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Prescription Pain Killers Are For Sissies November 29, 2008

Posted by Edward von Bear in Ducks, Handblogging, Man Laws, Music, News, Personal Experiences, Sex, Sports.
Tags: ,

This is what I have been using to keep the pain down, and I feel fine:



Two days on, and a gallon of Neosporin and Isopropyl Alcohol later, and I can see a marked improvement. My aunt, who happens to be an ER Nurse, told me the cut wasn’t deep enough to require stitches, and she told me just to keep it wrapped until a good scab develops. Yipee!

Oh, and to keep the squeamish from getting upset, below the fold is what my hand looks like tonight.



1. Don Carne - November 30, 2008

Oh that’s nothing. You big pussy. Jeez, you made it sound like you hurt yourself.

Man up, walk it off.

2. Wickedpinto - November 30, 2008

PLEASE!!! If you guys could stand my breath, you should see what I did to the inside of my mouth after hitting myself in the face with a turkey leg.

YES I’m beating a dead horse, but how often you hear about someone hitting themselves in the face with a turkey leg!

3. Retired Geezer - November 30, 2008

Was it the Killer Palm Tree or a piece of Heavy Machinery?

4. Wickedpinto - November 30, 2008

good point carne! My balls have come into contact with shit that had worse lesions!

5. Wickedpinto - November 30, 2008

on that notem, why are my nuts bleeding out pussy nastiness?

6. xbradtc - November 30, 2008

Looks like my hand after a particularly good night of sex….

7. Wickedpinto - November 30, 2008


8. Dave in Texas - November 30, 2008

I thought you were left handed brad?

Or did you decide it was “date night”?

9. kevlarchick - November 30, 2008

Poor thing. I bet it hurts. Go sit down and I’ll turn football on to distract you. Let me rub your shoulders, I bet you’re so tense. Are you hungry? You must be hungry after your ordeal. Let me fix you a big sammich and some hot soup.

10. BrewFan - November 30, 2008

*stabs self in the hand*

KC I have an owwie too!

11. Pupster - November 30, 2008


That’s funny Brew…while I was reading KC’s comment, I got to ‘let me rub your shoulders’ and I started looking around for something sharp, or the odd turkey leg.

12. kevlarchick - November 30, 2008

Brew, go outside and put up those Chrismas lights!
Pups, clean up the kitchen and put that turkey carcass in the trash.

*puts slippers on eddiebear’s sweet smelling feet*

13. Not Eddie - November 30, 2008

No — I want my Crocs!

14. Pupster - November 30, 2008


*puts on apron*

15. BrewFan - November 30, 2008

Brew, go outside and put up those Chrismas lights!

*brushes snow off*

Is lunch ready yet?

16. eddiebear - November 30, 2008

Thanks, KC. Now, if somebody could dress my daughter for me, I’m cool.

Oh, and my crocs are by the door for when I take out the trash.

The only bummer is that my dad was going to go shooting, and I couldn’t test out my new .38.

Oh well. There’s always next week.

17. Mare - November 30, 2008

Eddiebear, I’m sorry I was so callous about your hand, that looks nasty. Have a drink on me. Several in fact.

18. Vmaximus - November 30, 2008

While prescription painkillers and bourbon are dangerous, they are also fun! And 2x as good at killing you pain

19. eddiebear - November 30, 2008


No problemo. I didn’t take it that way. But I will have a couple just because you told me to.

20. eddiebear - November 30, 2008

I was smart. I passed on the pain pills.

21. Vmaximus - December 1, 2008

Eddie, I was serious, The last time my back went out my Doc gave me Vicodan. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I called him and he said take 2. Still Nothing but PAIN. However I found that (at that point death would have been a relief) 2 Vic and 2 shots / hr I could function. I took a flask to work! Never did that before. I even had the bosses (unofficial) blessing.

22. eddiebear - December 1, 2008

^I love your boss.

I never have taken pain pills, other than Tylenol.

23. Vmaximus - December 1, 2008

I think it had something to do with it being more discreet than the 1.75 of Wild Turkey on my desk the previous day.
So you are one of them? No meds. By Choice? It is one thing if you do not need it, quite another if you do and turn down a better life thru medication. (only 1/2 joking)

24. sandy burger - December 1, 2008

quite another if you do and turn down a better life thru medication

I have a friend with schizophrenia who won’t get treated, mainly because she’s scared of the medication. It’s very sad; she could be living a decent life.

25. skinbad - December 1, 2008

Ibuprofen works as well for me as any of the prescription stuff they’ve given me. None seemed to really have much of an effect. Except the percocet. That made me feel like I just stepped off the Tilt-o-Whirl. I’ll take pain over percocet.

26. Russ from Winterset - December 1, 2008

I’ve always felt that tylenol is good enough for most injuries I’ve ever had (broken arm, broken toe – a real mo-fo if you’ve ever had one you know what I mean, kidney stone, hyperextended knee, cracked molar), but I will take anything I’m offered in order to get to sleep. I’m a light sleeper to start with, and if I’m hurtin’, it’s damn near impossible to get any sleep. Vicodin is OK, Percocet is good too, but most of the time I’ve been well served by good old Tylenol 3 (with codeine). It takes the edge off enough for me to get some shut eye, and that’s a good thing.

27. Lipstick - December 1, 2008

A broken toe really hurts, even though people laugh. I broke both my big toes.

28. Pupster - December 1, 2008

…otherwise known as the first recorded instance of double sonic booms heard on earth.

29. Lipstick - December 1, 2008

My dad dropped a frozen turkey on mom’s foot and broke her toe too. Long story.

30. Russ from Winterset - December 1, 2008

I broke the big toe on my right foot in a motorcycle accident in the fall of ’84. The bike’s brakes went out, and when I got to the 90° bend in the dirt road, the bike and I went through the barb wire fence along the North right-of-way. Unfortunately, my foot caught on the fence and it messed up my toe pretty thoroughly. When I got to the ER and the Dr. looked at it, he said “You broke your toe”, to which I replied “Is there a cast or brace for a broken toe?”. His reply: “Just try to keep off of it”. You know how hard it is to stay off a toe, unless you’re willing to become a freakin’ gimp invalid? By two weeks later, I was stuffing the foot into a BIG shoe and limping around on it like Festus from “Gunsmoke”. My toe never did heal right, and I had a whole shitload of trouble with ingrown toenails on that foot until I had an operation 2 years later to have the toenail sliced back from the inside edge of the toe. Plus, it essentially ended my football career (undistinguished as it was) the same year that we went to the quarterfinal round of State.

I got a few Tylenol 3’s for that injury, but unfortunately the Dr. who treated me was the “If you’re not bleeding from 2 major orifices, you don’t need pain meds” – type. The worst part of the pain wasn’t the broken toe, which was pretty bad – but it was all the damn ingrown toenails I got during the next year. Those damn things were pure freakin’ hell to deal with, and it got to the point where I would sneak a few shots of Canadian Club from Mom & Dad’s stash & operate on myself with tweezers and an exacto knife to dig out the slivers of toenail that were jabbing into my flesh instead of wait a couple of days for the Dr. to get around to working on me. Yeah, good times, man.

31. harrison - December 1, 2008

Thanks, Russ.
I think I’ll throw-up now.

32. Mrs. Peel - December 1, 2008

My big toenails don’t grow quite normally. That’s why I have pedicures – to dig those suckers out. I did the surgery thing once, but it hurt like hell and wasn’t a permanent solution. Turned out that pedicures were cheaper and less painful. (It wasn’t the surgery itself that hurt – that just felt like a toenail clipper – but the injection of novocaine DIRECTLY INTO MY NERVES with a GIANT FUCKING NEEDLE. My dad passed out just watching, and the only reason I didn’t pass out was gravity keeping the blood in my head. Stinkin’ gravity.)

Anyway, pedicures ftw. They hurt, but not as much as that.

(A week or so after the surgery, I stubbed my toe. It hurt like hell for a few seconds, and then it stopped hurting. I was astounded. Previously, a stubbed toe had meant a good minute of agony, due to how ingrown the nail was.)

33. Wickedpinto - December 1, 2008

broke both little toes, didn’t take anything (accept for my custumary alcohol) Broke my foot, had motrin, but I didn’t like taking it, cuz I read about damage non-steroidal anti-inflamtories, and how they promote ulcers and dehydration, and since I was constantly running I didn’t really bother with anything for my foot or my toes.

I was given a light muscle relaxer when I geeked my back, (just a muscle strain really) I took them, they didn’t do shit, and finaly I was told after a month that if there wasn’t improvement I’d have to have an MRI, so (no shit) day before I had to crawl out of my rack at 4:30 for a 10, since I took myself off of light duty, I got drunk.

I woke up fine, booze is a muscle relaxer, and now that I wasn’t taking prescription muscle relaxers and instead waking up hung over, I only felt hung over, with mild back pain.

A month later, didn’t need to deliberately get drunk the night before PT, but you know me, I’m all about prevention.

1 month of prescriptions and a threat of surgery, and what fixed my geeked back? Getting drunk.

34. Wickedpinto - December 1, 2008

Turned out that pedicures were cheaper and less painful.

Also more girly and cute.

35. eddiebear - December 1, 2008

I never got drunk this weekend. Just a few nips to ease the pain.

36. mesablue - December 1, 2008

I broke my right foot — in half.

The front half of my foot folded back. That hurt a bit. Broke my shoulder at the same time. Then I found out I am allergic to codeine. Fun times.

37. Wickedpinto - December 2, 2008

how many bones in the foot mesa? I only had one, but still have a nasty knot, cuz of the whole 1 week light duty man up bullshit.

38. Wickedpinto - December 2, 2008

OH! shit, random, pops is released, LIKELY! absent a bad checkup, in which case he will just have more accessories upon release on wednesday, but it looks good for tomorrow, he sounds great, considering, but in general all seems cool other some PARTICULAR logistical arangements.

39. Pupster - December 2, 2008

That’s great news about your Pop WP.

40. eddiebear - December 2, 2008

Glad to hear, WP.

Hope everything goes well.

41. Cathy - December 2, 2008

Good to hear the news about your dad, WP.

42. Russ from Winterset - December 2, 2008

That’s great to hear, wicked. I hope pops is back home kicking ass by the end of the week.

43. Muslihoon - December 2, 2008

Yasher koach urfuah shleimah to your dad.

44. PANNEERSELVAM - June 16, 2009

My foot toe is very pain. pls tell me treatment

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