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Buckeyes – dip your balls in hot paraffin wax December 13, 2008

Posted by kevlarchick in Sex, Women Ranting.

Time for Num Nums that contain PARAFFIN.   Whip up a batch this afternoon. 



1 stick butter
1 and 1/2 cups peanut butter
4 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup chocolate chips
1/3 brick paraffin wax (at the grocery with the canning supplies)
Beat butter, peanut butter, and vanilla in bowl.  Mix in sugar slowly.  Stiff, crumbly dough will form.  Roll in to 1-2 in balls. Chill for at least 2 hours.
Melt chocolate chips and wax in double boiler over LOW heat.  Wax will ignite if it gets too hot.  If you don’t have a double boiler, heat water in saucepan and put metal bowl over top of saucpan to melt chocolate and wax in.  Dip balls into melted chocolate and wax, using toothpick to hold ball.  Leave small part uncovered at the top of ball so it resembles a buckeye.  Let cool completely on waxed paper.  Can be stored in the freezer.

Set aside extra paraffin for a hand dip after you are done dipping your balls.


1. Pupster - December 13, 2008

I must admit, the first time you commented with a ‘SQUEEEEEAL’ on my site was exciting, meeting you in person, watching you handle firearms, and sharing a few beers with you at the IBSBP was one of the thrills of my life, but honest to goodness I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO TURNED ON FOR YOU IN MY LIFE AS I AM RIGHT NOW!

I’m going to go stick my head under a cold faucet.

2. kevlarchick - December 13, 2008

Pupster you are a darling.

If you make the recipe for your woman she might squeal also.

But be careful–if your boys eat too many of these they wil never go to bed. So that squeal thing might be rendered null and void.

3. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

Oh like I’m gonna fall for the balls in hot paraffin trick again.


4. eddiebear - December 13, 2008

My wife makes these, and they are Teh Awesumem!!!!111!!!1

5. eddiebear - December 13, 2008

And she also makes a big ass Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and then cuts it into the square (I forget the official name), and they are good as well.

6. Retired Geezer - December 13, 2008

Wait, you can actually eat paraffin?

7. Mare - December 13, 2008

Those look fantastic. Will absolutely make them for Christmas/Christmas Eve.

What does the wax do? Is it for consistency? I have seen something similar without the wax. I will defer to your expertise.

8. kevlarchick - December 13, 2008

The wax makes sure the chocolate sticks and hardens. You can’t taste it. Wax occurs naturally in nature..

9. Cathy - December 13, 2008

Yum. Thanks for the recipe, Kev!

Had a friend in St. Louis who made these and called ’em Fat Balls.

*Lookie at the Currier & Ives pattern on the candy dish*

10. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

>> Wax occurs naturally in nature..

For example, my ears.

Apparently hair occurs there naturally too.

11. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

Dip balls into melted chocolate and wax

That I will do gladly, in fact, book me at Madison square, and it will be full of two balls a dipping.

using toothpick to hold ball

Not gonna happen, and completely non-negotiable.

12. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

I thought parafin was petroleum based. If you said Beezwax, all would have been ignored on the wax front.

13. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

Wax occurs naturally in nature..

Kinda like how sometimes I repeat myself repetatively.
Or while reading Literature, I feal literate.
Or when I think thoughtfuly.
Or am poetic in my poetry.
Or when I dress up like bat man and like to pick up gay male prostitutes.

14. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

I got bucketed!!! someone dig it out before Michael can delete it.

15. kevlarchick - December 13, 2008

UPDATE: roll into balls before you chill them. Important.

16. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

this is the oddest thing ever. ok.

how do I chill them?

17. Lipstick - December 13, 2008

Roll those balls!

18. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

incidentally, traded email with Slublog today – he is not one of the thousands without power in Maine

19. Lipstick - December 13, 2008

ice pack, bag of frozen peas, just like after the vasectomy!!

20. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

do I get percodan again?

21. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

using toothpick to hold ball
Never gonna sell the whole ball waxing thing, if that is how you present it.

Just saying, and I have the closest thing to experience on this subject of anyone who visits IB.

Poking a hole in balls?


22. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

I think dave might also need some Aloe.

23. Michael - December 13, 2008

For example, my ears. Apparently hair occurs there naturally too.

In my case, I call those things bristles. They’re the ones that couldn’t find room in my nose, I guess.

24. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

I have nose trimmers.

I don’t have nose hair, but I decided to try them one time.

Spent about a week sneezing, and coughing up flem (from smoking) and hair.

They should include a mini-vacuum on those things, not to mention my nose itched like a Mofaku.

My balls don’t itch after I shave them! but then again I shave my balls more ofthen than I shave my face.

25. Michael - December 13, 2008

Just saying, and I have the closest thing to experience on this subject of anyone who visits IB. Poking a hole in balls? NOT COOL!

OhpleaseGodOhpleaseGodOhpleaseGod — don’t let WP tell that story. No, not ball-piercing. Smite him with the lighting of your wrath if he tries. Rain down fire and brimstone on him if he begins to type it.


26. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

Jackie Gleason shaved his balls more often than you shave your face.

27. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

Well. . . I do!

28. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008


29. Wickedpinto - December 13, 2008

and my balls aren’t pierced.

30. Michael - December 13, 2008

*radical subject change*

After three weeks, my new watch was a little less than one second fast today relative to atomic clock time maintained by the National Institute of Standards and Technology. That’s pretty dang good.

I reset it.

You can set your own watch here.

31. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

I can’t believe we can have atomic clocks and I still don’t have my fucking flying car.

Promises were made.

32. PattyAnn - December 13, 2008

KC, WP mentioned this over at Hostages. Grandkids and I made these this afternoon. Getting ready to dip the balls soon. We make the no-wax version:
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
3 1/2 cups powdered sugar
2 cups creamy peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1 tablespoon solid vegetable shortening

Yea, Buckeyes!

33. Michael - December 13, 2008

Dave, you don’t need flying cars to fight crime.

You just need to show up on time.

Hey, this comment rhymes.

34. Michael - December 13, 2008

Yea, Buckeyes!

All this Buckeye talk is making me edgy.


Well, I mean next year, because they sucked pretty bad this year and don’t have a bowl game.

35. Dave in Texas - December 13, 2008

speaking of fighting crime, I watched Dark Knight with the girls last night.

Pretty good flick. After all the hype over Heath Ledger’s performance, I was prepared to be a little let down.

Wasn’t disappointed.

36. eddiebear - December 13, 2008

We have an atomic clock in our house. Saves my ass from having to set them

37. Wickedpino - December 14, 2008

I meantioned that?

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