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How to Clean and Prepare Fresh Carrots November 21, 2008

Posted by Sobek in Food, Gardening, News.

Now that you have had about eighteen months to practice chopping fresh peas, it’s time to learn a new skill: cleaning fresh carrots.  They are very versatile vegetables, rich in beta-carotene, and can be used in fresh salads or stir-frys, or even alone as a healthy snack.

I’ve asked my good friend Carl the Carrot to help us with a demonstration.  Hello, Carl!

carl012Hi, Sobek!

Now the first mistake that most beginner chefs make when preparing carrots is forgetting to clean them properly.  Take a clean scalpel and start with an incision near the bottom, cutting upwards to the top of the thoracic cavity:

carl02What?!?  No!  What are you doing!?

You need to reach in deep and pull out all of the viscera, but be very careful not to tear or puncture any of it.  If the instestinal juices spill out into the thoracic cavity, they can get absorbed into the tissue, which will ruin the flavor and could possibly make it unsanitary.

carl03Please!  I have a family!!

Once you’ve removed the internal organs, you need to thoroughly rinse out the inside to wash away any left over bits and pieces.  By this time, the carrot usually stops screaming in agony.


The final step can be tricky, but with a little practice you should be able to remove all the rest of the innards.  Gently cut into the top of the carrot, around the stalk, grasp firmly, and give a firm, hard pull.  If you do it properly, this should take out the skull, eyeballs, and spinal column:


Dispose of all the innards, and you are ready to prepare your meal.  You can chop it, slice it, fillet it, or leave it whole.  Try it with a dash of Mrs. Sharp’s Belizean Heat hot sauce, or slowly cooked in Mr. Lamm’s Heavy Metal Genuine Texas Barbeque for a rich, smoky flavor.



1. skinbad - November 21, 2008
2. Sobek - November 21, 2008

Now you’re just being silly, Skinbad.

3. Michael - November 21, 2008

Sobek, you are totally sick, twisted, and demented.

Funny, I’ll grant you that, but still, you need counseling.

4. Michael - November 21, 2008

I mean, sheesh, it would not even occur to a normal person to post about the tortured death-by-evisceration of a carrot.

You need help.

5. Wickedpinto - November 21, 2008

That was kinda disgusting.

6. harrison - November 21, 2008

If you boil them you don’t have to take the bones out.
Just sayin’.

7. eddiebear - November 21, 2008

Last time I checked, the innards had the most nutrients

8. harrison - November 21, 2008

Eat the eyes, they’ll help you see better.

9. Sobek - November 21, 2008

Michael, the worst part was that my oldest son (5 years old) was watching over my shoulder the whole time, pointing at the innards and asking “what’s that? Why is the carrot dead?”

“Um, daddy’s just being silly.”

10. Sobek - November 21, 2008

I did something similar to this in High School bio class. When we dissected animals, we were supposed to make detailed drawings. I made one traditional set, showing all the organs and whatnot, and then a set showing the animals as cartoons, complete with tophats, canes and little monocles, looking down in agony and terror at their pinned and exposed viscera.

Yeah, my teachers wondered about me a bit.

11. Mrs. Sobek - November 21, 2008

I mean, sheesh, it would not even occur to a normal person to post about the tortured death-by-evisceration of a carrot.

Yea, that was my first reaction. Just…why? But that said, I know this man well enough to know that he doesn’t actually need help…he’s just got a WIERD sense of humor.

My boys and I comment daily to each other about just how silly a Daddy they have.

12. Wickedpinto - November 21, 2008

Mrs. I still find me asking him about the cartoon, and him talking to you about the strike down of term limits, and me saying, “that kinda doesn’t make sense.” but he didn’t turn from the computer while working on his SP thing, to say “qualifications clause, maybe you should become a member of the supreme court.” No malice, actually he was laughing, but then he just finished a frame with DinT’s SP character doing something.

The two of you cracked me up.

13. Wickedpinto - November 21, 2008

Daddy doesn’t just have a wierd sense of humor, he’s got about 3 things down pat all at once.

14. Michael - November 22, 2008

My boys and I comment daily to each other about just how silly a Daddy they have.

My kids did not call me silly. Ever.

“Goofy” was the daily descriptor of my primary personality trait.

15. Michael - November 22, 2008

I remember meeting Son Michael’s GF in Boston about a year ago. After we were together for a few hours, Son Michael turned to her and said: “See, I told you he was goofy.”

Actually, if memory serves, that occurred on the stroll through Boston Commons that resulted in this post.

16. lauraw - November 22, 2008

I’ve asked my good friend Carl the Carrot to help us with a demonstration.

He couldn’t have been that good a friend.

17. Enas Yorl - November 22, 2008
18. Michael - November 22, 2008

Enas’ comment was stuck in the spam filter. I’m putting his song on the main page.

19. Retired Geezer - November 22, 2008

Does anyone else find it not surprising that Enas and Sobek both live in Las Vegas, the place the Geezers ESCAPED from?

Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen both of them in the same room?

I think not.

20. lauraw - November 24, 2008
21. eddiebear - November 24, 2008
22. Sobek - November 24, 2008


23. eddiebear - November 24, 2008

And a good day to you too, sir!

24. lauraw - November 24, 2008

Spam bucket

25. geoff - November 24, 2008

I know this man well enough to know that he doesn’t actually need help


Like we’d believe Little Miss Co-Dependent Enabler Chick

26. lauraw - November 24, 2008
27. lauraw - November 25, 2008
28. lauraw - November 25, 2008
29. lauraw - November 25, 2008
30. lauraw - November 25, 2008
31. lauraw - November 25, 2008

This one makes my nerve endings scream in agony.


32. lauraw - November 25, 2008


33. eddiebear - November 25, 2008


34. Retired Geezer - November 25, 2008

Lauraw means that all of the recent comments in the sidebar are posted by her.

I call it the Wicked Pinto syndrome.

Here’s a link to a story about a guy who carried a concealed weapon for 6 months:


35. The hell? « Innocent Bystanders - February 24, 2009

[…] kind of sick, twisted person […]

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