Who Doesn’t Want To See A Picture Of Michael Riding An Elephant? December 31, 2008Posted by Edward von Bear in Commenting Tips, Crime, Ducks, Entertainment, Food, Heroes, History, Humor, Lurkers, Man Laws, News, Personal Experiences, Politics, Science, Sex, Sitemeter, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.
Tags: Nice Tights For A Lawyer, Try To Write This One Off
Egypt Spruces Up Its Image December 30, 2008Posted by Michael in News.
If you spend a lot of money going to Egypt, the last thing you want to see is a lot of donkey crap.
Am I right?
Of course I am right.
Donkeys have been banned from walking around in the streets of Egypt’s south-western al-Wadi al-Gadeed governorates without wearing diapers, according to an official in the area.
Mohammed Haround said the measure was to “preserve the aesthetic and cultural scene of the governorate which currently witnesses an unprecedented boom in tourism”.
“Diapers are available in the markets at low prices,” Haroun was quoted by the official MENA news agency as saying on Tuesday.
A Waterlogged Car Not Associated With Ted Kennedy December 30, 2008Posted by Edward von Bear in Crime, Ducks, Family, Food, Gardening, Handblogging, History, Humor, Law, Literature, Man Laws, Music, News, Personal Experiences, Philosophy, Science, Sex, Sports, Travel, Women Ranting.
Tags: Cars, Here Is A Way To Waste Cash, I Told You To Turn Left
Some dude in China named Wang Hongjun claims to have developed an amphibious car. And, being the enterprising emerging market entrepeneur he is, is going on a road show to drum up investments for his creation.
After driving it to Beijing to find investors, he told the Beijing Times: “I’m looking for auto producers who are interested in my creation, since I don’t want to keep it to myself.”
Wang says he often drives his creation to the lake in his hometown to fish, and claims he has even taken his son for a 10-mile drive out to sea.
The yellow sportscar can be sealed to make it waterproof by remote control. A column-shaped thruster and two propellers are installed in the car’s boot.
Wang said his car can float and drive in the water, but he refused to divulge exactly how it works.
Aha! Therein lies the problem. The irony of a Chinese guy looking to protect a prototype’s secrets and fight off pirating is delicious.
Wacky Spider Sex December 29, 2008Posted by Michael in Ducks, Man Laws, Science, Sex.
Spiders are bizarre sex freaks.
I’ve always liked spiders, actually.
But it’s all harmless fun … no wait, actually it’s very harmful. Girl kills guy or guy kills girl — there’s shrill crying, plugged orifices, torn-off genitals, eaten body parts, and psychedelic rituals.
Is this about spiders, or PattyAnn meeting WickedPinto?
Mounting evidence in recent years shows just how crazy spider sex is.
For example, in the case of redback spiders (Latrodectus hasselti), courtship tends to last an average of 50 minutes when males are competing head-to-head for mating rights and 4.5 hours for single, non-competing males. It seems as if the larger male redbacks would always be favored, but scientists recently discovered that the smaller ones actually get more action than their bigger counterparts because they mature faster and are quicker on their feet.
Dang, I do not want to be that quick on my feet. I just want two minutes of Business Time. Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven. You want more? I’m not surprised.
Meanwhile, mature jumping spiders sport crucial glowing patches on their bodies to lure in mates, as if dressed for a rave. The males exhibit UV-reflecting scales that glow in bright white and green, and the females’ have front appendages that similarly glow in a bright green hue.
Turns out, females and males will ignore each other if not seen under full-spectrum light, suggesting that both partners must show their glowing bodies to prove their health before courtship can proceed.
That’s just a dumb idea. You don’t need UV-reflecting scales. Somebody should tell those guy spiders about Jade East.
Spiders reproduce sexually, however the male’s sperm is not inserted into the female’s body from within the male’s genitals. Rather an intermediate stage takes place. Males ejaculate onto ready-made small sperm webs and then transfer their sperm to syringe-like structures on the tips of their front appendages, or palps. As courtship progresses for the male jumping spider, he will arch his body, vibrate his palps and slink on tiptoe toward the female. If courtship is successful, the male injects his sperm from his palps into the female’s genital opening, known as the epigyne, on the underside of her abdomen.
In other words, that male spider just jerks off and doesn’t really get any action.
It gets even stranger, I mean, Very Strange: The Spider Sex Chronicles | LiveScience
Amateur Crimefighting On The Rise? December 28, 2008Posted by Edward von Bear in Crime, Ducks, Family, Food, Heroes, History, Law, Lurkers, Man Laws, Movies, News, Personal Experiences, Philosophy, Sports, Terrorist Hemorrhoids.
Tags: But Can They Administer A Commenting Site?, Dear Gaia Not More Dorks In Costume, These Guys Need To Get Laid
Attention hardcore crimefighters! Your ranks are under attack. By more thugs? No. The police? Hardly. The real threat to white hot crimefighting thugs comes from dilution of the ranks by amateurs. And their amateur status is reflecting poorly on serious heroes everywhere.
Take, for instance, Mr. Invisible. Insurance salesman by day, mockery of crimefighting by night.
“After months of designing my costume, getting my street moves just right, it was my first week out as a Real Life Superhero – and probably my last. This tiny, tiny girl did not like me trying to calm down her screaming boyfriend. She blindsided me, I’m still bruised. It’s dangerous out there,” said the deflated would-be crime fighter last week.
Mr Invisible is cheered that at least his grey one-piece “invisibility suit” works, proven when a drunk urinated on him in an alley. But he is weary of lurking in dark, down-town Los Angeles after dark.
The 29-year-old graduate is “refocusing” on his day job as an insurance salesman. His farewell appearance will be at a New Year’s Eve party.
But at least Citizen Prime is on the case, and he will look sexy while doing so.
“This is a more serious business than it looks,” said Citizen Prime, whose $4,000 (£2,700) costume disguises an Arizona businessman and father of a toddler who thinks his cape, mask and stun-gun are cool.
Prime patrols some of the most dangerous streets in Phoenix but, like most Reals, is reluctant to speak about the villains he has dispatched with a blow from his martial arts-honed forearm. He does admit helping a motorist change a flat tyre.
“Kids love the costume, so I seek to keep them out of the gangs today rather than take them on tomorrow,” said Prime who, at 41, regards himself as on the mature wing of the Real community.
He is worried about lunatics and hotheads. He says he would never act like the Black Monday Society in Salt Lake City who interrupt drug deals in public parks and face off against armed thugs.
So, old-school crimefighters, the spandex gauntlet has been thrown down in challenge by a new breed. Will you pick it up?
I Hope You Had a Merry Christmas December 28, 2008Posted by wintersetruss in Family, Literature.
Tags: baby fashion
I know we did. Here’s Moses modeling the latest in fashionable baby clothes:
Moses cleaned up with a nice selection of clothes, toys and stuff to put up on the shelf and stare at. Yesterday, while I was out doing some soil tests, I stopped by the antique mall & found a couple of cool books for Moses. I got a two volume hardcover set of Kipling’s Jungle Books from 1948, a couple of children’s books about John Deere farm equipment, and an addition to my almost completed set of Time-Life books about the Old West (I hope Moses likes them as much as I did when I was a kid). Dad also managed to get himself a 1962 hardback copy of Phillip K. Dick’s “The Man in the High Castle”, which I’ve been wanting to read for years. The whole pile of books cost me about $30, which is a pretty good price for hardcovers in good shape.
He also managed to start standing up on his own on Christmas Eve. He’s had trouble pulling himself up to the edge of our couch, since the floor right in front of the couch is slick wood, but he finally used the room divider we have to keep him away from the door to pull himself up to his feet. I think he did stand up earlier in the week while he was at my Aunt Karen’s house, but this was the first time he managed to do it at home.
He had some minor surgery done about a week before Christmas, and he’ll be getting his catheter out on New Years Eve, which will be pretty cool. He’s been really good about not being whiny this week, but it will be nice to have him back to “normal” and stop having to use two diapers at a time. I really appreciate having a “low maintenance” baby at times like this.
There Is A New Crimefighter in Dallas December 27, 2008Posted by Michael in Crime, Family, Personal Experiences.
We watched Iron Man tonight. I mentioned this in a thread below. Robert Downey Jr. was actually sober enough to do an OK job.
Plus, you can see the resemblance between Iron Man and Peaches, who are both crimefighters. They both have the same kinda spooky eye color.
The 82nd Airborne Division December 26, 2008Posted by Michael in News.
It’s a Merry Christmas.
I’m about to burn meat with fire, because it’s in the seventies here in Dallas.
I’m owing my good time to jumpers. People like the men and women who have served in the 82nd Airborne, a truly unique unit in our military, who are the first to stand in harm’s way.
After the Vietnam War, the 101st was converted to an air assault division, moving mostly by helicopter (some units do retain airborne capability), leaving the 82nd as America’s sole airborne division. Since then it has served as the nation’s quick reaction force, able to put a brigade in the air in less than 18 hours, ready to jump anywhere in the world.
You can learn more about them here: Airborne all the way! « Bring the heat, Bring the Stupid
God bless them, every one.
Are You the Working Man? December 26, 2008Posted by daveintexas in Ducks, Economics, Entertainment, Man Laws, Science, Sex.
I was today, but just for a little while.
Pretty cool stuff, when a bass dork doubles a lead line with the, uh, lead guy.
Some Dogs Should be Called Cats December 25, 2008Posted by daveintexas in Crime, Economics, Entertainment, Food, Literature, Science, Sports, Technology, Travel.
Meet my Christmas visitor, Peanut. He belongs to one of my kid’s roomies, she’s watching him over the holiday.
I can haz chiken?
He’s a, something. I don’t know what the hell he is, he’s a pain in the ass, that’s what he is.
Moses thinks he’s great though. They’ve been playing their butts off for the past few days.
Peanut is not a crime-fighting dog, but he is a shameless moocher. At least he sleeps all night. I’ll give him that much credit.
Moses: “I don’t know, but I’m gonna hump it”.
Hurry Down the Chimney Tonight December 25, 2008Posted by skinbad in Ducks.
I’m quite happy about this gift. Though I’m somewhat surprised that it’s coming from a nice neighbor lady. Oh well. Merry Christmas everyone.