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“Oh, The Good Old Hockey Game, Is The Best Game You Can Name” October 25, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Ducks, Entertainment, Family, Heroes, History, Lurkers, Man Laws, Movies, News, Personal Experiences, Sports.
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I went to a St. Louis Blues Hockey Game tonight. Usually, I am not a fan of hockey, but my friend had an extra ticket, and suggested I attend, and not just because the fights seem to be sponsored by beer companies.

No, this game was awesome because somebody special was set to appear and drop the first puck.


Luuckiest Pizza Delivery Guy Evah! October 24, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Economics, Entertainment, Family, Food, Heroes, Humor, Man Laws, Movies, News.
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Did you ever have a time where your TV or radio would pick up odd transmissions? Well, it appears that some pizza delivery guy in Canada just can’t help getting pr0n on his dashboard display.

Sadly, he is not pleased with this fringe benefit.

Dikran Ohanyan, 52, who owns a pizzeria and also makes deliveries, bought the system about a year ago as a safety precaution during backing, the Windsor Star reported.

Two weeks ago, he said, he was delivering on a certain street when a pornographic movie appeared on his monitor. It faded away when he left the area, he said. A few days later it happened again on the same street while his twin sons were in the backseat but they didn’t notice it, he said.

Ohanyan said he was upset with the random availability of pornography.


Folks, this, along with saving money, is why I pick up my pizzas.

Sobek demurely dropped this in the comments October 23, 2008

Posted by skinbad in Crime, Politics.

He’s doing God’s work, though I guess not the Messiah’s. Maybe at some point Dave will decide to get out of the hot tub to pee (this time) and check in. Then he could cross-pollinate at Ace’s.

Do Your Dancing Skills Mean Anything Regarding Genetic Selection? October 22, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Ducks, Entertainment, Law, Lurkers, Man Laws, News, Science, Sex, Technology, Websites.
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I hate dancing and only do it to keep my wife from complaining about how I ignore her at events. When I go to a party or other gathering, I would rather hang around the bar, smoke a cigar outside with the fellas, or harass bribe the music man to play more Slayer or “Blister In The Sun” and less country music. Or at least a few less crap ass songs. Or none at all, so that I can participate in a civilized conversation about the merits of strangling hobos, bootleg beer, or leaving burning bags of dogshit on my neighbor’s porch.

Anyway, some researcher with too much grant money wants to investigate the correlation between how a person dances and their genetic suitability.

It turns out that women prefer small to medium size movements, and enjoy a level of complexity that includes an apparently random element. Perhaps unsurprisingly John Travolta’s controlled flamboyance wins out over David Brent’s monster of the dancefloor approach in “The Office”.

It might seem bizarre, but scientists have known for some time that there’s a strong correlation between physical features like the symmetry of men’s ears and limbs, the length of their fourth finger as compared to their second, and their exposure to elevated levels of testosterone in the womb – widely regarded as an indicator of overall genetic quality.

And it seems that women are pre-disposed to pick up on these subtle cues, consistently rating men with the most symetrical features (and longest fourth fingers) as more attractive. But what about cultural rituals like dance? Could our genes be quietly advertising their suitability through the shapes we cut on the dance floor?

Peter Lovatt certainly thinks so, but to prove it he needs your help. Armed with the results of his research into what women like, he wants to know if it’s the men with the highest exposure to prenatal testosterone who are delivering on the dancefloor.

Uhh…I don’t want any testosterone delivered on the dancefloor, thank you. Leave that for when you get home and want to watch Spanktravision on your Hi-Def TV. But I digress.

I guess this means dudes who hate dancing better just suck it up if they want to get them a wimins. And for no good reason, here is a video.

Enjoy while I go off and explore the correlation between hot naked athletes with guns and nothing in particular.

Post-Debate Candid Shot October 22, 2008

Posted by Michael in News.
As they exit the stage, John McCain is seen here fighting the urge to give Obama a wedgie.

As they exit the stage, John McCain is seen here fighting the urge to give Barack Obama a wedgie.

And I hope this jam is gonna last . . . . October 22, 2008

Posted by skinbad in Ducks, Economics, Family, Food.

I know. Those freaks at The Hostages probably put it up five years ago. I’m not even checking.

Cheap Day Return October 21, 2008

Posted by Michael in Music.

This is a Jethro Tull song, done with an amazing new electronic instrument called a Chapman Stick, which I never heard of before.  The Stick is kinda like a bunch of goofy spudders playing Rockband™, only it’s a serious tap instrument with strings. The Stick is much like playing a piano, except you are not just “throwing hammers,” as Emmet Chapman says, because you have the articulation of a stringed instrument like a guitar, and the tuning is extremely versatile, accomodating chords, melody, bass line, and percussive effects.

The Tull version, from the Aqualung album, is below the break.  Along with MORE STICK — a performance of Little Wing.  And Stevie Ray Vaughan!!!


How Do You Say “Epic Fail” In Farsi? October 20, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Crime, Economics, Entertainment, Humor, Movies, Music, Politics, Religion, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.
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Apparently, some people in Iran decided that they should try to get into the Guinness Book Of World Records with the world’s largest ostrich sandwich. Well, take a wild guess how this ended.

Event organisers had planned to display the world’s largest ostrich sandwich in a park in the capital Tehran.

But as the sandwich was being measured, chaos ensued. The giant snack was gone in minutes, a Reuters witness said, leaving the three Guinness representatives present with a dilemma.

Uh-oh! So, how can the Guinness People vouch for this feat? Never fear, for the Iranian photoshop artists organizers are on the case.

One of the event’s organisers said video footage of the sandwich would be sent to Guinness officials.

“We still think the sandwich will be recorded in the Guinness book because of all the evidence and footage that we will send them,” Parvin Shariati said.

Yeah, after their graphic designers are finished with it.

Cute Photo October 20, 2008

Posted by skinbad in News, Religion.

And a nice story. The local Catholics had a “Disabilities Awareness Mass.” Matthew 25:40 and Matthew 18:3 come to mind.

Well, after I Googled them.

Job Interviews Are Stressful Enough, But This Is Ridiculous! October 19, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Crime, Ducks, Law, News, Sex, Sports.
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We all have had those crazy job interviews, especially the ones where the interviewer asks trick questions that have no right answers, and only serve to trip you up. Well, I am sure none of us have ever had to deal with what one lady in West Virginia had to endure during a recent interview. That is, unless you think the interviewer living the Ace of Spades Lifestyle is no big deal.

Heather D. Kelly claims she could not take the job because of the conduct of an employee for Worldwide Industrial Services.

Kelly interviewed with Richard See, her former neighbor, for an office position job with Worldwide on March 17, according to a complaint filed Oct. 1 in Monongalia Circuit Court.

She and See were the only ones at the building throughout the interview, the suit states.

After a 30-minute interview, See offered her the job on the condition that he could take a picture of her breasts, the suit states.

Kelly claims she was shocked, embarrassed and humiliated and began to gather her belongings to leave.

As she was leaving, See told her that the job paid $300 per week and would be worth a quick picture of her breasts, then asked if he could at least touch one of them, according to the complaint.

Kelly refused and walked out of the office, the suit states.

“Plaintiff Kelly began to cry as she left Defendant Worldwide’s office as she was so upset by the conduct of Richard See,” the suit states.

Personally, I’ll stick to the “What are your greatest weaknesses?” types of questions.

Flipping Coins October 19, 2008

Posted by Michael in Science.

Ever flip a coin to settle a dispute, or make a tough decision?  Sure you have.

I’ll bet you thought the the odds of an honest and vigorous coin flip were 50/50.

You fool.  There is a dynamic bias in favor of the side that was originally up.  The odds are more like 51/49.

This is just another useful IB hint, which may help get you through the economic crisis if you make enough bets based on coin flipping.


Persi Diaconis, Susan Holmes, Richard Montgomery

Department of Mathematics, Department of Statistics, Department of Mathematics and Statistics

Sequoia Hall University of California, Stanford University, Stanford University Santa Cruz


[Editors note:  ^ Persi, Susan and Richard actually got paid to flip coins!  They gotta be geniuses.]

We analyze the natural process of flipping a coin which is caught in the hand. We prove that vigorously-flipped coins are biased to come up the same way they started. The amount of bias depends on a single parameter, the angle between the normal to the coin and the angular momentum vector. Measurements of this parameter based on high-speed photography are reported. For natural flips, the chance of coming up as started is about .51.

Contrary to what you might intuitively expect, the bias may be more pronounced if you let the coin land on the floor, rather than catching it in your hand.

The full analysis is here.

I personally found this treatise to be a relatively light and entertaining read.  It’s about what you would expect from math geeks in California.  However, if you do not understand all the formulas, please do not ask me questions, because I really don’t have time to explain such simple material to morons like you.  Please direct your questions to Mrs. Peel.

The View From Dave’s Window After The Rams-Cowboys Game Today October 19, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Economics, Science, Sports.
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 (AP Photo/L.M. Otero)

(AP Photo/L.M. Otero)

“Dave! Don’t Shoot! I’m just hiding from that crazy old man!”