperate rain forests on the planet. They’re supposed to be very rare ecosystems.

If memory serves, you’ll probably also see a hydroelectric power plant that powers an aluminum mill somewhere in the area. Apparently it takes a lot of electricity to make aluminum.

47. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Can I stow away with you, Lipstick? I’m real small and I don’t use ass cream.

Keep hitting on me, and you might get a response.

48. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

The only thing that recommends Kaikoura is the sperm whale migration, the spinner dolphins and the pubs. 🙂

One warning, if you get away from the waterfront in Wellington you are going to be walking either straight uphill, or up steps (where the incline is too steep to walk).

If you want more info on Wellington, email me. Otherwise I’m going to end up writing a book here: laydiejayn at yahoo dot com

49. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Kaikoura is the sperm whale migration
Keep hitting on me, and I will keep hitting on you.

50. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

Hell WP, I don’t know if I should be sick or laugh 😉

51. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

email me.

You guys gonna make out? have a pillow fight? In your panties?


Btw, lauraW, so hey?


52. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

Pillow fight via email? Really?

53. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

there are attachments.

54. Mrs. Peel - October 29, 2008

Michael, it does take a lot of electricity to refine aluminum from bauxite ore. iirc, that one process alone accounts for something like 10% of the electricity the US uses in a year. That is why recycling aluminum cans is actually worth it – getting usable aluminum out of cans is much more efficient than refining bauxite ore. (Recycling paper, not so much. Dunno about plastic.)

LS, I don’t snore, but I do talk in my sleep. One time, I was napping in the living room and slowly waking up from a dream of bats attacking me, and asked aloud, “Did it really happen?” My mom said, “What?” I opened my eyes all the way, looked around, and said sleepily, “I guess not,” whereupon my family burst into raucous laughter.

55. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

Thanks, TI, I might just do that — I’m just starting to do research on the ports now that the cruise and air reservations are taken care of.

Pinto, LOL. Laura will put an industrial stapler to your head.

56. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

can you tell laura to stop hitting me?

The hammer is a bitch much.

57. TattooedIntellectual - October 29, 2008

I’m thinking the hammer is highly appropriate 🙂

58. Lipstick - October 29, 2008

Sleep talking is fine, Peel, come on and stow away. But leave the bats at home — apparently there are enough creepy things where we’re going.

59. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Yess alluminum is a high energy refinement process, thats why france is now the leader in alluminum production, even though they have virtually now raw sources.

They produce it, because they have a lot of cheap energy for refinement, thanks to their almost 80% electrical energy production thanks to nuke plants.

In the 40’s we were ninja’s cuz of grand cooly, and hoover, but that was only an excuse for nukes, both the reactors and the bombs.

60. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Peel? I can hold you and make all the bats just go away.

Ooooooh YEAH!

LIke 2 hundred, and forty pounds, uh, worth of puddin. AWW YAH.

61. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

btw, crazy, not stupid.

62. Mrs. Peel - October 29, 2008

It’s a sign of how bad my dreams are that that actually sounds appealing. But then, I didn’t follow the link.

63. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Come here baby.

ooooooooooh yeah.

64. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

*thumbs up to russ*

65. Mrs. Peel - October 29, 2008

Dude, breath mints. They’re not just for people at Luby’s.

66. Wickedpinto - October 29, 2008

Okay breath mints, then I’ll hold you, and make you feel like the woman you want to be.

OOOOOooooooh Yeah!

67. Anonymous - December 2, 2008

im an auissie and all i can say to any of you is to GET FUCKED!
or ill give me mate ned kelly a call, and no amount of fucked up gun nut americans will get through his home made armour..
stupid cunts

68. eddiebear - December 2, 2008

^another satisfied customer!

69. K - January 1, 2009

I’m doubting you’re actually an Australian

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